Over the past week, I drove across the United States, along the I-90, to take an AmeriCorps internship with Merrimack Valley Legal Services. This is my story.
Today I passed through Washington, the Idaho Panhandle and most of Montana. There wasn't much of note, besides a few cliffs and some nice barns. Interestingly, there were parts of the drive where I was unable to get reception on my Verizon cellphone, so suck that Paul Marcarelli.
One thing I did receive was a radio commercial for Blue Mustang, the official cologne of the Ford Mustang, available at Wal-Mart (seriously.) Much as I'd like to smell like motor oil and white lightning, I think I'll pass.
Montana, at least as far as I've seen, doesn't have cities so much as it has sections of highway with a speed limit of 45 (30 for the classy ones) and a few buildings on either side. One such settlement, Lincoln, touted itself on a sign as "Part Wilderness, Part Paradise." Not 100 feet beyond said sign was a ramshackle prefab with "Antiques" spray-painted on a nearby sign.
One nice thing about Montana is that you can usually go up to 70 mph on the highway. Another nice thing is that gas costs $3.90. As a Californian, these are both improvements. As a copy editor, I'm aware I used a dangling modifier there.
Now, without further ado, the things I saw lying in the road:
Today I entered the land of anti-meth ads and storefronts advertising "Clean Restrooms." I also passed by Theodore Roosevelt National Park, but with all due respect to the gun-slingin', fist-swingin', Nobel-Peace-Prize-winnin' POTUS, it didn't look terribly interesting.
In place of interesting insights about the areas I visited, I'd like to talk a little bit about my Garmin nuvi 360. Interestingly, most of the sample MP3s on it seem to be lame techno. Even more interestingly, it can't change its time zone by itself, despite being a GPS. Otherwise, it's an incredibly useful device. The only thing missing is a Soliton radar.
On a final note, I'm watching Larry King as I write this, and Michele Bachmann (R-MN) is incredibly frightening to look at. The plasticine drama-mask she calls a face has been lifted so many times it fell off the lift and straight into the Uncanny Valley. But then, James Carville is no looker either. I kept expecting him to pick up a cane and break into a jig, extolling the virtues of Six Flags.
Things I Saw Lying In The Road:
Contrary to the claims of the tourist pamphlet I picked up, I didn't have a legendary experience in North Dakota.
Minnesota has a surprisingly good radio selection, which is a relief after a couple days of nothing but Christian rock, power metal, country and Fox News. (Fortunately, I brought CDs.) It also has trees, another thing I missed.
And now for an interesting (not really, but 1500 miles of yellowing fields and light drizzle has a way of skewing your perspective) observation. I've been strictly adhering to the posted speed limit throughout the entire trip. In Washington, this made me the slowest thing on the road. Everyone was passing me. In Montana and North Dakota, I was by far the fastest thing on the road, again going at the speed limit. In Minnesota, I was the slowest again. Even little old ladies in VW Bugs were passing me by. Draw what sociological conclusions you will.
Things I Saw Lying In The Road: (that I keep doing this probably says something about the scenery out here)
55 mph speed limits would annoy me if anyone else on the road obeyed them.
Chicago has a very impressive skyline, but it was a little too cloudy to get a clear shot of it. And speaking of weather, I finally ran into the thunderstorm I'd been expecting in North Dakota. Ironically (presence of actual irony being debateable,) Colorless Wind came up on my stereo as I entered the storm.
Interestingly, the Motel 6's at Menomonie and Great Falls had free wi-fi, while the ones here and in Bismarck didn't. Presumably in a big city you're expected to go clubbing instead of sitting in your room with a laptop.
Things I Saw Lying In The Road:
A toll booth operator asked for "2.85," but she pronounced it like "tweighty-five" and at first I thought she was asking for $25.00. I thought my mistake was silly until I ran up against an $11 toll.
I passed the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame and Niagara Falls today, but unfortunately my travel schedule was a little too tight for tourism. So I guess this trip was more boring than it had to be. If it helps, I had the vaguely amusing thought of starting a legal blog called Pap-Torts. It would kind of have to be about frivolous lawsuits, though.
New York has an interesting state law, whereby you must turn on your headlights when you are using your windshield wipers. That strikes me as a somewhat odd way to mandate headlight use during the rain. What if there's a madman who never turns on his wipers even in heavy rain? Wouldn't it be doubly important for him to turn on his headlights, since he'll basically be blinded and other drivers will have to avoid him?
P.S. Cruise control is caps lock for cool.
Things I Saw Lying In The Road:
Short drive today, leaving me time to move in.
Lowell, at least the Belvidere neighborhood, is significantly different from anywhere else I've lived previously. It's not quite the tranquil suburbia my family lives in, but neither is it the eclectic bustle of Berkeley (although Lowell is a college town.) Well, I'm sure I'll get used to it, not least because I'm locked into this lease for at least two months.
Being able to buy soda in 3-liter bottles is nice, though.
Things I Saw Lying In The Road: