This is a collection of quotes, of varying degrees of funniness, from various people with whom I've come into contact. Everything is [sic] and uncensored (with one exception); quotes are presented in descending chronological order.

"If you're in an airplane, do you feel an earthquake?" - Anonymous

"Lack of intelligence hampers the Pentagon's ability to penetrate..." - TV announcer

"The zebra!" - Lose Fakalolo, asked what dinosaur was killed by the meteor

"Taking of insane of random type is happen now! We are good at the fight! Die or be killed will happen, which happens first will be seen when it occur! We are not need to be resist against! Do not try to make us do the stop!" - 'Mattzilla' (GameFAQs)

"I like pancakes, especially Top Ramen" - Sophia Wang

"If you want a Rock Slide/Earthquake pokemon use a Rhyhorn... it is both types and has a way higher attack than a Steelix... ah, forget it... why am I telling you how to play, that is my strategy ... wait... WHY am I telling you how to play??? CAUSE YOU FREAKIN ASKED FOR SOMEONE'S OPINION!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR ICE PUNCH, DUST IT OFF, TURN IT SIDEWAYS AND SHOVE IT STRAIGHT UP [Deleted]" - Anonymous (GameFAQs)

"Which painting is your favoritest?" - High School Exit Exam

"I have Mrs. Beirne. Who do you have? Oh, Vignette." - Darin Brown

"What is solar power? Is it from the sun?" - Darin Brown

"If we use solar power, wouldn't the sun burn out?" - Darin Brown

"A patent is like, this thing, where no one else can make them, because the government protects you, and if someone else makes it, you can kill them." - Lindsey Paullus

"A synthetic product is cotton." - Raul Burgos

"Little Red Riding Hood likes the wolf and wants the wolf to eat her." - Gina Carosella

"If we're having an energy crisis, why don't we all just use batteries?" - Darin Brown

"And I need a wang." - Raul Burgos

"My future? I'm gonna go to a California University and get a major in Computer Science + a minor in teaching for down-times, and if that doesn't work I'll grab me a bench in San Francisco and smoke crack." - Darin Brown

"I'm obsolute." - Katie McGinnis

"HEY! Pillows aren't for people who are sleeping!" - Sophia Wang

"They speak American" - 'captainspud' (IRC)

"Remember me Jayman from gamefaqs.com.Well I just want to say sorry for what I sai.........what the hell am I talking about your the asshole.(CENSORED) (CENSORED) (CENSORED) ass (CENSORED) (CENSORED) sucker stupid (CENSORED) ass (CENSORED).How dare you talk trash about my team.If I ever saw you I would kick the (CENSORED) out of you so fast your mom would fell it,and I mean fell it know what I mean.So never talk trash about anything eles I do or eles I will send you so many e-mails you'll never be able to count them all/(CENSORED)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:(SUCK THAT (CENSORED)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!" - James Coffey (This quote alone has been censored because I lost the e-mail and had to recover it from when I posted it on GameFAQs, which uses automatic censors)

"It is a battle in which you must win in order to be victorious." - Austin Blackmon

"I believe that hentai and porn in general. I resonsible for much of the sick wisted people these days." - 'sailorteam' (GameFAQs)

"I was the chosen of Naoko Takeuchi herself to be a destoyer for twisting charaters into perversion." - 'sailorteam'

"We travel around in our giant flating fortress susing the lost art for honorable plot convience to stop stories about charaters made by others from being twisted by perverts." - 'sailorteam'

"I dont use defensive and offensive moves." - 'Cyndaquil2001' (GameFAQs)

"Uhh... he was a French guy... he helped that Lou guy... and he was smart... and... uhh... smart" - Ashkan Eshgi, asked to describe Cardinal Richelieu

"Wait a sec....If god is everywhere god has had sex with himself in a number of ways that would disgust the average person" - 'Jack Mama' (GameFAQs)

"Feh. I ALWAYS ask God to help me out, even in my most dire times of need, and I never get any sigh... Hmm, maybe I should stop ending my prayers in 'You jackass'." - 'Spitfire XL' (GameFAQs)

"Victory without peace... erm peace without victory!" - Rohit Shrawagi, mock post-WW1 conference

"How could you people all forget the Hammurderer and his trademark 'STABBLE STABBLE STABBLE!'? The injustice of it all! It's almost as bad as Kool-Aid's failed 'Grapist' marketing ploy! (for those of you out of the know, the Grapist was a failed 1980s Kool-Aid ad; he was a giant purple monster who molested young thirsty children.)" - 'Azure Edge' (GameFAQs)

"Hatchets are most effective, not when they are buried, but when they are thrown at the people you hate in an attempt to kill them." - 'some1sname' (GameFAQs)

"...Or maybe I've just looked at hentai so much that my standards for women is up so much that all non-fantasy women look ugly." - 'ChronoNuriko' (GameFAQs)

"You need to explain to your mom that between the ages of 12 and 20, the male brain shuts down and all functions are handled by either the wang or the stomach" - 'Smash Daisaku' (GameFAQs)

"Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and he got hit by a bus." - 'Pook420' (GameFAQs)

"Whats sometimes even worse then Engrish is trying to understand the instructions on some stuff from Japan, their mini manga format isn't that helpful to me. I was setting up the Gamecube I bought from Japan, and there is a picture of a snowman attacking the gamecube, with a fan or something repelling it. I think this means to keep the Gamecube away from cold, but it might also mean that I can drive away evil Snowmen with a fan." - 'KM320' (GameFAQs)

"You cant spell manslaughter without laughter" - 'Myfestivus Two' (GameFAQs)

"They were using curse words like 'shut up'..." - Anonymous library complainant

"She looks like Whitney Spear." - Robin Ma, referring to Avril Lavigne

"i have been looking for some realy good cat gierl and elv hentai but all i have found is skeches are good pics that have the down south erased covers are bleepd out if you couid find me some good cat gierl and elv hentai id be vary happy and plz mack sure its not censord and realy good art work ty bye bye" - 'babyboy100587' (Shoujo-ai.com)

"i have an idea for a tiny toons fic called soul; there's a reason "toons" can't die or why they're brought by storks, it's because they have no real soul. every toon is "born" (if you want to call it that) in small incubatsion labs scattered all around the universe (except earth, can't let anyone find out). but on the moon two special toons are being created by two diffrent componys, one is the japanese compony with a blue bunny named S.O.U.L. (systems operating unifed as a legion) and a unknow compony created sophie, a angelic copy of the first and most powerfullest toon, lilith. elmyra was "stolen" before she was programed and S.O.U.L. revolted and destroyed the lab, now the question is... where are they?" - 'ruinkaimaramon' (GameFAQs)

"all man that dude got a pink licker all man thats just rong runs to corner and burns wifes dildos that will not happen to me my ass is hurting just waching it but for some reasing im aroused all man dame viagra well i hope to god that dednt happen to any of you OWWWWWWWW NO PUT IOT DOWN" - 'babyboy100587'

"nooooo god plz kill me man that is rong man ive seen better dead thangs then that ohh my god whers the eye wash i need to puke runs to corner and crys" - 'babyboy100587'

"uh whales arent animals." - 'ssjOryzz' (GameFAQs)

"and i can outrun bullets, if they shoot badly that is." - 'mrduckbear3' (GameFAQs)

"i just can do things most people can't. that's why i'm special" - 'mrduckbear3', on dodging bullets and grabbing knives/axes/guns out of assailants' hands

"I did the nasty in the janitor's closet. Sadly enough, it was with the janitor." - 'SaferSephy29' (GameFAQs)

"Does not wearing a shirt in summer is fruity?" - 'Steve Smith' (GameFAQs)

"i don't care if u believe me or not, but i can dodge bullets. i believe anyone can if they tried." - 'mrduckbear3'

"I isn't, 'Do you think I am a liar...'. It's 'Do you think I, Nuclear Winter, is a liar...' Sound it out, it doesn't sound right with 'am'." - 'Nuclear Winter' (GameFAQs)

"Martha. It reminds me of barfa." - 'Darth Gamer' (GameFAQs), on uncute girl names

"You're looser than Tubgirl's diarrhea!" - Ted Hong

"a hunting knife? that's considered a consealed dangerous weapon, aka code blue. you could get arrested for that" - 'mrduckbear3'

"so if u were trying to give me a brian inflation, it's not gonna work today" - 'mrduckbear3'

"how dare you insult my speak. i may got a C+ in english but that does NOT mean i have horrible grammar." - 'mrduckbear3'

"i walk in and i see his roomate pleasuring myself, i'll be able to go back there again..." - 'mrduckbear3'

"So I has the shimp Ramen..." - 'neubs' (GameFAQs)

"All sorts of kids swear and do mean things out of innocence..." - 'Zalagren' (GameFAQs)

".999... + .111.... = 1" - 'XxXxNatexXxX' (GameFAQs)

"I think he doesn't feel comfortable, because he gets a funny feeling down there... to him it's like a lunch buffet! He's gotta try them all! Ho-hos, chocodiles, twinkies, eggrolls, hot dogs, corndogs, crullers, pretzel sticks, he's just gotta wrap his mouth around them all!" - 'Knightmare6' (GameFAQs), on 'mrduckbear3''s fear of public showering

"i feel sorry for the kids who have to see ducky's ass. Damn. Probably like two elephants fighting over a milkdud." - 'guitarman3544' (GameFAQs), on 'mrduckbear3'

"You guys need to be nice to him. One day he might save mankind. You know, if a comet was about to collide with the planet, we could put him in its way and save the earth. Or if the moon floats away and we need a new source of gravity to affect the tides...." - 'obijkenobi' (GameFAQs), on 'mrduckbear3'

"Many of your flames have no affect on me becuz, like my girl christina says, i am beautiful, no matter what you say." - 'mrduckbear3'

"you? a marine? please, if that were true, you'd be station already and forever be discontinued from the world. that means the net too, thakn you" - 'mrduckbear3'

"so wait wait, you're stationed already but you're using the net now??? ok that doesn' tmake sense. shouldn't you be on duty like 24/7? i've done my hw, i know how the 'marines' work. they're just like soldiers except they can't fight" - 'mrduckbear3'

"It turns us on when we work with wood naked." - 'Cyborg14' (GameFAQs)

"My dog has such a tight hole...I tried to get into my dogs doghouse but I couldnt, it was too tight and small for me. It smelt funny in there too." - 'Ferny84' (GameFAQs)

"This guy is asking for a nice lick in the balls..." - 'Yen Yen' (GameFAQs)

"In first grade: I got in trouble for feeding my friend glue, he liked it, she made us both draw a picture, I drew a flower, nothing else, just green stuff at the bottom and a very sloppy flower, he drew a picture of me sticking glue in his mouth." - 'me418' (GameFAQs)

"To say 'Where are the WMDs???' is unpatriotic because like I always say its going to take something hitting close to home for you people to realize the truth." - 'Carlos21'

"Questioning the government because you people are puppets is unpartriotic" - 'Carlos21'

"and someone as cool and hot as me, can mispell as many times as i want" - 'mrduckbear3'

"Incest is only acceptable on kazaa" - 'The Booker Man' (GameFAQs)

"Were just like any other couple, except we were squeezed out of the same hole when we were born..." - 'eggy' (GameFAQs)

"OMG Bush was the President the Iraq was with bombs!" - 'HitmanDark' (GameFAQs)

"MAYBE YOU THINK THAT YOU SEE EVERYTHING! BUT SEE THIS!I DON'T WANT CHEAT YOU! THIS IS FOR YOUR PLEASURE!DECIDE ALONE!!!" - Porn ad

"CHICKS PUT HAND DEEP IN VAGINA!!! WITH YOUR GIRL FRIEND!SHE WILL ENJOY!!!" - Porn ad

"Anyway, so strange jazz music suddenly started playing and we did the dead over and over again." - 'superfurry' (GameFAQs)

"A couple years ago I was home alone in the living room watching Baywatch naked. You can guess what I was doing. In the middle my dad came in the door and I just took off running for my room, where my clothes were. Then he followed me to my room. Then he knocked on my door and asked me what I was doing I just softly said 'playing'." - 'Venom2008' (GameFAQs)

"If you were to walk in at that moment you would have seen a little kid lying on the ground as a 50 year old women attempts to take his pants off." - 'NEO ODIN' (GameFAQs)

"I've been caught whacking I was looking at porn on the net.... but I was watching shark week on tlc......." - 'mrshowtime88' (GameFAQs)

"Quite the sight, seeing me hobbling down the street as if I have a club foot, holding my arm, in my undergarments." - 'JustJay' (GameFAQs)

"So I'm falling asleep in Geometry class, being dozy I for some reason believe to be in my room. I get a boner. I think to myself 'Hey, why waste an opportunity?' So I start going at it. I feel a tap on my shoulder. I open my eyes to realize my friend is tapping me, and remember that I'm in Geometry class, not my room. So I decide to slyly zip it up. Being tired I forget its hard. So I tried to zip up my erection. Not fun in the least bit. At this point it seems embarrassing enough, right? Oh, but of course I made it worse. Zipping up my erection hurt, so I swore a couple of times, everyone hears me and looks at me....." - 'Linkin Mario' (GameFAQs)

"So I asked my friend's mom where vienna sausages come from. She said they come from little boys' weeners." - 'Polished Car' (GameFAQs)

"The teacher sends me to the nurses office while my rump is in pain from having a tack stuck in it. When I get down there, she takes me into the bathroom and says 3 words to me. "Drop your pants". I give her a O_O And she says "Drop em already!". So I drop my pants for the wrinkled old bag, and as she examine's my rump for blood or a hole I guess, I had a diareha attack! Being bent over didn't help, it came out of nowhere, I blew crap all over the old womans face..." - 'Elmo the weasle' (GameFAQs)

"Curious and confused, I open the door. They're's my mom, making out with my dog on the bathroom floor." - 'SuperCrabfrog' (GameFAQs)

"Yeah, well, when the Doctor went to check my wang, I obviously had to piss, so I pissed right in his face, for like 20 seconds." - 'corbett99' (GameFAQs)

"so there i am in front of all these hotties and my friends, ripping my pants off while tearing up so I could examine my nuts..." - 'islandpunk 10' (GameFAQs)

"........who in the bloody **** is Dumbledore? Sounds like a Vibrator." - 'Steve18877' (GameFAQs)

"When did I realize I was God? I was praying one night, and I realized I was talking to myself." - 'Raiden333' (GameFAQs)

"So there's your free lesson for today kiddies! If your parents think your a homosexual, just show them your porn collection and it will dispel all doubts!" - 'Vicious1337' (GameFAQs)

"You Canadian is going to get invaded i swear your force can't even kill one US soldier. The we'll use your land to build Disney Winter Wonderland, just like Iraq for a Disney Aladdin Adventure..." - 'Dragon Claw' (GameFAQs)

"A-fucking-men... I mean that in the exclaming amen way, not anything about having intercourse with a dude." - 'Chaos201' (GameFAQs)

"Try getting your fat, dirty sister's menstrel blood on your wang, inadvertantly, when you go to crap because she some how got it all over the bottom of the toilet seat." - 'Grimnir III' (GameFAQs)

"You're never too old to deprive the dying of sandwiches." - 'FBI Agent' (GameFAQs)

"Yep, the mayan calendar ends in 2012. Latinos will drop dead everywhere. Stay out of El Salvador." - 'Mrmcgoogle' (GameFAQs)

"I went in their pantry in the middle of the night to find his parents doing it anally. All I wanted was an Oreo cookie..." - 'SoulReaver7911' (GameFAQs)

"Chuckobo and his gang, 'nailed' some guy, I geuss you could say theybanged him up. Coincidentially, there was some lube involved, and this situation didn't involve females?" - 'M1A1' (GameFAQs)

"anybody will tell you that physically a guy is much stronger than the female body. and the truth of the matter is, is that it's much harder for a female to fight with a guy. especially if the guy is me, got it?" - 'mrduckbear3'

"They're men. They bench-press much more than they both weigh, they're 6-feet-and-change, they lope across the baseline on legs that are 6" longer than the next tallest competitors', they crush the ball like Sammy Sosa with a bat made of solid cork. Beetle-browed, stroppy-thewed, rippling-bicep'd, cast-iron-boobed, pimple-backed MEN. Wearing more gold than Mr. T on Sunday, in these god-awful skimpy dresses that the tennis world would only want to see Anna Kournikova in. These two look about as feminine as the guys from Bosom Buddies." - 'Coolhand' (GameFAQs), on Venus and Serena Williams

"What is incest? I always thought it was those room aroma things..." - 'Avreal' (GameFAQs)

"Listen, I must be the most stubborn person on this entire planet. There is a 99.9% to persuade me into your realm of thinking." - 'Kenshin Himura286' (GameFAQs)

".:dances around kitchen naked while making a sammich:. 'Oops, out of mayo. ...hey I'm naked. I'll make my own!'" - 'mickeymouseisdead' (GameFAQs)

"Mike, you gotta go down to the office. Its about your fettish with sodomizing my grandmother." - 'SS4Brolly' (GameFAQs), quoting a principal

"Oookay, let me get this straight... you don't know if you have testicles?" - 'Zeloran' (GameFAQs)

"At my elementary school, someone snuck into the computer lab, spent a few hours looking at pr0n, then to cover the evidence, he pissed all over the computer." - 'TheAngleSlam' (GameFAQs)

"WHY in GOD'S NAME would you want to explain anal fisting to a 6-year-old girl?" - 'Drake Aldan' (GameFAQs)

"Usually childhood sex education involves talking about 'a mommy and daddy who love each other very much,' and how they 'make a baby,' not 'CLICK HERE FOR EXTREME HARDCORE BUTTSEX.'" - 'tadpoleofdeath' (GameFAQs)

"It all starts with self handjobs, then you begin flexing and sucking yourself, then before you know it, you're cutting holes in yourself and having self se><0rs." - 'BrahmaBuzzsaw88' (GameFAQs)

"STD's! Gotta catch 'em all!" - 'ThePreacher' (GameFAQs)

"No, let's call them prosti-tots." - 'Austin P' (GameFAQs), referring to young girls who dress trashily

"You think that's good? How about the LUEser who shoved a tic-tac up [his urethra] and whacked with it in there?!" - 'Hyena 20' (GameFAQs)

"WHAT!!! MY MESSAGE IS MORE ON TOPIC THAN YOUR MOTHER AT A WHORE HOUSE!!!" - 'SupaNova' (GameFAQs), contesting a GameFAQs moderation

"Who else has a curvy wang when erect? Mine curves off to the left a bit. I figure it's like ordering the curly fries at Carl's, they taste better." - 'Duterasemis' (GameFAQs)

"and what i said about the salt on wounds thing is a nice thing, not a bad thing." - 'mrduckbear3'

"When we were in 6'th grade, we got to dissect pigs. Yay. Well, being the immature sixth graders we are, we stuck eye droppers, and pipettes, and other random materials up the pigs anus. Afterwards, we had about thirty pigs all getting anal, and we took the fishing line we had, to tie back the legs, and strung them all from the ceiling." - 'randomperson' (GameFAQs)

"Also dissecting pigs. This time was in 9th grade however. We had this one kid who had low self esteem, and was always doing anything to get noticed, so he actually sat with his pig back in the back away from the teacher, and made out with the damn thing, until we all started looking at him. The teacher, of course, noticed, and the kid got suspended." - 'randomperson'

"This one kid tried to kill himself by jumping off the stairs. The problem was that it was only one story. He only hurt himself and we all laughed at him." - 'The NEW Hurricane' (GameFAQs)

"i'm not spoilefd, i just feel whatever i want i deserve to get. and if it means ruining her life and this jerk to get it..so be it." - 'mrduckbear3'

"Mom: Get off the internet so I can see if anyone called.
[BRIAN11]: OK, wait a second.
mom: Are you still on the internet?
[BRIAN11]: I just got off.
Mom: Did it feel good?" - Conversation between 'BRIAN11' (GameFAQs) and his mother

"how would you feel if you went to school wearing a hemp shirt and some stoner tried to smoke it off your body? its illegal for a reason and thats one of them!" - 'Wardo1' (GameFAQs), on marijuana

"tobacco is probably alright for you if its still legal." - 'Wardo1'

"i will not debate with someone who does something they support!" - 'Wardo1'

"Does the lesbians in the real world the same as the ones you see in the pr0ns?" - 'nnguyen11490' (GameFAQs)

"When I went to tackle her, I kinda rested my head on her package for a second, before getting up." - 'teddybeartamer' (GameFAQs)

"2. If it was a Animee, there would be violent scenes." - 'CatsPee' (GameFAQs)

"Try living in Arkansas. I don't know if these people come here illegally, but all they do is speak Mexican." - 'GameSavior' (GameFAQs)

"It was the Smell of Hell. It was if Jesus Christ himself popped out of my ass, pointed at me, and said, 'Yeah *****, that's what you get for being an atheist'." - 'Spiffy Magoo' (GameFAQs)

"Wait, girls don't have orgasms. WTF are you talking about. only boys do I thought." - 'Conrad4' (GameFAQs)

"Last time I checked christians are the same around the world. If they weren't than they wouldn't be christians." - 'sdogunlucky' (GameFAQs)

"All christians (no matter what kind) think it is fundamentally their job to save other people thats part of being a christian." - 'sdogunlucky'

"lately a lot of people have been bad mouthign one of the best president ever IMO. he would be president george w bush. a lot of people hate him and say hes dumb but heres something u didnt know! he went to college. would a dumb person go to college? i dont think so. but here what many people yell at him for:
iraqi invasion
alright listen. bush has proven many a times that they are devolping weapons of mass destruction! for instance look at the iran iraq war where mr. saddumb insane used bio weapons againts iran! now the un is sayign he never had any. they even set hans blix over there. now where did mr blix come from? GERMANY! germany is the same country that has ocktober fest which is a celebration of beer.
that is why bush is right in my opinion! any one agree?" - 'Wardo1'

"And to the people who said it was rape, well, that's a subjective term." - 'Jlbrightbill' (GameFAQs)

"I don't think kids can tell the difference between games and reality because they haven't matured to that level yet. They need some help and that help is to not be able to play the games or buy the games." - Arthur Sawe

"My 1st time losing my virginity.." - 'xXDrunken TigerXx' (GameFAQs)

"- Confucious (This is the guy who wrote buddhism right?)" - 'davidisate' (GameFAQs)

" these draw r suck like old man stink
want more testicle/zio so that i may enccourged
may rack look like cow. it worth less my time. she is suk. get real woman and you may feel the stroke. I fuck her" - 'SolrocksXx' (Gamerz Guild)

"I'm going to cut a hole in the bowl full of candy and stick in my wang. Then I'm going to tell every trick-or-treater that they have to pull the 'Hot Stick' five times before they get their candy." - 'NovaFalcon' (GameFAQs)

"what is a goatse?? like hair on the face??" - 'Risu no Kairu' (GameFAQs)

"it says
young
somejapanewritingthatithinkmeansteens" - 'cloudstrife591' (GameFAQs), asked to validate his translation of a Japanese DVD cover

"wtf i aint underage
i do know wut i talkin about
and it does have two r cuz i have DVD AND IT HAS SUB AND I WATCHED IT WIT SUB SO I KNOW HOW TO SPELL SO BE QUIET" - 'cloudstrife591'

"Yes, despite the fact you don't have a good grasp on english, yet alone Japanese, of course you are right over me, someone who isn't talking out of his ass! Why didn't I realize this sooner?" - 'Jyagan' (GameFAQs)

"if you are gay, you are gay you are not straight" - 'ian' (GameFAQs)

"I can't stand books which have secret meanings. I don't want to think when I read a book, I just want the storyline." - 'firedragon1689' (GameFAQs)

"rember when you say you dont care about jessica lynch you are saying you dont care for george w. bush. trust me, america cares about george w. bush why else would he win the 200 election by such a lands slide. i swear sometimes." - 'Wardo1'

"It is slimy, an ugly shade of pinkish red, and it spurts blood randomly. It is like the designers just ran out of ideas. I am mainlsy scared by a woman's reproductive "organ" because it looks like a big, pink mouth that wants to eat my wang. And I love my wang." - 'DarkestDay' (GameFAQs)

"Well, it looks like a slimy, lipless mouth that says 'I DEMAND WANGS FOR FOOD!'" - 'DarkestDay', on vaginas

"That cock was a real ANIMAL! It was huge, fat, looked almost muscular, and large enough to reach the knees! It was so huge that a number of pussycats were afraid of its sheer size, and it was rather protective of its territory as well." - 'Diyosa' (GameFAQs)

"callin me stupid, u dont noe me and im [pretty sure im very much smarter than u so shut ur hole." - 'AznSnipErGun' (GameFAQs)

"When it's cold, all you want to do is pee on yourself." - Alex Gilliland

"One time I dressed all in black for school, and then I came home. My dad thought it was a burglar so he shot me then had sex with the bullet hole." - 'scurty234' (GameFAQs)

"Nothing I recall, but I did ask my parents what 'pornographic' meant and then I'm like "I'm pornographic!!" the whole day." - 'Rodri316' (GameFAQs)

"While I do find the female form attractive, something has happened between me and my hand that is simply magical. I have begun to lust after it, just as I lust after a woman. I sit at the dinner table, and right as I am about to grab a chicken leg - I see it - my hand. I'm immediately filled with the heated passion upon the sight. The five delicate fingers. The toughened skin on the palm. The intricate patterns of the lines in the skin. I drop my napkin. I fall out of the chair. And I whack it." - 'TI92 Calculator' (GameFAQs)

"He could steal all of his stuff from China... I mean, what are they gonna do? They've got a buncha starving people who think it's wrong to eat Cow." - 'Jeff AKA Snoopy' (GameFAQs)

"For gods sake! I only think he's murdered his family!" - 'Kidsta777' (GameFAQs)

"Would constantly beating your father be bad for the father-son relationship?" - 'jerbils' (GameFAQs)

"That's pretty bad cuz I'm a 14-year-old black male. I'm not supposed to like school." - 'LilHatieMatey' (GameFAQs)

"Trying to say America sucks because ALL Anime > ALL American Animation = Communism." - 'Ronixis' (GameFAQs)

"Trying to say 4Kids is a fault for every bad dub, and not aim the blame on Kids WB? = Communism, and Bias." - 'Ronixis'

"Thats being a Animation fan, thats Capitalism!" - 'Ronixis'

"Nationlism, is when ONE company owns the National 'everything' (Toys, TV, Food)" - 'Ronixis'

"Saying one side, that human beings are so sexually depraved, yet you do the worst kind of depravity, makes you worse than a liar...it makes you a demagoge." - 'Ronixis'

"when i was a little kid, i used to think that IQ meant intellignce quota, i thought that if i didnt meet it, a bunch of fbi agents will burst in and whip me with their spinal cords." - 'XCubeStation' (GameFAQs)

"If you ARE Chinese, I don't understand how you can like Japanese folk, but whatever." - 'GrandZeroX26' (GameFAQs)

"Being colorblind is the state of racial ignorance in which something bad usually happens...HA!" - 'GrandZeroX26'

"If we grant gays the right to marry, we must by precendent, legalize beastiality." - 'FortuneCookie381' (GameFAQs)

"...you've never felt pain until you've SWALLOWED Listerine... my god, that is like a party in your throat; and everyone is getting brutally murdered." - 'VincentDeath655' (GameFAQs)

"Usually, our President needs to be rather handsome. This does not describe John Kerry." - Nick Mumbach

"canadian and american money is the same value.
$99 US = $129.99 CDN
$129 CDN = $99 US" - 'The Q' (GameFAQs)

"...I agree with what he stated...and wasn't even siding with him at all." - 'Fynal' (GameFAQs)

"And about the idiot part....I'm no where nears an idiot." - 'Sharingan Sasuke 92' (GameFAQs)

"i screw my grammar." - 'aznanimeX' (GameFAQs)

"I don't need or have a reason to be against non heterosexual marriages, I'm an American, I just am." - 'Albileo2187' (GameFAQs)

"Besides, this country was formed so that we could worship freely to the one true God, not so heathens like you could run amuck and screw everything up." - 'TidusDaniel54' (GameFAQs)