On nights like tonight when my cheeks have gone numb (my way of telling whether I'm drunk), I like to reflect upon the thoughts that have come and gone throughout the day.
I sometimes think about how interesting it would be to be a stranger to someone else. We often find it difficult to open up to friends, for though we consider them near and dear to us, the fact remains that oftentimes we worry about how they'll judge us for what we say and what we do. How difficult it is to tell a friend about a time when we were untrue to someone we loved (or thought we loved), or how we were dishonest when the best of their faith was placed in us. We hold ourselves to higher moral judgment because we want to be held in a high moral light.
Yet, were a stranger to come to us and offer a kind ear and sympathetic voice, we would be so glad to open ourselves to them. For when it's with a stranger, we no longer need to worry about how we'll face them tomorrow, or at a group dinner, or at any other sort of gathering where we'll be face to face with those whose opinions we hold high and important. Knowing that a stranger is here for now and gone tomorrow allows us to say things that we would otherwise never want identified with us, yet are inextricably a part of us. The hideous things about us that we don't want anyone to know, yet burden us so that we desperately wish to let them go.
While letting others know of our most ashamed thoughts might not make them go away, it nonetheless makes the burden easier to bear; and in doing so, helps us find the courage and the strength to come to terms with it in our own way.
Posted by aoshi at November 11, 2007 12:35 AM | TrackBack