I'm heading back to northern CA for the next few days (until Thursday, specifically) to see some relatives in the post-holiday reveries. It looks like it'll be a trip that'll provide me with some time away to think about how much I'm willing to forgive and where I should draw the line; and more than anything, take some time off to just think about things. Like where I am now, where I'm going, and why it is I'm going there.
I had a bunch of different things to write about all queued up in my head, but I'm too busy seeing people and doing things these days that I don't have the time to write them down and feel like I've done them proper justice. Suffice to say, there have been some awkward moments, some momentously fun moments, and some moments that fell into that ether that lies between awake and sleeping states.
I'll write something a bit more concrete when I get back...or maybe on the road.
When I was a kid in high school I would often find myself thinking that the girls in Cerritos weren't very attractive at all and how I couldn't wait to go to college to be surrounded by the lovelist of lovely women. I built high dreams, with high hopes to reach them, and at some misstep in life when UCLA said "bitch no" I decided to go to Berkeley and figured I would live out my dreams of lovely women, only norcal style.
Wrong.
Having been back in Cerritos for a few days now I can't count the times I've thought to myself "wow that girl looks good." I can count on one hand the number of times I've said that while at Berkeley (and when I have, they've almost all been from back south).
This provides two possibilities:
1) Cerritos really isn't that bad and I was a spoiled little boy.
2) Berkeley sucks.
In an unnatural move towards school spirit it's not the school itself that sucks, but the quality and quantity of attractive women. The incoming freshmen this year (and, supposedly, last) have made dramatic improvements to that (I can think of a at least one off the top of my head...wouldn't it be kooky if she read my blog o_O). But now here I am, back in socal, and damn. Daaaaaaaaaaaamn.
Definitely not looking forward to going back to Berkeley.
So in an effort to escape from the petty drama that is my life, I will instead document the things that will be going on in the coming weeks. If you see something you like, please please pretty please with sugar on top contact me and we can all go have fun. Comments/email work, IMs are better, phone calls are best.
Mon 12/20 - Wed 12/22: Snowboarding and drunken debauchery with people I don't know at Mammoth
Later Wed 12/22: Party at Ria's
Thurs 12/23: Shopping for computer parts with Mike (hopefully) and taking the well behaved children of the area to go clubbing at Perversion, because goth seems to be becoming the "in" thing (sort of)
Fri 12/24 - Sat 12/25: Family and fun
Sun 12/26: I'm free! Take me home with you!
Mon 12/27 - Thurs 12/30: Drive back up to norcal to see relatives
Fri 12/31: So many options! Clubbing? Gay clubbing? Hotel party? Something else entirely that will possibly compromise my moral integrity and will guarantee me a spot in hell?
Sat 1/1: Rest, recuperation, and probably a little more partying...just because.
Sun 1/2 - 1/20: Free as a bird, so catch me in your hand because it's worth two of me in the bush (feel free to interpret that however you want, because I'm sure all your dirty minds will twist it one way or another...perverts)
And now it's off to bed so I can be bright and awake for when I drive half way back up to Berkeley to go snowboarding. Fear me, for I will be wet and frozen from falling on my ass 50 freaking million times.
With the close of another semester and the end of another round of finals I finally have time to work on my projects again. What I currently have on my plate:
* configureWTF, a project Brett and I will be coding up in Python
* research with Professor Rao and Jimmy and co.
* develop an educational framework for distributed learning
* work with Mike on refactoring his dad's company's website
* make materials for my system administration class next semester
* make materials for my rapid prototyping with Python class next semester
And somewhere in the midst of all this, find time to rest, relax, and spend some time with friends and family. As I get older my time becomes more and more scarce, to the point where a five minute break is gold.
I taught a system administration course here this past semester. I like to think that I'm a fairly lax and laid back educator. I don't ask for much from my students; if the homework's a week or two late, it happens; if the project's been delayed by a week, it happens; if a student finishes most of the homework but doesnt quite get it all, I let it slide. I tell them straight up they don't have to come to class, and as long as they make an honest effort to do well in the class I'll pass them.
The idea behind all of this is I would like to believe (continue to believe, that is) that people are honestly interested in learning something. When they sign up for my class, they get nothing but raw units; no course credit, no movement towards graduation, nothing useful really. Were I leading a required course I might feel differently, but as it is I feel like I shouldn't need to be strict and force students to meet hard deadlines or risk failure. I'd like to think that the students will have enough self motivation to do the simple tasks I ask them to; the homework assignments aren't very complex at all (most almost give the student the answer), the project has been trivially simple, but nonetheless some students have still found themselves floundering.
Or, if they're not floundering, abusing the freedom and lack of restrictions that I've given them.
So there was a group project assigned (yes I know everyone hates group projects; I actually like them when they go well). Some groups managed to finish, some didn't. That's okay, these things happen. So I asked people to send me individual self evaluations to get a feel for how they contributed towards their project. I told them that grades had already been decided, and they don't need to worry about anything and could be candid and honest with us.
There's one group where the leader sends me periodical updates. He CC's the rest of his team, and the headers are pretty plain and clear to see. Apparently, the headers aren't so glaringly, painfully obvious enough. His groupmates decide to hit the reply all button, and basically talk about how things didn't work at all. That's okay, I can live with that. Then another groupmate decides to mail back with the following (and more, this is just the main part):
"Yes, we need to send them a note by thursday with some b.s. that we "all contributed to". So we need to make something up quick. It doesn't even have to be good. They don't really care that much. Any one have any ideas."
I can accept people talking amongst themselves in this way, but it's kind of sad to see a display of idiocy (or maybe just carelessness) made directly to me.
So let this be a public lesson to you all to always, always check your email headers and make sure you don't end up saying something stupid to someone you shouldn't say it to. Or just don't say stupid things at all, and you'll never have to worry.
Upon the start of a conversation with my apartmentmate and somewhere in the midst of a wayward thought I got a call on my cell. For most people this is nothing new, but 1) I don't call anybody, and 2) Nobody calls me.
So it did more than raise my eye a little when I saw that the call was from a girl I hadn't hung out with in over a month.
I had seen her earlier in the evening, at a Rescomp (where I work) holiday party that I had to leave early to pseudo-work on one of my class projects. We didn't talk much during the party; a coworker friend was sitting in between us, making direct conversation a bit more than awkward.
She's a nice girl, a little quirky (I like that) and sheltered. She's a straight edge sort of girl, the kind you wouldn't expect to see me dating (but there've been stranger couples when it comes to my dating history). So a little history on the ways this particular girl has shut me down: there was one time when she turned me down by saying "I've been looking forward to sleeping for a while now, so I'm going to go to bed early" (where by early she meant around 10pm). I've had a fair number of rejections in my time, but that was my virginal "I'd rather sleep than hang out with you" rejection. She would later go on to shut me down on almost every occasion; at some point I was two hairs and a baby's breath shy of saying "Should I even try to ask you out anymore?"
So with a history like that, a phone call from her was, as I said before, a penny-width more than unexpected.
She called to say that I looked stressed when she saw me earlier, and just wanted to wish me good luck on my projects.
Apparently it's been one of those rare days where I slip and tumble slightly from grace and let a little of the stress that's always assailing my mind sneak out and run around. My apartmentmate noticed it too, and commented on how unlike me it was to show a sign of stress.
And so, moved by her words and her gesture of caring, I asked her if she'd want to go out for dinner on the morrow.
She promptly shut me down again.
Your attention please,
If you (or someone you know) are in need of a ride back to sunny southern California this winter break and meet the following requirements, please contact me:
* Make for interesting conversation
* Have good taste in music (it doesn't have to be the same as mine, but it can't be god awful crap...Shannon this means no songs about how big the world is)
* Willing to chip in for gas
* Don't have too much stuff (my trunk is only so big)
* Cute/pretty/etc. a plus but not necessary, distractions from the road are probably less than ideal
* Live somewhat close to me (within an hour's drive south, or somewhere on the way back)
Right now the only person going back in my car is me, so get your bid in early for a fascinating fun-filled ride back to southern California with me, where the sun is always shining and the people are always racist.
One of the students (I don't see how anyone else would have the proper context) sent me an email via the course email address (which gets forwarded to my email address). The subject was "Hot topic shirt for Randy" which looks like some weird form of advertisement spam, but being the silly gullible person I am I clicked it and opened it anyways, which brought up a link to http://www.hottopic.com/store/product.asp?LS=0&ITEM=270205
I like my students, they're fun ;)