I think everyone should have default sex

access, it should be a rule. If you go on a date and it falls through, you get to have sex anyway! Plus, you aren't thinking about: ``Fuck all this bullshit, I mean, the food is great, but my hand is surgically attached to her ass and she gives a great fo otjob under the tablecloth.'' Ummm...instead of trying to repress all the wanton horniness during the course of the date, instead of worrying about sex too soon, you've got default sex, you'll have sex anyway, so you can just concentrate on liking the oth er person. Take the sex picture out of the rest of the frame, dates are about people, not horniness, or at least they ought to be.

Of course, the only reason I'm thinking about

this is because every woman I'm interested in I don't want to have sex with, and every woman I want to have sex with (won't have anything to do with me) I'm not interested in. There's that, and then there's the fact that I've met more homosexuals who were interested in me than I've met women, period, during the last few weeks. Well, the other reason I'm probably thinking about default sex is because, when one normally comes home from blown romantic interests, they sulk, but me? I just come home and write these stupid things for all of you people who never go out in the first place and spend your time in chatrooms with guys named Norman who masquerade as ``Cottonball'' at 6969 IRC, but the Web is getting bigger and bigger every day, so I should stop insult ing my audience in lame attempts at humor. Okay, I'm done beating myself up now, I can go on.

I guess that's the ideal, anyway, that the

person you are interested in as a person, you also want to have sex with. Most people settle for being interested in them, and having sex with them because, well, they are interesting. They learn to be attracted to their `mates.' Or there is the alternate , those who have sex first and then hope the person isn't a freak. ``Oh my God, where did the redhead go?'' ``Honey, you were out like a light, mighta had a little bit too much to drink last night.'' ``Who the hell are you?'' ``Well, since you asked so politely, I'm Marie, and the redhead, Janie, left about an hour ago.'' ``...I rock!'' ``Mmmmm...I wouldn't go quite that far.'' ``Once again, who the hell are you?'' ``I think I was centerfield, a little away from the pitcher-catcher combo beneath me.'' Speaking of which, I need to be in more threesomes, and no, I don't need to be in any more love triangles. I'm too used to stabbing myself with the sharp end of them. Just remember, you can pick your friends, and you can pick your exes, but you can't pick your friends' exes.

But hell, I don't need more sex. Well, yes,
	maybe I do. I might, actually, it's been so long, I don't remember what it's like anymore, so I don't know. Well, I can say that I need more friends. Well, actually, I need a friend. No, I need another friend. No, okay, I need more friends. Well shit, if I'm saying all of this, yes, I need both more friends and more sex.

I need a firm strong woman. I need a bitchy

corporate babe with attitude. I need someone who grabs me by my collar, says: ``You. Me. Now.'' when she wraps her leg around my torso while standing on one high heel in the middle of a power lunch when everyone is watching. I need a redhead/raven/brunett e/blonde whatever, I don't care, just make sure she has immediacy. I need someone who slides one hand around my lower back, the other about my shoulder blade, presses her cleavage into a long cats eye across my chest as her deep dark eyes stare ``ravish m e.'' I need an artsy creative graceful woman who is in control but mostly out of control. Make her dynamic. Make her have feeling, make her care, make her strong. Let her be able to smile with her eyes, let her soft lips embrace mine, let lovemaking be a tumbling desperate grasping inside the other's soul, being gently passionate, aggressively so, hungry, rhythmic bodily rituals that leave the sheets on the floor afterwards. Champagne by candlelight, beer and wrestling/tickle wars, or a short drive up the hill to see the lights of the city beneath us like so many fires under our hearts, make it forever or only just tonight, let it be real. Just someone tell me I'm still alive, tell me I can be alive again, tell me I'm not alone. Let there be someone out t here.

Anyone need a default partner?
	Maybe I just need a different birdie. Maybe I should just stop thinking about it and go to sleep. Dammit, it's not working, I can't stop thinking about it. Where did I put Marie's number?