01 november, 2000: it's been a very, very, very long time since i wrote
on this page. i usually just write in the beno journal.
we'll i'd like to revamp this page completely... yes. it's
totally outdated. but, eh! i never have time to write.
it's hard 'nuf to find time to update my journal, right? ok,
well... i'll eventually try.
below, i have made some links to sites with articles which discuss asian-american culture, issues, problems, et cetera.
i do not know this guy, but after reading two of his articles, i think he has some important things to say, especially about interracial dating [note: when i was trying to re-locate his page, i typed "interracial" on yahoo and got back as search results page after page of porno sites... how pathetic.]
some topics i want to discuss on this page soon are:
...and someday i shall actually write stuff about these topics, alright?
after all society already has the notion that asians are all over the crime scene. hey, i read in the s.f. chronicle that clinton had a get-together with some asian crime boss to get some more of that good ol' dirty, asian money! movies do portray vicious triad and yakuza killers. the glamourous world of the gangstas! just like al capone... except the asian gangstas somehow can rarely do anything right in the movies and on the telly (t.v.). the italian mafia can sometimes get glorified with dignity. but asian gangs get their evil plans foiled by david carradine and his on-screen son. heck, i'm just whining again maybe...
a better point at this moment: today's s.f. chronicle published six articles in its front page section which put asians in a negative, antagonistic perspective: charles ng, chinese missiles, japanese trade war, japanese boy murderer, north koreans taking prisoners, and clinton's "chinese mob" friends. a small advert says that sunday's "datebook" section features a japanese man who makes "sexy" art. and tucked away in the editorials, tom plate, a ucla professor says "asia-bashing makes bad times worse." he makes some very good points in his article: many asian communities aren't fairing so well as we approach the "pacific age" (as people called the coming century as japanese cars invaded american in the 80s), and media coverage of the so-called "trade war" with japan, and apparently south korea, doesn't make things any easier on asian countries. well, that media coverage and all sorts of other media coverage also don't make it much better for asians in america. we just have to wait for the next vincent chin incident, right? on the save editorial page appears some cartoon once again ridiculing asian contributors to the clinton campaign.... sheesh... so are asian-americans supposed to be democrats like norm minetta or republicans like that old korean dude?
here's a quote a snagged from tanaka's homepage :
from the excellent play and film, "m. butterfly" (1994,what do i think of the taiwan / china (roc / prc) issue? i support taiwan's independence. when it comes down to nationality, i consider myself taiwanese-american and not chinese-american. though i feel the roc government, the kuomintang, took control of taiwan unfairly, i feel the people who immigrated to taiwan from the mainland since the late forties have a right in playing a part in shaping taiwan; but so do those who originated in taiwan or whose lineage goes further into the island's history. i think the people of taiwan have a different culture from the people of the mainland, not a more western culture as frank viviano eluded to in his san francisco chronicle article (june 09, 1997), but a culture created by the aborigines, the early immigrants, the japanese, and the post-1940 immigrants. so as an american-born taiwanese-american, i do not support the re-unification of "the two chinas."
though i feel i have a right as a person of taiwanese blood to have a thorough say in such matters of taiwanese politics, i definitely want to recognize the fact that i cannot limit myself to the taiwanese culture which i briefly described. even if china somehow nuked taiwan and all my relatives died, i would still remain an taiwanese-american in america. my life would not nearly change as much as those of my relatives in taiwan. (given my hypothetical situation, would you not agree?) i face different issues as a person of taiwanese descent living in america.
in this melting pot / salad bowl / soup of america, race ends up as a pretty important issue, like it or not. i acknowledge that it is not everything, but even in the diverse, open-minded bay area i feel so much racial tension and even discrimination. and ethnic communities often face problems which they must deal with in the supportive environment which can only come from within. not that they should completely seclude and segregate, but they need to spend time away, in retreat; time to work out problems in private before anything explodes and destroys any existing racial harmony. race, race, race, race, race! face it, in america it is an issue.
but do not be think so negatively. is it really so bad for one to have racial pride? why should people be forced to disrespect and deny their heritage? people should celebrate what defines their culture and heritage. because of racist u.s. laws and just world politics in general, asians did not get to really start their history in america until after most other ethnic groups. but we are developing a distinct culture, and we are doing it as asian-americans as a whole.
some say that asian pan-ethnicity comes from the way americans discriminate against the asian people as a whole, not as chinese, korean, japanese, vietnamese, et cetera. in other words, a chink is a gook is a nip is a flip is a v.c. thus some people would say that asian pan-ethnicity has been imposed upon asians by non-asian americans. perhaps it has, but asians supporting asian unity are not just doing so as slaves to their oppressors. asians know they have similar appearances to other asians of other nationalities. they know they really do have many differences in food, language, and customs; but they also know they share many similarities in all of those and in general philosophy. and in any case, asian-americans often grow-up more distant from these marks of heritage but still know they share more similar experience with other asians regardless of actual nationality. these similarities are not limited to experience with discrimination but include many distorted remnants of their individual asian cultures which just blur into one fuzzy asian-american picture. though i want to make it clear that we have more reasons to support asian pan-ethnicity than just american discrimination and ignorance, the american race issue as a reason is not insignificant. asians need to unite to gain the respect they deserve from america. other minority racial groups have made greater achievements towards this goal and pan-ethnic unity definitely helped.
a dilemma: if asians, africans, or latinos celebrate their pan-ethnic culture, america accepts it. but if caucasians do the same, its "aryan, white pride, skinhead racism." actually, caucasian-americans have a unique situation. they have been the majority race in this country for a long time and have special responsiblities because of that. unfortunately, they have made mistakes in the past with racist laws and attitudes. so they now do have the responsibility to practice special caution when dealing with racial issues and racial pride. if they were the first to conquer america and establish its government, asians would have the same responsibility. i think caucasian-americans should not deny their unique culture. i would prefer that, as with any people group, they neither belittle other ethnic cultures in america nor patronize them. i cannot say this is an easy task; you cannot easily always avoid offending someone somewhere. but i hope all americans can try their best. as for caucasian-americans, i have observed with admiration many who can celebrate their "white"-american culture without trampling on the other peoples of america. i know it is possible.
to sum up my thoughts on this topic, i wish that asian-americans would accept each other and form a stronger community which crosses the ethnic borders created by our counterparts in asia. i think this unification will greatly help asian-americans establish themselves as a subculture of this big country. [i know this is an abrupt ending, but i have yet to find time to finish this essay thingy.]
as most asian-americans, as a small child i did not have the same perceptions of race and its implications in this country. i knew my parents talked to me in taiwanese, but the television talked to me in english. some kids talked to me in taiwanese, some in english, and some in another language which i heard was called "chinese" and later heard describe as "mandarin." people who did not have physical features similar to me or my parents always spoke to me in english. those who did have these features were usually relatives or family friends and spoke to me in taiwanese as far as i could tell; but little boys do not always listen even when they should. i remember my parents laughing at the site of 4 year old me running around their friends' house talking to some little girl in taiwanese while she kept answering me in mandarin. gee, i do not remember how we got ideas across to one another but somehow we did and kept running around.
by elementary school, i already knew from pre-school that i needed to speak english more often than not. apparently, no one understood that other weird language that my parents spoke, so i started to avoid it. throughout elementary school i learned that some kids were also not caucasian, and some of these were more like me in appearance. most of these kids were either taiwanese or chinese, but some had long lasts names, and i discovered they were japanese. some of these asian students spoke as much english as me, some never spoke. i figured some were friendly, and the others were often mean since they did not want to talk. still some of the quiet ones turn out to be pretty friendly at heart but just unable to express to me all their ideas.
in middle school and the early years of high school, i stumbled across some strange revelations. during these years, my older sister had become oddly more inclined in some ways to accept my family's backward culture. she started having more asian-american friends, but she always had more asian-american friends than i did. she had friends who were chinese, taiwanese, japanese, and indian. i saw her make some distinction between her taiwanese friends and non-taiwanese asian friends, especially through her involvement in the local taiwanese youth group. through her social life and the one i was starting to mold, i learned that some of these asian students whom i thought were chinese or taiwanese turned out to be "korean" and "vietnamese." and stranger to me, some students whom i assumed were hawaiin or mexican turned out to be "filipino." when i met my sister's roommate's korean dad, i was startled by how his accent sounded more to me as if he came from an indian-like culture than a chinese-like one. i also noticed that some japanese and chinese parents spoke with no accent. the diversity amongst asian people interested me, but i still preferred to pursue a more "american" way of life.
by the end of my sophomore year, my racial environment had taken a completely unexpected turn. i was on the verge of leading the local taiwanese youth group in which my sister used to participate. i started attending a local taiwanese church. and at school, i started to eat lunch and socialized with a pan-asian clique. i noticed a difference in opinions about race. the taiwanese parents instilled upon the taiwanese youth group the idea that the group should only include children of taiwanese-speakers. but as my friends and i expanded the club, our events (especially our dance parties) attracted more and more young students (of varying asian nationalities) from our high school and the other more asian-populated schools in the south bay. the asian clique at school welcomed most asian students who lived up to their fashion and social scene but often shunned away non-asians. the taiwanese church welcomed everyone; though it started off as all taiwanese, the christian youth group started to include some koreans, japanese, mandarins, cantonese, and a few non-asians. i decided it was biblical to love all peoples but to specialize in serving those you are best fit to serve, whether it be a racial group or any other group of humans. in this whole immersion into my racial identity, i enjoyed the exchange. i liked learning about my taiwanese heritage and sharing it with other asians whom would tell me how their cultures differed in some ways but had more similarities in the end. we really loved to discuss the burdens of asian parents, a phenomenon which spanned all the ethnicities of asian-americans.
my optimism about one asian-america did not last with me through the end of high school. i realized that the taiwanese church and the taiwanese cultural youth group did not see eye to eye because of the different parents who ran each group. the church parents, in the end, did not want their children to dwell upon the race issue but realize the bigger picture, stay focused on god. though many in the cultural youth group also attended the taiwanese church, the parents who supervised the group wanted the children to not get distracted from preserving their heritage and political views. they did not want the club to become another high school asian meat market. in the midst of all this commotion, i had a private ordeal. i was dating a korean-american girl whose parents apparently did not consider a non-korean to be a proper boyfriend for her. under all this pressure, i decided that i wanted to desert the entire asian-american scene. i still participated in the youth group and church, but i wanted to separate myself in other ways. i still believed in knowing about my taiwanese heritage, but i thought this pan-asian bond was based purely on superficial traits. this led me to once again take little pride in my racial background.
i took this near-shame about my race with me to college at uc berkeley but called it open-mindedness. basically, i wanted to make a fresh start, so i avoided asian students, (though at berkeley it is truly impossible), not completely, but i honestly gave preference to meeting non-asian students. i met many nice people and shattered many preconceptions about different races; so i cannot regret my behavior in those early days of college. but trying to fit into the "american" ethnicity, i made too many sacrifices. i sacrificed what was not mine to give. not that everyone had discriminatory views about asians, but when i encountered these attitudes, i did not do what i needed to do and stand up for the asian-american people. but what should i do? what can i do? well, i guess i must learn and do some hard thinking for the next few years.