the beno journal

go to the 1st entry of 2001 in the new beno journal, 2001 edition.

this will be the last entry in this part of my journal.   the next time i log an entry, i'll be writing a new file.   well, i guess i'll write 1 more entry here to give u the url to the new file, huh?   neway, i've been so bizzy lately, n' that's why i haven't been able to log many entries.   what have i been doing?   well, i werk long days, n' then i come home n' werk hard @ trying to clean up the apt.   it's like back in the day when i'd werk all day, take a short nap, n' go to taekwondo team practices.   'twas like having 2 jobs, like living a dual life.   n' 'gain it's been like that... but well... "engineer by day, housekeeper by nite" sure doesn't sound all that exciting, does it?   frick!   *sigh* well, that's what i've been this week, these 6 days w/o the beautiful kaela kang.   'cept 4 last nite.   s.mike called me up... well... c, i stayed @ werk till 830p last nite cos i was werking hard till 'bout 630p.   then i started doing werk 4 the ucmap taekwondo snowtrip.   i spent 'lotta time on that.   then toby called me, n' we chatted 4 a bit.   k, then jeff called me.   c, s.mike called me earlier to ask me to go shopping in sf w/ him n' jeff, but i was still @ werk.   later, while i was barely leaving corte madera, aka "cm," jeff called me n' told me to meet him n' s.mike @ thai noodles on shattuck.   well, i hurried home to berkeley cos i was starving.   i went to thai noodle but didn't find them, so i called jeff.   jeff sed they were @ triple rock brewery, n' so they were.   the 2 of them n' s.mike's old housemate sabina.   so we had beer n' talked.   s.mike went off on his famous theories... u know... theories 'bout guys n' gurls, etc.   'twas fun.   n' then roland joined us, n' we went to thai noodle.   then sabina asked her friend to join us.   so there was a bunch of us.   so we were sittin' 'round, eating, talking 'bout s.mike's theories, n' then, dang... i think i c ed park's out of the corner of my eye.   then i think i c jon aytac's face... n' there was no mistaking his cos he's got that crazy beard goin' on.   wow! i ran outside, n' 'twas ed park, eric chang, n' jon aytac.   whoa!   so we stood outside of thai noodles n' talked 4 a short bit.   they were on their way to triple rock.   *sigh*   'twas so crazy to c them.

neway, i've been cleaning n' throwing out stuff all week long.   now i'm 'bout to leave to socal.   2day during lunch, i drove back to berkeley n' got my hair cut @ panache.   erin's gonna come pick me up in 'bout 15 mins.   some p. crew affiliates r going to disneyland 4 new yr's eve.   my 2nd new yr's @ disneyland in a row.   2morrow, i'll go to kaela's grandmutha's b.day party.   well, i better go... i gotta make sure i'm all packed.   *sigh*   i wish i could give u a big wrap up of the yr, like i did last yr... but what can i say in 4 mins?   well, i'll sum it all up by saying 'twas a great yr cos i got 2gether w/ kaela.   there was crap here n' there like her loser psycho exbf, not as much hanging out, apt situations, stuff like that... but how could ne of that have spoiled my happiness?

u know, these r the last days of this beno journal.   i mean, i'm gonna start a new file next month, n' prob'ly do as the beautiful kaela kang does n' start a new file every month...   i'm not sure... maybe it won't be every month...   i'm not sure yet; maybe just every yr?   or every season?   i dunno.   *sigh*   i just know that this file has gotten really huge.

well, i'm back from my christmas break.   i tried to clean up the apt last nite.   so it's pretty settled that kaela n' i will try to find an apt 2gether this semester.   my current apt is under rent control, n' 1nce i find a new place the new rent will be outrageously much more than what i pay now, i know.   true, @ this rate, mortgage'd be better than rent, but really now... i can't.   life, life, life.   kaela n' i talked 'lot 'bout future plans last nite.   boy, oh boy... we gotta plan 4 the future.   when is the future?   someday we'll be all grown up; when is that someday?   i was saying... a 17 yr old can hear 'bout / look @ a 25 yr old n' say, "when i grow up i wanna be like him/her."   but man... a 25 yr old can't look @ 'nother 25 yr old n' say the same.   we've already made some decisions in our lives where we can't go back n' redo them.   heh, but man... u gotta live w/ these choices... not just live w/ them, be proud of them, rejoice in them.   to all the other 25 yr olds, 24 yr olds, 26 yr olds... be proud of who u r n' who u will be.   n' u know what?   don't let ur parents make u feel ashamed of it... cos i know that's what parents often do.   life has 'nuff pressure as is.   neway, why am i talkin' 'bout this?   i dunno... i guess thinking 'bout the future brings anxiety... but it shouldn't; it should make us feel hopeful n' eager.   sometimes i can feel pessimistic tho', expect really bad things.   sometimes i think the economy's gonna crash.   in that case, all these dot com millionaires'll hafta sell their san josé homes 4 cheap, right?   why would i think that the economy's gonna crash?   maybe it's just that stocks r do so awfully right now.   maybe i just think that the country'll go to waste w/ a republican in the white house.   don't ppl get rich when the republicans govern.   i guess the rich get richer n' the poor get poorer under trickle down economics, right?   but am i rich or poor?   or does it matter?   i'm no wise man.

neway, this is all blabber.   so what's been going on.   kaela's been down in chino, so i don't get to c her.   we talk 'lot tho'.   she called me on her cell from her relatives' house yesterday, on christmas.   so we talked 2ice yesterday.   i spent time in san jo.   i started to realise all that san josé actually is...   *sigh* well, shoot! i dunno.   i struggle w/ this debate: is san jo like orange county, or is it something else?   i'll always have a hard time arguing that san jo isn't like orange county, n' this weekend i started to convince myself that san jo is a li'l more like orange county than i have been admitting.   it has always been so much more suburban than i've been admitting...   i lived there n' grew up there; then i went off to berkeley 4 college.   i came back, n' i sed all things had changed; butchu know? maybe so much didn't change... i just 4got what it had always been like.   i went off to college n' gained a consciousness n' awareness i hadn't had b4, n' i came back to san jo n' i saw what it really is.   but i dunno... things have changed; but more things have stayed the same than i had previously thought.

san jo is full of rich, spoiled kids.   well, what other kind of kid is there these days?   ha, just kidding... 'course there r kids out there that werk hard to get somewhere better than where they r.   but now i 'member... almaden valley didn't have so many of that kind.   no, now i 'member... 'twas full of spoiled, snotty kids... mostly white or asian.   i 'member now how those asian kids r: they try to impress their friends w/ how american they can be.   then the try to impress their friends w/ how asian they can be.   whatever they do, so much of it is just 'bout impressing their friends.   why? cos a kid wants to stand out just a li'l in this suburb full of kids.   a kid doesn't wanna be just 'nother face in that crowd.

i 'member in college, some ppl'd tell me that they liked norcal better than socal cos norcal's so much less superficial than socal, so much less image conscious.   is that really true?   n' would that necessarily a good thing neway?   as u can c, this weekend, i started to question the value of norcal.   i used to so strongly believe in norcal, in the bay area, but i started to lose faith this weekend.   i looked 'round n' realised: dang, stuff is so expensive here. yah, ppl r rich; maybe they're 2 rich.   n' stuff is really expensive.   housing's expensive.

on sun, my mom n' i went to stanfurd shopping center.   that's a nice mall.   in the sobay, the best malls r valley fair n' stanfurd, i guess.   just like valley fair does, stanfurd mall attracts a lot of asians, 'specially armani exchange.   'round a|x, u'll c lots'a rich, asian immigrants, n' lots'a poor asian immigrants trying to look rich.   i'm not saying nething negative 'bout 'bout these ppl; i'm just commenting on their existence.   we were s'pposed to eat dinner @ this grilled meat salad place called plutos, but 'twas closed.   instead we ate subpar gyros @ some gyros place on university that made me wish i was @ yiassoo.

on christmas day, we ate cantonese fud 2ice: we went to dim sum @ joy luck place, then we went to a seafud restaurant, abc seafud.   both r very popular, crowded restaurants in the silicon valley.   there r many chinese ppl here, i tell u.   we got lousy service @ abc, n' u know what?   i personally think it's cos we don't speak cantonese.   butchu know what?   every1 ought to learn a few phrases of languages to use in restaurants u frequent.   i mean, i say this especially from the perspective of an asian cos no matter where what kind of asian restaurant i go to, i'll be mistaken 4 that ethnicity; n' if i don't speak that langauge, then i'll be written off as snobby.   u know that?   i 'membered now how it felt to be in hong kong.   i felt ppl thought i was snobby cos i didn't speak cantonese to them but spoke english.   so it's good to say "thank u" etc. in the language of the server, if u can... but don't do it patronisingly!   'course this doesn't really apply to japanese restaurants much cos... well, u know... i figure most japanese americans don't expect other japanese americans to speak japanese.   but that surely isn't the case 4 chinese n' koreans.

2day is brandie barrows's b.day!   happy b.day brandie!   she reads this sometimes, so that makes her even more kewl!

well, i just sorta stuck that in there, but i should continue talkin 'bout the bay area.   so u know... i guess some things r disillusioning me, 'specially the cost of living.   butchu know?   allow me now to focus on the positives of bay area life:

1. san francisco - san francisco is a cosmopolitan city, full of artistic expression, fashion n' glamour, bright lites, colourful ppl, varied ethnic culture, interesting history, delicious n' innovative cuisine, young nitelife.   it's a place that authors write 'bout, that movies r set in...

2. intelligent, educated ppl - the bay area has great universities such as berkeley, n' well... stanfurd... n' it also has ucsf, uc hastings... n' the abundance of csu skools shows that ppl do care somewhat 'bout education, right? well... k, besides that, tho'... educated ppl come to the bay area.   yah, they come as engineers... but besides that!   educated ppl come here to fulfill other purposes 2: activism, art/literature/musik, to teach, to live...

3. fresh air, blue skies - well, this is quickly becoming less of a pt in the silicon valley, i guess... but in general, there's less smog up here than in socal.   i never get a chance to bring ppl up into the hills in the almaden valley, to the hiking trails that my dad always went to, the trails that i went to w/ cub scouts, etc.   the bay area does a better job in preserving its natural lands... not that it doesn't grow n' expand, but it has interesting natural parks that ppl do go to... n' we're close 'nuff to tahoe.   that's very important cos tahoe snow is good quality snow.

well, i dunno the pt of that list.   i 'member back when eric chang n' toby'd argue 'bout what's better norcal or socal... n' they're 'both socalers... toby's from san diego, n' eric's from arcadia.   eric likes his in-n-out burgers n' hot socal women, n' toby likes how it's "less superficial" n' less hectic up here.   man, but really... i think we came to this conclusion b4, n' it's true... the only real truth here is that central cali4nia sucks! ha ha ha.   i think that's the conclusion that closed the debate.   why not blow up central cali4nia n' drag socal up to norcal?   they really need to make a bullet train btwn norcal n' socal.   well, my sister n' steve used to live in san luis obispo; that's central cali4nia, but it's long the coast.   it's a beautiful coast.   we shouldn't sacrifice that.   can't all of cali4nia just love 1 'nother?   show that cali4nia love!   give it up, give it up!!!   shake it, cali!   shake it, cali!   just think of phil... he 1nce lived in socal, then he came up to norcal, n' now he's in oregon... well, right now he's in irvine.   i think he likes norcal better, but i think he thinks that san jo is just like orange cty.   *sigh*   from the way s.mike talks of virginia... i'm just glad we don't live there...

i'd never gone out w/ a socal gurl b4 kaela, u know.   the women of my past were bay area women.   i guess socal women r just so much hotter, like eric sed.   well, if we're gonna talk 'bout that, then we're sorta talking 'bout gender issues, n' lemme talk 'bout this: sometimes i feel, in socal, guys gotta put on more of a macho act.   u know, norcal guys r a bunch'a sensitive saps, all fruity n' all, right?   ha ha.   well, i dunno... i don't think that's true...   in san jo, guys gotta do that macho act 2 sometimes.   n' well, shoot... it's not like the bay area doesn't have places like urban oakland, richmond, n' east pally, tuff neighbourhoods.   but it's also just got its share of "berkeley telegraph street fair let's go hug an elephant seal pledge a donation 4 kqed n' love 1 'nother" feel... n' yah, i guess ppl don't think that's what tuff guys do...   but tuff guys know that's what tuff guys do.

man, now wasn't this ptless?

so last nite, i brought phil home in my car, home to san jo; n' the beautiful kaela kang followed us.   in my car, to get that christmas mood, we played the jewel christmas cd that grace n' steve gave me 4 christmas last yr.   we got home, n' all 6 of us ate hot pot.   then we did the christmas thing.   yah, we did the christmas thing already, exchanged presents, opened presents already on fri nite.   my mom gave me some undershirts n' a long sleeve polo that i can wear to werk.   grace n' steve gave me a wool sweater n' some body butter 4 my dry skin.   my sister baked lots'a stuff.   i saw that grace n' steve painted my room.   i fell asleep watching tv.

2day, kaela n' phil left 4 socal.   i won't c kaela 'gain till fri nite!   nuts.   well, i went running in the park this afternoon.   i felt out of shape.   but i got to keep it realistic...   i'm not that out of shape, i just gotta get back into the swing of things.   the 1st werkout after a long break'll always feel tuff.   i ran 3 miles; i ran to the lake, looked @ ducks, geese, n' coots, n' ran back.   i saw some very beautiful ducks.   they have lots'a mallards, but also some brown headed n' black headed 1s.   i'm glad i went 4 that jog.   now that i've opened all my presents, what should i do 'bout christmas?   well, i know i actually have a coupl'a presents that i didn't get yet, n' there's 1 that kaela n' i were s'pposed to give out, n' i can think of 'nother that i still haft'a give out...   so christmas isn't quite over.   should i go shopping?   but it'll be so crowded.

[later] i went to blockbuster to rent some horror movies: the cell n' mission to mars.   i figure kaela won't be watching w/ me 2nite, so i might as well rent horror movies.   i had an expired 241 coupon.   i gave the coupon to the cashier neway.   she told me 'twas expired.   i sed, "oh, really? shoot. oh well... i just found the coupon on my mom's fridge, so i figured i might as well use it."   then she sed, "hold on," n' she took this card from her drawer n' scanned it, n' i got 241.   sometimes, u know, cashiers will give u a discount if u try, u know?   it's just like this other time when we ordered a round table pizza @ ken's store, n' i picked it up n' brought this coupon that ken gave me.   i saw that it was expired, but i tried it neway.   the cashier let me have the discount.   these r such common coupons neway, 1s that come out every week.

i'm sitting here @ my office 'puter really, absolutely frustrated 'bout a problem; but it's not something i wanna talk 'bout here, n' i don't even want ppl to ask me 'bout it.   it's the kind of thing that just really puts a damper on ur day, u know?   i don't like thinking life's a dead end.   i really don't like to deal w/ pessimism n' pessimistic thinking.   i like to have hope, to hope, to believe that things can get better.   pessimism is dangerously contagious.   foul moods r infectious.

well, i don't want to bog u down 'bout crap i won't even talk 'bout.   shake dog shake.   i'll shake off all these bad feelings.   i feel like they're fleas or something on me, n' i'm a dog, n' if i shake hard 'nuff, i'll shake them off.

so yes, 4 our 11th monthversary, i took the beautiful kaela kang to fringale in sf.   when i got to the restaurant, i was worried i came to a really snooty place.   the pregnant hostess was a li'l rushed.   the restaurant was full of older yuppies, which is funny to say cos yuppy is s'pposed to mean young urban professional, but these ppl weren't really young, just urban n' professional.   n' then there was us.   neway, it turned out to be a great dining experience.   our waiter was definitely a humble n' polite guy, but knowledgeable.   that's how a server should be.   we had quail, crab salad, mussels, salmon, coffee parfait, mango/orange sorbet, latte, n' a good gerwürztraminer wine.   the waiter gave us free truffles w/ a candle 4 our anniversary.   'twas really thoughtful of him n' above his responsibilities, u know?   that's good service.   kaela opened her christmas present: a handspring visor deluxe.   kaela, as an anniversary present, gave me a sharper image back massager.   it's really good.   she also gave me a voucher 4 a parrotlet, when we find a new place to live.   she also gave me some snowmen peeps.   we went to j.town n' neoprinted n' took pics w/ my elph.

yesterday was thurs.   'twas my office holiday lunch.   we went to our boss's house.   i drove a carload.   i don't interact w/ my cowerkers 'nuff, i know.   after the party, we had the rest of the day off as a company holiday.   i was so tired.   i sleepily drove home.   i packed up a whole bunch of clothes n' stereo equipment n' brought it to the salvation army to donate it.   i think i gave 'way some good stuff.   some stuff, it cmed like a shame to give away 4 free, but u know... it wouldn't be a donation if it weren't worth something, u know?   it's better to think 'bout how these useful things can do 4 some1 else.   it's good to donate.   it's important to donate good stuff not just trash.   i guess, if i really try hard, i can sell lots'a used stuff on ebay or something, but why go thru so much bother 4 a few dollars, when a big charity organisation knows how to do it more efficiently n' 'll appreciate it, u know?   well, after the salvation army, i came home n' cleaned up the place.   we're trying to fit more of kaela's stuff in my closets.   she's officially moving out of albany.   josh'll be all pissy if we have her stuff in the living room, but he can't complain 'bout what i have in my closets, u know?   it's good to donate stuff.   kaela warmed up some dwaejimuhri n' cooked some baechu.   we ate a small dinner, n' then we went over to darlene's to pass out presents.   brandie, laura, joon, darlene, deanna, n' mikey were there.   then i drove us all out to jack london cinemas to watch what women want.   jefflyn n' supermike joined us there.   the movie theatre was far from crowded on this winter weeknite.   it was a pretty funny movie, discussing gender/sex/relationship issues.   'twasn't a really deep movie, just a funny flick.

well, 2nite, san jo.   the plan is that after werk, i'll swing by berkeley n' albany, put some of her stuff in my car, pick up our stuff to go home...   phil'll come w/ us to san jo 2nite.   then 2morrow morning, kaela'll drive phil down to socal from san jo.   i'll stay up here.

[now it's the 19th.   i usually don't do this, split a journal entry over 2 days, but i gotta in this case...] so thurs nite, i was thinking of going to taekwondo werkout.   i left werk, n' i was so hungry.   instead of werking out, i sorta did the opposite, n' the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to hotboxcity to eat a buncha meat, seafud, n' sushi. ... [beno interrupts this journal entry to talk 'bout other junk...] whoa! i just won a quantum atlas 10k 36.4 gb ultra 160 hard drive on y! auctions.   whoa!   i got it 4 'bout the price of a 18 gb drive... whoa...   i was pretty shocked!   'gain i had a bidding war like that ebay time, but this time i won.   whoa! dang, this is so much cheaper than buying it retail... 'course it's a li'l used, but it's still so cheap!   whoa... [k, beno returns u to ur regularly scheduled broadcasting.] 'twas my 1st time @ hot pot w/ kaela.   we tried tea eggs, which neither of us had ever had.   kaela had finished her public health finals on thurs, 2 of them in 1 day.   now all she had left was her spanish final.   on fri, during my lunchbreak, i met kaela in albany n' we ate @ tsing tao on solano.   that nite, we were s'pposed to go clubbing @ k2@s.factory.   we were running kind'a late, so the other ppl in our party sed they'd go 'head w/o us.   @ that pt. we just figured we'd do something else.   we were all dressed up, so i took kaela to skates on the bay 4 cockatiels... no, cocktails! n' appetizers.   it's really fun to do this stuff, i think... like the time @ the metreon's montage.   it feels nice to be w/ a beautiful gurl in a dimly lit room.   it feels groovy.   afterwards, 'twas 2 late to go o...

[now it's the 20th.]   as u can c, life is sorta bizzy.   i guess if i life is bizzy, u don't have time to report on it...   neway... lemme continue to try to catch up w/ life: sat... well, s.mike came in!   i picked him up from sfo 'round 1120a.   his flight came in early.   altho' jefflyn sed they'd put him up 4 his visit, he wanted to check into the nicest hotel in emeryville 4 a weekend, so that he could werk on some werk stuff in private in a nice place.   he had made reservations @ 4 pts.   i showed him courtyard, but 'tisn't open yet.   i brought him to the woodfin suites hotel.   wow, it's nice.   the service was very polite, i mean kissbutt polite.   the concierge andré sed he'd do nething 4 s.mike, n' s.mike believed he's gay.   kaela drove out to emeryville to join us.   we called jefflyn earlier, n' jefflyn, andy, roland, n' peter chung (jeff's ex.roomie) came out to emeryville.   s.mike treated us out to lunch @ hk east ocean.   i was starving; the fud was great.   after our long lunch, kaela n' i hung out w/ s.mike in his suite.   he was s'pposed to werk.   kaela studied, but then i drove s.mike out to berkeley to pick up darlene.   jason had called earlier to give his sales pitch on 2by2.net, n' tried to get me to go to the 2by2.net seminar.   darlene was going.   they're all involved w/ that, along w/ sam lee.   i wanted to support jason, but i didn't wanna go to a seminar 4 some program i had no interest in joining.   i already have sponsor links 4 my webpage, n' i didn't hafta pay $250 4 them.   here r jason's n' sam's 2by2.net pages, in case u wanted to c them.   after jason picked up darlene, since s.mike wasn't going to get ne werk done n' was just watching cable, we went downstairs n' borrowed my life as a dog from the hotel's complimentary video library.   'twas a dubbed version.   i don't like dubbed versions, but i realised that if it had subtitles, i dunno if it'd've kept s.mike's attention as well.   he loved the movie.   i strongly encourage all of u to watch it.   my dad brought me to camera 3, the sj arthouse theatre, to watch it a long time 'go.   it's a great swedish movie 'bout a horny li'l boy.   we didn't finish watching it when jefflyn n' andy showed up.   we all crammed into my forester n' drove off to ebisu.   sushi n' dimsum in 1 day?   what kind of hedonistic gluttons r we?!   jeff ordered a small bottle of hot sake, n' s.mike got sorta drunk off of just 2 shots, if that's what u call those li'l glasses.   whoa!   1 of the specialty rolls kaela n' i shared was called june 29.   i asked the waitress why 'twas called that, but she sed she'd tell me later.   then she told me 'tis called "june 29" cos the guy who invented it was named jun.   but then why the 29?   later i asked, then she sed the guy's b.day is june 29.   huh?!   so the guy's name is jun n' his b.day is june 29?   hrm... ok.   neway, 'twas all good sushi.

sun, i got up early n' drove out to emeryville to join s.mike as his guest @ woodfin suites hotel's complimentary breakfast buffet.   jefflyn, roland, andy, n' peter joined 2.   they were planning to go wall climbing.   the breakfast was great.   then i drove s.mike out to oakland chinatown where he had to use the atm n' buy a boba tea.   i wanted to go to the lucky goldfish to look @ the parrotlet.   oh, i didn't mention...   kaela told me on fri that she wanted to get me a parrotlet (n' cage) 4 christmas.   but i told her it wouldn't be a good idea cos of the josh apt. situation... but i definitely would want it later.   *sigh* it's 2 bad i can't have it now...   neway, i dropped s.mike back off @ his hotel n' went home.   later s.mike called me to ask us to come to emeryville to meet up w/ laura n' him @ the public market fud ct.   we went n' met up w/ s.mike, brandie, laura, n' joon.   i was to go to master yoon's house 4 a taekwondo mtg @ 730p, but sam called n' told me 'twas pushed back till 800p.   i wasn't sure if 'twas a dinner thing or what, so i ate a li'l snack, samosas.   i rushed out of there, picked up sam, n' hurried over to hayward.   jason, linda, kevin, sam, n' i went to master yoon's house.   we met his wife n' sons.   master yoon showed us his collection of martial arts awards n' memorabilia.   wow, 'twas like a museum!   he's got a very nice house n' family.   his wife cooked us a huge dinner: bulgogi, japchae, etc.   we discussed lots'a ucmap taekwondo bizness.

mon, whoa... finally catchin' up... sorta.   mon, kaela had her spansih final, then she came out to berkeley, n' we had lunch in san rafael @ korea house, which we bychance discovered.   'tis a so.so korean restaurant that apparently has a consistent group of non.korean regular clients.   we had haemuljjigae n' maewoondalk, but the meal wasn't nething really special. 'twas just surprising to c a korean bizness in marin cty that wasn't a dry cleaners or sorabol.   kaela cooked dinner that nite, but i didn't like the batch of rice i made.   'twas 2 hard/dry.   w/ my fuzzy cooker, i always ought to put in extra h2o.   we watched tv n' i cleaned out my room.   i'm going to donate tons of old clothes.   i really gotta get rid of junk here...

tues, we had a pizza party @ my werk 4 a departing programmer.   he was the 1st guy to greet me on my 1st day @ werk.   he 1nce offered to give me 2 parakeets that he couldn't take care of nemore.   maybe i should've taken them.   tues was last nite, huh?   whoa.   last nite, kaela cooked haemuljjigae, shiitake mushrooms, n' pangrilled fish.   joon, roland, n' laura came over to eat.   roland brought some see's candies.   then phil came over.   yup, phil's in town!   u know... kaela's really taking care of a lot these days.   i really appreciate it.

2day is kaela n' beno's 11th monthversary! ... [later] kaela came to cm, n' we went to the mall.   we ate crepes 4 lunch.

so after trying 4 that hard drive on ebay, i left the public health lounge w/ the beautiful kaela kang.   she bought me dinner @ 168; yummy stuff.   the power was out in my apt bldg.   i drove, trying to find a place 4 kaela to study.   'twas raining.   she studied in my car, parked @ the west entrance to campus.   then we tried to go back to my apt.   the outside n' hallway lights werked, but the individual units still didn't have power.   we had to light candles.

last nite, when i was in the car, i read a daily cal.   i read an article 'bout black frats n' sororities, 'nother on a "whitewashed" asian gurl in an asian sorority, an article on the quality of tap water, n' ryan sim's column.   now there's some topics!   i c that the daily cal saved its best pieces 4 the end of the semester.   maybe they're trying to win some collegiate journalism prize.   i don't think the daily cal is all that up there relative to other collegiate papers.   neway, some interesting topics: yes, the ethnic greek system subject, very intersting.   tap h2o quality, definitely a topic 4 ex.ebmud engineer beno.   n' the column?   well, 'twas just interesting to read... it's like this guy has his own web journal, but his gets printed n' distributed in the daily cal, just like when phil had his own column there...   ah, if only i could share w/ u those days when phil had a daily cal column...   maybe u can click to read: "stranger than fiction" (08.09.96), "a question of trust" (07.26.96), "independent's day" (07.05.96) "the new college try" (06.21.96), or "the metaphorical truth" (06.07.96).   now that's how a column should be!   u kids these days don't know nuthin' 'bout writing columns!   ha ha, just kidding... butchu know?   it's weird to think that was 1996... man, that's not so recent, huh?

i'm sitting in the public health skool lounge to the right of the beautiful kaela kang, on a 'puter, waiting to bid on ebay.   wow, this is semi.exciting.   i gotta get this hard drive, 16 mins to go.   so... whatsup?   last nite, i went to practice.   i practiced lots'a basics.   i gotta bone up on basics since i'll be teaching next semester.   n' bone i will!   that was in last nite's lord of the flies simpsons.   dooduhdoo...   i'm letting the clock wind down: 14m55s.   neway, after practice, since i couldn't get ahold of kaela, i went w/ laura to buy groceries to take over to albany, so she, brandie, kaela, n' i could eat.   we bought fud from solano safeway; we had chips n' salsa, a chicken n' safeway japanese veggies stirfry... 'twas a random assortment.   brandie warmed up a baby frozen pizza. 12m.

so didju go out n' buy the nudist on the late shift n' read the whole thing yet?   when u do, tell me all 'bout it, since i don't read much.   i'm very interested tho'.   almost 5m!   awright! i'm the current high bidder!   yah!   just gotta wait it out now... uh oh! bidding war! dang! i lost it @ the last sec!   stoopid win2k pull down menus w/ their stoopid delay!   argh!   oh well... i'll just hafta buy from ted via ken.   who knows, maybe i'll get it cheaper from him; but ted's not a really nice guy, u know? hrm...   ok, well, it's time to eat, now that this is over.   man, ebay's such a waste of time!   hrm... why play the bid to the last second game?   i think maybe it's worth doing auctions if u just bid a reasonable price n' wait to c if u won, instead of bidding till the last second.

i've never mentioned how much peanut butter i've been eating lately, huh?   yah, lots.   i keep a jar of peanut butter in my office desk, n' i eat peanut butter sandwiches now n' then.   sometimes it's my lunch; sometimes it's my breakfast; sometimes it's my late afternoon snack.   i've been eating lots'a peanut butter.   i always used to avoid peanut butter like crazy cos i thought 'twas unhealthy, but a while 'go men's fitness magazine discussed how it's sometimes not so bad, n' it has protein.   i bought low.fat peanut butter, 'course.

last nite there was a power failure in my building.   i guess there were numerous power failures 'round berkeley... 'round the state, 'ccording to the news.   yah, there's this electricity shortage in cali.   neway, i was hoping to go to the rsf last nite, but i didn't, altho' the rsf had power.   since the beautiful kaela kang couldn't study in the dark, i took her out to get fud n' study.   we ate @ party sushi, which has these masks on the walls as decorations.   ppl describe the masks as "disturbing."   yah, they can be.   then we went to borders in emeryville, where kaela studied, n' i just sat 'round.   i guess i could'a done some christmas shopping, huh?   man, what's gonna happen?   sometimes i'm such a lousy christmas shopper! *sigh*

as i mentioned yesterday, i'm trying to save money here n' there.   i know i spend 2 much.   i "live above [my] means," as ed park'd say.   i gotta cut back spending.   hrm...   but @ the same time i'm trying to do christmas shopping.   so i'm, like, shopping 'round, trying to find good prices on stuff, but then i'm just plain shopping more, so i'm more likely to buy stuff i don't need to buy, u know?   geez.   young ppl do know how to waste money, huh?   i was reading a li'l of the nudist on the late shift: and other true tales of silicon valley while @ borders.   'tis an interestig book, n' u might wanna check it out.   'tis by po bronson, n' published by random house.   it's 'pparently very popular n' a best seller, so maybe u've heard of it, since u prob'ly read more books than i do.   neway, it talks 'bout life/lifestyles in the silicon valley, 'bout famous silicon valley technocelebrities...   *sigh* it's funny, cos i don't really live the silicon valley life, but i am a bay area engineer.   i live in berkeley n' werk in marin cty, so well... hrm... just how much do i relate?   the book talks 'bout how wanted engieers r in silicon valley.   yah, maybe.   i c job postings all the time 4 positions in silicon valley, but i don't wanna werk in silicon valley.   i like visiting the sobay, but *sigh* i don't wanna commute down 237 or up 101 every morn!   plus, kaela's still in grad skool n' all...   yah, that book really emphasized how much engineers r wanted in the valley... hrm... sorta made me think 'bout my career path.   the book also brought up a great point, that money isn't respected in the silicon valley... hrm... well... that's not quite it... it's like ppl throw it 'round cos they don't know how to spend it.   it sed something 'bout ppl w/ distastefully unfashionable furniture... n' then the author gives this explanation... let's say ur office had a football betting pool, n' u got a free ticket to bet.   well, let's say u don't know much 'bout football n' don't even like it, so u just check off a bunch of random teams...   is it that u have poor judgement?   no! it's just that u don't care!   so the author's saying that money isn't spend gaudily cos ppl have bad taste, but cos it comes so easily.   but then... money itself isn't respected... ppl w/ lots'a money rn't respected.   something like that.   it's a really interesting book.

i can sorta relate to that pt 'bout money.   i c it in ppl 'round me n' maybe i c it in myself... like, u don't want to be this rich ba$tard that is all greedy n' hordes money... (money = evil.)   but then u have a job, n' they pay u money... so what do u do w/ it?   yah, so u got this temptation just to dump it all somewhere, spend recklessly.   it's sort've a spiritual cleansing... ha ha.   *sigh*   but seriously! i think ppl of my generation, (whatever that may be), can be like that...

well, so me, i'm trying to c where i can pinch a penny here n' there... no, i'm not trying to turn into a scrooge or even make a big deal 'bout it, but it's 'bout time i took a step back n' re.evaluated my budget.   i'll tell u, i've definitely tried not to spend money @ lunch, since i know we've been eating out @ nite so much these days.   *sigh* but it's like s.mike sed back when he was here: if u get paid so much per hour as an engineer, is it more worth ur time to cook or to let some1 else (whom u've paid) spend their time cooking 4 u?   eh! but i never agreed s.mike on that issue.   that's not the right way to think, i figured.   u don't subtract the time spent cooking from the hours u'r paid to be an engineer; u subtract them from the hours that u'r not paid, ur free hrs.   *sigh* but those free hrs cm so precious sometimes...   yah, sometimes cooking, setting up the meal, planning the meal, n' cleaning up can be so stressful, especially w/ my apt situation... *sigh* so i dunno.

well, i hope i wrotechu an acceptable journal entry.   this cms to be just 'bout what i figure i want my typical journal entries to be like... i talk 'bout my life, i talk 'bout something i heard/read, i talk 'bout other ppl's perspectives, i talk 'bout my opinions on other ppl's perspectives... n' i let u know what's up in my life.   i figure that's 'bout right.   i dunno; what'chu think?

it's not officially winter yet.   it is, however, officially jerome's 21st b.day, so happy b.day jerome.   ha ha.   we had fun @ the party on sat, n' 'twas kewl of him n' micah to put it 2gether.   well, yesterday, was cold.   2day is cold n' rainy.   yesterday, i took the beautiful kaela kang to christmas in the park in san jo.   'twas fun.   well, actually, we just coincidentally ended up @ christmas in the park.   we went to san jo to do some other things.   we were waitig 4 ken.   we ate an early dinner @ point, the korean place on el camino.   actually, we were trying to go to a soondae restaurant, but 'twasn't open.   then we drove 'round n' found christmas in the park.   'twas kewl, lots'a stuffed bears n' christmas trees.   i hope the stuffed bears do ok in the rain.   'twas good to c ken.   i'm thinking: how can i save money here n' there?

so jerome n' micah's party was kewl!   we started @ micah's place.   it started to really fill up.   but i wanted to mingle n' stuff, so i threw on the old benomix2 wintermusik.   i was just 'bout the get back to live djing when the cops came n' gave us our "official warning."   then a taekwondo student volunteered a room @ the american baptist seminary of the west 4 the party.   we moved the whole party over there.   it's right 'cross from my place.   micah lives a block 'way from me.   it was so easy to move stuff.   so we set the party back up, n' i deejayed.   i was saving good songs 4 later, but then some1 affiliated w/ the seminary came n' shut us down.   oh well, we tried.   the party actually went on 4 quite a while.   'twas really fun.   the beautiful kaela kang was very beautiful in her outfit, n' she had that shiny maroon jacket that her aunt gave her.   i like!   n' 'twas a b.day party 4 jerome, so we gave him his vcr b.day present.   i hope he likes it.

my g.book was messed up 4 a while.   it's still not what i want it to be, but i temporarily fixed it.   the htmlgear ppl r now limiting what their users can do, i guess; they dumbed down their g.books quite a bit.   it sucks.   i'll look 4 a new place to have my g.book, but till then this is it.   don't be afraid to sign it; i don't insult all my g.book visitors, just that 1 particular loser... whatever!   neway, i guess i'm deejaying jerome n' micah's big taekwondo party 2nite.   yah, it should be a fun party.   i told jerome tho', we can expect it to get shut down by cops.   almost all the house parties i djed in berkeley got shut down by cops.   old ppl who live nearby always call the cops 'bout noise.   they never understand this is a college town.   but then 'gain, it's finals time now, so even some young'uns might call the cops on the party.   who knows.   'course werk's been bizzy.   last nite, the beautiful kaela kang cooked us kkorikomtang.   i found the recipe on korean yahoo!   it was a good dinner.   then i got to burning some of kaela's napster mp3s to cd.   i ate lunch 2day @ dave's tacqueria w/ my cowerker chris.   [later] k, this journal entry isn't really going newhere, so i'll just leave it @ this.

i'm s'pposed to deejay this big taekwondo party 2morrow nite that jerome n' micah r putting 2gether.   hrm... i hope ppl don't mind if i just sort'a play it chill n' just play whatever i want cos i'm not totally ready to deejay, but i'm gonna do it.   i mean, i'm not totally up to cater to a party as if i were deejay 4 "customers," but i don't mind deejayig 4 friends, playing whatever i got.   i'm thinking of actually buying some cds 2nite.   u know, lately i've been mostly dling mp3s, n' only buying a korean cd now n' then from angelpop.   i guess that's what the recording industry is afraid to hear, huh?   man, but look @ me, i've given the recording industry more than my fair share of money in my days!   frick, have u cn how many cds i've wasted money on in my yrs as a deejay?   really, tho', i'm all 4 napster, mp3s, n' free internet distribution of mp3s.   'merica's got 2 much legal this, legal that, n' ppl r 2 lazy to find better ways to make a living...   well, hrm... is that what i really mean?   well, 'tis like this: a "recording artist," (which is not the same as an actual musician) needs to make a recorded product that is marketable... like the whole package!   i mean, if an album is such a good collection of music n' is a good product overall... has a good album cover, this n' that... then of course, i'll buy it instead of downloading it from the net.   but if a recording artist tries to get by by just having 1 good song, then yah, i'd rather dl his/her 1 song from the net.   in my time, i have bought tons of cd5s, or "maxi.singles" as u may say.   as a dj that uses cds, i'll say that these r very useful to me: i can reach 4 a cd n' have exactly the song i want n' my choice of mixes 4 that song.

i'm trying to plan this ucmap taekwondo snowtrip.   it's s'pposed to be big.   i'm considering it a trip to share snowboarding w/ all sorts'a taekwondo friends who have never gone snowboarding b4.   it's not gonna be a real hardcore snowboarding trip 4 me, i guess... i know jefflyn don't like the idea of boreal cos it's not this hardcore downhill resort... but u know, i'm gonna be relieved to get back to park/pipe riding after all the downhill i did last season.   i'm a freestyle boarder, not a freerider!   but i guess i got a good taste of downhill speed riding, 'specially w/ dave.   so, in the end, if we go to boreal, maybe this will be a hardcore snowboarding trip 4 me.   like, actually riding the park is often better 4 beno... like, i can't bring beginner friends down some steep cliff of a run! but i can sorta let semi.beginners ride w/ me in the park @ boreal, as long as they don't hurt themselves... u know?   well, i guess it depends on which park n' how they made it this yr.   i do want to be able to spend some time this season improving my own snowboarding skills.

yesterday, i got my tornado.   ken n' nelson used to praise tornados, but now they say that they don't do 2 much unless u have some monster truck or something... like i guess it werks better w/ big engines... as in big volume engines.   that would make plenty of sense.   i got a 2.5l under my hood.   i got my oil changed; i dropped my car off @ albany ford subaru.   then kaela drove us to walnut creek, where she did some christmas shopping @ broadway plaza.   she bought some cute stuff 4 her pregnant supervisor's soon.to.be kids @ gymboree.   that store sure has cute stuff.   we went to the ghiradelli store there.   it's an express version of ghiradelli sq, i guess.   we ate @ cpk, cali4nia pizza kitchen.   we had shrimp spring rolls, a white balsamic provencal salad, n' a tandoori chicken pizza.   the pizza was good w/ the chalula hot sauce.   i was worried the mexican flavour wouldn't mix w/ the indian flavour, but actually the sauce made the pizza taste more indian, imho.   well, after dinner, we picked up my car n' went home.   then i installed my tornado.   the nite b4, i werked on my 'puter; late nite, i werked on my car...   always something to do, huh?

[slightly later] oh, i 4got to metion!   yesterday nite, ken showed me how to do text messaging 4 verizon cellfons!!!!   go to http://www.app.airtouch.com/text_messaging/gca.html.   a'ight; have fun!

[quite a bit later] kaela came n' had lunch w/ me in corte madera.   she took me out to lunch!   it was a late n' rushed lunch.   she's going to make kkorikomtang, oxtail soup, 2nite.

so i've been thinkin' 'bout getting all the netwerk stuff 4 my 'puter n' that of the beautiful kaela kang.   i mean, if we're gonna have 2 'puters in the same room, might as well netwerk 'em, right?   i spent last nite trying to hook up my u160 scsi card.   my old hd didn't cm to want to cooperate 2 well w/ it tho'.   i ended up switching back to my old scsi card.   i guess when ken gives me my new hd n' when my new plextor cd reader comes in, i'll need to use the u160 card, so i'll hook it up then.   'least i tried it out n' am a li'l familiar w/ the bios n' stuff like that.   heh, man... look @ me spewing all this technogarbage!   frick.   *sigh*   no, i'm a simple guy who lives in a handbuilt log cabin by the lake!

last nite, kaela n' i ate jjajangmyuhn @ yeitnal jjajang, a good simple meal.   then i played w/ my 'puter stuff.   i was s'pposed to go to werkout last nite!   nuts.   i woke up this morning n' my ankle was so sore.   i dunno why.   i haven't werked out since last week.   i wore an ankle brace 2day.   i had a dream this morning that i was skateboarding in san jose.   i was riding down camden ave. by the almaden library.   there was this fud stand thingy, like a roach coach.   it had a shelf w/ condiments.   i did a ollie backside 270 mute tailplant on the shelf then jumped back to the sidewalk.   the guy werking @ the fud stand like it so much he gave me free fud... i 4get what.   i guess i was younger in the dream, a kid.   2 other kids started picking on me, n' we got into a fight.   violent dream!   many taekwondo friends have told me they have had violent dreams n' woke up kicking.   i've had those.   man, skateboarding n' taekwondo fighting... no wonder i woke up w/ a sore ankle.

i'm gonna drop my car off 4 an oil change n' go christmas shopping w/ kaela.   offline christmas shopping!

i'd really like to get back to posting dine.com reviews.   i still gotta do xanadu, allegrias... n' a whole bunch'a other places.   i haven't been to san jo in a long time.   i e.mailed ken yesterday, but he hasn't replied.   i really need to know if he's got my hard drive yet.   well, i also really need that hard drive.   yesterday, i reinstalled win2k on my 'puter.   oh, n' i moved the beautiful kaela kang's monitor into my room n' hooked up my 'puter.   so now her 'puters totally not in the kitchen, so well... tsss... that whole josh mess...   neway...   i was thinking this weekend, what do i want 4 christmas?   well, since kaela asked me.   but i really can't think of many material things...   i'm relatively content w/ life, right?   i mean, lately i get stressed 'bout this n' that... kaela's finals get me stressed; she's stressed.   but i try to have us both just focus hard on her cute, fuzzy, black mittens from old navy, n' all our troubles disappear, u know?   the only thing i can think of wanting is a nice, new place to live.   but that's not really something i can get.   i was always hoping that the next place i move into'd be a place i bought.   hrm...   well, we'll c if i can hold out that long.   @ dinner last nite, jeff cmed confident that i had 'nuff money to put down a down payment on a place, based upon dave's deal w/ his condo.   linda also bought a condo; i wonder how much she paid 4 hers.   but they both live 2 far south or southeast 4 what i'd want, i think.

yesterday, after i picked up kaela, we were s'pposed to go move her car in albany.   we saw jefflyn n' roland in the thai noodle restaurant, n' they saw us n' called us up n' invited us to join them.   of course!   we joined them, n' i had some sorta bland thai soup noodles w/ pigmeat n' fishcake n' fishballs.   the soup noodles were sort'a bland but the company n' conversation were just right.   it was good to c jefflyn n' roland n' dine w/ them.   we loitered 4 a long time.   then kaela n' i took roland home n' checked out his apt.

i 4got to mention that i'm going to be teaching the white belt taekwondo class next semester, huh?   of course, check out ucmap.org 4 the details in enrolling in the class!   it's good timing cos my 1 of my 1st students rosalie just tested 4 her 1st dan black belt.   so it's time 4 me to start raising a whole new generation, right?   ha ha.   ha ha.   well, the class is tu/th 730-900p in the rsf.   yah, come join!   it's 'bout time i taught 'gain.   it's good 4 me to 1) werk on basics n' 2) werk on teaching skills.   every1 should be a teacher of something sometime in life.   i guess i'll look 4 a big boombox like supermike's, so i can have musik in class now n' then.

dang, man... i was typing out this journal entry, got pretty far; then ocf frickin' crashed n' lost it...   dang...   neway, i'll try to type it 'gain.   so... uh... shoot... u know how hard it is to retype something that got lost on the net!   neway, 'tis sun morning 'right now, but now it's sun noon...   man, well, that part got messed up now.   well, it's been a full weekend, a fun weekend so far.   n' i guess i have my possibilities of what i can do: i can just relax, i can go down to milpitas to pick up my hard drive from ken, i can clean up this place, i can go christmas shopping... but i can't practice taekwondo this afternoon cos the hapkido club is having their promotional tests, as we hads ours yesterday.

well, the weekend started out on fri, as weekends tend to do.   i werked a full day's werk.  ppl had no particular plans 4 the nite.   some ppl went to the rsf either to help linda n' jason practice 4 the pan.am games, or to help students get ready 4 the promotional tests, or else just to practice cos they themselves had a promotional test.   well, i drove back to berkeley from werk, picked up the beautiful kaela kang from starbucks, went to any mtn. to pick up my snowboard that i had dropped off there 4 base repairs.   we saw jefflyn drive by n' park.   i knew they must'a gone to eat @ kirala.   i knew that would'a been a good option 4 us 2, if only we already had a spot on the always long waiting list.   yesterday, i found out a li'l secret from jeff, n' i guess i'll hook y'all up: u can actually call in a li'l in advance to putchurself on the list.   as far as i know, u still can't make reservations, but this is good 'nuff since every1 knows that kirala's the best japanese restaurant in the east bay.   n' if only ebisu wasn't 'round, ppl'd say that kirala's the best japanese restaurant in the whole bay area, as i do.   but then 'gain, i still gotta give ebisu a 2nd shot n' just order sushi.   n' there's also that posh posh sushi place in downtown sf that i'll someday try, i guess.   we'll c.   neway, we drove home to drop off my snowboard, n' the whole time we were waiting to get fon calls from ppl.   we were hungry.   kaela suggested nepalese fud.   since i knew we needed to drive down solano to drop off her rent check, i figured kathmandu'd be the choice.   but then 'twas really crowded; n' neway, i wanted to get out of this 2 horse town n' go to the big city w/ tall buildings w/ lots'a christmas lights! (heh, 'course i only gest in calling berkeley a 2 horse town.   'course berkeley is kewl!)   neway, i also wanted to show kaela how fastrak werks.   so we went 'cross the bay bridge, got to avoid all sorts'a traffik thanks to fastrak.   my transponder beeped n' i sed my thank u.   we figured we'd eat n' watch a movie.   i knew bounce had opened.   kaela checked moviefon, n' the only place playing it was the metreon, that crazy, overpriced entertainment palace.   the movie was @ 1000p, so i knew we had li'l time.   we drove past thirsty bear brewing, since i knew we hadn't much time.   else yah, it would've been a good nite to try the tapas place that jefflyn n' cal always rave 'bout.   we parked, went to the metreon.   so what could we eat?   yah, i know there's the fud ct on the 1st floor... but hrm...   altho' we only had so much time, i wanted to try to take this hot chick to a li'l fancier place.   so we went upstairs to montage.   we told the maitre'd that we only had so much time, n' he was good 'nuff to suggest we just have a quick dinner in their cocktail lounge.   'twas a perfect idea cos i was thinking 'bout how much fun 'twas to eat in a nice cocktail lounge, like the time @ skate's that sandy, chals, n' i met up w/ master park b4 he left ucmap.   so we got to try a few small dishes: a garden weed salad, a spiced pumpkin asiago flatbread, n' ribs in hoisin sauce.   'twas good fud.   they burned the flatbread, so we sent it back, n' the 2nd 1 was pretty dark on the bottom 2.   but the waitress was nice, polite, n' attentive; n' kaela agreed it was fine i didn't like stiff her on the tip or nething.   so we watched bounce; interesting movie.   i think their relationship was a bit unhealthy tho'; n' ben affleck, as an actor, didn't convince me that he really loved gwyneth all that much.   [dang, i got kicked off my uc annex connection!   4got 'bout the time limit... dang, so i typed a whole bunch more, but it got lost! dang! but i'll try 'gain to retype...] ben affleck expressed emotion 'bout as well as keanu reeves usually does.   but i personally don't think keanu reeve's a bad actor, so i'm not saying ben affleck was that bad.   his best acting was in chasing amy tho'. gwyneth paltrow showed emotion well tho'.   whe's been taking more down.to.earth roles lately, huh?

the metreon: sony had this grand idea, but it really flopped right 'way.   maybe it tried to be 2 much.   but i think it's still a really glamourous, hip place.   it really brings big city class to soma.   everything's really overpriced, 'specially the parking, but it's a place where lots'a hip, young ppl hang, families play, yuppies dine n' drink...   'twas a good idea that flopped, but i think it still has some use.

sat morn, kaela drove my subaru n' dropped me off @ the rsf.   i judged the green/blue tests n' jacob's black stripe test.   we all watched joc, patrick, n' rosalie test.   i guess rosalie'll be the 1st of my students to become a black belt.   kaela came in n' watched the test.   'twas a really intense test, but all 3 did well.   the black belts went to koryo sootbool 4 an awesome dinner.   we had so much fud, so much meat: tons of bulgogi n' kalbi, roast gui, samgyuhbsal, yook hwe!!! yah, i think raw, dead animal is good.   n' since i knew joc likes raw meat n' since she just tested, i figured we should have some.   we had tons of meat.   1 big table complained they had no fud, n' i guess 'twas cos no1 spoke korean @ their table n' could order.   not that u can't order in english...   n' i thought leo prob'ly could speak korean.   but neway, they were so hungry, n' we were so full.   i ordered some fud 4 them cos garth cmed to be having so much trouble telling the waitress he wanted the stuff in the cow dish.   dr. min made some ppl sing, but he left pretty early.  'twas a really fun dinner.

then brandie dropped me off w/ kaela @ starbucks.   then we went over to andy's n' played liar's dice while others played virtual tennis n' other sega dreamcast games.   then we were s'pposed to go bowling, but 'twas 2 crowded, so we went to play games @ a bar called albatross on san pablo.   we played darts 4 a while.   we met bruce! brandie's bruce!   yah, he's a handsome fellow; good 4 brandie.   then dave, andy, jefflyn took off 4 home.   i dropped roland off.   joon, laura, kaela, n' i joined brandie, bruce, n' garth @ deanna n' darlene's.   later jason came over.   we ordered west coast pizza, watched tv, watched friday n' chilled.   it's been so long since i saw so many of the ppl i saw on sat.   'twas good to c them.   shoot, i even saw chals after all this time.   his hair's grown out a bit.

i got to use fastrak 'gain this morning.   when u pass thru the fastrak gate, ur fastrak "transponder" beeps a few times.   back when i'd be a normal ca$h or coupon paying customer @ the toll boothes, i always made sure to say, "hi," or "good morning," n' "thanks."   'member?   sometimes it'd really set the mood 4 the morning as i drove in to werk, 'specially when i used to drive 'cross the bay bridge.   u know, like, if the employee was rude or just muttered back, it wouldn't be as nice as if he/she cheerfully sed "good morning" back, u know?   well, now my fastrak transponder just beeps.   but i'll assume that's a cheerful beep.   maybe i'll say good morning back to my transponder.   hrm... so i should prob'ly put a happy face on it somehow 2.   hrm... then it'll have no choice but to look happy.   that sounds so sad, huh?   'lotta times burds have no choice but to look happy.   the shape of the beaks of budgies n' luvburds... when u look @ them from the front, it looks like they're smiling @chu.   but who knows if they're really happy or what.

so last nite the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to taekwondo practice.   'twas open werkout 4 the most part.   master yoon, raymond, n' i planned out the mlk, jr. weekend snowtrip.   this'll be kewl!   master yoon really wants us to go to boreal cos it's cheaper than northstar n' squaw.   we'll prob'ly go boreal 1 day n' northstar 'nother.   i don't so much mind.   all of the snowcrew these days wants to go to big resorts cos of downhill boarding...   i didn't use to like downhill boarding much @ all; i just wanted to ride the park n' pipe.   it's 'bout time i got back to those freestyle roots!   so it's good we'll go to boreal 'least 1 day.   it's cheap, n' it's mostly 'bout the park n' pipe...   but then u gotta deal w/ lots'a li'l snow grommets talking trash 'bout each other, just sitting @ the top of the park, pretending they'll do a run, but just sitting there all day.   that's no good.   but i hope it'll be fun.   after practice, a few of us went to durant ghetto: brandie, laura, johnny, joon, kaela, n' me.   patrick joined us.   we went to mandarin house 2ice this week.   r we gonna do nething 2nite or what?   'member the smell of fresh cut grass?   how it smelled when i'd run 'round, playing soccer?   it's been a while.   i used to always play soccer as a kid.

while in chino n' watching tons o' tv, i saw oscar delahoya sing.   wow, isn't that the glamourous life?   this guy's a world class boxer n' a somewhat successful pop singer.   that pretty much sums up "coolness," the kind usually reserved 4 japanese anime characters, right?   but i guess sports stars who cross into musik isn't all that new; u got basketball players who rap, etc.   but i'm not much of a basketball fan.

so last nite, i picked up the beautiful kaela kang from werk, n' then we made soondooboo @ home.   i used my new sanyo neurofuzzy rice cooker 4 the 1st time.   it took a while to make rice, but wow!!!   this rice was so fluffy n' delicious!   i dunno if i'd ever had rice so good!   wow!   so i guess the cooker's worth it.   we ate soondooboo, rice, n' all sorts of banchan from home.   we finished watching palwol uy christmas on vcd.   we started watching that a while 'go.   it's a tragic love story 'bout a terminally ill guy who owns a foto store n' a traffic cop woman.   it's very artistic.   after dinner, i drove out to the oakland main post office to send off my traffic court papers.

life is 'bout right.   i don't feel depressed, but i still have things to take care of.   u know?   it's a balance of good n' bad.   i'm happy to have my rice cooker that makes delicious rice.   i used fastrak 4 the 1st time this morning, n' it saved me many precious minutes.   technology is wonderful, n' i am absolutely opposed to cell fon bans or ne such proposed legislation.   true, driving n' talking can be bad... but the solution isn't to ban cellfons, it's to get ppl to drive less.   u know that?   1 of america's biggest probs is that americans drive 2 much.   there ought to be better public transportation... but that's obviously.   u know... i usually figure america could benefit from copying 'lot of what asia n' europe does.   neway, technology is good n' progress is good.   oh, u know... while @ ontario mill, we went to their vans skatepark... man! san jo skaters r so much better... *sigh*   it's true!   i can't wait to go snowboarding 'gain a.s.a.p.!   sat's the taekwondo promotional test.   there might be a party afterwards.   i'm thinking 'bout visiting san jo on sun; i dunno.

[later] i saw my rice cooker on.line on sale 4 $175.   whoa! that's almost $100 over what i paid 4 it!   i got a free set of rice/soup bowls...

"be naked n' be free," i sed to my bush's baked beans beandoggy as i removed it's t.shirt.   oftentimes, it's best that stuffed animals just don't wear clothes.   sometimes it's ok, sometimes it's not.   the beautiful kaela kang ordered this bush beandoggy, n' i got it out of my office mailbox 2day.   it's cute, brown, n' full of beans.

last nite, 'twas good to c many friends after the t.giving break.   we got to taekwondo practice later than usual cos we thought it'd be just open werkout.   upes! jason han was leading class.   we joined in.   'twas a good werkout, n' i appreciate jason's leading class more than he knows.   i felt a li'l out of shape.   i really wish i could practice more often, like b4, when i'd go every nite.   it's really important to me.   well, there was some open werkout, so kaela n' i reviewed lots'a poomsae.   then we had a uc open mtg.   i'm confused as to whom i'm s'pposed to consider my official co.head... argh.   well, kaela n' i considered going home n' cooking soondooboo since i got the new neurofuzzy juhngi bapsot, but the idea of hanging out w/ friends was 2 tempting.   we hadn't cn these friends in a while: brandie, johnny, jerome, joon...   so we went to durant fud ghetto, ate @ mandarin house.   'twas a good time.   after we dropped off johnny, kaela n' i went to party safeway.

[later]   so @ lunch, i drove all the way out to oaktown to take my in.person test 4 webtrafficschool.com.   back in august, on my way down to san jo 4 that week i had cad training, i got a speeding ticket.   my mom told me not to be 2 late...   *sigh*   neway, it was a really dumb ticket; i wasn't going that fast.   neway, i finished taking care of traffic skool 2day.   phew.   but i wasted my whole lunch hr going to oakland, this n' that.   u know, yesterday, @ werk, i had to make some fotocopies.   when i opened the machine to put down the original, i found a cowerker's invoice 4 some sextoys...   hrm...   yah, what wouldju do?   i just took it off the glass n' put it ontop of some reams of paper on the ground.   but man... isn't that an odd situation?   oh, i didn't tell u 'bout when i bought 2 pairs of pants n' 2 shirts @ structure in brea mall, i got a free structure watch.   so now i wear a watch, even tho' i usually don't like to wear watches.   i used to always wear a watch; i'd feel naked w/o it.   but they'd give me rashes, so when i got a pager, i stopped wearing watches.   but now, i'm wearing a watch 'gain.   i'll try not to be so attached to wearing 1 tho'.   i'd rather be able to survive w/o 1.   i'm back to taking vitamins.   after running out of the 1.a.day vitamins i got from costco a while 'go, i didn't buy ne more till a coupl'a days 'go when i bought some @ safeway during my lunchbreak.   here's some good reading from y! 'bout asian america: "author explores asians in u.s."   some of my non.american readers might not fully understand ethnicity in america.   this article gives a good, brief overview of some asian.am issues.   n' it's a good, well thought out article article by an in4med, educated writer.   i'm not sure if he's asian or not, but he definitely knows a thing or 2 'bout asian america, u know?

[later] i got my fastrak transponder 2day!   wow, all sorts'a stuff is coming in.   yah, now i can cross bay area bridges w/o looking 4 dollar bills.   but this also means, that if i drive, i automatically am the 1 paying 4 the toll... unless ppl just give me donations.   i wonder if the fastrak ppl ever thought 'bout those implications; that the driver now automatically is the 1 paying when a group of friends crosses a bridge.

[later] i got to use fastrak 2ice 2day cos i went to sf to pick up some filter cubes... optical filters.   man, why r toby's concerts always @ times when i can't make it?!   i feel bad cos i kept telling him to rejoin the octet, n' i haven't gone to ne of his shows.

when i was running to gate 85 of lax to try to catch that ual flight out to sfo, i was carrying my new rice cooker in the plastic bag it came in.   the bag also had the free 4 bowl set i got 4 making a purchase over $60.   but the handles of the bag cut off circulation to the end of my index finger, so it was numb 4 a while.   i'm just now starting to feel it 'gain.   weird, huh?   neway, last nite, after werk, i picked up the beautiful kaela kang, n' i took her to 168, n' we ate dinner.   'twas fun, n' kaela had printed out some 411 on parrotlets, so we read 'bout them.   i wondered if this guy i saw was vic yip who lived w/ me n' phil in our foothill suite frosh yr.   dunno.   'twas a lazy, nite.   these days, i werk late, n' i do more werk... it's like the days when i werked 4 ebmud @ the orinda water treatment plant.   things were pretty bizzy, no time to write e.mail.   it's ok, tho'.   i'm glad i'm getting used to this kind of werklife.   but i used to goof off more, n' goofing off is enticing, right?   it sounds like fun, n' it is, i guess.   i bought vitamins @ safeway yesterday, when i went during my lunchbreak.   vitamins r good 4 me.

well, i have many things to say but very li'l time to say it.   i'm here @ werk late, but i wanna bust outta here a.s.a.p. n' pick the kaela kang up from her werk.  i wanna tell u 'bout how thanksgiving went n' all.   i hope u had a good thanksgiving... if u, the reader, celebrate thanksgiving...   i guess some of u rn't united states folk, so u rn't so into this whole thanksgiving day thing.   n' that's fine.   can u believe frickin' george w. bush is s'pposed to be our next president?   he's so stoopid!   sorry, but i absolutely am not 1 of those bay area democrats that r supposedly asking al gore to give up the fight.   there's nuthin' wrong w/ standing up 4 whatchu believe in, n' i'm glad al gore believes that the u.s. shouldn't have a stoopid president.   that's good.

neway, thanksgiving weekend!   uhm, i took wed off from werk, we flew down from sfo to lax on wed morning.   i drove the 3 of us (kaela, jeanna, me) to sfo, parked in long term parking, n' we sleepily took our united airlines flight down to lax.   mrs. kang picked us up from lax n' drove us home to chino.   we had such a sleepy day n' just sat 'round the house, watched tv, ate, etc.   late in the afternoon, kaela n' i went to costco n' sav.on.   that nite, mr. kang talked to me 4 a while, telling me 'bout his bizness plans n' life.

thurs, we went to kaju market.   we went to the cemetary to visit kaela's maternal grandmother.   then we went to rolling hills to have thanksgiving lunch/dinner w/ a whole bunch of kaela's relatives.   wow, 'twas a huge house filled w/ many, many, many relatives.   i met many relatives, n' *phew* boy, am i glad that i guess my insa was acceptable.   we ate fud.   it was a big party, lots'a fud, lots'a fun stuff... they had a pool table, all sorts'a toys, a whole bunch'a tvs... a piano... we played pool.   kaela tried on new clothes w/ all the women.   kids ran 'round all over the place.   they have a doggy named dukie.   then we had more fud 4 dinner.   later, we did noraebang, n' i sang a few songs.   i didn't think i would, but eh... why not?   then we left pretty late.   i might have dozed off a coupl'a times in the car.

neway, i'm trying to go thru this wrap.up really fast cos i wanna bust outta here...   fri, we went to todai buffet in puente hills n' had a disaster.   i was gonna pick up my todai v.i.p. card, but i never got 'round to it.   as soon as we sat down, a waitress somehow splashed chinese hot sauce all over us from a good distance away.   i dunno how it happened, but it was a big mess.   we had to deal w/ that.   it was a big ordeal.   the whole day was s'pposed to be this great outing that mr. kang had planned out.   he had all these maps printed out.   it was s'pposed to be a tour, n' we'd go to la korea town, so i could buy a rice cooker.   neway, we ate our lunch, then we went shopping 4 a shirt 4 jay cos the waitress ruined his, n' todai promised to buy him a new 1.   we went out to brea mall.   then we went back to puente hills to try to get a reimbursement, but the manager was gone.   then we went to korea town, where i bought a new fancy.schmancy rice cooker from kim's juhngi.   we stopped by some korean 'puter store, so mr. kang could buy those hangul stickers 4 his keyboard.   then we went home.   we watched lots'a tv.

sat, we went out to a big chinese buffet in chino.   then kaela n' i went shopping @ ontario mill n' brea mall.   we finally had our 1st real krispy kreme doughnuts!   well, we watched more tv.   we knew we only could get a li'l sleep cos we had an early flight.

sun, we had a big ordeal w/ united airlines cos they didn't let us on our flight cos they sed we were late, but we weren't! they just gave 'way our seats to standby passengers w/o giving us a fair chance.   jeanna went ahead on the flight we were supposed to board.   kaela n' i waited 4 the next, next flight to go home.   then we tiredly flew home.   then i showered, n' the 3 of us went to dimsum @ peony in oakland chinatown.   we shopped, n' looked @ all sorts'a burdies @ the lucky goldfish.   then we dropped jeanna off n' went to quikley, where we ran into ryan choi.   i was very surprised he remembered me.   sun nite, old friends called me: toby, supermike, n' phil.   i moved kaela's 'puter into my room cos i'm having probs w/ my 'puter.   so it's outta the kitchen...   i wonder if josh even really cares.   neway, i have much more to say, but i wanna get outta here, so i'll leave it @ this.   sorry.   yes, let's talk.   it's gonna be a fun n' bizzy holiday season.

i've had many canker sores lately.   can i discuss that?   it's cos of stress, huh?   but i feel better now.   but the canker sores still gotta go 'way.   i 'membered yesterday how the ortho n' the ortho assistants sed to rinse my mouth out w/ warm salt water if i got cuts from my braces.   i had braces from 6th to 8th grade.   i dunno why that'd help, but i did it 1nce.   i tried it yesterday @ werk.   it stung like crazy.   then i got used to the stinging.   then the sores didn't bother me so much.   is that the whole pt? to make it hurt so badly that u don't think 'bout the pain after u spit out the salt water?   i dunno.   or is it s'pposed to help in some other way?

well, last nite i took the beautiful kaela kang out to allegrias, as i sed i would.   lots'a yummy fud.   n' 'twas functional cos she got to talk 'bout it in her spanish presentation this morning.   we had all sorts'a goodies: tripe stew, snails n' clams stew, bunny rabbit stew, crab cakes, chopped up octopus on potatoes, n' a paella.   oh n' we had flan n' coffee.   'twas very good.   then we neoprinted in j.town.

2day @ lunch, after dropping off my mangaer @ the service station, i went shopping 4 a present 4 kaela's parents.   @ the mall, i pondered what to eat since i was so hungry.   i went to sorabol n' had kalgooksoo even tho' i expected it to be pretty bad.   i was right.   oh well.   'least now i can say i've been to sorabol in the corte madera mall.   i'm leaving 4 chino @ 920a 2morrow.   i thought 'twas 920p!   now i gotta skip werk, n' i was s'pposed to be @ a mtg 2morrow.   upes!   *sigh*   oh well...   the beautiful kaela kang has again graced my g.book.   yay!

[later] so i left off talking 'bout the g.book, n' i just saw that matt easton of the jenny thing signed it 2day.   some of u know the jenny thing; some of u r wondering, "who?"   well, i'll just hafta play their cd 4 u then, huh?   2 bad my closer and closer to less got stolen out of my car.   *sigh*   it's always cmed to me to be a very "winter" album.   i'll just hafta go to rasputin's pick up 'nother copy n' show u.

2day is the 10th monthversary 4 beno's being w/ the beautiful kaela kang.   she knows the plan 4 2nite.   since she's doing a report 4 her spanish class on spanish fud, i'm taking her to a spanish restaurant in sf.   this is the restaurant we thought 'bout going to last week; but things didn't werk out 2 well that day.   but 2day, in general, i feel so much better.   we had a good weekend in tahoe.   snowboarding always helps.   really.   i mean, hrm... i like best to go snowboarding n' do big jumps n' tricks.   but even if i have a whole weekend of just riding down the slopes, that even makes me feel better.

so we left on fri eve.   since i still had to pack, there was a li'l bit of panic, but it wasn't 2 bad.   we ended up leaving right on schedule.   jefflyn, roland, dave, jeff's old roommate jong, the beautiful kaela kang n' me...   i drove, dave drove.   the 2 cars met up @ the pinole in.n.out.   i had a free 2x2 from some ol' sweepstakes.   that was the 1st of many bad.4.me.fud meals of the weekend.   we made very good time!   wow!   i didn't know getting to south tahoe could be this easy!   i always avoided south tahoe n' opted 4 north tahoe cos i thought going to south tahoe was such a pain, but maybe not.   it was weird tho'; i had to drive past the site of the big spinout smashy smashy that happened almost 2 yrs 'go now... please refer to 01 february, 1999 "groundhog's eve."   on fri nite, i was following dave's civic on the twisty part of the 50.   then he passed this corolla, n' i was following the corolla, but i wanted to catch up to dave.   u know what? the next available passing lane just happened to be the passing lane where i got into my big accident.   *sigh* crazy!   so i was so tense as i passed the corolla 'round that tight turn.   phew...   crazy crazy!   well, the drive up went ok.

we had a big, greasy breakfast @ the mc yuk yuk's @ the "y."   that's the intersection of the 50 n' the 89.   i had the steak, egg, n' cheese bagel breakfast meal w/ orange hi.c.   man, what a filling breakfast.   i also bought a democratic donkey teeny beanie baby to prove i'm not a right wing fascist.   ha ha.   the cashier sed most ppl wanted the elephant.   well, ok... i guess that's the kind'a ppl the locals r.   heh.   well, in ne case all 3 r very cute, n' that's why a while 'go, i bought the whole set 4 kaela.   k, well, we were off to sierra@tahoe.   we had a full day.   man, i bought an adult ticket cos i figured i didn't want to go thru the hassle of pretending i'm 22 (4 a "young adult" ticket).   last season, @ northstar, i had to go thru so much embarassment to save a few bucks.   i might as well be like dr. eric johnson n' specifically ask 4 the "old adult" ticket.   only roland n' i got old adult tix.   even dave, my elder by 1 day, got the young adult ticket.   oh well.   'twas early season snow.   4 of 9 lifts were open.   i managed not to scratch my board.   i had a few li'l jumps, but there wasn't 'nuff snow 4 the resort to have ne big jumps.   i bailed 1nce when i sped up on a bank n' then, on my way down, i didn't c that there was a flat path cut into the bank, so i dug in.   if i knew the flat was there, i should'a just jumped over it.   the runs were really crowded n' full of all sorts'a nasty early season obstacles, trees, rocks, bare spots, etc.   by the end of the day i had a really sore left leg n' neck.   but 'twas all fun.   we went back to the cabin n' quickly showered.   oh yah, the nite b4, i got the crappy of 2 parking spots; i had to park atop a spilled garbage can.   un4tunately, in the morning, when i warmed up the car, the garbage bag melted onto part of my exhaust line.   so we had to smell burning plastic every so often.   neway, while most of us showered, jeff n' jong took dave's car to albertson's to buy some snacks, breakfast, n' a case of hefeweizen.   when they got back, we started watching happy gilmore, n' ate bananas n' kettle chips w/ hefeweizen.   then we took off to the hotels/casinos to find real dinner.   i asked kaela to drive cos i had just had a hefeweizen.   even tho' 'twas just 1, i figured it's better to be safe than sorry.   we ate @ harrah's american river cafe.   we gambled a li'l.   then we went home relatively early.   it felt so good to be early w/ all sorts'a things.   we went back, finished happy gilmore, n' went to bed early.

the next morn, sun morn, we decided to skip boarding n' just trek on home.   we had some sausages n' biscuits n' cinnabuns.   jeff n' i tried to make this piggy in a blanket biscuits.   they were ok, but we didn't do all that well.   then we left 4 home.   we stopped by vacaville to shop @ the adidas outlet.   then we went to the jelly belly factory in fairfield.   we took the tour.   it was uhm... so.so.   the factory doesn't have all that much to show.   'twas interesting 4 me to c the factory automation, but i'm sure most ppl don't notice "oh wow, they use yokogawa displays," n' stuff like that...   strangely, they focused so much on talkin' 'bout some sf dude who makes mosaics out of jelly bellies.   i guess he's a republican cos the only presidents he made mosaics of were reagan n' bush.   in fact, that whole company cmed really politically conservative.   i enjoyed sampling jelly bellies, 'specially the jalapeño 1 n' the tabasco cinnamon 1s.   i bought over a lb. of jelly bellies.   k, we did that tour thing, n' then we went home.   kaela returned her rental @ any mountain, n' i dropped my board off 4 base repair n' tune.   then the group tried to go to pho king in oaktown, but 'twas closed, so we went to a pho place on 10th st. in chinatown.   man, so much beef that weekend!   *sigh*   k, well, that was it!

i 4got to talk 'bout fri noon.   kaela, cos she used up my lighter, which i found yrs 'go outside leconte hall b4 a physics lecture, to burn ants in the bathroom, bought me a kewl lighter from livetoplay.com.   i received it on fri, just b4 lunch.   i went to the village mall to eat a big burrito @ la salsa.   i bought a pair of charcoal, 5.pocket stretch pants @ gap.   uhm... by stretch, they don't mean that they're skin tight, just that the material is elasticky.   they're basically jeans.   i figure this is good engineering werk attire.   neway, they were on sale, n' i had been pondering them 4 a while.   uhm... neway, i just quickly bought those n' got my @$$ back to werk.

*breath*   well, 2day's been a good day.   i got to werk much earlier than usual.   good! so i can leave early n' get ready 4 my big date w/ that hot chick!   it's been a pretty easy.going day.   maybe the stress i've had these past coupl'a weeks is all in my head.   i shall try to stress less, to take myself to that "happy place" when i feel stressed...   hrm... well, yah. isn't that a good plan?   i gotta give myself a better outlook on life, i guess.   sometimes, tho', i think 'bout how when i was in college, i very much dreaded the idea of being in between college n' marriage.   in some ways some of my fears have come true: i worried 'bout what kind of living situation i should have.   do young werking folk have roommates like college kids?   or do they all live by themselves?   or do they live w/ their sweeties n' honeys, etc.   c, i dunno... i didn't know, n' i still don't know.   *sigh*   yah, there r those in the silicon valley, n' they all do the werking life well.   they might werk 4 big corporations, big tech or financial firms.   n' they're doing the "werking life" just as they're s'pposed to.   it's not like that's bad.   but really... i feel that's the "set plan," that's how it's "meant to be."   but then there r those of us who chose to stay in berkeley n' deal w/ being in limbo btwn college life n' werking life.   we still have our crappy berkeley college apts.   there r those in silicon valley who got 2gether as a group of 5 buddies n' rented out houses.   yah, ppl do that, i guess.   there r ppl who moved to emeryville n' rent nice, contemporary apts.   sometimes i wish i could do that.   but then i'd be throwing away so much money on high rent.   *sigh*   then there's dave who bought a condo in san leandro.   that's good.   mortgage beats rent neday, right?   well, so i wonder how beno should live in these times, postcollege / premarriage.   *sigh*   n' i've got such awful roommate problems.

'twas nice to talk to roland 'bout kewl restaurants.   i still wanna try betelnut in sf.   it's always so crowded tho'.   thank u to all u ppl who signed my g.book recently: novacaine, stefanie, n' jenny.   i guess i don't know u ppl, but wow, thanks 4 ur readership.   i just got my superduper scsi card n' my scsi terminator 4 kaela's scanner.   lemme open them.   hrm... the scsi card is right, the adpatec 19160 ultra 160 card; but the terminator isn't the right kind.   hrm...   i'll hafta get an rma, huh?   nuts.

*sigh* 'nother late nite / early morning entry.   i read the beautiful kaela kang's most recent journal entry.   that's a true journal entry; she really talks 'bout stuff.   she talks 'bout lotta stuff she hasn't so much expressed to me in wurds, n' it's funny cos i've been thinking 'bout lotta of those same things lately.   *sigh*   i'm definitely 2 emotionally dependent these days.   when i was single, i preached so much 'gainst the evils of emotional dependency.   n' i kept believing that after kaela n' i started going out.   but then i realised that a total lack of dependency is sorta like insensitivity.   i dunno.   'least it's easily interpretted as that.   n' maybe it is.   it's good to be vulnerable to those who u hold close to u.   u can't always clam up n' pretend to be strong.   i definitely believe that the strongest ppl show their weaknesses... 'least to those they love or those they call friends.   yah, defnitely.   neway, somehow i've let emotional dependency get carried 'way.   it's a really bad thing to let it get out of hand.   independency.   "all u women who independent, throw ur hands up to me."   that's what they say, right?   well, u know... many times in my life i tried to be independent.   yah, often i have come off as insensitive or rude when exercising independence.   uh, whuh?   yah, what do i mean by that?   i dunno; i'm not sure. but i think so.   i've avoided feeling coddled... i think that 1 way i've "excerised independence."   but... *sigh* that's a weakness i've had, right?   i know i've had childish "nooooo, let me do it!" times.   u know?

well, i guess 'least i've identified a problem in my life.   i hope i can somehow fix it.   i dunno 'xactly how.   i mean... 'course, u know i really love kaela.   she's really great.   she has all sorts of things i've wanted in a woman n' more.   but i definitely want to appreciate her 4 all that... n' not reduce her to an emotional crutch.   that'd be a infinitely, disgustingly terrible waste.   u know tho? 'member the conversation i had w/ phil?   he sed, "ppl don't grow during relationships, they grow in between relationships."   then yrs later i came up w/ a different skool of thought: "in a healthy relationship, ppl can grow."   yah, that all has'ta do w/ emotional depedency.   really, i think it's something causes problems in many relationships.   ha, here i go 'gain preaching 'gainst the evil of emotional dependency!   ha ha.   neway... to air some1 else's durty laundry, let's talk 'bout how when toby n' his ex.gf sarah broke up, he sed that they knew that they were using each other as emotional punching bags?   yah, c?   that's an example, right?   it's 2 easy, 4 a person in a relationship to try to blame his/her failures on his/her partner.   1 can try to argue, "oh, i spent so much time sacrificing 4 u that i couldn't develop my life."   yah, ok... so why didju sacrifice?   was it out of love? or was it just so u could have an excuse to be lazy?   hrm... now, that's a cynical thought!   well, hey... howzabout this? yes, sometimes, n' hopefully usually, ppl do things 4 their partners out of love... but hey... sometimes evil emotional dependency can play tricks on ur mind n' screw w/ u.   also... think 'bout how a person might try to make his/her partner emotionally dependent on him/her... so who's the real emotional dependent 1?   they both r, i guess.

k... well, i'm not a marriage counselor, i'm not a pastor, n' i'm not a psychology major.   i'm just beno.   n' here i go spewing @ the mouth all this crap.   oh well, buy it if u will, or don't.   i'm no wiseman.

yah, i wish i could really clean out my apt.   i've made some attempts in the recent past w/ the help of the beautiful kaela kang.   but it never cms quite good enuf.   i need space.   kaela had a suggestion, n' yah, i wish i could take lots'a my old stuff to my san jo house, but i seriously have no guarantee that my mom won't throw it all 'way.   this has happened 2 much in the past.   so then what? rent a storage space?   *sigh* waste of money... i'm trying not to spend so much money, right?   ha, as if ne1 ever tries to spend 2 much money, right? ha ha.   neway... i feel i've been wasting lots'a money lately, mostly no going out to eat.   it's a concern.   *sigh*   eh, i've sed it all b4: waste of money, yet there's the bad situation w/ josh, ants, n' lack of time, n' there4 no cooking. *sigh*   yah, i've been stressed.   it shows.   i have canker sores, zits, n' a sore back.   well, sore back.. that's from doing so much hands.on werk on the microscopes.   i guess i'm 2 tall 4 those machines, so i'm always bending my back to werk on them.

well, i should've been packing 4 tahoe instead of writing this journal netry.   *sigh* stoopid beno!   yah, kaela got the mail out of our mailbox by asking the mailman.   i'm very happy 'bout that.   who knows when josh'll come back w/ the mail key.   *sigh* this is not an ideal living situation.   well, tahoe.   snowboarding makes me happy n' healthy.

i've felt really burdened lately.   i don't want to mention this cos then every1's gonna worry 'bout me, but don't worry.   i've just had a lot to think 'bout n' less n' less time to actually think 'bout it all.   werk's been very bizzy, n' i have very full days.   mon nite, i tried to fix my stoopid printer, but it's just plain busted.   man, why isn't this thing built to last?   it was a very frustrating experience.   i felt really lousy.   tues nite, we had taekwondo.   we went to durant fud ct to eat, but it cmed that some ppl ditched us.   that's pretty lame 4 ppl to act like they're gonna hang w/ us then ditch us.   c, stuff like that makes me think, "who r my real friends?"   this whole "who r my friends" thing can really put me in a negative mood.   oh, on mon nite, the beuatiful kaela kang n' i ate pho @ that restaurant on center.   yah, we've been eating out way 2 much.   i dunno, man...   i have less time to cook, the apt is a big battlezone, n' there r ants everywhere.   c, so i don't feel like cooking altho' cooking's a small hobby of mine... usually.   *sigh* so i've been wasting tons of money on eating out... that's 4 sure.   *sigh*   neway, back to tues nite.   well, some of us went to durant fud ghetto, n' a subset who went to get fud actually sat 'round n' chilled, ate 2gether.   others got fud or drinks n' left cos they had to, but laura, johnny, kaela, n' i sat n' ate.   'twas fun.   c, good times can be had!   lemme tell u.

well, 2nite was wed nite.. oh, 'tis nite / early morning right now... 2nite, i was so frickin' bogged down.   i was @ werk late doing some experiments that totally got botched.   then i got a stressful e.mail 'bout taekwondo.   i was so emotionally beat up.   i drove home.   i felt so thrashed.   kaela had plans to go to a spanish restaurant in sf, but i was far from up to it.   i was so burdened.   then kaela n' i talked 'bout some stuff, 'specially this taekwondo issue... then we went home 4 a li'l, unsure of what we'd do next.   then we were gonna go to yeitnal jjajang, but 'twas closed, so we ate @ koryo sootbool.   'twas such an uplifting dinner.   it really brightened my outlook on life somehow.   i went in, feeling like such a failure in life, but then i filled up w/ warm fud n' felt better.   i had suhlruhngtang, n' kaela had gajaemi jjigae.   we also had some bindaedduhk.   koryo's always an interesting place.   how come sootbooljip always attract really "interesting" ppl?   1st there was this table full of random ppl that asked kaela to take there picture.   it was a very interesting bunch.   i'm not sure how many of the ppl @ that table were gay, but 'least 1 or 2 of them had to be.   we noticed 1 african-'merican gay guy had a very big butt.   it's not that we wanted to c it, but it was very obvious.   the table next to us was an asian guy n' a mexican guy, both speaking spanish to each other.   the mexican guy had the same isobune t.shirt i have.   one of the ahjumah waitresses stealthily checked out the headfons on his head while his friend was deciding what to order.   i dunno why, that just looked sorta funny.   i guess she found those wrap.behind.the.head headfons interesting.   1 of our waitresses was very atypical cos she was a young, very americanised gurl.   u don't find 2 many ppl like this werking in sootbooljip.   neway, the fud made me feel so good.   starvation makes ppl cranky n' negative.   fud lifted my spirits.   'course we shouldn't abuse fud like drugs, right?

[later] so now it's early evening, i've got a li'l time to write from my cubicle.   i woke up n' got to werk a li'l earlier 2day, so i guess i can leave earlier.   i miss getting to werk early n' leaving early.   it's a good thing i don't werk in sf... man, i dunno how i'd handle the werkday if i did...   well, 2morrow evening, some of us r leaving 4 a snowboard trip in south tahoe.   it'll be the 1st trip of the season.   i guess it's a pretty early trip.   man... i dunno why, but i feel so brain.fried still.   i mean, as i sed last nite, i felt better after dinner @ koryo, but in general, i still feel my life's more hectic than in previous months or maybe yrs.   hrm... maybe it's winter affecting me, i dunno.   i still gotta fix up my 'puter.   josh disappeared this whole week, n' so i can't get ne of my mail out of our apt. mailbox cos he has the only mailkey.   i ate peanut butter sandwiches 4 lunch.   i've been trying to eat as cheap as possible @ lunch, since we've been eating out @ dinner so often these days.   i have a picture of kaela on my office desk.   it's a nice picture.   she's very pretty.

[a li'l later] laura, thanks 4 signing my g.book!   it's nice to have friends sign the g.book or do a benoquote.

i've cn many movies lately.   pay it 4ward, x.men, meet the parents, bedazzled, charlie's angels...   u know, even tho' i didn't think ne of them were really great masterpieces, i had fun watching all of them.   sometimes that's all that matters.   sometimes, u gotta be a harsh critic n' really "think" when u watch the movie, n' c just how "smart" the movie is... then sometimes u just go n' laff n' be entertained 4 a while.   yup.   'twas a weekend full of movies n' 168...   on fri nite, jerome, joon, the beautiful kaela kang, n' i ate @ 168.   kaela had visited me @ werk that day.   she saw my new cubicle.   i took her to a nice lunch @ cali4nia cafe in the corte madera village mall.   'twas pretty fancy.   she came to my office looking so beautiful... what was i to do?   well, after werk, we met up w/ the 2 boys.   we all agreed we wanted something simple, not 2 expensive, so we were off to 168.   we hadn't been there in ages.   jefflyn told us coco's pregnant, but we had never cn her in that state.   we had a good dinner.   we were thinking of going to noraebang, but we had other ideas: movie, bowling, ice skating...   laura maybe was going to join us.   but then laura didn't.   since laura wasn't going to join us, we figured we should go c bedazzled since she was so 'gainst cing it... but since she wasn't gonna be w/ us...   so we went off to ua emeryville.   amc van ness 1000, amc kabuki, n' jack london r all full of asian kids n' asian college students.   ua emeryville is full of african american ppl.   they have more video games there.   well, we got there pretty much just in time.   we watched the movie.   'twas pretty funny.   afterwards we went back to joon's.   he n' doug have a nice studio in the americana.   we watched some korean musik videos.

sat, i thought 'bout getting my snowboard's base repaired.   we went to any mtn by kirala on shattuck.   i talked w/ the ppl in the shop, but in the end i decided to hold off on the repairs till after our upcoming trip.   then we went to exchange kaela's taekwondo shoes @ young's.   then we went to taekwondo demo team practice.   i left my compilation cd of fast korean musik there.   upes.   has ne1 cn it?   then that nite, we saw sandy 4 the 1st time in ages.   jefflyn, roland, dave, andy, jerome, kaela, n' i ate dinner @ 168.   sandy came to join us.   jeff's ex.roommate peter chung quickly stopped in 4 some fud.   we had a security guard quickly take our picture.   then we went off to sf to watch charlie's angels @ 1215a.   well, we didn't actually want such a late showing, but the earlier show was sold out.   it was good to talk to ppl i haven't cn in a while like sandy n' dave.   i've had lots to toss 'round in my head 'bout friendship lately.   who r my friends?   well... my friends r ppl who want to hang out w/ me.   but "hanging out" isn't everything... my friends r ppl who want to talk to me / e.mail me...   discuss real issues.   talk 'bout problems in each other's lives.   my friends can open up to me, n' i can open up to my friends.   my friends help me out, n' i help my friends out.   so well... i can reach out to some1 to c if he/she wants to be my friend.   i can be friendly...   but i dunno.   sometimes it cms to me that there r ppl i try to be friendly to, but they don't cm to be very friendly back 4 whatever reasons... i dunno.   i mean, i'm sure there r reasons.   maybe they think i'm annoying.   maybe they think i'm egotistical, loud, rude, stoopid, superficial, bossy, vain, mean, arrogant, selfish, snobby... i dunno.   *sigh*   sometimes, maybe i have the time n' energy to think' bout this... but i mean, it can be really self.torturing to sit 'round n' think, "how can i please every1?"   yah... i'd like to be friends w/ many ppl.   i do.   n' i want to be true friends w/ many ppl.   n' then there r times when this friend doesn't like this friend... but they're 2 friends of mine...   that's what happens when u have more friends, i guess.   if all u have in the world is 1 friend.   it's hard 4 that 1 friend to get mad @ u 4 being friends w/ another friend... i mean, if u only have that 1 friend... i guess.   it takes 3 to gossip, right?   n' stuff like that...   *sigh*   neway... it's fun to "hang out" w/ ppl tho'... sometimes i do wish ppl didn't think so hard 'bout everything n' would just hang out all 2gether n' have a good time.   but then some1'd complain that it's shallow friendship...   well, u know... maybe it sometimes is... but also maybe sometimes it's just "havin' a good time." *sigh*   neway, where was i?

so yah, we saw charlie's angels.   sandy drove kaela n' me.   we got to talk 'lot.   it's good to catch up... ketchup.   sun, i took kaela out to taiwan restaurant 4 taiwanese brunch.   we had some good fud, altho' we both had stomach aches.   then i dropped kaela off cos she was feeling sick, but i tried to go retrieve my compilation cd from the rsf.   i couldn't park.   i circled 'round... then i went to touchless to get gas.   i called jerome to c if he could help me out: if i were to drop him off @ the rsf, maybe he could run in n' get the cd.   but he was @ werk.   then i went home.   kaela n' i went 4 a nice walk.   we walked to the rsf.   i looked 4 my cd, but it wasn't there.   maybe sam has it.   but she did find last yr's uc open report that she werked so hard on n' which kevin thought was lost.   then we left.   i had this $15 gift certificate to eddie bauer that they sent me, a freebie.   i went there n' bought some stuff, werk clothes, i guess.   i could'a just picked out something under $15 n' walked 'way w/ a free gift, but i bought a wool shirt n' a sweater n' just got a $15 discount.   then we walked back.   i showed kaela this store juju on telly.   i really liked the clothes there from what i saw in the window b4 when i walked to my dentist's office.   it's only gurls' clothes tho'.   i think it's owned by this young korean couple.   kaela 'bout a nice, li'l black dress.   i like it very much.   then we went home.

well, what else is there to talk 'bout?   i really like my job a lot better now.   i'm a lot bizzier tho'.   i feel so much more productive n' useful n' everything.   it's a good feeling.   the woman in the next cubicle plays her musik sort'a loud.   she plays some countryish stuff, that i don't really like... then she plays dave matthews, which i don't really like... but she plays sarah mclachlan n' eric clapton, n' they're ok.   she cms like a character from ally mcbeal.   isn't that really ally mcbealish musik? i guess i wouldn't really know cos i don't really watch that show.   but i have cn it, n' i figure lots'a college kids think that's what life is like after college or something... that the werking.yet.not.married.yet life is like that... that u go out n' party after every werkday n' have all these office romances... uh... yah, sure!   that's not how it is, n' i don't think i'd want that.   i figure that's not how it is, but then 'gain maybe some ppl @ those big companies have all these peers to play w/ n' stuff.   the only time i went to a bar after werk was w/ cal n' owen, when we went to coat of arms in sf.   then we went to sushi zone in oakland.   that was a fun evening.   1nce, i hung out in the sobay w/ vince, ed park, jon aytec... n' some others... (uhm... who? heh heh... i 4get, but i don't think these ppl'd read my journal neway...) we had dinner @ tgi fridays.   yah, i felt like i was hanging out w/ a bunch of werking guys, a bunch of engineers.   n' yah, we were/r.   we got all rowdy in our own dorky way.   i haven't been in that environment in a while, i guess.

i liked charlie's angels.   i liked the 70s kitsch... is that the right wurd?   i liked the 70s stuff.   disco musik is really happy.   it's, like, "stoopidly" happy, but i don't mind.   watching the movie, i felt like i was watching a more subtle version of austen powers.   like, it felt like the movie satired pop culture of yesteryear, but it didn't it in a more subtle, maybe more intellectual way... if u r smart, u don't need to be told when something is funny... i guess.   i also thought it was funny that all the angels had some dorky things 'bout them.

well, i'm here late @ werk, i took a break to write this entry, but i'd better finish some more experiments, if i'm ever gonna leave.   these days, i/we've been eating out more, as a result of my staying later @ werk, i guess.   i'm 2 tired to cook.   but i guess it's like that semester, 2nd semester of sophomore yr, when i was studying hard n' i ate out very often...   yup.   on fri, i talked to joon 'lot 'bout his engineering skool curriculum.   i want him to do well.

last nite, i went to taekwondo practice a li'l late.   we had demo practice.   after dropping off sam, i went back home to check on the beautiful kaela kang.   we met up w/ brandie, jerome, joon, laura, mike, deanna, n' darlene @ the durant fud ct.   we had some fud @ steve's: yook kyei jang n' steamed mandoo.   then ppl went over to albany.   kaela picked up her gap delivery.   coincidentally, 2day i got an e.mail from gap.com telling me they've rejected me 4 their affiliate website program.   the e.mail was entitled "general reject," n' they told me that they looked @ my site n' sed it doesn't fit the market that they're aiming 4.   well, u know how i've got all these "sponsors" that give me a li'l spare change if u buy stuff from them.   so i thought gap.com'd be nice 'nuf to do the same.   eh! whatever.   maybe gap clothes r nice, but don't 4get when they were off endorsing george bush v. clinton way back when, right?   is gap still a big backer of the gop?   i dunno.   i 'member gap, inc. backed the gop, n' macy's supported the democrats.   i dunno if it's still like that or what.

well, 2day kaela came to visit me @ werk.   i had to dress nicer cos there was a board mtg 2day.   i took kaela to lunch @ cali4nia cafe.   it's uhm... overpriced, but it's not bad.   so i went 'head n' ordered my adaptec 19160 2day.   i gotta get the drive from ted via ken soon.   nelson insists i should get a cheap upgrade processor.   yah, i should.

well, last nite was a winter depression hibernation nite.   i picked up the beautiful kaela kang from starbucks n' took her to dinner.   we went to @sushi plus by my apt.   'twas a pretty good dinner.   when i got home, i fell asleep.   that's winter depression hibernation.   that's what happened 'round this time every skool yr.   that's why my grades were usually lower fall semester than spring spring semester.   so i slept 4 2 hrs, watched simpsons n' went back to sleep.   it's really awful.   i think i dreamed last nite, but i 4get what i dreamed 'bout.

i'm still upset over the apt situation.   maybe nuthin' big is gonna happen soon as fallout from the explosion, but i guess i really brought out issues...   well, yesterday, in my journal, i guess i really went off 'bout lots that has been on my mind.   i mean, not everything's 'bout the apt, josh, or whatever...   i talked 'bout being a spoiled brat v. a hard werker.   yes, that's an issue.   @ berkeley, i met ppl of all sorts of financial backgrounds, as far as their families...   rich kids come to cal, poor kids come to cal.   u've got kids who r proud to be poor or proud to be rich.   u got kids who r ashamed to be poor or ashamed to be rich.   u sure meet all sorts'a ppl.   n' then berkeley is the equaliser.   ppl come out, they get jobs.   the poor kid makes tons of money, the rich kid makes li'l money.   or maybe in some cases, the rich get richer n' the poor get poorer.   butchu never know.   well, in ne case, money ain't everything.   u gotta have morals.   n' it'd be nice to think that u came out of berkeley learning some morals n' values... that u had time to think 'boutchur place in this world, what u can do to benefit it...   that life isn't just 'bout making a profit off of other ppl.   i think so.   i think that the berkeley experience can teach a person to be conscientious, to care 'bout stuff like that.   i think so.   but not every1 come out thinking like that, i guess.

well, it's late, n' i'm in my office still, writing this entry.   yah, i wanna leave now.   i don't get to write e.mails or journal entries nearly as much nemore, u know.   but thanks 4 reading n' keeping in touch.

so last nite was intense, huh?   i'm not sure who r president elect is, but i'm scared to check.   i'll go check my y! frontpage now.   1 sec... nope, still no winner.   geez!   *sigh*   well, i've got a lot on my mind right now.   *sigh*   definitely.   i've had a long day @ werk, n' i'm pretty worn out.   i had lots'a pizza 4 lunch.   we were s'pposedly having a party to celebrate our imaging lab moving over from sf to cm.   well, i'm definetly happy 'bout that cos it means, as i sed b4, that i get to werk in cm instead of sf... which in itself isn't all that great, but i sure hate the cm commute less than the sf commute.   neway, if i do get 'round to writing all i want to write in 2day's journal entry, then it'll be a real journal entry, 1 that really delves into my deep thoughts n' feelings... lemme tell u!

my journal file is getting way 2 long, n' i'm pretty sure, starting next yr / next millenium, i'll start a new file... n' maybe i'll start a new file every month, right?   i dunno, something like that...   neway.   so a coupl'a days 'go my mom told me not to cut my hair so short.   i told the beautiful kaela kang this would happen.   i told kaela that my mom n' my sister don't like my hair so short... but i'm ok w/ it.   this was after kaela cut my hair.   neway, my mom told me not to cut my hair so short n' that that's why i got sick.   *sigh*   i'm 25, n' my mom's still telling me to cut my hair this way n' that way!   sheesh...   man, how long has this been going on?   how long does this go on 4 most sons?   from age 15 to 25?   or does it stop there?   a yr or 2 'go, ken told me how his dad told him not to cut his hair so short cos it doesn't look "professional."   whuh?!   ken's 1 of the most professional.looking guys i know... i mean, he doesn't dress really professionally, but his hair isn't by far not all asian gangstaish or nething...   it's not punked out, it's not coloured, it's not nuthin!   but his dad told him his short hair makes him look unprofessional.   huh?!   so what should ken have done?   have a bruce lee haircut?!   i mean... all respect to the great bruce lee, but i mean... is that what ppl consider professional in 2day's werking world or something?   there's some hair salon called bruce lee hair salon on the asian part of el camino.   when rosa saw that last christmas when she n' josh were down here, she cracked up so bad.   she imagined every1 walking out w/ hair like the famous bruce lee.   ha ha.

neway, well, onto the real meat of 2day's entry... besides the crazy election...   *sigh*   so after taekwondo practice, i brought laura, jerome, n' joon over to eat gnocchi w/ me n' kaela.   kaela skipped practice to study 4 2morrow's midterm.   well, *sigh*   ppl were over, n' i finally blew up @ josh, my roommate.   i was cooking fud 4 my friends, n' then he interrogated kaela, "when r u gonna take ur computer back to ur apt?"   well, frick! as if that's not a question w/o implications n' hidden meanings!   i mean, sheesh!   as is always the case w/ josh... there r things in this world which r perfectly fair n' legal.. but guess what! by doing them, u rn't being a pleasant person, u'r not being a nice person, n' u'r not being a friend.   that's so typical of this guy!   sure, he's got to get everything that's owed to him.   so yah... it's "fair" 4 him to ask kaela that question, despite the fact that what the question implies is "get ur computer out of my apt."   yah, it's perfectly "fair" 4 him to ask the question, n' it's perfectly "fair" 4 him even to just make the demand, give the ultimatum, "get ur computer out of my apt or else!"   yah, i admit, it's perfectly "fair."   but u know... it just goes to show josh is not a nice person!   so i blew up @ him.   i went on a cursing, swearing tirade, i guess u might say.   yah, i admit it.   i did.   n' i admit it was a very unpleasant thing.   it was unpleasant to go off on a loud tirade in front of a bunch of friends.   but shoot!   josh started this conflict in front of every1, so well... it's all "fair game," 1 might say.   sure, we'll spare all the niceties 2nite.   so...   i told him off!   i told him that he was being a jerk, n' didn't know how to share, n' that he's wrong in always thinking that we're taking advantage of him... that it's wrong that he has this mentality that he has to take advantage of others b4 they take advantage of him...   i went off.   what did he say?   man, he just repeated stuff my wurds back to me as questions... i guess some attempt to make me feel stoopid...   well, guess what, dude... those r my wurds.   maybe they weren't the most eloquent, but u know what?   they prove a pt., n' the pt. is valid, n' he ought to know all that!   i told him he's unpleasant, that he makes ppl feel uncom4table, that he makes ppl feel like he expects them to treat him w/ so much respect...   yah, i was harsh, but i told him 'xactly how i felt.   i didn't hide my vulnerabilities.   i was honest, sincere, n' harsh.   maybe i was even mean.   i was rude n' obnoxious.   i wasn't there to put on a front.   i just spoke to express my feelings.   no front.   so maybe he felt embarassed w/ me saying all this in front of laura, jerome, joon, n' kaela.   well, yah.   i felt pretty embarassed saying it all 2.   so he asked, "do u want to take this inside," i assume he meant inside 1 of our rooms, but frick!   what's the pt?   he started the conflict outside, so i told him, "no."   as much as i felt embarassed, n' i knew i was embarassing him... no.   i believe in sincerity n' honesty, n' letting my friends no what i'm all 'bout...   after all, frick, i'm writing 'bout it all here... n' maybe i've no right to air dirty laundry... but u know... it serves him right.   he already made me feel uncom4table w/ his behaviour 'round the apt... n' now he directly did this to my gf kaela...   i will not stand 4 it!

n' u know how this whole conflict winded down?   he started trying to say the whole situation started cos i should've asked him "permission" to bring kaela's computer over.   yah... sure that's "fair," but u know... ppl can also live naturally n' have pleasant lives w/o all this asking 4 permission crap...   what the heck!   i ask my superior's 4 permission...   my friends... they understand the difficulties in my life.   they understand the difficulties in my gf's life.     of course, they still could tell me they don't like what i'm doing, that my actions make them feel uncom4table, that my actions r harming them, that my actions r just not right... they can say that, n' they'd express it in the appropriate way, n' i'd take appropriate measures to fix things.   but they'd understand... they'd understand that kaela wants to spend more time w/ me n' she needs her computer w/ her to do her final that was due a few weeks 'go, altho' she got an extension cos she was sick...   n' 'bout that!   geez... i flat out told josh that w/ all his behaviour like this it makes kaela uncom4table even to werk on her final on her 'puter.   *sigh*   so man... u know, i won't stand 4 this, no.   n' that's why i blew up last nite.

n' then the conflict really started winding down... n' i don't remember every second, cos yah... admittedly, it was all pretty emotionally intense 4 me.   i 'member replying to something josh sed by saying, "u have a history, josh!"   n' then his last wurds were, "well, sorry if i didn't have everything handed down to me."   u know what that's 'bout?   well, this ain't nuthin' new.   this something josh has been openly bitter 'bout 2wards me.   he has this idea that i'm so spoiled, that my parents hand down so much cash upon me, that i get everything from my parents, that i don't werk 4 nething that i've ever gotten in my life.   well, guess what, josh... u don't think i ever think 'bout that?   my friends who read my journal know that i have extreme inner conflicts deep down 'bout all sorts of issues like this!   my dad thinks i'm materialistic.   my mom, in my past, tried to spoil me.   but my dad never believed in ne of that.   n' u know what? i don't believe in that.   i believe in werking hard; i believe in being productive n' contributing something to this world... but u know what else? i don't believe in materialism or money.   i have daily conflicts 'bout all this.   cos i'm only trying to do what's right.   josh 1nce sed that i'm homer simpson n' he's frank grimes.   u know who frank grimes is, right?   he's this 1tym char on the simpsons, this self.made man, an orphan who went thru all these hardships, n' put himself thru correspondence skool to get a ph.d. in nuclear physiks, n' then he werks next to homer simpson...   n' frank grimes thinks that homer has everything in the world, everything! n' he never werked @ all to attain it.   i'm not homer simpson, i belive in productivity.   n' u know... i don't really want to have to say nething 'bout josh...   when i moved into this apt... what did i bring w/ me?   a sleeping bag, an electric guitar, an amp, n' some cds.   i didn't have a bed, i didn't have a stereo...   no, it's not that i was "2 poor" to buy these things, but i thought long n' hard @ times 'bout minimalism, 'bout not being attached to tons of material things.   i didn't go off buying all sorts'a toys i don't play w/, like piano keyboards, rollerblades, bikes, guitars, etc... i thought josh spent so much cos he had all these things.   maybe he did, maybe he didn't.   i dunno.   but i knew he didn't use them much.   n' i thought he wasted his money pretty bad.   given he was paying 4 his own car, while i was mr. spoiled brat w/ cars handed down to me... but geez... it's not my fault he made such a bad finance deal w/ his dealer that it was taking 4ever to pay it off!   i'm sorry to say it, but that's his own fault.   n' i really thought this guy was pretty materialistic... he bought a cell fon... i didn't have a cell fon, i had a pager... that my friends gave me 4 my b.day...   u know... ok, none of this is my pt neway...   yah, i had things given to me... my mom paid my skool tuiton.   but then i also had jobs.   i've been employed since the 7th grade.   i don't say that to brag, but just to prove that yes... i have werked 4 money.   n' then i started my career @ ebmud... n' started earning my rent n' everything...   well, what 'bout josh?   i never saw him have a job back then!   n' i always werked from then on.   i never, unlike him, took a whole summer off where i didn't go to summer skool or didn't werk 4 money to pay the rent.   n' neway...   when josh got hired by his current employer... the company got bought out by siebel, yah.   n' then he went off n' called every1 he remotely knew to tell them that his company got bought out n' that he'd be a millionaire.   ok, i admit i can't tell what his intentions were by this, but u know, i didn't think 2 highly of these actions.   u know how it appeared to me n' others, that this guy was calling up ppl n' bragging that he had tons of cash.   *sigh*   well...   even if it were true that i had everything given to me by my parents... did i ever call ppl up to brag 'bout it?!

neway... it was absolutely wrong 4 him to say that i've had everything handed down to me.   bitterness is not justification, n' misplaced bitterness is even worse justification.   everyday, i think to myself, "man, am i just some lazy, 2nd generation american son?!"   i think 'bout that... n' i hate the idea!   i think 'bout s.mike's "4 every 3 generation, 1 falls," n' i hate it.   i want to make something of myself, n' i want to be productive, n' i want to contribute to this world.   i'm not out here 4 hedonism.   i know my dad werked hard as a 1st generation immigrant to this country.   i know my mom werked hard.   n' they're both educated.   i think 'bout that, n' i think 'bout how, in comparison, i'm such a failure... i think 'bout that all the time...   but'chu know what tho'... i wouldn't ever let josh compare his situation w/ that of ppl like my parents coming to this country n' werking hard!

so neway... that's my journal entry.   it's 634p, n' i'm here in my office still.   i stayed after to write this entry.   i wrote 'bout things i really think 'bout.   i wrote 'bout personal things.   yah, this is what i'd expect of a journal entry, i guess... whatever.   *sigh*

i don't have much time to write entries nowadays.   i'm gonna make this fast cos i wanna bust outta here n' go vote 4 gore.   this weekend, i had a lot of dreams, so i guess i was catching up on sleep.   i had some really bad dreams 1 morning, i think 'twas sat morn.   haven't had much time lately... no time to dream?   hrm...   there was sumpthin' i wanted to talk 'bout in my journal 2day, some topic, but i totally 4got... unless 'twas dreams...   *sigh*   last nite, after werk, i picked up the beautiful kaela kang.   we were gonna go to dinner @ katana-ya b4 going to target, but 'tis closed on mon nites.   so we went to sawooei #1 on san pablo.   kaela treated me out to dinner.   'twas good fud altho' we had 2 sit by these 2 loser redneck hick boys trying to proposition the waitress as if she were a prostitute.   it was pretty disgusting.   i think they were drunk.   if i were the owner of the restaurant, i wouldn't put up w/ those kinds of customers, but i dunno what the owner was thinking.   i think the waitress was her own daughter.   neway, we went to target, we bought some stuff...   we went home.   i peeled tons of persimmons... tons!   i figured, why just peel a few?

2day, i bought a dirt devil from osh, after eating a free roadrunner burrito from my buy 9 get 1 free burrito card that i filled.   i might return the vacuum cos i think it's cheaper @ circuit city, but i dunno if i have time.   i just chose the dirt devil cos kaela sed they have cute puppies on their commercial.   n' she also sed it werks well.

it's election eve.   be sure to go vote, i say.   vote 4 gore, vote 4 fienstein, vote 'gainst vouchers...   well, go vote.   so i went to san jo this weekend, n' we all hung out w/ nelson yee.   nelson's basically the same guy.   his hair is a brownish colour tho'.   n' he speaks mandarin chinese so much better now.

so on fri nite, we went out 2 movies!   1st we went to c x.men @ wheeler @ 700p.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i met up w/ jerome, andy, erin, erin's sister anne, laura, n' jocelyn; n' we saw x.men 4 the 2nd time.   then we went to la mediteranee, where jeff n' roland met us 4 dinner.   we had a nice dinner as a good sized group.   'twas really fun.   roland has some awesome pics from his sydney olympics trip!   wow!   i warned every1 that the portions'd be small, but i guess dinner portions r bigger than lunch portions.   ppl were pretty full.   i had chicken kebabs, like roland, but most ppl had the mediteranean sampler plate 'cept kaela who had the pomengranate chicken, n' joc who had the billet doux.   yup.   then jefflyn went home, n' roland parked his car in my parking space, n' we left to amc van ness 1000.   they were sold out of all charlie's angels tix, but we got tix to c meet the parents, n' nelson, his bro mike, n' his friend adam met us.   that was when i saw nelson 4 the 1st time in 2 yrs.   wow.   we saw jeff wang n' shun go into charlie's angels; that movie had a long, long line.   our movie was almost empty.   kaela n' i loved the movie n' laffed so much.   most others thought it was so lame.   *sigh*   i guess we have the same sense of humour.   i thought it was so funny how greg, ben stiller's protagonist char, could get into the most awkward situations.   i admit that some of robert deniro's char was a li'l 2 contrived, but i still liked the movie.   well, 'twas really late after the movie so we all just went home.   but nelson n' i got to catch up a bit.

sat, kaela n' i picked up laura n' we headed to the south bay.   we got home thru all the 880s traffic, then we snacked on some meat dumpling thingies from my mom's fridge.   u call them bawan or ro wan in taiwanese or mandarin.   we also snacked on all sorts'a cereal n' junk fud.   then i left the women home to werk on homewerk, n' i went to campbell fry's to buy a few stoopid, li'l things: a "free after rebate" power strip, some more coloured cd slim cases 4 benomix3s, n' some turkey jerky.   i took a look @ the hard drive n' scsi cards.   well, i came home.   steve was home.   we watched my sister on kpix talking 'bout the election.   we sat 'round 4 a while, then we went to ken's house to meet up w/ ken n' nelson.   i showed nelson a few pix from the past yr.   i gave them benomix3s.   nelson gave me this kewl chinese shirt from hk's shanghai tang clothing store, which is s'pposed to be quite a nice store.   it's a bit big, but i guess that gives it a baggy, hiphop style, right?   i guess i can wear it as outerwear, like a jacket.   then we went out to monet, a korean "hof" in sunnyvale on el camino.   we had lots to eat: golbaengi boochim, 2 tong dalk, haemool pajuhn, dduhkbokki... the portions r pretty small there!   we had some podo n' lemon soju n' 2 5000ccs.   gordon n' his gf enni joined us.   cathy yu made a brief appearance.   we talked n' talked.   n' then we visited ryan nishikawa's new cell fon store on deanza blvd.   he was there w/ his gf tiffany watching 28 days on carded dss.   he has a kicking/punching bag in the back, n' we had a li'l fun w/ that.   then we went back to ken's, where we fell asleep as we watched romeo must die on his carded dss.   we were tired.

sun, we slowly woke up.   we were s'pposed to leave 'round noon, so laura could meet up w/ her friend randy, but that didn't werk.   we had no clue 'bout our plans 4 the day 'cept that we had to help nelson fix his sis's 'puter.   i wanted to show them san jo, take them to some kewl places, but i was so disorganised.   we ended up eating some chicken salad n' crackers b4 i took them out 4 a short, short tour of almaden valley n' over to nelson's house.   we sat 'round.   mike talked to the ladies as nelson showed me tons of chinese n' japanese musik videos.   then we left in the late afternoon after adam stopped by to pick up some clothes he accidentally left @ nelson's.   kaela, laura n' i ate some chicken curry rice that my mom cooked 4 an early dinner.   we were tired.   we watched my sister do the news 'gain.   then we took off to berkeley.   i pondered stopping by krispy kreme.   but i didn't.

moonhee gave me some advice on life via an e.mail.   i hope u guys r reading moonhee kang's "life is good" illustrated daily journal.   it is highly beno.recommended reading.   u should read it.   neway, he gave me his thoughts n' life n' i cut n' pasted a line into my benoquote collection on my gbook page.   (dave kim added to benoquote, u should 2!)   he basically told me to be patient.   u know, lots'a older guys tell me that.   *sigh*   some things just come w/ age n' experience.   i c lots'a ppl succeed early in life.   some ppl r more successful than i am, some r less successful than i am...   how's that?   ok, 1st of all, u could say financially... or "careerwise."   hrm...     friends... peers try to push me this way n' that way "4 my own good," telling me i'll make tons'a money if i do this, do that... if i take up this job or that job... if i invest in this stock or that stock.   but i dunno...   sometimes i get really sick of all of it, altho' i do also sometimes appreciate "tips" n' advice, right?   sometimes i know what i want in life, but maybe some things r more possible than others.   n' sometimes i just plain don't know what i want.   *sigh*   well, greg yim told me that some things just take time, n' moonhee pretty much says the same to me.   i'll think 'bout his advice.

2day, i was moving the last of my stuff out of my old office n' into my new cube (cubicle).   i asked my supervisor if he wanted my old desk lamp, which i don't think i'll use.   he didn't want it.   so i brought it to the back bay, which is like a big version of a home garage.     i put it ontop of a shelf that's lying on its side.   i walked away.   it felt like i was abandoning a puppy.   *sigh* sad.   but i can't necessarily clutter up my cubicle w/ things i don't use.   i gotta keep it clean.   so i walked away from the lamp, trying to tell myself, "i'm not throwing it away, i'm just leaving it to find a new owner."   hrm... do ppl do that to each other?   "i'm not throwing this friend away, i'm just leaving it to find a new owner."   "i'm not throwing this lover away, i'm just leaving it to find a new owner."   hrm...   maybe it's a li'l funny to think 'bout...   yah, what 'bout friendship?   usually, u don't break friendships, u just let them die out.   but occasionally u have a dramatic person who needs to "break" friendships.   i have a friend who told me she broke up w/ a friend.   i thought that sounded a li'l funny.   *sigh*   well, i'd like to appreciate my friends.   i'd like to.   well, later, wei, the imaging technician asked 4 a lamp.   she has the cubicle next to mine.   i'll give her my old desk lamp.

i'd like to go shop @ trader joe's sometime.   my sis cms to always buy lots'a trader joe's stuff.   n' so does my mom.   n' so does my dad.   why should i be the odd 1 in the family?   there'r many kewl things to buy @ trader joe's, many more gourmetish kinds of things, n' it's not very expensive.

yesterday was grace n' steve's 4 yr wedding anniversary.   happy anniversary grace n' steve!

well, taekwondo practice went ok last nite.   but my throat is pretty sore from yelling so much.   then some of us had a late dinner @ mandarin house.   just a few: erin, jerome, laura, her sister mimi, the beautiful kaela kang, n' me.   yup yup.   well, 2nite.. hopefully, we'll watch charlie's angels, n' i'll c nelson 4 the 1st time in 2 yrs.   i'll try to write more later.   or maybe i'll write a li'l more now, but i gotta get outta here... it's lunch break 4 me, n' i gotta get to long's drugs to pick up some prints... neway, yah... i've been really thinking 'bout the idea that ppl should just live n' let live.   i'm thinking 'bout how i'd often rather ppl just let me live my life the way i want to, do the things i want to do in life, n' just butt out... i mean, don't tell me to follow 1 path in life or the other... just let me make my own decisions.   i sound like a kid, huh?   *sigh* "nooooo, let me do it!"   but seriously... there's things i like to do in life, things i want to do in life.   can't i just live my life?   i don't haft'a please every1.   k, i gotta break outta here 4 lunch.   i'll try to write more later.

[later, 521p]   so yah, i'm adding more "later," which is now.   i'd like to thank dave kim 4 adding a quote to benoquote.   every1 should add a quote!   it's on my g.book page.   c, this is a place where u can 4ce ur opinions onto others n' say that u'r so wise, so every1 should do whatchu say.   that's surely not "live n' let live," but here it's excusable.   *sigh*   so where was i going w/ that topic?   i dunno, but it's now time 4 me to get outta here cos i wanna go watch x-men 'gain @ wheeler @ jerome, andy, n' laura, n' kaela.   then we'll maybe eat.   then we'll meet nelson n' his friend adam n' ne of nelson's siblings @ 1000 van ness 4 charlie's angels.   bizzy nite 'head, huh?   will roland join us?

so now i'm back in a office cubicle.   i spent the most of the day moving my stuff into my new cubicle.   i have a window now.   last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i carved a pumpkin.   yah, i know it's a li'l late; 'twas the day after halloween...   but 'twas very fun.   actually, lessee... 1st after werk, i met up w/ kaela @ her skool of public health day of the dead party.   we had quesadillas, cheese tamales, guacamole, agua fresca...   n' i met her friends cynthia n' margaret... but margaret right 'way looked very familiar to me.   i was sure she played clarinet w/ me in hs band.   i kept thinking, "nah, i prob'ly just always think i know every1..." so i didn't bother to ask.   but then on our way out, i quietly asked kaela.   then she thought it was perfectly fine 4 her to ask margaret if she was from san jo.   n' margaret sed yes, so i went 'right 'head n' asked, "didju go to leland?"   she was sorta shocked, so i knew 'twas a yes, so i sed, "u were in band, huh? i played clarinet w/ u!"   then she realised who i was... but back then, in band, ppl'd call me "bernie."   well nowadays, i don't want ne1 to call me "bernie."   'tis "beno," all in lower case, please.   *sigh*   neway, after we finished n' dropped cynthia off @ her apt., we carved the pumpkin.   'twas fun, n' we took pics of it.   it looks a li'l like scratchy from itchy n' scratchy.   we put a black candle in it, n' let it glow in the dark bathroom 4 a while.   we roasted the pumpkin seeds in the oven.   they were really good!   2nite, i'll lead werkout @ taekwondo.   it's time to plan 4 the weekend.   i think i like my move to the cubicle, even if it's a cubicle.   it's a nice cubicle, n' it's a refreshing change of pace.   i tried a new concept 2day, the 2 min e.mail.   i'm hoping if i limit myself to 2 mins an e.mail, i won't waste so much time writing e.mail.   u think it'll werk?   please add quotes to my benoquote list.   that's all located on my gbook page

yesterday, i got a fon call from my ol' friend nelson yee.   i hadn't heard from him in many ages.   he's been living in hk.   actually, other than that, i really don't know much more 'bout what he's been up to 4 the past 2 yrs.   he never really mentioned it, altho' we talked 4 'bout 30 mins yesterday afternoon.   he asked lotta questions 'bout me, n' i answered them, but i never got a chance to squeeze in a single question 'bout him.   n' we talked 'bout stocks n' 'puters 4 a while 2...   but still no mention of what he's been up to.   *sigh*   ken n' i talked 'bout this n' nelson b4, that we can never get out of him what he's up to, whilst we divulge all 'bout what we're up to...   hrm...   i mean, i'll assume the best, nelson...   'course, his brutha told us his version of what nelson's been up to in hk...   but well, i'd like to hear it from nelson's mouth.

so well, i'm sick, yah.   i felt really fluish yesterday.   @ werk, i was doing lots'a manual labour... u know what i've sed 'bout my werk b4: it's a small company, so every1's gotta pitch in w/ the li'l menial things 2.   so i was building my new cubicle n' rearranging the entrance door cos my new cubicle blocks the old entrance.   i had to move the cylinder door closer thing.   that was frustrating n' greasy.   @ 1 pt, i had to take a snickers break.   can u believe snickers bars used to be considered sports fud?!   like powerbars... weird.   well, i knew i was 'not going newhere 4 a while.'   it's so dark when i leave werk now that daylite savings time is over.   since taekwondo werkouts haven't been overly intense (physically) lately, i went to practice.   laura hurt her ankle 'gain.   nuts.   she gave us rice krispy treats n' candy.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i got take out from shk n' medicine from n.side safeway.   i'm teaching the taekwondo advanced class on thurs cos every1 else is out of town.   i've got things in mind.

2day is phil's b.day!   lemme tell u... *sigh*   phil is a genuinely nice guy.   i feel good talking to phil.   he's humble.   he genuinely wants to listen n' wants to help, n' also is capable of building true friendship thru sharing his own life w/ his friends.   yup.   phil, 1 of the 1st ppl i met @ cal.   happy b.day phil!   phil's 25 like me now.

just 4 kicks 2day, i checked out the old mud i used to play, eotl, or "the revenge of the end of the line."   it's still there.   boy, oh boy, how many times, when i was a freshman i typed "telnet mud.stanford.edu 2010," so many times!   *sigh*   they have a webpage: http://www.eotl.org.

so i'm sick... sore throat.   yuck.   *sigh*   last nite was a stay@home nite.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i cooked fud n' stuff.   we had a simple dinner: kaela's yummy oyster mushrooms, some sausages, kim chee, kim, n' rice.   'twas simple but i ate 'lot.   i felt like i ate 2 dinners cos i ate 1nce while kaela was taking a nap.   then i had a 2nd serving w/ her when she woke up.   then we made a trip to safeway... that's all.   maybe it sounds like a really boring evening to u, but oh well... i'm sick, what crazy n' wild stuff could i possibly do?   neway, we cooked last nite, but my roommate... geez!   well, i only have 1 roommate, n' most of u know who it is...   so he got all pissed off or something.   i mean he's already pissed off that kaela's computer's on the kitchen table which he never uses since he never cooks cos he always eats out or gets take out n' eats while sitting on the couch (which is mine as well as the kitchen table) n' watching tv instead...   so he's pissed off or something, n' this morning i find out he's taken away the toaster oven n' rice cooker.   tss...   whatever!   he can try all he wants w/ these material things to make my life less happy...   life isn't all 'bout material things!   i have happiness in other things.   maybe he's bitter that i have a relationship n' true love.   i dunno... i've noticed he gets bitter 'bout that kind of stuff from his actions in the past.   in ne case, he can take 'way all this material stuff, make me buy a rice cooker n' toaster oven... but whatever!   i'm just glad i'm not a mean spirited jerk!   he 1nce sed that when he came to america, his relatives took financially took advantage of his family, so he learned that he has to take advantage of ppl b4 they take advantage of him.   k, well... maybe that helps us understand where he's coming from, but still!!! it doesn't make it right!   geez... if u wanna be such a selfish jerk, then yah... well, ppl won't like u.   it's not that popularity is everything... it's just that... well, maybe there's something to be sed 'bout not being a jerk.

oh well!   i wish i didn't hafta talk 'bout such nasty things on my journal, but i guess nasty ppl do nasty things, n' it's sometimes part of our lives.   so i just talk 'bout my life here.   well, i'll try to find something nicer to talk 'bout...   yesterday, i had lunch @ the long life noodle co. in corte madera.   i didn't like my 1st long life noodle co. experience @ the berkeley location.   but i had a better experience this time.   i ordered the double happiness, which is egg noodle soup w/ bbq pork n' wontons.   the wontons were mushy, but the dish was better than i expected.   i just wanted something soupy 4 my sore throat.   it rained on my as i left the restaurant.   2day is halloween.

so oktober comes to an end.   weird, huh?   *sigh*   well, 'twas a filled weekend; no lazy sunday like last week.   fri nite, we ate @ venture frogs in amc van ness 1000 n' watched almost famous.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i had the same thought at the same time right after the movie: phil should watch this movie.   weird, i was thinking it, then she sed it.   we just figured he's more clued in w/ 70s rock than we r.   n' well, it's a pretty fun movie altho' we didn't totally relate to the 70s rock scene.   venture frogs was ok, but a li'l disappointing.   maybe we went on a bad nite.   who went?   andy, jerome, jeff, jocelyn, kaela, n' me.   sat: i did laundry, n' we had demo team practice.   that nite, laura, brandie, kaela, n' i went clubbing @ s.factory.   'twas pretty fun.   it was better than i had expected.   like, i 'member sat nite's @ s.factory as being pretty lame, but... well, 'twasn't as good as a k2 fri, but 'twas better than when sat nites were produkt.   sam sa was tending bar.   we ate @ nation's in el cerrito afterwards.   mmm.. i hadn't had a nation's 2 egger w/ burger patty in ages.   that's what i like there.   yum, yum.   sun, we woke up early 'nuff to go out n' get dim sum: andy, jerome, joon, erin, kaela, n' i.   'twas laura's idea, but she wasn't there.   then we went shopping @ pusan plaza.   then kaela n' i went to costco.   i started getting a sore throat.   now i'm sick.   well, this journal entry was just a listing of what i did.   sorry.

this journal entry will involve lots'a talk 'bout tech stuff, i guess.   well, 1st off.   wow, roland...   wow!   kewl...   u know what roland did?   u know what he did 4 me?   he registered benomix.com 4 me!   so now, to access my page, u can just use http://www.benomix.com!!!!   wow!   roland's such a thoughtful guy, i gotta say.   thanks, roland!   he set up the reflect 4 the domain name, n' he also set up a reflect 4 my new e.mail, beno@benomix.com.   wow!   kewl!   *sigh*   i dunno how to thank u 'nuff!

so yesterday wuz a typical thurs.   i came home from werk.   we went to taekwondo practice.   then we left early right @ 1000p.   the beautiful kaela kang needed to get some things done, so we went straight home.   i cooked us some semi.cheesy chicken pasta stuff... some bagged frozen thing that u stir fry.   again, i felt so housewifeish.   it's sort'a like this hamburger helper type thing, but it's frozen, n' the chicken's included.   2day, my company had a lunch party.   'twas fun, n' we had good fud from il fornaio.   i have some leftovers here @ my desk.

i really gotta get my 'puter all straightened out.   i really do.   i need to buy a large hard drive.   i think i'll stick to scsi...   but i need a new scsi card, a better 1.   i think i need to get a adaptec 19160... but i don't cm to be able to find many places that sell that.   some places have the 29160, but i need the 50 pin ultra scsi / scsi-1 external connector 4 kaela's scanner.   hrm... so the 29160n is ok 2, but the other adaptec 160 family scsi controllers won't do.   boy, oh boy, oh boy.   n' i wanna get a 2nd scsi cdrom drive.   hrm...   what to do? all this stuff, i gott get, install... n' then i gotta do more software / app installing... *sigh* i never have time to do this kind'a stuff.   *sigh*   if only i had my home 'puter w/ me @ werk n' could werk on it @ werk.   *sigh* man, n' scsi stuff's such a rip off...   n' shouldn't i upgrade my cpu n' stuff?   *sigh*   what to do?

well, it's weekend.   i'm sitting here in my office 4 no good reason 'cept to finish this journal entry.   i'm gonna lose this office n' move to a cubicle next week.   sucks, huh?   oh well.   it's halloween weekend!   we'll have demo team practice on sat.   i think some of us r going to venturefrogs 2nite.   i hope so.   kaela n' i have never been there, but we always c it.   i still haven't written my dine.com review of xanadu...   but i will.   i'm listening to nova sonic's slam (video killed the radio star) on mp3.   interesting.   yah, it's nice to hear korean musik that isn't so industry pop-ish, something more, uh, i dunno... alternatrashish.   i guess it's sorta punk, or something.   i think i'll get this album from angelpop/angelcd soon.   ha... i'm mentioning all my "sponsors."   ha...   well, it's not like i really get much money from them, but... eh!   if my site ever generates tons of traffic every day, then maybe i'll make a buck or 2.   i get a shiny quarter 4 each person who signs up 4 dine.com using my link, n' "beno@ocf.berkeley.edu" as the referrer.   ha.   1 quarter = 20 mins of parking!   parking, precious parking.   yah, i like this nova sonic stuff.   oh, roland, i added ur quote to the benoquotes on my gbook intro page!   i hope u don't mind.

the rain continued 2day.   supposedly, it won't rain on sat, but it'll rain 4 every other day 4 a while.   well, that's what y! weather sed yesterday, i think.   oh, ok, well, now it sez that it'll be sunny 2morrow, but o'er the weekend it'll rain.   then it'll be sunny 'gain on mon.   sun... partly cloudy, whatever.   yah, it actually sez "partly cloudy," not sunny 4 fri n' mon.   neway!   u can look up y! weather on ur own time.   right now u'r listening to me n' all the nonsense i wanna say!   u bet!   *nod* *nod* *nod*   well, it's still raining 2day, blue rain.   but last nite i took the beautiful kaela kang to the pumpkin patch n' bought 2 small pumpkins.   the guy there charged us $3 n' $2 4 a total of $5.   i dunno where he got those prices from, but eh! $5 was a fair price 4 some halloween cheer, i figured.   nething 4 my special kaela!   *smile*   neway, we bought pumpkins, stopped by walgreen's 4 kaela to get sudafed, n' we went to eat @ katana ya.   'twas a good warm dinner.   that's a good restaurant, a bit underrated, i think.   but it has a loyal customer base.

so lately, i wonder if i'm losing old friends.   hrm...   am i?   is there just not enuf time in this world now 4 old friends to stay friends n' do friend stuff?   i dunno.   maybe i've pissed off 'bunch'a my ol' friends recently.   i care more 'bout some than others, maybe.   some i've lost touch w/, some i cm to have gotten impatient w/ lately, some r just 2 bizzy, some i cm just 2 bizzy 4.   i dunno.   what's going on?   has the world just become a less friendly place.   that might be it.   n' i could be a tuff guy n' just act like i don't care.   in some cases maybe that's the best thing to do.   now maybe certain ppl reading this think i'm talking 'bout them, huh?   i dunno.   or maybe none of the ppl i'm talking 'bout read this.   i dunno.   maybe it's a time in my life where i'll lose some old friends n' gain some new friends.   is there a time 4 that?   why have friends?   is it just so we can borrow stuff?   no, it's fun to do stuff w/ other ppl.   hrm...   but u could get all existential n' say it's all fake... that there's no functionality in certain friendships, this n' that...   that's pretty existential, isn't it?   i dunno.   hrm...   maybe it's easier to make new friends than maintain old friendships... uh... yah, i guess that goes w/o saying 4 many ppl... like, ppl who rn't truly nice ppl, right?   ppl who r just nice when u meet them, but when u hang w/ them long 'nuff u realise, "man, this person's a mean person.   i don't like him."   yah, there r ppl like that, i guess.   but i was just thinking... if i can't find all my old friends, is it all that big of a deal?   well, i dunno... yah, in some cases it is.   blabber, blabber, blabber.

so that last paragraph went no where.   i just sorta thought out loud 4 a while.   neway, there's other stuff i was gonna say... oh yah!   u know, sometimes i think i'll never be as fit as i was a yr 'go when i was on competition team.   hrm... u think?   well, i won't surrender to just getting completely out.of.shape of course.   i didn't get a whole lott'a sleep back then tho'; i get more sleep now.   yah, think 'bout how my life has changed in the past yr...   n' i still owe phil an e.mail, right?   well, the weekend is coming up.   who wants to hang w/ beno?   aw, c'mon!   i'm a hip, happenin' dude... *sigh*

last nite, taekwondo practice.   that's 'bout it.   2day i found out that the imaging / operations dept of my company is moving to corte madera.   that means altho' i'm moving depts, i'm staying in the same location.   phew!   this is great!   i don't hafta deal w/ the sf commute!   i'm very happy, yes.   as soon as i bust outta here, i'm gonna take the beautiful kaela kang to a pumpkin patch n' get her a halloween pumpkin.   oh, i added some stuff to my g.book, didju c?   yah, now u can add something to the benoquote collection.   don't i owe phil an e.mail?   phil's a quotable guy.   i bought my southwest ticket to go to kaela's folks' place new yr's week.

boy, oh boy...   i've got a sore in the middle of my upper back.   it's been there 4 'bout the past week.   a massage'd be nice, yes.   windy weather; i've got dry skin.   so how's life, y'all?   yesterday, i left werk, i drove home.   i saw chals walking up dwight, so i gave him a short ride up to telly.   then i went home.   i cooked dinner 4 the beautiful kaela kang.   i felt very domestic.   i made a housewife's meal: portabello mushroom tortellini w/ classico portabello mushroom marinara sauce n' some stirfried "asian" veggies (from a frozen bag) w/ some italian seasoning.   no, i didn't handmake the tortellini; 'twas from a safeway select package.   so i felt very house uh... wifeish...   we ate dinner on the floor of my room on the babsang that she bought @ kim's kajang or whatever it's called down in l.a. k.town.   the strangest thing happened after we ate; we both passed out, asleep.   'twas as if i had put tranquilizers in the fud!   'twas weird...   neway, i woke kaela up cos she had to do hw.   i figured if i played loud musik, she'd stay 'wake.   i 1st put in cleo 3.   after that album, my sony 5 disc changer refused to play nemore korean cds.   i tried.   then i cleaned the lens n' tried a few more time.   nope!   so i tried some english cds.   we listened to the ol' warren g album...   ah, those were the days... *sigh* listening to those tracks made me feel like a young lad 'gain...   i 'member those days of west coast gangsta rap... *sigh*   then after warren g, i put in tlc's fanmail since i hadn't heard it in a long time.   we watched simpsons.

i hope toby's doing ok fixing up his 'puter...   he was talking to me 2 nites 'go 'bout it, b4 we left to safeway.   he was pretty frustrated.   uhm... u know... so i guess i'm accepting a promotion @ my job.   hrm... i usually don't talk 'bout these professional career issues here, uh... i guess cos employers / potential employers can read this webpage n' stuff like that.   but i guess i'm taking a position @ my company where i'll be more tied in w/ engineering support 4 operations.   this means, i'll be werking in sf most of the time, starting from a coupl'a weeks from now till my company finishes moving to corte madera, which could be next spring.   wow... i can't believe that i'll be battling sf traffic 'gain.   but 'course sf has its big city charm... sometimes i gotta admit i'd rather be stuck in traffic in sf than all sorts'a other places.   i sit in my freeway lane, n' i marvel @ all the hi rises n' the beautiful bay etc.   *sigh* heh, gotta put it in a positive light somehow, right?   well, i just worry tho'...   that this commute time'll cut into my personal time.   i wonder if i'll have time to write journal entries every day...   *sigh*   neway, i'm 25... maybe it's fine.   it's good to take care of my career life.   i don't wanna feel lost, after all.   it's good to have direction; n' it's good to make progress.

yah, i'm 25.   what's w/ me?   sometimes i'm all off spewing this garbage 'bout how i'm so in.between generations... ha ha.   why?   give it a rest, why don't i?   howzabout if i stop going 'round grumbling 'bout how kids these days have it so much easier n' how i'm not really part of gen.x, n' just live life?   howzabout it?   just take care of things.   "the simple life," i always ponder.   last nite i read the subaru drive magazine, n' it had a feature 'bout some author who writes 'bout "simple living."   she sed she n' her husband packed up from the west coast, moved out to the east coast, n' now live on her parents' apple farm.   but already, her profession was freelance writer... n' now what is it? it's still freelance writer.   so what difference does it make?   hrm... maybe she was a columnist b4 or something... n' her husband was a writer of some sort 2... but now they pick apples... the cider house rules... n' they write n' make tons of money preaching "simple living," right?   she had some advice: 1) live in the present, 2) sacrifice career n' money 4 time w/ family n' friends, 3) spend time w/ nature, 4) drive a subaru.   oh, n' i think she sed something 'bout budgeting ur money... 5) think hard 'bout ur purchases, consult friends, c what u can swap instead of buying.   that's true.   if we could all be a big group of friends, we'd be netwerked, n' we could share goods, instead of needing to buy 1 of each thing 4 each person...   back in hs amongst our asian clique / church group / youth group / this.that, i felt it was almost possible.   it's a perfect commune.like idea, right?   yah, i think it's beautiful, the idea of friends taking care of friends.   borrow my cd, copy it, return it.   i borrow ur cd, copy it return it.   we don't all need colour printers, i can borrow urs.   we don't all need scanners, u can barrow ... kaela's!   but ask her 1st.   u get it, tho?   imagine if we could all get 'long like that.   *sigh*   "imagine all the ppl..."   can u believe yoko ono was on that mad about you episode?   'twas a rerun i saw last week or so...   but imagine if we could live in that proposed environment... we could all live in a big house n' take turns cooking...   supermike had that dream 4 the cal taekwondo p.crew.   that's a co.op, i guess.   *sigh*   but it doesn't werk...   how would we have found a big house in berkeley?

neway, "simple living."   i stopped taking naps b4 practice lately.   i've been getting plenty of sleep these past few days.   i haven't been to 168 or koko house in ages!   in fact, i haven't been to the durant fud ghetto or daruma in a while either.   i guess it's either some fancy restaurant or else home cookin'.   i gotta do laundry soon.   i try to keep the apt cleaner n' reduce clutter.   man, oh man... apt biz, lemme tell u... *sigh*   hrm... let's think 'bout the simple life, shall we?

let's ponder a short excerpt from my e.mail to sandy: "i've been sleeping more lately.   my office provides soda, chips, n' candy.   that's bad. why can't they provide good.4.me fud?   crazy...   i can't wait to go snowboarding.   i think autumn is getting to me n' kaela, in that it's making us sleepy.   i 'member how autumn'd make me sleepy back when i was in skool.   i'd come home n' fall asleep instead of doing hw."   yah, my office provides soda (diet or regular), chips, n' candy...   yah, why don't they give us bagels n' fruit every morning instead...   oh well...   yah, i wanna get to know socal geography better cos most of my socal friends only know so much of it; but it's understandable.   if i hadn't gone to college in the bay area, i'd only know san jo n' vicinity; but since i went to cal, i had time to explore, n' now i much better know my way 'round the whole bay area.   n' i like knowing my way 'round tahoe/reno.   i'm gonna take new yr's week off n' go down south to kaela's home.   then i'm gonna take mlk, jr. day off to spend that weekend snowboarding in tahoe.   those r my plans.   i am what i am.

does ne1 remember a mod group called 7 red 7 that had a "hit" single "thinking of you"?   'member the chorus? "you let me... you let me down... but i'm still thinking of you."   ah, i found a website that has.. upes, no! dead link... *sigh*   i'd like to find the mp3...   i had the cassette single, but i dunno if i still have it, or if my mom threw it away.   *sigh*   this was a "mod" song.   by 2day's standards, u might call it "freestyle," i dunno.   it's that "mod" stuff... the stuff that sounded like depeche mode wannabes... like camouflage, red flag, n' cause & effect.   there's that lim changjuhng song "kippeun oori" that's in that style, altho' it's pretty recent.

so how was ur weekend?   i hope u'r not sick.   the beautiful kaela kang is a li'l sick.   i know moonhee's sick.   well, all sick ppl, i hope u get better.   'twas a sunny but violently windy weekend in the bay area.   my weekend?   oh, u'r interested?   well, fri was kaela n' beno's 9th monthversary as i sed.   so i took kaela to xanadu.   perry likes xanadu, n' i read numerous positive reviews 'bout it.   i'll prob'ly post a dine.com review soon.   it's a truly pan.asian restaurant... not so much a fusion restaurant, i s'pposed, but they call it "restorasian cuisine."   in my opinon, this is asian fusion cuisine, n' what most ppl call asian fusion cuisine is... hrm... more on the american/european side of asian fuision... but eh! maybe all i've done is shift the spectrum over a li'l.   i really enjoyed eos, when we went, n' it's asian fusion, but xanadu is more on the asian side of the spectrum that eos.   altho' it looks pretty humble from its old train station exterior, it's very beautiful on the inside w/ dim lighting.   u know what i romanticise?   u know all those end of the chinese empire movies that came out like 10 yrs 'go?   like the last emperor...   i liked that east.west mix of culture that u saw in those movies, altho' i'm sure it wasn't all that good.   i mean, u saw the royalty n' upper class party, n' it sure looks like fun, but i'm sure it was an awful time, 'specially if u weren't 1 of them.   neway, from those movies, tho', i sometimes romanticise a setting, n' the decor of xanadu reminds me of that romanticised setting.   we had great fud.   ha, all reviews say the service @ xanadu is very inexperienced, n' u know... they r very right!   eh, i'm not a snob tho'.   what am i s'pposed to say? "u fool! don'tchu know how to pick a wine 4 me! away w/ u!"   yah, right!   i'd rather have an unknowledgeable waiter than a snooty waiter neday!   it's very understandable to me how ne waiter could be not so experienced @ xanadu...   the cuisine is so eccletic... only the chef himself could explain it to u.   even if u were asian; our waiter happened to be african.american; but even an asian sever'd have a hard time explaining the dishes, even w/ his/her cultural background... xanadu's cuisine includes dishes w/ influence from all corners of asia! china, india, korea, thailand...   if u were that knowledgeable 'bout all different asian fuds, u might not wanna werk as a waiter... u'd prob'ly be off writing restaurant reviews 4 dine.com.   ha ha ha.   it was a great dinner!   i wanted to linger.   i ate 2 fast, we ate 2 fast.   we were starving when we got there, n' we ate 2 fast.   i wished they had brought out the meal 1 dish per course.   that'd've been better.   after we took a few snapshots @ the restaurant, we left, driving off a li'l aimlessly.   eh, i didn't want to call it a nite just yet.   movie?   no, we were maybe not up 4 that, so we went to reel video n' got the 1st 2 tapes of the ranma 1/2 series.   kaela had never cn it b4.

sat was a productive day, as i sed.   we woke up, went to the snow/skate expo @ the san mateo expo center.   kewl stuff!   we each got 2 free tix to sierra n' northstar... then we found out later that they're only good mon - fri... whah?!   neway, who was there? dave yee, jocelyn, roland, the beautiful kaela kang, n' me.   we got lots'a freebies, adverts, n' technical documentation from manufacturers.   roland bought a complete snowboard.   kaela n' i bought adidas goggles.   we needed nicer goggles.   i bought a cheap snowboard bag, which is more of a cover, n' a snowboard backpack.   they were pretty cheap n' from some vendor/manufacturer called piper bags or something... they had some waterburdy as their logo.   i guess it's some sort of sandpiper, right?   neway, we left the expo, n' we luncheoned in burlingame @ isobune; yummy sushi.   we had just driven down el camino real, n' we spotted it.   kaela treated me to lunch.   then we picked up her kia from the service center; then we hurried back 4 demo practice.   that nite we went out to jack london to watch pay it forward w/ dave, andy, joc, jeff, roland, laura, n' jerome.   we got j.box on the way, n' i had my 1st ultimate ch.burger.   i'd better not make it a habit, altho' it was very tasty.   pay it forward was a pretty good movie, altho' it did have some major loose threads.   after the movie, we went back to jerome n' andy's.   i played tony hawk's proskater on andy's playstation 4 a while.

sun was 1 of the laziest days of my life!   i didn't even leave the apartment till kaela n' i went to safeway @ 'bout midnite.   whoa, what a lazy day!   *sigh*   crazy.   just so u know, i'm pretty pissed off @ my roommate 4 being a total jerk 'bout the fact that kaela has her computer on the kitchen table which i own, n' which we never use otherwise.   what's the big deal?   it's not like he doesn't spend hours after hours on the couch which i own in the living watching tv, so that if i wanted to do something else in the living room, i couldn't... not even on my own couch.   phuc that!   what a jerk...   he sez it's 'bout "space."   well, phuc that, there's tons of wasted space in our apt...   what 'bout all his books that he put on my bookshelf in the living room?   i debated w/ myself whether to talk 'bout this on my public journal, but whatever... i'm pretty pissed.   he ought to be nicer, if he doesn't want this $#!+ to happen.   oh well!

neway, who wants to end a journal entry on such a rotten note?   let's go on to talk 'bout other stuff.   this upcoming weekend is halloween weekend, 4 what it's worth.   yes, i told kaela we'd get a pumpkin, n' we will.   halloween is such a fun time of yr when u'r a kid.   i've already toldju the story of how my dad built me that big pac man costume 1 yr, right?   i'm sure i did.   n' how i fell down some steps n' kept rolling cos the costume was so round...   yes, i did!   please refer to 12 june, 2000 "characteristic polynomial."   well, speaking of family, i had a dream 'bout my grandma calling me this morning, my grandma on my dad's side.   i hope she's ok.   it was just so random to dream 'bout her.   kaela dreams 'bout her grandmutha', but i usually don't.   *sigh* it'll be christmas gift shopping time b4 i know it.   i 'member how liane, last yr, finished her christmas shopping a long time b4 christmas.   i wish i could be like that.   there's been times that i did most of my christmas shopping on christmas eve.   well, well, well...   am i not still looking 4 that "simple life"?   *sigh*   or am i?   what do i want?   "the simple life" or to feel "young n' alive"?   they rn't necessarily the same thing, but do they haft'a be opposites?   i'm not sure.

9 months of kaela n' beno.

last nite, the beautiful kaela kang's sister jeanna came over to pick up her keyboard that i picked up from their brutha jay down in irvine; n' she stayed to watch 1 episode of simpsons w/ us.   not much happened last nite, but i got to nap.   that's good.   not much has happened... so why am i posting an entry?   i dunno.   this morning, i had a li'l trouble getting to werk cos i accidentally parked in a construction zone.   kaela's had her car in my space cos we're taking it to the service center this evening.   i parked on the street.   well, 'least i didn't get towed n' didn't get a ticket, but i had to wait 4 the right roofing werker to come down from the neighbouring apt bldg to move the truck that was blocking my car.   that took a while...   well, hrm... 2nite after i bust outta here, i'll go to san leandro to pick up kaela from the service center, then i'll go to practice.   i'm glad kaela's feeling better now.   hrm... well, i don't have much to say right now...   this sat morn, kaela n' i'll go to the snowboard/skate expo in san mateo to pick up our free lift tix.   we'll have taekwondo demo team practice on sat afternoon.   2morrow nite, i'll take kaela out 4 our 9th monthversary.   i was supposedly giving kaela's anonymous friend advice 'bout guys.   she asked if all guy's have wandering eyes...   *sigh*   i don't think so... but some guys do... n' well "other" gurls do exist in this world... n' well, if i didn't know what other gurls look like, how could i have standards or ne basis to say kaela's so beautiful?   just cos i c other gurls doesn't mean @ all that i check them out.   there's a difference.   but also 'member when chals sed that, when he knows a gurl's just walked into the room, a guy's instinct is to look.   hrm... but that doesn't necessarily mean "check out," right?   whatchu think?   i had lots to say in my letter to kaela's anonymous friend, but i don't have much to say in this journal entry, no.   2morrow's fri!   phew, i'm very glad.   somehow it's been a really long week...   can't wait.

*sigh* so i skipped a day now, huh?   shoot...   i got 2 caught up w/ stuff, so i didn't post yesterday.   yesterday, was my dad's b.day.   happy b.day, dad!   well, yesterday... i went to safeway 3 times!   can u believe that?   the beautiful kaela kang was sick yesterday...   i went to safeway to get her cranberry juice n' canned soup on my way home from werk.   i had already gone 1nce to safeway during my lunchbreak to buy some lunchfud.   i went to taekwondo practice, but kaela stayed home cos she's sick n' she has a take home final due 2day.   i ordered us some takeout from shk (sun hong kong), n' i went to safeway 'gain while i waited 4 the fud to be done.

early this morning, i took kaela to the hospital.   (i didn't get much sleep last nite.   nuts.)   i hope she's better now.   in case u ever need to know, the 51st n' telly walgreens has a 24 hr pharmacy.   well, what's up?   argh!   i just had to deal w/ reddy realty.   ugh!   they gave me this late notice 'bout our rent, but i did pay the rent!   i called them... the biz is sorted out, but they say that we pay our rent late every month...   well, actually, me n' josh pay separately...   man, i don't wanna deal w/ reddy realty n' their biz... *sigh*   sure, i wish i owned a nice, big mansion in the middle of the berkeley campus area.   sure, that'd be great.   n' all my friends could come n' live w/ me.   yes, that'd be kewl.   oh well... i'm just 'nother alumnus who's clogging up the berkeley rental housing market.   what if i were to go back to grad skool?   *sigh* what if...   but *sigh* yah, here's beno in the middle of berkeley, going off 'bout how kids these days r so spoiled, n' he's off stealing their housing!   hrm... ok, that sounds cynical n' bitter...   ha ha... n' what 4?   i dunno... but i know i didn't get much sleep last nite.   i eat vitamins 4 energy.   i hope i get to either nap or sleep early 2nite.

while sitting in the waiting room i saw the morning news: gore n' bush debated, there was a big fire in sf this morning, there's a new doggy cologne called "oh my dog!", the yankees'll play the mets in the subway series, the uss cole sailors come home 4 a memorial...   i saw the same headlines go 'round n' 'round on ch. 2, w/ sal castaneda doing the traffic.   of course i'm gonna vote 4 gore n' not bush!   so i sat there in the alta bates waiting room.   yes, the 1st time i had ever been there was w/ kaela back in the april of 1999... she was mentioning it 2 days 'go cos it was part of the lost entries! weird, huh? 28 april, 1999 "learning to fall."

oh, that's right!   mon nite!   i took kaela out to dinner @ lalime's cafe on gilman!   ha ha.   i haven't talked 'bout that yet, huh?   she had gotten such a good grade on her spanish midterm, n' she just finished her biostat midterm, so i wanted to take her out to dinner.   i heard 'bout lalime's, n' it sounded like a classy place.   it is.   we had sweetbreads, salad, fish entrées, pumpkin bread pudding... kaela had green tea... she also had a muscat, n' i had a non.alkoholic beer.   i never get to have non.alkoholic beer cos no 1 ever wants to buy it, but i got to have it that nite!   sweetbreads... pancreas.   i thought 'twas brains, n' kaela that 'twas liver.   well, we bit into it, n' we knew 'twasn't liver, so we thought 'twas brains.   i found out tues morn, via net research, that 'tis pancreas.   it was a delicious dinner.   all the reviews, dine.com n' otherwise, sed that the service is phenomenally unpretentious there.   yah, it's not 2 bad.   u should check out my dine.com review of lalime's... when the post it up.

so kaela was discussing an issue yesterday evening, n' it's true...   k, this is sort'a a future, down the line kind'a thing... but we were talkin' 'bout well, like naming kids... cos u c... well, the whole asian name thing...   k, if we, me n' kaela, have kids, then we'll haft'a give them names... i guess... i mean, eventually u gotta, right?   but then... she brought up the pt... what we would name our kids... as far as asian (korean/chinese) names would depend on what grace n' steve do 4 their kids... cos the kids of the generation would have similar names... like share the 1st name/character...   she sed it's complicated, but i don't think it's complicated.   it's very easy.   n' to make it all even easier, i have that hagul/hanja chart from korea w/ all the characters n' what they mean... well, not all the characters, but many.   so yah... that was just something we discussed.   i can't wait to go snowboarding... but @ this moment, i also want to sleep.

i just discovered 2day that, somehow, a chunk of my beno journal was missing...   it's weird...   how did it all start?   i was doing my routine check of café chulho to c if chals has given up his li'l strike or whatever u wanna call this hiatus... the banner ad asked me to submit a poem n' win cas$h.   well, i'm no poet, but it sounded easy 'nuff to cut n' paste the poem i knew i had written in the beno journal some time 'go... the poem called "free not to choose today."   so i cruised to the beno journal n' tried to find it to cut n' paste it... but 'twas missing!   whuh?   i searched n' searched...   i couldn't figure it out...   i distinctly remembered its existence cos i 'member when my dad printed out my whole journal n' sent it to my mom, n' i found it on her office desk.   when i found that hardcopy, that particular journal entry was either the most recent or almost the most recent...   i believe 'twas the most recent @ the time, yes.   neway...   so what had happened?   i was confused.   i didn't notice ne gap or nething...   but i searched n' searched...   then i decided to check my backup copies.   ah!   apparently, the poem was located in my 08 april, 1999 entry "truly tasteless.".   apparently, everything in between that entry n' 05 april 1999's "blue rain" was missing...   well, actually... after carefully inspecting the problem, the missing chunk started on somewhere in 28 april, 1999's "learning to fall" n' went until the middle of "truly tasteless.".   so there was a spliced paragraph...   *sigh* weird... u know?   neway, i fixed the prob... n' then i saved the file... or rather, i thought i saved the file...   i reloaded the frame, but the lost entries still didn't show up.   oh, upes! i didn't confirm my save... but then apparently ocf crashed!   whoa!   'twas like some supernatural 4ce didn't want those journal entries to be published!   weird!   i was a li'l spooked by all that...   n' i had to pee really badly 2!   neway, i 'ventually went pee in the proper place 4 peeing, then i came back n' really fixed the problem.   so now, those entries ("learning to fall," "our beloved milhouse," "saving private beno," n' "truly tasteless") have been recovered.   now... do u care?   that's 'nother question...

yesterday, i was reading that stoopid usa weekend magazine inside the sf chronicle.   lisa ling wrote some article 'bout gen.x being apathetic to politics.   didju know she's only 27?   honestly, i thought she was much older, well into her 30s.   uhm, i don't mean to say that to rip on her.   i wasn't really amongst those who were all riled up 'bout her being in those old navy commercials that omitted asian men, altho' it cmed to think it had such racial diversity.   i knew 'bout that issue, n' i saw the commercial... but i already hate old navy ads, so why should that 1 be ne better?   in fact, if u wanna talk 'bout race n' old navy ads, then what 'bout that "i dream of jeanie" ad that has that middle eastern theme, but u don't notice ne actual middle eastern actors in it.   c, that's pretty messed up 2... so old navy ads just plain suck neway!   neway... i didn't like lisa ling's article.   i thought it was pretty stoopid.   it sed that gen.x, which she defines as americans age 18-34, r disillusioned 'bout politicians altho' they don't mind taking social re4m in their own hands.   yah, that's actually somewhat true, 'specially in berkeley, right?   but u also know i'm very 'gainst the definition of gen.x as all americans age 18-34.   "no can do!" w/ beno.   gen.x is ppl born in the mid 60s thru early 70s... or something like that... add "circa" b4 those numbers... n' gen y is those born in the 80s... so in my benocentric world, i'm defining those born in the mid 70s as that in.between generation that i keep talking 'bout here n' there!   u know... in general, u sure hear the term "gen x" much less these days, huh?   u just have "gen x" cops, n' that's 'bout it.

this morn, there was a 6 car pile up on the san rafael bridge, n' 1 car almost went over the side!

phil'll like this journal entry, n' joon 2.   graden grove!   'member when fahad used to sing that song: "maybe, i don't really wanna know, ur garden groves..."   is that blur or radiohead?   since it cms that fahad was more of a blur fan, i'm guessing 'twas blur, but was it?   i 4get.   isn't it blur's "end of a century?"   n' r those the correct wurds, or did i just make them up?   neway...   so 3 of us went down garden grove to watch that li'l taekwondo tournament.   it was a fun experience, n' 'twas fun to be in socal.   we got into socal late on fri nite.   we ate dinner @ norm's in anaheim.   the beautiful kaela kang sez her dad likes that place, but she thinks it's cheesy.   hrm...   it's kind'a like, i dunno, bob's big boy's or something, but w/ a cheerier atmosphere.   we all had steaks.   my ny steak was pretty good, n' they give pretty big portions.   but johnny sed they used to give more.   they give u both soup n' salad; most restaurants'd make u choose 1 of the 2.   well, we got lost pretty often on the way, but we finally got to our ramada inn in garden grove.   'twas a decent place.   we watched some really dumb b movie on hbo 'bout some mummies.   it was really confusing, n' the plot kept changing.   then we went to sleep.

in the morning, we went to the li'l taekwondojang on the other side of garden grove.   we watched the tournament till lunchtime.   then we broke 4 lunch.   i drove us back out to the korean side of garden grove, n' we ate @ bookkyuhng chinese restaurant.   raymond n' i had jjajangmyuhn, n' i ordered jjambbong 4 johnny.   it was the same woman hostess there as when i went w/ kaela.   *sigh*   it's so much fun to be in socal where fud is so much cheaper!!!!   then we went back to watch the rest of the tournament.   it ended much earlier than we expected, but i had to meet kaela's bro jay @ uc irvine 'round 700p.   so we went to von's, bought 25¢ safeway select sodas, went to chevron to fill up, then drove off to irvine.   we wandered 'round irvine 4 a while.   i recognised my surroundings from the times i was in irvine w/ phil or other times.   i wanted to c bunnies, but no bunnies.   i saw phil's high sckool 'gain tho'...   uni high trojans.   *sigh*   well, i know several ppl from uni, right? 4 example, phil, harry, eileen, heather...   wow, irvine...   lemme tell u... it's a very planned city.   it's very convenient tho'.   well, we figured we could watch a matinée movie to kill time.   i figured we should watch a horror movie since kaela wasn't there, n' via fon, kaela suggested the exact same thing.   so we went to edwards park place 2 n' watched lost souls.   'member when winona ryder was the gen x postergurl that all the alternachic boys thought 'bout?   i mean, like in the days of reality bites etc.   i just read some dumb columnist talk 'bout how she's so reduced to nothing now that she didn't get an oscar 4 girl interrupted, got dumped by matt damon, n' autumn in ny was so dumb.   (why would i wanna watch old richard gere play w/ li'l gurls?!)   well, lost souls was ok but not all that great.   that's 2 bad.   i mean, there's already been so many apocalypse/antichrist movies...   i mean, there's lots'a insensitive takes on it like end of days where u have no sympathy 4 the devil's son; but there's already been a good movie where u sympathise 4 the man who's gonna turn into the anti.christ... that's the devil's advocated w/ keanu.   i thought that was a pretty fine movie altho' it got cheesy 2wards the end.   al pacino's a great actor, huh?   al pacino, robert deniro... those guys...   i liked heat.   robert deniro'll be in a movie w/ cuba gooding, jr., n' i always thought cuba was a good actor 2.   neway... we watched the movie in that crappy theatre w/ no arcade n' so.so seats.   we went to uc irvine, met up w/ jay, got the goods, n' started driving up.   we stopped in burbank to eat @ kenny rogers roasters.   wow, i got to have such a culinary tour of socal this weekend!   well, kenny rogers roasters's like what i imagined boston market to be like.   well, i've been to boston market 1nce, a long time 'go, but i only had a chicken salad, n' i don't think that's their specialty.   i wonder what koo koo roo is like.   i haven't been to el pollo loco in ages.   well, johnny drove from there, then raymond took a shift till we got back up here.   wow, what a trip.

sun...   i woke up late, but we got back late.   kaela, that hot chick, took me to dim sum @ uh... that place by richmond 99... i 4get it's name...   but it was good.   it's a really nice looking restaurant.   i bought us some buns from sheng kee n' a li'l bit of groceries from 99.   we stopped by long's drugs, n' i bought a sunday paper.   since then i've been home.   it's been a lazy sun!!!

that was a cure song title.   neway, i haven't paid much attention to this kind of superstition in a long time.   it doesn't bother me.   2day, i'm going down to garden grove w/ raymond lee n' johnny tien.   we'll watch the hanmadang taekwondo demonstration competition 2morrow, then drive right back up.   i just wanna make this a quick in n' out.   then i'll be w/ the beautiful kaela kang 'gain.   yay!   well, hey... there's this "abercrombielee" who kindly pted out on my g.book/g.spot that boys ii men does have a new album out.   whaddya know!   thanks.   so last nite, i passed out copies of benomix3.   @ 1st, i was thinking, "well, does ne1 really want this cd?   does ne1 care?"   but then i realised, "whatever.   i just wanna pass it out to my friends.   it's something i've werked hard on, n' i wanna share it w/ my friends."   so i gave out copies.   n' all the sudden i barely had ne left.   i gotta make more.   yah, there's ppl i really do owe copies to.   so i should get copies out to them.   if u want a copy of benomix3, please let me know.   u can sign my g.book/g.spot. or e.mail me.   also, perry n' joon... u got martial arts equipment u gotta pick up from me.   well, i'll be off to socal in a li'l over a coupl'a hours, i guess.   i still gotta make the hotel reservation.   i gotta meet up w/ jay, kaela's bro, 2morrow nite to pick up something to bring up 4 jeanna.   well... i hope we have a safe trip.   i'll be missing kaela.

[later] i still haven't left yet, ~218p.   i took kaela to lunch @ viceroy.   we traded fons so that i can roam 4 free.   ok, now i'm really gonna go.   cu.

so i've been on a roll w/ this entry.a.day thing 4 a while, huh?   well, i almost didn't log an entry 2day.   i'll give u what i can give 4 an entry 2day.   last nite, i stayed @ werk pretty late.   then i came home, brought home a leftover sandwich lunchbox from a company mtg 4 dinner.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i did laundry 2gether @ my place.   some1 else was doing laundry, n' the laundry room was bizzy.   i mean, we didn't c ne1 else, but we saw laundry taken out of the machine, dumped on the washer, dumped on the dryer.   we could tell it was 'nother couple cos there was guy's stuff n' gurl's stuff... well, maybe 'twas just a cross.dreser, yah, true.   luckily it's not the dorms, so no1 goes 'round stealing bras n' panties to hang in their window.   isn't that cruel?   ppl did that in foothill tho'.   so then what?   the gurl hast'a knock on the guy's door n' ask 4 her underwear back or something.   i never understood the pt of that...   well, also i never went 'round stealing gurls' underwear.   neway, 'twas a laundry nite, n' i used up all my 0.25s.   2day @ lunch, i went to the calfed in greenbrae n' got more.

of course every1 compares the korean group solid to boys ii men.   jerome also compares them to kai.   where did boys ii men go?   i haven't heard their stuff in a while.   but man... isn't that weird?   like, think of the stuff ppl of my subgeneration listened to when we were young/hip/in college.   think 4 a sec 'bout our subgeneration's pop culture n' fashion, etc.   isn't it weird to think? *sigh*   well, it's easy 4 me to think, n' i visualise certain things n' ppl in my head; but u won't necesssarily visualise the same things.   when i think of that topic, 4 some reason i think of certain ppl i know via toby: john wang n' jin choi.   i guess somehow i thought they were very hip in their day. ha ha. i make us all sound like such old geezers, huh?   ha ha.   but i dunno... some reason i think of them.   neway, i got this yucky spider in my office.   i've let it live 4 a while out of mercy, but it's high time i flat out execute it!

yesterday, i discovered a web journal that i really like!   there's this guy moonhee kang in korea, n' he draws a cute cartoon daily journal!   it's called "life is good."   c, here's a guy who cs the simple pleasures in life.   his journal entries r very simple n' short.   he focuses on things ppl tend to overlook.   he's a guy w/ a professional career; he's 3 yrs married n' has a li'l daughter.   please check out his site.   i'm sure u'll like it!   n' yah, he's a kang, just like the beautiful kaela kang.   yah, i think i'd like to think of life like moonhee does, 'least as he portrays life in his journal.   doesn't it cm like i really complicate life?   *sigh*   butchu know... i've already toldju that i just don't know what "the simple life" is.

i've gained weight.   i'm consistently 'bout 151# nowadays.   a yr 'go, i could've been consistently 10# under that.   i'm fine tho'.   i'm not anorexic.   i want to be healthy n' fit, yes; but i'm not trying to be as skinny as possible.   while surfing the net, i saw this web journal, the diary of an aneroxic.   something like that.   it's really weird.   it's serious.   this person's really anorexic n' well... she talks 'bout it very frankly... she sez she shouldn't be ashamed.   hrm... well, i hope she lives.   i think she's actually a fashion model.   she had some pics on her page, but she had her face smudged out.   she's an african american woman.   neway... me, i've gained weight.   i haven't had many intense aerobic werkouts lately.   last nite, master yoon taught us 'bout teaching basics to white belts.   it was more of a lecture.   i definitely benefitted from his talk, but it's just funny that i felt like i just went to a class, not a werkout.   that's totally fine, yes; but it's just not what we're used to.   some ppl take classes @ nite, like sit down @ a desk classes.   some ppl, after werk, go to club mtgs, church mtgs/fellowships.   they don't get exercise every nite.   so it's like that, i s'ppose, but a bit more active than that...   after werkout, laura came over to my place n' ate leftover jjajangmyuhn w/ kaela n' me.   we watched tv.

u know, 2 nites 'go, kaela n' i watched blind date, n' we saw a coupl'a really bad dates.   the 1st 1 was this really nasty korean chick w/ fake boobs.   n' she went out w/ this really sleazy french guy.   it was such a disaster date, n' they were arguing from such an early pt on.   but hrm... these ppl were so trashy!   that's really judgemental, but yah...   the next date was this matt damon looking surfer guy w/ this really skinny, blonde chick.   'gain it was such a disaster, n' they were arguing almost right from the start.   in both cases, the gurls acted really "bitchy," as ppl'd say.   the french guy was really sleazy, n' i didn't feel much sympathy 4 him in his situation, but the surfer guy cmed to try to be a nice guy.   it's funny tho'... i felt like i was watching jerry springer... 'least w/ the 1st date, cos they cmed so trashy!

well, i didn't practice taekwondo last nite.   1st, after werk... well, the beautiful kaela kang drove out to corte madera to have a late lunch w/ me, so i took her to bongkot thai in san rafael...   but that was in the early afternoon, then i went back to werk.   she came w/ me n' sat in my office doing homewerk.   then i left the office sometime after 600p, like 630p or so...   we went to orchard supply to copy a key.   that took a while.   then we went to her albany place to throw out the trash n' all the mess left from the fumigation.   then we swung by telegraph ave. andronico's b4 we went to my place.   we bought some things we needed to make jjajangmyuhn.   also i bought some bread, orowheat health nut bread.   it's pretty good; i've had it b4.   i bought it so i could have sandwiches @ werk.   well, we went home, made n' ate jjajangmyuhn, n' watched the cider house rules.   that was a great movie.   so... is that the simple life?   apple picker, lobster fisher?   well, i don't think i'll be an apple picker, a lobster fisher, or an ob/gyn doctor netime in my life.   i'll just have to stick to this complicated life of mine.   but the movie was very touching.

so it rained yesterday quite a bit.   it's crazy; fall is definitely here...   soon it'll be winter n' all the winter holidays.   can u believe that?   imagine that.   get used to the sun going down b4 i leave werk... *sigh*   well, i look 4ward to snowboarding!   am i living a happy life?   c'mon, shouldn't i take a step back n' think 'bout the memories i have from this chapter of my life?   take a step back...   i'm happy.   what kind of stories will i tell my grandchildren?   i'll hand them over my journal... but they won't want to read this whole thing! hrm...   yah, ok, but if the skim thru it... what will they know of me?   well, then 'gain, what do i know of how my father, grandfater, great grandfather lived @ my age?   i've cn those hwang family history videos, n' heard stories, cn pics...   but i guess i've chronicled so many details.   hrm...   well, i like reflecting n' looking back.   the holiday season'll be a fun time.   it always is, isn't it?   u get to take time off from werk... stuff like that: relaxation.

maybe someday i'll figure i got into this online journal thing on the ground floor.   it's not like i was the 1st online journal in the history of online journals, but i guess i've been doing this online journal thing 4 quite some time now.   i realise 2 that it takes a long time to load up my journal these days, huh?   steve pted that out.   but, yah, i do put the most recent entry 1st.   i saw 2day that this page digital storytelling on tech-head.com has my journal listed.   i wonder when that happened.   no clue.   oh, i'm totally fine w/ that, but i just had no clue 'bout it.   man, i can't wait to get back on the snow...   i know that's not a very coherent thought, but...   just think...   going to tahoe, snowboarding, putting on sunblock, eating fud bought from gas station fud marts n' fast fud drivethrus, cing lots'a pine trees...   'member when i got in the big accident?   ...not like that's something i want to think 'bout...   'member how, when aaa asked me where i was, i sed, 'i dunno.'   then they asked me 4 a landmark, n' i sed, "well, there's lots'a trees around me... some power lines..."   maybe i even sed "mountains," i 4get... but it pretty much cracked the operator up... but it's no laffing matter, 'course... i dunno...   *sigh*

i've always told kaela this...   when we walk 'round berkeley n' c kids on skateboards, i tell her kids in san josé skate so much better.   in berkeley, all u c is kids falling off skateboards.   in san jo, u c kids pulling off tricks n' landing them.   i ask her, don't the ppl of berkeley consider it a matter of public concern that their kids r so behind in skateboarding? that san josé kids skateboard so much better than them?!   really!   berkeley streets r so torn up... who can really skateboard on them?!   but san jo has tons of nice pavement, so kids can really learn to skateboard.   but now look!   milpitas (which is just some li'l town stuck onto san jo, right?) now has the vans skatepark in the great mall!   whoa!   c, on sun, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to milpitas to meet up w/ my dad, grace, n' steve @ natori buffet, which is, as my dad sez, a taiwanese buffet cos it combines chinese n' japanese fud... n' has some taiwanese fud...   then kaela n' i met up w/ ken n' grace (choi) @ the great mall.   then we were to meet up w/ jimmy wang @ ken's milpitas store, but i got sidetracked on my way out of the great mall cos i saw the vans skatepark.   whuh?   we didn't have nething like that when i was a kid on a skateboard!   whuh?!   i thought it was very unfair that kids these days get to have a skatepark in the silicon valley.   well, hrm... unfair or not?   c, my adolescent days as a skateboarder was nuthin' like what these gen y kids r experiencing, right?   when i was a skater kid, skateboarders had such a bad rep.   we had no where to go, so we skated in parking lots n' stuff n' in the street.   n' all sorts'a concerned neighbourhood residents hated us n' stuff.   but now look!   there's this big skatepark in milpitas n' all the sudden skateboarding's a wholesome family sport again.   hrm...   but shouldn't i shake my fist @ all this n' say, "back in my day we never had nething like this! we had it hard!   n' i'd never want to grow up like u spoiled kids cos going thru all the hardships we had to go thru, we developed personality, n' u kids will never get to experience that!"   ha ha.   *sigh*   well, really!   just think...   my dad thinks i'm materialistic, n' prob'ly spoiled...   lots'a ppl older than me prob'ly think my generations all materialistic, hedonistic, irresponsible, n' spoiled.   n' then just dwell 4 a sec on supermike's saying, "4 every 3 generation 1 falls."

what does that really mean?   i mean, what r u measuring success w/?   so many just measure success thru money.   that's awful.   n' then what 'bout achieving success thru fame?   hrm.. maybe that's good 4 a while, but then some1'll say that's just as evil.   then what 'bout achieving spiritual success?   there is such a thing, right?   but then some1 who believes in money'll tear u down.   what 'bout just achieving happiness...   simple happiness.   but what's simple happiness?!   it cms like ppl used to think that'd be just having a wife n' family, a house, maybe a dog, a steady, honest job, n' time to go out to nature every so often...   u'd find happiness mowing the lawn.   but really...   do ppl believe that these days?   *sigh*   maybe to some extent, but they want ikea furniture in that house. that's all...   but then the wife, family, house, possible dog, n' natural retreat all cost money, n' so that steady, honest job better put out.   it costs more to live in the bay area now... cos u gotta cough up some dough to live near a vans skatepark, u know.   ha ha.   neway, so the pt is... i already asked "what is the simple life neway?"   yah, maybe i'm quite disillusioned by that whole concept, or what?   i just think 2 hard, huh?   do materialism n' success go hand.in.hand?   well, hrm...   can i consider myself a success?   uh oh! quarter life crisis talk!   listen... why don't i focus on the things i can do, instead of the things that ppl want me to do...

[later] neway, let's rattle off some events now.   on thurs nite, taekwondo practice.   then... then what?   i 'member eating kaela's leftover eggplant/hummous wrap, watching simpsons...   i guess that was 'bout it.   then fri, werk, fell asleep after werk, taekwondo practice... then laura n' kaela dropped me n' jerome off @ toby's 4 haircuts while they went to durant fud ct to buy us all some fud.   jarvis was over when i got there.   whoa!   there's a guy i haven't cn in ages!   so i sat n' talked to jarvis.   then jarvis left, but betty came in.   i sat n' talked to betty.   toby was cutting jerome's hair.   then kaela n' laura came back w/ fud.   we ate.   then toby cut my hair.   we all also watched simpsons in there.   i felt very bad cos we were keeping toby n' betty up late, n' they looked so tired.

sat, the choosuhk festival demo... we rehearsed in the morn, we had lunch @ the durant fud ghetto.   it was cold n' cloudy, but i still ordered mul naengmyuhn from ramen house cos i didn't want nething 2 heavy.   we ate, we did the demo...   it went well.   it was a big event.   i'm glad we could be part of it.   lots'a ppl were there!   afterwards, jerome drove me n' andy down to san jo / milpitas.   jerome needed to switch his video card, n' andy wanted to buy a new fon from ken's store... that's ideal paging n' cellular!   (that's the place to buy cell fons, k?)   we went to bascom fry's.   then we went to san jo fry's.   i bought some tasty turkey jerky there!   then we went to ken's store.   andy bought a kewl samsung fon.   we were really late getting back.   we picked up kaela n' went to a demo team get2gether @ chals's.

sun, kaela n' i went down to milpitas.   n' that's where i sorta started this entry, right?

so priceline.com is going belly up, huh?   i'm glad i sold it off b4 all this, but i know i could'a made some money if i had sold it several months 'go when they shot up.   man, stocks suck.   ha ha.   neway, so what's up?   last nite, we had to prepare brandie n' kaela's apt. 4 fumigation.   they're pissed cos the landlord gave them such short notice.   we were up very late.   i told my supervisor @ werk that i'd only werk in the afternoon 2day, so i got to sleep in till past noon.   oh yah!   b4 all that fumigation prep, i got my cd.r werking w/ nero, n' i'm now spittin' out copies of benomix3 left n' right!   woo hoo! woo hoo, indeed.   i just gotta print out the covers now...   i can't wait!   b4 i went to werk, i had lunch w/ the beautiful kaela kang @ that smoothie/burritos place on center by ox4d.   i dunno the name... so i guess i can't do a dine.com review... neway, dine.com's been so slow @ approving my entries lately!

so i'm back online w/ my modemblaster n' all.   i got the win2000 driver, n' everything's werkin'!   kewl!   i'm installing unionway n' getright now.   i need netscape... i need a good e.mail program.   i've been using eudora, n' i think i'll keep using eudora cos i don't wanna lose ne of the headers on my e.mails.   oh, it's 120a or so right now.   we went to taekwondo practice.   then the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to daruma w/ laura, where i ate n' they had pearl drinks.   but laura's a pearl drink snob, so she ditched her daruma drink cos it tasted like watermelon bubblicious, n'she bought 1 from satay house.   we watched 2 episodes of simpsons.   k, that sounds routine to u, huh?   well, sheesh! someday i'll blow up the world n' i'll letchu know 'bout it, k?   actually, we haven't been to daruma in ages, but the ownder is nice to me.   he sez hi.   1tym, he saw kaela n' i eating w/ some taekwondo ppl in the fud ct, not his restaurant, n' he still sed hi.   he's a real prick to other ppl, like darlene...   but he's nice to me.   well, that makes him sound really bad.   i ought to say he's a nice guy, n' u should eat @ his restaurant...   well, u should.   but we'll c if he's nice to u or not.   k, i'll try to continue this entry later.

baby penguins r nursed by their fathers.   penguins r good fathers, i guess.   u should c these baby penguin pics from the new england aquarium.

so we have taekwondo demo on sat afternoon 4 the kaso chusok festival in pauley ballroom.   on sun, i'm to meet my dad 4 lunch in san jo (he'll be in town 4 a fundraising event 4 congressman mike honda), so i've got to get to san jo.   i installed win2000 on my 'puter last nite, meaning i wiped everything out, 4matted my drive, etc.   so now i need apps.   i'm gettin' some from jerome n' andy, but i might need some stuff from ken.   jerome needs to go to fry's to do some shopping stuff.   so i've thought 'bout going to san jo on sat nite, staying to sun, n' taking jerome w/ us.   brandie wants to go clubbing on sat nite cos she'll be done w/ the lsat.   i'm down w/ clubbing, n' the beautiful kaela kang sounds like she'd like to go clubbing.   but the idea of going clubbing in sf n' getting down to san jo in time 4 lunch w/ my dad? no way.   so i'm suggesting we go clubbing in san jo.   but where is there to go clubbing in san jo?   clubbing, as in dancing; not as in beating ppl or snakes w/ clubs.   i looked on the net.   then i saw some articles on metroactive 'bout asian clubs...   i read them.   it's really interesting cos they're written by older folks of an older generation, ppl my sister's age.   their perception of asian america is so much different from, well, like ppl jerome n' joon's age n' younger.   it's cms so outdated n' primitive, yet i think it's good 4 some1 interested in asian.am culture to study the writings of these historical figures.   ha ha.   u know what i mean...   like, they're still talking 'bout amy tan n' stuff like that...   *sigh*   funny, huh?   it's not like amy tan is dead or nething, but her writings like joy luck club really address the issues of a different asian america from what i'm now used to dealing w/.   but i 'member those days, ('least the tail end of those days); i was alive in the 80s.   here's 2 pieces i think u should study: "asians gather together at night to (gasp!) party and (believe it!) get laid" by amy chen mills n' "the joy suck club: the stealth asian shall inherit the earth" by todd s. inoue.   the 1st piece talks 'bout asian niteclubs, but the author sounds like some anthropologist finding a new civilization...   it's really funny.   to folks of of my inbetween x n' y generation n' to gen y, this sounds really hokey...   we've taken 4granted the existence of asian party life.   the author explores k2 @ the sound factory n' club bien bien...   really, this article isn't all that old, written in 1998; but uhm... well, i don't disrespect her, but it's really funny from my perspective...   it's like a "wow, they make soup... in cans!" kind'a thing.   neway, i won't poke fun.   it's good 4 u young'uns to hear what some1 w/ more wisdom of the earlier days of asian.am culture has to say.   u'll hear her describe a coupl'a asian clubs, then she'll go on to speak in shock 'bout asian clubbing apparel, then she'll talk 'bout the asian ethnogender conflict... ha ha.   k, neway, read that article, then read the article that's linked to it.   todd inoue talks 'bout "stealth asians," asians that don't act "asian."   well, ha ha... yah, uhm... it's also a topic that's kind'a not so much an issue nowadays, but was more in the not 2 distant past.   'member my life as a freshman?   'member how i didn't want to make asian friends?   that's the life that this article discusses.   asians who think they're so phucin' alternative just cos they do something other than go clubbing.   (that sounds cynical.)   uhm... well, not just that... but also 'bout asians who think they're so different just cos they're not overachievers.   uhm, it's something that really blossomed in those days of the great depression of the late 80s / early 90s, in my humble opinion.   yah, there was a time in the 80s where u'd have all these nationality specific youth groups, n' kids come 2gether, talk 'bout how hard 'twas to be a [insert asian nationality here] kid in high skool, dealing w/ parental pressure, sats, fitting in w/ non.asian kids, etc.   then they'd watch sixteen candles n' eat pizza.   well, i can tell a li'l 'bout those days, u young'uns, but i know u won't ask.   neway, this article talks 'bout not fitting in w/ that crowd.   it's all very interesting, guys.

so i say it's high time to rattle off some events.   last nite, came home...   replaced my broken modem w/ the new modemblaster n' started installing win2000.   kaela got to use her new stovetop grill, n' we had grilled gajami n' veggies.   we watched part of the sexiest bachelor in america pageant.   hey, it's only fair.   i don't think there's nething wrong w/ guys in pageants.   honestly, tho', i don't find the women in miss america type pageants to be all that.   they're 2 wholesome.   we also saw some of some documentary on kcsm 'bout some chinese family string quartet in iowa.   they talked 'bout dvorak.   i watched the simpsons, both episodes.   i talked on the fon w/ jerome n' ken, mostly 'bout acquiring 'puter apps.   2day i called verizon 'bout switching to the 250 peak, 1000 off peak, 1000 cell2cell plan.   they'll switch it on 29 oct, my next billing cycle.   so till then i'll have my unlimited offpeak plan.   i'll avoid using peak mins till then, but 1nce i have this new plan, i can talk much to every1 else who has a cell fon.   that's good.

2day is the 1st werkday of october y2k.   well, yah, last week was a hard week in many ways.   thanks, helen, 4 sending me a msg.   i notice u haven't posted nething on ur daily dimsum in a long time.   i hope u'r doing fine.   so what's up?   lemme c.   fri, hrm...   fri, oh yah!   fri, i drove the beautiful kaela kang down to san leandro to pick up her kia sportage from the shop.   the still gotta fix the center armrest thingy.   then we went to the albany place n' ate fatt'ning zachary's pizza w/ brandie, jerome, n' laura.   marissa also came home later.   we watched the princess bride.   ppl were s'pposed to study, but they didn't.   sat, we woke up late, but i took kaela quickly to sf to exchange some stuff @ a store, then i bought us lunch @ noah's bagels.   they do make good sandwiches, u know.   2 bad their stock went so bad.   then i went to demo team practice.   then i came home, cooked jjolmyuhn dduhkbokki, while kaela made kongchingchai (i guess, that's how u spell the name of that hollow tube veggie.), n' we ate n' watched charade, a 1963 audrey hepburn / cary grant movie (we didn't know the name, but i looked it up just now.) on kqed.   so i've recently taken a liking to public tv.   i feel enriched n' educated thru public tv.   altho' i don't condone couch potatoing, if i'm gonna sit in front of the tv n' watch something other than the simpsons or my sister, it might as well be public television, don'tchu think?   last thurs, i watched a documentary on kcsm 'bout notre dame's history, n' a nova episode on kqed 'bout the history of car safety.   both were very interesting to me.   i think the car safety was very good 4 an engineer to watch.   but inventions rn't always really from engineers.   ne1 w/ a good idea can be an inventor.   engineers might just be some uncreative peons that do all sorts of drawings n' calculations b4 the idea becomes a marketable product.   that's sad to think.   but then, the product might never have gotten newhere w/o engineers.   but it'd feel best to be the inventor n' the engineer, i figure.   neway... sat, after watching charade, or actually, we didn't really finish... brandie picked us n' jerome up to go to dr. eric johnson's get 2gether.   he's leaving berkeley now to be a postdoc in san diego.   eric's got a really interesting place w/ lots'a memorabilia, toys, n' musik things.   'twas a good time.   sun morn, i went to the stadium cleanup.   then i took kaela w/ me to jiffy lube, where i got my oil changed... or my forester's oil, rather...   then i took her to lunch @ café durant.   then we went to the vlsb library.   we had bought a sunday sf chronicle that i read in the library.   then, kaela had to meet her friends maria n' marilyn @ starbuck's on oxford.   they studied; i read newspapers.   i mostly read restaurant reviews.   afterwards, kaela took me to dinner @ yeitnal jjajang, n' i bought some groceries @ pusan plaza.

so what else should i write 'bout here?   i mostly just rattled off my ongoings n' praised public tv.   what else should i say?   yah, like chals sed 'bout his café chulho, there'r things i won't talk 'bout here: i won't talk 'bout offical werk biz nor official taekwondo biz.   ppl read here, n' it's public.   i discuss most of my ongoings.   i want to have a record of all that i did.   i'll write 'bout my opinions... like all that asian.am stuff.   i want to write stuff like a columnist would.   u know something?   here's an opinion, as well as more of beno's asian.am bs.   u know, i definitely think there's not enuf asian.american restaurant critics.   i don't mean to be all racially biased or nething, but the bay area needs more restaurant critics who talk 'bout asian restaurants n' actually know what they're talking 'bout.   even reviewers in the bay area guardian n' sf weekly rn't all that educated 'bout asian cuisine altho' they write 'bout it.   this is a matter of dire concern, n' ppl should take care of this matter.   i wanna watch girlfight, the boxing movie.   the motorola sc 3160 puts out 2 much radiation.   i think kaela n' i ought to get matching motorola startac 7860s.   i'm gonna hafta convince ken.   he'd rather give us the audiovox 4000 cos he sez it's a better web.browsing fon, but it also puts out a lotta radiation... well, better than the 3160.   i've asked ken to switch my plan from unlimited offpeak to 1000 offpeak w/ 250 peak n' 1000 mobile to mobile.   it'll be cheaper.   mobile to mobile is really good!   if u call ur friend or sweetie n' he/she has a cell fon, then it's free, peak or offpeak!   it's good.   i wish my 'puter wouldn't act so sick.   i want a perfectly functioning 'puter, w/ a perfectly functioning cd.r drive!

on sat after demo team practice, in the ucmap office, i saw that phil e.mailed me.   i didn't have a chance to read the e.mail then, but i read it now.   u know... phil has so many wise wurds to say...   then 'gain sometimes ppl think he's full of bs.   ha ha.   it's ok 4 me to say this, right?   i mean, phil... u know who i'm talking 'bout, right?   in fact, i sometimes have thought u were full of bs, right?   we've argued 'bout stuff, right?   4 example, there was a time when i thought savage garden was more of a turn of the century erasure, but u argue that it was white soul; pop musik like n'sync, etc.   i dunno... were we both right, or was i wrong?   obviously, u were right to some extent... neway, i'd want to post up some of the things u sed in ur e.mail, but i wouldn't want to post it all up, cos i don't wanna invade ur privacy, 'course.   but u sed some really good things.   here, i can't help myself!   i'm gonna post up a li'l clip:

I'm not saying that life should be a constant shuffling of the cards, direction and consistency are always important in life.   But nowhere in our lives will change be as easy as it can be now.   Five years from now we'll be married and have a home, ten years from now young children (you and me, babe, how about it?)   Twenty years from now we'll have midlife crises, but only if we plant the seed of the crisis through inaction.   The 45 year-old strapping on rollerblades wouldn't look so foolish or feel so awkward, if he'd started the same thing at 25.   Whether we like it or not, our lives are moving, because time is always going forward and slipping away...

so i got that e.mail on sat.   also on sat, during demo practice, i got a voicemail from perry 'bout a nike sale in orinda.   well, i didn't have time to stop by orinda on sun, but thanks, perry!   well, perry's 1 of my readers who has experienced more of life than some of my other readers.   so what would perry say 'bout what phil wrote?   ...not that perry's newhere near 45 or nething... i didn't mean to imply that! but he's done the getting married n' having a home n' child thing.   n' he's also managed to continue doing taekwondo thru.out most of that.   i think that's kewl.   'course perry doesn't know this, altho' i sorta mentioned it to kaela; i really respect perry 4 his ability to keep up w/ taekwondo n' carry on a life w/ a family.   n' i talked to kaela b4 'bout how i wonder how i'll ever do that.   i don't think it's impossible, but i just have a hard time visualising what it'll really be like.

it feels good to make money on the stock market.   it sucks to lose money.   it's nice to have a cellfon that doesn't give u brain cancer.   (phil, i haven't heard ne news 'bout professor tien who recently had a brain tumorectomy.)   but we're s'pposed to focus on simple things in life now n' then... but what r the simple things in life?!?!   u can get out to the great outdoors...   but hey, that's expensive after a while.   u can go snowboarding... but that's an elitist's sport, n' it's expensive, n' stressful after a while, right?   u can do taekwondo, getchur aggressions out, feel healthy n' whole... but then u also deal w/ a lott'a organisational biz after a while.   u could drink lots'a liquor n' beer; but then u'd be a drunk.   u could watch a bunch'a tv, but then u'd be a couch potato.   u could go out, play, dance, n' enjoy fine dining, but that's expensive n' hedonistic.   u could pursue religion; but then ppl'd mix u up in the politics as well as more organisational werk.   so what r the simple things in life?!?! *sigh*   i think i ought to travel a li'l, here n' there.   i think, during kaela's winter break, i wanna take a week off n' go to tahoe n' reno, then meet up w/ dr. eric in mammoth.   n' maybe i ought to give phil n' supermike visits, huh?   i dunno...   but when?   i'd like to c new york city sometime in my near future 2.   it'd be fun to travel, yah.   but how long could i travel b4 i run out of cash?   n' would't it be fun to have a dog?   but then dogs shed fur all over ur upholstery, n' u gotta pick up after them.   how can u have a dog n' have a job, unless u have kids to take care of the dog?   i really wish owen had brought truffie to the stadium cleanup!   so neway!!! what really is the simple life?   doesn't it cm like nething can stress u out?   *sigh* n' i wouldn't wanna be directionless!   i wanna be good @ the things i do...   sometimes i'd whine that life just cms impossible, huh?   'least i'd wanna whine that.   but whining gets u no where.   it's better to take action.

wed nite, i took the beautiful kaela kang to get her car fixed in san leandro.   afterwards, i took her to dinner @ nan yang in rockridge.   supermike hates that place.   yah, it's a li'l pretentious n' overyuppyish (n' overpriced, as supermike sez), but we might as well have tried it out 1nce, right?   i think kaela's garlic noodles w/ seafud was the best dish.   k, that was wed.   thurs, werk, this that, had lunch @ a chinese buffet in mill valley, went to taekwondo, practiced, led demo werkout, went to safeway to buy juice, took chals w/ me.   we bought some weird "tastykakes" cos they were on sale.   they're really fattening 2.   well, it's fri.   it's been a long week; it's been a long fri.   i feel pretty battered.   yah, battered like a tempura shrimp ready to be deep fried to a golden crisp.   i'm not in a joyous mood.   i'm really emotionally worn out from this week.   but i push onward.   it's weekend now.   it's time to have fun, time to celebrate, everybody get down.   *sigh* why am i still in my office?

i almost typed june or july instead of september.   how did that happen?   i dunno.   well, i got it right in the end.   yesterday, i should'a posted, but i didn't have time.   yesterday was b.day 4 2: liane n' jocelyn.   happy b.day!   i doubt jocelyn reads here, but liane's supposedly does.   liane, happy b.day!   neway, i should'a sed it yesterday.   i didn't post an entry yesterday, but i did write 3 reviews 4 dine.com.   u can read my reviews there n' sign up to write ur own.   make sure u sign up under my name cos i get a quarter if u do; n' i sure need quarters 4 them berkeley parking meters.   so the olympic taekwondo competition started yesterday.   usa was eliminated right 'way, but if it's ok to cheer 4 non.us teams, then why don't we be happy that taiwan won 2 bronze medals.   y! had an article 'bout the taiwanese taekwondo team.   "'we will become sinners for eternity if we do not win a gold,' sung said recently."   this sung guy is their coach.   their big star is huang chih.hsiung.   (has jason fought this guy b4?)   taiwan was hoping to bring home its 2 1st gold medals ever, but oh well.

ne1 who really loves taekwondo prob'ly really hates it @ times 2.   love/hate relationship.   it's really emotional n' takes 'lot out of u @ times... if u really love it.   i have pursuits in life, n' i take them seriously.   i have my engineering career, i have taekwondo, deejaying, n' snowboarding.   1nce u get to snowboarding, u start making that transition from serious pursuit to hobby...   but these r things i really want to do well.   my "hobbies" r cooking, watching simpsons, eating out...   there's things i want to do in life.   n' in general i want to be a capable person, a strong person, 1 who can accomplish things, 1 who has fun, 1 who is active... it's all part of what makes me beno.   my life has trials, conflicts, n' drama.   there's all that i wanna do, n' then there r all sorts'a obstacles in the way.   sometimes i'm really motivated, sometimes i'm not motivated.   sometimes i'm frustrated or discouraged.   why try?   why not just let myself wither away?   i could eat cheetos n' play computer games all day, watch jenny jones n' every single episode of star trek that comes on.   i really liked playing m.u.d., back in the day... so why don't i just sit on the net all day, all nite? surf 4 porn all day, all nite?   n' then eat more cheetos...   but no, i don't live that kind of life.   i want to be a better person.   well, i know kaela's pissed @ me right now cos she thinks i don't care that she pulled her quad 'gain @ practice last nite.   i cared, but i had to take care of my duties on the mat as a demo team leader n' as a demo team member.   i found out that master yoon isn't letting sam or chals go down to the hanmadang competition, so i know i've got a responsibility to 1) lead the team n' 2) perform well in their absence.   i have taekwondo pursuits.   i want her to understand that.   n' it's not w/o her in mind.   pursuits... better person... i want to be a better person 4 her 2.   i don't want to be some bf who's 2 wimpy to be able to carry her n' her bags n' things upstairs when she hurts her leg... it's not that i have or want a helpless or weak gf, but isn't it good if i'm capable of taking care of her when necessary?   n' it's not just physical things... there r mental, psychological, spiritual things i want to develop inside myself via my pursuits in life.   i'd like to be a decently technologically saavy person, i'd like to be able to come up w/ mechanical solutions to life's problems... i'd like to be a confident 'nuf person that i'm not a burden upon others...   in the whole idea of developing myself, it's not just 4 myself.

2day is sandy huang's b.day.   happy b.day sandy.   i don't think u read this tho'.   i'd better post on café chulho.   man, when was the last time i posted?   not many ppl read this nemore cos i don't post, huh?   oh well...   actually, i know phil does tho', right phil?   phil's alive, in oregon.   the beautiful kaela kang reads this, right?   well, yah, i know some ppl read this, but i also know i've been lazy, so it's my fault if u've tuned out... but please come back! i'm here! n' i'm writing!   neway... where did i leave off?   thurs? fri?   i 4get.   thurs nite, we had a demo @ unit iii.   then we practised.   it's hard 4 me to have these demo practices after normal practice cos i gotta spend so much on parking.   i'd rather have practices on mon n' wed, but we've gotta stick to master yoon's schedule.   kaela pulled her quad, so i had to help her out n' home.   i bought her fud from j.box n' an assortment of muscle pain relief products.   i guess i ought to have this kind'a stuff on hand, being in taekwondo, but 1) i try not to use medicinal pain relief n' 2) maybe i just don't werk out hard 'nuf to need it.   i like being sore; it means i'm exercising, n' i'm healthy.   i like that feeling.   i don't like the fact that i haven't had ne exercise since thurs's practice.   that's bad.

fri, i took kaela to eos in the cole valley burrough of sf.   it's nice, worth the price.   it's a really san franciscan joint full of alternachic folk n' yuppies.   it's an asianfusion restaurant.   i'll review it shortly.   then we neoprinted @ j.town w/ the big, round piyo kaela gave me.   'twas all in celebration of our 8th monthversary.   sat, we went to costco, then we went to san jo to go to santa cruz 4 a bonfire w/ ken, grace, billy, elbert, shinwha, her friend jen shen, (hu)bert lee, his wife allison, hogan, n' his fiancée ancheli.   yah, it was really fun.   we went to this hidden cove, a semiwell kept secret.   i guess ucsc students go there.   it's more beautiful than ocean beach but much harder to find / get to.   i'm glad i have all wheel drive cos billy's van got stuck in some ditches that i managed to drive right thru.   yah, it's fun to do outdoors stuff!   it's a darn shame folks in berkeley rn't more up 4 it these days!   (a darn diddly doo dang shame!)   kaela n' i stayed in san jo that nite.   on sun, we had lunch w/ my mom, grace, n' steve @ ocean palace.   we swung by ken's store 1 last time, so i could switch out my fon 'gain n' pick up 2 cable boxes 4 jin choi.   then we picked up our laundry from home n' went back up.   we dropped off the cable boxes w/ jin.   then we ate @ kamakura in alameda.   it's a really good japanese restaurant.   they give u a shot of plum wine 4 dessert.

ok, so that was my weekend.   we didn't c the cal taekwondo nat'l collegiate team tryouts.   i'm not part of that; i'm just doing demo team stuff now.   that's a handful!   i'm glad sam's so eager to take over leadership cos... ha... it's a lot to do!   @ the same time, i'm s'pposed to be in charge of stuff 2 still.   master yoon wants me to, n' i don't mind.   i just definitely need help n' support.   i was really frustrated 'bout having to buy all the boards 4 demo team last semester out of my own cash 1nce 'gain.   but now ucmap's giving us $500 to go down to this hanmadang demo competition in garden grove.   so that's good.   yah, i was thinking 'bout the whole leadership thing...   i think i can't totally ditch the leadership role.   i've been 'round the cal demo team 4 a while now, n' i'm senior to most the members... so i should act responsibly, n' that includes taking on leadership responsibilities, n' it's not just a responsibilities, like a job 4ced upon me... i do want to do it, but i @ 1st i thought, "oh, if other ppl wanna do it, then that's fine. they can..." but i do have a duty to pass on what i do know 'bout leading demos... ppl have different kinds of experience, n' i have mine.

i told the beautiful kaela kang that tapioca is some flour, n' it expands into those balls when u cook them in water.   that's what my sister told me a long, long time 'go.   but she sed she saw on survivor that they were looking @ tapioca trees.   huh?   yah, apparently, tapioca is made from a flour, which is made from the root of the cassava plant.   ah, i c.   ok, so that's what's going on.   i wonder if boba/zhenzhou/pearls r made from the same plant.   i dunno, do u?

so yesterday was our 8th monthversary.   we didn't really get to have a big celebration tho'.   we went to demo team practice cos we have a demo 2nite @ unit 3.   been practicing.   we practiced on tues nite 2.   that's good.   after tues nite's practice, chals came over, n' we cooked 4 him dduhkbokki (dduhk... dduhk... dduhk... goose!!!) n' hobak twigim.   (psydduhk)   practices have been going later; i don't get as much sleep.   i eat much 2 late.   that's bad; shouldn't eat right b4 bed.   nope!   that tues nite, i got to talk to chals 4 a while.   after chals left, ken called, n' i talked to him 4 a while.   it's good to talk.   it always is.

kaela came n' visited me @ my office 2day, n' we had lunch.   i'm very happy that kaela is my gf!   i'm very happy 'bout that.   i really feel compatible.   on tues nite, when chals was over, we watched blind date 4 1nce, we saw such a compatible couple.   compatibility is very important.   u know when u've got it.   u feel like there's a female/male/opposite sex version of u... in some ways, not all.   to some extent, opposites attract, so maybe there's got to be certain differences.   k, i gotta bust outta here n' get ready 4 the demo.   i'm late!

i 4got to mention that on sat nite, as the beautiful kaela kang n' i ate our soondooboo, we watched gandhi on kqed.   it was kewl to c it again after all these yrs.   i recognised things that fahad talked 'bout like nehru n' the way the muslims greet each other.   it was very interesting to watch.   on fri nite, as we waited @ amc van ness 4 our late showing of duets, we saw part of the olympic opening ceremonies.   actually, we saw part of it b4 we left albany 2.   wow, olympics...   the most important event, of course, is taekwondo.   it all takes place on 27 sept, that's a week from 2morrow.   yah, cal n' roland r going down to watch.   i can't believe taekwondo is all happening on 1 day.   i guess since each country only gets to send 2 weight classes, 1 competitor in each, trims down the length of the competition.   oh, wait! the competition is gonna take 3 days; nevermind.   man, olympic competitors r often so young!   if u don't accomplish this n' that by the time u'r like 20, then u'r a nobody, huh?   atheletes r so young, singers/musicians r so young, all sorts'a celebrities r all so young.   why's that?   this cbs big brother house show is almost interesting to me.   altho' i don't really watch nething on tv besides the simpsons; this is an interesting idea.   they have an asian guy in the house, n' he's still alive.   these shows r strange, huh? survivor, big brother... tv does want to be like edtv nowadays.   well, then we can get rid of actors.   it's funny; when i watched chasing amy 4 the 1st time, i thought ben affleck was such a smalltime actor, but then now i c this ben affleck, matt damon, gwyneth paltrow bunch as being this turn of the century brat pack.   while we're on the topic of entertainment, please write to upn44 n' thank them 4 giving us a full hour of simpsons @ 1100p n' keeping the 0.5 hr @ 600p.   that's 2 kewl!   of course, we gotta tell kpix that we love that new news reporter grace hwang.

last nite, i had a werking guy's evening, i feel.   i s'ppose this is what "normal" life is s'pposed to feel like.   i came home.   kaela n' i cooked dinner: eggplant, oyster 'shrooms, rice.   'twas all vegetarian.   we watched tv as we ate.   then i went to sam's to talk 'bout demo team organisational stuff.   then i came home, watched some more olympics n' simpsons, then went to sleep.   c, that's what i figure a "normal" werking guy's life is like... unlike the "taekwondo practice every nite" life that i lived last yr.   but i prefer the "taekwondo practice every nite" life; i feel more alive n' awake when i'm active every nite.   after watching simpsons i felt so sleepy.   i don't feel good 'bout that kind of life.   i don't wanna watch tv much; tv is evil.   altho' i like simpsons, i shouldn't watch much more tv than that n' my sister.   i should be out doing stuff.   it's absolutely no good that i haven't done taekwondo since last thurs; taekwondo can't be a 2ce a week thing 4 me!   i'm rather upset 'bout how much less time i've been spending on taekwondo practice.

olympics... on café chulho, we had a li'l discussion 'bout cheering 4 non.us teams, 'bout cheering 4 asian countries' teams, while watching the 'lympics.   is it ok 4 asian.americans to cheer 4 asian countries instead of the u.s.?   why is it so hard 4 asian to make it big in athletics in the u.s.?   well, it's not that bad: there r many asian.american athletes, plenty!   but yah, most athletes who get attention r black or white.   asian.american parents don't encourage kids 'nuf to pursue sports as a career.   well, yah... that's such an overused statement.   musik 2... some bay area paper had an article 'bout how the bay area youth symphony orchestras were like 90% asian, but there rn't nearly that many professional asian.american classical musicians.   n' the article blamed asian.american parents 4 not encouraging their kids to pursue classical musik as a profession.   yah, it's very overstated, but it's somewhat true.   n' it's also somewhat of a stereotype.   i figure, if the american public gets used to that statement, then they'll just accept things they way they r.   'oh, there's not many famous asian.american athletes cos the parents don't do their job to encourage their kids.'   ok, then what?   how 'bout helping that problem?   u can't just accept it; that's not good 'nuf.

but yah... cheering 4 non.us countries...   some ppls r very nationalistic, true to their heritage.   yah, often asians r, but also latinos n' south americans can be.   i c brazilian n' puerto rican flags n' bumper stickers.   europeans can be.   u c those european car stickers on bumpers.   i don't think that's wrong @ all.   what is american culture neway?   it's a mix of everything, but i don't think it's wrong to be specialised in 1 part of american culture...   but u know... just think how if u cheer 4 the chinese gymanstics team, u just might find urself locked up in a new mexico prison 4 278 days.

hrm... i sed i'd discuss "the circle game" 2day.   here, i'll present it now.   it's joni mitchell's song, "the circle game," some old, old, old song that phil'd like.   n' i think he does.   my friend rosalyne taught me this song on guitar way back soph yr.   yah, i think phil likes it.   it's sorta sappy n' makes u feel old n' that times slipping away:

the circle game

yesterday a child came out to wonder caught a dragonfly inside a jar fearful when the sky was full of thunder and tearful at the falling of a star and the seasons they go round and round and the painted ponies go up and down we're captive on the carousel of time we can't return we can only look behind from where we came and go round and round and round in the circle game

sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now cartwheels turn to car wheels thru the town and they tell him, take your time, it won't be long now till you drag your feet to slow the circles down and the seasons they go round and round and the painted ponies go up and down we're captive on the carousel of time we can't return we can only look behind from where we came and go round and round and round in the circle game

then the child moved ten times round the seasons skated over ten clear frozen streams words like, when you're older, must appease him and promises of someday make his dreams and the seasons they go round and round and the painted ponies go up and down we're captive on the carousel of time we can't return we can only look behind from where we came and go round and round and round in the circle game

so the years spin by and now the boy is twenty though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true there'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty before the last revolving year is through and the seasons they go round and round and the painted ponies go up and down we're captive on the carousel of time we can't return, we can only look behind from where we came and go round and round and round in the circle game

i guess we got stuck in every major bay area traffic jam this weekend: the big 2 hr jam on fri nite / sat morn coming home from watching duets @ amc van ness in sf, the big jam on the way to sf shopping on sat afternoon, the big jam coming up 880 from san jo on sun nite (jerome drove).   so much traffic!   *sigh*   the bay area is so overpopulated, right?   i dunno... every1 wants to live in the bay area.   who deserves to live in the bay area?   let's say we had to pick who to keep in the bay area n' who to throw out, how would we do that?   hrm...   what would be the criteria?   well, the default would be wealth, right?   whoever can afford to live in the bay area stays; whoever can't leaves.   or we could flip it upside down n' kick out the rich.   we could institute cultural/racial discrimination like that fremont politician wanted to do w/ his law that all signs hafta be in english.   u could have all guys!   ha ha.   well, most silicon valley geeks r guys, right?   *sigh*   if only there weren't earthquakes, we could just build huge skyscrapers to house every1, n' build underground malls... n' bart ought to be better.   where's this place headed?

yah, the beautiful kaela kang took me to dinner @ tsingtao on fri nite.   we had palbochae, salt n' pepper fried quail, n' glazed fried bananas.   yum, yum, yum; altho' greasy.   then we went to watch duets, as i mentioned.   yah, i got a really awesome parking spot on van ness, n' phew! my care wasn't broken into!   i'd like to try venture frogs sometime.   venture frogs is the asian fusion restaurant in amc van ness.   so we didn't go to koko house on fri nite.   we were 2 hungry to wait 4 other ppl.   sounds like they had a good time tho'.   on sat, kaela n' i went shopping in sf.   that was 1 of the best days of shopping i've had in a long time.   altho' we fought traffic on the way there, we got free street parking.   wow!   that's like winning the lotto; maybe not the jackpot but 'least a decent prize.   we had lunch @ carl's jr. cos kaela never gets to have carl's jr. up here!   san jo has lots'a carl's jr.   it's just berkeley that's all retarded n' has no carl's jr.   hrm... i sed "retarded."   i almost replaced that w/ "lame," but both r pretty derogatory.   we should respect ppl w/ mental n' physical disabilities.   what if i replaced "retarded" or "lame" w/ "f**ked up"?   hrm...   but we should respect ppl who choose to live a sexual promiscuous lifestyle.   ha ha.   k, neway... lessee... yah, 'twas a really good day of shopping, got stuff we wanted, 'twas nice weather, 'twas fun.   then we bought groceries @ pusan plaza.   then we went home n' made soondooboo.   we were s'pposed to go noraebang that nite, but those plans fell thru.   i got to talk on the fon w/ toby tho'.   i really gotta switch my cellfon plan to 1 w/ limited off peak but w/ peak mins.

sun, brandie drove kaela, me, n' mikey down to san jo to visit ken.   brandie got a new nokia 5180.   we were supposed to pick up 'puter stuff from ted, but that didn't happen.   jerome joined us @ milpitas 99, n' we waited till 900p 4 steve wey to call us 'bout 'puter parts, but it didn't happen.   sucks!   'twas a very relaxing evening tho.   we all loved the warm summer nite's air.   that's what the sobay is all 'bout!   ppl! listen up!   san jo n' the sobay can be a very pleasant place!   why don't we move berkeley down to the sobay? *sigh*

i can't wait till the upcoming snow season!   snow is good.

[later]   u know how kaela wrote in her journal on 12 sept 'bout how her last relationship wasn't a total waste of time cos she learned to appreciate things in life since that relationship was so awful.   well, sometimes i think 'bout my previous relationship, n' i wonder if it was all a waste of time...   it's hard 4 me to regret things in life like that...   how can i take back those yrs of my life n' say i wish i they hadn't been like that.   usually, i'd say those experiences r all part of me n' i can't regret them.   n' i guess that is how i feel, but sometimes i wonder if i could'a had a better college experience if i had never had that relationship...   sometimes i think those days of my life were just way 2 mellow n' settled down, that i should'a been partying it up this n' that.   butchu know?   it wasn't my exgf's fault.   i was stuck in engineering lab all nite, all weekend.   i had to study.   n' i was prob'ly not into partying back then to some extent.   it's just so funny that some college student couples can get so mellow.   like, i know s.mike n' bianca, when they were going out, they were pretty "mellow."   what should i have done differently in my past?   since i hang w/ quite a few younger ppl, i often think 'bout that.   they're going thru phases of life i lived a few yrs back.   they'll encounter some similar experiences as those who r my age now.   like, let's think 'bout when we'll c jerome or joon get into a long term relationship.   (yah, u guys!)   how will their lives be?   some ppl go thru all of hs n' all of college w/o ne long term relationships.   n' some of these ppl r surprisingly normal.   ha ha.   it's just that from when i was hs, i always thought every1'd get into a relationship b4 they got out of hs.   u know, i think my social group back then was very into relationships.   some ppl in college were so surprised to hear how many couples there were in my social group in hs.   s.mike, right b4 his personal rennaissance days, right b4 bianca broke up w/ him, told us that being single is the norm n' being in a relationship is optional.   yah.   don't get into a relationship unless u really like the person...   wait 4 the right person, don't just look to get into a relationship...   we've talked 'bout that.   it's been a while since i heard ppl talk 'bout this kind'a stuff.   r ppl thinking nemore, or r they just letting their lives run on autopilot?

it's wonderful "indian" summer weather 'round here.   but it'll be fall b4 we know it.   the circle goes 'round and 'round.   that sounds depressing...   but it doesn't hafta be.   let's enjoy life, live it up.   i want to cherish the good times, yes.   that's all 4 2day's lecture.   next class, we'll get into actually talking 'bout "the circle game."

last nite dr. ur n' master yoon helped sam n' i hold the 1st ever tryouts 4 the demo team.   it's a pretty exciting thing 4 us.   it's the 1st time we got this organised.   even tho' dr. min keeps mentioning me as the demo guy; i feel really bad cos i feel that, in the past, i failed to get the demo team truly organised.   but i'm very motivated now cos i know master yoon is helping us so much, n' i know that sam n' chals r very motivated to get this show on the road.   it's going to take every1's cooperation, but i feel good 'bout the whole thing.

it's the weekend.   tgif.   ppl r going to koko house 2nite, but i dunno if the beautiful kaela kang n' i'll be going.   maybe, but i dunno...   koko house hasn't been the same experience lately that it used to be.   it used to be a more "cultural" experience; like we'd go n' get typical korean bar fud n' socialise w/ our friends over drinks, but i dunno...   i'm not so sure it'll feel all that fulfilling if i go 2nite.   they don't even serve soondae there nemore!

kang is a more popular last name than hwang in the united states, according to placesnamed.com.   i was surprised.   but u know... it's cos some hwangs r huangs; i c.   lee is the 24th most popular last name...   ok, but "popular," i mean "common,"   it's not that ne1 voted on favourite names.   smith is the 1st most common name, brown the 5th, williams is the 3rd, johnson is 2nd... hrm... i'm finding this all out by typing in these names as guesses...   what do u think is #4?   i dunno.   here's a page 'bout my sister grace.   it's from her old tv station.   nowadays she's doing news reports 4 kpix ch 5.

so yah, a coupl'a ppl actually dropped me a line yesterday from my journal: perry seto n' clara kim.   thanks 4 dropping lines.   if u were more focused, u wouldn't drop things so often.   ha ha.   neway, 2day my underwear is on inside.out.   upes!   i'm 2 lazy to change it; why bother?   i mean, these r boxerbriefs.   if they were normal boxers, i'd probably have known.   i ate a choco powerbar this morning.   4 lunch i went to this blue moon diner in the corte madera mall cos i wanted to go use the versateller @ the mall.   i just wanted to try out that place in the fud ct, that's all; had a turkey burger w/ cole slaw n' fries n' a small diet coke.   it was really filling.   i always gotta tell u what i ate, u know.   yah, last nite i took the beautiful kaela kang to dinner @ tachibana on college.   it's a nice japanese restaurant, altho' i definitely prefer kirala.   originally, we were just cruisin' 4 fud after paying our ucmap reg fees, but i didn't wanna go to party sushi cos they only take cash...   so hrm... kirala?   2 crowded.   ok, tachibana.   i've been there 1nce b4.   it's kind'a overpriced n' stuff, but it's a pleasant place w/ good sushi n' good beef teriyaki; altho' i think kaela thought 'twas 2 rare, the beef.   uhm, why r we always @ long's drugs these days?   i'm gonna make it a pt not to go to long's drugs 2 much...   u understand why, right?   uhm... u know how i feel 'bout making going to target or costco the hilite of my week, right?   yah, well, so i'd rather do something else.   but it's not like we went to the drugstore cos we wanted to, we just had to pick up something, so it was pretty necessary.   neway, there's also often cute doggies parked outside of long's drugs on shattuck.

u know, i really'd like to let some1 post a guest entry 'gain sometime soon.   i really like writing on café chulho, but that's chals's thing.   i neither hafta take it over, nor do i have to imitate it.   my thing is the beno journal.   here, i write 'bout what i ate each day n' how bloated i feel n' how i'm so lost in life. ha ha ha.   *sigh*   i've had bizness cards 4 a while.   it took my company a long time to give me bizness cards cos we changed our name, moved, this n' that.   lemme give u a bizness card!   i've got tons.   i wanna drop them off in fishbowls n' win free lunches everywhere!   even better, i'd like to win free dinners!   yah, carol sed in her journal that dave kim sed on.line journalists don't talk 'bout their weaknesses n' failures.   hrm...   is that true?!   i try to be honest n' open.   also i think i try to be humble.   i think if i don't talk 'bout my weaknesses or failures, it's cos 1) i'd rather not dwell on them, n' 2) well, let's say u had a webpage that had ur professional résumé on it n' potential future employers etc. were stopping by it; wouldju go 'round saying that u'r such a loser?   well, then 'gain, i hope u don't think i lie here to make myself look better cos i don't... trust me.   i try not to censor myself.   but, well... i sed that i've felt sorta restricted in what i write 'round here.   hrm... well, this place, as i always say, serves 1, 2, or more purposes: 1) a historical log 4 my own sake, 2) a place 4 me to write stuff like a newspaper column, 3) an open letter to my friends/family...   i keep saying that.   i wonder which is my most favourite journal entry?   i like some more than others of course... i like re.reading journal entries.   i must be egotistical.   a.ha! there's an admission of a weakness or something like that...   *sigh*   do u think i have low self.esteem or am i overconfident?   just wondering.   n' do i really love myself?   neway, what was i saying?   oh yah, which previous journal entry do i like best?   i dunno.   i like reading the longer entries usually.   i like 1) the 1s where i talk 'bout a topic in depth, like those columnish entries; and 2) the 1s where i can read the entry n' really reminisce 'bout what was going on @ that time in my life.   it's hard 4 me to read the entries where i just babble.   i guess this entry will not be 1 of my favourites when i look back months/yrs from now, huh?   oh well, can't win 'em all!

2nite we'll have the 1st ever demo team tryouts.   this should be good.   i gotta get my butt over to the rsf by 630p to talk to master yoon w/ sam.   sam, now there's some1 to talk 'bout 4 a sec.   i've been to his house in castro valley n' ate dinner there.   he's a nice guy.   uhm... ha ha.   it's not like i know him as "the guy who lives in castro valley n' invited me to dinner 1nce." ha ha ha.   i know him better than that.   i don't know him as well as, say, chals... but i know him n' consider him a friend.   i don't think he reads my journal, but that's ok; he doesn't need to.

u know, i've written a lot more in my journal since me n' kaela started going out. &nsp; it'll be our 8th monthversary next week!

a caper is actually a small flower bud!   i thought 'twas something more like a pepper.   but i knew they rn't spicy.   so that's what it is.   capers r great!   i know some chicken dishes that use capers.   steak tartare n' carpaccio use capers.   wasn't there a movie the great muppet caper?   i think so.   psyduck!   how r u all doing 2day?   please correspond w/ me!   e.mail me, sign my g.book, whatever... send me telepathic msgs.   u can im, icq, or y! msgr me 2.   well, 2day @ werk... werk, werk, werk... i know our boss thinks the engineers rn't werking hard enuf, so he wants us to stick strictly to a set schedule... no more getting to werk @ whatever time...   i know he wants us to werk 800a - 500p, but every1 protested.   but we still hafta write up our set schedule 4 the week.   it does feel very good to get to werk early n' leave early tho'.   i really wouldn't mind doing 800a - 500p, i guess...   i used to werk 700a - 430p every day @ ebmud, n' i'd skip every other fri.   u know the story.

2day there were some mtgs @ our office in the conf room in the "engineering suite."   a few of us engineers weren't really @ these mtgs, not really invited to the mtgs, but we really wanted in on the fud 4 the mtgs.   we waited n' waited to c if they'd offer us some.   but they didn't.   so after a long while, we just helped ourselves, but it was really funny.   it was almost like we were daring each other to be the 1st to take a sandwich.   man, oh man...   but we also knew it looked bad 4 us in light of how we're sorta being scapegoated right now...   *sigh*

it really does feel good to chat w/ ppl 'bout life, even if it's 4 a short while, like on a drive home from taekwondo practice.   sometimes sittin' in a car n' chatting is great.

so 2day @ werk we tested out some motion control equipment.   it really reminded me of me135 (or more like me134 [091400]) lab.   that felt good.   i like that feeling.   the only diff is this 800a - 500p schedule.   in me135, we'd more likely werk 800p - 500a!

i got to werk pretty much just in time 2day.   i've had a pretty bizzy day @ werk.   u know what, tho?   the boss wants every1 to werk 800a to 500p now.   *sigh*   b4 ppl had semiflexible hours.   already 1 guy quit cos of this policy, i heard.   *sigh*   i got to get to werk @ 800a?   i used to werk 700a to 430a @ ebmud, n' i'd take every other fri off.

yah, as the beautiful kaela kang sed in her journal, we ran into helen @ the pharmacy last nite.   ha ha, funny.   if only helen'd mention it in her on.line journal.   there's stuff i'd want to write in my journal, but u know?   sometimes i feel restricted.   i've been writing a lot on cafe chulho lately.   i feel like there's an s.o.p. (standard operating procedure) here where i gotta rattle of everything i do.   yah, 'member how i sed i wanted to do more creative writing 'gain?   well, i dunno...   imagine these short conversations overheard @ a meatmarket party:

woman to man: i'm so glad i can talk to u.   i get so nervous when i'm talking to guys who i'm actually attracted to, but i feel so com4table w/ u!!!! [smile]

'nother man to 'nother woman: so i started buying size 30 underwear cos my waist is so trim, but dang! they sure don't leave much room 4 my crotch! it makes it so hard to whip it out when i gotta go wee wee!

do they still have "short conversations" in the heuristic squelch.   i liked those.   ok, well, it's time to get out of here.   i might as well hurry home n' take a nap.   gotta sleep sometime, u know?

2day i had to wake up early cos the engineers @ my office headed down to san jo 4 a mtg w/ our consultants.   2morrow, i gotta get to werk b4 800a, boss's orders.   went to san jo, had mtg, ate lots'a bad.4.me pizza @ lunch, came home, did pullups n' pushups, started cd.r drive burning a bunch'a korean musik videos to clear my hard drive, took the beautiful kaela kang to sa wooei #2, n' now i'm @ kaela's place doing this journal entry as well as posting on cafe chulho.   thanks jasmine, 4 reading my journal n' sending me that comment on "mr. wong's yellow fever."   it's good to do pushups n' pullups.   i've been pretty diligent 'bout that, n' i should keep it up.   ok, tummy ache.   over n' out.

so i haven't written in a while.   thurs, practice went well.   it was fun.   then a whole mess of us ate @ the asian fud ghetto.   fri nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went over to jerome's to have dinner w/ jerome, joon, christina lee (from san jo n' my home church... teresa's li'l sis), jane lo, wendy, n' angela.   'twas a good dinner, n' we played ddr, n' i finally got to burning the final produkt of benomix3 w/ jerome's help.   it's ready.   i just need a cover.   i wish i had thought of this earlier, but i dunno... i just thought of the musik, not the image.   after dinner n' ddr, we met up w/ laura, jasmine, elley, n' her bf harry @ fenton's.   ting also came n' met us there.   we were s'pposed to go noraebang, but we didn't.   n' peter tsai was s'pposed to join us but he didn't.   the nite ended pretty early; but we had some good conversations.

sat, kaela n' i watched hardboiled n' totoro.   we ate a mish mash of leftovers n' veggies.   later, we went w/ chals to pyuhng chang soondooboo.   then we joined jerome, joon, mikey, deanna, n' brandie to watch the house on haunted hill on tape.   kaela didn't wanna watch, so she stayed in her room.   it got so hokey @ the end neway, but it was ok in some parts.   i was so sleepy by the end of the nite.   i've been really sleepy lately.

sun, 2day we had the albany housewarming potluck.   i made guacamole.   lots'a ppl came.   this afternoon, kaela cut my hair.   life is pretty good.   i was writing on cafe chulho 'bout what i'm happy 'bout n' what i wanna change in my life.   i wanna be happy.   i know that some things just take time, n' i can't rush them.   i'm glad i talked to greg yim n' his wife kiyomi last week.   they reassured me 'bout that, that some things just take time.   it's true.   b4 i know it, i'll be 30 or something.   but then will i feel accomplished, or will i feel like a loser?   *sigh*   who's gonna be the judge of that, huh?   what a strange, awkward period in life it is.   it's like being 12 'gain.   ha!   well, really... altho' middle skool n' puberty was an awkward time of life... man, it was fun, in some ways... so i guess i'll just have fun.   i don't need the pressure!

i got my teeth cleaned yesterday.   i only werked 0.5 day.   the beautiful kaela kang took me to lunch @ pho que huong on center.   i got to walk 'round in the warm sun on the berkeley campus.   then i got my teeth cleaned.   they feel so much better now.   then i picked kaela up n' we 99ed, n' i took her to katana-ya ramen on san pablo.   then we went back to her place 4 a bit.   i fell asleep on the floor.   then we went to long's drugs where i bought us some various things.   there was a drug bust going on in the parking lot.   sore throat bad.   soup noodles combat cold.

children of the depression

that sounds like a kewl name 4 a industrial or goth band, huh?   hrm...   yah or no?   don't agree w/ me just cos...   give me ur honest opinion.   i don't want saccharine smiles from my friends.   i reserve those 4 ppl i don't like.   a li'l bit of sincerity can go a long way.   sincerity goes hand in hand w/ vulnerability.   get right w/ me, my brutha.   some ppl won't truly accept u if u won't admit u need to be accepted.   "cool kids never have the time," they used to say.   they used to preach 'gainst being a go getter; there was a whole generation named x, proud to be slackers.   "reality bites," they sed.   what should they have sed?   they were in the middle of the great depression of the early 1990s.   n' yet they were young n' should'a been taking their bite of the world.   were they really that bad?   tsss... no, many gen x.ers were go getters.   just cos kurt cobain killed himself doesn't mean everything of that generation was lost!

butchu know?   me n' my homies, we ain't gen x.   n' we r not really generation y.   we 2 grew up in the midst of the great depression.   we didn't have cell fons when we were in college.   well, most of us didn't; it was still something some ppl had n' some ppl didn't.   yet we didn't go thru college w/o internet.   uclink was born my freshman yr.   ppl learned quickly.   but internet is free... was free.   u didn't pay 4 dsl; u used ur 2400 baud modem to dial in.   in those days, ppl were still flying the flannel cos grunge was still in ("westside till i die!"   those westside rappers dressed like that 2), n' u still didn't wanna look rich.   "funky chic" is that term i learned while studying 60s pop culture.   s'pposedly, the 60s was the 1st time ppl wanted to dress down, to look like they had no money.   i saw that idea get caplitalised upon in the 90s, sure! used flannels 4 $50.   i never wasted money on that kind'a crap.

i feel stuck in between x n' y.   supermike 1st talked to me 'bout the idea of "generation y," n' he sed we're generation y.   but if we're generation y then who r those kids who grew up w/ internet throuhgout high skool?   i'd call them generation i.   but i've looked 'round; there's a precedent n' standard already set.   generation y is in their teens n' maybe early 20s now.   how can ne1 be lost in between generations?   that makes no sense...   r ppl only born @ the beginnings of decades?   hrm... do other ppl born in 1975 identify w/ gen x or gen y? or r they 2 bizzy werking 4 their internet start.up companies to care?   i guess that's it.   so i should just werk hard n' keep my blinders on.

but this weekend, i got out.   'twas a labour day holiday weekend, n' i ventured into that big city they called sf.   on sat, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went w/ joon n' jerome to sf to shop in downtown, to browse thru n' eat in j.town, n' to watch highlander: endgame @ j.town's amc kabuki.   shopped, i sed: stuff cmed kind'a expensive to me; everywhere.   shiny jeans n' shiny shirts cmed kind'a overpriced.   $30 4 an important japanese magazine 'bout souped up foresters cmed kind'a expensive to me.   but then, u know what?   i've realised something.   inflation happens.   inflation happens; n' ppl have money now cos we rn't in that great depression of the early 90s.   ppl buy n' sell stock n' make money just like alex keaton did in the early 80s.   i c, so that's how it is these days.   so shouldn't i be making more?   more what?   more money!   money is the root of all evil.   money is evil.   shouldn't i be making more evil?

fri nite: joon, kaela, n' i ate @ shogun buffet on university, a korean sushi/bbq/hotpot place... basically a korean version of hotpot city, but smaller.   we ought to go to a hotboxcity or heavenly hot sometime soon.   i'd like ppl to try heavenly hot on geary.   i had never been to shogun b4.   i had been to hana sushi that was there in its place back in my days.   after pigging out, we went to burokbusuto n' rented the whole nine yards, n' chasing amy.   i love chasing amy, n' i wanted kaela to c it.   we went to the albany place n' watched the movies w/ brandie n' laura... n' marissa n' her li'l sister also watched.   yah, it cmed kind'a bad to let a li'l kid listen to all that foul language, right?   oh well...   sat: we went n' did all that sf stuff i talked 'bout earlier.   sf shopping was so crowded!   we ran into erin n' her sister by br, where we parked.   i bought a jamba juice in the fud ct below macy's.   that fud ct reminds me of walking in the basement fud ct of lotteworld last summer.   we ate @ mifune in j.town.   it's a good sobahouse.   we watched highlander, which was interesting to me cos of 1) donnie yen n' his martial arts n' 2) my past interest in playing mud n' dungeons n' dragons, etc.   sun: i luncheoned w/ my old ebmud supervisor/mentor greg yim n' his wife kiyomi @ the solano barney's.   that was really fun n' a very enriching experience 4 me.   they really helped me think 'bout my future.   we mostly talked 'bout my career n' career path, but we also talked 'bout other things.   *sigh*   yah, i've got choice to make w/ my life.   i really do.   *sigh*   neway, sun nite...   hrm, kaela n' pretty much stayed home, cleaned up stuff 'gain, n' watched the telly.   we saw my sista on the kpix news @ 1100p.   that was kewl.

mon was labour day:   we were s'pposed to go to great america, but that didn't werk out.   so i took kaela to monterey.   we had a bomb@$$ time.   i took her to the aquarium, n' she bought me a cute penguin chick.   i felt really peaceful in the aquarium.   *sigh*   wouldn't life as a marine biologist be grand?   yah, who becomes research scientists?   well, i mean, i know plenty of mcb biologists, but what 'bout marine biologists n' geologists?   how come i don't think i know ne1 who went on to do jobs like that?   i dunno.   i really want to be on some big boat in the middle of the ocean someday.   i wish i could take a transocean ride like on the titanic... but i wouldn't want my ship to sink.   i wanna look in all directions n' not c ne land.   then i wanna go to sleep, wake up the next day, n' still not c ne land.   i'd like to be in a submarine n' c squid swim by.   i'd like to take motorcycle riding classes.   underwater motorcycle riding classes in the deep sea w/ lots'a squid swimming by!   will beno ever be satisfied?   but i'm happy.   my entry title might have "depression" in it, but i'm not depressed.   i'm very happy.   i'm happy that kaela's w/ me.   i think 'bout her, n' i'm really happy to have such a wonderful gf.   toby called me yesterday, but i didn't get his call, just his v.mail.   his v.mail was all staticky.   he was driving back from sacto.   after eating @ bubba gump's n' walkin' 'round cannery row a li'l, we drove back up the 1 cross 92 to 880/980/24 to get home.   we went over to chals's to pick up totoro n' we stayed to chat w/ chals n' sandy.

2nite is the beginning of the fall 2000 taekwondo semester.   mtg 2nite @ 600p.   we're s'pposed to have a casual get2gether @ kip's afterwards 2.

i figured i'd comment on icebox.com's mr. wong series.   laura fwded me an e.mail asking ppl to voice up 'gainst mr. wong.   laura admitted that she's never cn the on.line series but was fwding the e.mail to let us know of its existence n' give us the opportunity to c it 4 ourselves n' come to our own conclusions on if it's racist or not.   well, after my caffeine hangover day of werk, i went to the beautiful kaela kang's home, n' we viewed the series on her superfast 'puter.   well, we watched it.   u know, it is pretty comical...   it really pokes fun @ lots of diff areas of life n' american society.   it mocks the elite rich by having that debutante, spoiled gurl.   it sorta, in general, mocks the conservative views n' lifestyle of 1950s america.   but yah, mr. wong is this disgusting caricature.   he speaks w/ this unrealistically ridiculous cantonese accent.   i guess it's the same guy that did "combo no. 5."   i know some asian.american media ppl were very pissed 'bout "combo no. 5," n' it was recorded by an actual asian.american...   but so many asian.american entertainers do a big disservice to their community n' heritage.   it happens all the time.   if only all asian.american entertainers had that mission statement that b.d. wong wrote 4 himself, saying he'd only take on roles that positively affect the asian.american community.   that's kewl.

neway, mr. wong, the character, is really disgusting...   sorta like a mutated version of mr. burns or something... he's all frail, hunchbacked, weak, etc.   so this series has a negative portrayal of an asian.   he's not a bad guy; in fact, he's mostly the protagonist n' mostly benevolent; but in that "i feel so sorry 4 the weak guy" kind'a way...   viewer's feel sorry 4 weak, helpless mr. wong, while they'd relate more to that debutante gurl.   she's the norm.

well, 'member when muts sed that this is how american media does its thing: the white female is the highest on the ethnogender value spectrum.   the white male is the norm on it.   the black race is supermasculine; n' the asian race is superfeminine.   so black women n' asian males get the diss, while asian women n' black males get exalted.   that's the way muts tells the story, n' i think that's the way they tell it in berkeley's asian.am classes, n' i guess that's the way american media really is.   'member when i discussed the stereotype of the asian martial artist w/ phil?   back then, phil had yet to take a single taekwondo class.   he sed, tho', that he didn't mind the stereotype cos it's actually positive.   he alluded to a black male who called into the lovelines radio show n' complained 'bout the stereotype of black males having big penises.   dr. love, or whatever he's called (not dr. drew.. this was on kroq or kome, i 4get which.), asked, 'why r u complaining?! it's a good stereotype... 'least it benefits u!"   hrm...   yah, true.   it's funny that b4 i did taekwondo, i sed that 1 misconception americans might have of me is that they'd assume i did martial arts just cos i'm asian, but i didn't...   ha!   well, it's not a misconception much now, is it?

so mr. wong has 1 very bad portrayal of an asian, but it also has 1 very good portrayal of a south asian!   the indian doctor is portrayed as very handsome n' sexy.   south asians r asians 2, right?   some ppl'd say indians r part of the indo.aryan race; some'd say india is on the asian continent, there4 (3 dot symbol) indians r asians.   think... apu.   is he a good or bad 4 asian.america.   sometimes apu is just 'nother farcical minority american character.   'member when he n' his bro sanjay were dancing n' yelling cos they had some good 4tune doing something?   it really mocked south asian culture.   but apu also represents the south asian.american population.   he's south asian, n' he's very present in the simpsons.   u can't deny the existence of a southasian.american population or community.   his wife manjula is portrayed as very sexy; so she's perhaps a very positive south asian character.   i keep saying "south asian;" so r indians asians or not?!   in some particular pts of space n' time, pilipino americans have declared that they r not yellow asians but brown latino/asians.   whoa, what can u say to that?   as i know it, there or pinoy/pinay, tisoy (chinese), n' mixed ethnicity ppl in da pinas.   i think pilipinos r definitely asians.   some ppl, when they think of asian races, only think of cjk, chinese/japanese/korean.   i'll tell u, tho'; i feel the most influenced by this particular cultural triad, yet i don't wanna say cjk r the only asian races or the only important asian races.   these 3 r very linked, tho'.   uh, but hold up, hold up, hold up!   beno's not s'pposed to call himself "chinese" @ all... taiwanese!   ok... 4 all political purposes i'm "taiwanese," but in the whole scheme of things, u know i support the asian panethnicity, so i'll definitely accept being called "chinese" in certain contexts.   there's way 2 much division amongst the asian race already n' the chinese (umbrella term) community doesn't help it @ all by rein4cing differences btwn their subcultures.   but taiwanese'd say that they've got some chinese influence, but they've also got much japanese influence.   true dat, wouldn'tchu say?   why does my grandpa speak fluent japanese?   that's the language in which he chats w/ some of his friends; it's not just some interest or hobby; he really speaks japanese.   american scholars cm to be pissed by stuff like this.   i think it confuses americans.   'why does this taiwanese man speak japanese?   why does this chinese guy speak korean?   the world's not s'pposed to be like that?   aaaaaah!!!!'

chals is gonna visit his grandparents in az.   it's a nonavg family arrangement, n' his grandma is 0.5 kr n' 0.5 jp, while his grandpa (non.biological) is caucasian.   c, chals, u n' i both have a bit of white in us!   u know, biologically we have some racial categorisation.   culturally, we have 'nother.   u've got race, nationality, ethnicity, culture, cultural background, nation of origin, heritage, ancestry, breed, language...   it's pretty complex, huh?

neway, so is mr. wong a good thing or bad thing?   aw, c'mon... didju really think i'd come to a conclusion like that?   hrm... i support a militant asian.american uprising movement.   african.americans didn't get where they r 2day w/o a fight.   u saw how they edited out the "sideshow raheem" clip from the "i love lisa" episode?   it appears in the retailed video tape, but not the aired rerun!   how is it offensive?   krusty is s'pposed to whack sideshow raheem w/ a bat n' abuse him like he does w/ all his other sidekicks (bob n' mel).   but raheem sez something like "i wouldn't!"   n' krusty stops.   so it sorta lightheartedly mocks the militant black movement of the late 60s / 70s, right?   well, looks like some1 got offended cos it got edited out.   or did some1 just think 'twasn't funny?   of course u know that this reference hits 2 issues @ 1nce, (i don't like to kill burdies.): 1) the 60s/70s militant black movement did some good to improve the quality of life 4 some african.americans. 2) racial stereotypes offend ppl, n' stuff gets edited out.   militant activism 4 the asian.american community is good.   militant yellow trash?   uh, not so good.

censorship:   so we've got mr. wong, "combo no. 5," n' then the bloodhound gang's "yellow fever," the song that portrays asian women as helpless, exoticised sextoys.   altho' i don't think there was enuf outrage over "yellow fever," i think that offended asian.americans have suceeded in keeping the bloodhound gang's popularity kind'a down, u know?   yah, n' it serves them right.   i'm not stoopid tho'; i do know that the bloodhound gang's lyrics, in general, don't mean to target ne 1 specific group, but they intend to offend every1, not leave ne1 out; n' no 1's s'pposed to take them seriously.   c, but in supporting a strong asian.american uprising mvmnt, i'd hafta say, "yah, that's all fine n' dandy, but oh well... sorry, maybe u shouldn't mess w/ asians."   check out modelminority.com, n' their article.   u can read the lyrics there.   in a way they rn't offensive cos they're just so plain silly n' nonsensical.   it's like, u can tell it's not like they really hate asians or nething, but they intended to write a piece that almost satirizes racism.   but i dunno.   i c laziness in this idea.   it's not a well.thought out idea.   i c plenty of stoopidity on the part of the bloodhound gang.   u know, alhtho' i fail to c a true werk of racial hatred n' genocidal tendencies in this composition, i do c a lack of respect 4 the asian community.   c, that's where the mistake is.   there hasta be that irrationally militant sector who makes every1 think 2ice 'bout saying "nigga" no matter what the context.

so the bloodhound gang expresses some opinions on asian women.   i heard of some hip hop group called azn pride or something.   i 'member reading some of their lyrics, "who got the women..."   i think they're praising asian women, saying that the asian race has the bomb.a$$est women, u know?   u know, that's good to hear.   sometimes in the ethnogender arena, it cms like somehow asian men n' asian women have been pitted against each other.   it shouldn't be like that.   unity.

free wenho lee!   we had all the "free mumia" stuff, all the overabundant "free tibet" stuff.   why isn't there "free wenho lee" stuff?   cos he be an asian man, that's why!   ha ha.   do i say that in gest?   i think it's funny to say, n' it's funny cos it's true.   asian.americans should vote gore/liebermann, as the apc sez.   how much does the republican party benefit asian.americans?   well, u got republicans like matt fong n' ed park.   ask them.   why did peru manage to get an asian president b4 the united states?

my sistah's gonna be on the kpix ch5 news sat, sun, n' mon.   look 4 her!   here's a shout out to perry seto 4 checkin' out our websites!   n' he sez he does it regularly.   keep it real, perry!   u show 'em where it's @!   if u 'member, during my 2nd dan test, i had 2 2.on.1 spar w/ perry n' frank choy or berkeley, n' my mom was so freaked!   the guy w/ the moustache, that's perry.   he does a lot 4 the taekwondo program @ cal, that's perry.

last nite, kaela n' i went to costco to pic up pics; beautiful kaelapics.   i gotta resume posting pics on my website; but i dunno... r ppl looking @ pics on my website?   maybe they ain't cos i ain't postin' no new pics!   o i c.   ok, well, maybe someday soon.   after costco, we moved kaela's halogen lamp into my room.   we really cleaned my room up!!!   i dunno...   i felt so depressed n' happy all @ 1nce last nite.   i've been really moody lately.   do u think it's some adverse side affect from sobe?   then chals n' joon came over n' kicked it.   (kicked what?)   they wanted me to take them to safeway, but we ended up jes' chillin'.   we played guitar n' sang praise songs.   hrm...   yah, it was a bit of a flashback, but that's what we did.   i was very happy to kick it w/ chals n' joon.   (i asked, 'kicked what/?!?!?!')   now it's friday.

i don't drink coffee often @ all.   2day, i drank a cup of joe, a diet pepsi, n' an md.   i want to be more energetic during werk mtgs.   caffeine gives me a buzz, n' now i have a really bad hangover.   on tues, the beautiful kaela kang gave me a soundblaster live! platinum as a 7 month anniversary present or a b.day present; i'm not sure which.   i wanted 1.   i almost ruined it by buying it myself, but i was gonna try to get it via ken 1st; n' kaela told ken not to let me get it.   also that nite, i got to hang w/ chals @ my place.   kaela cooked up some beanie weanie w/ veggies.   i'm glad i got to ketchup w/ chals.   nice to hear from him.   so yesterday, kaela n' i skipped practice.   i was so tired after werk, but i decided, instead of napping, to try to stay awake till 'bout midnite, then to crash hard, fast asleep.   i installed the soundblaster live! platinum, n' tried to solve that cd.r prob.   tried.   i really need more diskspace.   i stayed up much later than i planned n' was so tired.   well, i'm tired now.   caffeine crash/hangover.   i feel so hopeless 'bout what i'm gonna do this evening.   i feel so tired n' drained.   i wish i could go to the rsf n' either practice or exercise in other ways, but... *sigh* yah, i feel so hopelessly tired.   i ate fattening pizza 4 lunch.   i think we'll go to costco to pick up pics.   man, i do feel so drained tho'...   man, i'm gonna turn into a regular werking guy, all fat n' lazy...

2day i wore fall colours.   labour day is next mon, so i'm premature, but why not?   it rained in corte madera 2day.   the preview to the weather report on last nite's news mentioned rain.   i missed the actual report, but i assumed they wouldn't say in the preview, "sunshine to rain in the bay area?   the weather report right after these messages," n' then say in the actual weather report, "sunshine to rain in the bay area?   pshaw, 'course not!   expect a record heat wave starting 2morrow."   i trusted them.   so i wore long sleeves.   "i grow old. . . i grow old. . . i shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled."   kaela thought i was dressing nicely, but i was just dressing to keep warm.   i loaned her my yellow umbrella i bought on my b.day in korea last yr.   i wonder if she used it.   maybe 'twas sunny in b.town 2day, i dunno.

after werk yesterday, i swung by costco to drop off some film.   costco was bizzy as usual, but i just had to drop off that film.   i think maybe a lot of students were stocking up 4 the semester.   i picked up the beautiful kaela kang from the oxford starbucks.   i was hungry.   we parked @ a nice space on durant.   i stopped by wall berlin to pick up a berrypeach scone n' use their potty.   then we shopped @ octopus.   yeh, kewl stuff... but "do i dare eat a peach?"   i'm not sure what's trendy n' what's me.   sharon kim saw kaela there n' they talked.   then kaela called me over to say hi, n' i totally didn't recognise her @ 1st.   upes! but i guess kaela knows her from mcb stuff 2, so i'm not that 4getful...   it'd be kewl if she'd give us "hookups" @ octo; $#!+'s 2 expensive there...   we went to urban after that.   eh, most of the guys' stuff was way 2 subdued 4 me; 2 much of the poet, neobeatnik stuff.   i much preferred the stuff @ octo.   kaela saw some cute baby tees w/ cute animals embroidered onto them, but she thought the shirt was 2 tight.   tss, she's so slim, she shouldn't worry 'bout that, i think.   but it's ok.   the shirt was aqua, n' i notice more aqua these days.   then we went home n' cooked jjajangmyuhn.   i had to run out to andronico's to pick up some groceries that we lacked.   man! andronico's is a rip.   frickin' 59¢ a bunch.   dude! it's like 3/99¢ @ 99!   neway, i bought a bunch'a andronico's stoopid sexy vegetables n' hurried back.   we chopped meat... oh yah! we made chicken jjajangmyuhn!   healthier, right?   well, kaela cut her finger cutting veggies, so after we bandaged her up, i told her to rest in front of the telly, n' i'd finish.   i stirred, stirred, n' it was time to put in the sauce.   u know, i was tempted to put in corn starch like in the taiwanese jiajiangmien that my mom taught me to make, but then i realised that the potatoes give the sauce enuf starch.   we made tons of jjajangmyuhn, n' we have tons of leftovers.   i ate some 4 lunch 2day.   we watched the rest of the simpsons tapes that toby gave me.   later, i talked to chals.   i like to hear from chals.

we missed practice.   we semi.missed it, n' semi.boycotted it, honestly...   we knew there'd be a team mtg.   it's not that we don't want to support the team, but we don't know what our places r there.   i'm not eligible to compete 4 collegiates.   kaela's bizzy n' is a 1st keub.   do ppl want me to devote all my time 2ward fundraising 4 the team?   what 'bout my taekwondo priorities, i.e. demo team!   demo team shouldn't hafta take a backseat nemore!   some ppl werk damn hard to put on good demos here @ cal.   i really dream of the day that cal can say they have a world class demo team, the day when ppl'll say that we've got the only demo team worth cing in amerika.   those r my hopes n' dreams or aspirations.   so i don't c why i shouldn't be allowed to pursue it.   frick, it cost $150 a semester now to take taekwondo @ cal.   @ private studios, black belts often don't pay @ all.   here, black belts pay just as much, n' they're expected to do more volunteer werk.   i'm not totally 'gainst the system, n' i don't want to disrespect the institution that taught me almost all i know 'bout taekwondo.   i accept responsibility n' try to take initiative, try to take leadership positions.   why would ne1 want to be a leader in ne club?   cos u care 'bout the club, cos u've been 'round n' know the ropes, cos u'r a brownnoser, cos u have power power power...   it's really stressful sometimes, so why would i want to be a leader 'round the taekwondo club n' ucmap?   well, yah, i care.   i feel very grateful 4 my taekwondo instructors n' the program 4 teaching me all this taekwondo n' 4 giving me a healthier lifestyle physically, mentally, psychologically...   yeh, it's almost spiritual, but no... i'm no cult member.   i have religious beliefs, n' altho' taekwondo has enriched my life, it doesn't save my soul.

a coupl'a nites 'go as i was waiting 4 an updated version of the 1 track version of benomix3 to burn, i played guitar n' sang 4 kaela.   i played church worship songs!   she's never heard me play/sing this kind'a stuff, yet she knows i was 1nce a worship team leader @ my home church, that i played guitar 4 iv small group fellowships, n' this n' that...   n' she knows these songs from when she went to church, n' she knows how it is.   but she's never combined me w/ these religious experiences.   well, now she's cn/heard.

i had to burn 'nother "1 track version" of benomix3 cos i still can't get my plextor to burn in disc@1nce mode!   i've pondered buying a cheap ide burner 4 kaela's 'puter.   i burned 2 discs last nite 2: 1) a disc of various gayo mp3s n' 2) baby v.o.x. 4.   baby v.o.x., some gurly gurly group, right?   5 li'l gurls... it's like a mini choir or something...   but somehow the hiphoppish beats in their musik catch onto me.   it's like, i know they might have 0 talent, but whoever programs their musik does a good job... that's all.   i'm running very low on cdrs now, cos i'm wasting so many discs trying to get benomix3 to burn right.   n' these r brand name tdk discs!   i need to get more.

so the baby pigeons have all grown up n' flown away.   isn't that crazy.   now all i got is a big, big dung pile!

[later]   i 4got to mention that yesterday, on telly n' durant, we saw bernard kerry huang, the other bernard hw/uang!   so i introduced him to kaela.   he's moving back home to san jo to study cs.   he went to leland hs w/ me n' followed me to cal.   they call him "berny," n' me... uh... "beno," as u might know.   wow, i've been running into ppl lately.   on sun, in macy's, i saw tushar, vince's old roommate.   we saw jin choi outside of isobune on sat nite.   man, sorry to put all u guys after the burdy dung!

i woke up on sat so optimistic, so motivated.   i felt so refreshed n' ready to take on the world.   i admit: i have been very moody lately.   on fri nite, joon, jerome, the beautiful kaela kang, n' i went to berkel berkel 4 dinner.   i used to avoid that place 'lot cos i didn't think it was 2 good.   i know josh took jerome there a lot, so now jerome's a big fan of berkel berkel.   cos jerome likes it, it makes the likelihood that we'll end up there a li'l higher.   u know, in the past, the only kalbi restaurants i went to were koryo sootbool n' sam won... oh, n' of course brothers!   but jerome n' brandie's influences have gotten me to go to berkel berkel, goryo (upes, i mean, "koryo...") boonshik n' shikdorak. (upes, i mean "shik do rock.")   neway, berkel berkel isn't all that bad... ha ha. it's not that jerome has bad taste! 'course not!   b4 jerome's influence re: berkel berkel; i went there 1nce w/ owen, n' we ordered lots'a sushi.   as long as we're patronising the berkely telly ave korean joints, we might as well go to beariyaki sometime, hey?   we went back to my place, n' deanna, mike, n' darlene came over.   we were s'pposed to watch some of the chow yun fat tapes that sam, chals, n' sung gave me 4 my b.day.   we were to watch the videos as kaela n' i did laundry.   we didn't get to finish our laundry there cos some1 took all the dryers, so we brought our wet laundry out to albany to dry it @ brandie n' kaela's.   while clothes dried, we bought groceries @ albany safeway.

so sat morning, i woke up all ready to go rafting.   we hurried our butts to warren hall, where 4 busses waited!   wow!   the skool of public health really treats its students well, i c.   i met kaela's friend maria n' her bf alex.   kaela n' i fell asleep on the ride up to sacto.   well, we got up there.   nice weather!   we put on sunscreen n' stuff.   so 8-9 ppl got into each raft, which was designed 4 up to 12 ppl.   they rented more rafts than they needed 4 the 100 or so ppl.   it was so relaxing.   i thought we were going "whitewater" rafting, but apparently we were just going rafting.   the river was so calm!   the excitement was from waterfights.   but that's all good; the trip was relaxing.   i got to wear my swim trunks... the excessive 3rd pair that i own, the 1s i bought @ j.crew down south cos i needed a pair 2 swim in kaela's pool cos i couldn't skinny dip there.   u know, i had never cn so many out.of.shape guys take off their shirts.   it cms like most nonbuff/cut guys'd rather keep their shirts on most everywhere else i go.   well, 'twas a fun time.   we went back to the bus when we were thru.   we were so thirsty, n' coincidentally, we saw a bunch of korean markets in the strip mall that the busses were waiting 4 us.   weird, huh?   in the middle of what cmed to be a semi boonies suburb... well, the city is rancho cordova, n' we don't know much 'bout it.   so we went n' bought drinks n' fell asleep on the ride home.   we were 2 tired to go to avaron w/ the crew, so i took kaela out to dinner @ isobune in j.town.   we ordered all the good stuff!   we i wanted to show her my neighbour totoro on video, but i guess i lent the tape out to chals.   we had to go back out from my apt to reel video, but they were closed, so we went to burokbusuto, where we rented dogma altho' i 4got the 2.4.1 coupon.   nuts; but dogma's an awesome movie.   i wanted to show her chasing amy instead, but it was out.   i want to show p. crew my life as a dog cos it's so hilarious.   my dad brought me to c that movie @ camera 3 in san jo.   i worry that my credibility w/ foreign, artsyfartsy flicks was blown away thanks to romance n' irma vep.   but really!   my life as a dog is hilarious n'll make u miss supermike's conversations.

sun, we shopped in sf.   i was looking more 4 funky stuff.   'course there was kewl stuff @ rolo, but it's not like i should sell my stock to buy a pair of pants, u know?   didja notice that shiny jeans r the thing now?   i bought kaela some things cos she's such a hot babe, n' she makes stuff look good.   i got her a jacket @ guess? n' a backless halter there 2.   we shopped a while, but i wanted shop more.   'member shopping makes me happy.   but i was really stressed n' frazzled from driving.   as i sed, i've been moody.   so kaela took me to dinner @ the fancy restaurant prego on union st. in sf.   i got to have carpaccio!   we had a nice dinner there.   then 'twas back to the east bay to get kaela ready 4 the 1st day of skool.

so it's the 1st day of skool @ cal.   the news'll talk 'bout that.   i saw a news van on campus.   so many skool yrs now have started n' ended sans beno.   it almost doesn't affect me nemore.   it's just that kaela n' toby r in grad skool, n' all these kids r still in skool.   i'm so used to skool going on w/o me now tho'...   it used to feel so weird, but i've come to accept it.

i was so exhausted, tired, stressed, depressed, n' sleepy when i got home from werk yesterday.   i took a nap @ home while the beautiful kaela kang watched tv.   i missed taekwondo practice.   when i woke up, i told kaela i'd take her to ben n' jerry's.   we tried.   we also brought 'long my li'l tv to watch the simpsons.   we saw chals, brandie, n' jerome on the curbside in front of the rsf.   we got to b n' j's, n' thought we had gotten there right b4 they closed... then they closed as we pulled into our parking spot right in front of the store.   *sigh*   but then i drove us to party safeway to buy pints of b n' j's to go.   i chose popcorn n' peanuts, n' kaela chose monkey wrench.   yummy stuff, i tell u!   popcorn n' peanuts, an interesting idea, i thought.   but man! whoa, it's really fattening!   i think 1 serving's got 69% of ur usrda of sat fat! *sigh* it's got white chocofudge covered caramel corn n' choco covered peanuts in vanilla aisukuriimu w/ caramel swirl.   whoa, huh?   dang.   can i drown my sorrows in aisukuriimu?   i wasn't that depressed, was i?   when i woke up, i talked to kaela 'bout all my anxieties 'bout career n' life, etc.   that helped.   n' i found the picture i clipped out of the newspaper i found @ the rsf, the pic of a doggy holding a big, driftwood branch in his mouth on an sf beach.   i think it's very cute.   someday... doggy.

hrm... it cms like i've been sorta moody lately, huh?   i've talked lately 'bout how i do miss doing stuff, activities...   like, a yr 'go, the group had more activities... we went to great america, we'd go to movies, we'd do stuff like paintballing... well, that was longer 'go...   but we'd be a li'l more active n' adventurous.   we live in the bay area, n' there's such a variety of things to do; we should do them...   neway, that's just 1 thought i've had lately.   i've been trying to get my plextor cd.r to record zero pre.gap cds, i.e. benomix3.   well, i've got some aspi prob.   remind me to reupdate my aspi layer when i get home.   i know it checks out ok w/ aspichk.exe, but maybe there's something messed up.   something's preventing me from recording in disk@once mode.   i had a 2 part lunch 2day: 1st cantaloupe, then 2 veggie corndogs later on.   so i heard the calapalooza demo got skrewed up, n' taekwondo didn't do their demo.   still, i really appreciate all the help from taekwondo ppl, 'specially chals n' sam 4 organising the whole thing.   man, it's a predicament tho', the ucmap demo n' taekwondo demo team situation.   *sigh*   well, i'd like to help, n' do stuff, whatever i can...   i need to know 4 sure what my role is 'round here tho'.

i still have jocelyn's dj miko cd.   i'll return it.   i really will.   i just keep thinking i'll copy it b4 i return it, but i never copy it.   a short clip of it appears on benomix3.   well, i'm 25 as of mon.   i wanna thank all who came to party/celebrate on sun n' especially thank kaela cos she did so much!   wow... i haven't written here in a while.   well, i dunno if i can even begin to recap everything, so i'll just talk, i guess.   fri nite, i stayed home.   weird, huh?   it'd been a tuff day @ werk to top off a long week of werk n' werking out.   kaela n' i were pretty good 'bout practicing regularly throughout last week.   i think a m-th evening werkout schedule is fine.   it's nice to go out n' play on fri nite.   neway, we didn't go out n' play, we stayed home.   the whole week, kaela n' i also started up this cooking thing; we started cooking 'gain.   i made chicken cacciatore 1 nite... uh, we made some grilled chicken boboli pizzas 'nother nite... fri nite, kaela made mabo tofu w/ chicken n' shrooms inside.   i finished up editting benomix3.   now i had to find a way to record it properly.   well, i'm still, as they say, "s-o-l."   i tried lots'a things, but i can't get my plextor 4x12x to write w/o putting in pregraps...   there's something wrong w/ the aspi.   hairdye n' korean musik videos.

sat, we went to shirley liang n' willy wang's wedding.   we barely caught the tail end.   then jerome joined us to go deejay their reception @ the silver dragon.   good fud!   i loved the walnut prawns.   it was a good time.   dang... i saw so many ppl i hadn't cn in a long time. *sigh*   n' so many ppl r married now.   i saw aaron jorgenson w/ juliet from upstairs in foothill...   (phil'd be interested 'bout this, since he lived in the foothill suite w/ me.)   later that evening, i told eileen that i recognised aaron's gf; she replied, "that's not his gf." then i sed, "oh, i mean, his date..."   then she sed, "she's not his date, she's his wife!"   upes... whoa!!!!   that's kewl tho'.   i bet they're happy 2gether.   they're both really fun ppl.   i just never thought they'd ever meet each other.   they were 2 diff ppl from 2 diff areas of my life, maybe even 2 periods of my life, early college n' mid college yrs.   ha!   i guess it's sorta like liwen's cing me n' kaela 2gether... ha ha ha.   well, it's been so much fun gettin' back into deejaying, i gotta say.   man!   i'm having a blast.   ha ha.   kaela got to c me deejay 4 her 1st time.   that was just a taste!   the wedding dance party part only lasted a short while... a full.on party party'd last a lot longer!   she saw how deejaying could be stressful.   i tried to give jerome some good experience when the crowd was mostly leaving.   we had lots'a lifting n' lugging that nite; our back suffered, altho' we tried to take care of them.   we quickly swung by koko house to say hi to jason, mikey, deanna, leo, darlene, joon, n' brandie.   jerome drove me n' kaela there, but brandie drove us home cos the rest went off to watch the original kings of comedy.   kaela n' i were 2 tired.   brandie sed she's 2 old 4 that life, n' i was wondering what 'bout me?   i'm a yr older than brandie...   i felt so weird going from a world where ppl my age r mostly married to koko house w/ taekwondo ppl...   2 diff lifestyles 4 sure.   jason's back.   that's kewl.   n' mikey's back 4 good now...   summer break... weird, huh?

sun, kaela cooked me lunch, a big, asian feast! thai shrimp soup, chinese prawns w/ broccoli, a vietnamese chicken w/ bean noodle dish, n' this stewed chinese mushroom n' baby corn dish.   yum, yum, yum.   i was so stuffed.   'twas all good fud!   then joon n' jerome came to do this b.day ritual thing they made up, i guess...   they told me to get into some i don't normally wear, something like a halloween costume...   i didn't know what else, so i put on my paintballing jumpsuit.   i was already wearing a white wifebeater.   so i was wearing the paitballing jumpsuit w/ the top tied 'round my waist, the wifebeater; n' now jerome tied a black bandana 'round my head.   then he put a belt 'round my neck as a leash n' handed it to kaela.   then they stuck a "do not feed the animal" sign on my back.   so they had kaela walk me 'round telegraph n' unit 3.   ah, 1nce 'gain i was a piece of berkeley life...   'twas like the time in iv when i had to hold the "free hugs" sign on sproul.   i was somewhat of a campus personality, i guess... 4 a brief time.   yah, it makes me happy to do stuff like that...   'member how when owen n' i saw the unicycle guy in pink tights, owen sed, "u'll never c an asian guy doing that," n' he meant it in a good n' bad way.   i mean, besides the "happy happy happy" guy on sproul, u don't c 'nuff asian ppl doing weird, weird things that represent berkeley crazyppl life.   neway, so they walked me down telly.   then they had me take off my shirt 4 a henna tattoo (2 burdies) that didn't actually werk (didn't stain my skin well 'nuff), but it looked kewl while the henna was actually still on my back.   so i was walked thru unit 3, 'round the dc n' back to my apt shirtless.   i heard freshmen n' parents were staring, n' some conservative parents, 'specially the asian 1s, were sorta aghast.   well, i hope so... that'd be kewl.   but in ne case, 'twas good fun.   jerome also bought me a coupl'a calvin n' hobbes stickers.   man, we were really doing the berkeley telly scene!   it was kewl...   then we went home to change to do the rest of my b.day thing.

ppl took me out to dinner @ harris ranch steakhouse.   i was so happy to get to try steak tartare!   raw meat!   who was there? the beautiful kaela kang, darlene, leo, deanna, mikey, chals, jason, brandie, jerome, joon, patrick, owen, romy, laura...   it was a pretty pricey dinner.   i really appreciate them taking me to such a nice place.   we all felt a li'l underdressed n' stuff, but 'twas all good.   i opened erin's present @ the restaurant b4 cake.   we left, n' then they took me back to my place 4 more partying n' presents.   sam n' josh joined us there.   kaela did so much to put on the party.   i really appreciate all here effort!   a semi.unidentified group of ppl gave me some studio monitor speakers, nice 1s.   i can hook them up to my yamaha receiver, which was a b.day present last yr.   we tested them out.   they sound good.   the manager got some complaints from neighbours tho', n' told us not to do that.   then chals had me briefly tell the story of my life up to now...   he wanted to hear funny n' juicy stuff, n' i tried to oblige.   chals, sam, n' sung gave me a trio of john woo / chow yun fat videos.   i haven't watched them yet, but i can't wait.   'twas a fun nite.

mon, i saw toby.   shk jook n' seaweed / egg drop soup.   toby gave me a trio of simpsons videos.   it's so kewl!   we didn't get to watch them tho'.   s.mike called from va.   he had no clue 'twas my b.day; he just called.   kaela n' toby started watching chinese connection, n' i joined them later.   s.mike had stories to tell.   well, i guess he's doing his part to live up the swingin' guy life.

tues, practice...   chals n' sam r organising the calapalooza demo.   jerome, joon, brandie, n' efren r gonna help out.   that's kewl.   after practice, kaela n' i went home.   i cooked chicken curry, n' kaela cooked miyuhkgook.   we ate n' watched simpsons.

25 yrs of my life n' still trying to get up that great big hill of hope to a destination.   from the 4 non blondes' "what's up"

i never liked the 4 non blondes much, but i'll listen to the dj miko version.   do i wanna feel that hopeless? that 0.25 life crisised?   no, i don't want to.   i talk to chals 'bout how i feel that life has few gauges now.   what do 25 yr old ppl do?   i'm not gonna compare myself to other 25 yr olds am i?   some make millions, some barely make money, some r still in skool, some never went to skool (college)... buy high, sell low; buy low, sell high.   who would'a thought all those pro skaters that were big when i was in middle skool'd still be pro skaters?   toby sez he's afraid to get back into the skool environment.   did i ever leave?   another skool yr starts in berkeley.   it almost doesn't make me blink.   i used to feel so left out whenever skool resumed.   how could berkeley skool life go on w/o me?   the kind of feeling kids get when the stay home sick from skool...   this yr, i almost don't feel it; but i know i will cos kaela n' toby'll be starting grad skool.   4 a while i was really good 'bout updating my journal.   nowadays, i'm pretty bad; but i don't have time.   i like cooking 'gain.   but sometimes dining out is a social experience.   yah, we miss last yr n' the unity of p.crew; but there's more fun to be had 2.   life progresses, life changes, n' life cycles 'round.   u do 1 thing, u do 'nother, u go back to doing things u like...   so what is beno s'pposed to do?   beno should do whatever beno wants to do, right?   hrm...   that's easy advice: buy low, sell @ the peak, mimimise ur losses... uh, easier sed than done.   i was 1nce ur age.   or else i'll someday be ur age.   please discuss.

[later]   u know what a hair splinter is, right?   when u have shortly buzzed hair, sometimes u get hair spinters when a short hair; which is no longer rooted, came out, whatever; embeds an end into ur skin.   i had a hair splinter on the side of the outside of my nose!   i didn't wanna take tweezers n' go into the bathroom to pull it out, or it'd look like i was pulling nosehairs or boogers out... if ne1 saw.   so i took a cd n' tweezers from the shop n' per4med the operation in private.   hair splinter!

psyduck!   ...   ...   psyduck!   i'm staying late @ werk, n' now i'm doing this journal entry.   i thought 'twas 517p 4 a sec cos i saw the clock on the thermostat, but then i returned to my 'puter n' realised 'twas 617p.   *sigh*   time, time, time.   i'm hungry.   yah, all i ate 4 lunch was leftover chicken cacciatore that i was s'pposed to eat yesterday.   yesterday, i filled up on leftover noah's bagels instead, but i was still hungry by the end of the werkday.   well, it's ok.   my stomach prob'ly expanded recently.   'twas a warm day in corte madera 2day.   werk werk werk.   hrm... i'll admit that sometimes i wonder if i'm being paid enuf here.   *sigh*   'least traffic wasn't 2 bad coming in this morn.

last nite, practice, n' then the ever.beautiful kaela kang n' i made boboli pizzas w/ portabello shrooms, grilled chicken, sun.dried tomatoes, peppers, green onions... stuff like that.   yum yum.   'twasn't 2 hard 4 such a satisfying meal.   i mean, it wasn't as easy as frozen dinners or frozen pizza, but it wasn't like spending 4 hrs on making lamb moussaka n' avgolemono soup or nething.   psyduck!   i like kaela.   kaela is great!

happy burthday eileen!   i haven't cn eileen in a long time, but i know it's her b.day 2day.   (i don't think she reads this neway...)   i'll c her this sat when i deejay willie wang n' shirley liang's wedding.   i'm hungry.   shirley sez we'll get fed @ the reception.   that's good.

hrm... i'm hungry n' not that energetic right now.   i don't think that makes 4 very good journal writing.   it's almost 630p now.   i wanted to swing by costco on the way to kaela's albany place, but i dunno if i wanna deal w/ the long lines @ costco right now.   'course if i don't get the film now, it might be harder to find later.   i always look 4ward so much to cing kaelapics!

if u haven't heard by now, we have baby pigeons living on our balcony!   a pigeon couple has 2 babies, n' they all live there.   they poop all over the place, n' many flies come to eat their poop.   nasty, huh?   but the baby pigeons themselves r very cute!   u really ought to come n' c them!   altho' some ppl consider pigeons "rats w/ wings," as they say in goodfeathas, i'd like to give them a li'l more respect.   after all, they r still burdies.   how could i dislike ne burdy?

so i haven't talked all that much 'bout all sorts of stuff that's gone on since n' during the time we were in san jo.   well, the beautiful kaela kang's journal details some of it.   yes, on fri, jerome drove joon n' phil down to my san jo home.   joon bought an lg fon from ken, jerome reactivated his pager, n' i reactivated chals's.   then josh came n' joined us.   i took all the berkeleyfolk out to the korean area of san jo on el camino real...   well, it's not really san jo out there, it's sunnyvale.   we went to palace (koongjuhn) bbq buffet.   my dad took me there a long time 'go.   it's sorta expensive, $17.99, but u have the opportunity to try to make up that amt in the meat u eat, right?   yes, we tried.   jerome n' his chadolbaeki...   we were pretty full, n' we had much surplus meat.   the waitress was sorta pissed we wasted so much fud, but josh told her we ran out of time to cook it.   they were closing n' were kicking us out.   we were s'pposed to meet ken n' others @ monet, a korean bar, not 2 far 'way.   ken, grace, young.i, tim chen, gordon, ryan nishikawa, n' hogan were all there already, eating yangnyuhm tongdalk, etc.   us, uh... way 2 full to eat ne fud there, but we had our fill of soju/maekju.   it got really late.   well, 'twas time to go!   so we trekked back to berkeley, via 101/92/880/980/24, making a bathroom stop in redwood city.   'twas late, n' i still had to move all my stuff upstairs.

sat, taekwondo belt tests.   i judged.   there weren't many coloured belts testing.   i got to give some commands to micah who was testing 4 his 1st keub.   i thought we'd give him a longer test, but master yoon made it much shorter than what kaela's group had to do.   he got all the 2nd thru 4th dan, n' we went down the line 1nce n' gave him a set of commands we chose.   i thought we'd go down the line 'least 2ice.   the dan tests were short.   dr. eric, jason buccholz, n' brian chi tested 4 1st dan, n' perry seto, chuck tweedy, dave currie, n' dave cummins tested 4 4th dan.   there was no black belt dinner afterwards cos dr. min rescheduled it 4 21 aug... nuts, my b.day.   well, a bunch'a us went to the durant fud ct to eat.   kaela n' i got fud (mool naengmyuhn / kalgooksu) from ramen house, where we ran into alex n' her bf jasper.   the group sat 2gether n' ate.   then kaela n' i went home, n' she cut my hair.   then we went to darlene n' deanna's 4 a party, tho' we stopped by albany n' safeway 1st.   sun, we helped phil pack up n' move out of his apt.   the 3 of us ate @ barney's on solano.   in the evening we met w/ fahad n' vince.   fahad, his gf wendy, vince, wendy's sis aimee, her bf chris, fahad's bro fawaz, n' his 2 friends from ucsf dental skool were eating @ kabana.   phil, kaela, n' i were still sorta full from lunch, n' we got there 2 late to eat w/ them.   the group went to au coquelet 4 drinks n' dessert n' snacks.   wow, fahad n' vince...   we caught up on everything n' reminisced, i guess.   crazy life.

mon, kaela's b.day!   a bunch'a us took her out to dinner @ yoshi's.   owen n' i had always considered yoshi's a li'l overrated, but it isn't 2 bad of a japanese restaurant.   the sushi's pretty good, 'least the 1s we ordered that nite.   they have interesting midori cocktails, such as midori colada, daquiri, margarita, etc.   owen n' romy, andy, brandie, josh, joon, n' linda came to celebrate.   kaela opened her presents, n' we had a bunch'a desserts.   'twas a fun time.

last nite, kaela n' i had a good open werkout on the mat, then we went to non.party safeway, so i could buy lottery tix n' fixins to make chicken cacciatore.   toby came over.   i cooked it differently than i usually do.   i used 3 pots instead of 2.   i was even tempted to use 4 pans, if i could'a.   i wanted to make it nice 4 kaela.   i cooked the chicken, onions, n' mushrooms in 1 pot, n' i cooked the tomatoes in 'nother, then i had the noodles boiling in a 3rd.   it tured out pretty well.   if i could'a; i would'a steamed the zucchini n' squash, insted of cookin' them w/ the chicken, altho' this method give the veggies the flavour from the chicken marinade/seasonings.   i didn't have red pepper cos i left it @ kaela's.   we ate so late cos cooking took so long.   toby gave me 2 crocodile shirts from hk, hip stuff.   i tried to get him to talk more 'bout his trip, but he didn't have a whole lot to say.   i can't wait to c pics.

@ this moment, kaela n' i r the same age in american yrs.   funny.   i wish we could go to great america 1nce this summer, but summer's almost over.   time flies.   i'll be 25.   *sigh*   time to think in 0.25 life crisis mode 'gain.   life's 2 short to be doing stuff u don't want to be doing.   it'd be nice to be raking in tons of ca$h, right?   n' it'd be nice to play all day.   hrm...   battling traffic sucks.   dealing w/ bureaucracy sucks.   paying bills sucks.   i went to the dentist yesterday, i 4got to mention.   i had 2 teeth treated w/ sealant.   i don't have cavities, but i have li'l, li'l holes that needed to be sealed.   the dentist drills into the tooth w/o ne anesthetic in that case.   crazy, huh?   i didn't know what he was gonna do, he just sorta started.   i want to take care of my teeth.   i have a cleaning appt next month.   they want me to buy some stoopid "nightguard" contraption cos they think i grind my teeth in my sleep.   i don't wana buy it.   i wouldn't wear it.   i think i should stop chewing ice.   i should wear my retainer.   *sigh*   well, i have a baby pigeons on my balcony n' i a beautiful gurlfriend (gf).

(berkeley, ca)   the most beautiful gurl in the world turns 24 2day!   everbody's favourite on.line journalist, kaela kang, the sexiest female on the web, was born this day in 1976 in seoul, so. korea.   festivities will happen 2nite.   rumour has it that the celebration will not happen newhere like denny's, ihop, or carrows.   it's a nice sunny day in the bay area; no rain in sight.   kaela's bf beno hwang remains passionately in love w/ her.   u can be sure we'll keep u posted on what happens 2nite.

saengil chookhahae!

yeh, i'm down w/ pro.e; u know it!   finished.   well, i leave san jo 2nite.   jerome, joon, phil, n' josh r supposed to come down from b.town 2 day...   i hope brandie comes down 2, but i dunno.   2morrow's promotionals.   crazy, a whole summer gone.   well, hrm...   we've done a lot of bumming 'round in san jo.   i tried to show kaela this n' that.   we've enjoyed the nice, warm weather down here.   we've had enuf of that san francisco fog n' the general cold weather of berkeley, right?   oh well, 2nite we go back.   i got to talk to a lott'a old friends on the fon last nite: fahad, vince, n' phil...   fahad's in town.   we'll hang out on sun evening.   it's good to catch up w/ old friends.   now is a good time to make old friends.   well, the beuatiful kaela kang n' i r @ ideal w/ my sister cos grace (my sister) is buying a new nokia 5180.   man, the verizon plans r pretty good right now!   no doubt!   dang, maybe i should desert my unlimited nites n' weekends plan 4 1 of these new plans!   it'd be sad to lose that unlimited nites n' weekend plan tho'...   look: 250 netime + 1000 off peak + 1000 mobile to mobile 4 just $35!   n' no roaming in that huge service area...   crazy...   it'd be much better 4 trips to tahoe n' socal.   what a dilemma.   i'd like to buy a big, big scsi hard drive n' a scsi cdrom reader, n' a nice soundcard.   silicon valley goods.   i'm hungry, but i've been eating so much lately.   i ate sushi @ sushi lovers w/ my cowerker chris n' our classmate pon.   next week, back in berkeley n' corte madera.

so i'm in san jo 4 pro.e training.   pro.e is a 3d mechanical cad program.   i guess that's how i'd describe it.   it's much better than autocad 4 mechanical engineering stuff; that's 4 sure.   neway, i'm here all week, n' the beautiful kaela kang came down w/ me, n' we're staying @ my mom's place.   a full house: my mom, grace n' steve, kaela n' me.   it's nice to be in san jo.   it's nice to reminisce.   geez, it's weird tho'; this transplatation from urban wasteland to technological cosmosuburbia.   life's different here; palm trees.   silicon valley... got all these 3com n' cisco folk everywhere.   well, it feels really good to be in this cad class.   i like it.   i miss skool n' the feeling of accomplishment after applying something u just learned, after solving a problem.

so benomix3 is pretty much done.   i have a ruff draft burned.   now i just have to split it into tracks, edit a li'l, make a cover, n' burn a whole bunch of copies.   reserve ur copy 2day.   i'd appreciate ne donations of blank discs n' cases.   i was surprised @ how well some much of the mix came out.   it's a much better mix than benomix2.   n' it's crazy how i mixed it all in 1 day!   phew...   well, it took much, much, much sweat n' tears...   i mean, even tho' it was "recorded" in 1 day, much time n' e4ort went into the remix process 4 each individual track/song/whatever.   *sigh*   well, i hope u like it when u hear it.

so we'll be here until fri.   hopefully some taekwondo p.crew folk'll be down here on fri evening.   sat's promotional tests, so we gotta be back up in b.town by sat morn.   basically, we'll leave fri nite.   well, i got a few days to show kaela the best of san jo.   i wish i could show her more, but i have my classes all day.

american pie is a classic piece of american teen cinema.   i was just thinking of that, while on the toilet, thinking of that laxative scene.   sixteen candles is the most well.known of the 80s john hughes movies, right?   i'd think so.   2day is fri.   friday is a good movie.   friday:black youth culture::american pie:white youth culture.   n' asian kids watch gen x cops n' korean musik videos.   ha ha ha.   ok, so what piece of pop media influences all ethnicities of american youths?   eh, i dunno... this wasn't supposed to my topic 4 2day or nething.   so! how r u 2day?   please feel free to answer that question.   it's fri, as i sed.   i went to lunch w/ the beautiful kaela kang @ max's of marin, had a huge, huge, huge turkey, roast beef, red pepper, avocado sandwich... combo sandwich #6.   kaela had a sweet n' sour spinach salad.   yummy fud... 2 much of it.   yah, the hostess... that fat, old woman... she was not nice to us, so we should get her fired when we can.   but the waiter n' the busboy were good guys, so i didn't stiff them on the tip or nething.   2 much fud lately!   last nite, after practice, we went to daruma, (jerome, josh, kaela, n' me).   josh, jerome, n' i all had those bento specials, but only i finished everything.   dwaeji beno.   not good.   also, it'd be nice to eat in more often, eat out less; not a bad idea.   neway, this lunch @ max's really hit the spot tho'.   i felt like having huge sandwiches stuffed w/ lots'a dead animal.   avocado's fattening.

weekend, here i come.   it'd be nice to relax.   i've been so sleepy lately.   is it cos i drank so much coffee @ my bizness mtg on wed?   i dunno; can a caffeine crash last this long?   i usually avoid caffeine; altho' i sometimes drink diet coke, just 4 the taste of it.   weekend, as i was saying...   i'm not going to the korean martial arts summer camp.   oh well.   will i get ne exercise?   benomix3 is due this weekend!   this is important!   i must finish benomix3 this weekend.   san jo next week.   lethargy n' sluggishness, a temporary slight lack of motivation, n' a desire to sleep.   whadda u wanna do?   i dunno; whadda u wanna do?   sparkle n' shine, n' show the whole world i'm young n' alive.   i wanna bask in warm sun.   i wanna eat basque fud sometime.   i wanna feel free.   freedom!!! as they say in braveheart.   yet freedom, oh freedom, that's jes' some ppl talkin'...   i drank 1 of those snapple elements drinks on my way to werk.   oh, yah... i've had them b4; sobe's better by far.   every sobe has 100% rda of vitamin c in each serving, i believe.   packaging n' marketing.   sobe has the whole cute lizard theme.   i grow old, i grow old, i shall wear the bottoms of my chungbaji rolled.   it's been a while since i read that poem...   u know, it's on my website somewhere.   oh, here: "the love song of j. alfred prufrock"   u know, it's still my favourite poem.   "cheer up sleepy jean.   oh what can it mean to a daydream believer and a homecoming queen."   i heard that monkees song thru the wall of my office.   wouldn't it've been kewl to be in the monkees back when they were da bomb?   they actually played their own instruments, right?   i think so.   i'd like to eat pineapple.   let's all be vegetarians 4 a while.   i want sunshine.   c'mon everybody, it's fri nite.

an h.t.b. @ high tech burrito is a burrito w/ 2 meats, but i only picked chicken, so did i get 2ce as much meat as if i had a normal chicken burrito?   i dunno, but i wasn't reading the menu very closely.   i enjoyed having guacamole in my burrito.   yum, yum.   tastyfat.   i was @ high tech burrito in mill valley w/ my cowerkers chris n' eric.   nuclear salsa is not that spicy!   i think they used to have thermonuclear or something, something spicier.

so tues nite, 01 aug, we went to practice.   kevin yang led werkout.   we met master mijung choi.   i 'membered her from yong.in; she's really good @ poomsae n' showed all the taegeuk 4 us.   after practice, some of us took her to koko house.   she's been staying @ brandie n' kaela's.   kaela always tries to get away w/ saying she doesn't speak korean well, but she can... n' sung won't let her get away w/ that.   u know... sung is always a nice guy; he's always chipping in so much when we go out...   sung n' andy... they both do that.   nice guys.

wed, i went down to san jo 4 a bizness mtg all day.   i came back up n' went to kaela's.   beautiful kaela, hotstuff, u know.   i thought p crew was gonna have a nite out, but that sorta got messed up.   neway, i took kaela to safeway n' got some ingredients 4 us to make jjajangmyuhn @ her place.   so we ate n' watched the boob tube.   that's what ppl call the telly 'round here, right?

i'm not going to the korean martial arts summer camp this yr.   i feel bad that i can't go.   most of our crew isn't going.   owen is.   i can't go cos i gotta do pro.e training in san jo.   also, sun is phil's going away picnic, n' i gotta werk on benomix3 this weekend.   2 much stuff.

kaela cooks well.   i like.   i want to cook more 4 her.   i'll try, but i haven't been so much the cook these past yr or so.   i'll try to get back into it.   i used to cook so often.   i'll make lamb mousaka 'gain sometime. it was a 4 hr process last time, so i gotta do it on a weekend, i guess.   actually, that's more of a winter dish neway.   when i cook, i try to get good ingredients... that makes the difference...   buying the better brand, fresher vegetables, fresh herbs, etc...   it helps.   but i wasn't always making complicated dishes back in those days.   i also have a bunch of really bachelor dishes i wouldn't mind exposing kaela to...   really functional fuds like sunny side up eggs w/ extra whites w/ gochujang on rice... plain protein n' carbo.   or plain pan.grilled chicken breast w/ gochujang... hrm... 'bout the same... which came 1st the chicken or the egg?   or chicken n' egg in oyako donburi...   or just plain bokchoy or chinese broccoli w/ oyster sauce...   some nites i ate totally vegetarian.   hrm... some bachelorfud nites were just pasta n' sauce tho'...   i prefer those rotary, pinwheel pasta things... not curly, spirals corkskrews, altho' those r good 2... but those other 1s.   yah, those! those r tasty!   chicken cacciatore.   chicken curry.   beef stew, clam chowder, chicken noodle soup... oh! that's what i made 4 kaela that used bay leaves!   we were wondering last nite, why she had my bay leaves... ah, that's it.   *sigh* well, yah... i wanna get back into the cooking mode.   *sigh*   'member when i was a student, n' cooking was a great way to procrastinate?

how r u?   i had a roadrunner burrito 4 lunch.   i noticed a lott'a ppl there wanted to really customise their orders: "no beans, no cheese, n' just a li'l bit of rice," etc.   some ppl really go to extremes.   n' then i wondered, "why do these ppl even bother coming here?   why don't they eat @ home n' cook 4 themselves?"   i figured that part of coming to a restaurant establishment is to experience specific recipes that some chef designed 4 ppl to eat.   it cms like these ppl figure it's like walking into their home kitchen n' having servants there to prepare ur fud.   but then i thought 'bout something: if i ordered the side of rice n' the side of beans, n' then add on chicken or fish n'guacamole, i could have a pretty kewl meal...   n' actually, it might be a li'l cheaper.   hrm... weird, but i dunno if i wanna do that.

yah, so last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' jeanna totally moved out.   we moved their stuff out.   while the freshly cleaned bathroom floor was drying, kaela n' i didn't wanna use it, but we had to go, so we walked out to warren hall.   it was locked, but we got to c lots'a robins on the lawn hunting 4 worms.   i really think they're cute.   i wish i could have this screensaver w/ cartoon robins on a lawn hunting 4 worms. it's a very good idea.   will some1 please make it n' give me a copy?   what happened to after dark?   after we dropped some stuff off @ the new place, kaela n' i went to jeanna's bf's place to eat some pilipino fud he made.   we actually ate @ his friends' apt downstairs.   it was a bunch'a guys n' jeanna n' kaela.   yah, a fun bunch'a guys.   they sorta reminded me of nelson's ol' crew down @ ucsd or the foothill bunch w/ eric, ed, vince, stephan, etc...   u know the bunch.   i guess they're all dormfriends.   *sigh*   'member the ol' ucsd crew that nelson introduced me to?   i wonder how they're doing.   'member when they lived in that big house in mira mesa?   u know, i was really impressed w/ that guy... what was his name?   john something something... they called him johnboy cos he was this totally countryish, white boy.   he drove a very big, diesel pick.up.   i think i heard he did some really country western things now n' then.   but he lived w/ this house full of asian asian guys, n' they all genuinely got along, as far as i could c.   that was kewl.   yah, 'member how every1 in that household had some special vehicle?   every1 drove: 1) a big suv or truck, 2) a souped up sports car / "rice rocket," 3) a motorcycle, or 4) ne combination of the 3.   'member that?   n' they'd race going everywhere!   i 'member john park was pretty crazy w/ his li'l mr2.   it was really low, n' it looked like an rc car, zooming 'round.   n' nick had nos in his mustang...   ha, i 'member when i 1st hung out w/ them was when i 1st got used to ppl going sideways over speed bumps.   *sigh* man, that was a long time 'go now...   *sigh*

hrm...   i also wanted to talk 'bout plastic bags.   u 'member the plastic bag in the wind scene in american beauty?   ah, somtimes plastic bags really cm like animate objects, huh?   1 nite, driving back from kaela n' brandie's, i saw a plastic bag in the road n' 1st thought it was a cat, then i thought 'twas a stuffed animal, n' finally i realised 'twas just a bag.   that reminded me of that le petit prince thing w/ the hat v. the snake who ate a ... a something or other...   all apologies to st. exuperie.   was it an elephant? a person? a camel? i 4get.   well, yesterday, while driving home from sf thru soma, i saw a dancing plastic bag in the breeze.   i didn't want to hit it.   it's like running over an animal.   well, i ended up running into it.   n' i didn't c it escape from behind, so i knew it was caught in my grill or something.   later i saw 'twas caught in my wheel well, in the spring or something.   @ a red light, i slightly opened my door, reached out, n' grabbed the bag.   i let it ride w/ me back to berkeley.   then i discarded it.   funny.   it cmed so much like a somewhat conscious being, like a silly animal, that wanted to play, so it hitched a ride on my car.   weird, huh?

2day is steve's b.day.   happy b.day steve!   i dunno if he can read my journal now that he's in san jo, but maybe he'll 'least c this someday.

can u believe july is over.   where is summer going?   summer 2000.   it'll be august.   joon'll be back, right?   yesterday, i woke up early.   toby woke me up cos it was the last opportunity 4 toby, phil, i to be 2gether... last chance 4 a while.   u know, phil's going off to oregon 4 law skool.   he leaves 12 aug.   toby, yesterday, left 4 a trip to china w/ his family.   he'll come back 15 aug.   so yesterday was the last chance 4 the 3 of us to stand out in the cold, morning, berkeley air in front of phil's house, next to toby's 1969 vw bug.   toby was giving stuff to phil, the grades 4 their summer skool, upward bound, hs math class.   they both taught @ that program @ usf this summer.   the grades r due this fri, but since toby's in china, he gave his set of grades to phil to turn in 4 him.   so yah... toby woke me up, picked me up from my apt, n' we went to phil's.   altho' kaela told me to bring a camera, i 4got cos i was so sleepy.   phil took 1 pic of toby n' me w/ toby's bug.   *sigh*   then we left phil's.   i went back to toby's place w/ him.   his family was bizzy gettin' ready.   'twas kewl to c his mom since she's a really friendly person.   she fed us lasagne n' mangos.   betty showed up to drive them to sfo in her silver civic.   mrs. jaw knows i'm going out w/ kaela, but she hasn't met kaela yet.   well, i helped them load up the civic, then i walked home.

ah... kaela's move.   ha ha.   it's so fun to c how much kaela's a packrat just like me.   she's got a lotta stuff.   on sat nite, roland n' jerome helped us move stuff.   then we plus brandie went to 168.   kaela took us to dinner.   nice gurl.   afterwards, we went back to kaela n' brandie's n' watched tv.   well, we resumed the move on sun afternoon, me n' kaela.   then we picked up phil to help, n' i went to the rsf to help dr. eric johnson, jason bucchols, n' brian chi w/ their board breaks 4 their 1st dan tests.   phil n' kaela packed up stuff.   then i came back, n' we ate @ joshuya.   lots'a good sushi, but there were these really annoying sorority gurls next to us!   they kept arguing 'bout who drank how many sapporo, n' they couldn't figure out the bill amongst them; so they kept going n' going.   neway, we had a good dinner.   then we went back to moving stuff.   we finished late.   there were lots'a slugs n' snails out @ nite.   san jo has lots'a slugs n' snails.   the santa cruz mtns have banana slugs.   thruout the evening, me n' phil talked 'lot.   it's so crazy to think how we've known each other quite a while, how we've been good friends 4 quite a while.   *sigh*   so many shared memories...   i'm very sad to c him leave berkeley, but i guess that's what ppl sometimes do.   i'm glad i've gotten in touch w/ a coupl'a old friends recently: fahad n' vko.

ok, i rattled off my list of what i did, etc.   kaela's finishing up the move 2day.   i hope it's going ok.   kaela's my gf.   i am a lucky guy, i know.   i won't take that 4granted.

so 2day's sat, n' i'm doing all sorts of chores.   i did 3 loads of laundry!   i polished 2 pairs of shoes.   i cleaned out my forester's trunk.   i took out all the recyclable papers that were clogging up our hallway, i burned a bunch of mp3s to cdrom n' audio cd.   i guess i've been trying to tidy up my diskspace on my home 'puter 2 then...   as always, my home 'puter is so disorganised, yet my werk 'puter's so organised.   quite a difference!   well, the beautiful kaela kang is packing up all her stuff into boxes etc.   i'll be helping her move stuff to albany soon.   jerome n' roland'll help, i think.   hopefully others'll join us.   i'll help jeanna move stuff to her new 'partment 2.   i just gotta take care of this journal entry n' some e.mails.   i'm sorta hungry.   i'm listening to my freshly burned uhmjunghwa best cd.   so i'm gonna deejay willie wang n' shirley liang's wedding on 19 aug.   wow, i haven't djed a wedding in a while, over a yr.   *sigh*   i'm glad i've been getting into more musik stuff lately, i mean, w/ spending time on benomix3 n' getting all these mp3s etc.   i'm realising how much musik n' the dj life really means to me.   i really want to spend more time on this stuff.

last nite, a few of us hung out @ brandie's place.   we ate junk fud: chips n' salsa, tater tots, hot wings, n' had boone's, sapporo, n' peppermint schnapps w/ chocomilk.   we watched american pie.   of course it wasn't ne1's 1st time, but we just wanted a good laff.   we also rented jackie chan's gorgeous, but we were 2 tired to watch it.   tater tots r good!   but i sure feel like i need a werkout after participating in such bad dietary activities.   *sigh*

i want to get my car washed this weekend.   2morrow i think i'll go to costco to pick up those pics i dropped off yesterday.   uh...   man, i'm scaring myself!   why do i sound so domesticated all the sudden?!   boy, oh boy...   why?   but no!   i'm still hip!   i... uh... i do "stuff."   plenty of active fun stuff 4 young ppl, right?   right?!   *sigh*   well, i'll help dr. eric johnson, jason buchols, n' brian chi choreograph their 1st dan black belt test board breaks 2morrow.   i hope i can help them think of creative, kewl board breaks.   some ppl in the past have asked me to help them w/ this...   well, demo n' test breaks can be really diff tho'.

u do know i'll be in san jo 7-11 aug 4 cad software training, right?   we'll c if i get 'round to updating my journal during that week.   kaela's gonna stay in san jo w/ me @ my mom's place.   i guess grace n' steve r living there right now.   last nite, when jerome drove us to blockbuster, non.party albany safeway, n' brandie's n' back, he was playing a yuki hsu cd w/ 2 covers of fin.k.l. songs n' duets w/ yoo seungjoon n' t.e.a.m.   a kewl cd. &nbsdp; well, i'd better finish benomix3 b4 i leave to san jo!   i could have ken n' chas help me mass produce them 'gain.   but i gotta get all the material done b4 i go to san jo.   ok?   so i've set a due date or deadline of sorts.

yesterday, i werked 0.5 day n' went to the dentist in the afternoon.   i tried to get back to berkeley asap to take the beautiful kaela kang to lunch cos she starved 4 a while 4 her bloodwerk thingy.   i took her to lunch @ venezia.   i had never been to venezia b4.   it's decorated like my old french classroom at leland, 'cept it's italian stuff instead of french stuff, n' it's a li'l nicer, altho' i gotta say the french classroom was pretty kewl, pretty well done...   if u ever have a chance, u should take a peek into that classroom, when u'r cruisin' by my hs to pick up on hs chickies... ha ha.   or u should 'least look @ my old yrbooks to c what the room looked like.   well, i was so stressed thru.out that lunch... stoopid job stress.   n' i was worried 'bout getting to my dental appt on time.   job stress is no good.   i've been much bizzier @ werk, as u know...   it's fri 2day.   yes, it's a very tgif friday.   kaela's gonna be volunteering 2nite, so what am i gonna do to keep entertained???   last time i was in a situation like this, joon n' josh went w/ me to brother's barbecue.   hrm...   what to do?

well, i do need to do lots'a musik stuff.   i have a bunch'a mp3s...   yah, 1s jerome prob'ly wants, such as a japanese ses remix cd.   i gotta xfer stuff from zip disk to hard drive, then from hard drive to cd.rom, as .mp3 files and as audio cds.   i want both; i'd like to have a nice archive.   i finally got the .mp3 of the park hyeykyung album...   i really liked the song "gobaek" as soon as i heard it @ koko house a long time 'go.   i asked kay who it was, but she didn't know.   then chals found out 4 me, n' we heard it 'gain @ resistance.   i don't get to hear new non.dance korean musik much, as i was telling kaela last nite.   benomix3!   when? huh? whuh?   i got some fresh n' funky tracks (imho) laid down, but i'm not even gonna tell u yet 'bout them.   very inside 411 still.

2morrow, we'll help kaela move to albany.   my friend wants us to go to a rave on sat nite.   ok, i'll go, i guess.   'course it might be 2 late to buy tix now.   he has always wanted us to go to a rave, but i get sorta nervous cos the word "rave" cms like such a big deal cos it's something new to me.   he should just say, "let's go to a party."   i guess it's weird that i haven't ever been to a rave since i was always deejaying rave musik back in hs w/ nelson n' ken; n' even back then, we kept saying we wanted to go to a rave...   then the whole idea turned very unappealing to me 4 a while.   neway, sounds like the tix might be sold out, so who knows what'll happen sat nite.

last nite, kaela n' i went to daruma, after practice, w/ romy n' owen.   they're a couple, u know.   i've been eating 2 much lately.   owen always makes me feel so fat.   this guy's a li'l taller than me, n' he's 140#.   crazy.   he wants to be a bantam weight @ this yr's natl collegiates.   i've cn this guy fluctuate weight so much.   i've known him 4 a long time, longer than i've known ne other taekwondo person, i guess.

weekend.   *sigh* it's really tgif.   when u'r as pmsed as i've been, weekend sounds like such an oasis.   i know some ppl r really sad or disappointed that i haven't been writing back, but i've really been bizzy @ werk, so i haven't had ne time to waste newhere...   i'm glad to find time to write this journal entry.   i hope u'r reading it, n' u'r not thinking, "oh, beno has time to write a journal entry, but he doesn't have time 4 me!"   instead i hope u consider this sort'f a letter to u, altho' i definitely understand it's no substitution 4 the real thing, baby.   ain't nuthin' like the real thing.   i want to get a car wash.   if i lived in san jo, i'd wash my own car, but there's no space in berkeley, unless i go to solar car wash.   maybe someday...   but i'll go to touchless or somewhere like that this time.   i used priceline.com to buy gas a while 'go.   i have priceline.com stock.   a long time 'go, i bought it on a whim.   then it skyrocketed!   i was happy... but happy n' stoopid.   i should'a sold it.   that stock market, i tell ya...   don'tcha just hate it?   piece'a junk!   makes me wanna run away to the mtns n' live in a log cabin.   who needs money?!   money is the root of all evil.   if u have lots'a money, u can eat fancy fud.   if u eat fancy fud all the time u'll get fat!   if u don't got much money, u'll eat bk n' mc yuk yuk n' j.box every day.   if u eat bk/mcyukyuk/j.box every day, u'll get fat.   why not just pull some weeds from ur garden?   pick some shrooms from ur lawn.   grown ur own fud n' be green!   then u can be healthy, n' u can feel like u'r living a simple life.   howzabout we go fishing someday?   then we can eat the fish we catch.   hrm... really, what do i want from life these days?   do i really wanna go fishing?   according to the cambridge intl dictionary, proletariat = "the class of people who do unskilled jobs in industry and own little or no property."   hrm... do u wanna be proletariat?   or wouldju rather be royalty?   isn't it fun to live life to it's fullest while u'r young? to be extravagant, wasteful, n' reckless?   to buy priceline.com stock?   'member my asking if we'll ever make it to that other life? the life w/ the spouse, kids, n' doggy?   it will happen, won't it?   what else could happen?   i wish i could map out my future: all my possible paths in life n' where they'd lead.   in a choose-ur-own-adventure book, u can always flip back or start over.   in life, u can't really do that so well.   no, i wasn't saying nething deep, just the obvious; yes, i know.   neway, why so pessimistic?   "let's get happy."   i wanna go to costco n' drop off some film.

[later]   i didn't mention that kaela came to visit me @ werk, huh?   after her 0.5 day of werk @ dhs n' b4 going to sfgh, she came to have lunch w/ me in corte madera.   i took her to fresh choice in cm town centre.   we both like that place, so it's kewl when she comes, n' we go there cos i know my cowerkers don't like that place, so i'll never go w/ them.   speaking of cowerkers, alfred bought us a sony mavica camera 2day.   those r kewl!   don'tchu wish we all had mavicas?

yesterday evening, i skipped practice.   i picked up the beuatiful kaela kang n' took her to dinner @ café de la paz.   yum yum.   llapingacho or whatever it's called...   potato cake w/ fried plaintains.   she had paella n' i had a salmon salad.   yum yum fud.   then i helped her move stuff to albany after we watched the simpsons.

avaron was fun on fri nite.   werk was hard on fri.   it's been a long week @ werk.   the commute sucked, n' i had to go into sf 2ice!   it took me 2 hrs to get home from sf in the afternoon.   my mind was sorta scattered as i was thinking 'bout how i'm to deejay shirley n' willie's wedding, n' i missed my right turn @ hyde cos i would'a had to cut off a muni bus to make the turn.   neway, avaron was fun.   kaela had a sexy outfit n' butterfly barrettes.   they played a lotta songs that were kind'a not.so.new, classic korean gayo, like "kkunddari shabara" by clon, "haengbok" from h.o.t., n' "d.o.c. wa chumul" from dj doc.   i dunno why i'm listing off these songs, but it was just so funny 4 me n' josh cos "kkungddari shabara" was the hot song the 1st time we went clubbing @ a korean club way, way back, at cairo.   who was there?   laura, brandie, catherine ahn, josh, jerome, jason (jerome's bro), alex, the beautiful kaela kang, n' beno.   some of us went to j.town denny's afterwards.   i purposely left my fon in the car while @ avaron n' denny's.   man... it sucked that deanna, darlene, n' leo got to avaron 2 late n' couldn't get in!

sat: kaela wanted pho, so i took her to pho king (it should be 1 wurd.) out on int'l blvd in oaktown.   then we shopped 'round oakland chinatown.   kaela wanted a calvin sticker 4 her car.   we got that.   then we stopped by sweetheart to get drinks.   i like sweetheart.   oh, when we went to the oakland asian cultural center to use their restrooms, we saw this kewl exhibit 'bout 70s asian.american pop musik.   that was kewl to c all that long, feathered hair on these pioneers of asian.american culture, u know?   they had lots'a pics, articles, records, displays, etc.   wow, imagine living thru all that.   uhm, i guess those were the days when perry seto n' dr. frank choy were our age, huh?   i've heard of hiroshima, some new age.ish jazz group or something.   i think my dad talked 'bout them or something...   maybe we heard a show 'bout them on kqed radio or something.   neway, kaela n' i saw all that, n' i showed kaela the asian library downstairs.

yes, asian american culture: the asian american community in nor cal... i'm proud to say that it is a li'l more unified in nor cal than in other parts of cali or the country.   i mean, it's sad that other places can't be as unified.   u know what i mean, right?   i'm glad that there's more pan.ethnic asian.american unity in nor cal.   the chinks, gooks, nips, flips, n' 'vc's get along.   ha ha.  but really... it's a good thing.

k, after chinatown, we stopped by party safeway to get some sodas n' ice, then we were off to jeff's place 4 a big barbecue.   jeff bought a george 4man outdoor grill.   we had steaks n' sausage.   there was some lemon.seasoned chicken that krishlle marinated, but we didn't get to try it.   i'm sure 'twas good.   we got to c dave!!!   wow.   we never c dave.   he werks a lot.   *sigh*   it's 2 bad...   oh well; his video game comes out this christmas.

so 2day's sun, n' we r very lazy!   kaela fried some hobak.   we ate chwipo.   she's gonna make some bibim naengmyuhn soon.   this past weekend/week has been tons of fud n' no werkout.   nuts.   man, i don't wanna get fat.   *sigh*

why is this journal entry so titled?   they played that old song @ avaron.   it's hip 'gain.   i keep telling these youngsters how rave musik is nuthin' new.   it really isn't.   'member the days of "sesam-e's treet" n' alpha team's "speed racer" song?   messiah's "temple of dreams"...   ah, those were the days... of course.   oh hey!   i played dance dance revolution @ jefflyn's!   'twas krishelle's game.   i didn't know it isn't sold in america...   i know kaela's friend sarah has it.   i've cn it elsewhere, but i didn't know it isn't sold in the us.   u know "bust-a-groove," right?   i 'member that sort'a game was popular in korea last summer, n' the arcade machines'd play "yuhruhm iyagi" n' "wae buleuh."   i tried a deejay game that was like bust.a.groove but the graphics mess me up, distract me.   here, i gotta say...   i really feel benomix3'll happen soon!

semi.anniversary 4 kaela n' beno.   2day.   6 monthversary.   the beautiful kaela kang, she's my favourite gurl in the whole wide world! the only 1 4 me.   she came to visit me @ werk last nite cos i had to stay late to finish stuff 4 a mtg this morning.   she looked very pretty.   she made me very happy.   i'm very happy that kaela's w/ me.   i hope she knows.

yesterday, i had to move from my temporary cubicle to 'nother.   that took most of the day.   we're putting new carpet in our office, so the engineering guys took over the chemistry offices next door.   we set up new cubes; lots'a physical labour.   i went to lunch @ roadrunner burrito in larkspur landing w/ the new engineer chris.   by the end of the afternoon, i knew i'd be staying late to get stuff done 4 a mtg the next morn.   kaela came to visit me!   i took her to dinner @ bongkot thai express in san rafael.   it was just a place we saw while driving thru san rafael.   we were in the mood 4 thai.   the restaurant has pages from our daily bread in the plastic frame on each table.   i 'member our daily bread n' campus journal, or cj.   u know them?   they're li'l booklets, daily devotional readings, quiet time (qt) guides, sorta.   my church used to give them out, n' iv used to have 'cj's.   neway, 'twas a good dinner.   then i went back to finish werk.   i went to sleep early cos'v the mtg in the morn.

i never rattled off tues's events.   erm, went to taekwondo practice, 168ed w/ beautiful kaela.   i talked to owen a li'l after werkout.   so he's officially going out w/ romy.   lo mi da chanh.   is that how u romanise it? we ate that @ 168, 'long w/ oh ah jien n' tsua bing.   n' i gave kaela her 0.5 anniversary surprise, tix to c les mis 2nite.   i got them a long time 'go, special thanks to liane n' nate.   so 2nite! we go!   this should be fun.   i saw les mis... uhm... sr yr of hs?   i don't go to musikals much, as u know.   hrm... can i eat in the theatre?

on tues, i went to jiffy lube in mill valley during my lunch break to get an oil change.   i know it's bad to go to jiffy lube cos they're pretty expensive, but 'least i had a coupon, n' i figure it's convenient, n' sometimes they have good service.   i ate @ whole fuds while i waited 4 my car.   i walked 'round mill valley.   it's really pretty.   the sky is so... azure.   u c mt. tam n' a beautiful blue sky 'bove it.   i stopped in a pet store run by asian ppl who talk like ned flanders.   hi diddly ho there, neighboroonie!   u know what?   i notice that ppl in whole fuds r very fit, as in thin.   i only saw 1 obese man there, as i ate.   they say obesity is inverse to economic level, right?   hrm...   *sigh*   that's 2 bad, but yah... i know that healthy fud is more expensive than greasy fast fud.   chals has lots to say in defense of skinny ppl.   am i skinny?   i don't wanna be fat.   i would never mind being a li'l beefier as in beeg n' bahf, but i don't wanna be dwaeji.

am i vain?   *sigh*   i like fashion n' shopping.   (not gay!)   i try not to judge ppl's worth by their looks.   i appreciate beauty... as in the beautiful kaela kang.   yes, i care 'bout how i look.   do i think i look good?   *sigh* i dunno.   am i vain?   vanity is a sin.   what is vanity tho?   think 'bout how ppl dress so nice to church.   hrm...   but it's cos u'r s'pposed to wear ur best 4 god, huh?   i wish i could look my best all the time.   hrm... that sounds vain.   don'tchu think it's fun to shop?   it's also good to do laundry.   i like getting haircuts often; i wish toby'd cut my hair every week.   kaela wants to try to cut my hair.   i'll let her... when we have time.

so we're s'pposed to go to avaron 2morrow nite.   i wonder if ne1's made the reservation.   is ken gonna have a bbq this weekend?   i'd like to hike in mt. tam sometime soon, climb mt. tam.   i think s.mike's done it.   i wanna.   s.mike owes me money, $263.59.   doing something like climbing mt. tam'd make me feel like i'm really enjoying norcal life to its fullest.   i don't own a mtn bike.   i'm glad i 'least snowboard.   it's great to live in the bay area: u can go clubbing every other weekend n' go snowboarding every other weekend, when there's snow.

afterwards, i swung by chals n' kyung's place cos i wanted to get chals's pager from him to make sure ken reactivates it ok.   i stayed n' talked 4 a li'l, but i wanted to go pick up the beautiful kaela kang cos i hadn't cn her the whole day.   so i picked up kaela n' brought her over to chals n' kyung's, where they were eating chicken curry w/ beer.   we had a li'l.   yah, we watched tv, as u may have read in kaela's journal.   we watched sliding doors.   i watched that b4.   please refer to my 14 december, 1998 entry, entitled "mid-december life".   that was a long time 'go, huh?   that's kewl that kaela likes gwyneth paltrow 2.   in that 1998 entry, i didn't talk 'bout how, when i went to san jo w/ cal n' was in br, 1 of my 4mer taekwondo students was werking there n' recognised me n' started talking to me, but i called her by the wrong name...   actually, i did something worse than that; i thought she was this other gurl i knew from intervarsity (iv or ivcf) n' had almost a complete conversation w/ her thinking she was some1 else.   *sigh*   yah, sorta embarassing, but i think they look alike.   if u 'member, in some old journal entry (please c "easter 1998" from 12 april, 1998.), i mentioned that i thought i had pretty good facial recognition skills...   like, i thought i was able to 'member my students' names well.   upes.

kyung is a nice guy.   kyung is very good w/ computers.   kyung is a fun n' funny guy.   i think kyung kewl.   we saw sandy last nite.   we saw her pics from europe.   looks like she had fun.   even tho' i always like the idea of spending vacation time in asia cos i'm obviously so into asian culture stuff, i also do like the idea of visiting europe n' cing all the kewl architecture n' art, all that old stuff.   ha ha.   n' i wanna taste fud n' buy stoopid tourist souvenirs.

last nite i went to a potluck @ chals's n' kyung's.   it was a fun dinner n' drinks nite w/ a few of their friends.   the beautiful kaela kang cooked soondubu jjigae.   i made some simple curry chicken.   after werk, i took kaela to pusan plaza to get us some groceries.   we had tons o' fud.   'twas lots'a fun.   kyung's a really nice guy, n' he runs linux on his 'puter.   that's not sumpthin' most ppl do @ home, but i always thought linux was a good idea when i was using it in lab.

u know, i liked that apple dumpling @ cheesecake factory, the 1 i had down in old town pasadena.   i really like my beanie baby robin.   it fits in my hand.   it's life size.   maybe i'll talk more 'bout last weekend now.   it was fun, as i keep saying.   i drove my subaru down.   yah, i was the only guy w/ the women on the way down n' back up.   the other guys joined us down there.   competitors were: kaela, brandie, darlene, deanna, amy cassel, catherine ahn, romy, pamela, minnie, sophia, n' brooke.   erin was s'pposed to compete, but she didn't know she was signed up.   that sucks.   i guess laura n' i were team managers.   linda was the coach.   alex went on the trip 2.   leo, sam, chals, n' jerome drove down 2gether in a big, rented boat of a car.   mike sia, patrick liu, n' mark biel... however u spell his last name... came to watch n' cheer.   joon came to watch n' cheer.   it's fun to be in l.a.   we saw some of the more "ghetto" areas of l.a., i guess, being near usc n' downtown l.a.   still, i think 'twas kewl.   i wanna spend a li'l more time in l.a.   i know ppl wanna go to 6 flags magik mtns.   yah, we should go.   neway, on that l.a. trip 4 the iwotc, i felt like i was hanging w/ a sorority, all these women.   i enjoyed the fact that the men's bathrooms were emptier since 'twas a women's tournament.   la memorial stadium's men's bathrooms have those trough urinals.   i relished peeing while walking sideways, thus covering more distance.   fun stuff.   a guy can draw on the wall above the trough w/ his piss.   i tried to explain my joy to the women.   some gurls talked 'bout what they know of urinal ettiquette.   they talked 'bout how guys r s'pposed to stare @ a spot on the wall while peeing next to 'nother guy.   u sure?   hrm...   imagine instead if guys looked down n' talked to their organs instead.   n' imagine if they regularly gave their organs names like sally n' jane.   "hey, jane.   how come u'r so small 2day?   last week u were so big.   rn'tchu happy nemore?"   hrm... maybe it's all 2 much like chungking express.   i wanna c scary movie.   i felt so fat n' lazy on the trip cos i didn't compete or werkout or nething.   i think 'twas really kewl that kaela did the miss world taekwondo contest.   i think that's really admirable.

so i've been really bizzy lately, n' i haven't been able to write much in this journal, huh?   luckily the beautiful kaela kang wrote more details 'bout the socal trip n' the iwotc.   i also just looked @ her updated webpage.   i did take note of the updated "love of my life" foto page.   *sigh* the things she says makes me so happy.   i really hope she means them all cos wow... her wurds really make me happy.   i'll always like her baby pics, 'specially the "yummy fingers" pic.   it's so strange to look @ those pics n' think that that baby's kaela.

2day kaela came into my office, n' i took her to lunch @ playa azul, this mexican restaurant in san rafael.   it's not the most glamourous or glitzy or zazzy or freshmex place, but it's got a really authentic feel to it.   i'm here @ werk late, writing this journal entry, n' i'm really full.   last nite, kaela n' i went to the rsf to do butt gallery stuff.   afterwards, after talking to leo, linda, n' others, we went to daruma to eat n' watch simpsons.   it feels good to get @ least a minimum dose of exercise whenever u can.

didju know i moved my desk out of the nice office i had, into a cubicle?   i have much less privacy now, n' there's lots'a construction noise.   this is temporary.   there's lots'a changes to my company's corte madera office.   there's also lots'a new employees.   geez, my company's growing n' changing so much!   2day, right b4 kaela arrived, i talked to our software tester judy, who actually graduated from cal in 98 in ib.   she also took 5 yrs to graduate, so we were @ cal @ the same time.   weird.   yah, werk's a lot bizzier now.   i'm often driving btwn our corte madera n' sf offices.   lately, i've been able to find street parking in sf.   if i go late 'nuff in the afternoon, i can park on the street thruout my whole visit to sf w/o getting a ticket.   i also save my company $11 each time i do that... 4 what that's worth.   (what's it worth? exactly $11.   ha ha.)   erm...   i'm so full of refried beans, chips, tostada, etc.

well, i kinda wanna cut out of here.   i still feel like i owe u all my detailed account of the socal trip.   really, u can trust what kaela sed.   ha ha.   *sigh*   well, eventually, i'll try to talk 'bout nething important that happened.   it's sorta like how i didn't give ne big report after coming back from korea last yr, but in the end, if there was nething important, i mentioned it.   i still have yet to eat a krispy kreme doughnut, u know.   i ought to go get a dental checkup!

i know ppl don't like reading the same dumb journal entry over n' over.   i've been gone, n' my readership has fallen, yah, i know.   'course i shouldn't care.   there's no prize 4 me getting tons o' readers, huh?   i mean, it feels nice to know ppl care what happens to me, but there's no need to be the top rated, most visted site on the net, huh?   ppl don't really pay me...   well, i do have some so.called "sponsors," i guess.   neway...   i don't have much time to write in my journal right now, but i'll mention that i was in l.a. from 06 july thru 09 july.   i went w/ the cal taekwondo women's team to the 1st annual international women's open taekwondo championships @ usc.   it was fun.   the beautiful kaela kang went n' won 2 silver medals.   i was happy to help the team out.   i think the cal women did great.   i'll try to tell u more details 'bout the trip soon but not now.   please stick 'round.   e.mail me, if u can.

it's 243a on x4j2000.   03 july: 3 b.days; alex kim, eugene kim, n' sam lee.   the only b.day kid i saw 2day (meaning yesterday) was sam.   we celebrated sam's b.day.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i gave him a white, crew neck sweater from club monaco.   i hope he likes it n' wears it.   a bunch'a us went to the cheesecake factory atop sf union square macy's.   big fud, bad service, good cheesecake.   our 12 got split into 2 groups.   (roll call: sam lee, his roommate dave, their friend grace, their friend daniel, deanna, darlene, leo, jerome, chals, erin, kaela, n' me.)   i had some okay fish tacos there.   jerome had this huge burger.   kaela had some jambalaya pasta, but we 4got the leftovers.   our table didn't leave a very good tip, i gotta say; but the service was pretty bad.   after dinner, we went to the outskirts of j.town, where k.town exists in sf, besides on geary near clement...   i wonder if someday this k.town, which surrounds j.town, 'll totally engulf n' take over j.town.   neway, we went to this noraebang bar resistance, (pronounced: "rei.ji.su.tang.su," think french.)   we had a fun time.   sam sang, the rest of us didn't.   we heard some good singers, some bad singers.   neway, that's the 3rd of july.   hopefully 2day, on x4j2000, we'll bbq n' watch firewerks.   i'd also like to do my laundry n' werk on more benomix stuff.

so yah, my last journal entry got cut short.   i was writing from a 'puter @ our sf office during my lunchbreak, but then a cowerker came back, so i cut my lunchbreak short to do some werk stuff.   neway, hrm...   man!   it's hard to write 'bout what i wanted to write 'bout on fri cos now it's sun.   *sigh*   i was gonna write 'bout fight club.   'twas a kewl movie.   hrm...   i thought it'd be an cheesy action movie, but i was pleasantly surprised to find out 'twas a psychological, thinking movie.   kewl.   i wouldn't be so lame as to say, "dude, i can totally relate" even tho' going to taekwondo practice can be a similar experience, but 'course not always.   jerome cooked pasta 4 us, yes.

fri, the beautiful kaela kang n' i picked up phil, n' we dined @ kirin on solano.   we had a nice, delicious, big dinner.   stuffed!   then we drove brandie to sfo, where she departed to visit her friend masa in atlanta, ga.   then the 3 of us went to watch me, myself, n' irene @ the sony metreon.   geez, watching a movie there can be expensive, but 'least ur car doesn't get broken into.   that's always a good thing.   'twas a funny movie, somethin' like watching there's something about mary; lots'a slapstick humour, jim carrey.   sometimes these kinds of movies can turn into 1 man shows, tho'; comedians can be sorta egocentric.   mmm... so the movie was a late show, n' we were up late.

sat, kaela went to sparring practice.   i had 2 much of a stomach ache, so i stayed home n' werked on benomixes.   then we got fud from flying maguro on shattuck.   mmm... yummy fud!   it's a darumaish, korean.owned japanese restaurant ('course daruma is owned by korean.speaking chinese instead) that serves all sorts'a stuff n' lots'a sushi.   we bought a bunch'a fud n' brought it over to toby's, so we could hang w/ toby, n' i could get a haircut.   then we went to 400-600p werkout which was more like 500-700p open werkout 4 us.   'twas kewl.   chals was there!   he was doing ufc fighting w/ some other guys.   then a bunch'a us went to pojangmacha 4 dinner.

n' that bring us to 2day.   i'm gonna bring kaela horseback riding 2day.   this should be kewl.   i can't wait.   we'd better leave soon!   it's a li'l past noon now.   hey, i never talked 'bout the ko hokyung album.   well, i wish it had more rock like her 1st album, but it's more like... u know that group mono w/ "life in mono"?   the song from great expectations?   there's songs on her 2nd album that sound like that.   her 1st album sounded like taiwanese rock.   that was sort'a kewl.   'course it's not like she's actually playing the musik; she just sings.

last nite, we practiced taekwondo.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i were late, but so were chals, sam, n' erin.   whuh? chals?!   yah, chals came to practice!   he finished his final 4 his session a summer skool class yesterday.   he borrowed sam's dobok, belt, n' t.shirt n' he came to practice.   wow!   kewl, huh?   i was overjoyed to c chals.   i rarely c him these days.   we practiced lots'a poomsae.   after practice, kaela n' i went to jerome's to eat his corkscrew pasta w/ 5 brutha's summer vegetable sauce w/ n' watch the strike episode of simpsons n' fight club w/ him.   josh also came later. [note: this journal entry got precluded, so please go onto the next journal entry.]

yah, last nite the beautiful kaela kang cooked jangjorim.   i can't believe we ate all of it!   well, lots'a protein...   mmm... there's jangjorim in chinese/taiwanese cuisine, but i dunno whatchu'd call it.   u'd call the eggs lo nen / lu dan.   hrm...   haven't had neuromien in a while.   but then 'gain, since we just ate all that jangjorim last nite, it's not like i'll be rushing to 168 to order neuromien 2nite!   protein, protein, protein.   but then last nite, after dinner, i just watched tv 4 a long time n' went to sleep.   i saw 2 episodes of voyager!   can u believe that?!   protein n' tv overload.   u know what'd be better than watching tv?   studying 4 the gre.   that'd be dope!

the foyer of my office bldg that has the men's restroom n' a staircase has lots of those yucky, yellow spiders w/ the black eyes, the 1s u sometimes c in san jo.   it's got lots'a them.   i wish my boss'd write a letter to the manager:

dear manager:

is it really necessary to have all those icky, nasty, yucky, yellow spiders everywhere?   our employees do not like them much @ all.   perhaps it'd be best if u collected all those icky, nasty, yucky, yellow spiders n' made a nice stew w/ them n' a few vegetables.   maybe u could make a curry dish or something.   then serve it over jasmine rice.   i'm sure u'r family'd love it.   well, please take my idea into strong consideration.   if u don't remove those icky, nasty, yucky, yellow spiders, my company'll be 4ced to move to berkeley n' blow up ur bldg.

thank u very much 4 ur time n' cooperation.

best wishes,
the president of beno's company

that'd be a dope letter, huh?   well, that's what my boss ought'a do.   i do not like spiders, but i'm not afraid of them.   when i was a kid, yah, i was scared of spiders.   i already toldju 'bout this... n' how my dad'd kill spiders 4 me.

so whatzup?   last nite, i came home from werk, took a nice nap, went to practice, n' 168ed w/ joon, jerome, clarence, n' the beautiful kaela kang.   i had noah's bagels 4 lunch, u know.   i got a stoopid parking ticket 'gain in the rsf lot.   i hate getting uc parking tickets.   parking in berkeley sucks.   jerome sed he'll pay 4 part of the ticket buy paying 4 the cds he ordered 4 me from angelpop.   if ne1 else wants to pitch in 4 the tick, give jerome some cash.

my dad sent me some pics from steve's graduation.   i'll post some of these pics on my family page when i get the chance.   n' i'll also make a graduation 2000 page 4 my benofriends section.   u know, this isn't something that's easy 4 me to say, but i really do love my family.   i guess, i know they're all reading this, so they know i'm saying it... n' that's good cos it's hard 4 most of us to ever say something so bold in person.   i know my mom can be so brave.   there is a time 4 sincerity n' vulnerability, a time 4 sensitivity n' caring.   so i want my family to know that i really do care.

last nite, i asked kaela all sorts'a questions 'bout getting into grad skool.   u know, joon n' jerome had some funny stories 'bout getting into college.   i mean, it's funny to hear 'bout undergraduate college admissions these days.   i realise that uc skools have gotten so much harder to get into lately.   it boggles my mind tho' why some ppl get rejected from ucsd or ucla but get into berkeley.   weird.   must be their essays or something, huh?   so @ 168, we talked a li'l 'bout colleges, universities, n' different campuses.   i still believe that berkeley students r the hardest werking students in the country, if not the world.   even if such n' such private skool or wherever has some higher reputation in this field or that, i think berkeley students still werk the hardest.

this afternoon, kaela n' i had a bad fon conversation 'bout some li'l thing...   altho' i sounded so impatient n' pmsed, i really do love her.

so i haven't written in a very long time!   well, i was very stomachsick the past few days.   u know that i had been feeling sick since last tues nite.   i took yesterday off of werk n' rested.   i went to a doctor on sun.   it's a big long story, so let's start the whole weekend wrap.up thingy.   well, on fri, we went to watch chicken run @ amc 1000 van ness.   i had napped 4 most of the evening.   only a small but potent contingency of the p.crew went: joon, jerome, the beautiful kaela kang, n' me.   a 1 car party went out to c the 1045p showing of chicken run.   we parked the millenium forester, bought our student rate tix, n' dined on fine cuisine from taco bell.   wow, jerome bought a lot.   my angry stomach could only eat so much.   i couldn't barely get thru my chili cheese burrito n' enchirito.   enchritos r back, but they rn't as good as when i was a kid.   taco bell has changed their cheese, n' enchiritos just rn't the same w/o the old cheese, the way they used to put tons o' sauce over them along w/ onions n' olives, n' how they used to be served in a bowl w/ a spork.   now that's how an enchirto's s'pposed to be!   well, i'll tell ya...   altho' the enchirito disappointed me, chicken run sure didn't!   chicken run!!!!!   i sure liked that movie.   it's got chickens!   i was feeling really sick b4 chicken run, but chicken run n' a coupl'a tylenol from kaela helped me get over the feverish shivers i was having.

on sat, we slept in.   then kaela n' i took brandie w/ us to sf.   we stopped by union square so i could get the security tag removed off a white, short.sleeved kenneth cole shirt i bought last weekend n' so brandie n' i could buy clarence gifts: a small br shoulder bag n' a grey t.shirt.   i figured he'd use that kind of bag cos he usually carries a butt pack.   oh, then we made our way to clarence's b.day bbq @ his house in twin peaks.   lots'a good fud, but my furious stomach wouldn't let me fully partake of the feast.   i did eat tho'.   lots'a good fud.   we watched most of the mummy.   'member how disappointed i was w/ it back when it debuted?   well, i enjoyed it more this time cos i had no good expectations of it.   then we went back to berkeley n' got ready 4 the simpsons marathon.   kaela n' i grabbed a sleeping bag, pillow, n' blankey from her place, so we could make ourselves com4table @ darlene's temporary apt.   it was quite a party.   lots'a ppl came!   beside kaela n' me, 'course darlene, jerome, joon, leo, deanna, cyrus, jimmy wang, brandie, clarence, dr. eric johnson, his friend karen, josh, romy, amy cassel, her friend suzy...   all sorts'a ppl.   we watched the whole marathon, we had some take out ddukbokki n' tong dalk from koko house n' a bunch'a snack junk fud n' drinks.

k, then sun...   i took kaela to the sfgh 4 her volunteer job.   she convinced me to go c a doctor there since my stomach was being so mean to me.   it took a while, but i saw some doctors.   the 1st doctor thought it might be acute appendicitis.   then the 2nd doctor came.   he figured it was just a viral infection, but his attendee, his sr., told him to do some tests... ugh, rectal examination.   ugh...   ok, so that was done n' over w/...   then the attendee came in n' pushed on my stomach in different places just like the 2 young docs had done.   so the final diagnosis was that 'twas just a viral infection.   so i was told to just eat simple carbs, just rice n' pasta, n' drink lots'a water or broth.   that's all.   after i was discharged, i went to the potrero hill safeway, bought a big french bread loaf n' a bunch'a gatorades, n' i sat in the parking lot n' ate bread n' drank gatorade.   then i drove 'round sf, trying to get to somewhere like coit tower to just sit.   supermike called me.   i talked to him.   i went to coit tower.   we kept talking.   supermike talked to me 4 2.5 hrs!   wow!   then i picked kaela up.   i took her to the pusan plaza on our way home to berkeley.

so yah, yesterday, i called in sick.   i rested.   kaela took me to lunch @ café de la paz on shattuck.   i'd been there 2ice b4.   i just had soup n' cornbread, but it was really good.   so many of the menu items looked so good, but i couldn't eat them.   i rested most of the day.   i took care of stuff like getting a refund from ashby lumber, putting some touch up paint on my car, n' burning a copy of jerome's club dj gayo vol 4 4 kaela.   i also just pondered life n' where i'm headed.   i wanted to think 'bout what i really want to do in life.   i surrendered to the idea that i'm going thru a 0.25 life crisis.   u think i am?   well, basically, i decided to keep my résumé all fresh n' ready, n' to think 'bout all my options in life regarding career n' education.   it's really hard to say...   what's the right path?   what's the right choice?   there r so many variables.   i dunno what's the "right" choice cos there r so many "good" choices, but i know i should choose the "best" choice.   it's so hard to say.

so i dunno if i'm getting better or sicker, healthwise.   *sigh*   the queasiness has subsided, but now i got a sore throat.   what's wrong w/ my health?   sorry to bog u down w/ all these updates on my health.   i know they're boring.   last nite the beautiful kaela kang n' i skipped taekwondo practice.   nuts.   but we did get to watch nbc's thurs nite line.up.   i gotta admit that nbc's thurs nite sitcoms r not 2 bad.   i guess when i think of tv n' sitcoms, i think of stuff like family matters n' full house, n' i get so turned off.   u know how i am: i only like to watch the simpsons, et cetera.   i dunno...   so we watched tv n' we ate kaela's miyuhkgook n' stuff.   can u believe we skipped practice?!

so i want to c chicken run 2nite.   2morrow, clarence's 21st b.day n' the 6 hr simpsons musical marathon on upn44.   i hope i c toby n' phil this weekend.

journal entry.   i know that an avg of 23 ppl visit my site per day.   carol 1nce asked me how many ppl visit per month.   well, i haven't been tracking hits/month very long, so i dunno... but it's 'bout 23 per day, carol.   neway, do 23 ppl read this space every day?   if so, i'd better say something interesting, huh?   uh, well, ain't that what all on.line journalists think 'bout?   we gotta think 'bout interesting stuff to say...   neway, that's 'nother topic 4 'nother day.   i talked 'bout it on 13 december, 1999 in "metajournal: the journal of an on.line journalist."   yes, 'nother day already happened, didn't it?

so i'm not so sick 2day.   i think kaela's still sick tho'.   she's gonna c a doctor 2day.   i had lunch @ togo's in larkspur 2day, so u know.   i'm ok w/ eating 2day.   yesterday, i really couldn't eat much.   my stomach felt so nasty.   so i skipped ultimate frisbee.   i organised the event but slept instead.   then i picked up kaela.   we looked 4 the frisbee ppl, but they left already.   i drove her up into the berkeley hills, n' we watched the sun set over the sf fog.   'twas the longest day of the yr.   now it's summer!   then we went to eat jook @ shk (sun hong kong).   kaela had abalone jook, n' i had seafud jook.   we also shared a big dish of chinese broccoli w/ oyster sauce.   the meal started out good, n' i was so eager to eat.   but as i ate, i started to lose my appetite.   the last pieces of seafud in my jook were so flavourless.   after eating, i still felt sick.   neway, 2day, i feel better.

after shk, we stopped by brandie's / kaela's future place.   kaela had to pick up her new checks that came in the mail.   brandie was talking to laura on the fon, so i got to talk to her 2.   wow.   i talked to laura.   also, i talked to supermike 2day.   i talked to supermike n' laura.   wow.   "now is a good time to make old friends," i 1nce sed, huh?

according to dictionary.com, "malaise" = "1. a vague feeling of bodily discomfort, as at the beginning of an illness.   2. a general sense of depression or unease."   i feel the 1st.   yucky, fluish, feverish, yucky yuckiness.   i started feeling like this after practice last nite.   then we 168ed.   i had a tsua bing n' zhen zhou nai cha n' also picked @ other ppl's fud.   the beautiful kaela kang had this red bean pancake thingy that reminds me of those red bean fish from j.town n' korean markets, 'cept this thing was really deep fried.   i also picked @ joon's fried mahnto n' joshes seafud panfried noodles, 'specially @ the greens.   neway, i felt sick last nite.   i woke up in a sweat this morning, n' i felt a li'l better, but i still feel sorta sick.   *sigh*   yucky yuckiness.

neway, i'm sure u wanna hear more than just 'bout my bad health.   lessee...   i can tell u 'bout how i went to the mill valley mc yuk yuk's yesterday n' bought 6 teenie beanie babies: 2 each of the int'l bears.   i had to buy a extra value meal to buy those, so i had the 2 chburger combo.   i ate 'bout 2/3 of my fries n' only 1 chburger, so i might as well have had a chburger happymeal, dontcha think?   i'm not so sure my stomach felt all that great after the chburger meal.   that was all i ate all day until 168.

so summer 2000 begins 2day.   nuts, n' where's benomix3?   no where to be found.   upes.   i really need to spend some time on it, non?   i'm asking all p.crew affiliates to please go play ultimate frisbee 2nite, just like we did last yr.   'member last yr?   please refer to: 22 june, 1999 "energizer bunny" n' 21 june, 1999 "summer begins today, the longest day."   in 1998, during this time i was in asia.   summertime.   *sigh*   i wish i could enjoy summertime the way i used to back when i was a student.   i could kick back more in the summer.   nowadays, i might hafta werk harder these days or whatever.   sometimes werk slows down a li'l in the summer cos ppl take vacations, sometimes.   what's gonna happen this summer?   i dunno.   sounds like we're gonna make maybe 2 more socal trips.   we're gonna go to the women's int'l open taekwondo tournament, n' we wanna go to 6 flags magic mtn.   i wonder if that'll be 2 or 1 trip.   i know that in the recent past, i've been using much of my money to do stuff 4 my car n' to invest in bad stocks.   that's not necessarily good, huh?   we should reminisce 4 a sec 'bout my life 3 yrs ago 'round this time of yr.   check out my 24 june, 1997 entry in the beno manifesto, pt. ii.   "now is a good time to make old friends," i sed.   "sometimes one needs to suceed.   sometimes...   one must lose sometimes in something, lose big!   then he or she will learn to appreciate victory and success."   typical benotalk, huh?   typical benophilosophy.   benoology?   benolosophy.

achy, achy, achy.   malaise.   i feel tingly in a bad way.   no good.   ugh.   so what's gonna happen?   what am i gonna do 2nite, this week, this weekend?   i'm planning to go to clarence lao's burthday bbq in sf on sat afternoon.   this sat evening is the 6 hr simpsons marathon on upn44.   what else?   it's good to relax.   relax, relax, relax.   i gotta werk on benomix3!   'gain i find that time progresses.   next yr, jerome'll be a jr.   there'll be new freshmen.   ppl come, ppl go.   i'll be turning 25 this aug.   hrm...   this paragraph sounds really depressing!   *sigh*   it's just the malaise talking.   i badly need a haircut.   i haven't been writing much e.mail lately.   what's going on?   keep in touch.

[later]   i really wanna c chicken run.   u know, i was telling kaela last nite how i like animation cos u don't think 'bout the characters as actors, just as characters.   it's easier to completely believe, right?

yesterday, the beautiful kaela kang n' i celebrated our 5th monthversary.   i took her to greens @ fort mason in sf.   it's a fancy vegetarian restaurant.   i 'specially picked greens cos it's unique n' has a ocean/bay view.   u can read my review @ dine.com.   i liked it.   kaela gave me teenie beanie babies from mc yuk yuk's.   (4 me, she had to eat 2 mc yuk yuk happymeals n' upset her stomach!)   2 dinosaurs, a bee, n' a dalmation.   i like.   kaela wore her new furryneck sleeveless top.   it's really glamourous, i think.   it's a li'l on the flashy side; right up my alley.   i mean, i like!   we had a very good dinner, full dinner.   then we went to watch m:i-2 @ amc 1000 van ness.   yah, the place where my car was broken into a coupl'a weeks 'go...   it sure feels good to come out of a movie n' not have ur care broken into!   the movie was awesome!   kaela liked it 2.   that's kewl.   altho' 'twas a tom cruise everything movie, john woo did a very good job w/ the action.   it was so much better than the 1st 1.   it wasn't much of a thinking movie, just a smash 'em up, bash 'em up, blow 'em up movie.   car go boom!   ha ha ha!   i like.   neway, we went on "a date," as they say...   'twas the classic date: dinner n' a movie, a boy n' a gurl... coca.cola classic.

well, 5 months.   really has been 5 months, huh?   i guess time flies.   i'm happy w/ this beno/kaela relationship tho'.   not just "content," happy.   i wouldn't want to be in a relationship, "just cos."   no, no way.   i want to be w/ kaela.   i wanna get w/ that gurl.

ah, i haven't written all weekend!   i love weekends.   who doesn't?   hrm...   maybe some ppl don't.   so fri...   i went home n' slept.   then i woke up n' watched tv w/ joon n' josh.   kaela called a few times, expecting me to be having some wild nite w/o her, but each time my status report was the same: "i'm watching tv w/ joon n' josh."   actually, darlene was also there 4 a while b4 she left cos she had to teach the sat morn sparring class w/ deanna.   we watched that greed show, star trek voyager, n' the simpsons.   i also was going thru the cds of music videos that jerome gave me.   i hadn't cn them in a long time.   i didn't realise that he gave me the sechkies' "yeigam" video.   he gave me 3 cds all @ 1nce, n' i didn't have as much time, @ that pt, to watch videos.   neway, eventually, joon, josh, n' i got out of the house.   initially, joon wanted boston market frozen dinners from safeway, but i convinced him that we should go to brother's korean barbecue instead.   so josh drove us out to sf, we ate, we cruised, then josh dropped me off w/ kaela @ 300a, n' kaela drove herself n' me back to berkeley.

sat, joon, kaela, n' i hung out...   1st, we ate @ yeitnal jjajang.   still joon didn't get to have jjajangmyuhn there cos he ate tonkatsu n' gyoza from daruma earlier.   'least he had a patbingsoo (tsua bing).   the sign sed, "baedal wonhaseiyo?"   joon was really happy cos they can deliver to my apartment.   i wonder if he's really gonna order fud from there.   after lunch, we went to sf union square to shop @ macy's.   yah, we got deanna a nice guess outfit, kaela got a top from the women's guess dept., i got a coupl'a kenneth cole shirts, n' joon got some kewl, new shades.   a full 2-3 hrs of shopping.   then we went to the mc yuk yuk's by the cable car stop.   teenie beanie babies!!!!   k, then we went back to the east bay n' went to pusan plaza.   i'm glad kaela sorta approved of what i considered to be the best korean market 1 can find in oakland...   i haven't been inside eugine market; it might be good 2.

well, we got ready n' got to koko house by 'bout 930p, altho we should'a been there @ 900p.   deanna's 19th burthday party.   we picked up phil.   ken joined us.   later chas wareing n' tim chen joined us.   initially, i was nervous that it was kind'a awkward that i sorta invited some old friends to stop by n' hang w/ me @ this opportunity, but they got to know ppl, n' every1 had a good time.   it's funny cos phil had dr. eric johnson as his physics 8a ta; ken did 2!   funny.

sun, kaela n' i went shopping 4 master lim's present.   b4 that, we ate some chicken/asparagus stirfly n' the jogae chut from pusan plaza.   then we went out to bear basics to shop 4 master lim's cal fleece.   we just barely missed the surprise @ kip's cos we went to the bofa to get cash.   sung had told master lim that he was gonna have dinner w/ kaela n' me.   but then every1 showed up, so it was a surprise to him.   master lim's going away party...   *sigh*

2morrow is kaela n' beno's 5th monthversary.

4 1nce i'm gonna stay in good ol' buhkeulri this weekend.   no san jo, no socal, nuthin'.   2nite, i need a babysitter.   the beautiful kaela kang'll be @ her volunteer job, so some1 needs to keep me distracted till i meet up w/ her 'gain.   i'm gonna hang w/ toby from 600-800p, n' joon's volunteered to hang w/ me after that.   so who wants to hang w/ me n' joon?   maybe u can drop me off w/ kaela @ 300a.   then she can take me back to buhkeulri.   i was thinking that maybe we should hang out in sf.   we haven't gone to noraebang in a while, i was tellin' joon.   we could go to doraemi in j.town, but i hear it's always crowded.   so what else is there to do?   wouldn't go clubbin' w/o my seiksihan yuhjah.   wouldn't be as much fun.   hrm...   what can we do?   brother's is open till 300a.   mel's diner is open late.   j.town denny's is open late.   hrm...   maybe we'll figure somethin' to do.

the beautiful kaela kang has a bizzy bizzy schedul 2day.   runnin' in between sf n' the east bay over n' over.   she came to corte madera to luncheon w/ me.   she heard i went to fresh choice yesterday.   she 2 likes fresh choice.   so i went to fresh choice 2 days in a row.   whoa.   my mom likes fresh choice, n' i think my dad likes fresh choice.   as i sed, my cowerkers don't cm to like fresh choice, n' some others don't cm to like it, so i'm glad kaela'll go w/ me.   i went 2 days in a row.   it's like having a meal plan @ the dc!

while bending down to pet a dog, my killer loop "treacherous" sunglasses fell out of my shirt breast pocket.   nuts, the frame's a li'l scratched.   *sigh*   neway, doggy!   *sigh*   so what's up?   who wants to have fun?   u know whatchu should do?   sign my g.spot.   thank u.

talk 'bout the weather: yesterday was scorchingly hot, n' 2day's very windy.   after werk, i purposely drove from my office to costco w/o ne ac.   why?   i dunno.   sometimes i want to be a minimalist, prove that i can live w/o luxuries n' can endure.   i guess that was the reason, i dunno.   i noticed the subtle drops in temperature as i crossed the san rafael bridge n' as i entered the pt. richmond area, where costco is.   i appreciated those drops in temperature cos the other areas were so hot.   if i had the ac on, i wouldn't have appreciated the not.so.hot places as much as i did.   don't take sub 100° f weather 4 granted!   nope!

so yah, yesterday, on our way back from our sf office, my cowerker eric n' i ate @ in.n.out in mill valley.   i had a 2 by 2 animal style, fries, n' a small drink.   wow...   in.n.out.   talk 'bout unhealthy fud!   but eh!   just felt like trying out the new mill valley location, n' i hadn't had a dead cow burger in ages.   yah, i wish we could bbq; that sure'd be fun.   i wonder if ppl'd be interested in bbqing this sat.   that idea'd be dope, right?   the sf office in the cali4nia pacific medical center had no ac, or 'least a very weak ac.   u know, there used to 'nother ac unit in that office, but i was told to rip it out cos we converted the server room into a marketing office 4 a short time.   i dunno.   after werk, yah, i went to costco n' met kaela there.   i mean, we planned it that way.   i was waiting 4 her n' decided to purchase some costco snack bar fud.   i got a butter pretzel n' a vanilla frozen yogurt.   u know, i haven't had frozen yogurt w/ toppings in a long time.   i should go to yogurt park sometime.   how 'bout a mcflurry?   the fud was a lot to eat.   kaela showed up.   i gave her the rest of my frozen yogurt, but she didn't want ne pretzel.   oh well.   we shopped 4 a while.   i picked up pics from the socal trip.   there r some really kewl pics.   kaela's really pretty.   many pretty kaelapics.   i like using the panoramic size setting on my elph camera since panoramic prints r the same price as others @ costco.   they came out really nice, most the pics.   there's a pic of kaela n' me b4 we left 4 the 1st nite @ miyagi's, that hollywood fratparty club.   i think that's a nice pic.   kaela looks really good in that pic.   particularly good, i say.   it's like having a pic of me w/ a movie star or model or something like that.   there's some pics we took @ the bernard dr. sign from "beno at the crossroads."   hrm...   is it time 4 a new "crossroads" page?

crossroads...   that sure was a period of major change in my life.   end of a relationship, career change...   social changes.   but u know, revolutions like that happen in life when gradual progress doesn't happen.   maybe i didn't let my life progress 'nuff when i was going out w/ vivian.   hrm...   u know, it's 1 of those things like what i sed to phil: he sed that ppl don't grow in relationships, just in between, but i sed that in a good relationship, a healthy relationship, ppl grow.   it's always something good to keep in mind.   hrm...   but i've been dispensing 2 much relationship advice lately, since i was talking to ken 'bout relationship stuff 2 nites go, right?   well, hrm... my life's progress...   yah, i should take care of my life's progress.   what do i want to do?   yes, i want to have a good engineering career.   i want to do taekwondo n' my deejay stuff 2.   i like having a webpage n' this journal.   n' of course, a big priority in my life is having a relationship w/ kaela.   that's very important to me.   i value kaela.   i also value my other friends.   hrm...   so neway...   crossroads...   it's important to think 'bout life.

neway, after costco, after kaela found out she wasn't mtg w/ her new apt manager, we went to the rsf n' lifted.   as kaela sed in her journal, i wasn't totally satisfied w/ my werkout.   well, that's not totally true.   it's not that i felt i didn't get a werkout; it's just that i miss the days of m.crew, when dave n' supermike'd lift w/ me.   that was real lifting.   we'd bench w/ the olympic free weights, n' i'd push myself to max out.   if i don't lift w/ guys like them, then i'll just use the nautilus machines, n' i won't max out.   i like feeling sore after a good werkout.   after leaving the rsf, we took off our shirts cos it was so warm.   so we went back to kaela's place, n' i finally mixed up the almond jello w/ fruit: fruit cocktail, lychee, mandarin oranges.   yum yum jello.   what a hot nite!   we turned on the fan, this n' that, but we were still hot.   we watched the simpsons n' the debut episode of 3rd rock.

2day, @ lunch, i walked by myself out to the corte madera town center n' ate lunch by myself @ fresh choice.   i haven't done much walking 'round by myself since my office moved to corte madera.   corte madera's a fine place to walk, so i ought to do it more.   'course it's also much easier to drive in corte madera than in sf.   some ppl know, i don't like eating @ sit down restaurants by myself.   but i did it.   ppl @ my office don't like fresh choice, but i think it's ok, 'specially since it's got healthier fud.   this asian mom n' baby sat near me.   what a cute baby.   well, it was a good walk n' lunch.   u know, yah... those walks by myself...   i used to do that so much in sf.   i'd walk down clement or geary in the asian areas, or else i'd walk down sacramento or cali4nia 2wards to that fillmore st area or to whole fuds or places like that.   i 1nce or 2ice walked out to the usf area.   i walked to the presidio b4.   when i werked @ ebmud i took walks.   c, there's less danger in thinking n' walking.   when u think n' drive, u sometimes can getchurself into danger, non?   so walking is good.

i don't understand why, when there's road construction, u c "usa" w/ arrows spray painted on the pavement.   do u know why?   ppl don't e.mail me nemore.   it's sad.   please mail me.

yesterday, after werk, i stopped by kaela's n' ate grapes.   i drove kaela's kia yesterday cos i dropped my subaru off @ albany ford subaru on mon nite b4 kaela n' marissa went to sign the lease w/ their manager barbara n' their landlord hashim @ hashim's restaurant café del sol.   it looks like a nice restaurant.   ppl cm to prefer the big, meat topped salads.   hashim's a strict landlord.   i mean, he's strict, but i'll hope he's a nice guy.   he gave me a coke.   the mtg took quite a while.   kaela n' i planned to go to the rsf, but r plans got botched by the long mtg.   instead, afterwards, we went to andronico's n' picked up some groceries.   i cooked asparagus chicken @ kaela's.   nuthin' fancy.   we also had some romano salad.   2 much fud!   no werkout n' 2 much fud!   i'm surprised, tho', that i'm maintaining my weight ok.   i've been holding a steady 149 lbs 4 quite a while now.   'course i was 139 lbs back in nov of last yr.   that's what owen wants to be... well, he wants to be below 137 to be a bantamweight.   he's a 6' or 6'1" guy @ 142# right now.   can u believe that?   he looks really skinny.   neway...   back to mon nite: i started making almond jello 2, but it needed to sit n' solidify.   i was pretty worn out after eating...   kaela washed the dishes.   *sigh*   i'll always feel bad cing my gf wash my dishes.   hrm...   i don't want her to do domestic chores 4 me...   hrm...   i dunno...

so... tues, i drove 'round in kaela's kia.   i had a long mtg @ werk.   we had round table pizza 4 lunch.   after werk, i stopped by kaela's n' ate grapes, as i sed.   then we went to target to buy kaela a lumbar support cushion 4 her car, some other car accessories 4 her, n' a new shower curtain 4 me.   i picked a clear curtain, so the shower'll have more light.   it'll prob'ly look nastier when it gets durty tho', huh?   oh well.   kaela dropped me off @ albany ford subaru.   i just had a body panel replaced under warranty, n' i had them redo the alignment cos i don't think they did it right the 1st time...   n' that was 1 expensive alignment job!   it was pretty shady how they charged me so much.   i should've waited till their periodic coupons got mailed to me...   *sigh*   what a waste of money!   the alignment was out cos'f jerome's accident.   *sigh*   neway, car all happy now.   we stopped by my apt, i picked up my gear n' dropped off some stuff, then we went to practice.   'specially during times when i feel out of shape, i really, really, really'd prefer to get to practice early.   we were ok as far as being on.time.   i had to talk to sung 'bout master lim's party 2.   practice was good.   i really like how master yoon teaches us a variety of stuff.   he's a good instructor.

u know, last week he asked me 'bout how come, when i bow the class in, i call him "suhnsaengnim," n' then the upper dan "gohdan suhnsaengnim" or "gyohdan suhnsaengnim."   (i'm not 2 sure what "gohdan" or "gyohdan" means, but ppl say it's somethin' like "high rank."   i also know the term "gyohsoo" 4 "professor," n' i know ppl have some term "gyohsanim" 4 instructor...   maybe "gyohdan" comes from that.   i really dunno.)   i know that's weird cos it makes it sound like the upper dan outrank the masters.   i told him that's just the way we do it 'round here.   some ppl call the upper dan "yoodanjanim," but we all know that that's also not quite right cos "yoodanja" means "black belt person," n' the 1st n' 2nd dan ppl r also yoodanja.   dr. min recently lectured matt geiss 'bout that... but actually matt said "gyohdanjanim" but dr. min heard him wrong.   so i've always used "suhngsaengnim"/"gohdan suhnsaengnim."   neway, since it cmed to bother him, last nite, while bowing the class in n' out, i referred to master yoon as "sabuhmnim," which is more appropriate neway, but it's not s.o.p. (standard operating procedure) 'round ucmap.   it just isn't.   neway, he didn't say nething to me 'bout it, so i'll assume it's fine by him.   c, ain't that just the prob w/ learning korean from ppl who don't know how to speak korean?   i went thru a lot of that from ucmap; that's 4 sure.   but master yoon is making us speak more korean, so i guess things'll improve 'round here in that aspect.

we 168ed after practice.   clarence, patrick, joon w/ his crispy duck duck, owen, shun, jeff wang, their friend christina, n' kaela n' me.   i had 2 much to eat!   the chicken naeng myun (something like "ji siu nahng mien"), a tsua bing, n' a zhenzhou nai cha.   ugh! 2 much!!!   joon n' clarence both had crispy duck duck, mmmm...   i didn't have ne of that tho'.   yum yum duck.   quack quack duck.   2 much fud 4 beno.

so neway, i rattled off all the details of my life 4 the past coupl'a days, huh?   now i'd like to leave the rattling off n' just talk.   i figure this kind'a talk is more interesting to u all.   as always, i apologise 4 rattling off details n' assure u that i do it just 4 my own selfish sake, so i can, yrs from now, remember what i did, right?   right.   *sigh*   so phil wrote me an interesting e.mail.   it was like a "beno journal" entry or something... well, better than that!   phil's a better writer.   i shared the e.mail w/ kaela, n' she liked it 2.   i wish i could share the e.mail w/ every1.   phil ought to have his own dang journal!   i warmly welcome him to write a guest entry in my journal.   his e.mail talked 'bout supporting small biznesses n' good intentions...   keepin' it real.   i'm really glad phil took taekwondo last semester.   it's true that he's now stepped foot into my world, had a taste of what my life is like.   true.   true dat, true dat.

my cowerker alfred leaves 2nite on vacation.   when he gets back, he'll be married.   his wedding'll be in lebanon, where he was originally from.   wow.   u know, single guys should remember that they'll prob'ly not meet their future wives/gfs in either the men's bathroom or the men's locker room.   i dunno.   i 'member reflecting on that back when i was a non.hooked up guy.   i had a long, "deep" conversation w/ ken last nite 'bout relationships.   it's a warm day in the bay area.   i'm gonna go to costco.   it's flag day 1nce 'gain!

characteristic polynomial.   in linear algebra n' mech e controls classes, we just called it the "char poly."   so i had this joke, that i told to toby, n' he liked it.   this was a long time 'go.   neway, imagine an asian parents saying: "my son...   he not go hahbah, he not go buhkulree, he not go sutanfuh.   he go char poly."   dumb joke.   but it was 1 of those dumb, completely senseless/inane things that toby n' i could talk on the fon 4 hours 'bout...   like how we'd go: "wo shir hurshee skwur!   ding! ding! ding! ding!   ni shir hurshee skwur!   ding! ding! ding! ding!"   that was the imitation of beijing opera that i made up, n' toby n' i'd go 'round saying that 4 a very long time to each other on the fon, going thru various variations.   hrm...   yah, it was a big waste of time; we could'a been doing something productive, like our math 54 homewerk, but we'd sit n' do that instead.   *sigh*   weird, huh?   i haven't cn toby in a while.   andy sed he saw toby running @ clark kerr.   i should run.

so this weekend, we (primarily meaning the beautifulkaela kang n' i) went down to san jo, then down to steve's graduation n' grace's b.day party down in san luis obispo (slo), n' back up to san jo.   we got a very late start to going down to san jo.   i told my mom we'd be home 4 dinner, but far from such luck.   we took a long time getting out of berkeley, aka b.town.   since we didn't eat dinner yet, we stopped @ the taco bell / kfc drive.thru on telly, 'cross the street from koko house.   *sigh*   i miss my pager.   i was fascinated w/ the idea of ordering chicken n' tacos in the same order.   i know linda buell 1nce left some leftovers from a combined kfc / taco bell order in my car.   in fact, i got the same combo meal that she must've had that nite.   the nite she left the fud in my car, i think, was the nite we watched being john malkovich.   that nite i had to bring some fast fud to etcheverry hall 4 supermike n' his lab partner, tyson.   he asked me to go out to j.box.   i was gonna give him linda's leftovers 2, but i 4got.   that was a sat nite, n' s.mike told me he'd go preseason snowboarding w/ me @ northstar that following sunday, but he bailed on me.   instead, i drove up to tahoe all alone n' met up w/ meng n' darlene in truckee, where they spent the nite @ the holiday inn express.   ah, i c... that was thanksgiving weekend of last yr!   here, take a look: "catfish," 29 november, 1999.   ah, 1999...   what a yr!   wow, that was the same weekend that we watched sleepy hollow.   wow! i was just telling kaela 'bout how i made every1 watch both sleepy hollow n' the mummy cos i wanted to c scary movies, but i was disappointed w/ the movies both times.   every else cmed to like the mummy more than i did...   'bout the same w/ sleepy hollow.   the only good thing 'bout sleepy hollow was the costume n' set design.   it was so lame that the hessian soldier didn't talk, but just went "aaaargh!   aaaargh!" all the time.   geez, since when did german sound like that?!   u'd think he was some kind of swamp monster or something.

man, i don't get much e.mail these days.   where is every1?   friends do make me happy.   please e.mail beno.   phil should e.mail beno.

so yah...   fri nite, i drove kaela down to san jo.   we got there late, n' we didn't eat my mom's spaghetti that nite.   my dad was staying in san jo @ my mom's house.   we pretty much got ready 4 bed as soon as we got home.   there was a big spider in my room.   kaela sorta screamed as i killed it.   i didn't have nething to whack it w/, so @ 1st, i used my cell fon...   of all the things to kill a spider w/...   can u believe that?   wow, what a useful device!   a cellular communication device n' spider whacker, all in 1!   neway, this was a big spider, so it wouldn't die w/ just 1 whack; that only injured it, 'specially since it was a shag carpet.   so i asked kaela 4 something else to whack it w/ cos i didn't wanna keep banging my cell fon.   she handed me my old sf 49ers hat i got from mcdonald's, n' which i wore on my 8th grade trip to washington d.c.   so whack! whack! whack! n' the spider was delimbed n' incapacitated.   i went to the bathroom n' got some teepee to pick up n' crush the spider's body.   my mom came out of her bedroom cos the noise woke her.   i told her 'twas just a spider.   i wasn't sure if she heard me cos i sorta mumbled, but i think she did understand cos she was satisfied w/ my answer.   *sigh*   so what goes on in a spider's head as i kill it?   geez, spiders...   8 legs; they sure run fast.   i sure don't like spiders 2 much.   of course, when i was a kid i hated n' detested spiders, n' i was scared of them.   my dad had to kill spiders 4 me.

father's day is coming up.   yah, my dad used to kill spiders 4 me.   when did i ever start killing spiders 4 myself?   i dunno... middle skool?   @ 1st, i'd always use long range weapons like rubber bands n' stuff, or else, mid range chemical warfare, like hairspray et cetera.   eventually, i learned to just engage them hand.to.hand.   well, since father's day is coming up, let's also discuss the time that my dad built 4 me a giant pac man halloween costume.   'twas made out of cardboard from some big boxes.   he cut out piece to make a 3d pacman costume, yes.   wore it 'round my body. my arms n' legs stuck out.   i wore a yellow sweater underneath.   he cut an eyehole to c out of.   he made it so ppl could put candy into my pac man mouth into a receptacle.   so i was this big, yellow circle/cylinder w/ black eyes n' a mouth.   i went trick 'r treating.   sometime in the nite, i tripped down some steps, n' i rolled down cos i was so round.   *sigh*   i wish i had pics of that costume.   'least i have memories.

neway, fri nite...   sleep.   sat morn, i woke up on time, i guess, prob'ly due to hustle n' bustle, i dunno.   'twas like 700a or so.   i tried to wake kaela up 1nce or 2ice, n' then gave up 4 a sec n' went back to bed.   i had already brushed my teeth n' done some other morning things.   my mom caught me back in my bed n' she chewed me out cos we had to leave in like 10 mins or so @ 730a.   i guess, i then made sure kaela was up n' out of bed.   then we got ready.   my dad drove us in his rented, white chevy malibu.   he had doughnuts/fritters n' baked, chinese buns 4 breakfast.   greasy fritters!   kaela n' i quickly fell asleep, while my dad drove on 101s.   so now kaela had met my dad.   we stopped somewhere close to slo to go to a j.box.   there, kaela bought a large soda.   strawberry min maid soda, she liked.   my cocktail of coke, lemonade, n' diet coke, which i made while she was in the restroom, she detested!   i dumped that out n' got more strawberry min maid.   self.serve sodas.   my sister had prepared brunch 4 her n' steve's guests, so we didn't eat.   so we got to pismo beach.   lots'a steve's family was there: his parents, tom n' claudine lynch; his older brutha scott, scott's pregnant wife michele, n' their 2 yr old daughter katie; uncle ted (claudine's younger brutha), aunt mary.jane, their elder son collin, n' their younger son patrick.   so my mom n' dad, kaela, n' i joined them all in grace n' steve's pismo beach apt.   i wish i could'a showed kaela the beach, which is just less than a block 'way from their apt; but we had no time.   *sigh*   so we brunched: quiches, salmon / cream cheese on crackers, fruit salad w/ mango n' papaya, strawberries n' cream, crackers n' dip, fruit cookies...   yum, yum.   i was still sorta full from that greasy fritter quarter n' the 0.25 of the hong do bao that i ate.   i started feeling hungry later in the afternoon tho'.   neway...   hung 'round n' talked 'bout stuff.   then we took 3 cars to the slo campus.   pregnant michele (w/ 1 'l') was to join us later.   i was so surprised to c that ted n' mary.jane drove a subaru outback since there r very few subarus in socal.   a green subaru, green like mine, but w/ a usc license plate holder instead.   steve's graduation had 2 parts: the big futbol stadium ceremony w/ 0.5 of the cal poly colleges, n' the college of architecture n' environmental design ceremony in the rec center basketball gym.   after the ceremonies, we went to dinner @ the madonna inn, which i noticed on our way down.   i took notice cos my cowerkers talked 'bout it n' its theme rooms.

congratulations steve!   happy burthday grace!

the madonna inn n' all its beef!   i had the prime rib, cooked medium rare.   most ppl 'round me had the filet mignon.   i thought 'twas a pretty good meal.   i liked it.   we gave the couple their presents.   we gave steve a dress shirt from br n' grace a tightly sealing, decorated, glass fruit canister thingy.   we figured those were things they'd use.   u know...   i was thinking, as i watched katie, 'bout how i actually sorta remember being that age.   i 'member sitting in a stroller.   weird.   i 'member 'twas a yellow n' orange plaid stroller, no cover or nething.

well, after dinner, my dad drove my mom, kaela, n' me back up to san jo.   it was late.   we stopped @ a chevron to use the bathroom.   there was some carnival nearby, w/ live mexican musik.   it sounded so lively, n' 'twas loud.   it was in spanish; even the emcee spoke in spanish.   the chevron bathroom was stinky, not my fault.   kaela n' i slept in the car both on the way down n' on the way back.   it was so hard to stay awake in the car, i dunno why.   it's not often that i get to ride in the backseat of a car instead of driving it.   well, we got back to san jo, n' kaela n' i watched snl, n' my parents went to sleep.   kaela wanted me to show her fishmasters on channel 8 cos we saw a videotape in grace n' steve's collection labelled "fishmasters."   i introduced them to that show, i think.   it's this funny wayne's world.ish, low budget show 'bout these 2 bumpkinny duds, not 2 bright, but 1 dumber than the other... like dumb n' dumber...   n' they want to go fish everywhere, but they get into all sorts of trouble.   it's really funny, but i dunno if it's on nemore.   here's a website 'bout them: warning: the fishmasters.   snl was a rerun.   channel 8 was 2 blurry to watch, but there was no fishmasters on neway, just an snl re.run.   so we went to sleep.

wow, we slept in late!   we ate my mom's spaghetti as our brunch meal.   we did laundry n' watched the video 'bout my great.grandparents n' the hwang family history.   it was a longer video than i remember it being.   neway, we finally got out of the house.   i proved to kaela that san jo has a j.town, then i brought her to valley fair.   i meant to show her more of the el camino asian/korean area, but we stayed @ valley fair 2 long.   i bought her a replacement pair of maui jim sunglasses to replace the 1s stolen in the break.in.   this time i made sure i paid w/ my discover card, so i can claim it if it were to get stolen 'gain.   *sigh*   well, we met my mom @ sushi masa 4 dinner.   the sunglass hut cashier took a long time.   we made my mom wait 4 so long.   well, we had an excellent sushi dinner @ sushi masa.   mmmm...   spider roll, eel roll, rainbow roll, uni, mirugai, salmon skin roll, salmon roll, cali roll...   yum, yum, yum.   sushi sure is good, ain't it?   well, after dinner, kaela n' i packed up.   we swung by ken's cos he's giving me n' my friends all his old taekwondo equipment.   since ken was @ 1st bizzy @ kinko's copies, i drove kaela by the greystone lane new houses.   my mom had told me to look @ some house out there earlier.   we only saw 1 house 4 sale, n' 'twas sold.   nice, big houses.   joon's living in my apt cos he's looking 4 housing.

friends don't let friends eat their other friends!   duck! duck! duck!   quack! quack! quack!   yum yum duck.   uh oh.   these past few days have been quite bizzy @ werk, so i've been going home right after werk instead of staying later n' writing long journal entries.   we've had lots'a mtgs, which means free lunch.   that's good, wouldn'tchu say?   well, 2day's fri.   "friday, i'm in love."   just think 'bout all the cure n' smashing pumpkins references phil'll drop in his usual e.mail to beno.   just think.   please think.   it's good to reference the cure, smashing pumpkins, depeche mode, the smiths, n' the simpsons.   if i were an english ta, i'd give extra pts 4 those types of references n' allusions.   yes, indeed.   "call me morbid, call me pale.   i spent six yrs on ur trail..."   i heard "half a person" (the smiths) in bear basics 2 days ago when i was shoppin' 'round telly ave.   i was surprised to hear it.   then some stoopid sales associate asks the cashier what the musik is cos he didn't like it but he "don't like to judge musik by lyrics..." or something like that.   (ever heard the term "some $#!+ up" used in place of "something"?   if i were to use it, i'd make it 1 wurd: "sum$#!+up.")   well, in ne case he's a pretty big ignoramus cos he doesn't know a very fundamental modern rock classic yet he considers himself 1 of the "so phucin' alternative" bunch.   ha ha.   do u know what i mean, tho?   i mean, he's "that type" of guy who u can tell thinks he's "so phucin' alternative," yet he doesn't know something so basic.   phil doesn't like the smiths.   it has something to do w/ some snooty, snobby gurl in hs liking the smiths n' morrissey.   (i know that that last sentence didn't have good grammar... a gerund should be treating like a noun, modified by "snobby gurl's" somehow, but it'd sound 2 awkward.)   "in the days when u were hopelessly poor, i just liked u more."   why does "half a person" stick in my head so well?   i think fahad liked that song a lot or something.   just think 'bout all the guys who show up to cure concerts dressed like morrissey, n' all those who show up to depeche mode concerts dressed like robert smith.   so i was telling kaela n' ken last fri @ the cure concert, the 1st time i went to a cure concert, i was 'bout the same shape as robert smith (bob) is now.   funny, huh?

"so if u have 5 secs to spare..."   check out the lyrics: lasid - half a person.   duck, duck, duck.   just think.   duck: ur friend.   duck: ur fud.   strange, huh?   so i got my car washed 2 days 'go @ touchless on kittredge n' oxford.   whatchu think 'bout that carwash?   i felt that the employees werked so hard to clean my car, 'least the inside.   i tipped them a li'l.   but, later, then i realised they completely missed the roof, pretty much.   that's quite disappointing, wouldn'tchu think?!   like, they did a really good job on the interior; i saw them wipe n' vacuum 4ever.   so, yes, i shall make almond jello sometime soon 4 kaela.   2morrow is steve's graduation.

i never wanna take my friend 4granted.   duck duck.   sometimes i wonder if i'm addicted to the social scene, if i gotta have a large group of friends 'round me all the time.   but, i dunno...   maybe that's not a legitimate worry.   i really think there r positives to having lotta friends 'round.   friends r good!   duck delicious.   tastyduck.   when ur car breaks down, ur friends loan u theirs.   ur friends help u move furniture.   ur friends make u laff, n' they eat w/ u.   . . . if u don't eat them 1st: duck duck duck duck.   earlier this week, i got to play w/ my cowerker benn's pit bull named amber.   she's so cute!   *sigh*   puppydoggy.   yah, benn spells his name w/ 2 'n's; no typo.   on tues nite, we had fud n' drink @ mandarin house, yes.   asparagus chicken.   kaela bought me a peanut boba.   there's a new taiwanese boba caf´ on bancroft: quikley's tea, or something like that.   $1.75 per cup, n' they use the real cellophane seal thingy.   joon sez his parents say guys shouldn't eat the wings (of chicken) cos then they'll be like horny playa roosters.   josh sez gurls shouldn't eat the wings, or else they'll be harlotsluts.   hrm...   weird, huh?   so which is it?   or should we just throw the wings of chickens away, feed them to doggies?   but then we'll have such promiscuous doggies...   which means more puppies.   good or bad thing?   don'tchu just love folklore?   oral tradition.   quack quack.

"friends r friends 4ever, if the lord's the lord of them."   'member that?   michael w. smith, right?   friends n' cliques: how long do u think the average clique survives?   cliques 4m, n' cliques end.   they end cos: 1) many of the main consituents geographically move, even tho' it's easy to communicate via the net or 2) ppl get sick of each other cos there r 2 many internal disputes n' old grudges.   maybe there r more reasons.... hrm...   i guess ur friends can die off or get transmogrified into zombie monsters or something.   so what's the average lifetime of a clique?!   somebody please tell me.   many cliques don't really die off.   current "hang out" friends turn into old "keep in touch" friends.   right?   hrm.   does this sound 2 pessimistic 4 me?   i dunno.   friends of all kinds r good.   i was really happy to c every1 @ s.mike's 168 party.   we finally neoprinted 1nce 'gain.   whatchu think?   wouldju rather have a large, large group of friends or a small, tighter knit group of friends?   e.mail me ur opinions please.

so last nite, we practiced.   master yoon saw my "halo" kick @ it's worst n' tried to give me some basics to focus on re: it.   i can do that kick much better.   i dunno...   i felt inflexible n' uncoordinated, so i couldn't do it right.   kaela bought a table yesterday.   joon n' i brought it up to her albany place after practice.   it was really bulky.   then we put the table n' 4 chairs 2gether.   yesterday, i put a conference table 2gether @ werk.   that was quite a task cos the original hardware was all messed up, so i made a bunch'a new holes 4 new screws.   neway, after moving kaela's table, the 3 of us went to shk (sun hong kong).   n' that's how we got duck duck duck.   joon was so hyped to eat duck.   his enthusiasm to eat duck rubbed off onto me so i ordered the wonton noodle soup w/ roasted duck.   kaela had wonton noodle soup, n' joon had roasted duck.   so my dish was the sum of theirs.   weird, huh?   but then joon also had steamed rice, while neither of us did.   but that's a minor detail.   168's crispy duck is really good.   the skin is so crispy... n' so fatt'ning.   think 'gain 'bout those mallard ducks that hang out by my office.

stocks: how r those stocks doin'?   (should'a bought that ibm stock when dave told me to!)   cowekers discussed how men talk 'bout sports cos it's a "safe" topic.   sports?   i don't talk 'bout sports 'cept taekwondo n' snowboarding.   i think fud's a good topic; but then it gets cultural n' ppl get pissed off @ each other, n' the punches fly.   politics n' religion r obviously touchy topics.   what else wouldju talk 'bout?   fashion.   ha ha.   uhm, flowers, kittens, n' household tips.   technology, now that's a topic, ain't it?   guys can talk 'bout electronic devices, right?   i dunno.   but not every1's w/ the times, right?   we can talk 'bout hunting: hunting rifles, hunting ducks, hunting dogs...   we can talk 'bout vegan cuisine.   let's talk 'bout quaker oats chewy bars.   notice ppl call them "chewies" now?   they don't call them granola bars.   so 4 the past few months, i've had this big costco box of nestlé crunch n' butterfinger chewies.   a bar made w/ bits of bars; isn't that funny?   they're really tasty.   jerome introduced me to them.   instead of eating candy bars, opt 4 the healthier alternative.   also, eat more fruits n' veggies.   why don't we all go on vegetarian diets?   vegetarian duck.   carnivorous duck.

kaela gave me a pets.com sock puppet doggy!!!   the ups guy delivered it to my office just b4 i left 4 a mtg in sf!   wow! whatchu know?   it's really cute.   i like.   i really like.

well, this is it.   s.mike leaves 2morrow 4 l.a.   then he'll be off to va.   crazy, huh?   i'm sitting @ kaela's place, waiting 4 her to shower.   we're, so far, 49 mins late to s.mike's going away party @ 168.   no. now, we're an hour late.   ok, we'd better go.   well, i know s.mike doesn't read this; he just reads the pages w/ incriminating pics of him n' asks me to take them down.   ha ha!   neway, i'd better go now.

so last nite, the ever.wonderful, beautiful kaela kang n' i dined w/ s.mike @ raja indian cuisine on university ave., by mod lang records.   it thought it was a pretty good dinner.   dang, that place ain't cheap, so i'd better have liked it.   ha ha.   it was pretty good, i thought.   'gain, i wrote a review on dine.com.   well, after dinner, kaela n' i helped s.mike move his stuff out of his etcheverry hall office.   it was fun to do that, actually.   i didn't mind helping out a friend.   moving stuff out of etcheverry isn't something i do every nite, so eh! why not?   i think it's fun to be 'round friends.   i'm kinda glad joon is living on my couch right now; it makes life more fun.   now, if i'm married w/ a family someday, n' joon is still living on my couch, that could be a diff story, huh?

again?!   yes, again.   last nite, i picked kaela up from her sfgh volunteer job.   we went out to eat @ ebisu, which i thought was good but a li'l overrated.   u can read my review on dine.com.   in fact, u can sign up to be a member n' write ur own reviews there.   well, neway...   some1 messed w/ my car on the street where i parked near ebisu.   i parked on 9th street in front of some chinese restaurant.   the alarm had been tripped.   neway, that was the big thing.   later, after dinner, all stuffed, we went to watch dinosaur @ amc 1000 van ness.   it was a good movie, a big story 'bout dinosasurs n' monkeys searching 4 fud n' sex.   well...   i had parked on van ness cos i so easily found parking.   un4tunately, we carelessly left our bags in the backsesat of my car.   some1 broke in n' took them.   the person just smashed thru the window, took them, n' ran.   the sfpd r so useless.   i tell u...   if i ever want to break into some1's car n' do stuff like that?   i sure as phuc won't be discouraged by the thought of cops cos they sure don't do $#!+!   'least state farm is a good insurance company.   they's good ppl.   our biggest loss is kaela's new sunglasses, which i bought 4 her down in socal.   that's the biggest loss.   i lost my planner.   that really sucks.   now i gotta get every1's numbers n' addresses 'gain.   should i buy a palm pilot?   nah.

it's really funny: i was to pick kaela up from the sfgh, right?   we agreed to go out to a dinner n' movie that nite, but that wasn't until lunchtime, when we decided that, so she had no going.out clothes w/ her.   i had to pick out some clothes n' bring them to her.   it's like having a barbie doll, huh?   ha ha.   but no...   i wouldn't want to make her wear nething she doesn't want to.   she has good fashion sense.   well, she looked very nice in the outfit i brought her.   ha ha.   *sigh* on my way to the bay bridge, a li'l burdy hit my windshield.   or i hit it.   it was flying to the bay.   i wasn't going very fast.   i'm hoping it survived.   it might have.   i wasn't going very fast.

so yah, s.mike doesn't approve of yet 'nother pic of him on my webpage, so i gotta take it down.   *sigh*   he sez we'll hang out 2nite, just the 2 of us.   we'll c.   he leaves on thurs.   we'd better have a party w/ him on wed nite!   yes, it is sad that s.mike is leaving berkeley n' going so far 'way.   *sigh*

it's a free sun(day).   hrm...   it'd be nice to get a free sundae.   so kaela n' i were in san jo, but now we're back.   this morn, i dropped kaela off @ the sfgh 4 her volunteer job.   afterwards, i figured that i was in sf, so i should hang 'round sf a li'l just cos.   so i drove to j.town n' parked.   i strolled 'round.   some stuff wasn't open yet or else was just opening.   i didn't stay long.   i got back in my car n' went home to berkeley.   joon's been living in my apt since this past week.   he's been looking 4 housing 4 himself n' doug.   s.mike's pissed @ me cos of the scandalous pics i have on my cal taekwondo party crew: 1999-2000 taekwonboarding season page.   *sigh*   i mean, most of the pics r good pics, right?   it's just that 1 scandalous pic of him, i guess.   *sigh*   so i guess i'll change that section.   u'd better look @ it b4 i take it down cos it's comin' down in a few minutes!   ha, that doesn't give u much chance.   basically, if u haven't cn it yet, u won't.   *sigh*   censorship on the net?!   no way!   ha ha.   but then 'gain s.mike's a good friend, n' i'd never wanna piss him off.

neway, so on fri nite, i took kaela down to the sobay, n' we went to the cure concert @ shoreline.   it was pretty fun, n' i enjoyed showing kaela something of a past life of mine.   i liked best the classic cure songs, but there were some songs off the new album that i thought were kewl.   i never bought bloodflowers or galore.   we were really close.   well, we started out @ row m, but moved down to.. i dunno... the 5th row of seats or so...   so this is the last concert 4 the cure, huh?   i'm glad i heard "just like heaven" 1 last time in concert.   i gotta admit tho', it was all much more special when i was a high skool kid, the whole idea that i was @ a rock concert, cing some cultpop icon.   i had so much more energy 'bout the whole scene, u know?   'twas a funny crowd @ the concert.   there were so many yuppies who had grown up from the 80s new wave scene.   the parking lot was full of such nice cars!   such nice dot com yuppie cars.   my, how times have changed, right?   *sigh*   yah, 'twas fun.   we ate @ carrow's on hamilton by san tomas afterwards.   oh, kaela n' i met up w/ ken n' his sister karen @ the concert.   i mean, we planned to.

eat, sleep, eat sleep.   sat.   kaela n' i went to taiwanese brunch w/ my mom n' guy.   we went to some restaurant named li hwa in milpitas.   'twas a good meal.   then we went home n' finished laundry n' fell asleep, semi.unintentionally.   my mom came home n' found us so drowsy, so she told us to nap, so we did.   then we woke up, n' my mom had ginseng chicken 4 us.   that's sam gae tang, in korean; i dunno what it is in chinese.   then we got ready to go.   we left my house in san jo, then went to ken's house, where he was installing these sonic molechasers that look like li'l missiles.   moles?   he has moles in his yard?   i wonder if moles r cute.   neway, he took us in his m3 to his store, ideal paging & cellular, to look @ their bunny.   we sat n' chatted 4 a while, then kaela n' i left.   we didn't go straight up to berkeley tho'.   we watched a movie @ amc mercado 20 off 101 in santa clara.   that's an azian thug hangout.   i told her that, n' it was obvious 1nce we pulled into the parking lot.   every car was fixedup/trickedout.   wow, so this is the sobay hangout, u know?   i went there 1tym b4 w/ s.mike n' his gf.@.the.tym bianca.   that tym, we watched ronin w/ ken n' billy.   last nite, kaela n' i watched frequency.   'twas a pretty good movie.   that was the 1st tym we went to a movie by ourselves; we left the kids @ home.

well, it's sun.   it's a nice day outside.   i shouldn't sleep it away.   i should get out.   s.mike wants me to erase those pics, so i gotta take them offline 1st.   then he wants me to call him.   i hope this is a pleasant interaction; i don't like getting chewed out, u know?

phew!   i just finished posting snowpics from the 1999/2000 taekwonboarding season.   phew!   finally, huh?   'twas a long, difficult task; lots'a pics!   come c: cal taekwondo party crew: 1999-2000 taekwonboarding season.

so joon's staying @ my place.   last nite i had him over @ kaela's place.   we ate instant yook kae jang n' watched the simpsons.   i'm happy that kaela returns 2nite!

the ocf server keeps going down, so i'm just gonna type a li'l right now to say i'm here n' alive.   happy burthday, mom!   it's my mom's burthday.   kaela went to fresno 2nite n'll stay there overnite 4 her wurk.   she comes back 2morrow evening.   i found out that i am going to the cure concert this fri.   whadya know.   ken sez we have really good seats.

[later]   so i went to my 1st taekwondo practice 4 the summer session last nite.   i guess it was okay.   i thought i'd be so out of shape from 2 weeks of almost no practice.   really was ok.   so yah...   i'm going to the cure concert this fri.   it sorta sprung up as a surprise cos ken didn't really talk 'bout it since a long time 'go.   he just sorta asked if i wanted to go, then i didn't hear 'bout it 4 a while...   karen bought us some really nice tickets.   this is so weird.   i used to be so into the drab, dark musik scene, u know?   i mean, i was so into the cure, right?   well, hrm...   their music n' lyrics'll 4ever stick in my head, n' i still think they're kewl, but u know... like, i didn't even buy their latest album bloodflowers or nething.   that means i'll be 1 of those annoying old.timers @ the concert who only get happy when they play their oldstuff, u know?   *sigh*   actually, it's pretty exciting to finally go to a rock concert again, huh?   well, kaela sed she'd go w/ me, but i feel bad cos it's not a cheap ticket.   i'm wondering if i should take some bigger cure fan.   i don't wanna 4ce kaela to go, but she sez she wants to go w/ me, but she doesn't really like the cure much.   well, we'll c.   i also think it'd be nice to show her a li'l bit 'bout 1 of my past lives, u know?

[later still]   u do know why i entitled 2day's entry "easy cure," right?   that's the cure's original name, of course.   well, i just finished writing some e.mails.   ha ha, i guess if i wrotechu e.mail, u know.   well, if u check ur e.mail frequently.   i just e.mailed a few ppl.   wow, phil wrote 'bout some interesting things in an e.mail he sent me b4 i left to socal.   interesting things.   phil's an interesting guy.

*sigh*   so it's like almost summer.   in my opinion, it's summer.   what fun things'll happen?   i'm sad that ppl'll leave 4 law skool / move 4 werk.   owen, s.mike, kaela, n' i ate @ thai basil after practice.   s.mike leaves 4 virginia next week.   crazy.   i miss kaela.   i tried to call her, but no answer.

so i've been on vacation.   oh yah, i got lots to tell!   but the 1st order of bizness!!!!   baby quails!   yesterday, i was driving kaela's new kia sportage up from socal w/ her, n' there was construction on the 5 in the grapevine, so we took the optional detour, which leds us thru some nice, scenic roads in the hills.   we were "making good time" along this semi.curvy road, n' then i saw these li'l brown things scurrying 'cross the road.   aaaah!   a mutha quail n' baby quails!   a whole bunch!   i dunno how many, but i thought there were like 16 or so, a lot!   like i was surprised to c 1 mutha w/ so many babies.   maybe she was babysitting.   neway, i stepped on the brakes, n' the car stopped in time.   phew!   so i watched the li'l, li'l, li'l baby burds go deet deet deet deet 'cross the road.   (baby quails r so much smaller than ducklings or chicks.   after all, adult quails r so much smaller than adult ducks or chickens.)   such li'l feet! such li'l legs!   it took them a while to cross the wide road, but they were trying their best.   they all survived.   then the mutha burd was really worried cos the babies sorta got scattered.   i saw her looking 'round the grassy weeds, poking her head in different directions.   she looked so worried!   but then she found her babies, n' her babies found her, n' they were happy.   u should've cn it!   *sigh*   then a pick.up truck was approaching from behind, so i had to keep going.   else i would'a stayed to watch them longer.   *sigh*   u know, the quail is the ca state burd...   so it'd be illegal if i ran them over.   uhm, 'least if they r cali4nia quail...   i guess there's a specific species that's the state burd, right?

so i spent 4 days in socal.   we left 4 socal on thurs afternoon, got their thurs nite, n' we came back home yesterday / mon / memorial day.   it was fun.   i met kaela's hs friends.   i spent more time w/ her family.   i got to tour socal.   i really got quite the whole l.a. / socal experience.   i even got to c kaela in action, shaking off an carjacking attempt!   wow, how much more l.a. can u get?!   wow!   fun vacation, huh?   yes.   i dunno where to begin talkin' 'bout this socal trip.

well, 'twas warmer in socal, n' it just plain felt like socal.   ppl 'round me were socal ppl, speaking socal talk, dressing like socal ppl, eating socal fud, driving socal cars, doing socal things, everything!   'member over new year's, i went down to socal n' stayed @ s.mike's n' all that.   yah, he pted out that there r no subarus in socal.   yah, there still r no subarus down in socal...   well... "no," meaning "very few."   every1 drives a honda or toyota.   sf has more beemers/capita than socal, i believe.   socal culture: i was discuss w/ kaela how asian.american families differ from socal to norcal.   i noticed that, on average, asian parents in norcal r more americanised than in socal.   wow... clubbing on the strip (sunset blvd.) is nothing like clubbing in sf...   hrm...   la culture.

so thurs, we drove down, we luncheoned @ andersen's split pea in santa nella, then we got into chino.   kaela drove the buick from berkeley to santa nella.   then i drove it from santa nella till castaic.   then jeanna drove it from castaic to chino.   i fell asleep in the back on that stretch, so i had no clue how to get to chino.   i just knew we were there.   so we went in.   their parents were watching korean tv.   kaela showed me her baby/kid pics... up until jr. high.   i slept in jay's room.   jay's kaela's bro, u know.   he's @ skool @ uci.   he comes home on the weekends.   fri, we woke up later than we were supposed to.   we went to beverly soon dubu in koreatown 4 lunch, met up w/ mary au n' sarah liang.   oh yah! on the hwy, we passed a sign on a store...   the store was called "beno's"!!!!   it sells athletic clothes, i think.   i never got a pic of it, but we took pics @ the bernard dr. sign by the in.n.out, the site of the "beno @ the crossroads" shot.   *sigh*   wow, that was quite some time 'go, huh?   geez, life sure has progressed since then!   neway...   beverly soon dubu...   so i met a couple more of kaela's hs friends.   i had already met linda kwon.   i was genuinely impressed w/ mary n' sarah.   ha.   i dunno how else to put it.   like, i'm glad kaela has kewl friends, basically.   ha ha... not like her berkeley friends r unkewl! ha ha...   it's just that it cms like during some of her yrs @ berkeley, she sorta got artificially isolated from ppl she wanted to be friends w/, so it's nice to meet more of her friends.   also...   in some ways, ur hs friends'll always be the closest friends u ever had... not necessarily the 1s u hang w/ thru.out ur whole life, but the closest u ever had.   that's what my french teacher told us, n' kaela's group of hs friends discussed that this weekend.   neway...   i think kaela's hs friends r kewl ppl.   kewl, hip ppl!   they don't believe me that i really think that.   i mean, i told sarah that i'm impressed, n' she thinks i'm joking.   if only she read this journal, huh?   well, lunch @ beverly soon dubu was good.   i asked 4 al jjigae but they brought me haemul jjigae, but that was fine by me.   i only picked al jjigae cos i wanted to get something diff from kaela, but i would'a picked haemul jjigae.   sarah n' mary were waiting 4 a long time 4 us; we were late.   luckily it's easier to find parking in l.a. than in sf or berkeley.   after lunch, sarah n' mary left, n' kaela brought 'round k.town.   we went to a market...   they had boba drinks!   i got used to hearing prices in korean expressed in "bool."   the last time i had to deal w/ asking 4 prices in korean, i was in korea, so i was dealing w/ won.   kaela bought some snacks n' mochi.   i bought this dduhk, that i didn't know koreans liked, but i used to always get from chinatown bakeries, this spongy, slimy, rice cake.   upes, we left the mochi n' dduhk in the fridge @ her house.   we barely had ne.   oh well.   we visited the morning glory store.   there was a common theme 4 that day: searching 4 bathrooms.   lots'a places have "customer only" bathrooms, so @ the yoshinoya by the morning glory store, we bought a small pepsi.   that was after kaela bought a extremely cute, li'l, round stuffed piyo keychain.   u know, piyo's popularity is holding out quite well in america 'mongst both chinese n' koreans.   that's good.   2 yrs ago in hk, i heard piyo was out.of.style, u know?   how can u not love piyo?!   so yellow, fuzzy, burdy!   she also got a pencil case.   well, we drove 'round, looked 4 angelcd on wilshire blvd., but didn't c it.   we stopped by a store that sold gifts n' cds/tapes.   they were expensive: cds were "regularly" $12.99 but were "on sale" 4 $9.99.   i get better prices from angelcd.   i know jerome sed his mom bargained down the prices of cds b4 tho', @ a k.town store.   then we went to kim's something something store.   it has all sorts of odds n' ends: some crate n' barrellish home/kitchen furnishings, some electronics, some fashion accessories, some cosmetics...   kaela bought lots'a stuff 4 her new apt.   n' then on our way out, that's when the attempted carjacking happened.   being the clueless norcali boy, i didn't know what was happening.   these 2 middle aged latino guys were @ the corner n' yelled something w/ a friendly tone.   i watched them.   i wasn't sure if they were talking to me or the security guard 'cross the street @ the kim's store parking lot...   they walked 2ward our buick w/ big, friendly smiles.   they looked like dayworkers, n' i thought they wanted to hitchhike or something, but then they got really close to the car.   kaela didn't c them coming cos she was making a turn, but i saw them the whole time but didn't worry cos they're just a coupl'a older, out.of.shape, non.threatening.looking guys w/ friendly smiles...   then they frickin' opened the backdoor n' tried to get in.   @ that pt. kaela saw n' floored the gas pedal, so they like fell off / out of the car.   she drove off.   the door was open, but it closed as she accelerated 'round the turn.   dang... l.a.!   so wow...   but kaela did the right thing: smart gurl.   from that pt on, when i made sure we always locked our doors, whether she or i was driving.   well, we went home, went to costco in her kia, had a quick dinner @ home w/ her mom, n' then got ready to go "clubbing" w/ sarah...   we had to stop @ ralph's 1st to get me some maalox.   then we stopped by walmart to get grippy stuff 4 the soles of kaela's shoes...   then we we got lost in south central l.a. on the way to the club.   oh yah, i had to use a bathroom in a carl's jr. in some really ghetto neighbourhood.   hrm...   like, i guess coming from berkeley, i'm not 2 unused to ghetto neighbourhoods, but i guess i shouldn't be naive, u know?   like, i shouldn't say, oh! i'll just walk 'round here @ nite, it's just like oakland, no biggie.   doo duh doo.

neway...   we got to miyagi's on the strip.   parking was $15, but cover was free.   traffic was awful.   i guess ppl were cruising.   miyagi's...   it's a lot like a big frat party, but it's @ a sushi restaurant.   it's nothing like sf clubs or ne club i'm used to.   they play rock/disco/funk classics n' a li'l bit of top 40 pop.   they don't mix the beats...   i don't even think they have a deejay, just a cd changer.   yet ppl don't mind @ all.   so we met up w/ sarah n' her ernst n' young friends.   we were there 4 such a short time cos it closes @ 130a.   k, so we... uh... left after that.   that's weird to say cos usually, when we go clubbing in sf, we dance 4 a long time, then we go to j.town denny's or somewhere 4 a while.   no, we dance 4 a very short time, then we went home...   'course it was a shame we got there so late.   well, i drove us home, but kaela fell asleep, n' i didn't know the full route home.   so i got us a li'l lost in chino.   i stopped @ a gas station, so we could use the bathroom.   then i would'a asked the gas station 4 directions, but kaela fell asleep, n' i was pretty tired 2, so we slept in the kia @ the gas station 4 a coupl'a hours.   i locked the doors, armed the alarm, n' kept the keys in my hand.   as far as i could tell, it wasn't a bad neighbourhood, n' we were right by the police station.   well, i napped 4 a coupl'a hours, then i resumed searching 4 kaela's house.   whadya know, i got there pretty quickly after that.   well... now we had 'nother prob: we were locked out.   kaela only had 1 of the keys necessary to get in.   well, we didn't bother; we just went back to the car n' went back to sleep.   then mr. kang found us in the morning n' let us in.   kaela's mom was so freaked to hear that we were asleep in the car on the driveway.   i felt bad, so i apologised to kaela's dad, but i guess things were okay; they were just glad we were ok, n' wanted us to go to sleep in proper beds instead.

so we slept till noon or so.   then we got ready to go shopping.   i wanted to c southcoast plaza in costa mesa.   we had some fud w/ kaela's family.   mrs. kang was rolling kimbap @ the eating table n' we had that, miso soup, n' mandoo/gyoza/guoteh.   we went to ontario mill.   we bought sunglasses 4 each other from the sunglasses outlet; they were belated 4 mo. anniversary presents.   we shopped 'round...   we had to budget our time.   then we drove thru placentia.   kaela showed me her old house n' stuff like that.   she showed me schlotzky's deli.   c, ed park told me his parents used to own a schlotzky's.   i wasn't sure if he was joking or serious.   i guess he was serious, but he sed it so nonchalantly.   the old schlotzky's in berkeley had just opened up, n' we passed by, n' we talked a li'l 'bout schlotzky's, then ed sez to me n' vince that his parents used to own a schlotzky's... but he sed it so calmly... n' why didn't he mention that 1st?!   so we didn't believe him.   but i dunno...   neway, kaela just sed that she ate there w/ her dad 1nce, n' they talked 'bout her career.   i didn't get to c her hs, un4tunately.   well, that was placentia; then we were off to southcoast plaza.   stuff was closing up tho'.   we just barely got to look @ a few stores.   i bought a polo shirt n' boxer briefs from structure, sale stuff; n' they give u free sunglasses w/ a $25 purchase...   well, i already just got a nice pair.   well, southcoast was nice.   'tis nicer than i remember it.   it's like valley fair w/ some more of those high class designer stores.   things i heard earlier made me think i was gonna walk into an indoor version of rodeo drive, but it's a li'l more like valley fair... or it's kinda like shopping in sf, by the fashion centre / union sq, u know?   well, after that, we had to hurry to garden grove to meet up w/ kaela's family @ a korean chinese restaurant 4 jay's b.day dinner.

so we went to "book kyuhng" or "peking" restaurant in garden grove.   we got there b4 kaela's family, n' kaela sed we should go ahead n' ask 4 a table 4 six...   she asked if i wanted to talk.   so... i had this interesting situation: should i talk in korean or mandarin?   well, it wasn't much of a question, cos kaela made a big pt of this being an experience in korean chinese fud, so it was s'pposed to be more of a korean experience, so: "yuhsuht myuhng" it was.   neway, the hostess knows kaela's family, so she ended up speaking to kaela n' not me after i made the initial table request.   yah, the hostess talked a lot to kaela's mom.   after she found it 'twas jay's b.day n' that kaela had recently graduated, she sent over some freebies.   mmmm...   was a really filling yet quickly eaten meal.   then kaela's family went to the korean market to buy all sorts of ramyun n' fud 4 the kids to take to skool, while kaela n' i went back home to get ready to go back to miyagi's w/ sarah.   well, we still got to miyagi's @ 'bout the same time.   we again were just there 4 a short time.   then we followed sarah back to her family's home in westchester, the nice community close to inglewood.   so we spent the nite @ sarah's place.

then 'twas sunday.   the 3 of us were to head down to meet up w/ linda kwon n' her bf dave.   we 1st luncheoned @ carl's jr.   lots'a greasy fried stuff.   i couldn't finish my supposedly "spicy" chicken sandwich... not spicy.   i felt stomach sick.   i've been feeling stomach sick 2 often lately.   i've been eating more than my stomach usually gets n' eating a li'l unhealthier than what it expects.   basically, my stomach hasn't been digesting well.   neway, i drove us down to sd from l.a.   sarah n' kaela caught up on old times, n' i knew sarah wanted juicy details 'bout kaela's new bf, right?   i didn't mind.   i told sarah to go talk to kaela in the bathroom when we stopped @ 76, so kaela could reveal all 'bout me in private w/o my presence.   well, we 'ventually made it down to ucsd.   the area was so familiar from my many trips to visit nelson.   well, linda introduced us to dave; i immediately thought he looked like this dude chris casey (he used to be in taekwondo, was going out w/ nancy vuong).   then we went to horton plaza / gaslamp district.   we just sorta browsed the mall.   i talked to dave.   we had some similar interests.   he did taekwondo, n' he knew john eing from hs.   i'm glad linda has a nice bf.   from meeting her back last september when she came to visit kaela, i thought she was a kewl person.   she always spoke so unflatteringly 'bout her bf, but i guess she was just joking.   so we walked 'round sd, then out on a cliff by ucsd, then went to dinner @ karl strauss brewery in la jolla.   then we called it a nite.   lots'a driving to do that nite to get home.

well, whad'ya know?   that brings us to mon morn; memorial day.   kaela n' i got ready to swim.   but then jeanna told us she had just finished cooking breakfast, so instead we ate w/ jeanna n' kaela's dad.   then we went swimming.   it was fun.   it was good to move 'round a li'l after being so sedentary (exercisewise) 4 so long.   well, after swimming n' showering, we packed up to go.   kaela had lots of stuff, lots of boxes of ramyun to bring up.   we had to swing by uci to get a garage door opener from jay.   we watched a diva n' a jo sungmo video @ jay's then left.   we stopped @ wendy's @ magic mtn to get a li'l fud.   we took a good number of rest area stops.   that baby quail thing happened.   then we finally got back into berkeley.   wow, what a vacation!   i got to learn more 'bout kaela's history, u know?   i kept telling her that i was so impressed that she's always been a kewl gurl.   like, she always sez she was "dorky" this n' that, but not really.   she was really popular n' active in hs.   that's really kewl cos she's still a really nice gurl.   ha ha.

so 2day, i'm still driving kaela's kia sportage, drove it to work.   she has to park it in albany, but we didn't have time to drop it off.   there's more parking by my apt than by hers.   well, 2nite's the 1st nite that i'll practice under master yoon's instruction @ ucmap.   i wonder how that'll be.   kaela went to work @ the department of health 2day.

really quickly,the beautiful kaela kang n' i r @ her family's place in chino this weekend.   we had a long drive down the 5.   we had a meal @ andersen's split pea soup.   it's great to be @ the kang homestead.   it's kewl.   ok, c u!   keep in touch!

"with the headlights pointed @ the dawn..."   smashing pumpkins' "1979."   phil wrote me an e.mail a li'l less than an hour 'go, entitled "june too soon."   i think it's in response to "summer is ready when u r," a breeders' quote i left in a post on the cal taekwondo party crew y! page.   summer is a fun time.   i really liked "1979" when it came out.   really did!   i have the import remix cd5, not the 1 most ppl have.   i think alice 97.3 used to play that mix when the station 1st started out n' was on autoplay.   *sigh*   yah, i like the smashing pumpkins.   music...   what's the song on the vw bug vapour commercial???   that song's kewl.

so i didn't write yesterday, huh?   well, lessee, i had to leave my office on time cos i had a ucmap mtg b4 the promotionals.   i had a mtg most of the workday.   i ate lots of round table pizza.   when i was a kid, we'd eat lots'a round table pizza.   i like their thick crust pizza.   i don't really like their cheese, 'specially after it's cooled down, n' u've tried to reheat it.   some1 1nce told me she detested laval's pizza cos they put cheddar on their pizza n' "that's just not right."   i don't 'member who it was, but i'm sure she was in taekwondo, but maybe not.   in ne case, i must say, "wurd" or "true dat."   i agree, yes.   rt pizza uses a 3 cheese blend: mozzarella, cheddar, n' provolone.   maybe i'd prefer a pizza w/ just mozzarella.   neway, whole milk mozzarella is fatt'ning.   howzabout we eat all nonfat mozzarella or soy mozzarella.   howzabout we use olestra in everything?   neway, rt pizza; i ate lots of it as a kid.   we also got pizza from stuft pizza n' bogey's pizza.   1nce in a while we'd go to piggy's pizza, which turned into li'l caesar's.   i always thought their pizza was of a slightly lower quality, u know?   when i was a li'l, li'l kid, we'd get pizza hut pizza.   that crust is so greasily buttery!   'tis like eating deep.fried pizza!   neway, 'nuff talk 'bout pizza.   i had some of those leftovers 4 2day's lunch.   'tis awful to eat so much bad.4.me fud.

u know? last week i took kaela to max's in corte madera.   i 4got to mention that, huh?   'twas good.   i had a chicken pot pie / caesar salad lunch special.   'twas wed of last week.   kaela had a warm brie n' vegetable sandwich.   'twas good.   neway, just sayin'.   hey!   round table pizza has a dinosaur shaped pizza 4 kids!   wow!   r.t. rex!   neway...   so what'sup?

last nite was the promo ceremony 4 taekwondo.   dr. min called kaela into the ucmap office.   she got her 1st keub, red belt w/ black stripe.   there was a bit of a mess.up in the grading earlier, n' things were really... i dunno... "bad," let's say.   but dr. min came back n' fixed all of that.   master yoon from sky martial arts is supposed to be our new permanent master.   i hope so.   he's a kewl guy.   he sez he's not going to be easy on us.   that's good.   i gotta get my butt back into shape.   i'm so fat n' outta shape!   *sigh*   after practicin' a li'l... i mean, well... owen n' i did a li'l light contact sparring.   he really helped me.   he had me spar him, but he'd only try to score w/ his left rear roundhouse.   it's good to practice like this sometimes, to try to develop strategies, knowing certain things 'boutchur opponent.   a good fight isn't a brawl.   neway, cal, owen, kaela, n' i dined @ steve's bbq afterwards.   ha ha, i haven't been there in a long time.   kaela n' i split a chicken bibimbap n' sobe.   kaela n' i went to long's drugs 4 a while afterards.   we looked @ lots'a greeting cards.

*sigh* sometimes i wish i could remember everything.   when i can't reember some li'l detail 'bout life, it sometimes really bugs me.   yah...   so i have an on.line journal, n' i try to record my life 4 posterity.   neway, 2nite, kaela's sister jeanna, kaela, n' i'll go down to san jo.   2morrow, we'll leave 4 chino hills.   we'll stay there till mon, memorial day.   i guess this very well could be my last journal entry 4 a long while, so please read thru some old journal entries if u'r bored.   ha ha.   n' please go watch some burds in some natural setting while i'm gone.

so how r u 2day?   no, that's not a rhetorical question.   i didn't just say it out of politeness.   i'm really asking.   let me know.   e.mail me.   i'd love to hear from u.

how am i doing?   ok.   this weekend was exhausting.   last nite, after dinner @ jade villa, some of us went to brandie's (which will soon be kaela's also.) n' watched the bachelor (deanna's friend has an extra role in there, 1 of the running brides.), while eating tons of junk fud.   jalapeño poppers, doritos, ruffles, sara lee poundcake...   stuff like that.   i dunno why we were all so into eating.   dinner @ jade villa was pretty filling, no doubt.   we ate really fast tho'; cos the fud came out really fast.

so... it's been a long weekend 4 beno.   i took fri off.   i went to sf 4 shopping: joon, kaela, n' me.   we went to the sf fashion centre n' union square.   'twas really fun.   i've been sorta trying to control my budget on things like clothes etc., so i didn't buy nething 4 myself.   we ate lunch @ panda express on the concourse of sf fashion centre.   i had never been to panda express.   kaela n' joon were surprised.   i guess i always assumed that the fud there'd be sorta bad, but actually, it's better than i expected.   i mean it's 'bout as good as those $1 chinese restaurants... which r now usually $1.10 chinese restaurants.   panda express had all sorts'a cute panda decorations n' pictures.   we passed by the build.ur.own.bear store, but i was glad kaela didn't notice it cos brandie already let me know that she was giving kaela a custom.made taekwondo bear 4 graduation.   cute.   (dang, i hope i don't say "cute" 1 more time in this journal entry!)   kaela got this sexy dress from guess.   it was only the 2nd store we looked @.   but the dress is really kewl!   we 1st looked in express, but both of us agreed that if she wore nething from express 4 her gradution dres, it'd guaranteed that some1 else'd be wearing the same dress.   i know the feeling.   doug, joon's roommate, has the exact same br grey, polyurethane covered coat that i have.   n' 'member when i had that black polyurethane covered jacket that dave n' jeff have?   n' howzabout when s.mike bought that kikwear jacket?   n' then s.mike had the idea that p.crew should have a uni4m... like we should all go out n' buy some 1 specific jacket, u know?   neway, shoppin' on fri: we took joon to get dress clothes.   that was fun.   in the end joon picked out a shirt, tie, slacks, n' shoes from macy's.   wow, what a shopping spree!

then fri nite, we had chals's b.day thing @ koko house.   that was fun.   lots'a ppl.   i saw some of toby's artists.in.resonance friends: judy n' jenni.   it was 1 of those 6 degrees of separation things.   well, it was a fun nite.   where was phil?!   geez, phil...   [later] neway, 'twas a merry, jolly time.   very happy to be celebrating chals's b.day w/ kaela by my side, u know that?   celebrations 4 more fun w/ kaela there.   who else was there?   chals, sandy, sandy's friend evelyn, her friend judy, sam, sung, deanna, mike sia, brandie, joon, collin, andy, erin... chals's sister n' her bf were there 2, but they sat @ 'nother table 4 some reason.   but she kept sending fud n' drinks over to our table.   we had lots'a fud.   afterwards, i met kaela's li'l bro jay.

sat, we did supermike's grad thingy, then i met kaela's parents.   her dad n' i sat on her bedroom floor n' talked 4 a while 'bout all sorts'a stuff.   really, this guy is really interesting.   he told me 'bout his life history, education, career, taekwondo... he talked 'bout how he really trusts his kids to make the best decisions in life 4 themselves.   i know he told me a lotta stuff that he's never told kaela.   'course, he also asked me 'bout my career plans n' education.   ne parent would, right?   her mom still hasn't talked to me much yet tho'.   well, i'm gonna go down to socal w/ her, leaving on thurs.   kaela's family n' i went to brother's in sf.   the fud came out really fast, n' it was really good.   kaela n' i both had stomach aches since lunch.   we stopped in the cala foods on geary to use their restroom.   i bought a liz blizz sobe.   b4 we went to dinner, kaela n' i stopped by jo.ann's fabrics to get "fuzzy things," also known as "pom poms," to put on her graduation cap, also known as a mortarboard.   her mortarboard was so...   burdy burdy fuzzy fuzzy!   piyo piyo!   it was awesome.   i wish i had had such a kewl mortarboard when i graduated!   i just left mine plain...   nuts.   c, that's more inspiration to go to grad skool!

do u remember the episode of "nine-oh" right b4 my hs graduation?   i didn't actually c it, but every1 was talkin' 'bout "donna martin graduates! donna martin graduates! donna martin graduates!"   the chant.   so now we can chant 4 kaela.   "kaela kang graduates! kaela kang graduates! kaela kang graduates!"   kaela graduates 2day.   she's very smart.   wow, she's also gonna be presenting an award to a prof @ the graduation.   pretty kewl.   i never got to do nething like that...   wait till u c her graduation dress.   she looks really fine in it!   *sigh*   wait till u c.   neway, it's just hours b4 she's ceremoniously a college graduate.   double major!   mcb n' psych.   we're going to her mcb graduation.

well, quickly, i'll also get my 2nd 'bout not unimportant announcement out: happy b.day chals!   chals turned 22 on fri (19.05.00).   yes.   we had a party @ koko house on fri nite.   that was very fun.   *sigh*   funtimes.   good time.   nuthin' but good love.   "these r days we'll remember."   joon, kaela, n' i gave him a polo sport gift set.

u know what?   i got more announcements: supermike gets his master's degree!   yah, we celebrated supermike's graduation yesterday.   ah, such a festive time.   darlene, deanna, n' mike sia decorated his car n' room w/ all sorts of supermike stuff.   they wrote all over his windows of both his car n' room, n' stuffed some 140 balloons in his car.   they went all out.   'twas totally kewl!   yah, we went to his graduation n' cheered 4 him.   then supermike's dad took us out to irrawaddy 4 a big, delicious lunch.   oh, was so stuffed!   'twas kewl to c supermike n' his dad fight over the bill.   wow, what a good son!

as i speak, sandy huang is graduting from haas.   i'm gonna go there soon.   i've been making it a bad habit to skip all the speakers @ graduations n' just go n' cheer.   hrm...   i wanna get a boat horn.   neway, i should get outta here.

lessee...   i have lots to talk 'bout, but i'll get to it later.   i met all of kaela's immediate family now.   ha ha.   i'll tell u more later.   i helped joon moved...   i'll tell u more later, i guess.   ok, i'm gonna bust outta here so i can go c sandy graduate.

2day, 5 ppl from my company went to tour industrial light n' magic, or "kerner co. optical research," as they say.   andy hendrickson used to work 4 our company, n' he gave us a tour.   andy was the guy who hired me.   he also worked @ ilm b4 he came to our company.   so the next big movie is the perfect storm.   they'll soon work on star wars 2.   i saw this model they made 4 this las vegas hotel that's s'pposed to be a 30 story tall island volcano.   i think it's called aries island or something.   it looks kewl.

well, 2day kaela finishes her last final of her undergraduate career.   i really hope she feels better after it's done.   u know, that asian mahir-ish guy i showed u yesterday?   liane says he's an hk actor.   oic. (oh, i c.)   so i'm gonna take 2morrow off.   dang! my company's gonna have an "off.site" @ a napa valley vineyard, but i'll miss it.   *sigh*   oh well.   2day i'm driving kaela's 1989 buick lesabre cos albany ford subaru is tunin' up my subaru.   i'm still sore from workin' out earlier this week.   i wonder if i'm gonna meet up w/ ed park 2nite.

i had a good werkday yesterday.   i came home nice n' early n' full of energy.   i didn't nap.   i called up albany ford subaru n' made a service appt 4 thurs; i'm gonna drop off my forester 2nite @ 700p.   toby's to cut my hair 2nite.   so yah, i went in to practice right after that fon call.   i was so proud that i didn't nap.   there were some lower belts waiting 4 me to open the room.   sally, kevin, n' master lim were having a mtg in the ucmap office.   sally told me to get dressed b4 she'd open the martial arts room door 4 me, so i did.   n' so i got on the mat, n' ppl practiced.   i led some paddle drills.   kaela tried to surprise me @ my apt, but li'l did she know that i skipped my nap.   neway, she found me @ the martial arts room.   master lim talked to us.   he's gonna come to kaela's graduation.

neway, i'm really frustrated w/ the authorities of ucmap.   this is an organisation that i've become so involved in.   i mean, shoot...   i've gotten so involved in taekwondo.   but i gotta remember that taekwondo .ne. ucmap.   (.ne. = "does not equal.")   i really love taekwondo.   i've been saying this a lot lately: taekwondo... it's something where u werk hard, n' u benefit.   as i sed b4, "sometimes u practice a lot, n' u gain a lot.   sometimes u practice a li'l, n' u gain a li'l.   then sometimes u practice a lot, but u only gain a li'l.   but u still gained something."   sometimes u practice, n' u don't necessarily visibly improve, but @ least u didn't regress, u know?   u keep ur skillz in tune.

taekwondo.   why do i do taekwondo?   it makes me feel better; i feel it's something i need.   addiction? maybe.   taekwondo is a sport n' martial art.   i'd believe that most ppl start taekwondo, originally w/ the intent to learn a martial art.   oftentimes, it's 4 self.defense...   i dunno, if u don't learn a martial art 4 self.defense, then what 4? so u can bully ppl 'round?   i dunno.   here's something i believe 'bout martial arts, 1 of my primary beliefs: k, assume a violent situation.   assume u have 2 ppl.   each person has some physical characteristics/specifications.   he/she is so buff, so agile, so quick, so flexible...   n' then each person has some skillz.   n' these 2 things r what'll win the fight, u know?   i mean, a big, big guy can beat up a li'l guy.   but if the li'l guy has skillz, then maybe he can beat up the big, big guy.   but if the big, big guy has skillz 2, then he'll beat the li'l guy up.   but if the li'l guy has even more skillz, then he'll beat the big, big guy up still.   u get it?   maybe this way of thinking 'bout violent confrontations come from my days of playing dungeons & dragons n' mud.   i used to play end of the line (eotl) mud, run from a stanfurd server. ... [later] ... so neway... i think hrm...   taekwondo, even if u r a taekwondo athlete... i think a taekwondoists primary goal should still be self.defense.   i know this is sorta contrary to the whole olympics movement... but not really.   u know i really support wtf sport taekwondo... [even later] but ppl shouldn't ever 4get that it's based upon a martial art.

neway, why do i do taekwondo?   cos i have concern 4 my well.being.   i want to take care of myself.   i want to take care of my body from "natural" harm as well as from some stoopid dumbphuc that would want to start sumpthin' up...   "natural" harm means like heart disease n' i dunno... bad things that happen to u when u just eat junkfud all day n' don't exercise but just sit @ a computer n' chat on.line n' download porn n' software cracks.   yah, that's the lifestyle i avoid by doing taekwondo.   protecting myself from stoopid dumbphucs, that's self.explanatory.   also i want to develop my mind/soul/whatever.u.call.it.   i want to let myself know what i can achieve.   yah, when u do taekwondo, well, shoot.   u know u'r @ least capable of something...   i guess, basically, "destruction" of some sort.   sure, ne1 can punch n' put a dent in a car door or kick a doggy n' make it mad @ u...   that's not my pt.   my pt is that practicing taekwondoist constantly gauge what their bodies r capable of doing.   n' so we better know, in that sense, what