the beno journal

previous installments of the beno journal :

the beno journal, 1998-2000
the beno manifesto, pt. ii
the beno manifesto

ladies n' gentlemen, boys n' gurls! will u now please follow me to the beno journal, 2002 edition!!!

sorry 4 not updating yesterday.   i've had a dilemma: i need to start a new file 4 the new 2002 yr.   i can't keep writing in "journal2001.html"!   hrm... well, actually, i guess, i could easily start a new file n' just change the opening frame n' the menu link, right?   'member, i wanna make my journal more palm os friendly, more mobile device / pda friendly. hrm...   *sigh* well, we'll c.

ok, well, *sigh* should i update or werk on a new file?! :-( dunno!

[later] 528p: so last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i were gonna go eat jjangjangmyuhn @ yeitnal jjajang, but they were closed, so we went to koryo sootbool instead.   i ordered dolsot bibimbap, n' kaela had mandoogook.   those r really run of the mill dishes, but eh! we just wanted fud; n' those r also pretty cheap things there.   afterwards, we went to pusan plaza n' did grocery shopping.   we bought lots'f stuff.   i wasn't very hungry 2day.   i brought a pack of kimbap from pusan plaza 4 lunch.   i sort'f slowly ate it thru.out the day.

648p, taipei time: we're waiting 4 our delayed flight from taipei to vancouver.   we're leaving taiwan n' we'll miss it. :'-( it's wed(nesday).   last nite, after my uncle n' dad took us out 4 some sightcing in northern taipei, the beautiful kaela kang n' i ventured out onto the taipei streets on our own.   we walked to sogo.   we looked @ 4mal chinese dresses.   my mom's sister recommended a designer long di.   we found the dept, but knew we wouldn't be buying nething on the spot, u know.   then we walked back to drop film off @ the tong.li film store we always use.   then we walked from chunghsiao rd to jenai rd n' then to hsin.i rd, searching 4 the nite market my dad took us to earlier.   we bought boba tea @ a shop on guangfu rd.   we gave up looking 4 the nite market in that direction n' headed back 2wards chunghsiao rd.   i saw rose records n' went downstairs to a store that looked small but hip.   i bought 4 2cd sets of korean musik, n' kaela bought a japanese cd.   i already bought 1 chinese cd the day we toured taida; i paid 2 much 4 that 2cd set @ eslite.   we decided to look 4 fud @ the sogo fud ct or else the ming yao dept store fud ct.   we didn't c ming yao, so we went back to sogo.   oh yah, on the way, i picked up my fotos.   we wanted to sit somewhere, eat, n' look @ pics.   we went to the basement fud ct of sogo, n' i got myself into 'nother weird situation cos i understand/speak more taiwanese than mandarin: kaela saw a pic of some soupy dish she thought she'd like.   i approached the counter, n' a woman employee sed sumpthin' to me in mandarin i didn't understand.   then i pted to the pic n' asked in taiwanese if they had that dish.   then the woman replied in taiwanese, 'we hafta go home n' rest!!!'   upes.   so sogo was apparently closing 4 the nite.   so early!   we wandered the streets n' alleys.   taiwanese ppl or asians in general dress better on avg than americaus, i tell u.   neway, we found this hole in the wall place that was just 'bout to close.   they were out of my 1st choice of dishes, ba gee tang or ro wan tang; so we both ate this rice, soy sauce egg (lo nen, lou dan), dried pork (ba so), cucumber dish.   it was simple yet good n' cheap.   we went to sev.o (7.11) to buy some drinks: i bought a pocari sweat 4 myself n' a yoplait yogurt drink thingy 4 kaela.   i also bought some skewered fishcake (odaeng) balls.   we sat @ a table outside the sev.o.   (who actually calls 7.11 "sev.o"??? *shrug* it's just that some volume of the leland hi shool yearbook claimed that leland kids do.   uh, i dunno, man; i don't think i actually ever heard a leland student or alum say "sev.o.")   we were tired n' went back home.   that was actually tons'f walking.

this morn, we went to our usual breakfast spot.   yesterday kaela didn't wake up 4 breakfast, but i bought her some fud n' brought it home.   1 of the younq male employees there noticed, figured out the situation, n' mentioned it to us.   funny.   my dad took a pic of us w/ him on kaela's elph.   yesterday, i was s'pposed to get kaela an order of "salty" soybean milk to go.   my dad told me the mandarin name.   the quy misunderstood my mandarin n' gave me sweet soy milk.   if i had ordered in taiwanese, i would've gotten what kaela wanted.  

after breakfast, we took the bus to the hospital.   this was the last hospital visit of the trip.   i know my grandpa felt emotional 'bout it.   i could c his eyes got a li'l bit'f tears.   he wrote in chinese 'have a happy marriage.'   he took my hand in his left hand, kaela's in his right, n' put my hand on kaela's.   i felt he was blessing our future marriage.   i felt a li'l... i dunno choked up, i guess; but i held it in, of course.   we sed we'd come back to c him 'gain in taiwan sometime, n' we sed goodbye.

uncle "jeff" picked us up from the hospital.   we toured city hall's surprisingly interesting exhibits.   then we tried to have lunch @ a buffet restaurant.   it was closed.   we tried to eat @ pizza hut, but it was also closed.   my dad sed we could get bento/bendnq/doshirak boxes from sev.o 4 40nt$ each.   well, they were out.   neway, i was wondering where we would've sat.   that sev.o; like most sev.o, but unlike last nite's sev.o; had no table or seats outside.   we found a chinese restaurant nearby that my dad sez's "economical," not "cheap."   afterwards, we went home to finish packing n' take some pics.   uncle "jeff" drove my dad to the airport bus, came back, n' drove kaela n' me to the airport w/ our 2 suitcase n' 2 "check.in" boxes.   ah.mah gave us boxes n' told us to check.in our clothes in boxes n' fud in our luggage.   she gave us lots'f fud.   we met up w/ my dad @ the airport.   the air canada line was long, but we survived.   it's a full flight.   right now @ 827p taipei time, we're taxiing.   the airline put us in nonadjacent seats.   @ the gate, i talked to the eva air hostess, n' she was nice 'nuff to page a passenger n' ask her to switch seats w/ me.   @ 1st the hostess thought i wanted her to like 4ce the woman to switch seats, but i told her i'd ask the passenger myself, but "i don't speak good chinese."   maybe it would've been more proper to say "i don't speak chinese well." *shrug* shouldn't i avoid putting adverbs @ the end of a sentence? *shrug* again.

air canada; i don't love air canada.   i'm sure i would've preferred to fly on eva.   834p, taipei time: we're ascending in the air.   *sigh* what a trip!   i can't believe it's over, n' i gotta go back to werk! :-( :-( :-( !!! i can't believe i gotta go back to ridiculously overpriced, inferior fud in marin county, as opposed to good, cheap fud in taipei!!! >:-( grrr!

[later] 1056p, taipei time: we just watched atlantis.   that was the 3rd time kaela n' i saw that movie! 1st w/ her family, next w/ friends, n' then this time on the plane.   i gotta go use the restroom.   we had a decent dinner.   i had this asian.ish, fusionish duck w/ rice, bok choy, n' orange sauce.   kaela had some sort of chinese chicken.   the in.flight magaziue realcy isn't very good, pretty lame.   this is 1 super.long wed(nesday), since we're going back in time on this flight.

[later] 527p, pst (pacific standard time): we're in the vancover airport.   since our taipei to vancouver flight was delayed by like an hr, we had to miss our original connecting flight here.   we got here @ like 241p, but our next flight doesn't leave till 715p.   security 4 the baggage check.in took a very long time, but that's cos we've now already taken care of all the u.s. customs stuff.   they thoroughly searched our baggage n' gratuitously complimented kaela's stuffed mashimaro in a baby bottle coin bank.   all the employees were female n' loved the mashimaro, saying it's so cute etc.   i'm sittin' @ big apple bagels where kaela n' i had dinner: bagel sandwiches.   kaela's comin' back from the bathroom now.   [later] now we moved seats; we're sitting closer to our departure gate on a bench near this airport bar.   these computer nerd yuppie guys in the bar r talkin' 'bout large scale bizness data storage.   the bar is full of male bizness travellers.   dang, i'm glad i don't live that kind of life!!!   i'd hate to be a travelling salesman, whether it be in teknikal/engineering sales or otherwise.   man, it just ain't the life 4 me! :-p *sigh* but yah... i do wish i made more $$$. :-(   $, $, $...   i didn't make ne major purchases in taiwan.   shoot! i was all spent b4 we left 4 taiwan!   whoot, the economy cms to suck (n' blow @ the same time) in the us.   still, this economic hardtime's felt all over the globe, right?

*sigh* well, shoot; i've been saying 4 quite a while now that the biggest advantage to living in 'merica is the variety of int'c culture!   being able to eat good korean fud n' good taiwanese fud in the same area, as well as good indian, latin.american, thai, french, italian, greek, persian, vietnamese, burmese, spanish fud... all that good stuff!

u know what's wrong w/ the world 2day? society! :-) ha ha ha uh, whuh? u know what's wrong w/ america 2day? the biggest prob, i say... professional athletes r paid 2 much!!!   if i'm hafta watch mainstream 'merican sports on tv, i'd prefer to watch collegiate sports.   still, i'm not much into 'merican futbol, basketball, baseball, or boxing.   these pro athletes in 'merica r paid 2 much!   that's what's wrong w/ 'merica 2day! also, what else is wrong is how much jim carrey, the cast of friends, n' britney spears get paid.   personally n' honestly, i don't have nething 'gainst these specific entertainers; but they're all overpaid!!!   'mericans should watch less tv n' pro sports n' read more web journals! :-) ha ha ha. supportchur local skateboarder n' snowboarder! :-) i write 2 much n' read 2 li'l!

1245a: it's late @ nite, but i'm awake.   the beautiful kaela kang's passed out, but i'm awake.   i've been studying maps'f taipei.   i'm trying very, very hard to understand the geography.   i took a shower, brushed my teeth, etc.   there's lots'a city ambient noise 'round here.

2day we went to the cks (chang kai shek) memorial.   we looked 'round the museum a bit, then went "upstairs" to watch the changing of the guards, similar to what we saw yesterday @ the sun yat shen memorial.   man, i hate these mosquito bites!   after we walked 'round the memorial a very li'l bit, we went to this big tourists' gift shop.   i took a big liking to the artwerk of a guy named max liu.   he draws some cute, modern art burdies.   i bought 1 print of a painting w/ 2 parent burdies n' 2 baby burdies.   he also has a kewl painting of 2 burds in love snuggling.   i like that 1 very much 2, but kaela n' i hope to someday have 2 kids, so we think the burdy family print'd be sort'f befitting of that.   well, our uncle "jeff" picked us up n' drove us thru some older, more "historical" areas of taipei, including the site of the origin of the 228 incident, the infarously historical event that has really shaped taiwanese politics, etc.   then he took us to carrefour, a costco.ish superstore.   we bought a few things n' ate a li'l n' went home.

chris ("photon" @ bronx's) had just arrived to meet us.   he came in, n' we sat, chatted, n' rested our feet a li'l.   then we went to the pacific corp mall, the biggest mall in asia, some 14 or 15 stories!!!   we toured the mall like tourists.   kaela n' i took so many pics.   the locals must've thought we were weird.   nah, it just opened this week n' is quite a sight, so it ought to be understandable.   neway, they prob'ly knew we were just tourists.   the local shoppers dress so well.   we ate dinner in the basement fud ct.   kaela ordered this soondubu noodle soup @ a taiwanse style korean restaurant, quite a common sight in taipei.   kaela told chris to tell them to make it medium spicy, but it was 2 spicy 4 her, so she gave it to me.   chris helped her order neuro mien somewhere, n' chris ordered mcyukyuk's.   i kinda wanted to try mcyukyuk's curry burger here.   the fud ct had sooo many choices!   after we ate, we took the mrt to kungkwan, back to the taida area, 4 a nite market.   chris knows a place to buy 100nt$ pirated cds. kewl, but i didn't buy ne.   i should've.   then we went back to our home neighbourhood.

we searched 4 a store to buy that plum syrup stuff that taiwanese moms give theib kids 4 a cough since kaela's been coughing nonstop.   we couldn't find a drugstore, but we saw the nearby pet store.   we went in, so kaela could hold a labrador puppy.   we watched this very, very, very intereting chihuahua n' mop dog puppy duo!!!   they'd wrestle.   the mop dog puppy's quite a bit bigger.   i cheered 4 the small chihuahua puppy.   when they saw me, they quit wrestling n' started standing up 'gainst the plexiglass door near me instead.   then they quickly lost interest in me n' resumed wrestling.   the mop dog was clobbering the chihuahua.   then kaela n' chris came over to watch 2.   after a while, the chihuahua was actually winning!   he pinned the mop dog!   then he ran to the other side of the cage n' took a dump! :-) funny dog!   then they both sniffed it.   then the mop dog acted like he was gonna take a dump but didn't.   then they started wrestling 'gain w/ the li'l chihuahua winning most'f the time.   we left the store, but continued watching from the outside.   the puppies'd wrestle but then occasionally stop either to harrass n' taunt the beagle next door or jump on their hind legs to try to get the attention of 1 of the werkers there.   what a funny duo! :-) *sigh* i tell u: if some1 buys either of those 2 he/she'd ought to buy both!!! [later] 936a: 4 some reason, even tho' we didn't stay out late last nite, kaela can't really wake up this morn.   my dad n' i went out 4 breakfast w/o her, but i bought her some fud to go.   un4tunately, the server misunderstood my mandarin, so he got my order kind'f wrong.   *sigh* should've ordered in all taiwanese instead of 0.5/0.5.

this morn, kaela n' i both woke up @ the same time laughing cos'f our dreams.   it was very weird!

933a: we're so late this morn; i'm sure my dad'll be unhappy.   well, i haven't had much time to write these past 2 days cos'f we've been bizzy n' i was sick.   yesterday, @ taida, i used my 1st squatty potty!!!   up until now in my life, having been to taiwan, korea, n' hong kong, i'd never had to use a squatty potty!   yesterday, my stomach felt so bad, i had to use it.

there's 'nother great story from yesterday @ taida, but i should let the beautiful kaela kang tell it!   well, if she doesn't, then i will, i think; but i'll 1st give her a chance.   it's more her story.

@ the shilin nite market, there were so many pet stores!   we saw so many puppies n' quite a few kittens.   i 'member america used to have pet stores in malls, but they've pretty much all disappeared now.   i guess most americans believe they can only get healthy pets straight from the breeder or the puppy farm.   maybe so; those american pet stores didn't look so healthy, i guess.   usa has lots'f pet supply superstores like petco or petsmart.   2 bad pets.com became such an infamous failure.   we all loved the puppet n' the slogan "cos pets can't drive," or whatever it was.

so my mom's side grandma n' my mom's older sister say they'll come to c me n' kaela's wedding. :-) that makes us happy!!!   hrm, isn't it interesting that my grandpa likes watching those a-mei concerts?  a-mei n' her companions look so happy n' vivacious, i guess.   the caretakers let me push his wheelchair but then they took over cos they sed i was going 2 fast.   i thought he'd have more fun that way.   i knew the caretakers'd go slow.   *sigh* well... i hope i wasn't being unsafe, but i guess slower's safer.   1 caretaker's a young indonesion woman, n' the other's an aboriginal taiwanese woman, an older woman, like middle.aged, i guess.   neither speak taiwanese, 'least not our kind'f taiwanese.   they both speak mandarin, but the indonesian gurl doesn't talk so much.   actually, on sun nite she came home to our place, where she has a bedroom, n' has been here most of the time, i think.   i think she helps my grandma clean etc.

1004a: *sigh* we're in so much trouble w/ my dad this morn cos we're taking so long to get ready. *sigh*

1008a: i have several mosquito bites now.   is it good to put some of ur saliva on them?   my mom told me that when i was a kid, n' some1 on bronx's concurred.   i think some1 else sed u should put soap or soapy water or sumpthin' on them. *shrug*

1158p: yesterday, i developed some really bad stomach prob by the time we met up w/ my mom's side of the family.   ugh! :-( i was very happy to introduce my mom's side of the family to the beautiful kaela kang.   my dad then took us to the biggest temple in taipei, but i couldn't appreciate it much cos'f my stomach probs n' the heavy incense smoke.   then we walked 'round some, then went to the hospital.   my grandpa was exercising n' watching an a-mei concert video.   that's funny n' kewl that my grandpa watches these taiwanese pop concerts.   then we took him on a wheelchair ride 'round the floor n' let him watch the elevated train pass by.   then we went home.   i was sooooo sick!!! :-( we skipped out on sat nite n' just slept cos i was so sick.

this morn, i woke up n' found mosquitos our room! ugh! *sigh* my dad took us to the sun yat sen memorial n' the 228 memorial park n' science museum.   then we came back home.   kaela's friends anderson n' william came to meet up w/ us.   we ate lunch @ a nearby noodle joint.   then we went to taida.   william graduted from there n' gave us a great tour. :-) we ate dinner @ this hrm... fusion.ish café& joint.   i treated 'em out 4 showing us 'round.   it was pretty fancy n' good but cheap!   they sed 'twas cheap cos it's near the university.   anderson had to go, but william took us to the hsilin nite market.   man, it was kewl.   huuuuge!!!!! we saw some pet stores w/ cute, fuzzy animals.   what an exhausting but fun nite!   it's now 120a, 2002.01.07. *sigh* i should've started a new entry!

805a: we didn't wake up soearly this morn.   my dad just gave me a "wake up call" on the cordless fon intercom.   2day, we're s'pposed to c my grandpa, then walk 'round downtown taipei, i think.   we're s'pposed to go to some costco.like store, eithr carrefour or rt mart; i think that's what it's called.   then we might have a burthday party 4 my cousin tony.   dunno exactly.   it's been a fun trip so far, no doubt.

i really like taiwan.   really, ppl just cm so much more good.natured here than in the u.s.   n', heh, everything's so cute! hahaha. it's as if there's legislation requiring everything to be cute!   i think it's kewl! not so much of an "i'm so insecure 'bout my manliness so i can't have cute bumble bees on my construction truck" sentiment! :-) seriously! this cement mixer truck had the cutest bee as its compang logo! a bee wearing a construction hat!   u never c such cute stuff in usa; everything's gotta be so "dignified" n' boring. bleh!

the fud's 2 delicious here!   2 much good fud.   after my 1st trip to asia, i came back thinking asia's so much better than usa!   yah, i'm starting to develop those feelings 'gain.   it's like, "why do i hafta live in usa?!" ha, sounds like a spoiled brat whining, right?   nah, i know, even tho' asia is so fun, so hip, so kewl, so filled w/ great, intelligent culture... despite all that, i know, as i sed back after my 1st trip to asia, that there r some good things 'bout living in usa.   lemme tell u: i don't miss hamburgers! (i could always go to mcyukyuk's or bk even tho' they don't got in.n.out; n' i dunno if they have carl's jr.) i don't miss pizza! (i could always go to domino's.)   i don't miss american tv!   i don't really miss amerilan pop musik!   i don't miss american pop culture or 'merican fashion!   shoot, i say bullocks to all that phooey!!!!!   so what do i think i'd miss 'bout usa if i were to live in asia?   i'd miss good indian fud (in east asia).   i'd miss good mexican fud.   i'd miss good salvadorean fud.   i'd miss good middle eastern fud.   i'd miss good greek fud.   i'd miss watching the simpsons or the occassional good arthouse film, musik from kewl underground tekno artists or indie rock bands.   do u get it?!?!? i'd miss only non.mainstream american culture!!!!!   also, if i weren't in a cold area of korea or japan, i'd miss snowboarding like crazy! *sigh* so that's my story.

the beautiful kaela kang came up w/ the title 4 2day's entry.

[later] 1024p: 2day was a packed day.   lemme tell u: 2day officially wore me out!   we rode the bus n' train.   1st, we saw my grandpa n' walked 'round downtown.   then we took the bus n' "mrt" train to yangminshan park.   we walked 'lot.   we saw lots'f ferrell doggies.   we took lots'f pics.   we walked 'round 'lot.   on the busride home i noticed there were 2 korean gurls speaking korean.   kaela n' i thought it was very interesting.   we really should've asked them what they were doing in taiwan, etc.   we walked 'round a dept store.   then we took the bus home.

we fell asleep 4 a while then we had a b.day party 4 my cousin tony.   it was his 16th b.day.   he's so polite n' respectful!   kaela met me other cousins, aunts, n' uncle.   i finally called up chris.   wow! he sounds very bizzy w/ showbiz stuff!   we'll try to meet up w/ him on mon or so.   man, my li'l cousin henry's so hyper! crazy!

u know, it's so frustrating 4 me to deal w/ the taiwanese/mandarin issue: when to speak mandarin, when to speak taiwanese.   it's sooo frustrating.   2 much stinkin' politics!   from here on, i'll try to not care if i mix n' match the 2.   @ times on this trip so far, it's been like visiting 2 diff countries @ 1nce, 2ice the effort. *sigh* :-( !!! neway... i figure, it's always better to know more languages.   4 the most part, i feel much more com4table speaking taiwanese than mandarin.   yet still there r a few things i might feel more accustomed to saying in mandarin, maybe.   dunno.

we keep cing wedding stores.   i sort'f think it would've been a great idea 4 kaela to get a wedding gown here.   we both think she should get a chinese wedding banquet dress here.   it's just that no 1 can really help us. :-(

844a: last nite, after a day of sightseeing on the north coast of taiwan, we did a li'l shopping n' then ate in the fud ct under a cosmopolitan dept store.   my grandparents' place's right in the middle of the most fashionable part of taipei.   that't kewl; i like it.

this morn, we had...

[later] 944p: man, where did i leave off?! what a day! *sigh* did i mention we ate this scrambled egg stuffed shao bing @ our breakfast this morn.   argh! 2 much good fud.   hrm, i'm gonna be really fat when i get back, huh? haha *sigh* neway, we had a very full day.   we went to taichung/daidiung.   c, in mandarin, u can call this city taitsong or "taichung."   in taiwanese, u say "daidiung."   n' maybe i'm 1 of only a few ppl'd ever tell u this, but from the characters (hanja), u could call it "daejoong."   i'm getting very used to learning hanja by combining what i know of korean, taiwanese, n' mandarin... oh n' whatever i learned n' 'member from my hi skool japanese class.   neway we had such a full day.   we went to mr. n' mrs. chen's house.   mr. chen's taiwan beer's braumeister.   mrs. chen served us tons of fruit.   i'm 'membering how, when u visit asian households, they offer u so much refreshments etc.   mr. chen's a tea connaissouer n' brewed us some special tea.   then he took us to a fancy lunch @ a hakka restaurant.   u know what hakka ppl?   hakka ppl r a certain ppl that live in taiwan, a chinese ppl group, but not exactly from the area my ancestors came from.   phil's hakka.   my ex apt mate cathy's hakka.   after lunch, we drove 'round town n' walked 'bout a botanical garden.   the weathed was so unbelievably perfect.   seriously! u wouldn't believe it!!!   then we took a seriously v.i.p. tour of the taiwan beer brewery.   kaela kang n' i felt just a li'l weird cos we were 'mongst such important ppl.   after the tour we had a "tasting" session, which was quite an experience.   why? well, shoot! it was like having beer w/ our usual friends, in a way, but we were drinking w/ men quite a bit older than us.   neway, 'twas kewl.   after the brewery, mr. chen brought us to a ba won stand, the best in town; maybe the best in the world from what he sed.   well, yah, they were delicious; but we were very much not hungry.   then, after driving 'round jungshin university, we went back to mr. chen's house, where mrs. chen served us plenty of fruit, while mr. chen poured us more of his special tea.   we had a long, sleepy ride back north to taipei.   i realised that ppl don't cm to drive all that fast on taiwan's hwys; just lotsa city driving in taipei.   most cars, pretty much all cars have some dents n' scratches; but almost all cars r pretty new compared to 1s u c in the u.s.   oh yah, we stopped by a beautiful rest area on the way down to daidiung.   it had a beautiful park.   i could tell ppl had skateboarded there cos i saw waxed edges on the concrete where skaters must've grinded n' railslided.   i didn't c ne skateboarders.

1217a: well, 2day (as in yesterday, meaning new yr's day) was a very full day.   we woke up very early.   we ate raisin bread, buns, n' "ol' fashioned" soybean milk, which is less sweet than typical taiwanese soybean milk.   then our uncle "jeff" picked us up n' brought on a scenic route to my father's uncle's house.   on the way we saw my dad's family's old neighbourhood.   we then met this very artistic family.   my dad's aunt is a great painter.   my dad's uncle n' cousin do professional video editing.   this guy puts all the disney movies on dvd 4 taiwan.   his daughter n' son r both in paris studying art n' musik respectively.   crazy.   this family took us out 4 a lunchtime feast.   we had sooo much fud!   i had frog legs 4 my 1st time.   frog is sumpthin' btwn chicken n' fish.   it was deep fried n' pretty good.   we drove 'round 4 a while then went to c my grandpa.   we say "ah gong."

ah gong met the beautiful kaela kang.   it was very exciting!   he can't talk, but he can write a li'l n' make some hand gestures.   he got very excited when i sed kaela's studied some kendo.   he made some hand gestures imitating kendo.   i was very happy.

after the hospital, we came home.   i didn't think we could, but we fell into a deep sleep.   we ate dinner that my grandma cooked.   we say "ah ma" 4 grandma.   then we went shopping @ a nite market.   we looked 4 gifts 4 friends.   i bought some shampoo n' batteries @ watson's drugstore n' a mashimaro watch 4 kaela @ the nite market.   they have so much mashimaro paraphenelia.   we can tell if it's a good deal cos we can read the suggested retail price in korean n' convert it to taiwan dollars w/ my handspring.

[later] 105a: i took a nice hot shower.   i feel so clean!   it feels good.   so how's taiwan so far?   there's so much fud everywhere we look.   n' everywhere we look, there's so much shamelessly cute stuff.   i'm glad kaela's really enjoying that.   on our walk to the nite market, we passed by this puppy shop, very close to our grandparents' place.   yah, these puppies r very cute.   i'm very glad we got to c my grandpa yesterday.   we're gonna c him 2day 'gain.   i do wish he were still mobile.   last time i was in taiwan, he had so much energy n' took me to mcyukyuk's n' his office @ tai.da.   he's a professor emeritus there. [later] ~900a: so we're awake in the morn right now.   i dunno what's the plan 2day. *shrug* not much clue.   my dad sed either downtown taipei or a nat'l park: that's quite a difference! i didn't know whether to dress "stylish" or in clothes that can get durty.   well, really; i didn't bring much clothes.   i'm hoping i can get some here.   the dept stores n' clothes stores'll take mastercard n' visa, right?   oh, does kaela know she needs to turn the hot h2o on?   it's diff from the u.s. h that they use this hot h2o on demand system; there's no h2o heater tank.   hrm, what's the disadvantage to that?   it cms to beat running out of hot h2o after 1 shower like in our 'partment.   however, the on demand system cms a li'l inconsistent, only as much as the ol' hillegass apt's shower. *shrug* *sigh* did i mention that we really gotta take more pics?!   we really gotta!   hrm, i think i gotta trim my right thumbnail.   i took my nail clippers out of my shoulderpack n' left them in roland's car in case they'd cause trouble @ the sfo security check.   when we passed thru, i saw they had confiscated some nail scissors n' lighters.   kaela's done w/ her shower.

135a: well, we've been in taipei 4 a while now.   my uncle drove us w/ my dad from the airport to my grandparent's flat.   when we got out of the car, there was a cute, furry dog sitting outside the shop on the ground floor of the bldg.   i think it's a lingerie store or sumpthin'.   it was a very shy dog.   we went upstairs.   we saw my grandma.   my grandma met the beautiful kaela kang 4 the 1st time! :-)   kaela n' i napped.   then 'bout 20 mins till new yr's, my dad took us out to eat dao ling (do jang) n' shao long bao (li'l dragon buns).   then we went to the biggest new yr's party 1 could find in taipei last nite / this morn.   we watched singer ah.mei per4m.   it was kewl. [later, after a shower] i realised that my handspring's using up power faster than i expected, n' i didn't bring my charger.   i didn't think i'd need it.   i'm writing right now on kaela's handspring, which uses normal aaa batteries.   i'll beam this passage over to my handspring later.   dang, i should've brought my charger!

[a li'l later] i wonder if chris "photon" tou is in taiwan right now or 'merica.   since he didn't mention on bronx's that he's in the u.s., i think he's probably in taiwan.   i should call him soon.   i haven't gotten to use a 'puter w/ (or w/o) net access since we got here.   well, shoot! we've only been in taiwan 4 a few hrs now! *roll eyes* look how tech dependent i am! :-) @ the airport kaela tooh a pic of me in btwn 2 backlit billboards: amd athlon cpu chips n' gigabyte mobos.   those r what's in my 'puter! :-) ok, i should sleep now.   it's prob'ly past 200a now!   my dad sed he'd wake us @ ~1000a.

[later] 735a: good morning! :-) hrm, taiwan's much cooler (in temp/climate) than i expected. &nbtp; i kind'f wish i brought more clothes, but my dad told us to pack light.   well then; i hope we go shopping.   i wonder when we'll c my grandpa. ???   i guess we woke up much earlier than i expected.  i thought we'd have problems waking up by 900a.   i guess no problem. :-) i'm glad kaela's loving how shamelessly cute things r in taiwan! :-) all the cutesy animal mascots etc., it gives taiwan a very benign appearance.   i feel so safe here.   young taiwanese ppl cm soooo good.natured!   i have a hard time believinq ne of the kids ever get in ne trouble; but i mean that in a good way!   well, i'm excited n' really wonder what we'll do 2day.   i can't wait.   in some ways, i feel this trip is 2 good to be true.

i had several dreams lately.   while napping last nite, i had a dream i was doing taekwondo sparring on the snow covered, icy slopes: 1st i was sparring these 2 white belts that were in my me 107b (mechanicac engineering 107b) lab group w/ me.   uh, wow i was a bully, huh? :-) i did 540 back kicks 'lot.   then i was sparring jason han.   he fell n' slid down the mtn 'lot.   hrm, it's not like i expect to beat jason in taekwondo sparring netime soon!   weird dream!   i had other dreams.

i hope ppl'll read my journal entries from this trip.   i dunno how i should organise my journal when i get back! ??? i sed i'd redo the arrangement n' start a new journal file; but since this trip started over the new year's celebration time, i'm sort'f confused.   i don't wanna confuse my readers! hrm... maybe i'll actually duplicate these entries as part of last yr's journal file n this yr's.   it's 2002 now! can u believe that?!   our wedding'll be next yr! now when ppl ask when we'll get married, i can just say, "next yr."

i'm a li'l hungry.   i do eat 2 much n' exercise 2 li'l these days.   it feels like ages since i've been to the rsf!   i'm listening to yoo seung joon's gold disc 2 on kaela's nomad jukebox.   i actually uploaded this album to the jukebox as .wav files.   mrm, i'm hungry.   i think eating late last nite prob'ly's got my stomach all stretched out.   my grandma left some buns n' bread out 4 us, i think.   what should i wear 2day?! i don't have many choices.   i'm still writing on kaela's handspring.   she's done showering now.   ppl do dress well here, so i don't wanna be 2 much'f a slob!

well, due to special circumstances, u actually should start reading this entry as a continuation of the previous entry: "air canada".   please do so; thank u.

919p: well, the plane's passing to the east of japan right now.   a while 'go, we watched legally blonde n' had a chinese noodle meal.   i really like legally blonde.   'member? back in july i took the beautiful kaela kang to the drive.in to watch it, after dining @ a.p. stump's in san jo.   that was the nite b4 the bronx's junkyard get2gether.   hey, the flight attendant just collected our trash, n' she (a caucasian woman) was speaking mandarin.   good.   i was almost 'bout to remark that air canada doesn't cm very accommodating to asian passengers, but that was actually pretty good.   well, i didn't understand all she sed, but it sounded right.   i've been drinking so much liquid n' peeing so much on this flight.   when we land in taipei, i expect to c my dad n' an uncle or 2.   my dad has so many bros.   i have none.   even tho' i've had plenty of liquids, i haven't had much sleep @ all!   i thought i would've slept more on this flight, but sleeping hasn't been very com4table.   i've been listening to 'lotta musik, but i figure i'd give them batteries a rest right now.   ah, we'll be in taiwan in 'bout 4 hrs.   it's 933p (pst) right now.   maybe it's 'bout time to set my watch to taipei time.

lemme tell u: i was telling kaela how i'm visiting taiwan this time w/ a much diff attitude than last time in 1998.   (u can read 'bout my last trip in my old beno journal entry from 1998: "long vacation".)   last time i went to taiwan, i had a big superiority complex going in.   i thought, "i'm the big american born asian going to visit asia.   i'm so kewl!"   i was surprised to find out how li'l being an american really meant.   asian countries have much more self.respect n' dignity than i had realised back then.   they've got hip culture, n' they know it, n' they know they don't need american culture to validate them.   'least by the time i visited korea in 1999, i knew to visit asia w/ a more humble attitude.   i'm excited!

[later] 456p (taipei time): they served us some cup o'noodles.   we just filled out our disembarkment papers.   upes! we were s'pposed to use all caps!   ok, now i've set my watch to taipei time.   i'm so sleepy.   i wonder if my family'll wanna feed us 1st when we land or what.

it's 424a.   roland's gonna pick us up to drive us to sfo soon.   i'd better call n' wake him up soon.   i'm still sort'f last min packing.   why the heck am i writing here?! i should be double checking my bags!   yah, i'm crazy, huh?   heh, i just like keeping u'all updated! :-)   after i finished my previous entry ("cramming things in"), i took the beautiful kaela kang to lunch @ katanaya ramen.   then we did a li'l shopping @ target.   then we came home.   yesterday nite, we drove up into the oakland hills to dr. norman n' dr. susan link's home to pick up kaela's contacts from their mailbox.   susan left them in their mailbox 4 us to pick up.   ok, i really gotta get offline.   should i say happy new yr?

air canada

808a: we're on an air canada airplane.   we'll be taking off shortly from sfo to vancouver.   roland dropped us off @ the int'l terminal of sfo.   we didn't know that canada bound flights leave sfo from the domestic terminal.   no big deal.   it was a nice walk.   the security lines r really long!   we waited in a long line to go thru the security check.   armed guards patrol the airport, but i remarked to kaela that these were some of the most out.of.shape military guys i've cn.   neway, i feel right now i'm not 1 to talk. :-( i'm so sleepy.   @ the air canada gate lounge, i banged my knee on a coffee table. ow!   816a: oh, we're moving!

[later]1000a: we're landing in vancouver soon.   we passed over snow covered mtns, n' i wanted to go snowboarding.   i had breakfast on this flight.

[later] we're now on the plane to taipei.   vancouver airport was so beautiful!   they didn't stamp my passport.   i wanaed a stamp.   there were so many chinese ppl in the vancouver airport, some japanese ppl, n' a few korean ppl.   kaela bought a wedding magazine, in style's "weddings" issue.   well, we're on the plane.   i hear so much mandarin n' a li'l taiwanese spoken.   i'm a li'l hungry but only cos my stomach's so stretched out from eating so much these days.   we're listening to kaela's nomad jukebox.   it's kewl! :-)

[li'l later] 1246p: we still havsn't taken off.   i failed to mention yet that the flight was slightly delayed. [li'l later] 108p: ok, i think we're gonna take off soon!

[later] 403p: we watched america's sweethearts on the plane, an edited version.   'member, we already watched it @ bruce's place on fri nite, but i fell asceep that time.   wow we flying over alaska now.   i didn't think it'd take this long to get to alaska from vancouver.   we ate lunch a very short while 'go.   it was so.so.   so far, i think air canada's just a so.so airline.   i've definitely had better service/accommodations.   personally, i find the staff rather snobby. :-P

[later] 531p: wow, i've been travelling 4 a full werkday's time now, huh?   i can't believe so many ppl get to travel t asia from 'merica 4 bizness, u know?   it'd be kewl, i guess; but in the end i wouldn't want a job that requires travelling.   it's just that if i had to travel, i'd prfer to travel to asia, of course.   right now e sowing a hk movie called glass tears.   i've been sort'f watching it, but i'r noa even bothering to listen to the dialogue cos i can't understand it.   i'y reading the subtitles while listening to mp3s on kaela's nomad jukebox.   i went thru 1 sea of batteries already.   hk makes really good movies, wouldn'tchu u say?   i think we're flying over the ocean right now. [a li'l later] 558p: i think we're 'bout to cross the int'l date line soon.   ah, i just keep thinking 'bout all those snow.covered mtns i saw!   what would it be like to snowboard 'em?   well, it all be deep powder, ungroomed.   i'm not the greatest powder rider.   u know i'm more into freestyle riding.   i 4got to bring some magazines, but i did bring the gospel according to the simpsons, which grace n' steve gave me.   whoa! right now i'm listening to this modrock megamix i dled.   i just heard the old song "a different story."   i think it's by peter schilling.   i gotta burn batteries on the jukebox cos air canada has lame musik.   when legally blonde comes on, i'll try to watch it.   altho' i honestly love that movie, i know there'll be a good chance i'll fall asleep.   613p: the man 'cross the aisle from me asked me sumpthin' in mandarin.   i think he was asking 4 the time to set his watch.   i removed mine n' loaned it to him.   still i wasn't sure if he wanted pacific standard or taipei time.   man, really, my korean language skills r much better than my manparin or taiwanese. :-/ i'm gonna need to get very used to ppl speaking to me in mandarin w/o my understanding ne of it.   hrm, we haven't even 168ed in a while.   that's where i get the most practice speaking mandarin.

[later] 910p: now that we've passed the intl date line, i ought to start a new entry, huh?   ok, maybe so.   please proceed to "new yr's eve."

last nite, we went to bruce's house in oakley.   he owns a very nice house, n' i heard he got a very good deal on it a few yrs back; a very good investment.   bruce is brandie's bf.   i drove roland, laura, n' the beautiful kaela kang out to oakley.   bruce ordered some chinese takeout 4 us.   we planned just to chill, hang out.   so we announced to bruce n' brandie our engagement.   guess what. they're engaged 2! :-) kewl.   we watched america's sweethearts on dvd, but i fell asleep.   we played time crisis 2 on the psx2.

2day's a frantic, bizzy day of packing!   so much stuf i wanted to do but don't have time 4.   *sigh* lemme leave u w/ this:

events of 2001
• moving -> housewarming party
• cancun
• pt reyes -> roland's b.day
• napa -> erin's b.day
• my b.day -> cancun
• socal trips in summer
• layoffs
• teaching white belts
• buying kaela a snowboard
• hustle n' bustle of 2001 collegiates
• cousin lisa's wedding
• bjunkyard hangout
• 911 challenge
• christmas w/ tree
• getting handspring
• kaela's b.day -> digital elph
• 'puter upgrade / monitor
• ken's engagement
  
• lots'a $pending: monitor, 'puter upgrade (w/ mobo, modem, ram, video card), handspring,
• furniture, cancun trip, kaela's board
• losing snowboards
• (replacing kaela's snowboard)
  
• engagement

last nite, roland hosted the beautiful kaela kang n' i 4 dinner.   he cooked this great honey.mustard chicken dish n' potatoes, brocolli, n' salad.   he also made cheesecake.   yum yum! thanks, roland!   last nite, i was trying to install a d-link dfe 530tx+ fast ethernet card into kaela's 'puter, but it was really frustrating.   i didn't finish installing it.   grr!   i also was burning some musik cds on my 'puter.   why is it that even if we don't have taekwondo practice, i end up staying up soooo late??? in fact, maybe later!   *sigh* there's always stuff to do, lemme tell u!

well, the travel agent sent new plane tickets, n' i got them 2day via dhl express.   phew!   well, "have ticket, will travel," they say, right?   i'm having an extremely bizzy day @ werk.   not many ppl r here.   my boss told me he's ordering pizza 4 every1.   kaela told me this morn that she'll come over 4 lunch.   i told my boss i had plans 4 lunch w/ kaela, but he sed she can join us.   well, that's kewl. :-) company pizza.

[quite a bit later] well, it's afternoon now.   kaela came n' left.   we had our company pizza.   i ate 4 slices.   i surprised myself.   ;i thought i wouldn't eat so much grease, but oh well! *sigh* nuts!   i wish i could know that i'll be getting some exercise soon, but uhm, not likely, huh?   *sigh* the rsf closes @ 200p these days.   sat? yah, i dunno 'bout this sat.   oh, that 2morrow already. i c.   well, we've been looking 4 some places to have the wedding.   wow, what an experience!   so most of these places have all these pre.arranged packages, etc.   *sigh* i dunno... i dunno if that's what we're looking 4, u know?   u want to have a unique wedding, especially 1 that reflects our asian cultures!   still, we want a _nice_ location, a nice "venue," right? right.   lots'f planning ahead!

roland sed we might c lord of the rings 2nite.   i hope so.   i haven't watched a movie in a theatre since like thanksgiving weekend, right?   ah, we've cn many movies this yr.   hrm, @ the end of the yr, i like to talk 'bout what were good movies of the ending yr.   well, u'd think i'd talk 'bout what were good songs or albums of the yr, right?   eh, sometimes that just get 2 complicated!

what were some good movies this yr?

• monsters, inc. - who didn't like it?!
• rush hour 2 - k, some ppl prob'ly thought this was a li'l cheesy n' chopsocky still, but personally i that it was a good, fun movie!
• legally blonde - i thought it was "cute."   maybe u don't think it's a very serious movie, but i had fun.
• tomb raider - maybe u thought it was cheesy, overhyped, contrived, incomplete, etc.; but i still had fun. *sigh* i notice that i watched many movies this yr, but maybe many of them rn't like 1s that every1 simply loved 100%.   many movies were hyped big but disappointed harder.to.please audiences, i guess.

as i go thru my journal, i think those were some of the best movies this yr, i guess.   we saw lots'f movies.   i guess some honourable metions'd be: atlantis, finding forrester (hrm... maybe that ought to be in the top 4), bridget jones's diary, the score, kiss of the dragon (altho' it still has its problems), harry potter, moulin rouge... ok let's add to the top 5:

• moulin rouge
, n'
• finding forrester

is that ok w/ u? neway, these r my picks, right?!   i didn't like planet of the apes, that's 4 sure! yuck! stoopid movie!

*sigh* so it's time to reflect over the yr, eh?   *sigh* can u believe that?!   we spent last new yr's in disneyland w/ a bunch of taekwondo p.crew ppl.

[later, evening] dang, it's 722p now!   i'm still @ werk!   i had a very full day.   i feel accomplished.   this kind'f werkday makes me feel good.   still, dang! i gotta get home!   i officially introduced kaela to my boss n' our accountant, but i guess i didn't say nething like "we're engaged now."   maybe they saw her ring, maybe not; dunno.   well, it'd be nice to get paid more soon, so we'll have more $$$ 4 the wedding, but i know.... times r tight. *sigh* well, i feel optimistic.   sure, s.mike was pting out how the economy werks on a 4 yr cycle, so things'll get worse b4 they get better. *sigh* i dunno... there'll be ups n' downs 4 different ppl, i figure... li'l ups n' downs 'least...   of course, i hope things get better 4 me n' my company this coming yr.   hope so.   my manager's daughter made rum balls, n' he gave us some.   i didn't know that's what a rum ball is.   it's a fudge ball covered in powdered sugar.   it has some rum in the fudge.   they're pretty cute; li'l snow balls! :-) dang! i need to exercise! :-( what r we gonna do 2nite! it's getting late.   i gotta bust outta here!

thank u every1!   thanks 4 the engagement congrats.   thanks 4 the christmas wishes.   thanks 4 the christmas presents.   thanks!   thanks 4 reading my journal! :-)

[later] well, it's gonna be a very bizzy werkday here on a thurs b4 the fri b4 i take a long vacation.   eh! 9 days, is that a long vacation? *shrug*   it's 'bout right, right?   neway, i'll try to write some here n' there when i get a chance.

we had a good trip to chino.   we snowboarded, n' it was really fun!   on sun, as i sed, we went to snow summit in big bear w/ phil n' vicky (phil's li'l sister who goes to ucla).   so far we've snowboarded 4 days this season, eh?   i guess that's 'bout avg.   i think 1998 or 1999 were still my bizziest snowboarding seasons... that's 1998/1999 n' 1999/2000.   well, the beautiful kaela kang cms to like her new snowboard. :-) well, it's does have cute graphics w/ the sorceress n' dragon n' all, perfect 4 a women's board.   i think it must ride better 4 her since it's women's model as opposed to her previous board, which wasn't.   she cms to like it! :-)

on mon, christmas eve, we tried to visit as many socal friends as we could.   we made some complicated plans.   we picked up johnny from temple city, then we picked up supermike from his family's new temple city home, then we met up w/ phil in irvine.   we wanted to meet up w/ brandie, but she had a very bizzy day of christmas shopping, so she had to cancel since we were running way behind skedule.   johnny, s.mike, kaela, n' i went to tapioca express.   it was a chic boba place.   they had a humourous, witty sign in the bathroom: "our aim is to keep this bathroom clean.   gentlemean: yur aim is appreciated.   it is shorter than you think.   stand closer.   ladies: please remain seated for the entire performance."   i thought the sign was funny.   boba is cheaper down south.   *sigh* most stuff is cheaper down south.   it was a kewl boba café   we hung 'round irvine a while.   it took us a while to figure out where we were going 4 lunch.   1st, we went to a strip mall to get ca$h from an atm.   we left the 99 ranch plaza that the tapioca express café was in, drove to this "american" strip mall, got ca$h, then drove to the asian strip mall across the street from the 99 mall to look 4 a dimsum place.   this strip mall had a pond w/ some cute ducks, mallard ducks!   i loved how they were all paired off.   well, they were all heterosexual, apparently, so they were all paired off male/female.   3 couples! :-) i like stuff like that: happy couples.   i like ducks.   we looked 4 the dimsum place s.mike sed existed.   finally, he went into a boba café n' asked the woman there where we could find a dimsum place.   she sed the closest thing to a dimsum place 'round there was the sam woo restaurant across the street in the 99 mall.   *roll eyes* so we drove 'cross the street back to where we started! ha ha.   ah, ain't that the socal way? driving from strip mall to strip mall? ha ha ha.   neway, we had a good lunch: some dimsum some rice dishes.   ah, it was good.   oh, n' kaela n' i announced our engagement to s.mike n' johnny.   (phil already knew since the previous nite.   'member he treated us to dinner @ the soondae place?)   s.mike was pretty stunned.   he's had a gf 4 a few months now.   now he's starting to feel the "all my friends r getting married" feeling. oh boy, well, i don't wanna rush him.   he should just do it when he's / they're ready!   after loitering @ dimsum, we visited jay's (kaela's bro) laguna hills house, which he n' a few friends rent.   ah, it's like nelson's old situation @ ucsd.   he has 4 friends renting a big family house w/ him.   it's a beautiful, big track home in a family neighbourhood.   it's big n' relatively new house.   it has uhm... how many bedrooms? uh... i think 4.... 4 or 5, i 4get.   it's a beautiful house, n' well... i guess lots'f berkeley students'd be so jealous that they can't find housing like that newhere near uc berkeley. *sigh* neway, we hung 'round there 4 a long time.   it thought s.mike'd wanna get home, but he asked jay to burn a copy of the winxp cd 4 him.   that took a long time cos the cd reader was acting up.   johnny prob'ly was getting bored as we discussed economics, careers, n' teknology.   i hope it was somewhat interesting to him, but he's by far the youngest of us.   oh yah, phil didn't come w/ us to laguna hills.   he went home after dimsum.   neway, finally, the cd copied.   we drove from laguna hills to culver city to visit linda @ her werk (wold int'l), where she buys n' sells satellelite communication airtime.   she was stuck @ werk on christmas eve nite!   ugh!   we had a hard time even finding time to talk to her cos she was so bizzy.   we all felt so bad 4 her.   it got pretty late as we waited 4 her to find a spare second to talk to us.   well, eventually she found 'nuff time 4 us to tell her 'bout her engagement n' then take a pic w/ her.   her cowerker came in to join her, n' she took our pic.   well, it was late, so we left.   we dropped the 2 guys off in temple city, then left 4 chino.   the kang family had a turkey christmas dinner.   we ate pretty well.

christmas day: we went to mountain high ski resort w/ the whole family.   it's by far, not the most luxurious or grand ski/snow resort 'round; nope!   it was still fun tho'.   there's an east n' west resort.   the west resort is by far better, but we started the day @ the east resort.   it was pretty fun.   i like the small terrain park in the west resort.   i know it's not as challenging 4 me, n' i could do the big terrain park if i put my mind to it, but eh... it's good practice, right?   i know... it's a bit wimpy 4 me, but eh... lemme just get a li'l more practice n' then i'll hang @ the big parks all the time... it's not like i didn't do ne of the big ramps in the big parks, but well, shoot... honestly, i don't feel as com4table trying to pull off a 360 on the big ramps yet.   n' i wanna get used to doing railslides on the baby railslides 1st.   snow summit n' mtn high r both good 'bout having these baby parks.   lots'f tahoe resorts don't have such things.... u either go balls out or u don't get to ride ne snowpark @ all.   boreal has a kids' x.park, but last time we went it was pretty crappy.   the nightline terrain park @ boreal is still pretty smalltime compared to the big van's boarder park, so well... it's ok, i guess.   neway, i liked hanging out @ these socal snowboard parks in the socal resorts. not bad.   christmas nite, kaela's parents took us to dinner @ soyongchoong chinese restaurant (little dragon) in hacienda heights.   it was funny, i could c delon tan's taekwondo/kungfu studio across the street.   down the strip mall from it was 'nother taekwondo studio.   delon tan was jason han's n' yulah's original taekwondo master.   some ppl say he's the only widely respected nonkorean taekwondo master.   he's chinese.   he's pretty famous, i guess.   neway, i just thought it was interesting.   @ the restaurant, we saw a poster advertising some taekwondo hanmadang demo tournament coming up on jan 27.   well, i wish we could bring our demo team down to either compete or watch, but we have a big demo to put on the following week.   neway, u know how taekwondo politics werks.   i have no clue if that event's sumpthin' we support or what. *shrug*

well, yesterday was the day after christmas, we tried to pack up n' leave early, but that didn't quite werk.   we did make a trip to costco n' bought a bunch'f things; mostly not fud.   well, soon after costco, we left.   there was traffik on the socal freeways n' on the 5.   we stopped 4 gas a coupl'f times, n' had dinner @ andersen's split pea soup restaurant in santa nella.   it was a simple dinner.   then we just went home.   when i got home in the apt, i really felt this "wow, oh yah! this is where we live" feeling.   *shrug* dunno, it hasn't been that long, just a very eventful few days, i guess.

so now we gotta look 4 a place to hold the wedding.   u know that we're going to taiwan on sun, right?   shoot, we haven't even received our tickets in the mail yet!   that's bad. *sigh* well, we gotta get things ready 4 that 1st, i guess.   i guess that's the immediate concern. [later] the travel agent had problems sending the tickets to us.   *sigh* this sucks.   well, she's going to try to send a new set to us by express mail now.   i hope they get to us! :-( worried. boy, oh boy! :-(

[much later] well, can u believe christmas just came n' went like that?! *sigh* it's rained in corte madera 2day.   it was so sunny in socal @ times, earlier this week.   it was still cold in big bear n' in wrightwood (where mountain high is).   hey, u know what's so crazy??? out in wrightwood (or 'least by wrightwood on hwy 2) there r all these korean things! it's weird!   there r korean biznesses n' churches... it's so weird!   yah, snowboarding @ mountain high made me think it was the closest thing i've ever done to snowboarding in korea.   now i plugged my soundsgood into my handspring n' am listening to gigi d'agostino's "l'amour toujours (i'll fly with you)," a remix by ludo deejay.   eh! i listen to this track 2 much, i know.   neway, 1 day recently i had a silly thought.   u know how they have all these handspring springboard modules, right?   imagine if they had a springboard that "turned ur handspring into a cigarette lighter"! ha ha ha... that'd be such a ridiculous produkt, huh? ha ha ha :-) i can almost imagine sharper image having sumpthin' like that tho'. :-) ha ha.   *sigh* neway, ah... musik is making me happy, i think.   or my stoopid li'l giggle over that handspring joke is making me happy.   u know.. man, planning 4 the wedding's gonna be quite a task.   i tell u , i definitely proposed to kaela cos i love her, not cos it's just a convenient time in my life or nething...   i really want us to have a great, beautiful, wonderful wedding.   w/ my company not having all that much $$$ right now, it'd be easy to feel down n' worry 'bout "how am i gonna afford this?!?!", right?   well, yah, :-) i won't say i'm not worried 'bout it cos i am.   i definitely spent 'lotta $$$ lately.   ha, as i was saying... u prob'ly cringe when u read this journal! :-) *sigh* yah... yah... sometimes i almost feel like cringing when i c how much $$$ i've spent lately... heh... but 'least i'm not ignorant of it.   i know i've shelled out a lot'f $$$, n' i well yah... i know i gotta save up 'lot this coming yr. yup.   4 me 2001 was definitely a big yr of spending.   hrm... well, maybe 2002 can be a yr of saving.   making $$$?   yah, i need to make more $$$, if i can.   well, as u know, i'd never wanna be obsessed w/ making $$$, but well yah... a combination of hopefully making more $$$ n' saving more $$$'ll hopefully get me to my goal, right? i can be optimistic, right?   i can hope, right? :-) *sigh* well, no matter what... i'm a happy guy right now.

so well, lots'a ppl r hearing the news 1 way or 'nother. :-)   neway, we drove down to chino.   we're @ the beautiful kaela kang's parents' place.   we drove down on sat the 22.   we 1st went down to the south east n' south bay to buy kaela's new snowboard.   it's a santa cruz cw.144.   we bought the deck @ tri.city n' the bindings @ go skate.   then we swung by grace n' steve's place.   oh yah, b4 going to almaden rd. go skate, we visited the milipitas wireless dimension store.   after we met w/ grace n' steve, n' told them the news, we started heading south.   we took mckean rd to baily rd to cochrane to whatever to 101 to pachaco pass, etc.   there was lots'a traffik.   it's funny, we stopped 4 dinner @ the same truck stop as jeanna n' their parents.   c, their parents were moving jeanna's stuff back to chino, while we were driving down @ the same time.   so we were able to meet @ that truckstop n' get the keys from their parents.   well, later that nite, we told them the news, but they were so unsurprised that we were surprised.

well, 2day (as in yesterday), we went to snow summit w/ phil n' his sister vicky.   snow summit was kewl!   i had lots'a fun.   the snowboard parks r kewl!   we met kaela's hi skool friend ling.   well, after a long day, we drove back.   we had dinner @ abuhm soondae.   i really like soondae.   i also had yookgyeijang. mmmm... phil treated us on that meal.   2morrow, we have some big plans to visit a lot of ppl, but s.mike is crazy cos he thinks we can wake up n' be @ his place by 900a.   *sigh* hrm... we'll c.

oh yah! i wanna 1st thank all the ppl who have e.mailed me 'bout our engagement! :-) sorry, i don't have much net access down here, so i can't e.mail u back till we get back. thanks!

226a: i stole that title from a line from a cure song: a href="http://www.benomix.com/to.the.sky">"to the sky."   it popped into my mind cos that's how i feel.   i wanted to check the quote.   i thought 'bout looking up the lyrics on.line, then i 'membered that i posted them on my site a long, long, long time 'go.   well, i just typed in the url http://www.benomix.com/to.the.sky, n' it really did pop up.   i was a li'l bit surprised, but well... like some things just stick in ur memory, somewhere in the back of ur memory under a bunch of clutter.   well, 2day my fiancée :-) the beautiful kaela kang n' i r gonna head down south.   *sigh* well, we hope to leave berkeley in the morn, go snowboard shopping 4 her replacement board down in the south east bay n' south bay, n' then take pochacco (pacheco) pass to hwy 5 n' head down to chino. *sigh* this'll be my 1st christmas 'way from "home," right?   this'll be my 1st actual christmas w/ the kang family.   so u know, the itinerary'll be: sun the 23, we go snowboarding @ snow summit w/ kaela's hi skool friends (n' possibly supermike, if he's up to it after his trip to mammoth); mon the 24, we visit jay's (kaela's bro) house (rented w/ friends) in laguna hills n' hopefully c some friends such as johnny, s.mike?, n' brandie, dr. eric johnson?...   then i think we'll do some stuff w/ kaela's relatives.   tues the 25, christmas day, we'll take kaela's family to mountain high to snowboard/ski.   wed the 26, we leave back 4 berkeley.   this next thurs n' fri, i'll werk.   then on sun, i guess we leave 4 taiwan.   crazy skedule, eh?

well, 2nite (as in last nite), we went to coriya hot pot city in the albany/richmond 99 mall to recelebrate jerome's 22nd b.day.   :-) some ppl couldn't make it to the original kirala celebration, so we redid it 2nite.   :-) well, we also told our friends 'bout the engagement.   ting figured it out 1st, out of all our friends, by spotting the ring. :-) [now it's 311a.   i had to do some laundry biz n' apply scotchguard waterproof to some things.]   so ting got the conversation started.   actually, there was 1 false start when she found out dave got engaged n' started grilling me n' kaela.   we thought she caught on, but she was just grilling/teasing us 4 no reason.   roland told her to let us go. :-) then she got back on the topik when she spotted the ring.   so we let our friends know.   we talked 'bout it.   dave talked to me 'lot.   his well into planning his wedding w/ emily.   they've got the places reserved 4 the ceremony n' banquet.   they're getting married next oct. *sigh* wow, huh?

neway, after we took some group pics @ the 99 mall entrance by the big christmas tree, we went home.   well, most ppl went to jerome n' andy's to play, but kaela n' i went home to do laundry.   shoot, this place smells like scotchguard fumes!   ugh! i gotta get outta here.   well, uhm... in the days to come, i'll give u more details 'bout the engagement.   lemme tell u... wait, did i already tell u?   kaela uhm... she was in disbelief @ 1st that i was proposing to her... then she made me say it all 'gain while recording me on .avi on her digital elph!!!! ha ha ha.... *sigh* i feel a li'l embarrassed when i watch that .avi, but *sigh* yes, it is a happy memory.   i like happy times, floating in a golden haze.

532p: [i'm writing on my handspring.] i've been trying to figure how to tell ppl 'bout this, but i didn't want to post it on the net just yet.   still, i wanted to document my emotions n' life; so i guess i'll write in my handspring now n' upload later.   well, shoot it's been such a bizzy day that i haven't had all that much time to write a journal entry neway.

well, last nite i took the beautiful kaela kang to dinner @ the 5th floor in sf.   it's a contemporary french restaurant on the 5th floor of the hotel palerno.   we had a late reservation, 930p; but that werked out perfectly.   kaela had us bring our christmas gifts to each other w/ us.   it was freezing cold n' rainy, but i luckily found parking pretty close.   i wore a suit w/ a new purple shirt n' tie.   to feel right, i actually wore new socks n' underwear 2. :-)   *sigh* it was a wonderful nite.   i'll tell u more 'bout it later. :-)

morn: 2day is me n' the kaela kang's 23rd monthversary! :-) i'm happy.   kaela makes me happy.   i am very happy to be w/ her!   this yr has been a very great yr, 'specially cos we found this apt 2gether n' moved in 2gether.   it really makes me happy. :-) i started making a list on my handspring of all the important events of 2001.   this is prob'ly the top of the list.

hey, check this out: i found this cute flash movie from "tigress" regina's webpage: turtle technology of course, i really believe in teknology, so i don't really love the theme of this movie, but it is really cute.

[later] after lunch: i took a late lunchbreak n' went out to the corte madera village mall to buy a li'l bit of dress clothes 4 myself.   i had this 15% voucher that werked out better than i had imagined: it was only s'pposed to give me 15% off sale or clearance merchandise, but the ca$hier gave me 15% everything.   kewl!   i looked 'round the mall a li'l, then hurried over to the bank n' roadrunner burrito in greenbrae.   i deposited some checks @ the bank n' bought an azteca chicken burrito to go from roadrunner.   hrm... i don't 'member how a cabo chicken burrito tastes.   the menu sez the azteca has "grilled" chicken, while the cabo has "sauteéd" chicken. hrm... :-/ dunno.

oh, b4 lunch, i called supermike down in socal.   he's going to mammoth w/ his sister n' her friends 2day.   they'll come back on sat nite.   he might have enuf energy to go to snow summit w/ us on sun. dunno.   ah, it was kewl talkin' to s.mike 'gain. [a few secs later] oh yah! u gotta check out google.com's banner 2day: cute winter google banner   yah, it's the sort'f thing that kaela'd go crazy over!   [later] to super.rich ppl ever use coupons?

[a li'l later] *sigh* there's stuff i gotta finish @ werk b4 the vacation, huh?   boy, oh boy.   i like this doggy.   the accountant guy brought his huge golden retriever "dusty" to werk 2day.   i saw him, but he was asleep on the floor.

[later] i have a few pics to share w/ u, just to give u a better idea of how i go 'bout my life. :-)

• bunnytree.jpg: of course, this is a pic of our favourite bunny, mashimaro, n' our li'l christmas tree.   when i show this pic, i wanna say, don't think of it as a small tree; rather, imagine the tree is normal sized n' the bunny is huge! :-) that'd be fun, huh? i took this pic a while 'go using kaela's digital elph.
• rlkkbhcl_lores.jpg: raymond lee, kaela kang, beno hwang, n' clarence lao in front of beno's subaru b4 hitting the slopes @ northstare on 2001.12.15.   this was the day b4 3 of the 4 boards disappeared. :-(   still, i love snowboarding.   kaela's old a phi o friend took this pic on kaela's digital elph.
• benooffice_lores.jpg: this is me in my office cubicle.   i normally don't dress so casually, but i wore a thick sweater 2day.   maybe it's cold.   maybe i just feel fat n' gotta hide my fat! :-) isn't that what women r always saying?! :-) well, why can't i say it?!   my office is rather cluttered n' messy. :-( i took this pic 2day using my office's canon s10.
• benodriving_lores.jpg: this is how i look driving home these days.   it's so dark when i leave my office nowadays.   it's cold, so i get bundled up in my scarf n' my beanie n' my raincoat.   ah, i know, i know... all u non.cali4nians'll scoff hard @ me needing all this bundling up. *sigh* well, i'm not sure if exposing myself to cold weather'll make me lose fat cos i'm burning calories to stay warm, or if it'll make me gain fat cos my body wants to stay warm. :-) ok, 'nuff talk 'bout body image! >:-( i know u all think i sound like some weirdo anorexic by saying stuff like that.   eh! well, just wait until u c what i eat 4 dinner 2nite! i'm no anorexic.   i just talk 'bout bodyfat n' weight 'lot.   there's a diff! :-) i took this pic last nite.   i just put it on autotimer on my dashboard n' drove off.   i just wanted to give u a dose of reality, u know?   this is what beno's life is really like! :-) ah, the harsh truth. :-( "harsh"? why "harsh"? *shrug* i dunno, i just felt like saying it.   'gain, i used the office's s10.

[later] early eve: i'm feeling drowsy now.   ugh.   there was a big problem w/ a pc, so i've been trying to fix it.   while waiting 4 all the setup programs to run, i felt so sleepy!   i think i dozed off 4 a bit when i rested my chin on the table.   yah, i'm getting that "falling asleep in libraries" feeling 'gain! *sigh* so 4 next yr, i wanna change my journal layout.   hrm... i wanna make it so i (n' others) can use avantgo to read recent journal entries on my/their palm powered handheld devices. (of course, my palm powered handheld device of choice is handspring ! :-) )   so, didju c my li'l picture show there?   well, that's my life right now.   i guess, i'm not practice taekwondo @ nite these next few weeks since the rsf closes @ 800p.   well, master yoon, last nite, sed that we can use his private studio (sky martia arts in castro valley) to practice on mon nites after 830p or ne other nite after 900p.   ooh, that's late. <:-/ what to do? *shrug* *sigh* *breathe* well, i wanna go snowboarding! :-)

circa noon: i'm so shaggy. i need a haircut! i really need a haircut.   i still wonder: why is it that male models usually have long hair, while most guys i c have short hair.   i tried to have a very produktive nite last nite.   on my way home, i stopped by the san pablo shell to buy some slightly overpriced gas n' get a free brushful carwash.   ugh, i hate the idea of going thru a brushful carwash, but i figure that my car was so dirty that the brushes wouldn't get thru all the layers of dirt n' harm my car's paint. :-) u know?   it didn't even get the back clean, just the front really...   neway, i had my free carwash, then i went to safeway on solano to buy a few groceries; especially milk, since the beautiful kaela kang sez i need more calcium since i'm getting muscle twithces.   well, so far 2day, i haven't had ne muscle twitches.   *breathe* then i drove to long's drugs on shattuck to meet up w/ kaela.   i picked up some pics from the foto dept.   then we went home.   i wanted to keep bizzy to avoid falling asleep.   i cooked jjajangmyuhn.   it turned out better than it has in the recent past.   i'm glad. :-)   we ate.   we also had smoothies.   i made blueberry banana smoothies.   i put in tons of milk, prob'ly 2 much.   *sigh* it would've been tastier w/o so much milk.   [where the heck's my stapler?! i can't find my office stpaler in my cubicle.   did somebody steal it?! oh, found it!]   well, we watched some tv last nite.   i was pretty bizzy w/ either cooking or taking care of taekwondo club snowtrip organisational biz on my 'puter to watch closely.   we saw the simpsons, everybody loves raymond, buffy, frasier, scrubs, n' some people magazine interview show.   i really couldn't pay much attention cos i was so bizzy on the 'puter.   *sigh* planning the snowtrip is pretty tuff werk.   i really appreciate cooperative ppl, helpful ppl.   i really don't appreciate whiney ppl.   i werked on snowtrip stuff, watched the 2nd simpsons, then asked kaela 4 a haircut.   she was 2 sleepy.   she sed she'd nap 4 a bit then cut my hair.   hrm... i worried 'bout that; i worried she'd just fall asleep, but she insisted this was a good plan.   i went to "nap" in bed.   'round 500a 2day, she woke me up.   well, we agreed to put the haircut off till 800a.   i woke up @ 800a this morn, but i couldn't wake her up.   *sigh* well, i took a shower n' went to werk all shaggy.   *sigh* i really need a haircut.

[a li'l later] so i just talked to mastercard 'bout raymond's lost board.   i was hoping they had some kind'f purchase protection 4 lost merchandise.   i've cn stuff like that on tv commercials.   well, it turns out they only cover items that were stolen by force. :-( nuts! if they covered lost items, i'd gladly file a poice report, since i already called the chp neway.   however, i don't think i'm up 4 filing a false police report saying that the board was stolen. :-(   *sigh*

well, 2nite we're eating dinner @ master yoon's house.   he invited a few of us 4 that, some of the more active, young leader type ppl of berkeley taekwondo.   this is a very crowded week.   crazy crazy! i wanted to do laundry last nite, but i didn't have the energy, i guess.   also, i was so tied up w/ doing the snowtrip organisational biz.   i really wanna get laundry done.   i wish we had a washer n' dryer @ werk! ha ha ha.   well, i wish i could be @ home then.   i also, as u know, wanted to werk on benomix4jip. :-( i wanted to give it out 4 christmas, but it doesn't look like it @ all.   :-( life, life, life.

[later] in the afternoon: i ate leftover jjajangmyuhn 4 lunch.   i felt full after eating all that.   later, i felt hungry 'gain.   man, has my stomach expanded?   i ate a mandarin orange.   after lunch, i went to the nearby any mountain to ask 'bout getting my board tuned.   the guy there sed it wouldn't be ready till sun.   whuh?! *sigh* so i sed i couldn't wait, so i didn't get a tune.   then i went to the corte madera village mall 4 a li'l bit.   i think i'll be back there 2morrow. boy, oh boy.   well, i'm glad i got almost all of my christmas shopping done early.   yah, that's good. hrm, weird.   even tho' i did get christmas shopping done early n' got the tree n' decorations early, it still feels like christmas is creeping up on me n' catching me by surprise.   it's as if i expected christmas to happen a long time 'go, then it didn't come, n' then i let me guard down, so i'm being caught by surprise.

[later] later in the afternoon: i'm so drowsy!   i was sittin' @ a 'puter in the imaging lab, the 'puter we use 4 most of the heavy.duty image processing.   as i was waiting 4 it to do some processing, i felt like putting my head down n' napping.   i think i drifted off 4 a short while.   man, it felt like when i was in skool, when i'd go study 4 tests in the library, n' then i'd fall asleep @ a table or desk in the library n' wake up w/ drool on my sleeve or sumtphin'.   ah, i 'member those days! :-)   i fell asleep in the bechtel engineering library, which isn't really called the "bechtel engineering library," but sumpthin' else, like the "kresge library" or sumpthin, but every1 calls it "bechtel" cos that's the name of the building.   i fell asleep in the doe main stacks, in moffitt undergraduate library, in the valley life sciences building library...   ah, especially that vlsb library!   it's so dang quiet! n' those bio major r just so anal 'bout it being quiet! i don't get it.   in the engineering library u can talk; u can talk 'bout projects n' stuff.   in moffitt, shoot... u can just plain party!   in vlsb, man... u gotta be so quiet or else some bio major'll get on ur case really fast! just think 'bout all the times i've been asked, "can u stop breathing?!" ha ha ha. j/k, but yah... ppl r practically like that there.   n' the librarians rn't very nice!   that was the library where a librarian chewed me out 4 checking e.mail on the library dummy terminal. *sigh* he sed it was slowing down the system.   man, there was like no1 else using the terms, so what was the big deal?!   as if he really understood 'puters n' netwerking! *roll eyes*

[later] neway, guys; i gotta get outta here.   ttyl!

[much later] well, we went to dinner @ master yoon's house, n' now we're home watching simpsons.   it was a fun dinner.   n' it's always fun to be @ master yoon's house, hangin' w/ his family.   his son joseph is getting older; it's so interesting. :-) heh.

*sigh* i logged in here to write sumpthin', but i 4get what i wanted to say! :-( *sigh* hey, u know what?   i wanna thank jerome n' jeremiah 4 signing my gbook recently!   thank u!   they prob'ly don't know each other, but they r both brandie's friends n' have somewhat similar names.   maybe i'll get laundry done 2nite.   i hope.   oh yah! kaela cut my hair b4 we went out to master yoon's house.   i'm so happy! :-) i've been sheared!   argh, what did i login to say?!?!   i'm sure when i logout, i'll 'member, huh? oh well, we'll c.

[a li'l later] just as i thought, after i logged out i 'membered!   last nite, i was restoring some backed up files to my 'puter.   i restored a bunch of old documents n' loaded on my old e.mails since 1995.   crazy, huh?! 1995! so crazy.

early eve(ning): upes, i didn't realise till 2day that yesterday's entry was actually 2 diff days' entries combined! upes! oh well... i dunno if ne of u even noticed.   now i changed the date to "16-17 december," instead of just "16 december."   well, when i came into werk this morn, i learned that the 1 "mechanical" engineer is quitting to werk @ a silicon valley company.   i went to go talk to him, n' we had a good talk 'bout career n' life.   even tho' @ 1st, when he 1st started here, i felt we sort'f didn't get 'long, after his wife moved here, he became a much nicer person, n' we got 'long great since.   neway, *sigh* it's 2 bad he won't be here, but it's good 4 him, since he's got a better, more stable job now.   he just recently had a son w/ his wife.

how r u?   still no wurd 'bout the snowboards.   i fear all is lost. :-(   [a few mins later] well, i dunno if all i say is a li'l depressing 2day, in a way.   hrm... well, if so, 'least i have sumpthin' that might be sort'f cheerful.   i have a pic of our christmas tree w/ mashimaro.   i took this pic w/ the beautiful kaela kang's digital elph: bunnytree.jpg oh! careful! it's a huge pic! [2001.12.20: i uploaded a lo res version now!]   i'll try to find some time to make a lo res version of it soon.

well, 2day, i went to fresh choice 4 lunch, as i often do.   then i walked 'round the corte madera town center mall a li'l.   i think that was the 1st time i went into their r.e.i.   man, they have such a lousy selection of snowboards! X-(   oh well.   kaela sez i need more calcium cos i get those muscle twitches these days.   @ lunch, i made sure to eat some frozen yogurt.   i tried not to eat 2 much cos, *sigh*, well, shoot! i've eaten so much n' so heartily lately.   i tried to eat more veggies.   i need veggies!   last nite, i came home; we ate leftover cantonese fud from raymond's parents' dinner, n' we watched a li'l tv.   kaela taped alice in wonderland over the weekend.   we watched it, but the vcr cut off the ending.   after that, she watched some shows, but i quickly passed out asleep.   strange, huh?   *sigh* it's just winter hibernation! *sigh* what to do?   i can't find energy in the winter.   it's prob'ly mostly due to how the rsf closes early, n' so i don't get ne exercise.   i need exercise.   it is very cold, but i should get some exercise. dunno what to do.   i woke up 4 the simpsons.   i was still pretty drowsy.   by the 2nd episode of news radio kaela n' i had switched: she was asleep, n' i was awake.   weird, huh?   it cms like sumpthin' u'd observe in a pair of luvburds.   u c 2 luvburds sitting next to each other all puffed up.   1'll be awake.   then later, u look over, n' the other 1's awake, while the 1st 1 is asleep.   they'll both be puffed up.   yah, u c that kind'f stuff w/ luvburds. :-)   well, i tried to do some stuff on my 'puter.   i man, i stayed up late typing in this database 4 the taekwondo club snowtrip.   man, this is gonna be 1 crazy trip to organise, n' man... it's hard to organise this trip when i'm so frickin' distraught 'bout this weekend's disaster!   i know i hafta ask 4 $$$, deposits, from all the participants, so i did.   i asked 4 the deposit, but we haven't got the thing all planned out just yet. *sigh* i think i'm confusing ppl quite a bit.   neway, there r so many ppl signed up to go.   i really wonder how many'll drop out. *shrug* *breathe*   i also filled out some rebate forms last nite.   i tried to take care of bizness i've had to do 4 a while.   i finally filled out my reimbursement form 4 the boards i bought 4 demo team last month.   boy, oh boy.   so much stuff to do.

2day, i brought my handspring usb cradle into my office, n' i hotsynced my handspring w/ my werk 'puter.   i guess this'll benefit me a li'l, dunno how. :-) but it just cmed like the right thing to do, the hi tech thing to do, u know?   well, shoot... i dunno, i'm sure i'll find it useful sometime.   i wish i could write entries on my handspring n' hotsync to my werk 'puter then cut n' paste into a telnet screen to have really up to the min updates all the time, but the way i telnet in doesn't let me cut n' paste. *sigh* neway, it's been fun getting my werk 'puter all caught up to speed w/ 2day's teknology, i guess.   shoot, what kind of processor is this?   uh, i think it's like a p3-600 or sumpthin'. dunno. neway...   well, hotsyncing was a li'l bit of a mess 2day cos i 1st experimented w/ hotsyncing w/ outlook.   then i realised that i didn't want my personal skedule stored on the werk 'puter, so i swtiched to using the palm desktop.   ugh, that was messy!

so what do i wanna accomplish 2nite?   *sigh* i'd like to do some laundry, but i dunno if i'll get to it.   i'd like to pick up some pics from long's drugs n' buy some milk from safeway.   i hope i can do that much.   what's 4 dinner? dunno.   uhm... hrm... :-/ so what should i do 2nite?   man, lemme tell u! i really wanted to put out benomix4jip this christmas, but i'm, uh, not on skedule.   i was bizzy earlier getting my 'puter all up to speed.   i think it's ready now, but man... 1) i have so li'l energy cos my bear instincts r telling me to hibernate, n' 2) we're gonna be leaving to socal soon, n' soon after we get back from there, we'll be going to taiwan.   there's lots to do. crazy crazy crazy!!! man! n' i'm so very shaggy!!! i need a haircut very badly!!! hrm... i was gonna say "frickin'" instead of "very," but i've decided that i'm been saying "frickin'," "friggin'" n' "damn" 2 much lately in this journal.   it's 'bout time i cut down on my uh... profanity! :-) ha ha ha.   seriously, some how i just don't think i should talk like that.   it's not as if they're really bad wurds, but they just sound like very impatient n' ineloquent wurds, u know?   i should speak a li'l more uh... refined... refinédly?   uh... heh :-) what's the wurd? neway! i should try to use more patient wurds to show that i'm a peaceful kind'a guy, right? right.

oh man... on the snowbomb.com msg boards, some guy tried to start a flame war w/ me, saying i'm such an "idiot" 'bout the snowboard disaster, that i'm just a stoopid "weekend warrior" that tries to drive over donner pass w/ "2wd" n' that i suck so bad cos i should be concerned 'bout ppl's safety not finding these boards.   grrr! what a loser!   i did ask the chp if ne1 got hit by the boards!   "weekend warrior"?! %#@^ that!   as if it mattered, but i do drive 4wd to tahoe, n' i have been snowboarding 4 9 seasons now!   what's his @#$%in' pt w/ this "weekend warrior" $#!+?!?!   does he really think tahoe'd exist w/o bay area residents driving up there to unload their hard.earned $$$?! >:-( stoopid prick! (i hate anonymous flamers that hide behind fake names to annoy ppl over the internet!)

yah, i'm a peaceful guy.   merry christmas, peace on earth! :-)

circa noon: man, i felt so depressed n' distraught last nite that i didn't wanna start writing this journal entry yet.   well, i guess i'm more calmed down now, so i can sort'f write.   also, i don't wanna make a habit out of not updating my journal.   i was going so well 4 a long time, then all the sudden i got bad 'bout updating.   we need to find 2 snowboards on i-80 btwn boreal n' auburn: raymond's k2 satellite 154 n' the beautiful kaela kang's santa cruz c-143! also, it'd be nice to find clarence's any mountain rental board on the slopes of boreal: a rossignol 149 rental board w/ a sticker that sez "demo" on it.   k, this is all a crazy, long story, so i'll get to it in a bit.

so on dec 14, i went to my office christmas party.   i dressed a li'l more casually than what i wear to werk, sumpthin' i just wear when i, like, go out to dinner.   i figured this was fine since i was just going 4 the party, n' it was.   i wore my santa hat that i bought from walgreen's 2.   man, i've been doing this christmas season thing 4 so long now that it feels like christmas already came n' went!   instead of doing last min shopping like i usually do, we got almost all of our shopping done a long time 'go.   it feels better this way, i think! :-) i think w/o kaela i wouldn't have been able to do it like this.   neway, i went in 4 the party.   it was small; the company is small now, after all the layoffs. :-( lots'f ppl didn't come 4 the party.   we had some finger fud type stuff: wrap sandwiches (like those armenian sandwiches), li'l costco quiches.   we had salad n' tortellini type dish.   then we had tons of desserts.   well, @ times, i felt kind'a awkward @ the luncheon cos i'm just not all that social w/ my cowerkers.   i talked w/ 1 of the chemists 'bout martial arts cos he's so into kendo n' iaido.   that talk weirds out my other cowerkers tho'.   the other chemist talks to me 'bout reno n' tahoe cos he goes to reno to gamble all the time.   both the chemists r gay, but that totally does not weird me out.   well, i stayed thru.out the entire lunch n' then left after pretty much every1 else left.   then i went home.   i took clarence, raymond, n' jerome to any mountain to get some things.   i used my 10% tahoe card discount n' the $50 gift certificate that my office gave me this past summer.   i bought a dakine deluxe tuning kit to do my own tune ups.   actually, i want to read up more b4 attempting nething.   also, i need a beat up old iron to do the waxing.   afterwards, i quickly stopped by eddie bauer on shattuck to spend my $15 voucher thingy on a black merino wool beanie n' 1 li'l christmas present 4 a friend.   well, i brought kaela home a subway sandwich 4 her pre.exam minimeal.   then i brought her to her exam.   in the meantime, i brought raymond to r.e.i. to pick up some northstar lift ticket discount vouchers n' to get a few other things from there n' neighbouring walgreen's.   then we went to the rsf to help w/ the uc open taekwondo tournament n' wushu tournament mailings.   dr. lieu was begging 4 help cos stoopid panther press skrewed him over by delivering the papers over a week late n' leaving him hanging 4 that week, giving him false delivery dates.   neway, i went to go help.   then we picked kaela up from her final, dropped raymond off to get ready, n' took clarence back to our place to wait as we got ready.   we were so behind skedule!

neway, we finally left 4 tahoe like @ uh... 900p or so, i guess.   we stopped @ pinole in.n.out 4 dinner.   man, i've been eating so unhealthily these days!!! i had a 2 by meat, skipping the cheese.   raymond generously volunteered to drive my car 4 me, so i could rest.   he drove all the way to reno, where we stayed @ the silver legacy.   we made 1 stop @ raymond's house n' met his parents n' his sister's hamster.   the hamster is very cute, especially when he walks 'round in his hamster ball!   i fell asleep 4 a li'l bit as raymond drove.   i'm glad he drove.     i checked us into our room @ the 2 person price, a decent deal.   well, since no 1 else wanted or needed to, only i took a shower on fri nite.   then we hit the sack.

sat, we went to northstar.   we bought our tickets, raymond went to buy a beanie, n' then we had lodge @ pedro's pizza.   funny! who buys their tix n' then just sit n' eat?! oh well, that's what we did, ate pizza.   well, raymond @ clam chowder.   well, we went boarding.   we left raymond n' clarence on the beginner slopes n' took off.   it was pretty cool (temperaturewise) n' got colder.   kaela n' i snowboarded thru some intermediate n' black diamond runs, the front side n' the back side.   then we met up w/ the other 2.   raymond sed clarence was making very good progress.   it was good that i could call raymond w/ our cellfons!   we couldn't find andy.   well, it took a while 4 us to meet up w/ clarence n' raymond cos kaela had some probs w/ her boot.   then raymond, kaela, n' i went up the vista express 4 1 last run.   well, kaela had some really bad boot probs, so she couldn't get down the run.   the boot was chaffing away @ her skin.   i thought it was sumpthin' worse, so i jammed down pinball really fast to get ski patrol.   i felt like i was in expn boardercross or sumpthin'.   well, i got the ski patrol to sled her down.   northstar was 'bout to close.   we just took the gondola down.   then we got some hot drinks.   we went back to my subaru.   we went to truckee.   kaela bought some 1st aid things n' some supplies to do a macgyver modification to her boots.   well, it was pretty kewl that she came up w/ her own invention, in a way.   she used sponges n' shoe laces, i think.   kewl.   well, we dilly dallied 'round rite.aid 4 a bit.   we tried to get $20 tix to squaw, part of this skool fundraiser thing.   we stopped by porter's ski shop, 1 of the few places that was selling them.   they were all sold out.   squaw is expen$ive.   sumpthin' like $60.   we headed back to reno.   i felt we were really behind skedule cos we needed to shower b4 we ate.   we ate @ the silver legacy buffet.   it was actually really good! that chemist that goes to reno all the time, he told me it's the best buffet in reno.   i used to go to the eldorado buffet, but i think this 1's better @ the same price.   we stuffed ourselves.   clarence, kaela, n' i walked 'round n' played circus circus carnival games n' watched some circus acts.   raymond went back to the room.

on sun morn, we packed up, left behind skedule, n' went to boreal.   kaela n' i got us $30 tix, a $4 discount w/ our tahoe cards.   it was cold.   i was so bundled up!   i was so sore n' cramped up from sat.   well, we snowboarded.   4 most of the time, it was raymond, kaela, n' me 2gether, n' clarence on his own.   i had some fun, but i felt really unfulfilled, i guess.   like, since i was hurt, i couldn't do big jumps.   i did li'l jumps on the kid's x.park n' a li'l in the nightline park.   *sigh* i felt like such a... i guess ppl say "gimp."   sure, i could "ride" fine, but what 'bout jumping n' sliding n' stuff like that?!   i really couldn't ollie worth crap cos my left thigh was so cramped up.   well, we waited 4 clarence in the lodge.   then kaela finally found him.   he had lost his rental board! he had accidentally gone down a trail that ended up @ the bottom of the lost dutchman lift that wasn't open.   he tried to walk back up.   he got tired n' sat 4 a break.   his board ran away.   he couldn't find it!! *sigh* it was pretty bad.   neway, raymond told us we had to hurry cos we couldn't keep his parents waiting cos they were taking us to dinner.   we left boreal in a mad rush.   man, guess what! *sigh* no1 checked to make sure the board rack was closed down tightly or if @ all!   *sigh* we took off.   somewhere btwn boreal n' auburn, we lost kaela's board n' raymond's board.   somehow, miraculously, my board managed to stay on!   i can't believe no 1 told us that the rack was open till auburn.   i'm glad that person did.   *sigh* man, i can't believe it! :-( this is really bad!   we felt so awful.   shoot, raymond just bought his board last week!   :-( well, raymond drove my car to his parent's place after we looked a li'l 4 the lost boards.   we didn't find nething.   we were so depressed.   'least no 1 was hurt, i sed.   really, it is only material things, i guess... but *sigh* this was so unnecessary!   i hate live n' learn lessons like these.   i've been thinking over n' over 'bout what to do cos of this: 1) i gotta tell all my passengers that we can't rush things in tahoe!   haste makes waste.   look what happend that morn in 1999 w/ supermike going up to sierra.at.tahoe! the big accident! :-( 2) i considered having some "standard operating procedures" 4 my passengers.   they gotta double check that the rack is always closed n' locked.   not only that, maybe we should lock the board bindings to the rack using snowboard locks! 3) i thought 'bout how i could make a device that'd alert me if the rack weren't closed. *sigh* i coudln't think of nething 2 good yet.   neway, i've been thinking 2 much.   @ raymond's place, i tried to call the chp, but they wouldn't answer.   we showered there.   we met raymond's sisters.   his parents took us to dinner @ a good cantonese restaurant in sacramento.   we ate big!!!   then the remaining 3 of us took off 4 home.   last nite, i posted on all these msg boards 'bout the lost boards.

this morn, i managed to get in touch w/ the chp.   they sed they'll call me back w/in 2 days. *cross fingers*

[later] i had a roadrunner burrito 4 lunch, a chicken santa fe burrito.   it has spinach n' shrooms in it, i think.   it was very, very good.   i also had a nantucket nectar orange juice.   i left my frequent eater card in the car by accident. :-( i didn't get a stamp.   oh well.   fud is 2 expen$ive in marin county, i tell u!   *sigh* what a life! hrm... what do i mean by that?   yah, i'm not really sure.   i know i gotta watch my budget.   shoot, if i buy raymond a replacement snowboard or help him buy a replacement snowboard, that'll co$t $$$.   kaela's? same thing. "don't sweat the petty things," starts out jerome's e.mail signature. "pet the sweatty things," it finishes.   when the big disaster happened last nite, i thought 'bout the 1st part: "don't sweat the petty things."   u know, when some expen$ive disaster happens to u, u wonder why u ever thought so hard 'bout cutting corners here n' there to save a buck or 2 when u compare it to the big disasters that co$t u a big bundle.   u know?   1nce, my mom n' i were discussing dishwashing soaps.   i sed that i think the new concentrated soaps r a way 4 the soap companies to rip u off cos if u spill an amt of soap, now u'r losing more soap than u used to, n' u'r losing more $$$ than u used to.   then my mom told me that i shouldn't worry 'bout things so small n' insignificant as the concentration of dishwashing soap.   that's not where u really save $$$, it's the big things that u buy or don't buy, or what big discounts u can get on ur major purchases etc.   yah, that really made sense to me.   but then 'gain, ther er so many ppl who'd say that if i can save a li'l here n' there, i'll save up lots'f $$$!   *sigh* dunno, man!   i have lots'f friends who r struggling to pay off their credit card bills.   me, i always pay off my bills in full @ the end of the month.   i guess, 1) i werk full time, etc. n' 2) i do try to watch what i spend n' try to live w/in my means.   ... n' 3) i gotta admit, in my life i have been a bit spoiled, in that, yah... i'm blessed to have come from a family w/ some $$$, to have 2 parents w/ professional careers, etc.   neway, so... *sigh* i'm very glad i'm not truly living paycheck to paycheck, but i really pray i can keep living like that. :-(   i tell u! it's damn scary these days! *sigh* seriously! ppl my age, we've cn the best of times n' the worst of times, n' really, i understand it if my peers r nervous these days cos i've been nervous.   *sigh* well, i try to be optimistic.   sure, i 2 (like jerome in his gbook entry) think we'll have economic revival in 2002.   i really hope so.   i don't like thinking that my company might not survive.   no.

actually, i'm pretty stressed @ werk 2day.   it's not that there's a whole lot of stress/pressure on me, but i'm sitting in my office, n' my cowerking pretty much keeps whining 'bout everything in the office, n' it's really getting on my nerves.   i hate it when my cowerker gets all pissy n' frustrated 'bout our company n' then like takes it out on every1. it's so unpleasant, sitting in my cubicle right now.   that's stressing me out, n' i feel so frickin' tired.   i slept ok last nite.   i woke up prety easily, early this morning.   i surprised myself.   my left arm/shoulder keeps on twitching; i dunno why. *sigh* i want to exercise this week, but the rsf closes @ 800p 4 the rest of winter break.   this is crazy!   i wonder if it'll be 2 cold, wet, or dark to go jogging 'round the neighbourhood after werk. *sigh* most likely, all 3.   heh, i dunno if u call that pessimism or laziness! :-) it's almost amusing.   i sound so lazy. *sigh*

i'm writing to u from my werk 'puter, which i suped up last week.   it's got a really nice graphics card.   i have it set on a hi resolution.   this telnet window looks so small.   did i mention to u that i ordered myself a new video card last week.   really, i know i'm talkin' 'bout needing to save $$$ but 1) it was a very good deal, 2) i really need a new video card, n' 3) that was b4 the big snowboard disaster.   [later] do u cringe when u read my journal??? like, do u just pound the table or ur head thinking, "how the %$#@ does he get himself into these messes! ugh! he's so stoopid!   why doesn't he just... [this or that]?!?!?! i just wanna scream!"   do u ever think that?   just wondering.

so i 'membered what i was gonna talk 'bout earlier.   i read on y! news that a research study showed that men gain weight when their wives r pregnant.   *sigh* will i? :-( i mean, in the future, of course!

can u believe i skipped a day in my journal?!   according to my journal, yesterday, i fell off the face of the earth. :-)   weird.   i've just been 2 bizzy doing nuthin'. *shrug* i've had lott'a stoopid things to do, i guess. dunno.   n' i guess i have less energy to do it.   winter, u know?   i just wanna hibernate!   it's the bear in me.   i'm a bear.   bear n' a bunny: the bear asks the bunny, "when u take a dump, does the $#!+ stick to ur fur?"   the bunny replies, "no."   then the bear picks up the bunny n' wipes his butt w/ it.   that's toby's joke.   there's 'nother bear n' bunny joke that "izam" on bjunkyard told, sumpthin' like: a bear n' a bunny find a magical lamp in the forest.   they rub it n' a genie pops out n' tells them they each get 3 wishes.   the bear goes 1st, "i wish i were the only male bear in the forest, n' all the rest were females."   the genie sez, "ur wish is granted."   the bunny wishes 4 a motorcycle helmet.   a motorcycle helmet appears 4 the bunny, n' the genie sez, "ur wish is granted."   then the bear sez, "i wish i were the only male bear in the forest, n' all the rest were females."   the genie sez, "ur wish is granted."   then the bunny wishes 4 a motorcycle.   a motorycle appears 4 the bunny, n' the genie sez, "ur wish is granted."   then the bear sez, "i wish i were the only male bear in the forest, n' all the rest were females."   the genie sez, "ur wish is granted."   then the bunny gets on the motorcycle, revs it up, n' makes his last wish, "i wish the bear were gay."   then the bunny zooms off.   i like this joke 2.   i like bears, n' i like bunnies.

afternoon: i went out during lunch.   i had to get out of the office.   i was a bit frustrated w/ my 'puter cos i had just installed win2k on it, n' i had bugged the programmer w/ the puppy to help me set my 'puter up 4 the netwerk, then it started skrewing up on me.   i dunno if it was the hd, which is rumoured to be a messed up 1, or if it's the video driver i tried to use. *shrug* dunno. *sigh* so i went out 4 lunch.   i 1st went to fill up my car w/ gas @ beacon in san rafael.   it was $1.21/gal.   i saw my old cowerker there who was laid off.   then i went to the post office to send out a christmas present to my dad n' to buy some stamps.   then i drove out to central san rafael.   i ate lunch @ puentez taqueria. i had a chicken mole mini deluxe burrito 4 $5.25.   it was pretty overpriced, but a good burrito.

evening: well, 2day was a very bizzy day, but i spend most of it fixing up my werk 'puter.   i think it's reasonable.   i needed to have a beefier 'puter @ my desk.   2morrow, i'll come in just 4 the christmas lunch.   i'll practice 2nite.   it's cold these days still.   last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to ajanta indian restaurant 4 dinner.   originally, we wanted to go to plearn, but we couldn't find parking on university.   stoopid city of berkeley!   if they had more parking, i'd patronise those shops! >:-( well, neway... ajanta's on solano, but it's still in the city of berkeley.   it was a good dinner.   kaela ordered this duck vindaloo, i ordered this uh... catfish. it was called seyal machi.   it was good.   we also ordered this crab cake appetizer n' had lassi.   the fud was very flavourful.   i liked it.   kaela treated me out to dinner.

1055a: i guess this is sort'f a "hell week" cos the beautiful kaela kang has her final on fri.   she'll be studying so hard this week, i guess.   i just can't wait to go snowboarding this weekend.   my office is having a christmas lunch on fri.   i don't werk this fri, but i'll go in 4 the lunch.   so... how r u?   since bjunkyard is back up thanks to jerome, i've been wasting time on those on.line forums.   last nite, i got my 'puter downloading a bunch'f songs from audiogalaxy.   eh, i dunno if they r songs i really want, but i figured i might as well dl them while i can.   lots'f them were old altrock or mod songs, really old 1s.   i noticed that audiogalaxy is starting to look pretty bare, like the record companies have come by n' started shutting them down.   that's why i figure i'd better take what i can, while i can.

afternoon: i went to bestbuy in marin city.   1st, i ate @ the burger king there, ate a whopper meal.   ugh! so much frickin' fast fud this week! it's so bad 4 me!!! i shouldn't eat so much fast fud! :-(   i went to best buy to get that problem fixed.   'member? i did tell u, right?   they charged me 2ice 4 a spindle of cdrs i bought, a 100 spindle.   well, the gave me my $$$ back.   they might have actually watched the security tapes to make sure i only got 1 spindle.   isn't that crazy?!   how was i s'pposed to prove that they only gave me 1 spindle n' charged me 4 2?   well, i'm glad that the tapes may have proved it.   maybe they were 2 lazy to watch the tapes or couldn't find it. *shrug* dunno.   i overheard the guy tell 'nother guy that he'd go watch the security tapes or sumpthin'.   wel, i got my $$$ back.   good.   well, since it was such a bother 4 me to drive back out there to get my $$$ back, i feel very justified that they 4got to charge me 4 the netwerk card that i bought.   it's just a cheap li'l thing neway.   how come they're so disorganised?!

i wonder what snowboard/ski resort(s) we should go to in socal.   we're gonna take kaela's family snowboarding or skiing 1 day, n' we're gonna go w/ her hi skool friends 1 day.   i gotta call up supermike to c if he can go that day.   that'd be kewl.   man, we're embarking on some exciting times ahead.   crazy! ...crazyfun! i turned in all my requests 4 time off 2day.   it should be ok.

life is ok, i think.   life is good.   *sigh* 'course kaela's studying 4 her final this week, so she's very stressed.   *sigh* i guess i'll feel it soon 2.   well, i'll try to keep my head 'bove water.   somebody's got to.   after all, i gotta find a place to stay 4 this weekend's tahoe trip!

early evening: hey! it's jerome's b.day 2day!   u know me; i always 4get n' think jerome's b.day is dec 12.   no! it's 2day!!!! guys, say "happy burthday" to jerome!!!!

[i'll write more later.]

1004p: it's cold in our apt.   i'm typin' @ my 'puter w/ the christmas tree's lites playing their musik.   yah, 'member? we have musikal lites!   it's christmastime!   i guess it was a pretty long day 2day.   i went to werk.   @ lunchtime, i drove out to marin city to buy some rebate items from bestbuy.   frick! when i got home, i found out they charged me 2ice 4 a spindle of cdrs, but didn't charge me 4 a rebate netwerk card thing.   grrr! 2morrow, i'll go n' complain they charged me 2ice 4 the cdrs!   it'd be all good if only i could have more than 1 rebate on the cdrs, but i think it's limit 1 per person, etc. grr!   what a bother!   2nite, after i got home, i was s'pposed to go w/ some ppl to any mountain to buy some snowboarding things.   that got really botched up, but the beautiful kaela kang n' i took raymond to eat @ yeitnal jjajang.   raymond n' i had jjambong (chao ma mien), n' kaela had jjajangmyuhn (jiajiangmien).   it was a good dinner.   i was glad to have so much warm liquid.   it's so cold.   i got our piyo stocking back from san jo.   we left it there last christmas.   my mom didn't wanna use it.   we have it hanging on the knob of our halogen lamp in the living room.   i hung it up, when every1 was here last nite.

uh... i did mention last nite, right?   oh shoot! i didn't, huh?   ha ha ha.   after i came back to berkeley from san jo, we took jerome out to dinner @ kirala 4 his b.day!   who was there?   andy, me, laura, jerome, roland, sophia, johnny, n' raymond.   after dinner, every1 came back to our place, where kaela was studying, n' we gave jerome his b.day present: a snowboard.   i helped laura shop 4 it on sat @ tri.city.   it's a ride uh... i 4get the model.   it's a freestyle/freeride type board.   we got him burton custom bindings to go w/ it.   then i prompted jerome to give laura his christmas present to her.   the week b4, i helped jerome pick out a snowboard 4 laura: a rossi imperial w/ burton c15 bindings.   i put 2gether their boards 4 them.   the nite b4, i put 2gether raymond's board: a k2 sattelite w/ burton customs.   i think that's the same board the k2 dart used to be.   i figure these r good boards 4 them.   i can't wait to go boarding!   last nite was fun.   i like it when we have group things @ our place. :-)

lemme now quote phil huang from an e.mail he wrote to me:

say two people, a cynic and an optimist, are debating whether the world will end. The optimist says the world will prevail, while the cynic says no, humans will fail and the world will end. Suppose the cynic is right. What then? What's there to celebrate? The cynic may often be right, but the cynic never really wins. A true victory or achievement is something which one can actually celebrate. One can be right, but what happens when you win the argument and lose the world?

in that e.mail, phil sent me an article 'bout a political battle in michigan over hunting mourning doves: "dove-hunting plan has feathers flying - again".   apparently, hunters there really want the right to hunt mourning doves, but "backyard bird watchers" love the doves.   me, of course, i love mourning doves!   i don't want ppl to shoot them, no!   they should just shoot targets @ the shooting range if they gotta shoot sumpthin'.   shoot bottles. no doves!

it's 1034p now.   wow, time flies.   ok, i caught up a li'l w/ some personal e.mails i needed to write.   i'm kind'a hungry 'gain.   it was a healthy sized dinner, not 2 big.   hrm... now my eyelids 4 feeling heavy.   maybe my body wants to hibernate. *shrug* i am getting really shaggy 'gain; winter coat.   eh! i figure i'll get my hair cut after this upcoming snowboarding trip this weekend.   that way i'll have more of a winter coat on my head while in tahoe, but i'll look more decent 4 the following week n' christmas.   ah, christmas.

~300p: i'm @ home in san jo; "home" home, u might say.   well, yesterday was a bizzy day of shopping.   what did i get 4 u?   well, what didju get 4 me? :-)   guess what!   grace n' steve r gonna have a baby!!!   i'm gonna be an uncle!!! an uncle to a li'l niece or nephew; they don't know yet.   he/she'll get here in august next yr!   :-) !!! congratulations!

yesterday, after shopping, a bunch'f us ate @ baja fresh on shattuck in berkeley.   man, after being in so many malls recently, baja fresh made me feel like i never left the mall!!!   it's a li'l piece of mallrat suburbia in the middle of berkeley's urban jungle!   it's such a clean, new place; n' they play house remixes of latin musik n' house remixes of celine dion type stuff.   sure, some of u'll rag so hard on that kind of evil pop musik n' this evil suburban mall culture; but frick! i think it's nice to have variety!!!   it's not like we don't still have wall berlin, amoeba records, n' blondie's / fat slice, etc.   this area of shattuck has eddie bauer, gateway country, shattuck cinemas, taco bell express, starbuck's, mel's diner...   it's a mix: old n' new, mall life n' berkeley life.   i don't like shattuck cinemas: 1) no parking, 2) 2 expen$ive, n' 3) crappy theatres.   i'm ok w/ the sf mel's diners, but i don't much like the berkeley mel's; it has a reduced menu.   could i possibly do christmas shopping in thi area? :-/ hrm... maybe some, but i'm glad i have the option to drive to valley fair, sf fashion centre, stanfurd mall, etc.   i'm glad eddie bauer set up shop there, but i'll never buy nething from gateway country!   i'll always build my own computers!

right now, i'm waiting 4 a pie to bake.   now, it's done, n' i removed it from the oven.   i'm drying laundry.   in case u didn't realise it, this is 'nother journal made possible by teknology from handspring.   i'm in san jo.   the beautiful kaela kang stayed home in berkeley to study.   grace n' steve came over.   my mom cooked tons of fud.

1002a: well, i woke up early 4 a sat morn!   hey! i could watch sat morn cartoons, if i wanted to! hrm... there's a snowboarding or ski competition on tv. eh! i think it's downhill ski racing. blah. i'd rather watch freestyle snowboarding, of course!   maybe they'll show some; i hope.   i don't think i recognise ne of these cartoons. man, i wanna go to the snow!!!   hrm, this slalom ski racer is the same height as me but 195 lbs.

yesterday, some anonymous person signed my g.book talkin' 'bout a hackable.to.regionfree dvd player. hrm... kewl! thanks!   i'm not sure who it is, but he/she's a linux fan.   the beautiful kaela kang has been convincing me not to buy a dvd player yet cos she just got her dvd/cdrw drive. well, i haven't cn a hack 4 hp dvd drives yet, but i've cn some potential tools, i guess. thanks 4 the tip tho'!

yesterday, i was just sort'f thrown into my day.   we had a very, very, very full, bizzy day.   it went ok, but didn't start the way i planned.   i was really just thrown into it!   i woke up late n' rushed to albany subaru to drop off my car.   originally, i wanted to drop it off early, have kaela pick me up in her kia, drop kaela off @ class, go home, get really ready, pick her up from class, n' do whatever we needed to do.   instead, i dropped of my car, started to walk back home, got picked up by kaela on the road, dropped her off 35 mins late to class, waited in the parking lot 4 30 mins, brought her to lunch @ isobune, went shopping 4 a long time @ walgreen's then sun valley.   shopping @ sun valley got very, very stressful; but we earned a free ticket to northstar 4 spending so much.   i'm gonna rush my story here cos i gotta go.   we came home, n' i cooked dduhkbokki n' watched tv.   ok, i gotta go now. :)

301a: well, i guess i'm up late.   after werk, i came home, i took a brief nap, then went to taekwondo practice.   there, we were s'pposed to stuff envelopes 4 the upcoming uc open taekwondo championships, but the posters we were gonna send out didn't arrive.   it took me so frickin' long to find parking 'gain.   *sigh* i hate basketball game nites!   ppl always snag the "rsf only" parking meters even tho' they're not s'pposed to.   i wish they'd all get parking tickets, but they don't.   geez, i should like smash their windshields... or 'least throw eggs @ their cars! grrr!   it's so annoying n' so unjust! *sigh* well, taekwondo werkout was very open werkout.   i tried to get good exercise n' werk on some demo kicks.   i tried to do exercises good 4 snowboarding.   i did lots'f squats n' lots'f jumps n' lots of jumping n' spinning.   i can't wait to go snowboarding!!!

so originally, the beautiful kaela kang n' i were hoping to go to mammoth on our way down to chino this christmas; but that was when we didn't know that mammoth is very far east of berkeley n' not much south of us @ all!   crazy! i didn't realise i had cali4nia geography so skrewed up! *sigh* well, if we were to do that trip, it'd take us a day to drive to mammoth n' 'nother day to drive to chino.   i'm talkin' 'bout long days full of lots'f driving!!! i dunno if we can do that; i doubt it.   i wonder what grace has to say 'bout it.   in ne case, we can go to mt. baldy or big bear or mountain high down in socal.   kaela's family lives so close to it!   ah, it pays off to live in the boonies! :-)   i can't wait to go snowboarding!

so we have quite an eventful winter ahead of us! besides li'l snowtrips here n' there n' the christimas trip, my dad's sending us to taiwan to c my relatives! wow! kewl.   well, we'll be gone from dec 29 to jan 09.   i gotta submit my vacation time asap. man, i hope my office can deal w/ it.   i really need this break.   even tho' we went to cancun in the summer, i feel very due 4 a vacation.   it's been a stressful autumn @ werk, i guess.   i guess winter doesn't officially start till dec 21.   ah, but having the christmas tree right here in our living room makes it feel like winter! it feels good to have the tree!   i usually get such winter depression.   maybe this tree w/ its pretty lites'll help.   u gotta c it.   i wish u could c it.   i don't mean to say, "oh, we're so kewl! we have a kewl tree."   i'm just so happy we have it. :-)   it's just a li'l simple thing.   i can't wait to go snowboarding. :-) n' dang! we're going to taiwan! that's gonna be very kewl!

right now, i'm sitting @ my "desk" in the living room typing to u.   on my windows media player, i'm listening to amber's "one more night," the house/club song.   i like it.   it's not new, but i like it.   u know, i really like this latest lee junghyun album magic go to my star.   sure, the title's grammar doesn't make much sense; i figure it's just poetic. :-) it's a kewl album.   eh, sure it's got its pop britney spears crap moments... which i know many of u hate... but it's got lots'f tranceish, creative stuff 2.   honestly, it's much more popish than her previous stuff, which cmed to me to be more tranceish, but i like it.   i'm glad to hear more korean female vocalists taking on more of a mature, alluring, sexy style instead of just cutesy.cutesy, anime stuff!   i mean, like compare park jiyoon's "suhnginshik" to fin.k.l.'s "nae namjachingooeigei," right? heh.   last nite, i dled diva's "ddakiya."   i saw them sing it on tv last fri right when johnny came over, right b4 our pasta potluck thing.   last fri was a good day.   i hope 2day turns out well.

i'm gonna bring my car in 4... *sigh* 60,000 mile service. yah, i know it's crazy that my car's already @ 60k.   well, my ex.cowerker, the electrical engineer, when i told him the mileage on my car, saying that it was so insanely high, he nonchalantly sed it was perfectly normal.   according to him, the avg person puts on 15k/yr on his/her car, so i'm not 2 far above avg.   erm, actually i do still think i'm quite a bit above avg, in that respect!   hrm... :-/ *sigh* they really gotta move my company to berkeley! >:-( maybe i'll do a li'l christmas shopping 2morrow.   on sun, i'll c my sister in san jo.

well, 2nite, after practice, after i dropped off laura, raymond bought kaela n' me boba.   kaela wasn't there, but i brought it home to her.   mmm, it was good.   ah, i hope boba's good in taiwan! :-) now i'm listening to an old 80s song, shona laing's "soviet snow."   *sigh* this song is from like when i was in 8th grade, i think.   that was uh... 1988/89!   have ne of u even ever heard of shona laing?!?!   well, b4 i left the rsf, after i showered, i called kaela n' asked her to bake a frozen pizza 4 dinner.   after i was home 4 a few mins, i smelled sumpthin' burning.   :-) upes.   well, we salvaged what we could. it's ok.   we watched tv, of course.   heh, i bag on tv so much, but i gotta watch simpsons n', since there's nuthin' else to do, i watch whatever comes afterwards.   u know, sometimes i really relate to this joe the electrician character on news radio. i know what it's like to be the only or 'least 1 of few technical person/ppl in an office.   ok, now i'm listening to 'nother shona laing song "glad i'm not a kennedy." ah, man... do ne of u know these songs? now it's 334a.   why do i have so much energy to be actually awake?!?!?!?! well, 2nite's practice made me feel good.   i felt like i got exercise, much needed exercise.   man, lack of exercise was making me feel so lethargic, so lackluster!   when i exercise, sometimes i just feel so alive!   on my way to the lockerroom, i ran into my 4mer taekwondo student, this guy noe torres.   a couple'f weeks 'go i ran into him @ the emeryville compusa.   we chatted a bit.   now i'm listening to finkl's "white."   sure, it's really cutesy, but it's christmasy/wintery. eh!   hrm... i hope kaela's studying in our bedroom.   i hope she hasn't fallen asleep.   i hear her playing mp3s.   if our 'puters were netwerked, i could send her an instant msg! ha ha. :-)

416a: hrm, i should go to sleep.   well, i hope i can share some pics w/ u soon! *shrug* i hope i can. :-)

hibernation dreams

not noon yet: *sigh* the cold weather in berkeley n' the cold temperature in our apt is bad.   it's hard to get things done, n' i'm very terrified 'bout cing this month's pg&e bill.   we use the heater 'lot, but our apt has poor insulation, so we need to.   we do bundle up! we wear sweaters, jackets, scarves, beanies in our apt, but we still need the heater. *sigh* i get so cold that i just want to hibernate like a bear.   winter weather w/o snowboarding is just not worth it!!!!

here's a song i wrote 4 u:

take me out to the snow park
take me out to the slopes
take me out to the snow park
take me out to the slopes
i wanna do jumps n' catch big air
if we never come home, i don't cm to care
take me out ot the snow park
take me out to the slopes...

i hope if u read my journal in the middle of the day, u do 'member to check it 'gain later in the day in case i add more.   i hope u'll sign the latest version of my gbook.   btw, maybe i have bought the beautiful kaela kang her christmas present, maybe not.   i just wanna hear phil/pkjai, thanks 4 signing 'gain!   man, i really should change my index page pic, huh?   i wanna updatechu guys w/ some new pics.   kaela's taken so many pics w/ her digital elph, but she doesn't upload them onto the web. *sigh* i'd really love to share new pics w/ u!   maybe someday, i'll borrow the office digicam n' take some pics 4 u.

well, last nite, i didn't have a 2 hr commute. phew! i picked kaela up from yali's café.   we went home n' cooked gnocchi w/ veggie sauce.   kaela made smoothies.   after we ate, we picked up this yellow belt gurl kim n' went to any mountain to buy some things using kaela's tahoe card 4 a 10% discount.   i can't wait to go snowboarding!!!!   *breathe* it was raining last nite.   cold, dark, rainy nites can be a li'l inconvenient n' uncom4table.   it was pretty cold.   *sigh* but maybe this is the beauty of winter.   should i just enjoy it?   well, i'd enjoy it more if i weren't worrying so much 'bout our pg&e bill.   last nite, i installed more software on my 'puter.   it's like moving into a new apt., u know?   i'm making my 'puter a home. :-) i'm trying to settle into it.   1 big task 4 me when i move into a new 'puter is to get rid of all the capitalization on the windows start menu.   1nce i get all my handspring software installed n' all my musik/dj software installed, i'll feel @ home on my 'puter. :-) "...n' it feels like home." (madonna's "like a prayer")

[later] afternoon: i went to the larkspur landing togo's n' ate a small #3 turkey n' (swiss) cheese sandwich combo 4 lunch.   this lunch, altho' simple n' overpriced, really satisfied me.   true, i prefer spicy fud; but somehow i really enjoyed this meal. *shrug* well, b4 lunch, jerome called me n' mentioned that he's rebuilding bronx's forums 4 peter/bronx.   kewl.   hrm... :-/ during lunch, i was trying to remember my past a li'l.   u know, there was that 1tym that a bunch of taekwondo p.crewers went to mare island to play paintball, n' we went w/ a bunch of hapkido club ppl n' some of josh's cowerkers 2.   i was thinking, "hey, wait! that was 1tym where we had a bunch'f future p.crew ppl w/ me n' vivian back when me n' vivian were still going out, right?" isn't that weird?   i think josh started the idea w/ his cowerkers.   then we invited the taekwondo club n' hapkido club.   weird.   that was @ the very end of me n' vivian's relationship.   i'm not remembering this wrong, right?   we only went to mare island _1nce_, right?   that time, owen went n' locked his keys in the car; supermike went; dave yee was there in a blue n' green warm up jacket n' kept shooting me; we stopped @ pinole in.n.out afterwards, right?! i'm not combining 2 days, right?   this really happened, right?   i checked my old journal, but i didn't write 'bout it.   i know that, @ home, i have some pics.   i know the p.crew went p.balling a 2nd time in the santa cruz mtns, n' some old leland friends came w/ ken n' grace.   that time i had jeff kao n' al liu there, n' i told them that they look alike.   they couldn't really disagree 2 much cos they do.   it's funny when that happens, isn't it?   like, i 'member there was some guy from the brooklyn, ny that came to berkeley 4 the summer 1 yr n' was in iv (intervarsity christian fellowship), n' he looked just like toby!   we introduced the 2 to each other 1 nite when we went clubbing, i think.   the couldn't deny that they looked alike!   it was toby w/ a brooklyn accent.   i think his name was herman or sumpthin'.   i 4get.   *sigh* neway, that paintballing trip to the santa cruz mtns; that was on halloween of 1998, i believe.   that day, andy crashed his car.   *sigh* don't those days cm so far 'way in the past now?   weird, huh?   days go by, i get older.   i wasn't even still in college then; i was already graduated.   now i'm reflecting on my post college days; thinking that i'm doing that makes me feel old.   weird weird weird.

afternoon: good afternoon.   those of u who signed my updated gbook, thanks!   that includes: the beautiful kaela kang, kyungmin/moonbabie, n' darren/idigu. :-) well, kaela was pretty pissed that i ragged on ally. *sigh* well, i was ragging on most american tv, in that sense.   i just don't like that much programming i c on commercial tv these days. in a letter to darren, this morn, i wrote: "i wonder how many (straight) guys actually watch ally.   :-/ what i really hate 'bout [american] tv is shows that just play off of n' perpetuate stereotypes n' overplayed assumptions. what i mean by that is, how much more do we hafta be preached to that most guys r sleazy horndogs, that there'll always be a beautiful, superficial bitch in our social group, that guys who dress well r gay, n' that minorities (other than blacks) or ppl who deviate from the norm just plain don't exist?!"   while watching the trailer to not another teen movie, i'm always really amused by this "token black character."   it's all 2 true! u c it 2 often! they gotta put a minority character in, so they put in a token black guy, n' they want him to appeal to the audience as ur "stereotypical" black guy, so he's gotta say things like "daaaayaaam," "that's tight," "now that's what ahm talkin' 'bout," etc... 2 true.   neway, sure i dissed ally, n' i still don't like the show.   however, i didn't mean to say that it just so much sucks in comparison to the rest of what's on american tv.   i'm saying in general, american tv sucks.   i dunno.   am i just not ur avg guy? am i just not normal?! *shrug* dunno. am i just cyncical? no, i'm not cynical.   i hate cynicism.   however, i guess this is why cynical ppl cm to gravitate 2wards me.

u know what i mean, right? 4 example, back freshman yr, i was sitting alone in music 27.   i think i had met toby by then, but we just weren't really tight friends yet. this guy came n' sat next to me, a relatively tall, blonde, preppy looking guy.   neway, the prof lectures 'bout some opera, i think, describing the romantic love story behind it.   my neighbouring classmate scoffs @ everything the professor sez in the narration. "teh, she loves him..." "teh, true love..." "he killed himself 4 her? teh!"   scoff, scoff, scoff n' many rolls of his eyes.   that's cynicism, u know?   n' somehow he assumed i was agreeing w/ his scoffs n' rolling my eyes 2.   why?   how could he assume that?   he saw a long, purple haired asian guy dressed all in black, w/ a morrissey t.shirt on, so he must be a big cynic, eh?   isn't morrissey quite the flowery romanticist?   i just looked like some1 disgruntled w/ society, right? an outcast? a rebel? angstridden young adult? *shrug* dunno. neway, i'm not that kind of cynic.   am i cynical @ all?   :-/ i try not to be; but am i? *shrug*   i think cynical ppl gravitate 2wards me.

when i 1st met josh (my ex.roommate), i didn't think he was cynical, but a coupl'a months later, i sed, "geez, u'r cynical!" n' he replied, "didn'tchu know that?   couldn'tchu tell?   that's the 1st thing most ppl say to me."   hrm, well, i'm not a cynic.   maybe cynical ppl think i'm so much not a cynic that they're curious 'bout me.   what's that guy so happy 'bout?   if i stand next to "that happy guy" maybe i'll shake this cynicism n' be happy. *shrug* cynical ppl'll say that optimistic ppl r stoopid.   i guess in a battle of putdowns, the cynic'll win. the cynic'll say that the optimist is stoopid.   the optimist'll say that the cynic just hasn't realised yet how the world can be a better place.   well, who won the putdown contest?   the cynic.   the cynic is better @ being mean.   do u always hafta be mean to be right?   do u always hafta be depressing to be right?   do u always hafta assume the worst to be right?   is it always better to say u can't do it n' prove urself wrong instead of thinking optimistically from the start? *sigh* oh well.

send $1 to the happy guy. (simpsons) am i really that happy?   some ppl say i look so happy.   what if i disappoint u?   i'm not always that happy.   i'm not always that happy.   sure, i get frustrated, sad, angry, annoyed, stressed... i can be mean 2.   on my drive back from the village mall, where i strolled after having a burrito from la salsa there, i saw that the marsh was full of these li'l, li'l, li'l puffy waterburdies.   they were like a aquatic version of a sparrow.   i dunno what they r, but they sure r cute!   i don't wanna be a grouch.

last nite, it took me 2 hrs to get home.   i left my office @ 730p n' got home @ 930p.   i heard that there was a hole in the richmond bridge, n' caltrans was per4ming emergency repairs.   i had werk to do, so i just stayed late.   when i left @ 730p, i searched 4 a shortcut, but didn't find 1. *sigh* 'round 800p, i thought 'bout just eating dinner in marin county, but then i heard on the radio that the repairwerk was done, so i just getting pushing on... well, if u can call it pushing on... it was more like saving my place in line, i guess.   it was an awful commute.   maybe i should tally up the number of times that my commute takes over an hr n' then quit when i c that my avg commute time is 2 much.   ha! well, it's not like i'd love to be in the job market, right now, right?   well, shoot... who isn't in the job market?   the cynic'd say that we're all either laid off or waiting to be laid off.   how awful! i was starving by the time i got home.   kaela got home just b4 me.   we were both hungry.   she wrapped some presents.   it was so cold in our apt.   i dread that pg&e bill!!!   *breathe* well, we decided to go out to eat n' then grocery shop.   by the time we hit the streets, almost everything was closed!   it was past 1000p.   we decided to go to koryo sootbool, which we know is open till 200a.   on the way, we say jeanna (kaela's sister), i picked her up, n' took them out to dinner.   we had winter fud: i ordered suhlruhngtang, kaela ordered haejanggook, n' jeanna ordered mandoogook.   it was a warm dinner.   we discussed, kaela's n' my idea to drive down 4 christmas via mammoth.   i gotta consult w/ my sister n' steve if that's a good/viable idea.   i assume much of it depends on the weather conditions along route 395.   yahoo sez the trip from mammoth to chino'll take over 8 hrs.   crazy! we'll c.   i'm glad christmas eve n' new yr's eve r company holidays this yr. good good good.

after dinner, we dropped jeanna off @ kroeber hall.   we wanted to go to safeway, but it was almost midnite, 2 late 4 shattuck/northside safeway.   we had to go to albany/solano safeway.   :-/ hrm... what happened to the days when i'd/we'droutinely make late nite trips to party safeway?   hrm... it cms like i just don't have energy nemore or sumpthin'.   what's going on???   dang, it's so cold these days!   i bought kaela a scarf yesterday during lunch.   she wore it last nite.   i wore my scarf, which she had previously been borrowing.   i wore my scarf to werk 2day.   i think my cowerker, previously from boston, is silently laffing inside 'bout the cali4nia boy who can't take this mild chill n' hast'a wear a scarf.   i'm in the market 4 a fashionable, more.than.casual, non.athletic beanie / warm.fuzzy hat.

i'm guessing it was cos'f my 3.5 doughnut diet yesterday.   i felt so grouchy by the time evening came.   it was so cold last nite.   i left the office, drove back to berkeley, picked up the beautiful kaela kang from werk, n' went home.   we had pasta w/ leftover sauce from fri's party 4 dinner.   we both werked on our 'puters: kaela finished installing her dvd/cdrw drive, n' i got my 'puter all set up w/ winxp running on the big drive, etc.   sorry, linux fan.   even tho' winxp's interface looks very juvenile n' cartoonish, as ken pted out; it does cm to be functioning pretty robustly.   i werked on my 'puter.   we watched boston public, n' afterwards kaela watched ally.   i don't like ally.   1st of all, i really think there r 2 many lawyer, doctor, n' cop shows (n' needs to be more engineer / dj / martial artist shows).   2nd, *sigh* i dunno it just bugs!   i don't like that curly hair dorky guy.   in fact, i don't like that other dorky guy, or that other 1, or that other 1... j/k 3rd, maybe i don't like cing ppl being such tight, close friends @ werk: every1 knows i'm so antisocial @ werk.   maybe i just wanna separate bizness n' pleasure; maybe it's just that every1 else is so much older than me. *shrug* neway, 4th, i don't like the ppl on the show; they just bug.   they just cm so... grrr... like they rn't the kind'f ppl i wanna watch on tv.   *sigh* i think they're unhip, aging yuppies that think they're kewler than they really r n' that should get on w/ their lives instead of acting like they're still in hi skool.   hrm... well, that's similar to what i used to think 'bout the characters on friends, that they were bunch of ppl older than me that act like they're a bunch of hi skool kids.   'bout the characters on friends, i really thought they were so immature n' should get on w/ their lives.   but now that i'm older, when i c the reruns of friends i don't feel that so much.   i guess i realise that ppl rn't that settled down in their mid to late 20s.   well, frick... i guess american tv just offends me so much, n' it's time 4 me to write some letters to all the netwerks telling them that all their shows suck except 4 the simpsons, maybe x.files, n' some star trek episodes.   hrm, what else can i tolerate?   hrm... :-/ hrm... i really can't think of much! nightly local news... ne coverage of snowboarding competitions, shows 'bout animals in nature, most cooking shows, some travel shows, some british sitcoms... hrm... i should just watch pbs, huh?   :-) oh! buffy! i can tolerate buffy!   mmm, i used to be somewhat able to tolerate 90210; weird, huh?   what else? uhm... hrm... :-/ i didn't mention that, sometime last week, kaela n' i watched the j.lo concert on tape?   how come she reminds me so much of janet jackson now?   hrm... what else can i tolerate watching? how 'bout blind date? oh yah.

*sigh* neway, 'nuff ranting 'bout how tv sucks!   i'm glad my 'puter's geting better, healing.   shoot, i'm very scared to c this month's pg&e bill!   *sigh* :-( kaela burned her 1st cdrw on her new dvd/cdrw drive.   i'm trying to find a way to make her dvd drive regionfree, but i don't think there is. *sigh* 'least i can tolerate american movies better than i can tolerate american tv. yup.   what movies do i want to c?   lord of the rings, oceans 11, not another teen movie... i wouldn't mind checking out spy game n' the one, even tho' so many pppl hated the one.   hrm... so on.line i'm reading that jackie chan'll have 2 movies coming out in the near future: the tuxedo n' highbinders. kewl.   vanilla sky... hrm, i wonder what that's 'bout.   movies, i guess i like watching movies.   hrm... it cms like such a sedentary activity, huh?   'least it gets ppl out of their houses... well, if they go to the theatre, that is.

so it's december!   christmas shopping! aaaaah!   i'm getting nervous.   [a li'l later] thanks 4 signing my gbook, guys.   u know what? i changed the questions 'gain, so please go n' sign it 'gain please!

"december."   isn't the name of this current month just somehow so poetic?   like, u can name a pop song "december," butchu can't really name a song "november."   i dunno why i thought of that name 4 a song.   i think there's a korean song that has a korean name, but the english name is "december."   i think it's turbo's "hwesang," but maybe i'm wrong.   i think jerome'd know.   well, it's late mon morn after a bizzy, bizzy, bizzy weekend.   i toldju i'd have a bizzy weekend, n' i was 100% correct.   heh, i don't mean to gloat that i was right, n' i don't mean to brag that i'm just such an active guy or nething like that.   i had a bizzy weekend.   sure, i 2 have journal/blog entries that say "i didn't do much," etc., right?   i was just thinkin' 'bout that cos i visited khoi / "maverick(vns)" 's website: "khoi's jive talkin' again."   khoi is the most recent vistor to sign my gbook.   thanks khoi! :-)   3 ppl signed my gbook this weekend.   thanks, guys!   the 3 r khoi, sheeny (an old family friend), n' matt easton.   i'm always happy to hear from matt!   i always think the jenny thing's 2nd album closer and closer to less is a good album 4 wintertime.   i dunno if he can elaborate on this, but i'm guessing he/they wrote this album in the wintertime.

well, so... how was ur weekend?   mine was... bizzy.   well, i toldju 'bout the djing etc.   i can pick up from sun, right?   well, lemme tell u... *breathe* man! there is so much scandalous, juicy romance/relationship stuff going on 'mongst the ol' p.crew members, my friends, etc.   *sigh* wow!   however, most of this stuff is way to hot 4 me to talk 'bout in my journal.   all apologies, but no way!   the only piece of juicy news i think i could possibly in good conscience divulge is that supermike has a gf! :-) heh heh.   good job, supermike!   well, as u guessed, i did get to c supermike yesterday.   well, lemme start from the beginning of the day filled w/ hearty fud, which made this weekend completely full of hearty eating!   well, we woke up late.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i didn't really start our day till 'bout 130p.   i guess my fon wasn't getting a signal in my room cos i didn't know 'bout the 2 v.mails i got from jerome n' joon till i started to call jerome.   then it beeped saying that i had v.mail.   neway, i had planned to take joon down to the milpitas store to get a new fon, right?   well, yup, i did.   or upes! no, i didn't.   jerome was nice 'nuff to drive us down.   what a good guy!   such a refreshing change to get to sit in the backseat n' just ride, not drive!   oooh... ah.... wow!   i'm always driving!   but it was nice to be a passenger.   i guess, in comparison to some other ppl, i enjoy driving.   i used to love it soooo much, but... *sigh* since i graduated college, the novelty finally wore off a li'l.   it's funny... u'd think the "novelty" 'd wear off like 1 or 2 yrs after i got my license, but no.   i guess i didn't get to drive much during college, but after i graduated, i had to drive to werk every, frickin', single day.   also i drove so much 4 p.crew activities.   josh always tried to get out of driving.   the fun of driving wore a bit thin.   well, i still like driving more than ppl who hate driving. :-) heh, what a weak statement, huh?   ha ha. however, really, i do like driving past beautiful scenery.   i do like driving w/ good musik playing.   i like driving past natural scenery.   i like driving past cosmopolitan scenery.   i like driving.   it's like what i sed in my beno at the crossroads page/piece/composition.   *breathe* yah, i like driving ok, but eh! riding in the back of jerome's car was fun.

neway!!! man! i really got off topik!!!   we took off south in jerome's car.   we stopped @ the tacobell/kfc combo joint on telly by koko house.   i ordered the 3 strip meal, but later they in4med me that they were out of strips, so i sed they could give me hot wings instead.   they gave me plenty of them, i guess to make up 4 not having my 1st choice.   man... i ate so much fried fud yesterday, i guess.   i had that n' also had a krispy kreme doughnut on the way back up.   ugh!   crazy!   'member... kaela n' i had a heartily.sized lunch @ kirala on fri, had plenty @ our pasta potluck on fri nite, had a big buffet dinner after the promotional exam on sat, had kfc/tacobell 4 sun lunch... n' then we had this jumbo korean feast @ jonggajip w/ supermike n' friends!!!   whoa!!!

yah, we met up @ jonggajip.   i guess erin picked the restaurant.   i was sort'f surprised we ended up @ a korean place.   i thought supermike would've wanted burmese or indian fud, but 'pparently the korean fud in his area of virginia sucks just as bad as the other so.called ethnic fud out there, so he was happy to get some real korean fud.   well, apparently he doesn't hafta put up w/ virginia nemore.   his startup company fired him.   apparently it was totally unjust.   wow!   wow wow wow.   a long time 'go, when he 1st took the job, he mentioned that his employer found him thru my web page.   yah, supermike is a good engineer, n' i know he'd be a good addition to ne company.   wow, i can't believe his hologram company booted him like that, but man! i'm glad he's back in cali, even tho' he's gonna be in socal.   ah... good to have s.mike back in the golden state! :-) we'll hang out w/ him down in socal when we get down there.   ah, what a crazy feast!   geez, leave it up to joon!   4 just s.mike, roland, joon, kaela, n' me, we had maewoondalk, nakji bokkeum, buhsuht soondubu, minuhgui, n' dwaenjang jjigae.   also the restaurant threw in an order of pajuhn, n' 'nother 4 the other table 4 our party... prob'ly cos our table ordered so much. crazy.   so much fud!   *sigh*

well, after we came home from dinner, i installed kaela's new hp dvd/cdrw drive.   did i mention that it came in via ups on fri? i think i did.   well, the installation was a li'l tricky.   man, i'm so used to werking w/ scsi that ide cms so 4eign to me!!! of course, ide is simpler, but it's just so 4eign to me after dealing w/ all this scsi stuff on my 'puter.   i think the dvd/cdrw drive is werking but i didn't get to test out more than it's cdrom capability.   i didn't feel like writing a cdrw w/o consulting kaela 1st.   she was passed out, asleep.   i didn't have ne dvd to test.   hrm, we gotta find a way to hack it to play both american n' asian dvds!!!

well, readers, thanks 4 signing my gbook.   sometimes journal/blog readers sign journal writers' gbooks when they know the writers r feeling down.   roger/maxpower mentioned this in his blog: roger's blog.   he sed that, after he complained 'bout the bad things happening in his life, he got lots'f gbook entires, so he jokingly wondered if he should write more negative stuff. heh heh.   well, i haven't been talking that much 'bout negative stuff, right? have i? :-\ hrm...   well, i'm so glad to hear from my readers.   i'm glad ppl visit n' communicate w/ me whether my life is good or bad.   thank u.

i was thinkin' 'bout how friends often gather to com4t a guy or gurl right after a break up.   i guess i'm glad that the p.crew ppl were there 4 me in the days following the vivian break up.   i know we tried our best to be there 4 s.mike after his bianca break up.   as i sed b4, i always feel bad 4 not being there 4 chals after breaking up w/ sandy... :-(   4 erin? *sigh* well, shoot... honestly, i felt a li'l not welcome to hang out w/ the group that hung out w/ erin when she broke up w/ her ex.   well, erin's a friend of mine. true, she's not like my closest friend.   i am glad to c her tho'. neway, yah, if erin really wanted a close group of friends during that time n' didn't think i was really "close," then yah... i don't really mind that much, but eh! it's just not a pleasant thing to talk 'bout... neway, it's just sumpthin' i was thinkin' 'bout, this idea of friends' flockin' to com4t a guy or gurl after a break up.... thought 'bout cos'f sumpthin' that happened w/ the ol' p.crew bunch recently, i guess.   :-) as i sed, i'm not here to gossip, so i won't elaborate!

man, i brought 2 krispy kremes to my office 4 breakfast.   then some1 else brought 2 dozen krispy kremes.   i had a 3rd.   ugh! what is going on?!?!?!

[later, in the afternoon] so... all i've eaten 2day is 3 doughnuts.   argh! donut diet?!?!?! this ain't right!   *sigh* this afternoon, kaela bought this creative labs nomad jukebox c.   it's a mp3 player w/ a 6gb hard drive in it.   it's $159.99 after rebate @ buy.com.   heh, of course, if u buy it, use my link! :-)   4 $10 more, u can get headfons n' a case included.   4 $130 more, u can get the 20gb version. heh heh.   neway, if u want 1, there it is.

246a: man, it's been a bizzy weekend so far!!!!!   whoa whoa whoa!!!   the promo ceremonies was 2day (meaning yesterday, dec 1).   what a crazy day!   i woke up pretty on time, but nervous raymond kept calling my cellfon asking when i'd pick him up, since he was so nervous 'bout getting to the rsf early 4 his 1dan test.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i picked up raymond n' romy n' went to the rsf, parked underground.   raymond gave me $5 to buy a $6 parking permit 4 the day.   we went up; we were on time; no biggie.   dr. min had the black belt mtg.   he sed some very profound things 'bout how taekwondo is a martial art, so we gotta stop ppl from turning it into another fighting sport like pro boxing or pro wrestling... or even like amateur boxing or wrestling.   it's very true!   i'm glad dr. min talked 'bout it.   i firmly believe it.   well, the promotests were kewl.   dr. min had the 1dan candidates go 1st, then the 2dan candidates n' dr. choy, the 3dan candidate.   it's funny cos jeff wang was testing 4 his 2dan w/ mike shea, while dr. choy was testing 4 his 3dan.   i tested 4 my 1dan w/ jeff n' 4 my 2dan w/ dr. choy.   raymond, romy, n' pam tested 4 their 1dan.   it went pretty well.   they all had rather comprehensive, complete tests!   they all had to break boards n' do some kind of sparring, etc.   then we graded the colour belt tests.   i judged the yellow belts n' then a pair of blue/reds.   it took a long time.   i was so hungry n' so cold!   after we finally finished, raymond, kaela, n' i went home to get ready to go to this pizza dinner thing that the oldtime team members were putting on.   we ended up missing it cos we took 2 long n' couldn't find parking.   stoopid parking!   well, we ate dinner @ shogun sushi buffet, which also has korean bbq.   well, u know, i realised 2nite that it's a real korean version of hot pot city; pretty much the same stuff.   the sushi there has pretty big cuts of fish!   mmm! we were so stuffed!   bulgogi, kalbi, dalkgui, dwaeji bulgogi... mmmm!   i felt good eating well to compensate 4 the fact that we couldn't go to the pizza dinner.   i didn't wanna starve n' suffer so much.   neway, sterling called me up just as we got home to load up my dj gear.   she was so panicked cos it was almost 900p, n' i sed i'd be over @ her co.op to setup to dj the taekwondo party @ 800p.   upes! eh! it all werked out perfectly fine!   ppl were fashionably late, as i expected!   man! i djed 4 4 hrs straight! phew!!!   man, it was really fun to dj like that 'gain, but it was hard werk.   i haven't djed so intensely since college, i think.   i 4got that college students like hip hop so much, as hyun keeps complaining 'bout.   i guess, since i hung out w/ chals n' sandy so much b4, i started thinking that all college kids like trance n' tekno, but i guess not nemore... ppl r all back into r&b n' hip hop. *shrug* when i was in college n' djing all thos iv (intervarsity christian fellowship) parties, i bought so many hip hop cds.   i 4got that i had.   but i had to play "clean" hip hop back then. heh heh.   ppl complained that i didn't have much fresh, new hip hop.   actually, i did have this 1 burned cd from mp3s of all sorts'a new hip hop that kaela found 4 me, but i couldn't find it!   i had the case, but not the cd!   neway, it was fine... man! i am so impressed that these taekwondo ppl, of all ethnicities, mostly not korean, a good deal non.asian, were very receptive of all the korean gayo musik i played! only garth complained 1nce, but eh! i just sort'f laffed it off.   i mean, i didn't play all korean musik, by far! however, i did put in a healthy amt!   wow, these ppl r kewl! i give 'em a thumbs up!   even tho' it cms like i hang 'round mostly asians; really, it's not that i don't wanna hang 'round non.asians.   i really appreciate non.asians that have open minds 'bout culture.   i don't like hangin' 'round non.asians that don't respect asian culture.   i guess, honestly, when i'm 'round asian ppl that r narrowminded 'bout other cultures, altho' i'm a li'l irked by it, i can sort'f tolerate it cos they rn't directly offending me or offended by me... of course, it's best if every1 had open minds! :-)

man, it was storming so much 2nite!!!   fri was a clear day, but i guess it started raining on fri nite.   sat nite (by "2nite," i meant sat nite), it was storming! right now, it's storming! crazy!   wow wow wow!   it was a li'l nasty, moving all my dj equipment in the rain.   still, it was ok.   ah, what a fun party! ppl had a good time, i think.   ha ha, it was fun watching ppl hit on each other / get hit on / etc. heh heh... some ppl got so wild. *sigh* ah, what a fun time! :-)

well, supermike is in town n' staying @ jefflyn's place.   *sigh* *shake head* of course, he wouldn't come out to the taekwondo party. *sigh* that's the supermike of yesteryrs. *sigh* well, i hope to c him 2morrow or sometime.   but man... what happend to the funloving, let's go out n' party supermike?   he used to be more open to meeting new ppl, etc.   u know i don't like doing the clique thing, but eh! i do wanna be friends w/ supermike, so i'll put up w/ the clique environment just to c him hopefully sometime this week.   u know my policy: i hang out w/ whoever wants to hang out w/ me.   i don't need to play dumb games 'bout oh those ppl rn't "cool enough" 4 our group, those ppl rn't "mature" 'nuff 4 our group. *sigh* oh well.   neway, i do hope to c supermike.

man! it's really storming now! crazy! it's 319a now.   ok, i'll go do sumpthin' else soon.   so 2day, i'm s'pposed to take joon to buy a new fon.   i hope that's still on.   i wanna c joon.

757a: i'm on the beautiful kaela kang's 'puter, early in the morn.   man, i worry 'bout the pg&e bill.   it's been so cold in our apt, parly due to very cold weather, partly due to poor insulation of our apt.   we've had to use the in.wall, room heater quite a bit.   *sigh* i'm scared to c the bill.   2nite, we're hosting a "pasta party" or "past potluck."   there'll be a few ppl @ our place.   maybe the bodies will warm the apt n' make the heater unnecessary.   hope so.   i'm scared to c the pg&e bill.

last nite, after practice, a bunch'f us ate dinner @ shk (sun hong kong, the hk restaurant on shattuck in berkeley).   who was there? a group of 9: jeff wang, jerome, laura, roland, clarence, johnny, raymond, kaela, n' me.   it was the 1st time in a while we went out to eat w/ a decent sized group, huh?   it felt a li'l reminiscent of the ol' p.crew.   i was @ werk so late last nite, b4 practice.   kaela n' i didn't get to buy a tree. *sigh* however, we can buy a tree 2day.   i hafta be home btw 200p n' 500p to intercept kaela's ups delivery that tried to get here yesterday.   it's her new hp dvd/cd.rw drive.   well, i'm glad 1 of us'll have a werking burning by the end of 2day, right?   well, i'll werk on my 'puter some more 2day.

i wanna thank bernard huang 4 signing my gbook.   it's good to hear from u!

[later] 722p: so it's been a while now, but hey!!! i fixed my 'puter!!!! well... "fixed."   i managed to install win xp from that scratched cd! i used my plextor cd.r drive instead of my plextor ultraplex reader.   right now, i'm logged in from my 'puter, w/ a amd athlon 1ghz w/ 512mb ram, using (all apologies) win xp.   this is my "temporary" setup.   i'm in the process of backing up all my important files to zip disk n' then i'll 4mat my big drive n' redo this win xp installation on that drive.   i wanted to burn my files onto cdr, but it won't werk cos my 2.0 gb drive, after installing winxp, doesn't have enuf room to make the temporary files that winxp wants to make when u use its cd burner program.   i can't use easy cd creator cos it's not compatible w/ win xp.   i heard 'bout that from many ppl already, but i didn't really realise the significance of it.   oh! n' kaela's dvd/cdrw drive came in via ups a few mins after we got home from our kirala sushi lunch, our browsing @ any mtn, n' our christmas ornament shopping @ jack london cost plus.   did i mention that we bought a li'l christmas tree from a christmas tree lot down by the marina this morn?   we did it!   i'm having a great day. :-)   i had such a produktive afternoon.   i got the tree mounted, tidied up a li'l bit, strung up christmas lites on our balcony, fixed my 'puter...   i tried to rewire the dss setup to let me route audio thru my receiver n' audio system, but eh! it didn't really werk.   so we're gonna have a pasta party @ our place 2nite.   2morrow's the promotional exam.   we're gonna have a party @ sterling's co.op 2morrow nite, n' i'm gonna dj it.   man! crazy weekend!!!!!!!   i can't believe it!   well, 2day's been so produktive.   i'm on a good mood streak.   i want it to last.

noon, exactly (according to my office fon's lcd display): if some1 interviewed me n' asked me what i think is 1 of my biggest shortcomings, i'd say that it's that i don't delegate well but try to take on so many different tasks @ a time, so many diff projects, in so many diff fields.   in hs, i was in so many diff clubs, organisations, associations, musikal groups, etc.   in college, i really cut back.   i just studied, did taekwondo n' went to iv (intervarsity christian fellowship).   i prob'ly wasted a good deal of time doing stoopid stuff 2.   when i 1st think 'bout it, it feels weird that joon n' chals left taekwondo n' r so much into church stuff right now.   it cms awkward to me.   however, when i really think 'bout it, back when i was their ages, yah, i didn't really hang out w/ taekwondo ppl; they weren't my main crowd.   sure, i hung out w/ owen now n' then.   still, my main friends were either ppl i met in classes or the dorm or from leland hi skool; or else ppl from churchlife or intervarsity!   maybe church really helped me thru college.   really.   well, i guess nowadays i hang out w/ more taekwondo ppl.   i also hang out w/ ken n' san jo ppl n' toby... if phil were 'round i'd hang w/ phil 2.   oh! n' then there's the bjunkyard crew, of course! can't 4get them!

neway, i didn't mean to go into a discourse on who my friends r these days.   what i wanted to talk 'bout is how, @ werk 2day, i got put in charge of setting up werkstations to ship out to clients, a total "i.t." task.   well, w/ all the employee cutbacks, i'm putting on so many more hats these days!   frick, i'm doing some of my manager's job, i'm doing some of the it dept manager's job, definitely the old electrical engineer's job...   i'm definitely doing more.   it's all fun experience.   i like it, actually.   however, i do worry cos ppl'd say that it's not the best résumé building plan.   some ppl'd say an engineer's gotta specialise n' build experience in 1 specialised, narrow field.   *sigh* well, shoot...   i know... i'm a bit of a renaissance man engineer. *sigh* the prob is that i sort'f like it like this.   i like it that ppl trust my knowledge on various topiks.

[later, after lunch] so this morn, @ werk, i was werking on pure 'puter hardware stuff.   i did my 2nd power supply replacement of the week.   i dunno what's going on, why we're blowing out 'puter power supplies so frequently all of the sudden.   weird.   neway, now i've done it 2ice this week.   then i also did some other hardware mods.   well, 4 1 thing, from the 'puter i stripped the power supply 4 my cowerker's 'puter, i snagged 2 strips of ram n' put them in my (werk) 'puter.   now my werk 'puter has 512mb of ram... just like my home 'puter does... if it would only werk! >:-(   while looking @ my cowerker's 'puter i realised that if i really can't get my home system to werk, i can bring in my jumbo hard drive n' hook it up to this werk 'puter n' get all the data off of it...   if nuthin' else werks.   last nite, i had so much trouble.   well, where do i start?

1st off, i was @ werk till 700p cos'f all sorts'f probs i had to fix.   i had such a bizzy day yesterday.   as u hopefully read in my last entry ("there's no such thing as lunch."), i had a very bizzy day.   then there was such crappy traffik!   the weather was stormy, really stormy.   i think ppl were driving superslow on the richmond bridge cos they were scared they'd get blown off the side.   it took me an hr to get home.   i kept trying to call the beautiful kaela kang's cellfon, but she didn't have a signal 4 a while.   i knew i was guilty of just wanting to call some1 to whine.   that's awful.   it's uh... kind'f emotional dependency, u know?   *sigh* but she put up w/ me.   i shouldn't be like that, n' i'm sorry i was, but she put up w/ my whining 'bout my werkday, 'bout the traffik, n' 'bout how i didn't get to eat lunch.   she cooked a big dinner.   she cooked golbaengi, oyster shrooms, this japanese odaeng/oden set thing, this mackeral that her mom prepared...   man, it was so good!   it felt so good to be fed.   i feel bad cos i was like a grouchy, overwerked, werking man coming home to a devoted, industrious housewife. *sigh* i don't mean to make kaela cook 4 me, etc.   it just turned out that i was stuck @ werk really late, had to sit in traffik 4 a long time, n' well... couldn't wait to eat dinner, etc. *sigh*   really, werking late n' sitting in traffik really makes a person depressed 'bout the werking world. really!   that's sumpthin' that really makes young werking life suck.   as i've sed time n' time 'gain b4, u sit in traffik, n' u think that u'r life is literally not going newhere!   u think 'bout how when u were a student, u had the liberty to dream 'bout how ur future could be sumpthin' grand, sumpthin' great.   u have opportunities.   u have options.   u have the freedom to imagine ur future ne way u want to.   sure, u could be pessimistic n' imagine a bleak future; but 'least u have the option of imagining a nice future.   when u'r werking, u can't imagine a future cos the future is the present; the present is now, n' the future doesn't exist.   argh, well, that's a very pessimistic view, i guess.   some ppl could tell me i can imagine a future.   i'm not that trapped.   i do have things to look 4ward 2.   yah, they r right.   i can imagine how my life'll be in 10 yrs, right?   we can always imagine that. :-/ hrm...   i guess that's true.

neway, i finally got home thru the storm.   i went up, saw that kaela had started cooking, started werking on my 'puter, n' helped her a li'l.   i was so eager to werk on my 'puter cos i had dled all these boot disks n' drivers @ werk that i was sure would fix all my probs.   *sigh* well, we ate, we watched a knight's tale on dss, n' i werked on my 'puter more.   no luck!   no luck @ all!   *sigh* the 'puter's still so busted!   i e.mailed adaptec's customer help last nite.   this morn, they told me that maybe i should do a low.level format of my hd.   ok, i'll try that 2nite w/ my 2.0gb drive, the 1 i already 4matted.   raymond'll give me a new copy of win xp 2nite, i think.   it'll be win xp pro corporate edition, right?   2day, @ werk, i realised that we have a bunch'f win xp "small business" edition cds.   hrm... could i borrow 1 n' copy it?   hrm, i dunno... u know how win xp is so messed up w/ all that copy protect, hardware validation activation crap.   i dunno how the small bizness edition werks.   i wish i had stumbled 'pon some win2000 pro cds instead... *sigh* well, hrm... maybe there is. :-/ dunno.   the software programmer told me that some1 swiped our win2000 upgrade cd.   crazy, huh?   1 of the laidoff employees, but we dunno who.

[later, in the late afternoon] so i am gonna get paid 4 that buy.com purchase!   so yah... if u wanna buy nething from buy.com , please use my link! :-) [later] so it looks like i'll be taking the day off 2morrow but be getting paid 4 it.   kewl.   my cowerker almost convinced me to save that paid day off 4 another day, but kaela, last nite, was telling me to take it b4 they 4get that they owe me a day.   good enuf.   2morrow, i'll spend the day cleaning up the 'partment 4 the special taekwondo pre.test pasta party, fixing my 'puter, n' werking on dj stuff 4 sat nite's party.   sat's the promo test n' the party afterwards.   sun, i'll take joon down to ken's store to buy a fon... ken won't be there tho'.   i haven't cn joon in so long.   oh yah... jerome! thanks 4 signing my gbook! :-)   last nite, cos i came home late n' cos'f the big storm, we didn't go out n' buy a christmas tree.   we'll try to go buy 1 2nite b4 practice, if i can bust outta this dang office soon 'nuf... but i dunno if i can.   well, we always got 2morrow now that i have the day off 4 sure.   man, seriously... i wish i could go snowboarding! *sigh*   they've got some good snow up there now.   i wanna go snowboarding!!!!

[later] after practice: upes! outta time!   practice was nice.   werked on sparring stuff w/ jason n' then demo stuff on my own.   it's 1102p.   we're gonna eat soon.

afternoon: sometimes ppl say, "there's no such thing as a free lunch."   as 4 me, 2day i'm saying, "there's no such thing as lunch."   *sigh* it's been so bizzy @ werk 2day.   i didn't have time to eat lunch.   i'm trying my best to do a good job 'round here.   0.5 the company got laid off last week, n' my manager is only being paid to come in 1nce a week, so... *sigh* well, i'm doing some of his werk.   actually, to me, it's good; it's good experience.   it's a damn shame i'm not getting paid 4 doing more werk n' taking on more responsibilities, but i'm glad i have a job.

[a li'l later] i'm so hungry. :-( it's like i'm on a hunger strike or sumpthin'. :-( this is very reminiscent of my last yr @ cal.   that's when i lost 'lotta weight cos i was werkin' late in mech e lab, after taekwondo practice, w/o fud.   it's raining now in corte madera.   we're s'pposed to buy a christmas tree 2nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i.   earlier 2day, i managed to find a short break to read her latest journal entries.   she sed a few wurds 'bout how her last relationship cmed like such a waste of time.   as i just wrote 'bout my last yr of cal, staying up late in mech e lab, i started thinking 'bout how the end of my last relationship might've been a waste of time.   really, i think, when i started going out w/ vivian, what i was looking 4 was a very normal gurl.   i felt like i was very weird, coming out of my mod/punk stage, n' i wanted to associate myself w/ something more mainstream, n' i think i felt she was pretty mainstream.   hrm... if she heard that, maybe she'd be really offended; dunno. *shrug*   neway, what 'bout my 1st relationship?   definitely remaining in that relationship the last yr of it, our freshman yr of college, was a big, big, big waste of time.   what was i thinking?!   we were both freshmen in college.   we could've spent more time 1) studying, 2) meeting new ppl in our new environments, n' having fun.   i could've spent less time stressing 'bout her anorexia n' how her friends wanted her to find a new bf down in ucla. *roll eyes*   neway, to blame all my past failures on my past relationships would be a definite act of emotional dependency... retro.active emotional dependency or whatever...   kaela makes me happy! :-)

well, 2day's been a very productive day @ werk 4 me.   i feel accomplished.   i'm hungry, yah; but i feel accomplished.   i spent most of the day writing matlab code.   ah, if only my e77 prof/instructor could c me now! :-) heh.

[later] 549p: i really didn't eat lunch 2day.   darren wong (idigu) signed my gbook.   thanks, darren.   some1 else signed it.   he/she is disappointed that i switched to win xp.   i didn't.   my 'puter's a mess, but 2nite i'm gonna try to install win2k on the extra 2gb drive i have.   'member, my win xp cd is busted! it's scratched, irreparably scratched!   linux?   yah, i like the linux penguin, n' i used linux in college.   well, hey! i'm using unix right now, here on the server.   i use some pseudo linux stuff @ werk.   the only person i've cn use linux @ home is kyung (chals's old roommate) n' chas wareing (charles edward wareing iii).   i dunno how the heck they find applications!   well, kyung runs linux on a mac; chas on a pc.   i dunno if he still does.

morn: wow, nov is flying by fast.   can u believe it?   eh, we can always say time flies, right?   man, my 'puter woes continue! grr!   i started installing win xp on my 'puter last nite, to fix it the same way i miraculously fixed the beautiful kaela kang.   true, this kind of fix isn't the best fix, but it's a quick fix n' a temporary solution until we back up our data on cd n' can do a real fix.   grrr! why didn't i back up my data b4 i did this frickin' mobo (muthaboard) / cpu switch?!?! grrr!   neway, the win xp installation on my 'puter isn't finishing.   i think it might be due to a scratch in the cd that i lent to raymond n' just got back, but i dunno.   the installation stalls up right b4 it's s'pposed to finish. *sigh* what's going on?!?!?!   as days go by, i'm so tempted to just go ahead n' nuke my drive.   but no... that's not a good solution.   a better solution is to get my old, extra quantum fireball se2.1 drive n' make it the master n' make my quantum atlas 10kii a slave to it n' install ne werking version of windows on the fireball, install a burner program, burn all my crap from the atlas 10kii to cdrom, all the important stuff, that is, n' then proceed w/ the nuking/formatting/"clean install."   aha! there is a prob w/ that scratched cd!!!!   to test it, i was copying all the data from the cd to my werk 'puter's hd.   aha! the cdrom drive is having trouble finishing the copying cos there's a prob!!!!   raymond! wtf didju do to my cd?!?!?! grr! i'm gonna call him up soon!

u know, owen called me this morn to ask me 'bout the taekwondo snowtrip.   of course, he also had to mention his 2by2.net job.   what is up?!   he sounds just like those cult members!!!!   granted, he didn't ask me to join 2by.net 2day, thank goodness, but frick! he had to mention it! *sigh* it's just like listening to a cult member.   he sez stuff like, "oh my god, it's so exciting.   i'm meeting so many new ppl!"   uh... of course, if it were a cult member, it'd hafta be "oh my gosh it's so exciting," etc.   i don't really need to meet "so many new ppl."   really; if owen's enjoying it n' meeting "so many" quality ppl, then that's great 4 him, but i still firmly do not want in on 2by2.net.   i wonder if raymond's werked stuff out w/ owen n' @ least told him that he's not doing 2by2.net.   raymond sez owen pressured him to say he'll join, altho' he doesn't want to.   owen sed he didn't pressure raymond @ all, but raymond sed he'd join but isn't going back on his wurd. grr!   let's just say 2by2.net is evil, n' neither of them should be in it.   if the company's tearing 'part friends, then it's just wrong.   owen sed his supervisors were breathing down his neck 'bout raymond.   that's just wrong.   they shouldn't have!   what's w/ all the pressure on owen?!   man, owen's a good guy, normally, but 2by2.net is making him do stuff that his friends don't like.

neway... *roll eyes* so it's so frickin' cold in the bay area 2day.   'least it was very cold in berkeley n' very cold in corte madera.   it's beautifully, blue skiededly sunshiney, but it's still so cold!   last nite, i told kaela we'd go buy a christmas tree stand b4 going to practice.   we tried but couldn't find a stand 4 a small tree.   we saw plenty of stands 4 big trees but none 4 small 1s.   we ended up buying other stuff: other christmas stuff n' batteries.   2day, @ lunch (which is soon), i'll go to rite.aid n' look 4 a stand 4 a small christmas tree.   there's a christmas tree lot close to my office.   it's in the lot of an "abandoned" bldg, an abandoned bldg that was never occupied!   it was s'pposed to be the home of some company called imind.com.   as soon as i saw that name pop up @ the very end of the .com boom, right @ the bust, i had to roll my eyes.   what were they thinking?!   i researched on the net what the company was 'bout: they did, or perhaps still do, some sort of children's educational stuff.   *roll eyes*   they prob'ly should've skipped the buzzwurd company name al2gether!   neway, i don't mean to be so cynical.   sorry.   neway, the parking lot of that abandoned bldg (which is 4 lease) has a christmas tree n' wreath sale.   i'd like to go check it out, if i have time.   i'm sure the trees n' wreaths r more expensive here in marin county than in alameda county, where ppl r just better ppl. heh heh. (sort'f kidding.)   well, who knows? maybe the tree'd be cheaper here. *shrug* eventually, i'll hafta hit the corta madera village mall to do some christmas shopping.   i sort'f look 4ward to it, i sort'f dread it.   i think i might find some good gifts there.   i also think parking'll be 100x harder than it was a week 'go.   well, regardless, i'll hafta go.   i'd like to go to stanfurd mall sometime this holiday season, but eh! maybe i won't get to.   no big loss, right?   we're officially in a recession now.   uhm, does that mean i gotta be stingy?   well, i won't waste $$$, but i shall still get nice presents 4 my friends n' family!   now, if i could only find time to shop... :-/ hrm...   oh, btw, bronx's forums r down right now, so, heh, i'll be writing more here, right?   'specially since i can telnet in like this...   if it weren't 4 being able to telnet in 'gain, i'd be sort'f skrewed cos i can't hotsync my handspring right now, while my 'puter is such a wreck.   well, technically, i can; i can hotsync to kaela's 'puter, n' i have been doing so.   still, i want my 'puter to werk. :-(

[later] i wonder if there's sumpthin' wrong w/ my "commissioned sales" links.   u know... i have those buy.com links, etc.   i'm s'pposed to get a small kickback from purchases that come from my site, but man... i dunno if that's really happening!   i haven't cn my commission 4 my kds rad.5 lcd monitor purchase.   2day, buy.com has a good "price mistake of the day" deal, a compaq armada m330 laptop/"notebook."   it looks like a pretty "kick@$$" laptop 4 $999.   i e.mailed raymond 'bout it.   well, if u wanna buy 1, u gotta do it 2day, n' please do it from my link. :-)   shoot! this beats both doing 2by2.net n' begging 4 change on telly! :-)

[later, late afternoon] so during lunch, i went to the corte madera town center, had a chicken burrito 4 lunch from @ dave's tacquiera, n' shopped 4 christmas stuff @ rite.aid.   i bought a christmas tree stand 4 a smaller christmas tree, not a really small stand, but it sez it's 4 trees up to 5.5 feet.   i wonder if kaela'll approve.   it's the most appropriate 1 i've cn so far.   i also bought some cheap, cheap christmas lites: multi.coloured, indoor/outdoor lights; 100 lights, 99cents!   crazy, huh?   i'm a li'l worried tho'.   besides the fact that these r made in communist china, prob'ly by slaves in a sweatshop, 1 of the other varieties of lites made by the same compan had a label on it saying that due to prop 65 they gotta say that the wires contain lead, so u gotta wash ur hands after touching them.   hrm. :-/ so if those got poisonous lead, then what 'bout these?!   do they not contain poisonous lead, or do they just not have the sticker???   *sigh* well, we'd best be careful w/ them neway, right?   i figure kaela'll know more 'bout this stuff, being a publik health grad student n' all, right?   those lites w/ the sticker were white icicle lites.   they were also 99cents.   i also bought this cd scratch repair kit; it was like $12.99.   i wanted to repair my win xp cd.   it wasn't the kit i was looking 4.   the 1 i was hoping to find was 1 resembling this skipdr. 1.   i've cn this 1 'round, but i 4get where; most likely, compusa, since i've been hangin' out there so much lately! *sigh* well, i went back to the office n' tested out the maxell cd/cd.rom repair kit i bought.   grr! it didn't get the scratch out.   i tested the cd.   it still had probs!   *sigh* maybe i just wasted $13.   maybe it'll come in handy later. *shrug*

well, jeff e.mailed the taekwondo demo team n' sed that this fri's demo has been postponed till jan or feb.   whuh?! well, he warned me last nite.   he told me that dr. min n' dr. ur, the faculty, didn't have the guestlist very prepared, so it will prob'ly get cancelled.   well... :-/ that's kinda anticlimactic 4 most of the demo team members.   @ the same time, it'll give some members time to practice 4 their promotional tests.   also, it'll give me time to werk on my broken 'puter!!!! :-)   well, jeff sed he'd give us details 2nite.   well, i hope he does.   kaela needs new contacts n' glasses.   if the demos postponed, 'least she doesn't hafta do the demo w/o her new lenses.

morn: back to werk... the 4 day vacation is over.   hrm... boy, oh boy... *sigh* it's a blue sky 2day in corte madera.   i wish my 'puter werked. :-(   this is gonna be a bizzy week w/ the big demo n' all.   i don't have much time to play w/ my 'puter, but i need it to get stuff done.   i brought turkey/stuffing/yam leftovers 4 lunch.   i still need to get an oil change.   there r things i need to do.   sometimes, doesn't werk cm to be a big inconvenience? but then 'gain, i gotta werk to make $$$.   really, i don't wanna be unemployed!   but there r things like oil changes that u can't get done after werk really... well, i'm lucky that albany subaru is pretty good 'bout late hrs, as they're open till midnite, but still... it ain't that easy, n' they're not that cheap!   pkjai of bronx's, thanks 4 signing my gbook! :-)   *sigh* now it's christmas season.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i gotta get a christmas tree.

[later, afternoon] just b4 my actual lunchbreak, i went to compusa in san rafael to buy a new 300w atx power supply 4 a 'puter whose power supply busted @ werk.   i've been to 'puter stores much more frequently than usual lately, right?   well, while there, i also bought a pci controller.based modem, since my new mobo/muthaboard is forcing me to use a pci modem, as opposed to the isa modem i used b4. *sigh* then i came back n' ate leftover turkey/stuffing/yams as i installed the new power supply.   it's kind'a neat to werk on 'puter hardware both @ home n' @ werk, but man... i really wish my home 'puter woes'd go 'way.   2nite, maybe i'll try to install win xp n' c if that helps.   otherwise, i gotta get my old 2.0gb scsi drive, make it a master drive, 4mat it, install win2k on it, n' burn all the important data off my big 36gb scsi drive onto cd.   then i'll hafta 4mat my big 36gb drive n' reinstall win2k or win xp.   *sigh* that's just more werk than i have time 4 these days. :-(   compusa... man, i bought that modem there, n' i know i could get it cheaper elsewhere, but i need it now.   compusa is like 7-11: it's there just cos u need stuff right 'way... otherwise, i'd never pay those crappy prices! *sigh*

neway, maybe i should stop talkin' 'bout 'puters.   u know, i really worry 'bout my budget.   hrm... well, i dunno if i've really been saving up much $$$ lately.   i feel i've been spending 'lot, n' the holiday season's coming up 2.   i don't wanna live an uncom4table life, but man... i know i always gotta watch my spending.   i don't want my friends n' family to hafta have an imagination christmas this yr. :-( i wanna buy good presents.   i guess last nite kaela e.mailed me some newspaper article 'bout how we're now officially in a recession.   *sigh* this is recession life.   it sucks.   $$$ just flowed so freely back in 1998/1999.   it was a great time to be a fresh engineering graduate w/ an engineering job.   now? *sigh* i dunno... i just wanna survive.   i guess i'm surviving.

[later] man, it's time to get the heck out of this office! what a day! "the" electrical engineer had his last day.   he gave notice a long time 'go that he's moving back to ny, getting married, n' starting a new job.   actually, he's not getting married till next sept, like ken, but he's moving now n' starting his new job, i guess.   *sigh* well, it's sad to c ppl go, i guess.   he n' the senior chemist were the only 2 recently to go voluntarily.   neither really sed bye to me.   it's not like ne of us were the best of friends, but we went out to lunch a few times.   sometimes i felt the electrical engineer didn't give me proper credit or the benefit of doubt... like, he underestimated my abilities n' was just really cynical n' sarcastic to me... in a bad way.   sometimes our personalities just didn't mesh.   neway, he's gone now.   i didn't like that he cmed to keep info away from me... now that he's gone, do i know all that he should've told me?   *sigh* well, neway, last, last week, his advice to me was to start looking 4 a new job cos the company'll go down.   i wonder if every1's looking 4 new jobs or what.   do we all plan on going down w/ the company?   it's just like a crew on a sinking ship, right?   well, there's still hope.   i'll always think we have a good product.   definitely, i've had my doubts 'bout the way it's been marketed or the way the sales team has gone 'bout things, but the product itself is great, i say.   i guess there were managment decisions, i thought could've been done differently, but shoot... i'm just a kid 'round here.   well, what a crappy time to be in the job market!   i did tell my manager that i need to take a vacation in early jan to visit my grandfather.   he understood, altho' he sounded pretty distressed to hear i'd be absent.   i knew that's how it'd be.   well, i do hope that the company'll be here in jan.   eh! i think it'll survive till then, no prob... but we need funding to survive much past that...   n' dang... well, shoot, each morn i hope that the company's still there when i get to werk, i guess.

just 'bout noon: we gotta get up.   i'm s'pposed to supe up (soup up?) my 'puter w/ ken 2day.   last nite, we went to dansuhngsa w/ a bunch'a leland alumni.

1125p: i spent most of the day running around silly (silicon) valley, acquiring 'puter parts n' werking on my 'puter @ ken's milpitas store.   my 'puter is very much not werking right now, n' it really frustrates me.   ok, raymond just dropped off my win xp cds.   *sigh* i don't like it when all the advice i get 'bout ne 'puter probs is "fresh install" or "format the drive."   i got tons of musik stuff on my hd that i can't just delete!   i got e.mails i wanna keep. grr! why is win 2000 being such a #!!@%er?!?! grr!!!   i gotta burn a soundtrack 4 fri's demo.   i gotta get musik ready 4 sat's post.promtion.test party!!!   i'm gonna dj it, but i need my 'puter to help me get organised!!!   *sigh*

746p: i'm outside wellman hall, in my car, waiting 4 the beautiful kaela kang   i did some errands, while kaela was @ werk.   compusa was so bizzy.   @ our apt, ue had a power outage.   i think my neighbour scott may have saw me offer frisc hic cat a treat.   he opened the door as i was offering the kitty treat.   he asked if our dower was out.   i sed ours was.   i felt so embarassed 'bout the kitty treat i was hiding.   i felt guilty n' awkward.   scott always catches me trying to play w/ his shy cat that always runs away from me n' kaela.   i wish the cat wasn't so shy.   i really hope scott doesn't think he're trying to catch, torture, or eat frisco cos we're not!   we just wanna pet him.

my eyes r tired.   i'm about to drive back to san jo.   we'll meet ken n' grace @ dansuhngsa, where younghee werks.   we've slept so much, but my eyes r tired.

so some ppl call 2day "black fri"?   the 1st pay of the christmas shopping season, the day after thanksgiving.   some1 used the term on bronx's junkyard forums, but i hadn't heard it b4, i don't think.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i r @ valley fair.   we were lucky n' actually found parking pretty quickly; parking angel.   we're @ nordstroms.   it's 1105a now.   time flies.   did i mention that we watched shallow hal @ amc mercado 20 last nite?   we did; it was funny.

758p: after a long day @ valley fair, we're back @ amc mercado 20 w/ tix 4 the 945p showing of harry potter.   since we didn't go home to eat more turkey leftovers, we ate dinner @ sushi lovers here by the theatre.   kaela sed she wanted sushi.   i sed i could take her to an authentic jaanese restaurant w/o much sushi or else a so.so place by the theatre that had sushi; neither have mirugai, but both'd prob'ly have salmon.   so sushi lovers is a so.so place.   i now figure it's the sobay's answer to party sushi: not the best sushi, but cheap sushi.   sushi lovers is the hugest sushi boat place i've cn.   my 1st n' only other time there was w/ my cowerker chris, right after completing our cad software training nearby.   now kaela n' i r waiting in the car 4 the line 4 our show to start.   we're parked close.   [later] 830p: i'm waiting in line.   kaela went to starbuck's 4 hot chocolate.   so i'm updating while in line.   we've had a bizzy day.   [later] 940p: we're in our seats.   the movie starts in 5 mins.   ah, it's been pretty refreshing hanging out in the sobay these past coupl'a days.   ah, what a vacation!   i just bealised 2day that the thanksgiving holiday weekend is the only 4 day vacations that prob'lg most americans get!   it's the only guaranteed 4 day weekend i have each yr!   when i think of it this way, i love thanksgiving.

i know u'll read this 2 late, but happy thanksgiving!!!   my mom, the beautiful kaela kang n' i just had our thanksgiving meal.   we ate in the early afternoon.   my family used to eat later, but this is a healthier tradition.   now we have more time to digest b4 going to sleep! :-) i like it!   we had turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, yams, corn, salad, n' rolls.   kaela n' i brought over a bottle of beringer chardonnay, which we bought @ safeway, not @ the actual winery.   such a good meal!!!   mmm... well, i hope u have/had a good thanksgiving!

last nite, i took kaela to dinner @ rue de paris in san josé 4 our 22nd monthversary.   :-) so much fud so far this weekend.

[2001.11.24: i've got some updates on my handspring to upload yet.   i'm in berkeley right now waiting 4 the beautiful kaela kang to finish werk, then we'll head back down.   i'm just slipping this li'l note in here.   this is like time travel.   my next entry'll take u back in time a coupl'a days!]

so i'm writing in a telnet window from my werk now.   this is sumpthin' i haven't done in a long time, n' i can only do it via a special program from the good folks @ ocf.   hrm... it's good that i can update my page thru.out the day, right away, instead of waiting to go home n' hotsync my handspring, but i do like using my handspring.   i highly recommend them! :-)   neway, if i ever wanna write a journal entry while waiting in a mall, i'll hafta do it the handspring hotsync way.   so it looks like the beautiful kaela kang n' i r going to asia 4 new yrs: taiwan n' korea.   my dad e.mailed me yesterday.   well, we gotta plan it out.   2day's thanksgiving eve.   i'm a bit sick w/ a cold.

yesterday's demo went pretty ok.   the organisation side of the demo was good.   transitions were good.   master yoon gave me a big list of things that the demo team needs to fix.   he gave me the list in korean.   i'm glad he trusts that i'll understand it.   after cleaning up, etc. n' having a uc open mtg.   we went out to dansuhngsa pojangmacha to celebrate the demo, mikey sia's b.day, n' (4 us2) me n' kaela's 22nd monthversary! :-)   neway, of course, we'll do more 4 that soon. :-)   it was a fun dinner.   i met "mamanakaboobooday" from bronx's junkyard.   his real name is andy.

100a: in our neighbourhood, we have more cats than just our neighbour scott's beautiful black cat frisco.   as i went downstairs to throw 'way the trash n' pick up the laundry, i thought i saw a white cat on the roof of a neighbouring apt building.   it was dark.   i couldn't tell if it was some sort of ventilation chimney or a white kitty.   there's a brown cat that lives in the some antique store, n' it sits in the window sometime.   there's a white n' brown cat that lives in a chiropractor's office, n' it sometimes sits in the window.   the beautiful kaela kang sez she saw a smaller black kitty that looks like frisco, n' she thinks it's frisco's offspring.   dunno.

well, 2nite (as in last nite's) demo practice, which was more of a rehearsal, went pretty well.   i'm glad most members r taking demo team pretty seriously now.   that makes me happy.   in the end, i do want them to understand that i appreciate their dedication, n' that the club should recognise all their hard werk.   yah, it's quite a task 4 me to get the demo team organised, but they, each n' every 1, really make it all happen!   i wanna make sure they understand that.   i gotta remind myself to e.mail chals n' tell him how we now have james, who is so much like him... funny!

[330p] sellout: i just wanted to offer u some links to products u might be interested in.   yah, i know it's like having ads in my journal, but *sigh* just in case u actually wanna buy these things, u might as well buy it thru my site, right?

visor deluxe - $129!

visor handheld w/ free gift

visor prism - was $399, now $299!

so... i guess this journal entry was brought to u in part by the good folks @ handspring!   ha ha ha.   i like my handspring 'lot, so i don't mind advertising 4 them n' getting commission if ne1 ever were to buy a handspring thru my site.

[later] now it's morn, n' i'm @ werk.   i woke up pretty late this morn.   i was really tired last nite, but i stayed up to burn a cd to use 4 2nite's demo.   yup, it's 2nite!   i feel good.   it was a lot'f hard werk to organise this demo.   i'm not doing ne board break in this demo; i've let others do the honours.   that makes me a li'l less nervous, i guess.

u do realise that 2 day is me n' kaela's 22nd monthversary, right?   uh, maybe it's a li'l egocentric of me to expect u to know.   well, it is our 22nd montversary.   yay!

[later] so cos my company was having all these domain name server probs, i discovered i can telnet into my ocf unix acct another way, 'round my company's firewall thing.   also, i can use webmail.   crazy!   this means i can update my journal, right on the server, from my office 'gain, like in the old days.   but i still can't hotsync my visor in my office cos it has win nt 4.0.   hrm, this could get confusing!   i could add to my journal via telnet n' via my handspring @ the same time, u know?   eh! i'll figure it out.   neway, the domain name server prob is fixed now.

4 lunch i ate leftover fish n' rice n' haepari (jellyfish).   after i ate i took a walk under the cloudy corte madera sky.   i walked along the street then got onto a natural trail that loops back behind my office.   i saw beautiful waterfowl n' beautiful, natural landscape.   i had kaela's digicam in my car, ready 4 2nite's demo.   i went n' got it n' took some pics.   in case my company goes under, n' i never come back to corte madera; i wanna 'member what i do like 'bout this place.

i'm looking 4ward to the long weekend.   i'll be happy to relax, unwind, n' "chill" in san jo.

it's been such a gloomily overcast day!   it's been a stressful day 4 me cos i had to return the rented audio equipment from chals's sister's wedding.   did i mention that we really didn't even need that equipment cos some1 else brought pro audio equipment?   my rented stuff was much bigger, but it was overkill n' a waste of $$$.   the $100 i asked 4 from chals as pay was only 4 lugging these speakers n' amp 'round.   it was a hassle, so i needed to be paid 4 it.   i drove the beautiful kaela kang's kia sportage to werk n' planned to take an early lunch, drive home, switch cars, return the audio equipment, n' go back to werk.   i got stuck in a mtg @ 1115a.   i left my office @ noon.   the equipment was due @ noon.   there was tons of traffik on the way back to berkeley.   kaela called me n' asked me to pick her up 4 lunch.   i sed i'd return the equipment 1st, then pick her up.   when i got home, i went upstairs to get my subaru keys.   d'oh! kaela had left her housekeys n' taken my car keys!   i picked kaela up from campus, jammed home, switchea cars like a jewelry thief, n' hurried to leo's pro audio.   i returned the stuff.   then we ate kfc/tacobell: i ate a zinger sandwich meal n' kaela had a chicken quesadilla, their "hot, new handheld."   i dropped her off @ campus n' jammed back to werk.

i'm so sleepy n' unmotivated.   the netwerk nazis may have fiddled w/ our netwerk.   i can't cm to visit websites...   hrm... not even 1s that could be werk related!   i do have access to google n' yahoo! tho'.   check out this fon: picture of nokia 7650.

after practice, some demo team members went to buy cinderblocks from emeryville home depot.   we use them 4 board/brick holders.   i thought i was gonna take the beautiful kaela kang to werk, but we 1st went to get boba drinks.   then we went to pusan market to buy groceries.   then we went home.   kaela decided not to go into werk 2nite.   raymond stopped by to pick up the gameboy advanced he left in kaela's car when we drove him to practice.   grr! owen n' raymond should werk out this misunderstanding over 2by2.net.   owen called me this morn.   he's so pissed @ raymond, but raymond's pretty pissed @ him.   man, 2by2.net's pretty evil to tear friendships apart over $$$!

so we went to dish, met up w/ jeff wang, mike sia, deanna, darlene, n' garth.   we brought roland n' johnny w/ us, n' by us i mean the beautiful kaela kang n' me. :-)   i preordered 4 tongdalk yesterday, but when i realised that only 0.5 the ppl who sed they'd go showed up, i was so glad that the owner didn't mind cancelling 0.5 my order n' making just 2.   it was very hard finding parking last nite thanks to a basketball game n' the big game bonfire happening on the same nite.   oh, i didn't tell u 'bout how hard it was to find parking on thurs nite 4 taekwondo practice!   i had to circle 'round 4 like 45 mins!   i dropped kaela off 1st, n' she told master yoon that i was gonna be late cos i was looking 4 parking.   it was so frustrating cos basketball fans came n' took the rsf meter spots even tho' they don't have the permit to park there!   @ worst, they received a $26 ticket, i think.   i hope they got much worse! they were all nice cars from rich alum, i guess... rich n' inconsiderate!!! they ought to pay up.   i wanted some1 to tow their cars! even if they got parking tix, i was still out a parking space! grrr!   neway, back to fri!   dish is a unique korean hof.   it's not like koko house or dansuhngsa so much.   it's well lit, n' they play korean ballad musik in the background.   the owner, whom i spoke to yesterday to make the reservation, she's obviously korean, but this middle.aged woman sort'a looks 0.5 black to me.   maybe she is, i dunno.   she speaks w/ a korean accent n' speaks korean n' english well.   there was also 1 other ajuma there, a korean woman w/ a diff korean accent.   i dunno where she's from, but her accent is diff from most seoul koreans.   then there was 1 gurl werking there that was like the daughter of 1 of the ajuma, i guess, n' when i went up to cancel the 2 tong dalk preorders, she sed that she recognised me from somewhere.   then the owner sed, "maybe from octopus!"   @ 1st i was totally confused, but she was 100% correct!   that gurl used to werk @ octopus, the clothing store on durant.   not only that, i was wearing the sweater i bought when she helped me there!   funny. what a coincidence!   well, we ate our fud n' chatted.   then we went upstairs to check out mikey's apt.   he lives w/ 2 gurls, like i did jr yr, 'cept they share 1 bathroom.   his apt is pretty nice.   he's never there tho', always @ deanna's.   btw, deanna lives w/ darlene.   i hadn't talked to deanna, mikey, n' darlene in a long time, n' it was fun.   afterwards, roland, johnny, kaela, n' i tried to watch shallow hal @ emeryville, but we were running 2 late, so we decided to go to jack london n' watch monsters, inc. instead.   it was very entertaining!   i loved it!   very cute.   the theatre was pretty empty, actually.   most ppl were watching harry potter, the most anticipated movie since the phantom menace.   we saw a teaser 4 attack of the clones.   altho' these new star wars movies just don't live up to the original 3, i do wanna c it.   ah, i 'member watching phantom menace on opening nite w/ the old p.crew... *sigh* what memories! :-) i wonder if i'll have the energy to do that kind of thing 4 attack of the clones.   of course, it'll have less hype cos the publik hasn't waited so long 4 this 1, n' so many ppl'll prob'ly almost boycott it just cos of jar jar.

oh yah!!!! i'm typing this journal entry @ home... using my new kds rad.5 lcd flat panel monitor!!!!!!   this is so kewl!!!!   i received it yesterday from ups right when kaela got to my office.   i didn't get to set it up till this morn.   it's kewl! :-) i guess i can say that i love it, but i don't wanna sound so materialistic.   i think i'll donate my old monitor to the salvation army 2day.   neway... frick! i shouldn't be here typing my journal! i should be getting the dj stuff ready 4 chals's noona's wedding!!!!! wtf?! (as kids say these days...) yah, i gotta get offline n' start burning mp3s to cd!!! in the meantime, i guess, i'll go donate these old 'puter parts...

[later] 1058p: well, we've been home from the wedding dj gig 4 a while now.   it was a short gig!   chals paid me $260.   since the gig fizzled out, i didn't feel right asking 4 the full $300, altho' the equipment co$t $150 to rent!   it's gonna be a pain to return the speakers n' amp on mon.   well, i figure all that effort is worth $100, so i asked 4 $250, but chals only had $20s.   it was a beautiful reception' looked very expen$ive.   the fud was good, altho' the cooked.to.order pasta bar was slow.   i was rushed, so i didn't get to eat much.   i expected to dj a big party w/ 80s europop, korean gayo, n' recent pop n' hip hop.   well, apparently many, many more young guys came to this wedding than young women.   the guys didn't wanna dance w/ each other, so they took off 4 a bar/club, n' my gig totally fizzled out.   chals n' other guys helped me pack up, n' we left.   i had such big plans 4 this gig.   as a biznessman, it was a decent deal 4 me.   as a musician, i feel rather unfulfilled.   after johnny helped me unload, just as he had helped me load in jerome's absence; i dropped him off n' went home.   i found myself really hungry @ home.   i felt unfilled, i guess; but tired.   paul lee invited us to go watch the meteor shower, but i'm 2 tired.   i really would like to hang out w/ paul.   i'll try to make it up to him someday.   uhm, not that this is very related; but i'll always feel i gotta make it up to chals 4 not being there w/ him the nite he n' sandy broke up. :-( i use smileys n' frowns more in my journal now.

what a gloomy day!   it's so overcast here in corte madera.   i wonder how it is in berkeley.   the beautiful kaela kang came to my office 4 lunch n' brought me a beautiful "teddy bear" sunflower.   this flower got its name from looking like a fuzzy teddy bear's face... sort'f.   it's a cute name.   we went out to san rafael n' ate vietnamese noodles.   2nite... it's fri nite! 2nite, we're going to dish w/ mike sia n' others.   he's so hyped 'bout getting ppl to go to dish.   i made a reservation 4 15 ppl n' pre.ordered 4 tong dalk last nite after practice.

[later] i'm waiting outside kaela's werk 4 her.   it's 709p now.   is it annoying that i keep telling u the time?   *sigh* what a day.   really, my office is pretty depressing.   it was like a ghost town 2day.   i sorta fear mon. *sigh* well, 2nite: dish n' a movie.   2morrow's all 'bout chals's sister's wedding.   sun: demo practice.   it's sorta funny but sorta scary n' sorta sad how raymond's hiding from owen cos owen's twisting his arm 'bout 2by2.net. *sigh* is he really willing to lose all his friends cos.f 2by2.net?!

228a: i should be asleep.   so was yesterday's entry really 2 depressing, n' did it still not get ne less depressing?   i'm not sure.   nelson called me 2nite during practice n' left me a msg.   he often invites me to go clubbing.   n' usually, i can't make it.   there were those 2 times when i was coincidentally already planning to qo clubbing @ the same places as he was: ibiza n' avaron.   he invited me to go clubbing on sat, but i'm assuming i'll be @ chals's sister's weddinq.   nelson always asks me if i have ne cute female friends, n' that makes me feel very awkward.   i mean, what's a guy to say?!?! it just cms like there's no right answer to that question!   also, these days i'm realising that i 1nce 'gain don't have so many female friends.   i dunno how i find myself, all the sudden, in such a predominantly male circle of friends.   taekwondo n' bronx's junkyard r both such male crowds, i guess.   is taekwondo more male dominated now cos females left n' new/other females don't join, 'least not in the social/fun stuff?   young, tiffany, romy, n' pam; they sometimes come to bigger, more official events, but not so much the "just kickin' it" things.   sophia's our freshman this yr, her n' maybe james, if he starts hangin' w/ us.   he can be our chals replacement!!! ha ha ha!

*sigh* as far as taekwondo, in 1998, we gained so many valuable freshmen: jason, jerome, n' sam.   in 1999, more: joon, efren, deanna, mikey (actually spring 2000).   2001: johnny.   it's 2 bad brandie had to move 'way; n' i wish erin hadn't felt so pushed 'way from taekwondo by unfriendly ppl.   what r the chances we'll ever c jeff, jocelyn, andy, or cal back in taekwondo?   i'm pretty darn sure we won't c dave (yee) back in taekwondo.   liane? yah, not likely, i think.   but these ppl, taekwondo or no taekwondo, i wanna c them some time.   who would've thought chals'd leave taekwondo, while i'm still here?!?! 2 crazy!   n' joon! hrm, i hope he picks taekwondo back up after he sorts out the other / more important things in life.

so... we saw the musikal buffy.   on sun nite, we watched most of it; but, not knowing it'd be 1 hr 10 mins long, we cut off the last 10 mins of our timered recording.   well, we got the complete tape from roland, who tivoed it.   it's rather reminiscent of moulin rouge.   i did enjoy the episode very much, but it failed to please me all that much with its ending!

so often i find myself wondering how it'd be like to be me, @ the age i am now, but living in the 70s or 80s.   [later] 933a: i'm in my office, waiting 4 my 'puter to boot up.   [a li'l later] co. mtg starting soon.   r my journal entries 2 long?   do i write 2 much?   can u actually keep up w/ me?

[later] 141p: we had a bad news mtg this morn.   cos of lack of funding, some ppl r being asked to werk only 1 day.   so far i'm not included, but pretty much every1's depressed. :-(   i went to dave's tacquieria 4 lunch.   i got a $4.99 vegetable burrito instead of a $5.99 chicken burrito cos i'm trying to save $$$ after the depressing news.   we did have krispy kreme doughnuts @ the mtg compliments gf 1 of the chemists.   neway, @ lunch, the blackburdies that came to beg fud from me cheered me up a li'l.   i liked it when they'd jump right onto my table!   after eating, i browsed thru goodguys!   i asked them to beat an etronics.com price, but they salesperson refused.   he sounded / looked annoyed, but i thanked him.   [later] so my manager is part of this "1 day a week of werk" staff reduction!!! i'm not, but he got chosen.   crazy! this is very scary.   i werk 4 cheap; i guess, @ this moment, i'm thankful that i do, so that 'least i still have a job!   really, this is crazy!   we just got our popular science article yesterday! *sigh*

on my drive into werk 2day, i spotted dave yee in his silver prelude.   asian cars really stand out in marin county!   i didn't get to wave or even honk cos i had to exit the freeway.   dave yee was the 1 that introduced me to dave's tacqueria, altho' it's much closer to my office than his.   from what i could c of the sillouhette of the back of his head, he still doesn't look 2 domesticated. [later] dave's tacqueria is such a frickin' rip off! grrr! why does fud hafta be so expen$ive in marin county?!

[later] i'm 'bout ready to leave my office.   what a day!   there's this ad in the embedded systems programming trade magazine.   the ad's from "american arium" n' sez "it's hard to compete without the right tools."   it has a picture of a snowboarder jumping.   the funny thing is his snowboard's so ancient!!!   i think the advertisers didn't intend this ad to be sarcastic.   i think they just thought this snowboard picture looked kewl.   they're so clueless!

the clock on my 'puter sez it's 156a.   the tarepanda clock on the pseudowall, the back of the kitchen cabinet, sez 201a.   neway, it's late @ nite.   i'm up late 2nite, i guess.   demo practice went pretty late, then i volunteered to help raymond w/ his paper.   honestly, i think it was unreasonable 4 him to have expected me to have translated that academic taekwondo paper by 2nite.   i didn't have time, but i did manage to translate 1 paragraph 4 him while @ werk.   well, i let him come over, n' i translated a few tables 4 him.   i was so tired.   honestly, hrm.. man, i really wanted to sleep, n' well... raymond was kind'f oblivious of that, so i just had to finally say, "hey raymond, u need a ride home?"   while he was here, while i was translating those tables, while we watched blind date n' news radio b4 that, the beautiful kaela kang cooked kimchi mandoo.   we ate it, n' it was good.   *sigh* it's late, n' i should sleep.   i've been waking up early these days.   well, by "these days," i guess i just mean mon n' tues.   even tho' my knee was troubling me, i went to taekwondo practice.   i did what i could.   i know i looked bad... i mean, man... it's nites like 2nite that make it so master yoon doesn't realise what i'm really capable of.   i'm really uhm... i dunno... frustrated? cos i can't tell if i'm like being put out to pasture or what, sometimes... what i mean by that is... do ppl think i'm 2 old to do crazy demo stuff, so i should just handle organizational affairs?   i mean, if i am, it's not all that bad cos i don't mind doing it... i mean, ppl who really lead... it's good.   n' i don't mind being a leader.   however, i know i do still have a few crazy kicks left in me, but i think master yoon doesn't realise it cos he cs me per4m @ my worst 'lot... like when i'm sick or injured, stresed out, or not warmed up enuf cos i was off teaching the white belt class instead of werking out.   but i guess he thinks i can handle leadership roles... which is 'least good 4 whatever it's good 4. :-) ha, funny way to put it, i guess. *sigh* neway!

so raymond's taking his black belt test @ the beginning of next month, the very beginning of next month, dec 1.   i do wanna get my 3dan, but i dunno when.   dr. frank choy who got his 2dan w/ me is testing 4 his 3dan this time.   when will i test 'gain?   sometimes i worry that the longer i wait the worse out of shape i'll be.   i dunno; that's pessimistic.   honestly, there r 2 kinds of promotional test @ ucmap.   sometimes promotions r more based on skill, etc.; sometimes they're more based on politics or else "how much this person has contributed to the development of taekwondo."   i figure, if i'm young, i'll have a promotion based more on skill, but if i'm older, i'll have a promotion based more on "how much i contribute to the development of taekwondo"... but it will definitely also be a test of skill...   but what's the cut off btwn young n' older?   i wonder... like how much longer can i pull off these fancy kicks?   like what if dr. min asks me to show him fancy demo stuff, but i'll be 2 out of shape to do them... *sigh* well, this is pessimistic... i'm assuming i'll be worse out of shape as i get older.   it's hard not to assume that.   i'd rather be optimistic, but it must be just male pms making me think so negatively.   when i'm in a more idealistic mood, maybe it's easier to believe i'll be able to keep fit thru.out the yrs.   i want to.   i just worry!   shoot! how the #!!%$ did i gain 10 lbs recently?!?!?! #!^%! u might think i'm some sort'f neurotic anorexic 4 worrying 'bout it, but do u c? it's not so much 'bout the weight... it's more 'bout aging!   it's not so much 'bout getting fat as it is 'bout getting fat n' old!   *sigh* i don't wanna be old.   well, shoot.   now u can just say i'm immature, right?   what? is this gonna be 'nother 0.25 life crisis moment here?   is this gonna happen 1nce a month? *sigh* i don't wanna grow old like that!   argh, the idea is all just so depressing. :-( it's hard to grow old gracefully, eh?   i'd prefer to mature than grow old, right?

neway, shoot! i gotta wake up n' go to werk 2morrow morn.   stuff big ppl do; stuff adults do.   i can't stay up n' play w/ u kids, i guess. :-( sure, i talk 'lot 'bout growing old.   sure, it does stress me out, but can u blame me?   who doesn't wanna be 4ever young?   ha ha ha. yes, i do know that was so cheesy... *sigh* alphaville, "forever young."   oh oh oh! so i'm gonna dj chals's sister's wedding on sat! he called me 2day. k, this is really last min, but i'll do it 4 chals.   they want 80s musik.   well, shoot! i hope... i hope i can do a better job than i did @ andy's bro's wedding... i've been playing 'lot more w/ dj stuff lately, but... well it's not 80s stuff, it's korean stuff.   shoot! it'd be nice if they don't mind if i play some korean musik... 'least just a li'l! :-) well... i dunno... i know not all koreans like korean gayo, but well... u gotta admit, it is more likely that a korean person'll like korean gayo than a nonkorean person... well, hrm... sometimes that's not true... but in general.   like, i know that 4 the most part, chals doesn't like korean gayo, n' i guess korean ppl he hangs w/ rn't into it @ all.   uhm, sam?   sam cms to be ok w/ some, but i think he finds some of it cheesy 2.   c, i think some korean.americans think korean gayo is very cheesy... 2 much copycatting of american musik... not not very well done copycatting either!   well, yah! frick, sometimes that's true.   not always.   the wedding reception'll be in el cerrito.   good, close!   ooh! well, this is sumpthin' to look 4ward to this weekend!

ok, i should shut down n' try to go to bed.   i'll hafta carry kaela to bed, i guess.   she fell asleep on the couch.   i wish i had a way to get her not to fall asleep on the couch but on the bed instead...   ah! it'll never happen... it's ok, i guess.

[later] now it's 257a on my computer screen n' 303a according to the tarepanda clock.   i'm still up. why? cos i realised 2day (actually yesterday) that when i get a dvd player, not only do i want 1 that plays mp3s n' hopefully nuon stuff, i need to get a codefree dvd player!   shoot! there beno goes 'gain talkin' bout all this materialistic $#!+!   ok, fine! i'll go to sleep! *grumble* *grumble*

[later] 1026a 'ccording to this 'puter in the imaging lab.   i got into werk a li'l late 2day.   b4 i left home, i searched 4 kaela's cellfon cos i knew it wasn't charging overnite.   [li'l later] ok, i'm on the fon w/ kaela, so i now know she has her fon; but no, she indeed did not charge it.   she's on the bus now, going to campus.   now we're off the fon.   i got to werk a li'l late, but i werked an extra long day yesterday: got in early, left late.

so "old guy getting depressed" left me a gbook msg: "man u'r getting me depressed with all that talk about aging. ... question for you: where do u see yourself (or want to see yourself) 10 years from now?"   good question.  doesn't that sound like a question that i'd ask my visitors to answer in my gbook? well, should i answer the q or look @ codefree dvd players w/ mp3 support?   ok, i'll do my best to answer the question:

10 yrs from now i'll be married w/ 2 kids: 1 boy, 1 gurl.   hrm... that's themost important thing to me: marriage n' family.   i guess i should also own a house in 10 yrs; i'll be 36.   i keep talking 'bout my taekwondo future, n' yah... i'm a freak, but it is sumpthin' i wanna be involved in 4 life.   but marriage n' family r my #1 priorities.   doggy? yah, i'd like to have a doggy.   career?   frick! *sigh* i admit, i don't think 'bout it that much!   i know it's bad, but... i just wanna have "enuf" $$$ n' a sufficiently painless job!   honestly, i think more 'bout taekwondo, djing, snowboarding, n' doggies... n' marriage n' family, my #1 priorities.   i'd like to have a fun job.   engineering? yes.   if i had an ideal engineering job, it'd have more programming n' maybe some musik involved.

[later] u'r kidding me!   how did i end ud @ taco bell eating a quesadilla meal 4 lunch?!   i'm such a frickin' sucker 4 fastfud marketting!   i hate unhealthy fud, but check out what happened just now!   i ate @ the marin city taco bell, n' now i'm gonna do some investigating @ best buy.   a fastfud junkie, a gadget geek. what the %!!@& have i become?! n' what's w/ all the expletives lately?   well, definitely raymond gives me a bad excuse 4 my worsening gadget addiction cos he's always getting kewl toys. still he can afford this kind'f habit cos he still gets $$$ from his parents n' doesn't have so many adultlife financial responsibilities yet.

[later] i'm back in my office.   this morn, we all received a copy of popular science w/ an article 'bout our company.   it't pretty kewl.   i hate it when my manager has no clue that i haven't gotten a report done cos he's given me so much other werk to do that i haven't had time to write.

back to the topik of marin city, where i was during my lunchbreak: it might surprise u.   it has lots'f low cost housing projects!   that's very unlike the rest of marin county, right?   marin city has a lot more african.americans than the rest of marin county.   it's right by sausalito n' has a beautiful view of the bay.

[later] according to my handspring, it's 516p.   it's the time of yr 4 me to say, "*sigh* ah, days r getting shorter n' colder."   [later] 711p: i'm picking kaela up from werk.   [a li'l later] 745p: we're home now.

830a: i woke up early 2day.   last nite, b4 we left 4 dinner, i started the laundry.   i had to go pick up the laundry this morn.   it had been sitting in the dryer all nite.   it's not storming 2day.   it's very calm.   it was nice to have rain 4 a coupl'a days, i guess.   yesterday morn, 'round this time, it was really bad.   right now: nuthin'.   it's not bad waking up early like this.   i guess i used to wake up earlier all the time, huh?   but now, i get tired earlier; tired, as in sleepy.   hrm, i wonder what's 4 lunch 2day.   i gotta translate this korean taekwondo paper 4 raymond.   he's gonna write his 5 page book/periodical report off my translation.   i hope i find time to do this translation.

[later] man, i'm really looking 4ward to receiving my monitor!   anticipation isn't that painful; it's more like excitement.   i expect to spend lots'f time in malls next month.   b4 i know it, this yr'll be over.   this month: i just gotta get this demo put 2gether n' over w/!   by the evening of nov. 30, i'll feel so relieved... as long as all goes right n' nothing goes wrong.   i pray nuthin' goes wrong!   after the demo, all there is to do is watch raymond, pam, n' romy test 4 their 1dan; jeff, mike shea, test 4 their 2dan; n' dr. frank choy test 4 his 3dan.  . i got my1dan w/ jeff n' my 2dan w/ dr. choy.   it's good that jeff does 'lotta volunteer werk 4 ucmap, but i know ppl r gonna say he's trying to pass on politics alone.   well, ain't that always the predicament 'round here? *sigh*

[later] boreal opened 4 snowboarding 2day!!! they have 8" of snow!!! i gotta go!!!

1000p: i had such a bizzy day 2day, i guess.   normally, i find some time to write a li'l in my journal b4 1000p, right?   i had to do much actual lab operation werk 2day.   i went to werk early, drove thru the mon morn storm.   the beautiful kaela kang came to corte madera to join me 4 lunch, we ate @ cpk, had a pear n' gargonzola pizza n' this 2 in a bowl soup.   i'm trying to eat a li'l less 2day since i've been gaining weight.   neway, i ate so heartily yesterday.   u don't know what i did yesterday!

i left off in my previous entry "dancefloor clutz" saying i was planning on going to the stadium cleanup in the morn w/ kaela despite my banged up knee.   well, we went to the drizzly stadium cleanup.   it went well altho' some clueless volunteer threw away our plastic rain panchos, which we got in cancun. :-( !!!!   after the cleanup, a big bunch of us wanted get some sort of brunch/lunch.   me, i was actually in the mood 4 ur typical "american" pancake n' eggs breakfast.   on the other hand, laura suggested the durant fud ghetto.   well, i do usually love the durant fud ghetto cos i love asian fud; but i was strangely in the mood 4 nonasian fud.   then, since i was outvoted on that particular preference, i suggested dimsum altho' i felt so nasty.   like. i really didn't wanna go to the 99 mall looking so dirty from the cleanup, dressed nastily... i know! i'm so image conscious lately! i don't know what's gotten into me!!! in ne case, i did stifle those self.conscious feelings n' drove to the 99 mall w/o stopping by home to change or shower.   we thought 'bout getting a table @ the dimsum restaurant; kaela even got us a number; but our group had 2 many ppl, n' ppl were 2 hungry to wait.   there4, we 168ed.   well, i liked that 2.   we had a big group n' split into a large group n' a small table.   well, @ the big table, yah... i had a li'l bit of a familiar p.crew feeling.   it's like the spirit of the old p.crew's been reincarnated in a new body.   4 the most part... i guess the "old" p.crew rests in peace.   i guess the "old" p.crew is pretty gone since so many key ppl moved 'way.   i don't say this w/ ne bitterness.   right now i can accept that supermike n' brandie had to move 'way, that krishelle n' harry had to move 'way.   i think i'm more likely to c brandie n' supermike 'gain than krishelle or harry or maiko or rosa or meng... i hear brandie'll be in the bay area next month.   i hope so.   i wanna hang w/ brandie!   i haven't cn jeff, jocelyn, dave, andy, or erin in ages.   i saw andy n' cal @ brandie's going 'way party.   the whole original p.crew days cm a bit further in the past all the sudden.

[later] 1155p: i werked constantly thru the pm (afternoon) n' left on time, i.e. 530p, since i ggt in @ 830a.   after i drove home on the post.storm roads, kaela n' i went back out.   we wanaed to eat dinner @ katana.ya, but 'twas closed.   kaela was on the fon w/ gabe lai.   she knew this bellarmine alumni from the dorms, n' i knew him from iv (intervarsity christian fellowship).   since we didn't know where to go instead, so we 1st went to office depot to get some things.   i saw the kds rad.5 monitor i ordered.   it hasn't shipped yet.   i'd like it now.   we ate @ mama lan's vietnamese restauraat on gilman.   we had spring rolls, this vegetarian crepe, n' shrimpvermicilli noodles.

[254a] so we went to bellagio!   it was very fun, but @ 1 pt, i went to join the beautiful kaela kang on the dancefloor, n' i slipped getting onto the li'l stage thingy, n' i banged up my knee good.   argh, it's prob'ly the worst injury i've had in a while, but it's not bad.   it's the 1st time i cut myself / scraped myself in a while... but it's ok.   i'm glad it's not 2 bad.   2morrow morn, we gotta wake up early to pick up trash! *sigh*

it's 1220p.   it's sat!   man, i'm so shaggy! i want a haircut!   last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i hosted a berkeley taekwondo demo team potluck.   it was really fun.   lots'a ppl came over.   it was the biggest party or get2gether we've hosted since our housewarming party.   it was fun.   we had tons of fud!   so much good fud!   our friends r good cooks. :-)   2nite, we're s'pposed to go clubbing @ bellagio.   man, i need a haircut!   we're s'pposed to go shopping a li'l 2day 2, me n' kaela.   dang, it's past 1230p.   we really got to get our day started!   kaela sez she has'ta go in to werk.   me, i'd like to go werkout in the rsf.   i wanted to go to the 900a taekwondo "family" class.   *sigh* i need exercise!   i'm converting .wav files to .mp3, so i can use my soundsgood while doing butt gallery exercises... if i make it to the rsf 2day... *sigh*

oh yah, last nite, mike shea taught me how to play dominos.   he sez dominos is a very african.american game.   i didn't realise that.   there's lots'a mental math involved.

[later] i'm in the rsf, in the stretching room, stretching after a 40 min butt gallery werkout on the life cycle.   i did a "fat burning" werkout.   i wanna go lift now.   my car's @ a meter, n' i gotta get out soon.   i'll do a li'l lifting, take a shower, n' leave.   after that, i dunno what i'll do; maybe werk on dj stuff @ home altho' i'd prefer to be outside. eh! it's overcast on this cal v. usc gameday!   kaela's @ werk   [later] i'm home, eating pajuhn.   there's some show called sk8, n' it shows skateboarding!   well, i gotta go pick kaela up from werk now.   [later] i'm in stoneridge mall, shoppin w/ kaela.   the time is 614p.   my hair is so poofy, n' i'm actually very self conscious 'bout it. [a li'l later] i went to nordstrom's to use the restroom.   that was the 1 i 1nce took a pic of ed park peeing @, right?   @ the cosmetic counter, they were blasting old skool rave/house musik: 4hero's "mr. kirk" n' 2 bad mice's "bombscare."   as a dj, i love those "tracks," but they r old.   i felt like i was transported back in time like 5 yrs!!! it was like in the movie kara, wen the main character walks thru the streets of seoul n' there r posters advertising seo taeji as the hot new artist.   [n' yet a li'l later] i'm trying to find kaela.   she went off 2 look 4 her stuff, while i looked 4 mine.   we sed we could heep in touch by fon, but she's not answering.   now, i'm worried she left her fon in the car or sumpthin'.   it's 644p, n' i'm pretty stressed / nervous.   we have a tight, tight skedule to keep cos we're s'pposed to be @ the club early, @ 900p.   i really feel self.conscious 'bout my poofy hair.   i feel so unfashionable... i know this sounds so vain of me. *sigh* i know... i shouldn't care.   it's as if i haven't felt this self.conscious 'bout being unhip since i was a chubby, dorky, zit.faced 7th grader!   i guess this is feeling "unpretty," eh?   but i know a 26 yr old, straight man is not s'pposed to care.   well, i just don't feel good.   maybe i should try to drown my stress in some surf.city squeeze (smoothies).   oh yah, i feel fat these days, right? ha ha. why is every1 staring @ me?!?! is it cos i'r fat? is ? cos i'm ugly? is it cos i'm poorly dressed?   no! it's cos i'm in a mall n' bizzily scribbling on what looks like a small, metallic, digital notepad.   "what is that thing?!?!" they're all thinking.   "what a teknodork!"   "what a teknoslave!" "gadget loving male yuppie!" "getchur @$$ back to sharper image yuppie!" i have a $50 gift certificate 4 sharperimage.com that i still gotta use.   how do u like this 4mat of on.line journalling? it's much "right in the middle of the action" than the leading brand!   some might call it "real time," but they'd be wrong n' just wanting to use a buzz wurd.   "buzz wurd" is a buzz wurd.   u can watch me stress in real time! *roll eyes* i toldju! that's not properly using the term!   i am so stressed tho' cos i can't reach kaela, n' she's not calling back.   frick! it's 702p now!

[later, 945p] we're 'bout to leave to go clubbing!   jerome's car's already there, n' he sez it's very crowded.   shoot! i gotta pick up sophia n' her friend, stop by the bank; then we're off.   didju know that sophia's mom is a famous taekwondo master?

it's 145a.   a li'l while 'go, i weighed myself, n' i was 157 lbs!   !!!!!   what happened!   i'm 10 lbs over my old normal weight!   holding steady @ 153 was ok, but this! this is ridiculous!   *sigh* it's cos i don't get out during the day, huh?   i should put on that sunscreen n' take a walk during my lunchbreak! what's wrong w/ me?!

2nite (as in thurs nite, not fri nite), we had a kewl taekwondo class led by dr. lieu.   we studied self.defense.   dr. lieu did a good job, i say.   after the class, i got the demo team werkin' on stuff.   time's ticking!   i'll try to just get my job done, n' trust others to get there jobs done, so i won't stress so much.   i'll try not to stress.   after werkout, i drove the beautiful kaela kang, johnny, n' raymond to pusan market, n' we got groceries.   as soon as we walked in, kaela n' i looked 4 kimbap from their deli, but we didn't c ne, just doshirak (bento boxes).   each of the 4 of us got 1.   we got groceries.   the 4 of us got $88 of groceries, n' that qualified us 4 a free present 4 spending over $50.   kaela n' i took a serving dish.   oh, n' the nice ca$hier, whom i also saw yesterday nite, gave us 2 free packs of kimbap!   he had all the leftovers @ his counter!   kewl! (c, don'tchu just love korean hookups?)

well, 2nite (as in fri nite), we're hosting a taekwondo demo team potluck @ our place.   i really appreciate that kaela organised this, so i had 1 less thing to organise!   this should be fun.   then sat nite, we'll go to bellagio.   *sigh* well, i still do hope they'll ask me to dj there!   sun morn, we have 'nother memorial stadium trash pickup fundraiser.   argh, why am i so fat?! i feel it.   hrm... i'm also so shaggyheaded!!!!   man, this winter coat thing! it's serious!!!! now it looks like kaela's fallen asleep on the couch.   *sigh* i guess this is the usual routine, as opposed to my falling asleep 1st, while she studies.   it's ok.   i'll carry her to bed.

[a li'l later, 215a] i really wanna buy that kds rad.5 monitor!   buy.com has it 4 a decent price, i think.   if u click on the link above u get $25 off ne purchase over $250, n' i get some li'l kickback.   *sigh* yah, all those "sponsors" on my links page... u can patronise them via my links n' supposedly i'll get some kickbacks.   hrm... dunno if they all werk tho'.   i hope so.   i guess, it'd be best if u make sure to mention my site if u use them, n' mention it to me...   but eh! i don't think ne1 every shops via my site!   i wouldn't be that idealistic nemore since the .com bubble burst.   *sigh* well, owen sed he's made $$$ off of 2by2.net w/in a week.

[later] i'm on my lunchbreak, i guess; but i'm stuck @ the office cos every1 else in my dept is out to lunch or just out 4 the day.   i ate 'nother 1 of those doshirak 4 lunch.   i read an article 'bout "false fat" on yahoo! it was very similar to 'nother "false fat" article i read in men's fitness.   the most important way to avoid "false fat" is to rotate ur diet, i guess.   they also emphasize avoiding wheat.   i did eat a lot'f bread this week.   neway, i think i gained real fat, not "false fat."   i wanna go out.   i wanna find a copy of microtimes or that other silicon valley pc 'zine.   i 4get its name.   i'm really considering buying that kds rad.5 monitor from buy.com.   while washing dishes last nite, while kaela was passed out on the couch, i thought 'bought $$$.   in many ways, i do hate $$$.   it can ruin relationship, friendships, marriages, n' families. it's evil!   yet i need $$$ to buy this monitor or whatever stoopid stoopid techtoys i've been pondering.   i thought 'bought sumpthin' i must've heard @ church a long time 'go: $$$ is evil.   but u need $$$ to buy thing u need to survive... n' things that just make ur life easier.   so to some extent, u need $$$.   still u shouldn't let $$$ run ur life.   u jhouldn't .horde $$$.  u can save up $$$; bua u shouldn't horde it. what's the diff?  if u'r "saving" $$$, u'r saving up to buya specific sumpthin'.   if u'r "hording" $$$, u'r just saving up to c how much u can get; no specific goal(s)!   hrm, did i hear that @ church? i really think so, but it also sounds like stuff my grandfather has told me b4... either in person on my last trip to taiwan or thru my uncle a long time 'go when i was a kid.   $$$ sucks!   make love, not $$$!!!

this morn, i actually had a dream 'bout the infamous 9.11.   dreamed i was watching a movie or tv show w/ a re.enactment of the terrorists attacking the flight crew in the cockpit.   i was either watching a re.enactment or "actual video footage."   if it was s'pposed to be actual video footage, my dream's stoopid (or i am) cos it was filmed from the viewpt of looking into the cockpit from outside.   neway, i saw a faceless (not literally!) but antogonistic man accost a seated female crew member from behind n' repeatedly slice her arm w/ a knife.   maybe i dreamt this cos we practiced self.defense 'gainst a knife attack in taekwondo last nite.   now i realise i must've dreamt 'bout 9.11 cos the z95.7 morning show hosts must've been talking 'bout it, huh?

so next thurs morn, we have a company mtg. no lunch?! uhm, i hope they'll have bagels; not that i need more wheat in my diet but i just wanna know everything's ok.   u know how it is! i'm of that nervous, younq generation who saw great prosperity in the early 80s n' grunge rock n' flannel clad gangsta rap in the 90s.

i really liked dr. lieu's class last nite.   [later] so my manager gave me a li'l break.   w/ it, i went to fill up my gas tank.   then i went to compusa to browse n' pick up whatever free pc 'zine i could find.   compusa doesn't sell kds monitors, but it does sell the envision lcd monitor.   it looked very nice to me.   since critics say the kds rad.5 is better, it must be really kewl.   i looked @ this tiny vaio notebook pc. it's $1600, but it's really kewl. it has a built.in webcam.   i saw a nice sony clié handheld. it's nice n' small; very close to the size of my handspring visor edge, but thicker.   if it had springboard expandability like the handsprings, i'd like it more.   u know, personally, i like the clié better than ne of the palm brand handhelds.   well, as i walked back to my car, i picked up a copy of computer shopper pc 'zine.   never heard of it...   whatever! it has lots'a ads 4 li'l 'puter shops in the bay area.   none had kds rad.5 prices newhere as low as buy.com.   u know what?   i went ahead n' bought the monitor via buy.com! crazy, huh? whadya mean, "crazy"?! i did so much consumer research here! i researched the product. i researched prices!   i feel it's ok i just bought this monitor.  , i need a decent monitor, so i don't ruin my eyes.   i need a lcd monitor to save space in our apt!

tech tech tech! *sigh* i don't wanna be a teknoslave, a teknojunkie, or a nerd.   i don't wanna be a geek either.   i don't wanna be a gadget.obsessed yuppie!   well, maybe in the near future, i'll take kaela's cpu n' muthaboard (aka mobo) n' get her a new set.   she's so frustrated that the floppy drive doesn't werk. maybe i can try to live in a floppiless world.   [later] so i'm gonna have a new monitor, eh? a kds monitor.   i like the viewsonic logo, the burdies (finches); but their products r 2 expen$ive.   @ werk, i'm sittin' in front of a viewsonic monitor w/ finches.   it's not my monitor but 1 in the imaging lab.

my hair is so long now!   i used to have hair like this; not short n' spiky, just sorta parted in the middle n' combed back a li'l, gelled.   *sigh* it's maybe a tamer, more domesticated look.   more mature? argh! don't say that!!! i don't lihe this do! *sigh* i want a haircut! ...else i could wait a few more weeks n' grow it long 'nuff to resemble an asian rock star... or master yoon. heh heh. really, i don't like this shaggy hair, altho' i'm trying to make the best of it. <:-/

did u notice sumpthin' wrong w/ yesterday's entry?   i talked 'bout watching the 2nd episode of the nite of news radio.   if i was watching the 2nd episode, i should've ended the nov 07 entry n' started on 2day's nov 08 entry!   [later] well, it's thurs 2day.   this week i haven't been really leaving my office 4 lunch.   i miss going outdoors.   why don't i?   i'm trying to save $$$ n' not eat out; 1.   i worry that if i go out 4 a lunchtime walk i should wear sunscreen, n' i'm 2 lazy to apply sunscreen 4 a short walk; 2.   instead of going out on my lunchbreak, i goof off on the web during that time; 3.   fud's 2 expen$ive in frickin' corte madera!   this week, i started wearing clothes from my winter wardrobe.   i gotta take my summer clothes down to san jo!

[later] well, it's almost time to bust outta my office, but not quite yet, un4tunately.   lately, i haven't had ne probs falling asleep @ nite.   this week, @ nite, i just pass out.   we didn't watch blind date @ all.   most nites this week, kaela's been studying, so i guess i get bored n' fall asleep.   usually, kaela falls asleep b4 me, but not so much so this week.

roland didn't tivo the halloween simpsons.   instead he tivoed the musikal buffy episode, the 1 i taped.   so who has the halloween simpsons on tape?!?!   i'm glad i still practice taekwondo.   imagine how out of shape i'd be @ my age if i didn't!   of course, i want snowboarding season to start.   when'll the resorts open?!?! i'm a li'l sleepy now.

hi. how r u?   i feel like i haven't written a whole lot in my journal so far this week.   i've written some long posts in bronx's forums.   i probl'y had a title thought up 4 2day's entry, but right now i can't 'member it.   last nite, after werk i went to taekwondo practice, of course.   we had demo practice afterwards.   i've put in quite a bit of time 2wards organising this upcoming demo.   this semester is diff leading w/o sam.   i feel a lot more accountable, but i'm learning to delegate.   i don't bully ppl into doing my werk, but i know if i do everything myself, that's not good.   i need to trust ppl to handle tasks, to make decisions.   i appreciate that laura handled the demo team warm up order, that the beautiful kaela kang took care of the e.mail list, n' johnny's taking care of the board order.   i appreciate their help.   there isn't much time left b4 the big demo.   there isn't much time till the end of the taekwondo semester.   time flies, eh? *sigh* well, i can always say that, right?   just now i got a mypoints.com e.mail w/ a christmas theme.   christmas, eh?   kaela n' i discussed getting a li'l christmas tree this yr. a fake 1 or real 1?   dunno, prob'ly fake.   mon is veteran's day, but of course i don't get the day off!!! grrr! this throws off the taekwondo demo practice skedule!   we don't have much time.

after practice last nite, after showering, etc., i brought raymond w/ me to pick up kaela from her werk 'round 1100p.   then we met up w/ our other friends @ daruma: jerome, laura, clarence, owen, johnny, n' mike shea.   mie shea got fud to go, then left; but the rest of us ate there.   i had a chicken katsu n' cali roll dinner.   it was great chatting w/ owen after all these weeks / months since i last saw him.   he threw out the 2by2.net hard sale.   he's still promoting, definitely, n' he really likes it n' believes in it.   me, i don't wanna join 2by2.net, but i very much appreciate that owen's selling it in a very professional manner; no slick sales pitch.   if u do want to join 2by2.net, please go thru owen!

after we got home, i actually tried to do a li'l werk. it was like having homewerk!   i fell asleep.   it was really like being a student again, as u c.

so 'bout a week 'go geocities sent me an e.mail congratulating me on having a popular website w/ lots'a traffik.   then i read on n' found out they say i'm using more than my allotted bandwidth, so if i don't want my page to be sometimes unavailable, i gotta pay them $$$! pshaw! yah right!   whatever! i guess lotsa kids from bronx's r comin' to look @ my pics pages, which r on geocities.   they're such old pics!

i posted a coupl'a new reviews on dine.com cos i saw some1s taken my #2 reviewer spot... but not by much.   dang, i've been writing 2 much on bronx's!   i'm hungry. what am i gonna do 2nite??? no practice; master yoon told me i need to give the students a chance to study.   that's good; definitely responsible n' caring of him.   i got plenty of projects to keep me bizzy, right?   even if i don't go to the gym, i have plenty of taekwondo organizational biz to take care of.   i have my musik / djing projects.   i also wanna watch the musikal episode of buffy, which i taped yesterday.

[later] after i came home, i took kaela out to dinner @ yeitnal jjajang.   we both ate jjajangmyuhn.   it's pretty good there.   i like it better than my own.   then we went to pusan market.   kaela stayed in the car, n' i went in to buy a few groceries.   i guess i'll cook dduhkbokki 4 fri nite's taekwondo demo team potluck.   kaela wants me to marinate some maewoondalk.   well, maybe.   after groceries, kaela wanted coffee.   urgh, i don't like her to drink so much coffee, n' she knows i'd prefer she didn't drink so much caffeine... 4 her health's sake!   neway, we got me to compromise by asking 4 coffee boba.   how can i refuse boba?   i was pretty stuffed from the jjajangmyuhn, but i got a kiwi boba, the kind that's just syrup, water, ice, n' boba.

u know, 2nite, @ yeitnal jjajang n' in pusan market, i was surprised to c so many young koreans, very korean koreans, in that they were recent immigrants or 'least spoke korean really naturally n' com4tably.   i wonder how asian.american life is later in life... as in... well, u know, 'mongst most asians in my neighbourhood @ home when i grew up, the kids my age were mostly 2nd generation asian.americans.   their parents spoke their culture's language, but the kids... sure they definitely spoke some, but maybe not that great.   but what happens when our generation becomes parents?   like, u know dr. frank choy in taekwondo?   he's a 2nd generation korean.american, but he doesn't speak much korean.   when his family moved to america from korea, they lived in sf chinatown, i believe, n' every1 thought they were chinese.   neway, like he doesn't speak much korean, but most of the korean.americans i encounter 'round his age r definite 1st gen korean.american immigrants.   so how does he feel in those situations.   i mean, shoot, i encounter situations in taekwondo where every1 'round me is speaking korean, so i gotta speak korean.   what 'bout 4 him? 1) he's older, n' 2) he is korean.   well, then there's me n' lots of my taiwanese friends who don't speak taiwanese 2 great... nor mandarin.   well... i'll tell u, chinese.american n' taiwanese.american parents rn't as strict 'bout making their kids speak their culture's language as korean parents r upon their kids.   i had this discussion w/ friends a long time 'go, freshman yr.   well, personally, i have experienced plenty of discrimination from chinese.american immigrants 4 not being able to speak mandarin, i think.   i've been called "abc" in a derogatory way.   so yah, i don't expect it'll get easier later in life, right? n' i don't expect it's easier 4 those guys older than me.   well, i guess this is an asian.am issue that's been around 4 a long while.   yah, i wonder what guys like dr. choy, perry, n' dr. lieu think 'bout it.   someday, when we have time, maybe i'll ask.

ok, speaking of asian / asian.am issues, i wrote a long schpiel 2day on bronx's junkyard 'bout differences in gender treatment 'mongst korean, chinese, japanese, n' "american" cultured: "beno's schpiel on differences in gender treatment 'mongst korean, chinese, japanese, n' "american" cultures"   right now, kaela's studying on the couch, n' i'm typing on my 'puter.   we're listening to that jaurim 'true' live cd.   it's really kewl.   really, if u'r a person who doesn't believe u like korean or asian pop, u gotta check out this cd... 1st off, it's not really "pop," it's altrock.   a 3 guy, 1 gurl group w/ a bit of an indie rock sound, altho' i won't pretend that their an "indie rock" band... definitely a group that's made it big n' gone a li'l corporate in asia.   what 'bout the lee junghyun 3jip cd?   well, it's good, but i now wish her musik'd be that trance.ish stuff she had b4 like "feel me."   now it's more "pop" sounding, but it ain't bad.

yesterday, my cowerker brought us 2 boxes of krispy kreme doughnuts.   right away, i ate 2.   late in the afternoon, i ate another 0.5.   after dinner, 'round midnite, i shared 1 w/ the beautiful kaela kang.   my cowerker sez sf'll have its own krispy kreme location starting nov 13.

how was yesterday?   c, i actually left my handspring @ werk last nite, so i didn't get to upload my entry. crazy! well, i survived a nite w/o my handspring!   i'm not a teknoslave!   i led demo practice.   then i picked up dinner 4 kaela n' me from thai basil. i drove johnny n' raymond there, but apparently lots'a other taekwondo ppl had planned to eat @ the durant fud ghetto: sam sa n' his gf amy were @ thai basil.   laura, jerome, jeff, n' romy were @ steve's bbq.   the wushu club was @ mandarin house.   as i left, w/ johnny n' raymond, we saw efren come in.

really, many of us in taekwondo r unhappy w/ the way things have been run lately.   this semester so far definitely showed a return to the thug rule idea.   many of us don't like that a certain some1 has assumed leadership roles n' has really chased away many taekwondo club members.   it is really bad.   we can't have this macho, fratboy attitude in the ucmap leadership!   we're running an educational program here, not just a sports team! this current trend is very unhealthy 4 the martial arts program.   who's out there doing the office werk n' fundraising that keeps ucmap alive?!?! we can't chase away ppl who love taekwondo n' develop our program just cos some punks think they rn't tough enuf etc. this is really #!!@ed up! seriously! #!!@ this $#!+! we gotta do sumpthin' to fix it!   i'll say 1 thing tho' to all who agree w/ me that things've gotta change: we gotta take the initiative n' take leadership roles n' responsibility.   these punks end up in teaching positions is that they ask 4 it or @ least act willing to accept the tasks.   there're plenty of ppl in ucmap that make such an effort to dodge responsibility!

[later, evening b4 going to practice] so yesterday, i loved how i got all these packages: a big shipment of movies n' cds from yesasia (i toldju 'bout that yesterday), n' i got a morning glory shipment w/ lots'a mashimaro stuff, n' i got 'nother backordered shipment from yesasia, just 1 cd.   right now, i really prefer to use ups over usps cos usps is being really slow right now.   i also got a refill pack of air freshner pellets from the morning glory store.   i just refilled my penguin.   right now, i'm still @ home watching the "mr. sparkle" episode of the simpsons.   when it comes out, i do wanna watch shallow hal, but kaela brought up a good pt: does the movie expect us to assume that ugly ppl r beautiful inside while, all beautiful ppl r ugly inside?!   i surely hope not.   some ppl r beautiful on the inside n' the out!   a perfect example is kaela! :-)   *sigh* i won't get to watch the musikal episode of buffy the vampire slayer, n' it looks so kewl!!!   @ the same time, i'll be missing the halloween simpsons episode!

[a li'l later, during the 2nd episode of news radio] hrm, i feel a li'l bit like a traitor 4 watching news radio.   in a way, i ought to be vehemently boycotting upn44's nonsimpsons programming, huh?   oh well.   some good guys: well, i've talked 'bout asian/asian couples in american media, how i don't c 'nuff of 'em.   well, it's not like i'm saying nething bad 'bout mixed ethnicity couples; but, as i explained b4, i just don't get why american media can, in good conscience, portray plenty of caucasian/caucasian couples n' african/african couples, yet not many asian/asian couples.   neway, i saw 2 companies show asian/asian couples in their tv commericals recently: jc penny's n' orchard supply hardware.   on upn44, i saw a brief ad from rottentomatoes.com, where paul lee n' patrick lee werk.

yesterday, i couldn't think of a good entry title.   yesterday's entry title stinks, but oh well! *sigh* i got 2day's title from the go eun poetry book the beautiful kaela kang bought on fri.   it's called "na ue pado sori." (that means "the sound of my wave," while my title means "the sound of my grape."

so it's very exciting that ken n' grace r now engaged!   it's so kewl! so right now, both ken n' dave r engaged... not to each other! *roll eyes*

[later] i just got my yesasia order n' looked thru all my new cds.   i was looking thru the booklet of my jaurim live cd n' had 1 of those "dang, i wish i were a rockstar instead of an engineer" moments.   [later] now i'm in the parking lot of the greenbrae strip mall.   i think i'll eat a roadrunner burrito 4 lunch, but i'm not sure.   if my only career were being a dj, the time i'd hafta put in is a lot more than lay ppl realise.   besides time i'd spend @ actual gigs, i'd be putting lotsa time in @ home planning out mixes.   lay ppl don't realise that a dj's gotta study his/her musik a li'l.   we don't just throw whatever song on, on the spot. 'least a good dj won't.

so this morn, i woke up, picked up raymond, n' went right back to memorial stadium to do the ucmap fundraising stadium clean up.   *sigh* well, we were there 4 'bout 3 hrs.   we picked up trash in the stadium bleachers n' from kleeberger stadium where there was a postgame party featuring a concert by the altrock group save ferris.   i heard that from afar yesterday... n' i guess we were there 4 a li'l bit b4 we went back to memorial stadium to pick up the seat cushions, huh?   yah. save ferris: so that group has, like, some asian guys in it, huh?   i'm not all that familiar w/ them.   didn't they do a cover of "come on elieen"???   i think they did.   this morn, while cleaning up the trash 4 the concert, i found a guitar pick, which was most likely used by save ferris.   hrm, if i were a big save ferris fan, i guess that'd mean so much, but well... 'least it was still a free guitar pick... w/ some notes left in it.   tiffany lieuw also found 1.   i also saw an unused guitar string... prob'ly a g string.   actually, the band left a lot of trash, the packaging from their drumheads n' drumsticks... stuff like that.   well, after the stadium clean up, i went home.   i was tired n' grumpy.   the beautiful kaela kang was cooking soojeibi.   i took a shower, then we ate, n' then we watched a show on kqed: dogs w/ jobs.   it was really cute. *sigh* we like doggies.   well, i'm still just sittin' @ home.   *sigh* i really wish i could go do sumpthin', but i dunno if there's nething to do. :-( big time :-(!!!! *sigh* like, staying home to werk on djing stuff is really kewl, n' i like it... but well, as the weekend progressed, i just got so sick of being inside.   i'm not being produktive @ all.   i'm not doing nething worthwhile.   it all cms so useless.   i'm just sitting here n'... *sigh* nuthin' to do...

[later] so kaela n' i went to walgreen's then to toby's apt.   we saw toby, his sister elissa, his neighbour geof (who i've known from san jo, b4 he came to cal), n' geof's cousin tracy, who i've also know from san jo, back from leland hi skool, etc.   we ate spaghetti w/ meat sauce n' sausage n' jao-ze (mandoo).   we chatted 4 a while.   we gave toby his b.day present, a merino wool sweater.   i bought the exact same sweater from octopus when i bought his on fri.   then toby's mom had to leave 4 the airport to go back home to san diego... actually santee, the "boonies" east of san diego.   then kaela n' i went to sweetheart 4 boba drinks.   on the way there, ken called me... guess what!

ken's getting married!!!!!!!!

i'm gonna be his best man!   wow!!! this is really kewl.   congratulations!   well, the wedding won't be till next sept, but well... that just means they/we have time to make it all a beautiful wedding!   heh, n' i told ken... "this means i gotta put on a bachelor's party!"   ha ha ha... well, we'll c!

well, i didn't get to write 'bout all i did yesterday.   well, yah... i had the day off cos my boss has some visitor next fri, so he wants every1 there next fri, n' my manager won't be in on mon, so he wants me to be there on mon, so yesterday ended up as my 1st day off 4 nov, while nov 30, 4 the wutc press demo, will be my 2nd day off.   what did i do?   i went to watch a poetry reading by korean poet go eun @ noon w/ the beautiful kaela kang.   it was pretty kewl.   it was in morrison library, the musik library in doe (library), berkeley's main library.   it was neat.   kaela bought 1 of his poetry books, n' he signed it.   it was really neat to go to a poetry reading.   apparently, these happen every week, but usually w/ local or 'least domestic poets.     afterwards, we ate lunch @ eat.a.pita, n' did a li'l shopping @ octopus.   then we went home.   hrm... what did i do?   hrm... nuthin' 2 memorable, i guess.   i werked on musik stuff.   we ate mandoo 4 dinner.   i also made some not.so.good smoothies.   hrm... that's 'bout it.   we stayed home.   kaela had to study.

2day, i spent most of the day in memorial stadium.   i was there 4 a uc martial arts program fundraiser.   we sold seat cushions @ the futbol game v. arizona.   we sold lots'a seat cushions.   cal was losing pretty miserably, so we left 4 lunch @ halftime.   we went to the durant fud ghetto, so i bought some mool naengmyuhn @ bear ramyuhn house cos it was such a beautiful, warm day.   i was afraid they didn't have it nemore cos it's not summer nemore, but the lady there sed they did, so mmm... perfect!   there were only a few of us selling cushions in the morning, but tons of ppl came to help us do the seat cushion collection.   c, we didn't really "sell" cushions, we "rented" them out 4 $4.   after the game the renters leave their cushions on the bleachers, n' we hafta go fetch them.   like 50 ppl from the martial arts clubs showed up!   it went so fast!   it was really kewl!   but then master yoon had told me to take every1 out to pizza afterwards, so how could i buy pizza 4 50 ppl?   well, i took 'em to northside laval's n' bought a good amt of pizza n' soda, but not an overwhelming amt.   ppl weren't all that hungry neway... ha! except 4 george pearson who ate 4 hot dogs, some nachos from la burrita, n' then some laval's pizza.   the hot dogs: c, mike sia saw that the concessions vendor was gonna throw out a bunch'a hot dogs, so he asked 4 them, n' the vendor gave 'em to him!   ha ha ha.   funny.   well, *sigh* 2morrow morn i'll be back @ memorial stadium to do a stadium clean up fundraiser 4 ucmap.   wow, is this my weekend job now? stadium janitor?   ha ha ha. j/k.   *sigh* well, i sort'a wish i could get out this weekend a li'l.   i wanted to watch either monsters, inc. or jet li's the one this weekend, but i don't think i'll get to.   *sigh* well, it's fun to play, but i've got stuff to do.   can't always play n' not do werk, right? i have things to do... kaela just asked me, as i was typing this, "do i wish our lives could be like it was during summer?" *sigh* she sed our lives were so free back then.   *sigh* yah, it was pretty kewl, but i felt 2 lazy.   like, i don't mind that i gotta do more taekwondo practice nowadays cos it makes me feel more alive.   true, kaela's skoolwerk stresses her out, n' it stress me out, n' that makes me not happy, but... *sigh* i think i've come to just accept the fact that this is a really crappy semester cos kaela has some hard classes, so well... i think i just surrendered to that fact.   like, as i type this... it's 915p on a sat nite... !!! hey, that's almost a cure song!!! "10:15 saturday night"!!!!   ha ha ha.   well, shoot... it's 915p sat nite, n' yah... i really wish i could be out doing sumpthin'... nething!   i wish i could be watching a movie or well... like doing sumpthin' outside... but *sigh* then 'gain... on nites like these, when we stay in cos kaela's studying, i do sometimes get musik/djing stuff done.   u know? that's good 2.   this week, i'm thinking... well, i don't wanna make this announcement 2 prematurely, but i think i can actually release a benomix4jip by christmas!   we'll c... :-) yah, so that'd make me happy, n' if i had been out bowling last nite, i wouldn't have been werking on my musik stuff.   *sigh* i do wish i had better djing software.   i just have this crappy soundforge 4... well, i appreciate that andy gave it to me, but it's not the best tool 4 djing, n' it's pretty outdated, i guess...   i wonder if the soundforge lite that came w/ my soundblaster live! platinum has mp3 support. dunno...   *sigh* there's stuff i wanna buy, but *sigh* i dunno when i'll get these things.

ok, lemme sound like a selfish, li'l, disgusting brat 4 a sec n' talk 'bout some things i want...   no... seriously, it's not like i expect other ppl to get these things 4 me, so i don't think it's bratty 2 talk 'bout them.   i'm gonna buy these things 4 myself eventually... of course, it does sound materialistic, right?   well, frick! it's not that... it's just i wanna think 'bout some things i think i could use... *sigh* k, here goes:

• 1. new dj headfon monitors to replace the problematic numark 1s i bought from nelson.   recommended produkt: sony mdr.v700.dj
• 2. 15" flat panel lcd monitor.   recommended produkt: kds rad-5
• 3. dvd/vcd/mp3cdr player.   recommended produkt: samsung dvd-n501
• 4. ethernet system 4 kaela n' me. recommended produkt: unspecified
• 5. handspring eyemodule 2 (just a fun, stoopid, li'l tech toy).   recommended produkt: i guess that 1.
• 6. (ok, now i'm getting ridiculous n' talkin' 'bout things i prob'ly won't buy) a pair of pioneer cdj-1000 (scratching cd turntables that could replace my cdj-500 pair).   recommended produkt: well, i guess that 1.
• 7. (uhm, this is very unnecessary, but if i ever wanna play tennis w/ kaela) a pair of tennis shoes or xtrainer shoes.   recommended produkt: dunno, i just don't usually wear white shoes.
• 8. (ok, this is sumpthin' i don't need.) amd athlon xp processor n' muthaboard (aka "mobo"). recommended produkt: k, i don't really need an amd athlon xp, but i need sumpthin' better than this amd k6ii-300 i'm using right now!

ok, so u think i sound pretty materialistic, earthyl, n' bratty, right?   *sigh* well, shoot... honestly, i'll prob'ly buy some of the things on this list, but not all of them... unless i unexpectedly stumble 'pon a large 'mount of $$$ somehow.   heh heh... maybe @ 2morrow's stadium clean up i'll find a briefcase full of "c notes," right? i haven't heard of $100 bills being called "c notes" in a while.   do rappers still say "c notes" in their songs? dunno.

it's 105a.   so that scary werk mtg i mentioned, it turned out t be actually just a manager's mtg.   that's why it was in the late afternoon w/ no lunch or fud.   i was worried, if it was an all company mtg @ that, w/o fud, it'd hafta be bad news.   the managers have their mtgs @ those late afternoon times all the time.   no big deal, i don't think.   in fact, they looked decently cheerful as they exited.   i hope it was good news. *crosses fingers* i could really use some good news 'bout finances, career, economy, etc.

2nite, i went to taekwondo practice.   afterwards, i went home to pick up the beautiful kaela kang, then we met up w/ clarence, sally, raymond, laura, n' johnny @ durant fud ghetto.   we all ate @ vietnam village.   it was pretty cold outside 2nite.   we ate pretty late.

yesterday was phil's b.day.   happy b.day, phil!!! phil's in law skool @ university of oregon, in case u 4got.   2day is grace n' steve's wedding anniversary.   happy anniversary, grace n' steve!!! weddings, weddings, weddings! my cousin jennifer is getting married in texas 2morrow. congratulations!   well, i doubt she's reading this.   i did say that dave's engaged, right? i'm sure i did.   well, 1 more time, congratulations! u know, jeonq kang (scott) of medea sin, he n' his wife amy r pregnant.   kewl! congratulations!

look 4 more text here later!   [later] now it's almost noon.  oh, u know what happened?   my boss n' manager switched my day off from what i planned 4 this month.   u know how i need to take nov 30 off 4 the big taekwondo demo?   so i was gonna trade that fri 4 a mon.   well, in the end they gave me 2day off instead of that... so i'm not @ werk right now.   i'm in kaela's office.   ok, gotta go.

2day's halloween.   i wish i could say i have some wild, crazy plans 4 2nite.   seunghwan wants to go to the castro to c all the wild n' crazy stuff there.   he asked me to go w/ him, but i figure the beautiful kaela kang'll hafta do hw or study, so we shouldn't make ne big plans.   i do wanna hang out w/ seunghwan sometime.   things just somehow don't werk out.   he't had some big immigration prob, n' i meant to ask brandie 4 help, but i keep 4getting.   seunghwan's korean, but he lived in germany 4 a while.   he went to brown 4 college then moved out here 4 a job that disappeared.   *sigh* what a crazy chain of events!   now he can't look 4 a job cos he needs a werk visa.   hard.   so he's goinq back to korea 4 2 weeks soon to do some paperwerk.   he lives w/ chals in those hi.rise condos by 99 in albany.   i don't c chals these days.   he called me last fri 4 directions to a so. bay in.n.out burgers.   seunghwan told me they went to a church retreat this past weekend.   neway, this isn't seunghwan n' chals's journal! it's beno's journal.   i just wanna hang w/ seunghwan b4 he leaves.   i haven't cn ken yamaguchi in a while either.

so last nite i went to taekwondo practice.   as 1 might've expected 'twas a small turnout, but i want to go congratulate the team, 'least those that showed up.

[later]

"mercury conputers: proving that high price doesn't mean quality!"
-- from pc week magazine

i put that quote in my benoquotes section.   do u guys know 'bout my benoquotes section?   u c that 1 random quote that pops up on that g.book index page?   u can click the "benoquotes" link n' view a collection of quotes.   not only that, u can add to that list! woo hoo!   what more couldju ask 4, eh?

well, i know what more u could ask 4... why don'tchu click click click   kewl, huh?   that's the kari-out panda...   u can also find a quote in the benoquotes section relating to that panda.

well, right now it's evening; it's halloween evening.   it's a wed nite, yet i'm not @ taekwondo practice.   crazy, huh?!   i gave the demo team the nite off... after all, it's halloween nite.   me, i'm so sore!   i dunno if it's cos i was so lazy n' didn't exercise over the weekend or if it's cos the weather's colder now.   dunno.   well, i left werk this evening, drove 'cross the bridge 2wards home, then i went to solano/albany safeway to buy a few groceries.   solano ave was full of kids: some trick.or.treaters n' some just random teenage kids that wanted to wander the streets or sumpthin'.   it was hard to drive up solano.   after grocery shopping, i picked kaela up from werk.   then i drove home, n' i cooked jjajangmyuhn.   we ate.   we've been watching enterprise.   i want to werk on dj musik stuff 2nite.   as u know, i'm trying to put more effort into it all since i have a chance to dj @ bellagio... n' that means a lot to me.

2morrow, we're having a company mtg.   i'm worried cos the mtg isn't during lunchtime.   if the mtg isn't during lunchtime, then it must be bad news... *sigh* i dunno... i really don't know...   *sigh* will i have a job next yr?!   grrr! i don't wanna hafta think 'bout this, man... well, shoot... it can't be that bad of news, right? couldn't be like ne "company's going under" kind'a stuff... it cms like it'll be normal bizness 4 a while... it cms like it. *sigh* i dunno.

there's gonna be a buffy musical episode?!?! i wanna c it!

i'm sittin' in my car in the parking lot of a strip mall in san rafael.   i'm wrappin' up my lunchbreak.   i had burger king 4 lunch, whopper meal.   i came to this strip mall to get "free after rebate" stuff from compusa n' staples.   from compusa i got a pen stylus n' a cellfon handsfree kit.   from staples, i got nuthin'!!!   they absolutely suck!!!   they lured me in w/ free cd-rs, a digital video capture device, a mic/headphone set, n' a webcam.   none were in stock!   they suck!

we all know it's gonna rain 2day.   all the weather 4casts told us to bring umbrellas w/ us this morn.   it's noon now, n' so far lt hasn't rained.   the beautiful kaela kang is s'pposed to come to my office to meet me 4 lunch, but i can't cm to reach her cellfon.   yesterday, i tried to pick up her "repaired" startac 7868, but when ken checked it, we found out they didn't really repair it.   grr!!! last nite, ken ran out of time b4 he could switch kaela's service back to the loaner fon, but he got 'round to doing it this morn.   still, i'm just getting her v.mail!   my cowerker benn brought jones the puppy!   she's gotta c it.

i think i fattened myself up this weekend.   i really feel it!   [later] i ate so much this weekend, so much bad.4.me fud.   lots'a aisukuriimu/gelato, pizza yesterday w/ ken... i didn't exercise @ all this weekend.   it's as if i were trying to fatten up 4 winter, or to be cooked 4 thanksgiving or christmas dinner.

[later] so yesterday, i brought roland down to san jo.   i needed to pick up my winter clothes, n' he needed to buy a fon from ken.   we went to my san jo house.   my mom fed us pumpkin pie.   she could tell roland's nec was injured by the way he sat.   we went to milpitas.   we ate round table pizza w/ ken, grace, grace's cousin, n' ken's employee.   roland bought a nokia 8260 on an at&t plan.   i drove home via 101 n' 92.   i stopped by hyun's apt n' traded my mix cd 4 his.   then i drove us home.

i can't believe daylite savings time is over now.   now it really feels like fall!   last nite i cooked oyako donburi 4 us.   kaela made smoothies.   we watched toy story on abc 7.   i saw many family oriented ads.   i saw ads w/ good asian.am representation; that's good.

2day i drowsily woke up.   kaela n' i started some laundry.   i dropped her off @ her werk then went to my werk.   she came to visit me 4 lunch after taking care of the laundry @ home.   we played a li'l w/ my cowerker benn's puppy jones.   it's growing!   we ate lunch @ long life noodle co. by my office.   it was very bizzy there.   it was very bizzy there.   we shared spring rolls, kaela had chicken chow fun, n' i had pad thai.   i tell u! i eat so much these days!   n' i'm so shaggy!!! am i putting on a thick coat 4 winter? fat n' fur. *sigh* that's not good!

[late] now i'm home.   oh yah! right b4 lunch, i found kaela's handspring under the passenger seat of her car.   man! we're both so relieved.   i think the compact flash reader springboard module is a great idea!   well, late this afternoon, it did rain.   it rained only a li'l, but it rained.   so last nite, after i got home, hyun sent me a msg on bronx's.   he sed, after hearing my cd he thinks bellagio would really consider asking me to dj there.   (when i talk to ppl, i hafta keep explaining that bellagio is the new korean nite club that replaced avaron.) really, as a dj, this is pretty much my dream gig.   to some djs, i'm sure it sounds smalltime or even "cheesy."   however, 4 me, it's my ideal venue.   i guess i'd be like thz marky mark's character in rockstar.   of course, i haven't cn that movie yet or nething, i'm just goin' off the trailer (n' guessin' what the plot is).   yah, i'd really like to dj there!

2day, owen called my 'bout 2by2.net.   i told him i wasn't interested n' had heard 'bout it from jason, sam, n' darlene.   he took it personally@ 1st, but eventually i explained to him that it just wasn't my thing.

man, last nite (as in fri nite cos it's 150a...): 2 much traffik!   it took me what... 2 hrs to get home?!   then we got ready to go out.   i took the beautiful kaela kang out to dinner @ takara in j.town.   it took us like 45 mins to get to sf thru all the halloween partygoer traffik!   then when we got to j.town, i actually had to use the j.town garage 4 the 1st time in my life.   i had to change our 830p reservation to 900p.   i put my name down as "beno," n' i think the host that answered the fon thought i'd be japanese n' called me "binosan."   it was as really authentic restaurant.   i read 'bout it as being 1 of the bay area's top 100 restaurants.   being there reminded me that japan actually does have a culture of its own.   2 often, in the bay area, i c japanese ppl who... well, don't cm to show ne particular "japanese" culture, so i 4get what japanese culture is.   being in takara made me think otherwise.   it made me more curious to c what it's really like in japan.   the restaurant was kind'f expensive tho'.   i ordered this uh... pollock egg tea soup rice thing... i think u call that kind of dish ochazuke.   neway, it was $11, way overpriced; but that's s'pposedly their specialty.   we also had a bit of sushi, which was really good.   i wasn't totally full tho'.   we walked 'round j.town, n' we bought a green tea gelato crepe from sophie's crepes.   we always c that place, but on fri nite, we actually got to patronise it.   we took a fun neoprint @ the korean neoprint machine.   well, we left j.town n' went to darren wong's housewarming party.   darren greeted us n' sed we were the only 1s of "his" friends to show up.   the other ppl were his housemates' friends.   i recognised a coupl'f the guests from cal, but they weren't ppl i really knew.   1 gurl i recognised as my friend / neighbour leonard koike's exgf... or 'least it was a gurl he cmed to liked n' hung 'round a lot... dunno...   i didn't mention nething cos she obviously isn't w/ leonard nemore, n' i soon realised she was darren's roommate's gf.   darren graduated from cal in 1999 in english n' is now studying law @ usf.   he went to cibc church n' knows a lot of ppl that i used to hang out w/ or that kaela used to hang out w/.   kaela n' i both sed it was neat to talk to some1 'bout ol' college days.   like, sometimes we talk to younger ppl n' reminisce 'bout college; but last nite we reminisced 'bout college in a diff way! it was truly in the past 4 all parties.   it's diff.   really, i don't mind hanging w/ younger ppl, but when i hang w/ ppl closer to my age... well, it's a welcomed experience cos it just doesn't happen so much these days.   i dunnno what happened to ppl that actually graduated w/ me, my yr.... or started cal w/ me.   i guess most of them either moved to the silicon valley, to sf, or went out of state 4 grad/law skool.   some prob'ly also moved / moved back to socal.   well, toby's 'round... in fact, i think he tried to call me this morn.

so 2day was such ... oh... i mean, yesterday... it's 156a right now.   yesterday was such a frickin' lethargic day.   i woke up.   kaela was having her friend diana come over, so they could werk on their outbreak investigation thingy.   i realised i was gonna get kicked out of the bedroom cos they needed kaela's 'puter, so i hurried to the bathroom, showered, n' got dressed.   [ok, the server crashed, n' i was frustrated.   i stopped updated 4 the nite, n' now it's morn, n' i'm back.] i werked on my dj stuff in the living room, while kaela n' diana werked on their outbreak investigation stuff in our room.   we had such a lazy day after that.   kaela n' i just sat 'round the living room being totally lazy!   finally, 'round dinner time, we got our butts out the door.   we ate dinner @ pyungchang soondubujip.   it was really good.   then we went grocery shopping @ pusan market.   we bought a lotta stuff.   that free gift 4 spending over $50 n' then the nicer free gift 4 spending over $100 r somg good incentives.... well, 'least they motivate us.   after that, we came home.   we watched the korean movie kara on vcd.   it was a really kewl movie!   i'd like u to c it someday.   i dunno... i thought it was really good.   like, some of the other korean movies we've cn r so frickin' depressing.   this 1... it's much better.   i guess the most famous actor/actress in the movie is kim heesun.   darren had her posters up in his room.   she's pretty popular, pretty famous.   yah, all the actors n' actresses r pretty young.   they were all younger than me.   the main character, played by song seunghoon, he looks 2 young 4 his role, i think.   like, how could some1 have such a nice job @ his age?   i dunno if it's a really nice job, but they send him travelling n' stuff, so it sounds like he's a li'l bit up the corporate ladder... like, not a manager, but 'least it looks like a decent job.   the last important actor/actress in the movie is kim hyunjoo... that's a common name, but i had just cn that name in a korean newspaper a li'l earlier.   yah, it was her.

after the movie, we carved a jack.o.lantern.   u gotta c it!   we used this pumpkin carving kit i bought from walgreen's.   it actually turned out pretty good.   ok, our secret is that we used a stencil, a pattern.   the jack.o.lantern isn't a face; it's 3 ghosts saying boo.   out of the selection of patterns, from easy, moderate, n' challenging, they called it "moderate."   it was fun.

ok, now i'm gonna go to san jo soon.   i'm bringing roland.   he saw some ad @ freecom cellular in berkeley on uni, but man... after he described it to me, i know it's such tricky advertising!   they show a picture of a nokia 8290 w/ a caption that sez "free!"   then they go on to describe a kewl verizon plan.   grrr!   i know exactly what's up! a nokia 8290 only werks on a cingular plan, not on verizon!   if u purchase a cingular plan, they might give u the 8290 4 free... but u can't get that verizon plan w/ the nokia 8200 series.   ken does have the 8260 on an at&t plan, since the 8260 werks w/ at&t, but there's no 8200 fon 4 verizon yet. *sigh* that does suck that companies r so slow w/ making cdma versions of their fons!   still, verizon werks well, werks fine 4 me.   if only the u.s. had a gsm system all set up like asia, then we could use cingular n' not worry 'bout lousy service...   of course, asia has all the kewl fons, n' the u.s. gets crap!   i'm also gonna stop by home to pick up winter clothes.   i'll also be going to home depot w/ ken, i think... oh yah, i'm bringing roland down... hrm..   well, on my way back, i'm gonna swing by hyun's place to give him my cd... he talked to me 'bout djing @ bellagio w/o even hearing my cd, but man... like, altho' i don't think my cd's the most professional thing... after all, i made it in 1 afternoon after 2 takes... but i gotta show them that i seriously mix korean gayo. ('member that's "gah yo," nuthin' "gay" this or that...)

well, the beautiful kaela kang n' i taught the white belt class last nite.   it went ok.   i think we tried to cram 2 much in 1 nite, tho'.   we gotta remember they're just white belts.   afterwards, we 168ed w/ roland.   i called raymond b4 we went to 168, n' i talked to several ppl in texas 4 collegiates.   i also talked to raymond earlier.   brandie n' bruce went to texas to watch.   man, it sounds like they're having so much fun! *sigh* in a way, i wish i could be there, but i know i have so much to take care of n' can't do stuff like that these days.   *sigh* so i can't even go to texas 4 my cousin's wedding.   i feel so bad 'bout that.   this week i'm gonna werk 5 days, as i'm going to werk 2morrow.   last week, i werked 5 days.   next week, i'll werk 5 days.   *sigh* it's like going back to the original werk skedule, what "normal" ppl werk.   well, shoot... these days, do "normal" ppl have jobs? or r all "normal" ppl laid off?   well, s'pposedly after we finish up this yr, i'll either go back to werkin' 5 days a week 4 my company, or else my company won't be 'round nemore or sumpthin'...   dunno.   i guess if i were to get a diff job, i'd most likely be werking 5 days a week, unless i found a job like my old ebmud job where we got every other fri off 4 werking 9 hr days.   well, i'm really tired n' sleepy right now, of course, so i'll go to bed soon.   nething else i wanna say right now?   *sigh* hrm... can't really think of nething, can i?   2nite, kaela n' i'll prob'ly go to darren's (idigu) housewarming party in sf after going to dinner somewhere in sf.   no specific plans yet.   i assume i'll c ken sometime this weekend cos i need to pick up kaela's repaired fon n' prob'ly bring roland down to buy a new fon.

[later, 8 sumpthin' in the morning] i'm still @ home, i haven't left 4 werk yet.   man!   hyun pmed (personal msged) me 'bout djing @ club bellagio.   he sed it's a very "unofficial" offer.   man... seriously, this'd be like a dream, u know?   but man, do i have time?   shoot. this'd be really kewl.   u know i'd love it.   the venue is perfect 4 me.   the things is, he doesn't even know how perfect this venue is 4 me... heh... i mean, i don't mean to brag, but i personally think i really could fill the job.   i was planning on sending him off a copy of benomix3jip this week, but dang... i've been so bizzy.   really, i think, if the club heard the cd, they'd be decently interested in me.   hyun sed that they'd really love to find a dj that plays korean musik, n' yah! what is it i do?!   well, especially, if they hear benomix3jip... (i know that was a sentence fragment; that's why it receieved an ellipsis.   n' that last sentence is a possible run.on.)

[a li'l later] man, i'm still @ home, still haven't left yet.   i had to wake up kaela.   i'll drive her to campus 'gain 2day as i've been doing most this week.   i heard nellie furtado's "turn out the lights" on z95.7's gene n' julie morning show.   so how is nellie furtado not edie brickell?!?! she sounds like edie brickell, n' her musik sounds like edie brickell's.   heh! well, i just had to make a musik comment not related to korean musik!   *sigh* well, i'm still prette excited 'bout what hyun sed.

i think 2day's windows xp's "official" release date.   i installed win xp on kaela's 'puter a long time 'go now.   last nite, she was having so much fun playing w/ all the included multimedia programs.   man! it's more of a software package than just an operating system!

do ppl always look older / more mature in pics than real life?   [now i'm @ werk.] it cms to werk both ways, 4 good or 4 bad.   just recently, i've had this particular thought.   most gasoo/singers, celebrities, the 1s who r young, they look older / more mature in pics.   they prob'ly like that cos otherwise they'd look like the "kids" that they really r.   also, like on blind date, i c "real ppl" on tv, right?   to me, they usually look older than they really r!   u know, some ppl say asian ppl don't show their age as much as ppl of other races.   sort'f in consolation n' sort'f sincerely, i'd say asian ppl don't necessarily age "better," they just age "differently."   neway, since most of the ppl i c on american tv ain't asian, maybe that the reason they look older to me.   neway, sometimes to me, hearing stuff like "asians age better" is 1 of those model minority (in a slightly diff from normal way) things that almost offend me.   i.e., it sort'f exoticises the asian race.   sure, if i look @ it that way, it sucks!   neway, sometimes looking "mature" is good, n' sometimes looking "old" is bad.   neway, it's not that pics always make ppl look older.   that'd be an absurd generalisation.   it's just that recently i noticed some examples of it, i guess.   i like pics!   4 the most part, pics r a good thing!

[later] now i'm @ lunch, a late lunch.   i'm @ david's taqueria 'gain gettin' the exact same thing i ordered last time: chicken burrito w/ black beans, hot salsa, n' whole wheat tortilla.   i liked it last time.   my mom thinks i don't get 'nuff sleep.   these days, @ nite, i fall asleep right away!   i have no probs falling asleep! [later, after lunch] i talked to ken.   i like chatting w/ ken.   i like when we can talk talk, not just talk bizness.   i'm sure he thinks so 2... cos so many guys just want to buy things from him n' talk bizness.   me n' ken, we go way back.   hey! so dave yee is engaged!   he recently proposed to emily in hawaii.

from a peanuts comic strip: charlie brown sez, "yes, ma'am. i've decided to quit school.. i'll probably never amount to anything anyway... i'm going to devote the rest of my life to making my dog happy.. no, ma'am. i haven't discussed this yet with my mother and father... but i talked it over with my dog, and he seemed to think it's a great idea..

[later] it took me like 2 hrs to drive home from werk 2nite!!! such bad traffik!!!   i talked to raymond, jerome n' laura... kaela n' i both talked to them.   the cal team is in the lead after poomsae (forms)!   woohoo!   kewl!   2morrow's the gyuhroogi (sparring) competition.   i have dinner reservations 4 kaela n' me.   we gotta hurry out!   we're late!   i werked 2 late, then the traffik.   kaela werked late 2!   rn'tchu gladju checked to c if i updated more?

i'm finishing up my lunchbreak.   4 lunch i ate chicken curry leftovers.   then i went to the village mail to browse.   oh yah, i got gas 1st.   i bought a minute maid 16 oz oj from a machiue @ the beacon gas station.   it co$t $1.25.   @ 1st, i was attracted to the fruitopia, but i knew the same sized oj was a better deal.   the bottled oj isn't usually as tasty as the carton oj.   i browsed macy's n' walked 'round the mall.   i need winter clothes.   well shoot, i need to pick up my winter clothes from san jo!   i shouldn't waste 2 much $$$ on new clothes.   doesn't cm like i have so much more summer clothes than winter clothes?   or is it that, in the summer, i always say it cms like i have more winter clothes than summer clothes???   i gotta save $$$ 4 christmas presents!   *sigh* sure, i wouldn't mind winning the lottery right 'bout now.

oh yah!!! yesterday, on our dss, we lost all our pay per view channels!   what's up?!?!?!   *sigh* [a li'l later] i just called ken 'bout it.   he told us to remove the dss card n' not use it.   the company's like crackin' down.   geez! that sucks!   crap!

[a li'l later] i need a haircut.   i feel so shaggy!   most male models n' hip tv/movie stars these days have shaggily long hair, it cms.   they make it look kewl in print n' on screen; but in real life, 'least 4 me, shaggy hair just looks shaggy! *sigh* i hope we hang out w/ seunghwan after practice 2nite.   after teaching, i don't plan on practicing all that much more.   [a li'l later] i started a greedy, shamelessly selfijh list of material things i wouldn't mind having.   (of course, i made the list on my handspring!) i think this is ok.   it's not overly materialistic, right?   i'm not planning to buy all these things; i'm just pondering the finer things in life n' imagining what i'm werkin' 2wards... sort'a... [li'l later] i haven't heard from phil in a very long time i wonder how he is.

[later, early evening] last nite i was thinking 'bout how college kids' lives now r diff from how my college life was.   obviously hangin' out online on bronx's junkyard made me think of this.   most students in "our" day didn't have cell fons.   it was pretty rare back in those days.   well, of course some kids had them, but it was nuthin' like it is 2day!   'member, 4 my b.day jr yr (the b.day b4 jr yr, 1995, my 20th b.day), my friends got ne a pager.   wow, that stuff was hi.tech n' en vogue back in those days!   ppl still use pagers these days, yah; but it's prob'ly mostly 4 bizness.   i guess pager voicemail might be still useful.   well, back in my day, i'd receive a page on my pager, n' then i'd need to find a fon to call back on.   toby n' i had a way to call friends using campus fons!   that was so kewl back then; but nowadays since most college students carry cell fons, it's pretty unnecessary.   sometimes, i'd be studying or hanging out @ a friend's apt.   then i'd need to ask, "can i borrow ur fon?" or sumpthin' like that.   these days, if i'm over @ a friend's house, i just use my cell fon.   when i'm @ home, i just use my cell fon.   i use the land line, the home fon line, 4 dial up internet connection.   some ppl'd say i'm primitive 4 still using 56k dial up instead of dsl or 'least cable modem.   eh! whatever!   dsl's 2 expen$ive!   well, back to the topic of pagers, don't 4get that i have my webpage 'bout pager code!   ah, that was such a big thing!!! *sigh* man, those were the days! *sigh*

[later] now i'm in my way home.   this afternoon @ werk, my boss asked me to help him figure out a korean name.   u know, this ueekend, laeca's dad was talking to us 'bout korean/chinese names n' hanja.   i took out my hangeul / hanja chart, the 1 i bought in korea in 1999.   i showed him my name: myuhngrok / minglu.   right away, he translated it as "bright green" instead of "bright rust."   of course, i already know from liane that the rok/lu character in my name refers to some wiseman charcter in chinese legends.

so after werk, i drove home to berkeley, picked the kaela kang up from in front of yali's cafe.   then we went to andronico's to grocery shop n' to buy a halloween pumpkin.   ah, i 4get how kewl andronico's is.   it reminded me of all those times i shopped @ pw super(market) when i was a kid.   pw super is the supermarket close to my middle skool n' sort'f close to my hi skool.   it's like andronico's, pretty fancy, but i guess i sort'f took it 4granted in those days.   i mean, i love safeway, n' it's great! but andronico's has all sorts'f kewl products! it's got good produce... n' just so many diff things!   like, just looking in the frozen fud section, u c all sorts'a kewl stuff.   hrm... so i went to trader joe's n' andronico's yesterday!   neway, we hurried home n' got ready 4 practice.   we went to practice.   the competition team leaves 4 university of texas austin early, early thurs morn 4 the national collegiate taekwondo championships.   wow... 2nite was there last ucmap practice b4 the competition.   they're all on weight, i think.   some of them look so skinny!   i can c it!   well, after practice (which ran pretty late cos we watched the team do their poomsae), some of us went to get boba (after showering etc, n' after the team members got their warm ups).   laura, jerome, clarence, raymond, johnny, kaela, n' me.   raymond didn't really have a boba cos he's barely on weight.   well, we got home so late.   originally, i was gonna cook chicken curry 2nite.   that's why we went to andronico's!   but since we got home so late, we just ate rice n' banchan.   it's 1245a right now, n' we're watching blind date.   i feel so tired n' sleepy.   my left eye hurts.   it's been hurting 2day, i dunno why.   kaela thinks she lost her handspring, but we dunno 4 sure yet.   maybe it was stolen; we don't know.   she last saw it on sun on her way to sf 4 that outbreak investigation group thing.

[later, b4 lunch] on sun, i changed my handspring's screen cover.   right now, i still have some bubbles, just a few.   they disappear after a while.   i hope we find kaela's handspring!   man, should i buy a new monitor?   my eyes hurt; they feel strained!   i think it's from using the 'puter 2 much @ werk! *sigh* what can i do?!   what should i have 4 lunch?!   i can't believe my car looks so dirty 'gain when i got it washed last week!   i hear it might rain on sun.   *sigh* so... how r u?   yah, let me know how u r!   also i slightly changed my g.book, so feel free to sign it again!

i've been sort'f bizzy all day.   4 lunch, i drove out to noah's bagels in greenbrae n' bought 0.5 dozen bagels after depositting some checks @ the atm.   right now, noah's sells pumpkin bagels.   last night i passed out / fell asleep right after eating.   that's awful! *sigh* these days @ taekwondo demo team practice, i need to yell 'lot, give commands.   kaela sez i'm yelling w/ my throat n' not my diaphragm.   i try to use my diaphragm, but she still sez i'm using my throat.   i guess i am cos my throat gets all hoarse.   there're these mcyukyuk commercials in the bay area, usually 4 the mini.meal deals.   in them, a women speaks w/ a really raspy voice.   kaela always makes fun of her cos she sez it sounds like she needs to cough, to expectorate.   neway, she thinks i end up sounding like that raspy.voiced woman after yelling.   i know i'm doing something wrong, but i guets i don't know exactly how to fix it.   please keep in mind that, as a kid, i did play clarinet bassoon, so i do know 'bout exhaling usinq the diaphragm!   i was also in church choir now n' then n' a church fellowship worship team leader!!!   so why it it that i can't project my voice well?!?!   toby 1nce made fun of me 'boua this: 1nce we saw phil walkin' near the corner of university n' shattuck by burger king.   we were in my car, probably the volvo in its final days.   i yelled out the window, "phil!!!!"   toby mocked me cos i was yelling w/ such strain yet not producing much volume. *sigh*   this problem annoys me.   hrm...   in a way, i wish i could take vocal/voice/singing lessons.   however, eh! i don't have the time, n' what if i had to sing a whole bunch'a stuff that i don't wanna sing?!   also, why should i waste $$$ on sumpthin' like that? $$$ n' time!   maybe i should just spend more time @ noraebang!!!   ha ha ha.

[later in the afternoon] i can't believe daylite savings time ends this weekend!   october's gonna yield to november!   wow, fall always makes me think like this!   back in hs, fall meant homecoming season.   that was @ least a li'l important.   not important @ all now of course!   nowadays, what does thit time of fall/autumn make me think 'bout?   i wonder how this winter'll be.   how the holidays'll be.   kaela n' i'll spend thanksgiving w/ my mom n' christmas w/ her family.   i wonder what i'll get ppl 4 presents.   i wonder if i'll still have a job next yr!   i wonder if i'll have the same job.   i've werked @ this company 4 over 3 yrs now!!!!!   crazy, huh?

[on my way home] i can't believe 2morrow's thurs!   [later, after practice] well, i'm waiting 4 kaela, after showering.   i'm sitting in the foyer in btwn the men's n' women's locker roms in the rsf.   2nite, i was running s late on m way to werkout.   i had to stay @ the office pretty late.   2nite was the1st evening of the season where i had to drive home in the dark.   crazy, huh?   well, i got home n' decided to cook dinner b4 practice.   argh, i was so behind skedule! so many things to do!   kaela was stuck @ werk late 2 but planned on going to taekwondo demo team practice w/ me.   i had to pack her stuff n' bring it w/ me.   sam (lee)'s gonna borrow my big adidas bag n' take it to ncta.   ppl like to borrow my bag 4 these faraway tournaments.   well, i hope it brings him good luck.   he's also gonna wear my old embroidered belt, the 1 mijung (kim) from yongindae gave me.   [later] now we're home.   we ate the chicken curry.   i'm so full. *sigh* i hope i don't fall asleep on a full stomache.   then, 'gain, i wanna get a decent amount of sleep.   hey! 2morrow nite, i'm teaching the white belt class w/ kaela!   we're subbing 4 johnny!   kewl, huh?   i gotta remember to bring my boombox.

last nite, after practice, the beautiful kaela kang n' i came home n' had berry cherry banana smoothies.   practice went so late that we missed the simpsons.   actually, we saw the closing credits, i guess.   2day, i woke up refreshed.   i ate a bowl of raisin nut bran.   i dropped kaela off @ yali's cafe.   i sped off to werk.   @ lunch, i drove off to san rafael n' 1nce 'gain bought groceries from trader joe's.   i ate a veggie wrap from there 4 lunch.   i went to kragen n' exchanged windshield wiper blade refills.   my car needs an oil change.   soon it'll need its 60,000 mi service!   *sigh*

which company makes those pants w/ the deep pockets so u have room 4 ur pda/palmtop, ur (cell)fon, wallet, keys, etc.?   dockers? i 4get what they call those pants, but they should call them "digital pants" or maybe "digipants."   i think pants w/ deep pockets would be nice.   i like carrying my cellfon n' handspring w/ me, but i don't wanna be a slave to teknology, of course.   yesterday, i slept a lot!   what a relaxing sun(day)!   now it's mon.   am i ready 4 'nother week?   ooh boy!   i guess so.

[later, afternoon] i had lunch @ la salsa in "the village" mall.   i had a chicken grande burrito.   this la salsa has mango salsa n' habanero salsa.   that's good.   hrm... yesterday, i had such a big appetite.   it cmed like i kept eating all afternoon.   neway, 2day, after i ate, i strolled 'round the mall a li'l.   i went into br n' gap.   they had some very good sales, but i didn't buy nething.   maybe i'll shop 'round some more this week during my lunchbreaks, but we'll c.   still i'r not really in the mood to waste $$$ on clothes right now.   i gotta take care of my car n' computer n' bills... utilities, rent...   clothes?   heh heh... i'll just keep wearing what i've got, n' we'll if i start to look to out of style that i'll be in style!   retro/vintage.

i didn't mention yet.   last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i watched the movie memento on dss.   a while 'go i heard 'bout 2 diff movies w/ similar titles: the american movie memento n' the korean movie memento mori.   last nite we watched memento, but also i actually have the vcd of memento mori.   we haven't watched that yet.   memento's 'bout a guy w/ no short term memory.   earlier, yesterday afternoon, i watched event horizon while kaela was out.   i knew she wouldn't want to c it cos it's a horror movie.

please start from yesterday's entry!!! sorry 4 the detour!   that's what happens when i write a journal entry late @ nite.   well, the wedding ceremony was in an episcopal church in oakland, near samwon kalbijip.   it was pretty religious, the most traditionally christrian wedding i've been to in a long time.   it really got me thinking 'bout religion.   not that i decided i wanna go back to going to church every sun, but it just got me thinking 'bout stuff.   when i used to go to church, of course i spent time praying.   in a way, i do miss that.   i'm mostly talkin' 'bout individual, silent prayer, i think; but maybe not.   neway, 1 thought that crossed my mind is how i'd definitely want my kids to have the option of going to church.   i definitely won't force them, n' i definitely hope they won't get sucked into ne cults!   however, i want them to have the option of going to a healthy christian church.   what if my future kids want to pursue some other religion?   *sigh* hrm... well, i guess, to some extent, i'd let them; but i don't think i feel so obligated to show them 1sthand other religions so in depth, nor do i feel i'd be all that competent @ such a task.   well, after the ceremony, we went to east moraga 4 the reception / dinner.   there were hors d'ouvres, n' then we had a mixed korean/european dinner, buffet style.   the party had mostly disco musik, n' we left right b4 the cake cutting.   i congratulated the bride n' groom; but it's funny that i was never officially introduced to the groom.   after we left, we did sumpthin' very out.of.the.ordinary!

we planned to meet up w/ a bunch of kang relatives in the fisherman's wharf sf hilton n' eat "mussels???"   it turned out to be mirugai.   neway, kaela drove her dad n' jay back to our place, while i took their mom n' jeanna to pusan market to buy condiments 4 the mirugai.   we worried it'd be closed but discovered that pusan market's open till midnite!!!   we bought chogochujang n' wasabi 4 the mirugai n' gochujang 4 home.   pusan market was crowded!   it's the korean "party safeway"!!!   neway, we went back to the apt.   i changed clothes.   we all did, 'cept 4 jeanna, who didn't have a change of clothes.   then the 6 of us crammed into my car n' went to sf!   crazy!   well, we did what we planned to do.   we ate mirugai w/ a bunch of kang relatives.   they talked a long time 'bout the troubles w/ american/english names.

[later, sun afternoon] ok, so now we've dropped kaela's parents n' jay off @ oak, n' they should be well on their way back to socal.   it's cold in our living room right now.   this morn, we went out to dimsum @ the place in the 99 ranch mall.   we went really early.   it's such a cold, cloudy day 2day in berkeley.   i'm glad ishak n' amy's wedding was yesterday, when it was blue skyed, altho' still not 2 warm.   i just want to hibernate.   kaela hast'a go out to sf this afternoon 4 her outbreak investigation group thingy.   honestly, i never fully understand what these publik health activities r all 'bout.   i don't think it's officially "4 skool," but it's not just "volunteer werk" either.   i guess that's just how publik health grad skool is... dunno.   she gave me a bit of shopping list 4 2day.   (my sister) grace n' steve r supposed to be up here 4 a wedding 2day, n' maybe we'll c them.   this weekend, i did 'lot of driving w/ 6 ppl in the car.   funny.

2day was me n' the beautiful kaela kang's 21st monthversary.   it's been a very bizzy day.   after werk last nite, i rushed home to clean the apt.   as she sed she would, jeanna actually came over n' helped us clean!   after we did 'bout all we could do.   i took the 2 kang daughters to dinner @ khana peena indian restaurant on solano.   we had some good indian fud, n' i tried taj mahal indian beer.   4 an appetizer, we had lamb tikki.   jeanna ordered the chicken tikki masala.   kaela ordered this okra dish.   i ordered karahi lamb n' a cashew n' golden raisin naan.   it was all pretty good.   after dinner, kaela n' jeanna went to pick up their parents n' jay, n' i went home to finish some housechores.   well, we're lodging the kang family ok in our living room.   her parents r on the sofabed, n' jay sleeps on cushions on the floor.   we had some spare blankets.

well, 2day we went to a wedding.   the groom was ishak kang, kaela's young uncle.   i guess u could say 2nd uncle.   the bride was amy bingham.   ... continued on next journal entry!!!

it's a li'l after midnite, n' the beautiful kaela kang n' i r watching blind date on upn44.   these days, we've been watching the simpsons on the los angeles fox 11 instead of sf upn44.   i'm mad @ upn44 4 gettin' rid of the 1130p simpsons.   2nite's blind date has 2 black couples.   last nite, when i saw 2nite's preview, i commented that the old show love connection had all black participants every thurs.   man! i doubt i'll ever c an asian/asian couple on blind date or ne equivalent show. *sigh* man, i always say i hate that 'bout american media: u can have caucasian/caucasian couples, african/african couples, or else some mixed couples, but u absolutely can't show asian/asian couples!

neway, what have i been up to?   after werk yesterday, i went to the berkeley office depot to return those extra stylii.   right now i've writing w/ then generic pen stylus, the 1 that's not as good as the bic e.3.   still, it's ok n' easier to write w/ thtn normal stylii cos it allows a much more natural grip.   neway, after getting my $15 back, i went to northside safeway to buy some groceries.   i saw garth there on my way out.  i care home, n' kaela was doing laundry, lots of it.  i made guacamole, n' kaela made quesadillas.  i went to taekwondo practice, n' kaela went to her hip hop dance class in emeryville.  the competition teament to the other room to practice poomsae, so i had to lead class 4 a li'l bit.  we had a li'l bit of demo practice.   then we had a special send off 4 jason, who's leaving to chejudo, korea 4 the world taekwondo championships.  man, that's so kewl! crazy, huh?  i dropped of johnny, raymond, n' roland.  then i came home, n' we ate more mexican fud n' drank smoothies, n' watched tv.  now i've gone full circle!

[later, morn] good morning.   'gain, how r u?   *sigh* i was a li'l late to werk this morn.   after dropping off kaela, i sped off, raced off to werk.   i hope never get a speeding ticket on my way to werk.   i drive fast cos i worry my manager'll get mad @ me 4 being late.   *sigh* i wish i had a job closer to home.

[later, after lunch] i went to dave's tacqueria 4 lunch n' had a good chicken burrito.   then i strolled 'round the mall a li'l.   the chicken burrito was very good.   it had some kind of steued or roasted chicken in it... i guess stewed, but it also reminded me of rotisserie chicken.   the tacqueria is owned by this guy who also owns a deli he callt dave's wildside.   they used to be in 2 nearby locations, but now he combined both shops into1.   i didn't go to the deli much, but i 'member 1tym i brought kaela there n' we ordered a thai dish, n' the owner bragged how his wife's vietnamese, so he maket good asian fud.   i guess, as an old, caucasian man, he felt he needed to buy himself some credibility.   the thai fud wasn't bad.   the owner wore this tool apron that time.   i guessed he was bizzy doing some construction / rennovation werk.   however, i saw him w/ the tool apron 'gain 2day n' realised he keeps cooking tools in the pockets!   interesting!   neway, as i started to say, after eating, i strolled 'round the mall.   i looked @ some shoes in the shoe pavillion n' @ some accessories, housewares, n' clothes @ marsralls... or it ross? i 4get! i didn't buy nething.

kaela sez i have some typos in my recent entries, so i gotta go bacz n' edit, but i can't do that from my office thanks to the netwerk nazi.   *sigh* i wanna thank "llarei" n' "cnangel2003" 4 signing my g.book!   thank u very much.   llamrei mentions that blind date does sometimes have asian/asian couples!   oh! i totally stand corrected! thanks 4 sharing!

i found sumpthin interesting on the net, some name analysis thingies.   of course, it't mottly hocus pocus superstition, but it's very interesting!

Beno

Your name of Beno gives you a highly sensitive, idealistic, and intuitive nature. You could be very expressive and creative in the arts, music, or drama. However, there is a lack of practicality and business judgment which could limit your success. You feel and sense much that you do not fully understand, and you can be deeply influenced through the thoughts and feelings of others without realizing just how you are being affected. Others are inclined to take advantage of your generosity and friendliness and then, when there is a lack of reciprocation, you can feel very despondent and disillusioned. Moods are a problem as you can be highly inspired one minute, and the next become quite irritated and annoyed over some ill-timed remark or lack of consideration on the part of someone close to you. You could suffer through nervous breakdowns, as well as disturbed thoughts, poor memory, or disorders in the fluid functions.

Bernard

Your name Bernard gives you a strong sense of responsibility in business and material affairs, and the practicality and determination to make a success of anything you undertake. Your ability to organize and direct the efforts of others enables you to excel in any managerial position because you have the ability to grasp the concept of a goal complete with an understanding of the steps to be taken. This name has allowed you to develop depth and breadth of mind. You are able to retain facts, to grasp new information to your existing store of knowledge. You never seem to be out of your depth of understanding. For these reasons others who may not have the same quickness of mind classify you as a "know it all" and, although you may be highly respected, this characteristic is unlikely to endear you to your associates. You have a very responsible nature, are capable and mature, and are willing to assume a position as a pillar of the community. You are quite healthy, but possible trouble areas are found in the generative organs.

Kaela
Your first name of Kaela has made you happiest when you are expressing in some creative, artistic way, and not conforming to strict routine. In a large group of comparative strangers, you are quiet and rather shy, unable to express yourself, not really wanting to become involved in conversation. On the other hand, among friends with whom you feel at ease, you are expressive, witty, and quite charming. These contrasting natures make it difficult for people to understand you and can lead to friction in your personal life. You are deep, philosophical, and refined, but your extremely sensitive nature causes you to become depressed and self-pitying over any real or imagined slight. If you are not careful, people take advantage of your generous nature. You find the beauties of nature, fine music, art, and literature--all the deeper things of life--inspiring. The reserved, sensitive side of your nature brings aloneness and friction into your life, although you crave affection and understanding. You must guard against emotional excesses, which could result in depletion of energy, creating a desire for quick-energy foods. You could suffer through skin irritations, blood conditions, back trouble, and later, through arthritis. Heart, lung, or bronchial weaknesses could also result.

isn't it so weird, the differences btwn "beno" n' "bernard"???   interesting, huh?

[later, late afternoon / early eveninq] i'm stuck in my office, n' i want to / need to go home!   oh yah! i didn't mention.   my monitor crapped out last nite, the 1 roland gave to me.   all the sudden it powered off n' now refuses to power up! *sigh* what to to?   how much is a flat panel nowadays?   on pricescan, i c some no name brand 1 4 $319.   it't 15".   17" is like 2x that price!

how r u? it's morn right now.   i wish i could say, "how r u this morn?", but by the time u read this, it'll be nite or 'least eve, else 2morrow.   i am writing w/ my new bic e.3 stylus.   it's not like it makes all my "typos" go 'way, altho' i wish it did; but itdoes feel more like writing w/ a real pen, mostly due to its size.   it's a decently thick pen.

[later, lunchbreak] i'm back @ the carwash in san rafael.   'member, the beautiful kaela kang's parents n' bro r coming up from socal this weekend 4 a wedding, her cousin's wedding in oakland.   it's thurs 2day, eh?   well, i'm still survivin', i guess.   whadya know?   i might actually make it thru this week!!! :-) bigger smile. :-D hrm... maybe that's no bigger, just open.mouthed.   my car needs an oil change.   i'm sittin' in the shade, n' i'm a bit cold w/o my jacket.   it's so sunny, so i left my office w/o my jacket.   i think i'll have burger king 4 lunch.   i've been snackin' so much in my office on these peanut butter filled pretzel bits.   man, we got lotsa cleaning to do b4 the weekend!!! sorry, my thoughts r pretty scattered in this paragraph.   "incohesive"?   i think it's partly cos i'm shivering.   k, now i've moved to a bench in the sun.   it's warmer, but i'm not wearing sunscreen n' don't like sitting next to this smoking man.   'least i'm upwind.   i'm glad i don't smoke.   2nite, i'll go to taekwondo practice.   who goes to practice most consistently? definitely jason, then garth, then efren... i'm there very regularly! i missed a tues n' a thurs earlier in the semester, n' i missed 1 or 2 sat sparring practices, n'll probably miss saturday's practice.

[later] that simple trip to the carwash got complicated! they locked my keys in my car!   well, they do that often 'nuff, so they weren't very surprised, got some tools out, n' eventually broke in, altho' my alarm kept going off.   afterwards, i ate a bk broiler meal @ burger king, where they have halloween simpsons toys in their big kids' meals!   then i filled up on gas @ beacon.   i realised they didn't do such a good job on my carwash! *sigh* this place is cheap thanks to a coupon on the back of safewy receipts from the corte madera safeway, but when u use the coupon, they don't do as good of a job on the wash!   maybe next time i'll go to touchless in berkeley.   i drank lotsa diet coke from bk.   i'm still alive. oh! but i gotta take my vitamin!

happy b.day!   i hope u do something nice 4 ur b.day!   my dad n' my relatives went to a cajun restaurant called "benno's" in texas.   my dad took a pic w/ the "benno's" sign.   eventually, when i get a scanner werkin' here, i'll show u the pic.

well, i'm still survivin'.   that's what i do!   my left quad is really hurtin' right now cos we had this mini tournament in taekwondo practice 2day.   i sparred ken (yamaguchi).   i felt so.so.   i know i've had much better days/nites, but @ the same time, i know i've done worse.   i felt nervous, n' that's bad.   i shouldn't.   that's part of why we spar.   sparring/fighting, we gotta not be nervous, u know?   oh well, 2morrow's 'nother day.   i'm sore.   i need to rest n' heal.   it's late @ nite / early in the morn right now.   it's almost 300a.   i ought to be asleep.   after practice, after dealing w/ some demo team logistics biz, after showering, after dropping off raymond n' roland, i came home w/ the beautiful kaela kang.   she did better than i did 2nite in the mini tournament.   i cooked her some jjajangmyuhn, as i planned to, but i don't think it was very good.   i used that fud processor, the cheap 1 we bought @ long's drugs a long time 'go.   man, the results weren't 2 thrilling to me.   i didn't like what i made 2 much, but 'least kaela cmed to like it.   we watched tv.   then we watched joe dirt.   it was a much better movie than i expected; but i was really expecting sumpthin' totally dumb.   well, i liked it ok. ow! i just accidentally hit my leg! ow!   man... 2morrow's 'nother day.   do i sound cynical in saying that?   i hope not cos i'm relatively happy right now.   i ought to sleep more, n' i wish i had this fri off, but otherwise i feel good.

oh yah! lemme give some shout outs! uh... is it still ok to say "shout outs," or is that really passé by now? heh heh... neway, i wanna thank johnny chang 4 signing my g.book.   i know him cos he used to do hapkido @ ucmap, n' well... i've always done taekwondo.   also, i wanna thank jonathan chu, a freelance violinist from tennessee who took a li'l time to write me a friendly e.mail.   thanks, guys.   i like getting feedback.

[much later; afternoon] i went to trader joe's n' bought some mexican chicken/rice/beans/salsa lunchbox.   [much later; evening] that lunchbox wasn't very good, honestly.   maybe it was mostly cos it was refrigerated, n' i didn't like the cold rice much.   dunno.   i also bought some other groceries.   now it's evening.   i'm trying out my pen stylii.   i have 1 bic 1 n' 1 similarly priced generic 1.   the bic e.3 3.in.1 stylus/pen/pencil is much better.   i wish i had just gotten 2 of those.   i've been taking advil 4 my injured quad.   crazy, huh?   i'm usual so reluctant to take analgesics / pain killers.   after trader joe's 2day, i walked 'cross that san rafael strip malt to rite.aid n' bought some advil.   i don't wanna make this a habit.

so far i'm surviving this week.   hey, when u get a chance ch check out jeong kang's (from bjunkyard forums) page: medea sin.   even tho' he hasn't posted on bjunkyard in a li'l while, he's 1 of the few hyungs i have on forums since i'm older than most of the members.   he's a half.korean doctor, n' his english name is scott.   he's also a good artist n' keeps an on.line journal. kewl!   u know, johnny's slowly making a webpage: johnny's head on the web.   also, raymond's revamping his site: working designs.   well, those links should keep u occupied 4 a li'l while.

i can't wait till snowboarding season resumes!   i just hope i'll have time to go often!   time n' $$$.   how have i been spending $$$ lately?   i haven't gone clothes shopping in a long, long time.   i used to go clothes shopping much more often.   what have i been spending $$$ on then?!?!   going out, dining out, vacations, household items, rent, utilities, electronics, car maintenance, groceries, home furnishings (furniture)... moving co$t quite a bit, but i should be recovering from those 1tym expenses soon.   rent's more now. electricity's more now. 'course moving was a definite necessity! if i still lived w/ josh? ugh! perish the thought!!! i don't even wanna imagine it, n' i can hardly believe i lived w/ him as long as i did.   yuck!

well, i'm still alive; so far i'm surviving this week.   [later] i ate lunch @ roadrunner burrito, had a bbq chicken burrito on whole wheat tortilla w/ black beans.   i usually get those 2 options on my burritos.   i didn't buy a drink to save $$$.   i went to bofa n' deposited some $$$.   the teller gave me a brochure n' tried to convince me to move my checking acct to bofa from calfed. eh! prob'ly not, but i started thinking 'bout how the beautiful kaela kang needs a $aving$ acct.   then i went to long's drugs.   i looked 'round but didn't buy nething.   that was my lunchbreak.   2day i finally earned a 2nd $50 macy's gift certificate from mypoints.   maybe that means i'll go clothes shopping 'gain sometime.

how r u 2day?   so far, i'm still alive.   u gotta check out this new handspring palmtop 'puter / cellfon called the treo.   it looks pretty kewl.   also, check out this website: ttukboki.hihome.com.   u'll need korean fonts n' knowledge of the korean language.   it has some interesting dduhkbokki recipes.   it's kewl.   i ate leftovers of thurs nite's beanie weanie 4 lunch.   it was delicious!   the beautiful kaela kang cooked it.   yum!

[later] after i ate, i drove to safeway to do some grocery shopping.   i hope 2nite we can eat some leftover maeoondalkgui, n' i can make some shigeumchi namool.   we'll c.   i also wanna cook jjajangmyuhn n' make guacamole this week.   i hope this won't be a stressful week.   i hope werk'll be ok; i hope taekwondo'll be ok.

can u believe it's oct 14 already?!?! *sigh* that's 2 months after the beautiful kaela kang's b.day.   crazy, huh? wow...   so yesterday, we went n' played golf! can u believe that?! i sort'a surprised myself.   in many ways golf is so unlike me.   @ the same time, it was fun to just try, u know?   it was really fun!   i won't make it a habit, but it was fun.   we played @ the ucmap wutc fundraising golf tournament. (in case u haven't figured it out by now, "wutc" = "world university taekwondo championships."  u'd better 'least know what "ucmap" is.)   some of us young ppl got to go play 4 free! that'd be sam, roland, clarence, kaela, n' me.   if it hadn't been free 4 us, it would've been $65, but some ppl made extra donations in hopes that some students would go play 'long side these older, mostly korean men... n' some women.   they just wanted to have some representation from the actual taekwondo club/team.   like, dr. min introduced us to the korean consulate, so i'm sure in that case, it was important to have some actual delegates from the taekwondo club, 'specially young "students."   we drove all the way out to bethel island.   where's that?   it's by stockton.. by oakley or brentwood.   i've had to go out to that area b4, back when i werked 4 ebmud.   it's uh... pretty much a "hick" town.   however, somehow a korean couple owns a golf course out there, n' the golf course is prob'ly the most exciting thing in that li'l town!   i drove really fast to get there cos we were running late.   roland was in my car w/ kaela n' me.   when we got to brentwood, we went to the carl's jr. drive thru.   i got a famous star cheeseburger meal.   i rarely get cheeseburgers, as opposed to hamburgers (since cheese is extra fat), but the famous star combo comes w/ cheese, so eh! why not?   neway, we tried to get the golf course quickly, but i missed a turn n' ended up @ a cow farm on jersey island, instead of bethel island.   man! a island full of cows!   neway, after going thru a long, narrow, road w/ lots'a speed bumps btwn the river delta n' a bunch'a riverfront homes, we finally got to the golf course.   well, master yoon wasn't 2 upset 'bout us being late.   we got there @ 1230p instead of 1100a.   upes!   neway, we played golf!   kaela n' i shared roland's clubs, n' we made a 4 person team w/ sam.   sam's pretty good! 'least he's played more than the other 3 of us. roland's done some driving @ a range b4, so he was 'least more experienced than kaela n' me.   right away, while practicing @ the driving range, i got a blister on my thumb, n' it immediately ripped open.   yuck! or else the golf club handle just plain ripped skin off my thumb... ugh, still yuck, eh? heh heh.   neway, i bandaged that up @ the pro shop.   so, uh... i guess that makes golf a sport w/ lots'a injuries then, eh?   dunno, maybe it was just bad luck.   the game was fun!   we couldn't get a golf cart, so we had to walk the course.   i was a li'l disappointed cos i looked 4ward to driving a cart 'round!   we had to play in a hurry cos there were so many tournament contestants! all these korean dads!   i dunno how dr. min found all these guys! we're guessing it was the ads in the korean newspapers.   raymond, sophia, n' sung were there to help but didn't play.   i gotta thank them 4 their hard werk.   that was very generous of them.   i was happy when i could get air on the ball instead of rolling it.   we skipped most of the putting.   later, our 4 person group met up w/ dave currie, perry seto, jonathan (perry's son), n' didiet (perry's friend), n' we played w/ them 4 the rest of the afternoon.   we went thru 16 holes; we skipped the last 2 cos it was getting 2 dark, n' ppl were 2 tired.   there were mosquitos out 2! yuck.   i got bit a coupl'a times. dang!   i almost made it thru the whole day w/ 1 ball, but i lost mine like on hole 14 or sumpthin'. nuts!   neway, we picked up some extra balls on a hole that was near the driving range.   we have lots'a range n' game balls.   after the game, we had to help tally up the scores.   then master yoon gave me the weirdest task.   i wasn't sure if he was joking or what!   he told me to go out to the golf course to hole 3 n' 14 n' look 4 a measuring tape... it was so dark by now!   he told me to take a golf cart n' pointed to the refreshments concessions' cart!   huh?!   so i drove the refreshment cart in the dark to hole 14, which was 1 of the prize holes.   the guy who hit a hole in 1 on that hole won a 2001 solara.   oh yah... chris barron was monitoring this hole to make sure no1 cheated, etc.   i 'member he sed he didn't have a measuring tape.   neway, i drove the cart back to the clubhouse parking lot on my way to hole 3.   i stopped by my car to get my giant maglite.   then i drove out to hole 3.   it was so dark now!   i was trying to dodge sprinklers, but i still got really soaked.   i tried not to mess up the green n' did manage to avoid the sand traps.   i didn't find the measuring tape @ hole 3 either.   so i went back.   on my way back a golf course employee met me n' told me i had to come in.   i told him, what was up n' that i was trying to go back in.   i was a li'l lost a li'l earlier, but i was heading straight 4 the clubhouse by then.   neway, he was pretty friendly 'bout it, n' we had a li'l laff 'bout how wet the cart was.   then i went in.   it cmed like master yoon totally 4got 'bout the measuring tape by then.   i don't get why he told me to go get it in the 1st place.   i'm sure it'd turn up in the morning, or else we could buy a new 1 4 not 2 much.   @ the same time, i was so happy to do the task cos i Was dying to drive the golf cart all day.   maybe master yoon either wanted to give me the chance to drive the golf cart, or else he sent me on a wild goose chase to occupy my time or sumpthin'... dunno.   while i was gone, roland drove a golf cart out to collect some signs from the prize holes.   he actually managed to run into a sand trap n' got a golf cart stuck out on the course!   he had to just abandon it.   phew, good thing i had the maglite!   i didn't know till i drove the cart that the carts could go in reverse.   they're kewl.   after the scores were mostly tabulated, we got to eat a li'l of the banquet dinner...   it was fud provided by the golf course cafeteria.... nuthin' really special, but we were starving!   there wasn't much fud left @ all, tho'.   the tournament players had gone thru most of it.   it's ok.   we got to play the game 4 free, after all!   n' eh! who were we to complain? master yoon sed he didn't get much fud either.   well, we hung 'round a while cos raymond was in charge of printing out fotos 4 the players.   it was an extra fundraiser; the fotos cost $10 each.   well, we finally headed home.   what a full day!

when we got home, kaela n' i watched castaway. we c lots'a movies these days.   i don't mention them all.   castaway was kewl tho'.   what a beautiful island!   oh yah, i think i lost my handspring stylus out on the golf course.   i'll haft to go out to office depot or officemax 2day to buy a 2pack of replacement stylii.   nuts.   oh wow! i didn't log an entry yesterday!

[much later, 853p] wow, what a warm, relaxing day.   weekends have been so good to me lately.   they've been so fun n' so relaxing, so therapeutic.   weekdays have been pretty brutal.   in a way, this is a bad setup cos i'm dreading mon.   however, it's good cos... well, the weekends!   it was nice n' warm 2day.   i went out to office depot n' bought that 2 pack of stylii.   when i got back to the car, i saw my stylus lying on the rear, driver side floor mat!   boy, oh boy...   i haven't returned the 2 pack yet, but i guess i will.   if i ever need extra stylii, i'll just go out n' buy them, right?   then i came home n' werked on my car. what did i do? i tried to change the windshield wiper blades, but the stoopid computer @ kragen sold me the wrong size 4 the passenger side n' the rear!   stoopid 'puter!   i vacuumed my car.   then i walked to the nearby kragen.   they were out of stock of the wiper blade refills i needed! geez! what's up? why does kragen suck so bad?   then i came back, i fell asleep 4 a while.   hrm... we saw a movie this afternoon, what was it?   oh yah, get over it. that was b4 i went to office depot, etc.   *sigh* man, i wish i didn't hafta werk 2morrow.   i should do some laundry 2nite.

here's a trivia question 4 u folk: when was the last time i skipped a day in my journal entries?   *sigh* me, i'm 2 lazy right now to figure it out, but i think it's been a while. i dunno.   maybe i skipped on a weekend.   i'm much more likely to skip on a weekend, no doubt.   *breath* well, it's almost 1130p on fri nite.   we had a full nite already, altho' it's not 2 late.   well, it's been an interesting day.   i woke up, drove the beautiful kaela kang to werk; i think she had a mtg.   i dropped her off @ haviland hall.   i drove up hearst ave. n' down east gate to haviland.   i drove past so much student foot traffic.   last nite, after practice, a bunch'f us went to get boba drinks @ sweetheart: clarence, seunghwan, roland, laura, jerome, ken yamaguchi, raymond, johnny, n' me.   there were lots'a students there 2.   i felt so foreign.   i heard these kids talkin' 'bout absk church group n' stuff like that.   man, it cms like a long time since i was 'round that kind'a stuff.   n' yah, so i drove past all these students, n' yah... it felt kind'a weird, i guess.   *sigh* so... i talk 'lot 'bout feeling old or mature these days, huh?   sorry to bore u or weird u out w/ that stuff. *sigh* neway, 2day, i dropped kaela off; then i went home n' actually got to werk on some of my djing stuff! kewl! i werked on some remixes on my 'puter.   it was pretty kewl.   then i took kaela to lunch @ bistro liaison on shattuck @ hearst.   we had some good french sandwiches or croques, as the called them.   then we went home.   kaela went to some mtg in union city, n' i continued to werk on some mixes.   time flew.   then it was time 4 our big nite out!

so we got dressed up.   then we picked up roland.   then we rushed, rushed, rushed to asia sf!   u know what asia sf is, right?   well, maybe if u'r not from 'round here u don't know.   sorry 4 assuming.   well, it's this asian fusion restaurant n' club where all the waitresses r gender illusionist: they r all men dressed as women!   i've known 'bout it 4 a while, n' i've come to understand it as a truly sf place that every1 'round here's gotta experience 'least 1nce.   well, we had dinner ther w/ laura n' jerome.   we had a big dinner.   it was great.   i was stuffed.   it was very interseting to c the guys in drag.   yah, some were very convincing, i gotta admit.   it was our li'l mini bjunkyard.com crew! heh heh heh... but i guess that ought to include johnny, now that he joined.   neway, we had dinner; n' the waitresses lypsynced n' danced on the bar.   afterwards, we rushed to our musikal... roland went home, but laura, jerome, kaela, n' i went to watch stomp!   stomp! is a musikal show, a bit of a concert, a bit of a dance recital...   it was kewl!!!   do u know 'bout stomp!?   there's no traditional instruments, per se.   they use all sorts'a junk to make percussive musik.   it's pretty neat... a bit loud, but so kewl!   kaela bought the tix 4 us 2, n' we were in the 3rd row in the center!!!!   it was @ the marines memorial theatre.

well, i should go 2 sleep soon.   2morrow, we're gonna play @ the uc martial arts program world university taekwondo championship fundraising golf tournament!   i'm actually gonna try to play golf! ha ha ha! crazy, huh?   well... i know yesterday's entry was so depressing.   i'm sorry 4 bogging u down w/ that crap! *sigh* i've had 'lot on my mind n' stress n' *sigh* all sorts'a crap!   i'm gonna hafta be more realistic 'bout things, i guess... dunno exactly what that means... but i know... i guess some of what i just finally am accepting is this current semester is just gonna be so crappy... kaela is so bizzy w/ skool n' stuff.   it cms to me that her 1st yr of grad skool was bearable, but this semester is just totally unlike the 1st 2.   i don't get grad skool. *sigh* i dunno... neway, instead of talkin' 'bout this crap right now, let's enjoy the weekend n' just have fun! happy happy! let's get happy!

oh yah, i'd mention 1 thing... man, there's a bit of stress over taekwondo stuff.   i dunno, man; i'm cing some really bad attitude, really unhealthy stuff, big egos.   i dunno, i'm pretty displeased w/ some of the stuff i'm cing! seriously! man, i don't get it... if only the masters / professors knew 'bout the stuff that was going on.   *sigh* i dunno, i'm cing some really immature n' shortsighted behaviour!   what can i do?   wll, i'd like to take the "high road."   i'd like to just avoid this crap n' show that i don't need to sink to immaturity.   i'm frickin' 26! i don't hafta put up w/ hi skool attitudes 'bout who's cool n' who's not, u know? so i'm just gonna do my best to do my job.   as much as i can, i'll just ignore this crap!   i feel bad 4 some other ppl, some of my friends that really r caught up in some of this crap... *sigh* i'll try my best to help them out.

i barely found time these past to days to update my journal.   werk's been pretty bizzy.   nites have been pretty bizzy 2, but i don't mind.   every nite, i go to taekwondo practice; it's so regular that it definitely feels like going off to werk or sumpthin'.   like, when we drop off raymond n' johnny, we can say, "c u 2morrow," just as if we were carpooling home from werk.   i sort'a laffed @ that last nite, n' i don't mind.   yesterday @ werk, we had a company mtg, n' i ate pizza n' cake.   u know, my boss actually gave me a really nice stock bonus yesterday.   i know i've been griping a bit 'bout werk lately, but 'least getting rewarding make me feel better.   well, it's like 900a right now, n' i'm typing @ my home pc.   i really gotta leave 4 werk.   man, there's so much i wanna write right now, but i don't have time.   *sigh* u know, next month, on nov 3 is my cousin jennifer's wedding in texas.   i know ppl expect me to go, but the beautiful kaela kang has some awful tests the following week, so she sez she can't go.   *sigh* i feel so torn!   so far, i haven't bought a ticket to fly to texas, n' if i don't buy 1 2day, the price'll go way up.   *sigh* so far, it doesn't look like i'm going w/o kaela, but just to keep my bases covered, i did tell master yoon that my cousin's getting married that day.   if i were to go, i'd be missing the ucmap seat cushion sale @ the cal football game.   grrr! u know, it just isn't an easy decision 4 me.   i don't wanna totally offend my family.   shoot, i want my cousins to come to my wedding, no doubt... but *sigh* wouldn't it be weird 4 me to show up w/o kaela?   the thing is, i do want my relatives to know that i'm very serious 'bout my relationship w/ kaela, so i don't want them to think i'm not cos i show up @ the wedding w/o her, u know?

*sigh* neway, i try to relax.   i don't wanna stress.   i don't want my neck n' shoulders to hurt nemore.   these days, i weight more than i think i should... as in, i look @ myself, n' i think i look skinny, but i weigh more than i think i look like i weight, u know?   it's no big deal; i'm not obsessed w/ low weight; i'm not anorexic.   it's just confusing me.   where am i putting this weight?   what'd be nice is if it's just all dense muscle.   maybe i'm gaining more muscle in my legs.   i think i might be.   i don't want this weight gain to be due to a slowing metabolism.   yah, i worry a li'l 'bout that cos i hear that guys in their late 20s have slowing metabolisms, u know?   i don't wanna get chubby 'gain, 'course. *sigh* ok, man... i really gotta bust outta here n' get to werk!!!

i'm walking on a trail in corte madera.   i'm walking n' writing.   it's sort'a werking.   n' i'm listening to lee junghyun mp3s.   i'm multi-tasking.   ther r so many beautiful waterfowl here in the creek n' pond along this trail.   in corte madera, i like te burdies better than the ppl! ha ha. looking @ all this nice scenery n' wildlife helps me undertand why real estate here is so expen$ive!   it's lunchtime right now.

[later] well, 2day turned out to be not all that great of a werkday. *sigh* i had 2 much frickin' bizzywerk! *sigh* i hate that! i hate werk that cms so ptless n' futile! [later] i'm not happy that i ate no "real fud" 2day.   i ate all sorts'a garbage but no real fud! [624p] i've had such a #!!@&n' lousy day! i'm so #!!@&n' pissed! i feel like such $#!+!

grrr! 2day, i don't feel all that happy @ werk.   man, some days, i just don't love my job much.   it's bizzy, n' it's stressing me out to the pt that my neck n' shoulders hurt.   i really wanna take a break, but there ain't no stoppin'. *sigh* maybe i need more sleep.   yesterday nite taekwondo practice was fine.   afterwards, a bunch of us quickly went to durant to get boba drinks.

2day's homeward bound commute really sucks.   i.m sittin' in it right now. *sigh* 2day wasn't the bizziest werkday ever, not by far.   however, it was also neither a really fun nor fulfilling 1. ho hum.

i can't believe it's already the 8th of oct. *sigh* well, this fri, we're gonna watch stomp!, the musikal.   andy's been sending me all these e.mode tests.   they're an ok waste of time, but i dunno just how meaningful the latest 1s r.   they say my "theme song" is ac/dc's "back in black."   hey, isn't that in a gap ad now? the 1 w/ the african.am woman playing electric guitar? dunno.   neway, what does say more 'bout me is my response to puppy's question on bronx's junkyard 4ums.   she asked guys how they would feel if their gf or future wife made more $$$ than them or had more education than them.   i saw that thread/topik last week but didn't answer till 2day.   the gist of my answer is that it would only bother me if she were making more $$$ than me by being a werkaholic.   i thought 'bout my parents when i was a kid: did they sacrifice family time 4 their jobs? but weren't their jobs providing 4 the family?   *sigh* i realise i'll inherit these issues if i haven't already.   i hate werkaholism, hate it w/ a passion!!!   pah! how many employers wanna hear that? not many, i assume.   neway, how many employers r hiring right now? not many, i assume.   not 1s that will give me more $$$ or a werk location closer to home, i assume.   so i don't believe many potential future employers r reading my webpage these days.   how 'bout my current employer?   i used to be the #1 web referral 4 their site.

i didn't mention, on sun morn, i watched hannibal on dss.   it's pretty gruesome.   i was disappointed that jodie foster wasn't in this 1.   i feel bad 4 the new actress; what a tuff act to follow!   then 'gain, ppl liked anthony hopkins more than jodie foster, i heard.   i 'member an 80s "skaterock" band called jfa, meaning jodie foster's army.   the bad part 'bout dss is that u can't rewind.   i don't get why that gay did what he did to himself.   man, this movie's a bit sick n' twisited, i think.   it's a bit psycho v. psycho; like mad magazine n' mad tv's "spy v. spy": psycho v. psycho.   neway, it was pretty gruesome.

well, where did i leave off?   i totally 4get.   did i tell u 'bout going to western collegiates?   i think i did.   did i tell u 'bout going to noraebang w/ a bunch'a taekwondo ppl last nite?   prob'ly not.   a bunch of taekwondo ppl were @ koko house eating dinner w/ peter n' jeannie, but i was @ home.   i sed i'd meet up w/ them later if they did sumpthin' after eating.   johnny called me n' sed he needed a ride to koko house cos he missed jerome's fon call.   eh, i figured i ought to be heading out by that time neway.   so i picked up johnny n' met up w/ them.   they were almost done w/ dinner, but johnny had some of their, heh, like scraps, u know? like the rest of a massacred tongdalk n' a leftover half plate of dduhkbokki.   i had 1 soju shot w/ them n' hung 'round.   when the waiter brought the check, since it was near me, i flipped it over, n' i noticed that a bored waiter or waitress had drawn a mashimaro.like bunny on it!!!   ha ha ha! n' ppl thought it looked like jerome, so they took pics of him w/ the pic.   then i asked the waiter to take a coupl'a pics of us all.   then we went to music box to do noraebang.   oh, who was there? jerome, laura, sophia, tiffany, young, romy, peter, jeannie, johnny, n' me.   after dinner, romy n' young went home, but sam met us @ music box.   we sang songs, n' it was fun.   it was weird cos kaela kang wasn't there w/ me.   hrm... 4 a sec, i had a flashback to those days, like, back in 1999 or so, when i was single n' was hangin' out w/ the taekwondo p.crew all the time.   do i miss those days?   eh, no, i like my life now better.   but do i regret those days?   no! no way! but would i do nething diff in those days?   hrm... no there's a question!   i started wondering: what if i had moved out of the hillegass apt earlier?   i really should have!   why did i live w/ josh in those days?! *sigh* i dunno, man.   i mean, i felt friendship w/ him, yah.   but frick! honestly, he was a difficult situation in ways in those days 2!   i mean, socially... like, looking back, i wonder how my social life would've been diff if i hadn't lived w/ josh in those days.   heh, it's not like i'm saying, "oh, i had such a boring social life, n' it's all cos of josh!!!"   no! i had a great time in those days.   it was fun, 4 what it was worth!   no doubt! still... it's interesting to me to imagine how life could've been diff in those days.   well, seriously, what would've changed?   well, what impact did he have?   like, i felt bad that brandie felt uncom4table coming over cos of josh.   that was a hard but unavoidable situation.   in fact, there were several females that felt uncom4table 'bout the way josh behaved 'round them, n' well... it was a talked 'bout issue, what effect that had on me.   like, supermike brought up that issue. *sigh* basically, he told me that since josh was creeping out gurls, shouldn't i worry that it was affecting my life?!   well, frick! again, it's not like i'm saying, "man, i could've been such a pimp if it wasn't 4 josh!" tsss! u know that's not what's on my mind...   but i guess things might have been just plain different.   i mean, shoot... josh creeped out guys 2, not just gurls...   neway, i don't mean to make this a josh bashing session.   i'm just saying that i had an interesting thought.   neway, it's not like life didn't turn out fine 4 me so far... so far... 2day, it's sun.   i had a lazy, relaxing day, n' i can say "life is good."   *sigh* i miss moonhee's journal! i wish he'd journal 'gain.   life is good, n' life goes on.

so 2day, i took kaela out 4 dimsum in the early afternoon.   we went to the place in the richmond/albany 99 ranch mall.   we had a good dimsum lunch, then we went to the sanrio store.   i've been really wanting an asian, cutesy, car air freshner.   i wanted sumpthin' diff from what other ppl had, tho'.   heh, that's hard!   neway, i bought me n' kaela these air freshners, where u feed the animal shaped air freshner the air freshner pellets.   i have a penguin, she has a ducky.   these kind'f trinkets r sort'f wastes of $$$, i know... but my car stinks, n' well, shoot... it's just a li'l sumpthin' to make the day brighter, u know?   neway, heh... i figured it's ok to spend a li'l $$$ right now, right?   just a li'l.   on fri, my dad was commenting that we gotta buy a bigger tv n' a dvd player.   hrm...   it's funny cos it's always cmed like my dad thought i was 2 extravagant in my spending.   'course he's not asking me to go out n' get ripped off! but he does sort'f think i'm pretty behind the times in that a/v entertainment dept... even tho' we got the dss system.   i do realise our a/v setup is very, very, very unusual!   who the heck watches dss on a 13" tv/vcr combo?!   actually, 1 thing i gotta do is hook up the dss system to my yamaha reciever.   that'll make movies a li'l more fun... 'course it's still funny to watch a movie w/ decent sound but a small screen, huh?   eh, it's ok.   i mean, i think it's kewl that ppl like my dad n' lots'f our friends have dvd players n' nice tvs.   sure, maybe we'll get them someday, n' i think we will.   still, i'm not gonna base my life upon acquiring material things.   nope.   i'll try my best not to be materialistic, yet appreciate technology.

neway... from "life is good, n' life goes on," i wanted to go on to talk 'bout how after dimsum, i drove down to milpitas to get kaela a loaner cellfon.   her motorola startac 7868 has been acting up.   i met up w/ ryan (nishikawa) (ken's bizness partner, n' our longtime friend from hi skool n' middle skool... altho' he wasn't so close of a friend to me back then... yet more than just an acquaintance...)   neway, i met up w/ him, got kaela's loaner fon... then i just sat 'round n' chatted w/ ryan.   it felt good to talk to some1 my age.   i really love my friends up in berkeley, n' i love hanging out w/ them, but so many of them r younger, n' that's fine, but it's neat to hear from some1 my age now n' then.   sometimes, it's bad, sometimes it's good.   when i'm w/ ppl my age from my hi skool... frick, sometimes it such a frickin' "keepin' up w/ the joneses" thing.   that really annoys me.   there's basis 4 comparison cos we all started from the same place, right?   neway, as long as i can ditch that scene, i like hanging w/ ppl my age 'least 1nce in a while.   sure, heh... so many nites i'm the oldest hyung/oppa figure there, right? like last nite.   n' that's fine.   i don't mind @ all.   neway... i'm really beating this pt to death. heh heh... ryan n' i talked 'bout cars n' 'bout my werk n' marin county n' how he should bring his gf tiffany to pt reyes sometime.   c, tiffany's a lot younger than us... she's uh... i guess, jerome's age! ok, so she's not that much younger than us. i hate to start thinking in hi skool terms as far as age.   ryan talked 'bout cigars.   altho' i don't smoke, it was interesting to hear 'bout cigars.   i guess some ppl find that to be more "mature" topik.   neway, it's not like cigars r really so much a "mature" thing... but the way ryan n' i talked, i felt like we were having a mature conversation... n' the way me n' ken talk these days, i feel we're 'lot more mature.   'lot of it relates to the absence of competition n' snobby attitude... *sigh* i dunno... i just relate so much of that to hi skool... n' it carried over into college... 1st, back in hi skool, ppl had to be so defensive or proud of their grades, achievements, or activities.   then we went off to college.   4 some of us, that changed.   4 others, ppl still acted all defensive or proud of their grades or college, etc...   *sigh* there's this big show some ppl put on!   the popularity contest still went on 4 some ppl, u know? but *sigh* i feel good that w/ some ol' hi skool classmates, i feel the popularity contest is really put behind us.   neway, it was kewl to talk to ryan, n' but i left a li'l after he closed up shop.   i guess he wouldn't have minded if i hung out till he left.   he had to wait 4 an employee to come n' pick up some stuff.   neway, i felt i had to get back to berkeley n' cook dinner.   i'm gonna cook dduhkbokki soon.

on my way up, i saw a blue cross billboard... i think it was blue cross... it talked 'bout how this company took care of u from birth to old age.   on the left it had a pic of a baby, on the right a pic of an old man.   in btwn, it had this timeline w/ the following entries:

so i've been using my soundsgood quite a bit this 3day weekend...   what did i have in my soundsgood mp3 player 2day?

• clon - "choryuhn" (techno mix)
• j - jae (performance version)
• kim guhnmo - "double"
• dj doc - "d.o.c. blues"
• h.o.t. - "the promise of hot" (remix)
• chakra - "kkeut"
• eco - "geudaedo... naegeido..."
• koyotae - "passion"
• dj hush - "out of the blue"
• kim hyuhnjuhng - "kwaenchanha"
• park hyeikyuhng - "haneul"
• turbo - "tonight"
• jaurim - "leitei"
• yangpa - "one fine day"
• j - "beet"
• kim minjong - "areumdaoon apeum."

i haven't gotten much e.mail lately.   1 song i really like right now is eco's "geudaedo... naegeido..."   it's a pretty yet admittedly somewhat bubblegummy pop ballad.   neway, i wanna hear how u r doing!

last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i had dinner w/ my dad in san mateo @ a japanese restaurant in the marina fuds shopping center.   he left 4 taiwan w/ grace n' steve.   2day, i went to watch the end of the 2001 western collegiate taekwondo championships.   peter (bronx) n' jeannie (4tang [pronounced sa-tang, meaning "candy" in korean] came to watch.   i felt bad cos i got there so late, altho' i was s'pposed to ref.   4tunately, master yoon wasn't pissed @ me @ all.   phew.   i helped clean up.   well, it's been a bit of a lazy day 4 me.   b4 i left to the tournament, i watched the road to el dorado @ home w/ kaela as we ate leftover maewoon tang.   we might watch a movie 2nite, i dunno.

2day's been my day off.   it's almost 400p now.   have i accomplished much?   well, i've relaxed a good amt, i guess.   *sigh* that's all i can ask 4, right?   this morn, i dropped the beautiful kaela kang off on campus.   then i went to emeryville to return the 2nd package of handspring screen covers @ officemax.   'member, i had found a cheaper price @ fry's.   however, after i returned it, i found out, i had actually paid less than i thought 4 that package!!!   i had only paid $19, not $24.95; while the fry's price was $19.95.   talk 'bout "d'oh!"   heh, *sigh* no biggie, just a $1 lesson always to check my receipt, right?   i came home 4 a very, very short while then kaela called me up to tell me to pick her up.   we went to lunch @ yeitnal jjajang, then i dropped her off @ some mtg in downtown oakland.   i came home n' watched my music plus korean gayo musik video vcd.   the 2 kim minjong videos were very entertaining.   more of those movie type videos.   i saw a moonchild video.   they're a somewhat entertaining group of young boys, a group kind'a like the monkees or sumpthin'.   bubblegum rock pop.   not they're not 'nother bsb / n'sync group cos they apparently 'least pretend to play instruments. ha ha ha.   seriously, i don't consider this real musik, but i don't deny its entertainment value.   i've been listening more to novasonic.   that's something diff from the typical bubblegum pop that certain ppl think all contemporary asian "pop" musik is.   they're a thrash rock band, sometimes a li'l punk, sometimes a li'l funk.   2day, i brought my soundsgood mp3 player in my car.   1 song that's currently on its playlist that i like is jaurim's "reitei."   jaurim's that group that sometimes sounds like no doubt.   this song, if i were to compare it to an american group, sounds more like a cowboy junkies song.   i gotta change the mp3s on my soundsgood tho'.   i don't like the mix of atb's "don't stop" that i have on there right now.   i wanna take that 1 off n' maybe put a diff remix of that trance club anthem on.

man, these stoopid bug bites annoy me!   it's so frickin' cloudy n' gloomy outside!   i don't like that.   i wish it were sunny n' warm.   *sigh* i guess eventually snowboarding season'll get here.   i wanna go snowboarding.   2morrow's the western collegiate taekwondo championships.   2morrow, i'm going w/ kaela 4 a bbq w/ her cowerkers from her lab.   it's far away in mendocino county.   i wanna get back in time to c some of the wester collegiates @ chabot college.   i'm supposed to ref a li'l, if i can.   i'll try.   next weekend, i might play in the wutc funraising golf tournament.   ha! man, can u imagine that?!?! me? golf?!   ha ha ha, but jeff asked me, n' the idea sounded interesting, n' the entrance fee isn't 2 bad. *sigh* we'll c.   i don't gotta wear golf clothes, right?   ha ha ha.   i can't imagine that!

2nite, kaela n' i r gonna meet my dad 4 lunch near sfo.   2morrow, we gotta wake up really early.   otherwise, i wish we could go out n' watch a movie afterwards. *sigh*   u know, i wanna do more djing stuff.   that's almost ridiculous to say cos u all think i never have time... n' i know i don't. *sigh* but i'm just saying i'd like to, u know?   it's october.   daylite savings time'll end eventually.   it'll be november sometime.   then we'll have thanksgiving.   that'll be a break.   i don't get "indigenous ppl's day" off on mon, no way.   i wish!   my company doesn't even give me mlk, jr. day off!   however, this yr, i took it off as a floating holiday neway.   thanksgiving, then christmas, then new yr's... then presidents' day...   the circle of life goes 'round. circle of life?! uh... that makes it sound like some kind of big animal eats small animal fud chain thing... hrm... well, u know... that joni mitchell "circle game" song thing... yrs go 'round, u know? hrm... i think fall weather always makes me think like this!   during the summer, i'm 2 bizzy out in the sun havin' fun to think like this!   gloomy weather makes me overly pensive, right?   well, life ain't bad.   i feel better now than @ the beginning of this week... last week wasn't good either.   however, weekends have been pretty good lately, right?   oh, just b4 i started writing this entry, i started marinating maewoondalk (korean spicy chicken).   that's 4 2morrow's bbq.

i feel better now.   it's 202a or so.   i feel better.   i've watched several movies lately cos of dss.   on tues nite, we watched the mexican.   after taekwondo practice, i picked the beautiful kaela kang up from a berkeley pub.   she went there w/ some classmates after her midterm.   i had raymond w/ me.   we went to sun hong kong to get dinner.   then we came home; that's when we saw the mexican.   2nite, we watched, uh... what did we watch? oh, yah... this hbo documentary called gia 'bout a 80s supermodel w/ aids.   it was a bit of an artsy movie; it was really interesting.   i've watched bits of the family man here n' there.   i really liked that movie, so i don't mind cing it over n' over. *sigh* i just feel it sez 'lot 'bout life.   it's just so important how u spendjur time, u know?

taekwondo demo team's been going great.   well, shoot. we have a long way to go, but i feel good.   we got some big plans ahead.   man... i wish we had funding.   ain't that the story w/ all the projects in my life?   neway, i feel good in taekwondo; i feel good practicing.   my philosophy is that taekwondo should enrich its practitioners lives, not run it.   we shouldn't turn taekwondo into some kind of religious cult or sumpthin', u know?   it should not take the life out of us, yah. it should make us feel good!   it does make me feel good.   but i've had to sacrifice lots'a time.   this summer, i didn't sacrifice so much time, n' i got to play a li'l.   that was a good summer break.   i dunno... sometimes i wonder if i'm missing some other things.   like, u know? 'member, i used to tell chals that i'd like to take motorcycle riding lessons someday.   eh, frick... that's just some stoopid whimsical thing tho'.   just sumpthin' i wanna do 1nce.   i wouldn't get into that.   i don't wanna.   i don't wanna just pick up new interests n' hop n' hop n' hop.   i don't want that, not 4 myself.   what do i want 4 myself?   i want to be good @ a few things, n' i wanna really pursue those interests, u know?   i wanna really develop those skills i have.   i don't wanna spread myself 2 thin.   *sigh* u know, in hi skool, my mom thought i spread myself 2 thin.   i was involved in so many clubs n' musik groups!   but when i got to college, i dropped most everything.   i studied... well, 'least after a while.   i studied.   i did taekwondo.   i did a li'l bit of musik, played guitar, n' djed.   i did church stuff.   nething else?   well, 4 a short time, i had a job as a dishwasher @ a church banquet kitchen.   i tried to keep my life simple tho'.   yah... that was my life.   n' there were semesters i studied harder than other semesters.   hrm... i wonder how joon's handling his time these days.   i read his journal whenever he updates, so i know that much.

neway, i have a mtg 2morrow morn.   i'd best get to sleep 4 now.   goodnite.

[later, in the afternoon] my neck hurts, n' i have 'round 10 bug bites on my body.   i dunno why.   i ate a 2 crispy taco combo @ la huasteca.   dang! i should've gone to the bank to get parking 0.25s!   la huasteca's in downtown san rafael.   it was a yummy but greasy lunch: 1 chicken, i steak taco w/ rice n' beans.   i drank a watermelon agua fresca.   [later] i feel better knowing 2day's the last werkday of the week.   oh yah, after lunch, i walked to kragen in san rafael n' bought windshield wiper blade refills n' a container of armor-all wipes.   the store has this price guarantee thing: if the price @ the shelf doesn't match the price @ the register, they'll give u the lower price.   the shelf had a sale tag: $3.99 but it was teknically expired a few days ago.   the ca$hier ringed up the reguar price of $4.29.   i pted out the error n' got the small discount.

[later, upes! it's almost midnite!] well, i felt better 2day overall.   practice went well.   raymond bought me n' kaela boba drinks after practice to pay us back 4 all the rides we give him.   nice of him.   right now kaela's cooking maewoon tang.   we went to safeway after we dropped off raymond.   practice was good, but apparently there was a bit of stress amongst the team.   well, i hope the best 4 them.   i feel their burden; i really do.   i'm there every nite.   i c it.   this sat is the western collegiate taekwondo championships.   i want them to kick butt.   i believe they can do it!

we had such good weather this past weekend.   now, in berkeley, we have fog.   it's morn right now.   i'm gonna leave to werk soon.   i just felt like writing the start of a journal entry b4 i leave.   *sigh* actually, i'm a li'l depressed, so i don't feel like writing an entry @ all.

[later] i ought to take a lunchbreak, but it's way past my usual lunch hour.   i feel like crap n' don't feel like eating.   i'd better 4ce myself to eat, or else i'll be so hungry later. *sigh* [208p] i'm in the san rafael trader joe's parking lot.   i just bought lunch.   [later] i ate thit tuna wrap sandwich from trader joe's.   i'm thirsty.   depression sucks.   depression can steal ur appetite; but then u also worry u'll binge eat out of depression.   eh! i try not to whine so much in my journal.   i'm glad i get this fri off.   then i start thinking pessimistically that i never get much done on my days off.   i can really make myself feel worse n' worse if i try.   i feel "down."   i wish 2morrow were fri.   will i survive till fri? i dunno what'll make me feel happier.

it's actually still oct 01... barely.   2day, i left my handspring @ home, so i was unable to write up an entry.   *sigh* i don't wanna sound so teknology addicted or dependent, but i wish i had had my handspring w/ me.   i wrote an entry n' planned to e.mail it to myself to post, but i 4got to e.mail it.   so please look 4 yesterday's entry 2morrow.   heh heh... cos it's still technically yesterday.   i guess i wrote a pretty significant journal entry 2day... i mean yesterday.   i summarised the weekend, i think.

now it's really 2day.   i commented to the beautiful kaela kang that car companies nowadays wanna make such artistic commercials ever since bmw started bmwfilms.com.   we just saw the "wicked game" all wheel drive jaguar commercial.   we ate a big dinner.   we had rice, marinated nakji (octopi) from 99 ranch, grilled frozen unagi, n' kaela's marinated lotus.   mmmm.... it was so good!   i went to taekwondo pracce, led demo practice... so these days i usually shower @ the rsf.   it saves time. [a li'l later] now it's blind date.   i'll be awake 4 a li'l while.   practice was good n' productive.   dinner was good.   i hope this week feels better than last week.

[much, much later] man, i gotta get out of here n' go to practice!   neway, now i've added yesterday's entry: "4got my handspring".   grrr! i gotta get to practice; i'm muddleheaded, a li'l.   gotta go!

*sigh* 2day i 4got my handspring @ home, so i can't write my entry on my handspring.   instead i'm typing it up on notepad, n' i plan to send this text to myself n' then cut n' paste it into my webpage @ home.   i'm not writing w/ a stylus; i'm typing.   ah, i 'member this old feeling.   i'm reminisicing. *sigh* ha, imagine if styli replaced keyboards in the future...   hrm... i don't think that's where we're headed, but who knows?   well, it's nice n' warm 2day; not as warm as yesterday but pretty good.   yah, actually, sat was pretty good 2, huh? i got so sweatty while doing housechores @ home.   ah, this was a good weekend, eh?   2day, my manager's not in, but i had some things to do.   last week @ werk was way 2 stressful!!!   *sigh* i also got taekwondo biz to take care of.   besides getting demo team stuff organised, i'm now in charge of organising an end.of.the.semester banquet.   i didn't mind taking on this job 2 much cos i like fud, etc.   i think i gotta get that v.i.p. yuhngbingwan place to cater the banquet somewher on campus.   v.i.p.'s the place where we had the 2000-2001 ucmap banquet.   ha, ppl say they need to give us more fud tho'.   *sigh* we'll c.   yah, there's lots'a demo biz to take care of 2.

[later] what a quiet day @ werk!   i wish every day were this mellow!

so... wow, it's been a good weekend, i think... [much later] ooh boy, how do i quickly summarise this fun weekend?   yah, it's hard to start.   on fri, i came home b4 the beautiful kaela kang.   i thought she was gonna call me on my way home n' ask me to pick her up from the bart station.   she was in sf 4 a conference.   i got home, n' she hadn't called me, so i got all settled in @ home.   right after i had dialed in to update m journal n' right after i had just put a hot dog in the microwave n' a hot dog bun in the toaster oven, she called to let me know i needed to pick her up.... d'oh! oh well, no biggie, but it took me a while to get out the door.   after i picked her up, we called up ppl to c if they wanted to eat dinner n' watch zoolander.   roland, raymond, n' johnny went w/ us to dinner.   we picked raymond up from northside andronico's.   1st we tried to eat @ café de la paz, but 'twas 2 crowded, had 2 long of a wait.   we then went to toyo japanese restaurant on shattuck by bing wong wash.   i was so hungry!   the restaurant really spectacular or nething, but it served its purpose.   i had this chicken mizutaki dish, something yosenabe.ish or sukiyaki.ish, u know?   well, we stayed @ toyo 2 long, so we couldn't make the planned amc 1000 van ness 955p showing of zoolander.   we dropped of roland who needed to sleep to wake up early 4 his dragonboating competition.   the rest of us tried to catlh zoolander @ 1010p @ jack london.   it was sold out, so we watched rush hour 2 instead.   whoa! what a good movie!!! surely better than the 1st!   i appreciated that it was pretty tasteful in avoiding lame racial stereotypes... not 100% flawless, but compared to the avg hollywood movie, very good.   well, i really liked it n' recommend it.   on my way to the bathroom, genie park sed hi to me.   i feel so bad cos my 1st instinct was to call her by her bjunkyard screenname "tomat," so i sorta fumbled w/ her name.   i hope i didn't embarass her in front of her friends.

sat morn, i went to taekwondo sparring prtice, n' kaela went to do a butt gallery werkout.   we gave raymond a ride.   it was a pretty good werkout.   afterwards, seunghwan, ken yamaguchi, raymond, kaela, n' i went to eat lunch.   we originally planned 4 yeisnal jjajang, but our group grew, so we moved it across the street to ucopen sponsor happy family chinese restaurant.   jason, efren, garth, micah, n' sterling joined us.   it was a very good lunch, n' i've been wanting to hang w/ jason 4 a while now.   i want him to know i'll help him out however i can thru this stressful time.   i really enjoyed having lunch w/ this taekwondo crowd.   i enjoyed spending a li'l time w/ the "team" ppl.   after lunch, a bunch'f them went to tilden driving range, but i drove raymond, kaela, n' myself to young's trading where kaela bought her headwrap thingy 4 kendo/kuhmdo.   afterwards, i dropped raymond off, then we went to long's drugs to buy some odds n' ends.   i ran into stephan garcia there.   coincidentally, i was on the fon w/ toby @ the time.   toby sometimes sings in some rock band that stephan put 2gether.   these 2 r a couple of the musicians i most respect out of my friends.   i caught up a li'l w/ stephan.   he still lives in the apt bldg across from raymond's.   i think he's kept a steady relationship 4 a while.   he didn't talk 'bout it, but i later saw him w/ some gurl that i think i've cn w/ him b4.   heh heh... i guess that's an awkward way of putting it. heh heh.   i think i last saw him w/ this gurl @ isobune... i think.   neway, we went home, n' i did some chores, housechores.

then ken, grace, n' nelson came up! woo hoo! ken, properly installed our dss system!!!!   kewl, now we have a dss system. (n' it's free... shhh!)   we can watch all the latest movies, etc.  woohoo! now, we just gotta make sure it doesn't become a distraction!   but hey! ppl should come over!   they really should!   nelson let me burn some copies of win xp n' office xp.   then we went to dansuhngsa pojangmacha n' had a huge dinner n' some drinks.   geez, we ate so much, but ken n' nelson still wanted to order some more... i was sort'f an obstacle in that, i guess.   the waitress even sed she was so shocked that we finished all the fud n' that she had made a bet w/ a waiter that we wouldn't.   we ordered: jjolmyuhn dduhkbokki, mandoo, tongdalk/maekjoo combo, altang, n' golbaengi.   then we ordered more!!! dwaeji bulgogi, a bottle of hite, a bottle of soju, a small boksoonga (peach) soju... n' then the waitress got us some dalkddongjip n' a small, small ddalgi (strawberry) soju 4 free.   heh, it was fun to watch nelson sort'a make a move on her, but she sed she had a bf.   well, after we rested a bit after eating all that fud, we went back to the apt.   ken had to go to his sister ellen's place to help her w/ some computer things, so the 3 left us.   i heard ken dropped nelson off @ club ibiza later.   kaela n' i watched the 2nd half of crouching tiger, hidden dragon n' then tomcats.

sun, ah, what a relaxing day. :-) mmmm...   we woke up sort'a late, 'round noon.   then i brought kaela to express on bancroft to use a coupon she had.   then we ate lunch @ coffee source on telly.   we had a big, "super combo" w/ a pastrami sandwich on wheat n' a giant green salad w/ honey poppyseed dressing.   ah, it was so good, 'specially the salad!   i haven't had coffee source fud since i was in college!!!   my sister introduced me to that place.   i think ken was w/ us the 1st time i went w/ my sister.   later, i went there a few times w/ owen.   the salad was so good cos kaela n' i were both craving veggies so badly.   i'm sure it was cos we hadn't been eating many veggies lately.   gotta eat veggies, u know!   well, kaela had a study group to go to @ 300p.   b4 i dropped her off, we went into the rsf so kaela could use the bathroom.   i peeked into the martial arts room.   i saw this team member attendance sheet on the wall.   it really interested me.   then some older woman, a wushu or hapkido woman asked me, "do u have ne questions?" ha... i thought that was so funny.   *sigh* of course, i'm not like dr. min or dr. ur or master yoon or dr. link or ne1, but i mean... i'm office staff as demo coordinator n' ucmap is such a big part of my life, but this woman thought i was just some interested person passing by.   heh, of course i tried not to be snobby or nething to her, but i sed, "oh, no i'm actually part of the taekwondo club; i was just looking @ that," n' i pointed @ the attendance sheet.   i was thinking, maybe she thinks i'm just some green belt or sumpthin'.   heh, neway, no big deal... i'm not that pompous n' arrogant, am i?   well, after that, i dropped kaela off @ berkeley espresso n' then went home to do laundry.   i got to c frisco, our neighbour's cat, when i went downstairs to the laundry room.   frisco is such a beautiful, black cat.   i watched most of the family man.   i hadn't realised that the gay versace sales clerk from rush hour 2 was from the family man.   that makes 2 connections, including the angel guy from the family man who's carter's (tucker) friend in the rush hour movies.   kaela eventually called me to pick her up n' feed her. :-) (j/k) i picked her up, gave her publik health friend padma a ride home, n' took her to 99 mall.   i wanted to buy some wasabi to make zarusoba... oh yah! i didn't mention: it was so hot 2day!!!!   we've had beautiful... absolutely beautiful weather this weekend!!!!   ah... what a weekend! what a beautiful weekend! unh! it feels so good after a crappy week like last week, right?   *sigh* yah. well, we got 2 hungry, so we didn't buy groceries to take home 4 dinner.   1st we stopped by shengkee to buy some mooncakes n' pastries.   then we had dinner @ 168, a good dinner.   we had nyuromien (stewed beef noodles), cold sesame sauce chicken noodles (sumpthin' ji neungmien), n' kongchingchai (hollow tube veggies).   oh, n' we had a boba tea each.   then we also ordered tsua bing (shaved ice [patbingsoo]).   it was so bizzy @ 168! n' i felt bad 4 the servers cos they had a coupl'a mishaps: 1 waiter spilled a bunch of dirty dishes n' also got a woman's clothes dirty.   then their air conditioner leaked a bunch'f condensation down on a table of young ppl.   neway, they were so crowded.   there were so many families, many young families.   it was interesting to me cos i had been watching the family man, n' while waiting 4 a table we saw a coupl'a 30sumpthin' guys w/ their young kids.   it reminded me of nicolas cage's character jack campbell.   neway... we had a good dinner, then we shopped @ 99 ranch.   then we browsed the book/musik/gift store.   then we went home.   if finished the laundry n' did some mp3/musik biz on my 'puter.   i tried 'gain to fix kaela's 'puter, but man... it's a big mess. *sigh* well, i guess i'll go now... it's actually 100a on october 1.   *sigh* can u believe it's october?!?! @ the same time, it felt weird to me that daylite savings time hasn't ended yet.

it's fri morn, n' i woke up early... a li'l early.   i'm writing this journal entry from my home 'puter, but i gotta take off to werk very soon.   *sigh* this has been a very craptacular week!   i.e., it has been a very crappy week.   the month has been pretty good up till this week.   this week has officially sucked @$$.   it also sucks $#!+!   n' last but not least, it sucked like $#!+!   *sigh* what a $#!++y week!   maybe it was cos it was the "end of the month"?   the end of the month often sucks major $#!+ @ werk.   not only does it cause extra headache 4 me directly, every1 else @ werk gets so bitchy n' whiney, n' i gotta hear it.   *sigh*

well, i fixed the link to the duckling pic.   i dled it from the y! server n' put it on my ocf acct.   i hope u can c it now, but i know ftping from my 'puter to ocf has had its probs b4. grrrr!   i'm so stressed.   to relax, lemme just sit n' stare @ this duckling pic!   [a few secs later] phew, so the pic uploaded ok.   dang, that's maybe the 1st thing that went right this week!   oh yah, 'member how last week i felt i was "in the zone" @ taekwondo practice? (sept 19, 2001)   well, shoot, this week, i didn't feel so "in the zone."   i felt "off"!   *sigh* lemme resume staring @ the duckling pic.   excuse me.

[later] i'm now sittin' @ a bench @ the royal coach carwash in san rafael.   i'm having my car washed.   there's a big croud here.   it's fri; i guess every1 wants their cars washed 4 the weekend, including me.  yup, they're vacuuming my car now.   s what's up?   *sigh* it't fri; i'm @ werk.   most werkin' folk werk on a normal fri like 2day.   *sigh* 2morrow morn, i plan to go to taekwondu sparring class/practice.   *sigh* sometimes i feel ppl r just waiting 4 me to quit.   when will i grow out of taekwondo?   *sigh* i don't c it like that @ all.   sure, i'm 2 far out of skool to compete 4 collegiates, n' i'm almost pushin' the under 28 age requirement, not yet but almost.   no, i'm not competing 4 collegiates, but i can still enjoy taekwondo, right?   i want to be good @ it.   i've been going to all the competition team practices, 2 reasons: 1. master yoon sez all demo team members must go to competition team werkouts, n' 2. i just want a good werkout n' to improve my overall taekwondo skills.   *sigh*

[a li'l later] i went to burger king drive.thru 4 lunch.   i bought a double ch.burger meal! i really rarely eat stuff like that! my mouth feels a li'l greasy.   i brought the fud back to my cubie to eat, but while slowly driving back thru traffic, i ate most my onion rings n' drank 0.5 my diet coke.   [later] so... i was talkin' 'bout taekwondo.   some of the team members r really hyped up now.   they're training hardcore, n' i'm just trying to keed up w/ them.   i have the motivation, n' i sorta have the time to try to keep up w/ them.   but i c that lots'a other taekwondo friends don't.   i feel so bad cos i think the "hardcore" ppl r making them feel so uncom4table.   it's not an all or nuthin' thing, but some of the "hardcore" ppl apparently r maybe makin' others think it is.   ppl r getting scared off or 'least turned off!   wtf?!?! didn't dr. min say just a coupl'a semesters 'go that we gotta make berkeley taekwondo a friendly, wholesome, martial arts environment that helps develop good ppl all 'round?!?! *sigh* he told us not to be dumb jocks or thugs!   me, i wanna commit my time to taekwondo.   i don't compete, but i wanna further my martial arts education!   i don't mind spending time on it.   but it is s'pposed to have a healthy environment.

well, this is a continuation of "yesterday's" entry, "liane's b.day," from a few mins ago.   please read that short entry b4 reading this entry.   thanks!   well, yesterday was such a bizzy day.   werk's been stressful these days. *sigh* why?!?! well, i went to practice last nite.   it was a good practice. again, that's thanks to jason.   i know some team members r upset 'bout other members not coming to practice.   *sigh* yah... i feel it's a bit stressful 4 some ppl right now.   i feel bad 4 them.   like, i'm happy that i've been able to go to practice so much lately.   even tho' i had to miss last nite, i feel good 'bout regularly making it to practile mon thru thurs nite n' sat morn.   well, i'm a li'l disappointed myself w/ how demo team attendance has been.   when i was a freshman, my roommate adam was on the cal football team.   he practiced every day in the afternoon.   the taekwondo team practices every nite 'cept maybe not fri nite.   still, the students don't get to take a reduced courseload the way other intercollegiate athletes get to.   that honestly sucks.   n' most taekwondo team members care a good deal 'bout their educations.   it's hard times, i know.   i hope we can resolve this.

4nite, i came home from practice, n' the beautiful kaela kang was cooking fried rice.   oh! i didn't mention thtt on tues nite she cooked this delicious pasta 4 me.   it had very random ingredients, but it was so good!   mmmm... yesterday, @ luncy, i went to safeway.   i bought some groceries.   i ate a lean cuisine frozen french bread pizza 4 lunch.   what am i listening to lately? i like turbo's "tonight."

canadian geese

[much later] now it's evening.   i've had 'nother bizzy, bizzy day @ werk.   *sigh* i put a new screen protector on my visor (my handspring); i'm making more typos right now.   i ate leftover fried rice 4 lunch in my cubicle 2day.   i didn't go out all during my lunchbreak.   whuh? daylite savingt time doesn't end till oct 28?!?! *sigh* i was sure it was sooner than that!   i saw canadian geese on my way to werk 2day.   i c them all the time these days! they hang out in the field by the skool by the usda bldg in albany.   they're so beautiful!   u know on the sept 11 morn, my mom called me on my way to werk n' told me 'bout the plane crash attacks.   i was really tense.   then i drove past the geese n' relaxed just a li'l.   the geese r beautiful!   i want to show u a picture of a duckling; i hope u can c it! man, this screen protector makes it harder to write n' harder to c.   i couldn't get all the bubbles out.

[later] *sigh* i'm so frickin' stressed out now.   i just wanna think 'bout geese.   my cowerker ben n' his wife kristen just got this li'l 8 week old yellow labrador / daschund puppy.   it's so cute.   i just wanna think 'bout that puppy.   after practice 2nite, seunghwan, wei, n' i went to sweetheart to get boba drinks.   we sat 'round the fud ct n' talked 'bout careers.   wei's only a sophomore; he shouldn't worry 2 much yet.   seunghwan n' i talked 'bout the young unemployed of the tech bust.   seunghwan's unemployed right now.   he sed student't don't realise @ all how much more stressful the werking world is than college life.   *sigh* how can i not agree???

happy b.day, liane!   haven't heard from u in a while, but i hope u'r well!

man, i tried so hard to log an entry 2day.   all day, i tried to find time, but... ugh! i was so bizzy!   *sigh* 1st, i got to werk pretty late cos'f bad, bad traffik.   then i just had such a bizzy day.   i don't think my manager would've believed that i was late cos'f traffik if it weren't 4 my cowerker wei's talking 'bout how there was an accident on the bridge.   now it't almost midnite, n' i'm just now writing this entry on my handspring while sitting on the couch, waiting 4 my 'puter to dl mp3s.   well, it's midnite now, so upn44 it playing the 2nd news radio episode of the nite.   i should start a new entry cos it's officially a new day.   now, please go to the next entry, "attendance".

yesterday evening's lightning storm really impressed ppl.   to me it looked as if god were shooting lightning down from heaven to kill sinners or sumpthin's.   it was so spectacular!   well, we went to practice; had a decent practice.   we came home n' watched an episode of the simpsons then 'nother episode the beautiful kaela kang set the vcr to record last nite.   we also saw an episode of everybody loves raymond.   i had chores n' cyberchores to attend to.   "cyberchores," i'm referring to housekeeping my 'puter.   there r things u gotta do on ur 'puter that r chores, u know?

last nite, 4 dinner we had leftovers of my homemade clam chowder.   kaela added fresh dill she bought from andronico's.   this morn, i woke up ok n' ready 4 werk.   i ate 2 hotdogs 4 breakfast.   i ate 2 chicken tacos @ roadrunner burrito 4 lunch.

[later] last week n' in recent days, i've felt good @ werk; but so far this week, i haven't felt so good: 2 much stress, 2 much pressure, 2 many undefined goals n' unrealistil deadlines! grrr!!!   [much later] grr... i had such a crappy day @ werk 2day!   n' i had to stay so late, n' i missed taekwondo practice!!!   i waited late @ the office cos my cowerker's husband was late to pick her up.   last time this happened, it was cos he got in a car accident, n' i had to drive them n' some guests from hong kong back to the east bay.   (please refer to "net outage," 29 march, 2001.)   i felt bad if i left, so i stayed.   2day, there was some big accident on the bay bridge that killed a women, so the other highways had so much traffik.   well, my cowerker's husband finally made it after 3 hrs of traffik.   i missed practice.

now i'm home finishing this journal entry.   i haven't had dinner yet.   i'm missing practice.   i don't like this... *sigh* it was sunny 2day; no rain.

last nite i cooked clam chowder from scratch 4 the beautiful kaela kang.   i used to cook this back in college, but i'd use heavy cream instead of nonfat milk... crazy! *sigh* i used to cook so unhealthily.

right now, it's early evening, n' i'm in my cubicle (cubie).   outside, here in corte madera, there's a small thunderstorm.   weird!   on my soundsgood i'm listening to an enigmaish remix of depeche mode's "somebody."   it's kewl... now it's over.   what's this song?   i hear an orchestra. oh! it's the original mix of kim minjong's "areumdaoon apeum," which means "beautiful pain."   i just don't wantchu to think i'm a person who listens to korean musik but doesn't understand what the lyrics! haha... not like i always understand the lyrics... heh heh... shoo! even american english lyrics r sometimes hard to decipher!   neway... as a musician, i gotta say that sometimes lyrics rn't that important!   just enjoy musik!   lyrics rn't everything!

2day, i got to werk a li'l late.   my manager was a li'l miffed... i believe that's the right wurd... u know what? heh, crazy! some1 drove a car into our office last nite!!!   a woman was teaching her husband to drive, n' he accidentally plowed their new honda civic into our front door!   now that door is boarded up, n' we gotta enter thru 'nother door.   2day, kaela came to my office 4 lunch.   we didn't have much time, so we got sandwiches from noah's bagels in greenbrae.   my lunch really filled me.

[later] now i'm home.   i've hotsynced my handspring to my 'puter, n' i'm finishing this entry on my home 'puter.   man... i just drove home thru the most beautiful thunderstorm i have ever cn!!!!   prob'ly the biggest t.storm i've cn in the bay area.   it was so beautiful w/ the sunset n' everything!   it was a natural firewerks show... *sigh* n' heh... i hooked up my soundsgood to my car tape deck, n' that was my soundtrack. lemme tell u what was on the soundtrack:

• "trance nation" - ministry of sound (i dunno if that's the song title, artist, dj, or what!)
• "dream" - baek jiyoung featuring j
• "reflections" from disney's mulan (korean version) - lena park
• "i'll fly with you" - gigi d'agostino
• "beet (a.k.a hope)" live mix - h.o.t.
• "lie" (techno remix) - clon
• "again" - janet jackson
• "little fluffy clouds" (dance mix) - the orb
  ok, just 'bout now i was pulling into our carport, but here's the rest of the playlist...
• "somebody" (spiral tribe mix) - depeche mode
• "areumdaoon apeum" - kim minjong
• "yg bounce" (js remix) - y.g. family
• "ggoongddari shyabara" - clon
• "a puro dolor" (salsa version) - son by 4
• "slam (video killed the radio star)" - novasonic
• "id: peace b" - boa

*sigh* i love being able to use my soundsgood mp3 player.   thanks to all those who got it 4 me. :-)   i'm just a frickin', walking advertisement 4 handspring... i know... *sigh*   if only they knew...

well, i came home, i saw frisco, our neighbour scott's cat.   frisco meowed @ me cos it was dark, n' there was bright lightning n' loud thunder.   the exterior apt. lights hadn't kicked in yet.   cute kitty.   he's 2 shy tho'.   *sigh*   kaela n' i r trying to get him to warm up to us... trying!   now i gotta go to practice soon.

yesterday, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to all sorts'a stores to buy on sale foto printer paper.   i also bought handspring visor screen protectors.   i 1st bought a pack @ office depot on gilman in berkeley, then found a cheaper price @ the emeryville officemax, then the cheapest price @ fry's in san jo, the brokaw rd store.   we spent a long time there looking @ all sorts'a things n' gadgets, but my intended purchase was of some rg6 cable 4 the dss system.   *sigh* i think i need ken's experience to help me set this thing up.   after fry's, we went to cluck u.   the guy there took my pic, n' kaela n' i shared 12 atomic wingers.   they weren't spicy all!   however, they were definitely tasty.   then we returned to berkeley 4 a quiet nite @ home; somewhat relaxing except 4 some probs w/ kaela's 'puter.   we really need tu borrow some1's win98 cdrom!!!   we watched snl

as usual these days, i'm writing this journal entry on my handspring visor edge.   i like hand spring!   i worry, tho', that they might be like amd, a corporation w/ a good product but bad marketing.   *sigh* i really want them to survive!   if handspring were to disappear, heaven 4bid, my next handheld'd probably be a sony clié.   they got a lotta kewl built.in features but use those lame sony memory sticks.   i'm writing this journal entry in the office depot parking lot, where i just returned a pack of fellowes handspring screencovers: $10 more than @ fry's!   *sigh* well, it's time to get outta here.   ttyl.

ooh boy, i feel sort'a "spent" right now... in a good way! i came back from this morn's cal taekwondo team sparring werkout.   i really appreciate jason's leading our practices.   i feel i really learn.   we did some sparring n' then lots'a drills on the wavemasters.   i sparred garth 4 the 1st time 2day.   he's pretty good, so he gave me a few ptrs... i needed them.   i really like sparring these days.   i feel so alive this way.   heh, i really could werk on my sparring... i'm not all that great... but i would like to be better.   i know jason's got a lott'a pressure on him to be our team captain until he leaves 4 jeijoodo 4 world championships.

well, last nite i brought the beautiful kaela kang to café rouge to celebrate our 20th monthversary.   it's in west berkeley on 4th street, the yuppie area.   we had a really meat n' potatoes dinner.   andy n' jerome'd be proud!   we started w/ oysters, a variety.   we also had this fig w/ goat cheese salad.   entrés: kaela had this roasted leg of lamb, n' i had ny steak frites... steak n' fries!   that was the best steak n' fries i've had in a long time... hrm.. maybe ever... heh heh... it's weird to think of café rouge in yuppie berkeley to be a great meat n' potatoes place.   i hadn't had steak in a very long time.   4 dessert we had this concord grape granita, a shaved ice kinda thing.   i meant to bring a bottle of gewurztraminer but 4got, so we had a riesling there.   it went well w/ our appetizers, but red meat... red wine... upes! eh! whatever! it was a good meal, n' i was glad to be able to enjoy it w/ kaela.

i bought kaela this card w/ a kitty on it from the gift/book/cd store in the 99 mall.   while i was there i heard some taiwanese rock musik... like alternagrunge stuff.   it was pretty neat.

so 2nite we had the cal taekwondo team tryouts.   i'm 2 far out of skool to compete 4 the cal team... uh... u might say, "2 old."   however, lots'f my friends rn't.   *sigh* it was such an event 2nite, so much fun to watch them spar n' do poomsae 4 the 2001 team trials.   the beautiful kaela kang went thru tryouts.   watching the tryouts made me want to compete, but eh! i dunno when that'd ever happen.   after the tryouts, we 168ed.   we had a big dinner.   now it's 129a on fri.   well, i'll try not to stay up 2 late; i got werk in the morn!

[later] i dled a lot of mp3s last nite.   i love that teknotrance song... i found it listed as "trance nation 2" by ministry of sound, but now i don't think that's the original artist but the remix dj.. dunno.   a coupl'a nites 'go, i dled a bunch'a diff versions of son by 4's "a puro dolor," including a kewl salsa version.   last nite i dled a hiphoppish remix of depeche mode's "somebody."   a while 'go i did dl that snake river conspiracy cover of the smith's "how soon is now?".   so... i have a big variety of musik right now!   in my car's cd deck, i'm listening to lim changjuhng's latest album.   i like how it's a complete album, all continuous, reminiscent of a broadway musikal.

2day is me n' the beautiful kaela kang's 20th monthversary, 2day sept 20.   yup!

last nite we had a good practice.   master yoon was there.   we hadn't cn him in a li'l while.   it was good to c more ppl last nite than on the avg nite in recent days.   i hope all these ppl stay 4 the whole semester.   *sigh* where's paul lee?   he totally disappeared; 2 bad!

[later] so 2day, i drove the beautiful kaela kang's kia to werk, but then i returned to berkeley 4 lunch.   i picked kaela up n' brought her to lunch @ barney's gourment hamburgers.   dang, i wish i had that safeway receipt coupon w/ me... *sigh* we had a big lunch.   i had a carribean tofu burger, kaela had a portobello shroom sandwich, n' we split a full order of seasoned curly fries, which they call "spicy curly fries," altho' they sure as heck ain't spicy!   we so george pierce there... that's his last name, right? the big taekwondo guy; i think he's hapa korean.   apparently, he werks upstairs from barney's.   after lunch, we rushed to pick up my subaru.   ah, it feels good to have everything taken care of by the warranty!   well, i had a bit of an extended lunch, but man... i had a really bizzy werkday!!!

kaela had some skool or werk thing to do 2nite... i thought it was skool stuff, but she was in her lab... i think it was skool stuff.   she stayed on campus.   i came home, napped, n' then went to practice.   ooh man, i was so muddleheaded when i awoke from my nap.   however, this is very reminiscent of 1999 when i was on the sparring team, i guess.   i managed to find a parking spot on durant by tang center.   the streets were frickin' crowded cos of sumpthin' @ zellerbach.   u know, kaela bought us tix to watch stomp! next month.   stomp! sometimes plays @ zellerbach.   neway... i went to practice.   man! i felt so good!   it's not like i'm all the sudden a superstar taekwondo champion, but i felt so "in the zone."   sparring is starting to click 'gain in my head.   k, as i sed... i'm no superstar champion, but it felt like in the matrix when neo starts cing numbers instead of ppl... like things were making sense!   i guess... i guess 1 thing that i've improved is my distancing, getting in when i need to, getting out when i need to...   well, i felt really good @ practice 2nite, n' i feel i'm getting better.   i really appreciate jason leading class like this.   well... me, i gotta handle organising the demo team.   we can really do some kewl stuff this semester, if all goes right.

136p: well, right now i'm @ roadrunner burrito in greenbrae.   i just had an azteca chicken burrito, n' i'm stuffed.   the subaru shop called me while i was eating.   early this morn, i dropped off my forester 4 service.   i asked them to investigate the rattling noise in the rear right wheel, the 1 jerome, laura, sam, n' my mom all noticed.   after i dropped off my car this morn, after i bought some more silver touch up paint from the parts shop, i walked 'cross the street n' bought a dozen doughnut holes n' a bottle of oj while i waited 4 the beautiful kaela kang to come pick me up in her kia.   i sat in happy donuts, n' absrbed the mood, what the place is all 'bout.   doughnuts n' coffee, lotto tix, ham n' cheese croissants, blue collar werkers, moesha on the tv.   i shared the doughnut holes n' oj w/ kaela.   after she drove herself to class, i took her kia to werk.   n' now i've driven it to the bon air shopping center where roadrunner is.   so the subaru shop sez they gotta keep my car 4 'nother day n' repack the bearings, all under warranty.   good, i'm glad i'm using my warranty, i guess.

last nite, after demo team tryouts, i didn't have a big dinner, nope.   i took raymond w/ me to sweetheart café to buy boba 4 me n' kaela.   we went home to find out upn44 'qain altered their simpsons skedule. *sigh* i installed some stuff on my handspring, including a hack that gets rid of auto.capitalisation. woohoo!   kaela got our new foto printer werkin.   it's beautiful.

now i'm in kaela's kia ready to return to werk, to my cubicle life.   i was enjoying the mexican pop musik in roadrunner.   yah, mexican pop... some'd say it sounds nuthin' like mexican musik should, just like american top40 but in spanish.   well, if it's pop n' mexicans listen to it then it's mexican pop, right?   can u categorise musik by its audience?   hrm... well, in many cases, no; but think 'bout how i was allowed to write my music 26 music in american culture paper on the uc berkeley indus south asian annual variety show.   why? cos indian.americans / south asian.americans per4m n' listen to that musik sometimes, n' they r americans 2.   last nite i burned the lena park album onto cd.   i don't like all the tracks as much as i thought i would.   i really like the track "one summer night," an english track.   if u wanted to rip on this track, u'd say it copies lauryn hill, i guess.

it's much colder now.   this morning we had to use the wall heater in our bedroom.   my office is cold.   we should've brought down summer clothes to san jo 4 storage n' brought up winter clothes this past weekend.   i wish i had my long sleeve polo shirts to wear 2day.   why is it so cold?   days r getting shorter.   it's sept, n' stores r marketing halloween merchandise.

so nowadays i c so many usa flags everywhere: on cars, houses, freeway overpasses, etc.   it's different alright.   maybe in recent yrs americans have been much less patriotic than they have been in the past n' less patriotic than ppl in other countries.   u think?   what was america like in 1976, during the bicentennial?   flags n' red/white/blue everywhere, right?   i was 1 yr old.   in recent yrs, have we americans become 2 fascinated w/ trivial things like pop culture, fashion, n' gadget teknology?   have we 4gotten the simple things in life?   has america lost its way?   honestly, i don't think so.   maybe much of the world joined us in adopting a diff attitude after the cold war, a friendlier attitude more focused on moving mankind 4ward... n' making some buck$ doing so.   why should the u.s. have been left behind in a no longer existent cold war?   so what 'bout the resurgence in flags?   have americans in recent yrs been so much less patriotic than ppl in other countries?   if so, maybe it's good 4 us to catch up a li'l.   @ the same time i worry a li'l 'bout this environment fostering a neomccarthyism: r u an american? then where't ur flag? back da #!!@* up, terrorist, b4 i blow ur #!!@*ing head off!   all these stock prices dropped 2day, but gunmaker sturm ruger's stock went up.   on the radio this morn, i heard the patriotic thing to do 2day is to eat out to stimulate the economy.   now there's sumpthin' i definitely can do... if not 2nite, sometime this week.

doesn't it feel like autumn to u?   i feel a bit mellow, i.e. lazy, unmotivated.   that's bad!   really, how r u?   as i write this, i'm listenin' to mp3s on my soundsgood: mostly tracks from lena park's forever; but right now it's janet jackson's old ballad "again."   i wish i felt more energetic... but not nervously energetic; that't no good.   here i am listenin' to shameless pop musik.   @ lunch 2day, i drove to the nearby radio shack to buy coax tv cable.   after that, i went to world wrapps, or whatever it's called, n' got a smoothie.   i thought it'd energise me.   maybe it did.   i brought a healthy choice frozen dinner w/ me to werk.   i ate it as an early evening snack.   my office is 2 cold.   i have an app'tmnt w/ the subaru shop 2morrow morn to check out the weird noise ppl say they hear in the back.   well, that yangpa track i just listened to was so shamelessly pop!   eh! whatchu gonna do?   so much pop musik is just cheesy lovesongs, right?   i don't only listen to songs 'bout love, no.   this mellow lovey dovey stuff goes well w/ my autumn mood.   or is it just that my autumn laziness makes me 2 lazy to think, so i listen to convenient pop musik?   eh, frick, guys! don't overanalyse me.   i've always had some feelings 4 somewhat "pop" musik.   shoot, what do u call the musik i dj?   so hyun sez avaron is closing to make way 4 a better korean club?   it better not be like how cairo evolved into era n' then eventually into nv!

well, i haven't written in a while.   fri, i had the day off.   ha ha, i actually stayed up till 600a the nite b4 cos roland gave me thit arcade game emulator 4 the pc, so i stayed up playing video games.   that's not typical of me.   we had a huge dinner on thurs nite @ katanaya ramen.   i was so full that i couldn't sleep.   we skipped practige on thurs nite.   on fri, i dropped the beautiful kaela kang off @ skool. then i came home n' slept a li'l.   then i cleaned up my car.   i used these armor-all carwash wipes that jay, kaela's bro, gave us, a free sample box.   actually they're not that good.   i also used this single use armor-all sponge on the interior.

on fri nite, i took jerome, laura, n' kaela to dinner @ xanadu to thank 'em 4 helping me dj these recent gigs.   we had an awesome dinner.   mmm...   [upes, interrupted... much later]   afterwards, we were gonna go out w/ bruce since we heard he was going off to nyc to help w/ the search n' rescue.   however, we then heard he was 2 tired to go out.   the 4 of us went to fenton's by ourselves 4 banana splits.   we got free oldies tunes on their jukebox.   then we went to albertson's.   i didn't wanna stay up late cos i planned to attend the taekwondo sparring class sat morn.

well, i did.   i had to find parking.   i 4got the roll of quarters i got from the bank this week, so i looked 4 broken meters.   i couldn't find ne.   so i looked 4 meterless spaces.   soon after cing jerome n' laura cross channing on dana, i found a spot by the church there, not 1st pres, the 1 kitty corner to it.   i went to sparring practice; 'twas good exercise.   i need exercise.   sam lee brought donuts; i had a jelly 1, red berry jelly.   i showered @ the rsf, then drove raymond home.   b4 we left the rsf, all sorts'a ppl made plans to come watch me do the 911 challenge @ cluck u. chicken down @ santa clara university.   wow, so many ppl were comin' down!   well, i dropped off raymond,then went home to pack.   we left b4 330p n' picked up sam lee.   he wanted to go to milpitas w/ us.   he had a dentist appointment there n' wanted to talk to ken 'bout new cell fons.   we dropped him off @ the dentist office.   'twas very close to ken's store.   then we bought carl's jr. n' brought it to ken's store to eat.   sam's app'tmnt was delayed so i picked him up to wait @ ken's.   then i dropped him off 'gain.   when he was done, i picked him up.   then soon we went to cluck u. to join jason's carload n' mike shea there.

they were hungrily waiting our arrival.   we still were waiting 4 jerome's carload, ken/grace, n' nelson.   jason's carload went ahead n' ordered.   many of them r trying to cut weight 4 collegiates, so they ordered salads.   well, then mike n' i ordered our 911s right b4 the rest of the ppl showed up.

wow, what a crowd!   who came? jason, darlene, mikey (sia), deanna, mike shea, sam lee, jerome, laura, andy, roland, raymond, ken, grace, nelson, mike yee, his friend eric, kaela, n' me.   wow! 18 ppl!   well, mike n' i took on the challenge! 12 of their spiciest wings in a habanero powder sauce, 10 mins to finish w/o drinks or napkins, n' 5 more mins afterwards w/o drinks.   ugh! it wasn't easy, but we gave it our all!   mike got thru 3 wings.   i finished all 12!   kaela captured the battle on her elph camera.   even strangers took pics of me.   ooh! my face was burning! this stranger bought me a beer.   the manager sed they were out of winner t-shirts n' polaroid film 4 the winner shots, so i'd hafta come back either sun or mon.   we hung 'round.   mike shea was having a hard time, n' soon so was i.   ugh! so much fud! so much habanero powder!   nelson n' ken took me to the bathroom to puke some of it out.   we hung 'round some more, n' nelson n' kaela went into safeway to buy me some stomach medicine, more than the maalox antacid n' pepto kaela brought.   after i took a zantac, i had to go puke some more in the toilet.   when i puked my eyes n' nose would burn.   ooh boy!   what a nite!   well... after loitering a long time, most of the berkeley taekwondo crew went to dave n' buster's in milpitas, but kaela brought me home to rest n' recover.   i spent most of the nite w/ periodic stomach pain.   i fell asleep but then'd wake up to stomach pain.   maybe this kind of pain is similar to giving birth?   ah, well, if i say that i'll get in trouble w/ all the women, 'specially ne muthas.   eventually, i fell asleep sitting up.   i woke up on sun morning, having slid down to a lying down position.   i felt so much better tho'!   i think the best remedy was tagaet hb 200 w/ lotsa water.   earlier, i avoided water cos i threw up after the zantac n' lotsa water.   phew, neway... i felt fine on sun morn...

kaela started our day.   we ate some el pollo loco leftovers we found in the fridge.   wow, lots'a chicken this weekend. ha ha ha.   then after we watched some tv 'bout the terrorist attacks, i went to ken's milpitas store to pick up our new hp photosmart 1215 photo printer.   ken's friend got us a kewl deal cos he's a hp wholesaler.   it was much cheaper than ne price i've cn.   on sat, ken also got us a dss system... the kind that gets all the channels 4 free... shhhh!   (don'tchu dare quote me on that cos i didn't say that.)   i sat 'round ken's store w/ ken n' grace n' watched the horror movie valentine.   'twas cheesy but fun.   then i went back home.   oh yah, i started writing this entry on my handspring @ ken's store.

well, i went home, n' we packed to go.   we drove my mom w/ us out to santa clara.   we 1st stopped to get my t.shirt n' pic, but that manager wasn't there.   then we met up w/ steve n' grace @ chinastix restaurant on el camino.   i've djed some chinese weddings there.   we had a nice dinner.   kaela n' i gave steve his belated b.day present, a crabtree n' evelyn men's grooming kit.   we've had it since july, b4 his b.day.   grace n' steve gave me a tabasco t.shirt they got from louisiana.   ha! they didn't know how appropriate it was after last nite... so i told them the story, n' kaela showed them pics on her elph.   then we went back to berkeley.   kaela n' i stopped by cluck u. 1 more time to check 4 the "big" guy.   that's what i call him; his cowerkers call him the "fat" guy.   he still wasn't there, but i had left him my name n' number earlier.   i have theirs.   i drove back up to berkeley but stopped in milpitas to get gas.   it was much colder now.   we got to berkeley n' unpacked our new teknogoodies.   i'll hafta get some coax cable 2morrow to finish installing the dss.   now it's 132a on mon morn... so this ought to be a new entry... upes!   well, it's been a crazy weekend.

'gain special thanks to the crew that showed up to support us @ cluck u.   much thanks! much love!   *sigh* it's so ironic, cos the 1st time i went to cluck u., u know who was w/ me? phil... that's good, but also... josh... ironic, huh?   also, josh showed up to the sat sparring practice, like 1.5 hrs late... but he showed up.   *sigh* i dont' get why, but he came, didn't werk out, but just like... ugh... hung 'round. neway, we won't talk 'bout it... alright... i took a nap when i got home 2nite, but it's time to sleep 4 real now.   good nite!

i woke up really refreshed this morning.   that surprised me.   on the radio (95.7), ppl were calling in to tell ever1 to display / fly u.s. flags 2day.   i saw similar e.mails n' others 'bout lighting candles 2morrow.   bruce (brandie's bf) is a firefighter, as many of u know.   he's being flown out to nyc to help w/ the search n' rescue.   we should support him neway we can.   i wonder if linda's going 2.   sam sa's in the army reserve.   i talked to him yesterpay; he was in a pretty serious mood, not that he's usually all that much of a jester... but he sounded intensely motivated.

i don't have a u.s. flag to fly.   does that make me less of an american?   well, one good thing 'bout this country is that i have a right not to fly a flag even if every1 else is doing it.   ain't enjoying freedom part of "the american way."   of course, it's nice that some ppl r showing off flags.   i think many americans have recently adopted much more "patriotic" n' nationalistic behaviour than what they normally show.   it's a somewhat diff atmosphere, 'least a li'l diff.   is this the "american way" some ppl'd say we lost.   well, i think a few more star spangled banners here n' there ain't a bad thing, nope.   however @ this time i very much fear 4 arab.americans.   i know our country has more than its share of ignoramuses who'll express misdirected hate n' even agression 2wards arab.americans.   *sigh* this is just as wrong as when the ignoramuses among us in our country to expressed hate 2wards asian.americans during the u.s. spy plane in china incident... or when the u.s. auto industry had less success than japan's.   when i hear fellow asian.americans ignorantly bashing the arab race n/or practitionert of the islamic religion, it disturbs me.   i sed in bjunkyard:

it's a simple "ppl in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" issue, 'cept every1 lives in his or her own glass house.

it does frustrate me 2,tho', that the u.s. can't exact revenge.   i'm now not unfamiliar w/ this feeling that our country needs to wage war 'gainst some1 to "resolve" this matter.   where is justice?!   does justice require spilt blood?   who was behind this attack?   how can we punish the hijackers when they're already dead?   what if osama bin laden masterminded this attack?   will killinq him provide justice 4 all those american deaths?   if so, would we be implying his life is worth all those americans' lives added up? even if we capture him n' inhumanely torture him, would that be equal revenge?   some american simply cm to want retaliatory bloodshed.   must we declare war on 'nother country?   should we declare war on afghanistan?   no, the country didn't order this attack, altho' bin laden might live there.   what if afghanistan just hands over bin laden?   we'd have no need 4 war.   isn't that a good thing?!   what to do?   just as dr. min always sez, "it's easier to storm a castle than defend it."

i just saw a cnn poll that sez most ppl; given the choices of shock, sorrow, n' anger; feel anger.   i voted 4 anger, but i really feel more frustration.

let's say u'r a guy, n' 'nother guy just came up n' kicked u in the balls.   to get revenge, u could kick him in the balls right back.   but what if these freak liked gettin' kicked in the balls? now what?!   maybe all u want is a sincere apology.   this not.so.good parallel reminds me of the story of qiujiu, the movie.

[much later] 2 nite i skipped practice to let my body rest n' heal.   i took the beautiful kaela kang to dinner @ katana.ya.   she ordered a spider roll set.   i ordered a chicken katsu curry set n' a snake roll to split.   ugh! why do i such things?! way 2 much fud!!! what was i trying to prove?! i got so full.   i'm still so full. *sigh* i feel i ate 'nuff 4 a family.   we did bring home some leftover sushi.   katana.ya's a good, somewhat simple japanese restaurant.

*sigh* well, 2day was the day after the kamikaze plane terrorist attacks.   i have a sore throat.   we had a company mtg 2day.   we ate pizza n' cake.   i used my habanero hot sauce on my pizza.

'twas a tiring day.   it feels like winter now.   it's 2 cold.   [later, after taekwondo practice] i didn't have much time to write 2day, i guess.   shoot, it's actually 138a on 2001.09.13... frick, this ought to be a new entry. *sigh* neway, i was pretty bizzy n' unmotivated to write 2day.   my throat's been sore, but i think the main reason i didn't write still is that i was really bizzy w/ werk.   i've been writing all my journal entries n' most my e.mail on my handspring lately cos i still can't access the ocf unix server.   i think it's good tho'.   we need to save electricity.   our electricity was pretty expensive this month. *sigh*

so last nite, i tried to keep the demo team mtg short n' sweet.   the beautiful kaela kang felt sick, so roland drove her home, since he had to go home neway.   practice was good.   i got to spar after a long break from sparring.   after practice i got my cds n' dj lites back from jerome.   he's had them in his car since andy't bro's wedding, i guess.   then i drove raymond home.   after that, i tried to gas up my car @ the shell stn on the alameda, but 'twas closed.   *sigh* so i drove down solano.   i knew i'd c the 76 station 1st but worried it'd be closed.   the chevron stn'd be my backup, right?   isn't that stn still there?   neway, @ least the arco on marin'd be open, right?   well, lo n' behold, the 76 was open.   i filled up.   then i went home.

kaela was asleep.   i brought the dj stuff upstairs.   i was hungry.   kaela soon woke up.   wow, 'twas already simpsons time.   earlier @ the rsf, roland gave me a video game cdrom, i brought it upstairt to try, but i didn't get to try it yet.   i prepared a spinach salad n' frozen cpk pizza 4 dinner.   since that didn't fill us, i also microwaved some vegetarian mini corndogs. yum! i ate everything w/ lots'a afterdeath sauce.

i think i just boredju all w/ lotsa unnecessary details.   hey, u know i wrote this n' yesterday's entries on my handspring, right?   u can tell if i used a pc or my handspring by analysing my typo.   i figure i have many good reasons to use my handspring 4 writing journal entries n' emails.   these include:

• 1. i save electricity, n'
• 2. i can sit newhere.

well, i still haven't toldju 'bout the most interesting thing that happened to me yesterday!   ny times columnist pam o'connell contacted me 4 an article 'bout "asian.american panethnic solidarity."   well, we gotta all check it out when it's published!

btw, it's now 225a.   *sigh* yah, i should sleep... 'member the magazine details.   it's still 'round, isn't it?!   i dunno.   i don't hear 'bout it as much.   i hear more 'bout maxim.   all details, that the name of the uhm juhnghwa compilation cd that i burned from mp3, huh?   i 4got the name, so on the cd, i just wrote "uhm juhnghwa best" or sumpthin'...

a date which will live in infamy

2001.09.11: 2day terrorists attacked the u.s. by hijacking civilian airline jets n' crashing them into important u.s. buildings: the pentagon n' the world trade center twin towers.   it's really a bad day.   all the death, all the destruction, so unnecessary!

i was already having a bad morning when i heard the news from my mom.   i woke up late 4 werk from a nite of li'l sleep.   my right leg has shinsplints, my left foot's arch hurts from standing poorly @ the mall on sat, my throat felt sickly sore, n' my neck ached. *sigh* i felt miserable @ werk 2day.

well, i still can't login to the ocf unix server.   i need more snacks in my cubie.   can i call my cubicle that? "my cubie"?   so ken wants me to do the 911 @ cluck u chicken.   that't where u eat 9 of their spiciest spicy buffalo wings n' then getchur pic on the wall or sumpthin'.   these wings r supposedly much spicier than nething they got on their normal menu, n' their specialty is spicy wings. *sigh* well, sure; just tell me when!   ken proposes this weekend.   we'll c.

well, this morn, b4 i left 2 werk, i microwaved 2 hotdogs 4 breakfast.   i added grey poupon honey mustard; then i was gonna put a li'l afterdeath sauce, that american hot sauce that jerome got me from japan.   upes! i dumped a whole bunch on! uh-oh... but wait! i'm beno hwang! i eat stuff like that 4 breakfast!!!   "well, get to it then," i told myself.   w/ that n' a few swigs of o.j., i got down to bizness n' downed the 2 hot hotdogs!   i split the spilled hot sauce btwn the 2 hotdogs.   i ate them swiftly but w/ ample patience to avoid indigestion... as eating 2 quickly can give me a stomach ache.   well, i didn't want to be late 4 werk.   w/ a burning mouth n' a can of barq's rootbeer from the fridge, i went down to the car, got in, n' started the engine.

then i saw a mysterious, li'l tupperware sittin' in the cardboard box in which i contain my cds.   uh.oh! 'twas the beautiful kaela kang's pcr tubes of mice blood samples from last nite!   upes! well, they were still cold, floating in melted ice, aka water.   i shut off the car n' rushed the samples up to the fridge. phew!

last fri, kaela bought us tahoe cards.   snowboarding!   that n' gaining an hour @ the end of daylight savings time r the only good things 'bout summer ending.   *siqh* can u believe that?   it'll be fall soon! sweaters, jackets, shorter days, warmer meals, more studying (4 the students, that is)... *sigh* crazy, huh?

i didn't mention that my last entry was entirely written on my handspring.   i've been having probs telneting in to ocf's unix servers.   weird!   so i've been ftping my journal file back n' forth n' editing it on the beautiful kaela kang's 'puter, as in last time's case or my 'puter, in this case.   i can cut n' paste my handspring memo file into this html doc.   well, this werks, but i'd prefer to have more options, including telneting in as usual n' editing on their unix servers.   oh well... teknical difficulties!

so we've had a fun weekend.   on fri... well, ugh, the day was very hard, even tho i didn't werk.   *sigh* i had probs picking her up from tolman cos she was in some mtg 4 an hr longer than she expected n' didn't check her fon 4 missed calls.   *sigh* oh well... when i finally found her, she bought me lunch @ tacqueria cancun, n' i really liked my lunch.   now i notice that the decor is very reminiscent of cancun.   now i c.   i really like their xxhot salsa n' their avocado salsa... n' all their fruit salsas, i guess...   their cucumber salsa is also good cos it's surprisingly pretty hot.   well, i spent the rest of the fri cleaning up the apt a li'l, altho' it wasn't nuff, n' fixing up things on my 'puter, such as the handspring software.   also i dled mp3s.   is that not a good way to spend a fri?   yah, i wish i could'a been outside more or even have gone to the humane society or to the rsf to werkout... *sigh*

well, when kaela finally came home from werk @ 830p or so... after i picked her up, n' we came home n' packed, we left 4 milpitas, to david n' buster's.   ken n' i were s'pposed to have a thing w/ nelson there, a li'l get 2gether... but it didn't werk out cos nelson sed he had some ol' ucsd friends in town 4 the weekend, n' they wanted to hang in sf cos they had some wedding in sf to go to the next day.   neway, darlene, deanna, mikey, micah, karen, n' darlene's friend jay were already going to david n' buster's, so we joined them there.   kaela n' i got there just in time to sit down w/ them @ the table n' order fud.   we felt a li'l guilty cos we knew they had already been there 4 a while waiting 4 that table, so we sorta got it easy.   we ordered some fud then ken yamaguchi n' his date christine showed up.   after eating (i had a spicy chicken wrapper, not spicy, but ok in taste.   kaela had a shiitake shroom chipotle quesadilla.), we played games.   we saw ken n' christine playing some froggy game.   the couple next to them had explained to them how this game paid off big.   we saw how that couple had tons of tix.   well, after ken n' christine gave up trying 4 the jackpot (set @ 500 tix or more, min of 500), kaela n' i sat down to give that machine a try.   so it's a frogger style game.   u have a frog that jumps from lilypad to lilypad on a moving river, but u gotta reach the otherside b4 u fall over the waterfall.   u win tix 4 every successful jump, but if u reach the end u get 500 tix in addition to some small, extra progressive amt.   wow, i actually got the hang of the game, n' we won 6060 tix!!!!   the couple next to us had 60,000 tix when we 1st started talking to them, but they were aiming 4 86,000 to win a jukebox!   can u believe that?!   we left b4 they finished, but i bet they got it, altho' they prob'ly spent 'bout $200 to get to that pt, i bet; maybe a li'l less.   hi payoffs! but after a while, the fun cos sorta disappear, then u gotta take a break.   well, what did we buy w/ all those tix?!   we got a nice coffee grinder n' a huge stuffed pikachu.   ha ha.   we have some 860 tix left still.   well, ppl had fun.   kaela n' i were glad we were only driving home to san jo, to my mom's house, n' not all the way back to berkeley like the others.

well, sat... we woke up kind'a late n' snacked on random fud in the house.   then we finally got out of the house.   1st, we went to fry's to buy 2 128mb compact flash cards ($59 each) 4 kaela's elph.   then we went to valley fair.   kaela had a $15 coupon 4 express.   we spent a long time there looking 4 jeans.   i noticed that they let this young guy werk the fitting rooms.   right away, i thought, "frick! why doesn't nelson get a job like that?!?!   he's not werking right now, n' he really cms to want to get w/ a gurl or gurls so badly! why not?!?!?!"   i'm so surprised they let a guy werk a position like that @ a store like express.   maybe he's gay, i thought.   or what if he pretended to be gay just so he could get a position where he might get a chance to catch a glimpse of not fully dressed women... n' he had to keep up the act if he wanted to keep getting those opportunities. ha ha ha.   well, after kaela spent quite a while finding just what she wanted @ express, i went to kenneth cole n' got a shirt.   we tried to get home as soon as we could.   then we packed up.   my mom n' us, we took 2 cars n' drove to mandarin gourmet on santa teresa by blossom hill, by oakridge mall.   personally, since now we've got the cupertino 99 n' milpitas 99 malls 'round, i think there r many better chinese restaurants, but i haven't been to this style of chinese restaurant in a while, n' we didn't have much time @ all.   there r many diff kinds of chinese restaurants.   well, after dinner, kaela n' i rushed back to berkeley.   1st, she cut my hair really quickly.   she was fast, but she did a good job.   she does a much better job than she realises.   she thinks that since i'm always cleaning up the cut w/ the clippers myself afterwards, that i don't like the cut.   it's not that @ all! it's just she misses a few hairs here n' there, so since my eyes r better, i can c those stray hairs, n' i cut them off.   well, we hurriedly n' efficiently got ready 4 avaron.   kaela looked really hot! i like it.   we picked up roland.   originally, we were gonna pick up kaela's friend cynthia n' her friend, but cynthia's sprint fon didn't get her the voicemail in time.   man... ppl gotta stop using sprint pcs!   well, the 3 of us hurried off to sf after a coupl'a visits to banks.   there was an accident on the bridge n' that really delayed us.   we finally got there n' got decent parking.   wow... we've had good luck w/ parking lately!   i like it n' am very thankful, i say!   man, i had such a good time @ avaron!   k... like ken sorta teased me 4 going clubbing that nite, earlier.   he asked, 'how old r u?! why wouldju go clubbing? r u there to pick up on chicks?!'   i told him, no, i just go w/ friends 1nce in a while, n' it's a fun time... it's a li'l diff from when i was blatantly single n' me n' supermike went clubbing every weekend practically... then, it was diff!   we were more "night at the roxbury"ish. ha ha.   well... not that bad!   i never considered clubbing a real "pick up" activity.   u guys know i love clubbing musik n' to some extent hip hop musik!   i love djing, i love musik, i love dancing... it's why chals recommended i go to raves instead of clubs cos they're supposedly less of a "pick up scene" n' more 'bout the musik.   well, i like trance, but like... i think i still prefer clubbing tekno house musik... usually... i'm obviously not @ the club to pick up on gurls these days, but it's fun to go w/ kaela.   it's ok to go clubbing as a couple!   well... heh heh... @ 1 pt in the nite, kaela went to the bathroom, n' i walked w/ her there n' then waited.   she came out of the bathroom w/ karen, so i thought, "oh, maybe i didn't need to accompany her."   then as we walked back to our group, a waiter grabbed her by the wrist to drag her to a booking (korean matchmaking thing) n' i had to stop the waiter. ha ha ha. ("jamkkanman!!! nae yuhjachingu iya!")   he was really apologetic.   neway, didn't he realise he was dragging her to a table, while she was still holding my hand?!?!?! what would those guys have thought when we got to the table?!   ha ha ha! well, we had a nice, big group... n' jerome really hooked us up by having this kewl setup w/ kkambo: all the guys n' some of the gurls got a v.i.p. room, while a few of the gurls got to sit @ a "free" table outside since they were s'pposedly all single gurls available 4 booking.   this really lowered our co$ts!   u guys know that korean clubbing usually is pretty expen$ive, right?   who was there? well, i hope i don't 4get ne1 in listing us off: jerome, laura, laura's sis alice, alice's friend liz, jerome's cafe.berkeley.edu cowerker jeannie, her friends kathy n' jennifer, leo, nancy, peter park (bronx), sam lee, romy, pam, tiffany, young, karen wan, roland, kaela, n' me.   now, from bjunkyard.com, a bunch'f us know hyun, a.k.a dj krazy joe, 1 of the avaron djs.   he looks just like joe tseng.   well, if i didn't know hyun, i prob'ly wouldn't think he's korean on 1st glance, looks 2 much like joe tseng, ha ha. &nbap; it was kewl to meet him in person now tho'...   well, peter didn't meet ne gurls on the dancefloor this time unlike last time, but eh! honestly, i think some of the gurls that came w/ us prob'ly had some good opinions of him.   hey, he's a really good, nice guy, n' i'm sure the gurls think he's cute.   n' he's not boring! he's fun n' interesting.   so hey! give this guy a gurl n' give him a job! well, we had such a good time @ avaron, i think... then we went to j.town denny's, some of us.   man, we got some good pix from kaela's elph, n' some .avi footage!   i can't wait to show them to u!   heh heh... i always say that...   well, we had fun @ denny's cos our waiter javier was a bit of a goofball.   he was really nice 2; he was late w/ kaela's sprite, so he made it "on the house."   that's good service, i say.

well... *sigh* 2day's sun... it's already almost 300p, but kaela's still asleep.   what can we do 2day?   well, kaela's got hw to do.   me, i'm gonna try to rest as much as i can... psychologically.   cos i know i got demo team biz to organise, n' i wanna clear my mind n' focus on that.   hrm... i should try to get some exercise 2day 2, if i can... ooh! but my left foot's arch really hurts!   it's from standing 'round in the mall yesterday 2 much.   i guess i used bad posture or sumpthin... *sigh*

[later] i'm in the animal facility again w/ kaela.   she had some werk to do, so i tagged along.   hey, i wonder how man of u knew to check this entry again if u checked it earlier 2day.   u should know i tend to add to my enries like this.   hrm... there's something i always mean to write 'bout here, but i keep 4getting.   *sigh* sometimes i worry that i'm not smart enuf.   hrm, was i smarter b4?   dunno.   2day was s'pposed to be a relaxing day, it was.   i just worried it was 2 relaxing.   *sigh* as i always do on "relaxing" days like 2day, i worried i wat being 2 lazy n' lethargic. *sigh* last nite was fun, altho' yesterday's skedule was a bit hectic.   ha! 'member how i always used to ask if my life is 2 hectic or not hectic 'nuff? *sigh* well, i'm glad i rested 2day.   i observed the sabbath!   heh heh. i just thought 'bout how my mom sed her boss plays jazz on cruise ships.   i guess he doet that in his "spare" time.   that's like my djing, right?   what if i could convince hyun to held me get a dj gig @ avaron?   heh! would that be 2 much pressure?   shoot, it's right up my alley actually.   but man, if i had a regular dj gig, like a weekly gig, that'd be way 2 hectic, right?   already my 2nd career is taekwondo, right?   *sigh* but avaron style djing is just my thing.   they even use pioneer cd turntables, so i don't hafta deal w/ bozos that think u can only mix w/ vinyl!   all that lame-@$$ crap that djs only use technics 1200s!   "can u mix w/ cds?"   all that crap!

well, yesterday's journal entry was cut really short due to technical difficulties w/ the ocf unix server.   urgh! i'm pretty sleepy right now.   due to more technical difficulties w/ ocf, i'm actually writing this entry on my handspring.   yesterday, @ lunch, after eating a great mexican lunch @ a place in san rafael called la huasteca, i went to compusa to return that lame "pda starter kit."   i got all m $$$ back. kewl.   u know, right now compusa has free 8mb compact flash ram after rebate!   'course, they're out of stock! tsss...

[later] *sigh* so last nite, i went to cal taekwondu (sparring) team practice.   i felt a li'l out of shape.   c, master yoon is requiring all demo team members to go to sparring team practices.   yah, this semester'll be a li'l diff.   sam isn't gonna do demo team nemore, but i did just find out he'll compete in poomsae for this yr's collegiates in texas.   well, i sure hope to get into shape this semester.   it's neat cing anthony doe back @ taekwondo.   i like cing old friends come back.   i'd like paul lee to come back 2.   *sigh* i realise i'm heading 2wards the age that guys like ron salvador, rick vierra, n' jason dreiss-daffner were when i was in college... hrm... that'd be when i was like jerome's age now, huh?   hrm... in that case, i don't think i'm quite @ that age yet, am i?   well, i'm still gonna try... try to be good @ taekwondo, try to be in shape... well, back in1999, i went to sparring practice every nite, when i was on team...

the beautiful kaela kangdidn't go to practice cos she fell asleep.   after practice, i quickly left cos i thought she'd be eager to eat dinner.   i had to stop by touchless to buy gas.   i had a li'l credit card trouble there, n' the fillup took a while.   then i got home n' found kaela still asleep.   i was very surprised.   i waited 4 her to wake up.   i installed palm desktop 4.01 on my 'puter.   i hotsynced my handspring to my own 'puter 4 the 1st time.   then kaela woke up n' told me we needed eggs 4 hobak twigim, fried squash.   we went out.   1st, we went to the campus "animal facility" lab.   kaela wanted to show me the animals she werks w/.   we saw diff mice n' 1 kangaroo rat.   then we went to northside safeway.   i was so sleepy, but kaela cooked some very good hobak.   i stayed up 2late...

i brought some random korean fud odds n' ends 4 lunch 2day: rice, gochujang, hobak / egg, jangjorim w/ 1 quail egg, kimchi... some kimchi juice went down the wrong pipe as i overhurriedly ate.   it burned!

i really liked yesterday's mexican restaurant, rather authentic.   i think the cashier was pleasantly surprised that a nonmexican ordered horchata to drink.   u know, i have lotsa respect 4 mexican culture. ha, if i heard a nonasian guy say,"i have lots'a respect 4 asian culture," i'd find it a li'l patronising... haha, just my honest opinion.

so i never got to elaborate 'bout more of me n' phil's dialog 'bout asian "pop" culture... he sez it's dumb 4 asian kids to want all asians to listen to the same musik... no, i agree; it is dumb!   i c kids that listen to asian musik cos they wanna exploit asian culture as the "kewl" thing to do. yah, that's lame... u know, asian pop musik doesn't always imitate american pop musik.   some asian musik is way 2 cutesy 4 american tastes, n' it's that way on purpose... i guess that's an authentic asian style.   'bout pop musik in general: yah, often u have singers singing songs written by other ppl.   yah, that's not as kewl as the concept of a singer/songwriter, but it's bound to happen.   classical musicians per4m n' record other ppl's compositions all the time.

k, if i should listen to musik similar to musik i'd want to per4m, i need to define what kind of musik i'd want to play.   actually, i've already answered this in a bjunkyard thread.   actually, it's not that serious of a question, i.e. i'd wanna play what's fun to play!   that's how i c it, as a musician.   sure, i'd wanna be an expressive artist, but if it ain't fun, then why would i do it?   obviously, i don't want to be in an n'sync / sechkies kind of group nor a rap group... not really... but i still really like rap/hiphop as sumpthin' to listen to n' remix as a dj... u know, phil, as a musician, i don't necessarily want to listen to the kind of musik i'd play.   really!   4 example, i like playing classical musik more than i like listening to it.   really!   to some extent, jazz 2.   if i got to have a "dream" band, it'd be guitar-based.   i'd have 2 guitarits: rhythm n' lead.   that's typical.   what'd be a li'l atypilal is that i'd want 2 bass guitarists 2 sometimes, like the cure sometimes has.   6-string bass/baritone guitar!   drums could be replaced by computers / drum machine, i don't mind... maybe just some of the time.   as u c, i'd want variety!   i'd want a male n' a female singer, but the singers'd preferably also play instruments; n' tambourines don't count!   n' they'd only sing in korean, taiwanese, french, n' spanish!   ha ha ha!!!   ok, maybe i'm goin' a li'l overboard there, eh?   heh heh... don't 4get: i'm the guy who sez everybody should have a list of exactly what they want in a mate!

well, phil n' i have continued our conversation 'bout "pop" musik n' asian pop / "pop" musik.   while on this topik, lemme show u a y! news article that was on my my y! front page: "posh spice says she can really sing."   hahaha. didju read it? can u believe the audience actually threw fruits n' veggies?! wow...   neway, phil continues to say that asian pop musik (pop musik, in this case, meaning britney / n'sync stuff) is no less worse than american pop musik.   that's right.   n' it's really bad to a pt that i don't think phil even realises.   if u think the american pop musik industry is superficial n' image conscious, whoa, i think the asian pop musik industry is 10 times worse.   variety shows w/ groups lipsyncing n' dancing?! ooh, man... america hasn't cn so much of this kind'a stuff in decades! we haven't cn solid gold in a long time...

phil made some pts that i really agree w/.   asian.americans should be more concerned w/ supporting asian.american artists than imitating asian youths n' gawking over asian pop stars.   very true.   somewhere, prob'ly on bjunkyard, i sed this:

1 thing i'm starting to really resent is the "i'm more asian than u" philosophy that we're finding 2 often 'mongst asian.americans... perhaps we can called it the "more asian than thou" attitude... yah, it's detrimental to us as a community.

while driving up from socal yesterday, i thought of a title 4 this journal entry, but i can't remember it @ the moment.   my right wrist really hurts from using the computer 2 much...

[later] i still can't remember the title that i thought up.   oh well...   so how was ur weekend?   ours? well, we drove 'lot.   we drove down to socal on fri afternoon.   we left much later than we originally planned to cos i had so much trouble doing all the mp3 stuff, dling it all, converting it all to wav, n' burning it all.   grrr!   such a simple thing, but modem dialup isn't fast 'nuff.   *sigh* if only dsl were cheaper!   well, we left the apartment, like, @ 400p, i believe.   we had tons of traffic on 580e 'round pleasanton.   jerome, laura, n' alice came by much earlier to pick up some of my dj stuff, then they left way ahead of us.   the beautiful kaela kang drove 1st, then we switched after getting on the 5 4 a bit, @ the 1st rest stop.   then we stopped 'gain in santa nella 4 dinner @ andersen's pea soup.   i had a ham n' turkey sandwich on wheat.   hrm... even tho' i enjoyed it, i realised it was very simple, sumpthin' i could'a made @ home very easily, 4 very cheap.   oh well.   after dinner, i continued driving down the 5 the rest of the way.   i stayed awake ok.   kaela conversed w/ me 'bout life, 'specially our earlier lives / our previous relationships.   i don't think much 'bout when i was w/ vivian.   it all cms so long 'go.   i'm 26 now.   when that ended, i was 23.   hrm, that doesn't cm that long 'go.   well, i was barely 23.   when it started, i was only 'bout to turn 21.   now doesn't that cm like a long time 'go?   wait a sec... joon's a jr now, huh? hrm... i was just thinking who's that age now... i guess that'd be jerome.   that cms like such a "past" life.   neway... we cruised down to chino w/o ne1 falling asleep in the car.   on the way down, i reflected on all the times i drove down the 5.   most of those times were to go visit nelson @ ucsd.   neway, we got to kaela's family's house, but her parents were already asleep.   we were pretty tired, n' we pretty much went straight to sleep.

we were able to wake up "early" the next morning.   "early"'s relative.   i'm just used to waking up so late when we're in chino.   well, i knew i had stuff to do to prepare 4 andy's bro's wedding.   after eating n' contacting jerome n' andy, we went to brea mall.   i had a $15 structure coupon to use n' kaela had a crabtree & evelyn coupon to use.   also, i had to buy a microphone stand n' some musik 4 the wedding.   well, we bought the stuff, n' rushed to get out of there.   then we stopped by tower records cos i needed a recording by andre campra.   grr!!! i couldn't find it! apparently, it's out of print.   also, andy n' his bro had already left andy's bro's home in l.a. 4 the wedding site in alta loma (by rancho cucamonga, by ontario).   *sigh* i was really frustrated.   well, we rushed home to get changed 4 the wedding.

ok, so we changed n' left to go meet up w/ jerome n' laura @ the dj shop.   we got on hwy 60 n' exited on archibald, altho' the dj shop was on archibald off hwy 10 (or "the 10").   we took archibald north to get there, but then we realise that archibald was cut off cos of ontario airport.   well, i made a u.turn... a big, wide u.turn, n' i swerved off the road to make the turn.   aaaugh!   kaela's kia sportage (non 4x4) got stuck in the sand!   oh boy... if we weren't in 'nuff trouble already by running late, now we just made it 867 times worse!   i tried all sorts'f things to get the rear tires out of the sand.   b4 that day, i didn't realise that the sportage is rear wheel drive; i had assumed it was front wheel drive.   maybe that's why it feels diff.   kaela called up the kia 24hr roadside assistance but was put on hold.   then a very, very nice, christian young couple came by w/ their 4x4 truck n' offered to pull us out w/ their tow strap.   maybe anti.religious ppl'll say this was just an act of evangelical ministry n' scoff @ it, but so what?! they were very nice, very generous ppl.   they were obviously religious... not that they preached, but by their license plate holder n' some things they sed.   i really appreciated their help.   i told them we were late 4 a wedding, so they quickly sent us off on our way.   while we were stuck, andy did call, n' i told him how we were stuck.   then kaela called jerome n' told him how we were stuck n' asked him to bring the audio equipment over to the wedding.   then, haha, nelson called just to c what's up, but uh... it wasn't really a good time to chitchat.   i want to hang out w/ nelson, but he didn't realise we were down in socal 4 the wedding.   well... *sigh* we got out of the sand, n' we headed off to the wedding.   i was covered in dust!

we got there late to set up, but almost right on time 4 the actual event... but uh... that's not good cos we should've been set up...   well, we did it, we set up.   then i realised that even tho' they knew i didn't have the andre campra recording, i also didn't have ne suitable replacement... no classical musik w/ me.   *sigh* it was never really clear to me that i was djing a wedding, not just a wedding reception.   i kept hearing that they already eloped n' r married, but this was just a formality, n' i kept thinking of it as just a reception.   i also assumed, they'd have some other musik 4 the actual ceremony...   i had never djed an actual ceremony, u know?   well, this 1 was in andy's family's friend's big house's backyard.   it was really nice, beautiful.   4 the procession, i agreed w/ andy's bro to play luis armstrong's "what a wonderful world."   n' 4 the recessional, i played... uh... i think it was "when i fall in love," yah... uh... natalie king cole version.   that was laura's suggestion, n' it werked out.   well, laura n' jerome went off to buy a copy of green day's "time of your life," cos i didn't get it, thinking that jerome had the mp3.   he went off to do that.   andy hung out w/ kaela n' me.   we got to eat.   mmmm... it was very good chinese fud, mostly seafud.   i heard the catering company was actually korean.   well, it was really good.   well, i played musik, did my thing.   it was very diff from most wedding receptions i dj.   there was a strong focus on playing particular songs; i didn't really hafta mix much.   it's really not the kind of djing i usually, do but eh! sometimes that happens @ weddings.   c, andy's bro had a website up 4 the wedding, n' he had a script that let guests request songs on the page.   ppl really wanted to hear their requests.   well, i'm glad i found audiogalaxy thanks to jerome.   *sigh* well, jerome helped me out a lot w/ dling mp3s.   well, the reception ended w/ our playing "time of your life."   if i had remembered it was a semi.slow song, i would've lowered the tempo, but i didn't realise that.   during the 2nd to last song, i slow danced w/ kaela.   i cued up "time of your life" n' let jerome start it up.   well, that was the wedding reception!

we started to clean up n' played some mellow musik as the guests either got ready to leave or just hung 'round talking.   then we realised that kaela was missing her car key!!!!! man! we had the stuck.in.the.sand prob, now this?!   oh man... we searched all over the ground 4 the key.   finally, kaela found it out in the street by her car.   apparently, her keychain broke, n' the key fell off.   thank goodness 'twas a nicer neighbourhood!   phew...   neway, we packed up n' got ready to go, but we couldn't leave now cos the catering truck was blocking the driveway.   we hung out n' talked to andy's family.   andy's mom n' "aunt" gave us lotsa leftovers.   well, jerome n' laura put andy in their car, kaela n' i got in kaela's car, n' we drove to andy's hotel room, so andy could change, so we could go out.   andy stayed @ the ontario airport sheraton.   it felt so late, but it wasn't!   we went to rowland heights, which i kept mistakingly calling "diamond bar."   (ooh! i just remembered the title... here we go! hope u like it.)   we got boba drinks @ life plaza, the kwiyuhoonguht (cute thing) store.   kaela bought a mashimaro cd rack n' a coupl'a pens.   then we went to the arcade upstairs.   so many kids r so good @ ddr n' drum mania.   ha! kaela n' i played this game called "type or die."   ppl know i'm a pretty fast typer, so i gave it a shot. can u believe that name tho?!   ha ha, the whole concept is a bit nerdy, but hey! if i'm no good @ ddr, then 'least i'm good @ sumpthin', right?   i wanted games that provided more physical exercise, but i didn't wanna embarass myself on ddr.   well, jerome sed he was 30 mins from home, so i drove andy back to his hotel.   apparently, jerome's glendale home is much closer than we realised in the past. the next nite we found a shortcut!   when we got home, jay had come home from orange county.

sun: we woke up late.   it was hot; we were lazy; very lazy.   we ate n' lounged.   kaela's mom kept talkin' 'bout weddings.   when 530p rolled 'round, we went swimming, the whole family.   it was fun.   we actually had a coupl'a races.   kaela's a much faster swimmer than i am...   i wish i could swim more often.   well, we washed up, then kaela's parents took us to dinner china buffet in fullerton.   we ate plenty.   they have a mongolian bbq there, but only kaela's dad tried it.   the rest of us felt discouraged from going to the mongolian bbq cos we felt obligated to tip the chef, while we didn't really hafta eat mongolian bbq.   kaela's dad explained, well, u can just say thank u n' duck out really quick.   true... but neway, there were lotsa other things to eat, n' we ate plenty.   kaela n' i were s'pposed to visit jay's new rental house in laguna hills, but we ran out of time.   we went home to get the kia, n' went out to hang w/ kaela's hi skool friend linda n' her bf dave.     dave's roommates gave us directions to pasadena from chino.   wow, he hooked us up w/ a very good shortcut!   now, we know how to take the 71 to the 210 to pasadena n' beyond!   wow!   we got to pasadena in 0.5 the time!   we called linda, n' she told us to look 4 a bar to hang out @.   well, we didn't really find 1, so she told us to meet outside the cheesecake factory.   then we went to this pub.   it was a real irish pub.   dave n' i went down from our mezzanine table to buy the ladies cocktails, but the bartender quickly chewed him out, "this is an irish pub, we only sell beer n' wine."   dave was a li'l confused, so i sorta whispered to dave, "uh, i guess they don't have a liquor license, so they only have beer n' wine."   we went back upstairs to get revised orders from our ladies.   well, we had a fun time.   linda n' kaela got caught up.   wow, 1 of their hs friends recently eloped, some1 who sed she "didn't believe in marriage."   after the bar, linda n' dave still hadn't eaten dinner, so we sed we'd find newhere that was open late.   i thought 'bout what was close n' in our direction, n' i thought 'bout things i saw in san gabriel valley when i was w/ supermike, chals, n' sandy; such as norm's somewhere 'round rosemead n' temple city... well, didn't we also c that norm's when we were w/ johnny? johnny's also from temple city, like sandy.   well, since i wasn't totally sure of where i'd be leading them, we agreed to go 2wards dave's place to a denny's by his place.   well, dave n' linda ate, but kaela n' i, still full from the buffet, just had soda.   then we went back home.

well, mon: we woke up, ate w/ kaela's dad @ home, n' then we pretty much got ready to leave n' left.   we were eager to get on the road n' use our new favourite "shortcut."   it was great... until we hit traffic on the 5.   grrr! traffic was so bad!   it took us 8 hrs to get back to berkeley... 'course we stopped to eat 2ice n' use the bathroom a few times...   we ate dinner @ carl's jr. (cj's) in kettleman city; then we got mcflurries @ some other truckstop.   the trip was pretty fuel inefficient.   altho' i fueled up somewhere b4 valencia n' castaic, i had to refuel in livermore in some really "redneck" area.   some teenage kid on a bmx bike asked me to buy a cigar 4 him from the store, but i told him no.   u know, a long time 'go when i was in etcheverry 4 30 hrs straight doing 2 mech engineering projects, i had to go w/ my lab partner to rite aid to get some supplies.   some kid there asked me to buy him a cigar n' gave me $$$. i was so tired n' muddleheaded, i just went ahead n' did it 4 him.   but since then i realised, hey... that's not good! 1) i shouldn't promote tobacco use, 'specially by minors, n' 2) what if that was some sort of police sting operation? i could've gotten in trouble 4 buying a kid tobacco, right?   so i told this kid, "nah, sorry."   well... we finally made it back to berkeley.   jerome told me ppl were going out bowling, but we were 2 tired.   raymond was s'pposed to come over, but he sed it was 2 late.   on our way home, we dropped off some fud to jeanna.

2day... back to werk after labour day.   @ lunch, i bought a chicken burrito from puentez tacqueria, or whatever it's called...   it was so not spicy altho' i asked 4 "hot" salsa.   *sigh* disappointed.   i went to compusa cos i wanted to buy screen covers 4 my handspring.   i saw this "pda universal starter kit" 4 just a li'l more that had 6 covers, screen cleaners, n' a leather case.   i also bought some "free after rebate" cdrs.   when i got back to my office, i realise the starter kit really sucks cos only 1 of the 6 screencovers fits the handspring visor edge, n' even that 1 was a li'l 2 big.   also, the leather case blocks off access to the power switch.   now, i wanna return that stoopid starter kit, but i need the receipt 4 my cdr rebate.   2morrow, i'll c what i can do... the screen covers were cheaper @ the frickin' sam goody in brea mall! believe it or not...

2nite's the taekwondo promotional ceremony.   i'll be late to the black belt mtg or miss the mtg, but i gotta go applaud 4 owen's gettin' his 2dan.   anthony doe called me n' sed he'll try to show up.   i hope he does.   i hope he doesn't mind me mentioning his saying he'll come... but i do hope he comes.

sun was nelson's b.day.   happy b.day, nelson!

[later] bjunkyard's been down ever since we got back.   i'm scared it's really gone, but i dunno.   i got a "403 forbidden" msg.   uh... bronx didn't ban me, did he? or does this have sumpthin' to do w/ excite@home's recent probs?

man, i'm really starting to think djing weddings is so much stress.   djing friends' party parties n' making mix cds is my real joy.   well, maybe i'm just stressing.   c, i always worry so much 'bout weddings cos i know they're so important.   i worry that my patrons'll stress 'bout musik selection.   *sigh* i should just relax n' have fun, but i'm stressed.   i know i'm stressing 2 much.   i just dunno if ppl r gonna have these songs ready 4 me. *sigh* there's so many songs that i don't normally play, lots'a 80s rock, 70s rock, altrock...

i'm @ werk right now, but as soon as i get off, (i get off early 2day) we gotta jam down to socal... well, we don't hafta jam down... but i gotta hurry to get everything ready up here to go down...   the mp3 situation is what's really #!!@$ed up.   i dled a whole bunch'a mp3s 4 this wedding via audiogalaxy onto the beautiful kaela kang's 'puter, but i can't get them off her 'puter onto mine to burn!   the zip drive won't werk on her 'puter, n' i dunno why.   it really frustrated me last nite.   grrr! so in the end, guess what my only solution was! to redownload everything on my 'puter via audiogalaxy! what a crappy solution, but that's all i could do! i'm so frustrated! *sigh* when i get home, i still gotta covert all the mp3 to wave n' then burn them to cd! frick frick frick!!!! *sigh* c? talk 'bout stress...

well, kaela was such a sweetheart n' cooked me dinner last nite while i was bizzy stressin' 'bout all this.   she cooked ggongchi jjigae; yum yum.   i liked it.   i hate nites where i feel so sluggish... last nite, i felt so sluggish.   these days, @ nite, i usually feel so sluggish.   i was @ werk till way 2 late last nite.   then i came home, ate dinner, n' stressed 'bout the dj gig. *sigh* werkin' late makes me feel like a stressed out, old werking stiff! i hate it.   there's nuthin' good 'bout werking late.   *sigh* as always, sometimes i wish i could just goof off all day instead of werking 4 a living...   pah! i shouldn't think like that...

i dunno whether to drive my car or kaela's kia down to socal.   she originally sed we could take her car this time n' then take my car down during the winter holidays.   *sigh* still, i'm starting to think we should take my car... i dunno.

[later] so lately my wrist has been hurting quite a bit. it's like carpal.tunnel syndrome. it's my mousing wrist; it hurts from using the mouse 2much. [a li'l later] just 4 fun, lemme share sumpthin' i had to post on the y! caltaekwondopartycrew page:

sterling sent out some e.mail saying there's a stadium clean up on "saturday, august 31." k, there 2 probs w/ that statement: _2day_ is august 31, n' it's fri. also, wouldn't the futbol game be on sat not fri?! we'd be cleaning up while the spectators r watching the game?! "can i take that wrapper 4 u, sir?" "r u done w/ that drink, ma'am?" "sirs, couldju please not throw those peanut shells @ me even tho' i'm from cal, n' u'r from the opposing team? thank u!"

neway, we'll be in socal djing andy's bro's wedding, so no clean up 4 us. has the cal futbol season really already started?!

man, not much time now b4 we leave to socal. grrr! i gotta get home n' burn those songs to cd!!!! *sigh* i'm a bit stressed still.   1nce the wedding's over, i'll enjoy the 3day weekend. *sigh* it'll be fun, right?   don'tchu hate how stress just piles on?   when u stress 'bout 1 thing, u start to stress 'bout all sorts'f stuff u weren't stressin' 'bout b4.   k, maybe it's just me, n' maybe it's very unhealthy n' bad.   i'll try not to be like this. [later] i always thought dsl was an unecesssary luxury reserved 4 those who r online constantly.   i always thought i don't need it since i'm not online @ home that much; but now after this big mp3 dl fiasco, i c how ppl need dsl.   still, i won't get dsl just yet, nope!

weird, phil sent me an e.mail n' wrote 'bout what i thought got deleted in my yesterday's journal entry, "ruff! ruff!"   i thought i had written a bit 'bout alternasian / generasian x versus all the youngsters listenin' to "kpop" n' jpop, such as those kids i find on bjunkyard.   hrm... but then i thought that bit didn't get saved.   what's going on?   maybe i misplaced it n' accidentally tacked it onto the wrong day's entry?!   well, while i search 4 that, lemme share w/ u phil's comment:

I'd contest the claim that most young asians are into asian pop. Obviously it's something you'd like to believe. But I think the things we want to believe are exactly the claims we want to be skeptical about. It's like when only 10% of whites think blacks are treated unfairly at work. Well, obviously the other 90% would like to think what they think is actually true. Don't you think? Puts their mind at ease, and plus who doesn't wish that other people think the way they do?

didju read phil's comment?   well, while u were reading it, i found the passage that i accidentally tacked onto mon's journal entry, "back 2 werk," instead of yesterday's entry... imagine this passage @ the end of yesterday's entry:

[later] so in my office i was listenin' to mp3s on my soundsgood.   i have some recent english mp3s like "i'll fly w/ u," "ride w/ me," n' "back dat @$$ up."   i have lotsa korean mp3s on there now, n' i guess i have 1 "chinese" mp3, boa singing in mandarin.   whatever; musik's musik.   so... i was thinkin' how lately i guess i'm frustrated cos bjunkyard forums haven't been so focused on asian societal issues like i wish they would.   in the past, i used to visit sites like goldsea.com that'd focus entirely on asian society, asian.am politics, gettin' by as an asian in a mostly white environment, etc.   in that kind of website, there's lotsa politics, n' then there's lotsa trash talkin' 2, especially in intraracial forums... i got so sick of ppl of diff asian ethnicities baggin' on each other.   that was @ goldsea.com.   i like bjunkyard.com cos most of the ppl there r into asian entertainment n' asian pop culture...   c, that differs from what i c on many other asian 4ums, where u got lotsa these alternasians or generasian x-ers.   those ppl r mostly into alternative musik... like in the movie yellow.   i think more asians in my age group fall into this category... well, many my age n' more from the older generations.   younger kids, most r into asian pop culture.   i was just thinkin' how i've also visited this site iistix.com.   i think i find more writings from these alternasian types there.   yah... like these kinds of ppl'd find like asian pop culture 2 "fobby," i s'ppose... but that's just a prejudgemental guess n' a stereotype.   yah, in reality, i guess i know that some of these ppl r into korean gayo etc.   oh, so i just found out iistix.com also has forums. hrm... wow.   ha, they use the same program as bjunkyard. ha ha.   neway, i don't need more places to waste my time online! ha ha.

so that's what phil was replying to.   phil! didn'tchu notice this passage was oddly place? wasn't that so uncohesive? uh.. "uncohesive"? "incohesive"? r either of those 2 real wurds?!   in ne case... yah, i concede; phil, u'r right.   it's funny how i jumped to the conclusion that most young asian ppl listen to asian pop musik.   actually, 1st lemme clarify to phil sumpthin'... what i really was saying was that asians younger than us, those in hs n' college right now, listen to asian pop.   however, i realise my statement still isn't true... if i made that bold statement... did i? lemme check... oh! heh heh... yah, i did... i sed, "younger kids, most r into asian pop culture."   u know, ever since 1993, my freshman yr of college, i really hated the term "my bad," but if i didn't hate the term, i guess i'd be saying it now.   ha ha.   yah, true, phil... it's not that most asian kids listen to asian pop, but i really believe that more do now then back in our generation.   4 a while, i think there's been a big, unspoken debate 'bout what defines asian.am pop culture, or rather which pop culture defines asian.am culture.   u get what i'm sayin'? like is the asian thing to do to listen to mod rock? is it to listen to urban hip hop n' rap? is it to listen to asian pop?   back in my days, most asian.ams considered asian pop way 2 "fobby."   these days, there r definitely those that still think that.   lemme go on to quote phil some more:

Why is it desirable for ppl to like music made by singers of their own race? And this music, who's writing it anyway? To what extent does it even reflect one's cultural roots?

good pts, phil.   isn't it all such bs?!   well, phil... i did give u a copy of the ol' benomix3.   i'm sure u noticed that most of the songs r korean, some r chinese, n' then the rest is american/english.   i reason i like putting korean/asian musik on my benomix albums is that i let my asian n' nonasian friends know more 'bout asian pop culture n' that asians r capable of making decent musik... ha... "decent" depending on ur tastes, of course. what is "decent" asian musik?   is it musik that accurately emulates american/european styles? or is it asian musik that better expresses or captures asian culture?   well, i often hear asian musik that follows the guidelines of american/european musik, n' i hear asian musik that sounds really cartoony, musik that sounds like it belongs in some kids' anime show.   4 example, the fin.k.l. song "nae namja chingooeigei," or (to a slightly lesser extent) the fin.k.l. song that appears on benomix3 "jajonshim."   honestly, i prefer the asian musik that sounds more like american/european musik, the hip hop or the trance/tekno stuff.   these days, i don't so much like the cartoony stuff such as some of the early s.e.s. or fin.k.l. stuff.   it just cms a li'l "wimpy."   however, does that make me a sellout?   hey, kids... ponder that!

well, let's get back to phil's real pt: isn't my listening to asian pop musik instead of "american" / european "pop" musik (or rock or punk or hip hop or whatever!) a bit ethnocentric if not racist?   well, i dunno... phil's always kept me in check, somehow gettin' me to cogitate over if i'm 2 ethnocentric or what.   well, u know i've spent time thinkin' 'bout it, n' it was 1 of my motivations 4 vacationing in mexico, u know? to get away from my asiacentricism.   i try to find the right balance.   i don't think my asiacentricism in itself is wrong; i care 'bout my culture n' ethnic community.   i don't want to c it mistreated in america n' want it to find its equal ground.   i'm not an asian supremacist; i don't hafta c asians come down on all the other ppls of the world, but i do believe that society n' media has been unfairly treating asians in this country, abusing them.   phil gives the example of how 90% of whites in that poll don't believe blacks r treated unfairly @ werk.   well, i dunno how small the percentage is of ppl who r w/ me that asians r mistreated, but i'm still on this side.   it concerns me.   some might think it consumes me.   yah, i'm passionate 'bout it, but i try to keep myself in check.   i know i submerge myself in lotsa asian influences, but i still need to go to werk in a multiracial environment.   i'm not that unintegrated.

so why do asians like me feel we need to listen to asian musik?   k... there's no need, perhaps a desire or 'least an interest.   well, lemme frankly answer this.   the simpleton's answer would be, "cos i like it," or sumpthin' dumb like that.   still, we must 'least start our discussion there: yes, i like it.   do we really need ne more of an answer than that?   don't we all just listen to what we like?   that is how we choose musik, right?   heh... not always; oftentimes ppl choose musik cos they're familiar w/ it.   if u constantly here some song on the radio, u'll get familiar w/ it, n' u might buy the cd or 'least dl the mp3 n' listen to it more.   'course those who "keep it real" just ain't down w/ that system.   what 'bout underground musik that gets no airplay?   hey... well, in that sense, asian musik is rather underground in america, ain't it?   well, now we've determined that many young asians might be listenin' to asian pop cos it's more "alternative" than ne alternative we can find in american musik.   back in my days, the mainstream listened to top 40, but there were mods listenin' to mod rock, right? they defined their subculture n' had a special musik 4 it.   so i don't doubt that some young asians listen to asian musik purely cos they wanna fit in to a subculture that isn't the norm; they wanna be diff!   *sigh* well, u know i can't approve of that reason...   u can't just exploit a nation's culture to be kewl! i've discussed this b4... so what happens 1nce korean culture is no longer the hip thing?   as i sed, in my environment, it cmed like in the 80s n' early 90s, japanese culture was the hot asian culture, n' it cms to me that youngsters think now korean culture's the hot asian culture... just take a look on bjunkyard @ how many kids of whatever ethnicity wanna talk 'bout korean musik, n' korean celebs... 'specially the female celebs... it's neat, but i also think it's sick.   so what happens 1nce the hype dies, huh?   so all these kids'll ditch 1 culture 4 'nother; culture hop.   well... 4 now, let's not get into intraracial relations 2 much... let's discuss asian kids n' asian pop culture as panethnic units.   i've gotten way offtrack!   so do i listen to asian musik to feel i have a sense of identity in a community outside the mainstream?   hrm... i'd like to say no, but perhaps it's somewhere on the bottom of my list.   u know i'm a musician, so i try not to let those kinds of things affect my musical opinions.   i listen to musik cos i find it it musikally interesting, right?   well, what's interesting 'bout asian "pop" musik?   i think 1 thing that's interesting 'bout it is that it's similar to american/european "pop" musik, but it incorporates asian influences.   n' i like hearing how diff artists bring in those asian influences.   let's talk a listen to 1 of my fav groups dj doc.   notice how they have hip hop beats similar to american hip hop?   yet they sometimes incorporate old korean folkmusik n' do it in a way that isn't tacky, hokey, or lame.   good.   i like.   it's like asian fusion cuisine, much the same concept.   similarly, sometimes it werks, sometimes it doesn't.

now, phil... maybe u noticed that i started putting "pop" in quotes.   u know why? cos in ur e.mail u started talkin' 'bout "pop musik" as britney spears n' n'sync, etc...   yah, some of the asian musik i listen to is of that nature... but i prefer musik that isn't.   the "pop" musik i listen to is hip hop, rock, altrock, punk rock, tekno/trance, house, ska, power ballad, r&b, soul, femrock...   it's all sorts'a things! when i say "pop," i just wanna differentiate modern asian musik from asian folkmusik... i don't listen to the early asian "pop" musik, the stuff that parents listen to... n' there's also a need to distinguish that.   often, in reference to korean "pop" musik, i prefer to use the korean term "gayo."   altho' many kids say "kpop," i avoid the term.   i like "gayo" better.   i heard 1 justification 4 this b4, but it wasn't a justification i liked.   this korean guy sed he hated the term "kpop" cos it comes from the previously in use term "jpop," used to refer to japanese "pop" musik.   this guy, an obvious "i hate japanese 4 oppressing my ppl" kind of korean, sed korean gayo sounds nuthin' like japanese jpop.   ahem... well, sometimes it does... 4 example, s.e.s.! shoot, they heavily market their musik in korea, japan, n' taiwan.   s.e.s. sings in korean n' japanese.   n' u got boa who sings in korean, japanese, n' chinese.   some jpop is korean gayo...   maybe it's not the most popular jpop, but it's there.   neway, i don't approve of such philosophies aimed @ causing asian disunity.   u know i'm an asian panethnicist.   neway!!! the reason i say "gayo" instead of "kpop" is to avoid the exact prob that has come up w/ phil's e.mail... "kpop" has the wurd "pop" in it... so it makes ppl like phil think "kpop" is only "pop" musik... "pop," as in top 40 mainstream, bubblegum pop.   n' so... i say "gayo"... @ the risk that ppl'll say "gay musik?! u listen to gay musik?!?!?! well, i guess, psb (pet shop boys) n' erasure ain't bad..."

i think many asian.am kids n' even asians in asia r ditching asian "pop" musik n' r taking on trance/tekno as the musik that identifies their community.   to many, trance is the "asian" thing to listen to, not hip hop, not altrock, not asian "pop."   maybe to them, hip hop is 2 wannabe, altrock is 2 old skool, n' asian "pop" is 2 fobby or tacky.   u know, this is a good discussion... n' i'm glad phil's participating in it.   u know, i read in the paper 'bout how most hip hop cds r bought by white kids, not black kids.   in a way, it's a misconception that hip hop is a black kids' thing.   the per4mers, w/ the occasional exception such as eminem, r black, but the audience is more nonblack than u'd think. @ bjunkyard, we've discussed the question of if asian musik'll ever break into american mainstream.   there's always the language barrier... but hey! latin artists get airplay.   hey! i really respect the latino/chicano culture, n' well... u know, we just went to mexico n' all... [after a short distraction] uh... to the topik of asians n' tekno musik, i saw that in mexico, they listen to the tekno group 666, which has been somewhat popular in korean altho' they're a mexican group.

[slightly later] so toki on bjunkyard shared a really kewl link: "alllooksame? test your asian aptitude".   it's an online test where u guess if ppl r chinese japanese or korean.   i got a 6 out of 12.   ha... this is very related to my ever.favourite topik of asian.am / asian panethnicity.   *sigh* how many times do i hafta talk 'bout how in taiwan, i saw taiwanese ppl that looked korean or japanese, in hk chinese ppl that looked korean or japanese, n' in korea koreans that looked chinese, japanese, vietnames, thai, pinoy, or whatever! ppl try to distinguish physical traits that define each of these ethnicities, n' they exist... but these generalisations truly don't always werk.

[later] late nite, i cooked chicken cacciatore @ home 4 the beautiful kaela kang.   i tried to make it fancier/better than i did in the past.   she sez i don't cook the things i tell her i used to cook long time 'go.   lots of that is cos those dishes r often unhealthy, stuff like creamy, creamy clam chowder, beef stew, beef curry, etc.   these days, i've been more into cooking asian fud.   well, 4 lunch 2day, i'm eating some of the leftovers.   i broght the afterdeath sauce w/ me to werk n' am using it.   after dinner last nite, i felt so tired, sleepy, n' lethargic.   we watched an episode of voyager.   when special unit 2 came on, i really wanted to get out, so i went to return the video @ blockbuster.   yah, we didn't return in the mood for love till yesterday nite.   actually, i think that was ok... wasn't it? or no? i might've been 1 day late... i don't get 5.day rentals!   then i came home n' dled mp3s 4 andy's bro's wedding.   i really need to get lots'a mp3s 4 this gig.   i'm using audiogalaxy from kaela's 'puter.   i worry 'bout xfering files to my 'puter 4 the burner cos the zip drive hasn't been werking on kaela's 'puter lately.   2nite, i might hafta uninstall all the new hardware n' then try 'gain... *sigh*

[later] i finally titled 2day's journal entry!   ha ha, it had no title till now.   do u know the allusion?   material issue's "international pop overthrow."   do u know material issue?   ha, prob'ly not. a american (but somehow britishesque) altrock/grunge group from the early 1990s.   their 1st big hit was "valerie loves me."   i saw them play live @ san josé state back when i was in hs... sr yr? i think.   "international pop overthrow" was the name of their album n' the title track on it.   ah, the memories... the song "valerie loves me" is 'bout a simple teenboy crush on an older, hip, stylin' woman n' how now he's of age, but she's s'pposedly past her prime... that kind of thing.   wow, i just learned on that website that the leader singer passed 'way in 1996.   well, he n' his band did affect my young days, my youth.

c, this is the kind of musik fahad defines as pop! musik like this, musik like blur, musik like the smiths, i guess... british "pop."   erasure had an album called pop.   all that... that musik sounds nuthin' like britney spears or n'sync or bsb... nope! but some ppl call that pop musik. well, i'll let fahad n' phil battle it out.   they're both in law skool neway...

[much, much later] i stayed @ werk pretty late 2nite. it's 741p, n' i'm finally gonna leave. *sigh*

*sigh* it was a ruff morn, this morn.   the beautiful kaela kang woke up late 4 class, so i had to drive her to skool.   i dropped her off n' came back home n' went back to sleep.   then i woke up late 4 werk.   i felt so awful n' stressed n' miserable.   i hurried off to werk, but i just felt so frazzled n' disorganised. *sigh* i guess my mom called me in the morn, but i didn't wake up to get the call.   i hope she didn't try to call my office 1st.   i really don't like it when she calls me office fon instead of my cell fon.  

last nite, we went to practice, but i felt so lazy/lethargic.   it was nice to c johnny 'gain.   my strained/pulled muscle, (my "groin" muscle), bothered me a li'l.   i thought that giving it a coupl'a weeks w/o taekwondo'd heal it; but maybe i should've been stretching it instead. *sigh*   after practice, seunghwan, johnny, kaela, n' i went to the durant fud ct.   we 1st got boba drinks from sweetheart café, then got fud from bear ramen house.   1 sorta funny thing is that when seunghwan left, i had to get his stuff out of my car, so i left my 0.5 eaten jjajangbap on the counter n' helped seunghwan.   when i came back, my fud was gone, n' i sed, "where's my fud." then the gurl @ the counter realised that i hadn't left 4 the nite.   upes! well, she offered to make me 'nother 1, but i knew i've been eating way 2 much lately.   honestly, i've gained quite a bit of weight.   i weight in @ 156 lzst nite.   u realise that back in 1999 i'd usually weigh in 10 lbs less than that?!   in fact, i was almost 20 lbs less than that @ 1tym.   neway, it's not like i have some eating disorder n' need to be 136 lbs.   no way! still, i'd feel best if i was btwn 147 n' 150.   i don't feel healthy in this shape.   unless i got really buff, i'd rather not be heavier than 150, or the low 150s.

[later] i feel pretty crappy 2day.   @ werk, i feel unfocused.   maybe it's my cowerker's loud musik, i dunno.   maybe that's just an excuse.   *sigh* i gotta take care of that wutc fundraising biz... geez, won't somebody's corporation just frickin' sponsor us already?!   i feel pretty negative right now, i think.   i just feel yucky... sort'f lethargic, sort'f just muddleheaded.   i don't like it.   i just hope if i go out to lunch n' back, then i'll be all focused n' get all sorts'f $#!+ done. :(

[later] so i went out to the shopping centre during lunch.   i 1st went to rite.aid to buy a few things... well, i bought a reusable ice pack thing.   then i bought a 2pack of disposable fuji cameras.   that came w/ a free 12 pack of pepsi.   then i went to safeway to buy some fud, including my lunch.   i bought an overpriced hoagie; i sometimes do that.   when i got back to my cubicle n' unwrapped the sandwich.   i was so dismayed to find out the sandwich was not just turkey, but had some disgustingly fatty salami in it 2.   it looked like mostly fat. ugh.   i took a few bites w/ the salami in place, but soon, i had to take it out n' discard those slices.   i just can't eat stuff like that.   i gotta do sumpthin' to cheer up n' feel better 'bout life... [later] maybe the end of the month just always sucks @ werk.   it's hard 4 me to 'member that next week, i get fri off; n' the week after i get fri off.   last nite, darline wanted me to check if i still had my e28 book in berkeley. *sigh* i 4got.   i feel so bad.

[later] so 2day i realised that chals has his café back up on his webpage.   eh! maybe he's pissed i just publicised that.   ok, well then... scratch that last announcement, n' please don't visit the link.   well, shoot... he sed it himself a while 'go that he was kinda anti.social, but i dunno if he believes he's still anti.social.   how do ppl turn anti.social?   have u been keepin' up w/ joon's journal?   in a way he thinks he's being antisocial 2wards some of us; not willingly so, i guess... he's been hanging w/ church friends instead of taekwondo friends.   that's fine.   i have friends outside of taekwondo!   we hung out w/ ken/grace on sun n' toby/betty on mon.   i do wanna hang out w/ joon.   he sez that maybe we've drifted...   *sigh* well, then... we should hang out, shouldn't we, joon?   don't 4get, i have some friends i consider very good ppl whom i trust, whom i don't necessarily hang out w/ every nite after practice.   'member? i've learne to distinguish btwn "ppl i hang out w/" n' trueblue "friends."   that was prob'ly more of an issue i spent last summer thru this summer thinkin' 'bout.   4 now, i think i have that issue resolved.   @ the moment, i don't feel i have so many "who r my real friends" issues.   i feel com4table w/ the ppl i talk to.   i'd like to hang w/ joon sometime; it just cms like we can never find him these days.   spending time in garden grove n' orange cty w/ him early this summer was fun.   maybe joon feels younger than us, n' he is.   still, johnny's younger.   college students r so much younger than me, these days.   i'm no youngster, nope.   not 'mongst the ppl i'm in contact w/ outside of werk.   @ werk, they think i'm a baby.   joon spoke very frankly in his recent journal entry.   that's good.   he's really come back home to what online journaling is all 'bout.   it's been a while since i last hung out w/ chals.   i don't know exactly what he's up to.   skool, i c.   from chals's page, i visited his ex.roomate kyung's page.   his page is pretty humourous.   *sigh* i'm glad to c young friends keeping up their webpages.   it cms like so many ppl start up webpages then get all phased n' dazed by it all n' stop updating them, stop maintaining them.   it's a shame.   a webpage ain't a 1tym thing... uh... heh heh... i guess i'm pretty guilty cos i haven't shown ne recent pics.   u know... i have this page all written up w/ pics from this spring or this summer.. i 4get.. uh... i guess summer? but i just don't show it to u!   i'm bad, huh? @ least i keep my journal alive.   i guess sometimes i don't write as much cos i get distracted by bjunkyard forums, but lately, the forums have been very slow... not in netwerk speed, but ppl haven't been posting so much... 'least not stuff i'm really interested in.   i guess lots'a the members r younger nowadays... well, they always were...   it's just so many of them have no interest in true asian.american / asian community issues.   we get lotsa boys who just talk nonstop 'bout how they're just so in love w/ exotic asian women this n' that... i'm so sick of that kind of stuff.   it's just such primitive thinking, in my opinion.   still, i do like the forums, n' well... i'm a "mod" there, n' yah, i'll keep hangin' out there... the accountant @ my werk came by to give me a reimbursement check.   weird, he's usually such a vocal, friendly guy; but just now, i sed hi, he didn't, he handed me a check, i sed thanks, n' he didn't say nething.   hrm... maybe he has larangitis? maybe he's just stressed... dunno.

[later] so how r u?   i saw my 4mer taekwondo student anthony montvirgen @ the rsf last nite.   he had knee surgery.   *sigh* i hope my 4mer white belt students'll continue this semester.   of my original white belt students, rosalie n' clarence have now gotten black belts.

[later] i 4got to mention that 2 nites 'go, i got my soundsgood mp3 player to werk!   @ 1st i had some probs cos i was using the version of palm desktop that roland gave me, n' that 1 was made 4 the palm m505, not handsprings.   now the mp3 player werks, but the new handspring version of palm desktop refuses to update the pc's datebook n' address book, etc. when i hotsync.   so last nite, i burned a whole bunch'f mp3s from my 'puter n' brought them over to kaela's 'puter to load onto my soundsgood.   4 some reason, many of the mp3s didn't burn properly onto the cdrom; dunno why.   later, when i actually archive these mp3s to cdrom, they'd better burn properly.   since cdrs r pretty cheap these days, this is the best way 4 me to transfer files to kaela's 'puter.   i can't cm to get my parallel zip drive to werk on her 'puter ever since we installed all this usb stuff. *sigh*

[later] dang! i wrote a whole bunch'a stuff here that got deleted somehow! frick! i dunno how... i think it must've sed "no" to saving?! dunno... dang... it's ok... it was lots'a babbling... i was talkin' 'bout some asian.am issues... *sigh* i'll talk 'bout them some other time.

well, i survived my 1st day back to werk.   did all u (cal) students survive ur 1st day of skool?!   4 lunch, yesterday, i went to roadrunner to get a grilled chicken torta, which i ate w/ lotsa mexican chipotle hot sauce.   the sandwich was ok>, but i sorta wished i had gotten a burrito instead.   i thought i'd give the torta a try, but then i 'membered i already had.   also, usually, i use this frequent burrito buyer club card thingy, but since i filled 1 up recently n' ca$hed it in 4 a burrito; i don't have a card, so i wanted to get a nonburrito meal.   neway, that was my lunch.   then 4 dinner, toby took me n' the beautiful kaela kang out to dinner @ zachary's on solano w/ his gf betty.   well, we've been doing couples stuff 'lot lately, huh? ...since we did the sf thing w/ ken n' grace on sun n' all.   it's ok.   that's how life goes, right?   ppl do eventually find their life's partners, their soulmates.   it happens.   love happens.   toby gave me a new smokey joe bbq grill!   we gotta bbq sometime soon!   2 bad not this weekend cos we're going down to socal 4 andy's bro's wedding.   dang, we gotta get that all organised this week.   toby also gave me a pair of boxers.   we have this running gag or tradition 'bout wearing matching underwear n' givin' each other underwear.   wait... maybe he just gives me underwear... but neway, it's kewl.   afterwards, toby n' betty came over, n' we showed them stuff from cancun.   i felt bad cos i don't have our digital pics that organised, so i feel like i'm torturing ppl thru a typically bad vacation slideshow.   nuts.

well... *sigh* i ate a very unhealthy lunch 2day @ werk.   i ate a slice of leftover zachary's pizza n' a bowl of keunsabal instant yookgyeijang.   'least the pizza was "good health pizza," n' i cooked the instand noodles using peter park's (aka bronx) method: i cooked the noodles, then drained them, then added the powder w/ some fresh hot water.   *sigh* i try to be healthy, but man... i really worry i'm puttin' on some in bad places, in bad ways.   *sigh*

sometime last nite i got a page from my dad on my cellfon.   i think he wants to talk to me 'bout going to taiwan in oktober.   *sigh* i gotta tell him that i really can't find that kind of vacation time.   i think he's disappointed we chose to go to cancun over taiwan this past week, but i have important reasons 4 that: 1) if i go to taiwan, i want it to be 4 longer. n' 2) i'm very into asian culture; i'm so asiacentric, so i knew i had to do something non asia.related 'least 1nce... just to broaden my perspective, help me better understand non.asian ppl.   of course, i want my grandpa to meet kaela; i really do.   we've talked 'bout making a combined korea-taiwan trip sometime in the future to visit relatives.   it's not a lack of desire that's keeping us, just a lack of vacation time n' $$$.   still, we wanted to have some break this summer... *sigh* neway, the thing is my grandpa's really sick, so we really gotta go c him.   it's a situation that really tears me apart. i hate it!

[much later] so i hope to go to taekwondo practice 2nite.   i hope that goes well.   ugh, it's cold in my cubicle right now.   [later] we're s'pposed to take raymond out to dinner as thanks 4 driving us to n' from the airport 4 our cancun trip.   i dunno when this'll happen, but we will.   i wonder how owen's doing.

back 2 werk, back 2 skool.   2day was the 1st day of classes @ cal, but boy... that barely affects me, right?   well, since the beautiful kaela kang is in grad skool; it affects me that much.   *sigh* i'm 26 now, i graduated in 1998.   i've been out of college 4 quite some time now, n' each yr i feel so much more distanced from that college life.   i'm fine w/ it, much more than i was in the past.   i used to miss student life so much, but i guess i'm a li'l more "mature" now."   is that whatchu call "mature"?   i don't wish i were younger n' still a college student, 'least not an undergrad.   nope.   i still hang w/ plenty of students, both grad students n' undergrads.   the youngest person i ever hang out w/ is johnny, right?   johnny was a freshman last yr.   now he's a sophomore, but prob'ly the taekwondo club'll get a new freshman this yr... or 2... or 3, etc.   we'll c.   what's gonna happen w/ taekwondo this yr?   well, shoot... we'll have a uc open tournament in late feb n' the 2002 world university taekwondo championships in june.   *sigh* lotsa werk.   i'll hafta get demos ready, n' i'll hafta help w/ lotsa office werk n' organisational stuff.   i know my life is progressing.   i'm no longer a student.   in a way, i do c myself sorta gradually phasing over from the young taekwondo college student role to the "oldtimer" role.   i think it's a slow transition, but it'll happen eventually.   i sort'f feel that these next 2 projects will be my last as a "young" guy, but maybe that's a pessimistic pt of view.   what do u think?   i think it'll be a long, hard rd to make a good demo 4 the wutc, but i think we can make it sumpthin' glorious... er... w/ lots'a werk btwn now n' then...   4 the near future, i really wanna get some demo team members 2gether to film a demo video.   i was just thinkin' how we can use kaela's elph to capture .avi files... or else we can use our camcorders, n' maybe jerome can help us edit via his vcr n' ati card n' 'puter. i dunno.   sounds like a lotta werk, huh? but making a video'd be a good project.   we'll get to c how we improve, etc.   n' the audience isn't live, so we can have several takes.   well, we'll c.   neway, i feel so out of shape @ the moment.   i gotta get back into the swing of things w/ taekwondo, really do.

2day, i came back to werk.   well, things r still here.   i have the same projects as when i left, nuthin' catastrophic happened.   to some extent, i gotta get back into the swing of things, but i also feel a bit refreshed n' energised.   *sigh*   summer's ending; it'll soon be fall.   life progresses.   right now i'm snacking on my last package of mango con chilito (dried mangoes coated w/ chili powder n' salt).   i think they're pretty good altho' 2 salty.   toby sed 2nite we should go to zachary's.   toby likes zachary's.   i went w/ him some time 'go; i 4get exactly when, but i guess i could look that up in my old journal, huh?   hrm, i just now quickly browsed thru that file to find documentation of the last time i went to solano zachary's w/ toby, but i didn't find it.   hrm...   neway, i did read up on some interesting things that happened 'bout a yr 'go.   i bet that was when it was.   i think toby took me there 4 my b.day last yr... i think.   i'm not sure.   toby's gotta pick up his bbq from our place.   there's no official taekwondo practice this week, but i really gotta get back into things.   i haven't cn master yoon all summer, n' i haven't heard from him yet.

fri, we'll drive down to socal 4 andy's bro's wedding.   i didn't realise till now that it'll be outdoors.   he sent me a .jpg of the location.   *sigh* man, aug is almost over.   'tis the last week of aug.   man... crazy! yet, u know... we had an awesome summer!   i really loved this summer!   i think we did lotsa fun stuff.   it all makes me feel good 'bout life.   it's good to feel good 'bout life.   ha! simplistic statement, yah...

[note to brandie's h.s. friend] hey there! brandie sez she doesn't have a 'puter yet, n' that's why she hasn't e.mailed u back yet. she's "relying on the kindess of strangers" so far.   she cms to be doing ok in "chi-town."   i'm so sad she left.... :'-(, but she's gonna be a lawyer!

[later] if ne1 wants to buy a gm car ever, i have these gm credit card rewards that i gotta spend... so hey, we can strike up a deal.   i switched to using a sony card, instead... right b4 the cancun trip.   my mom sez it's bad to have 2 many credit cards, but shoot... not 'nuff restaurants accept discover, n' i don't think i'll be buying a gm card netime soon.   really!

the beautiful kaela kang tried to clean up our apt a li'l yesterday afternoon.   *sigh* it cms so hard to keep this place clean nowadays... or maybe 'twas always hard.   *sigh* then we picked up roland n' went to the 99 mall to eat pho.   then kaela n' i got drinks from the boba café.   then we dropped kaela off @ home cos she had a stomach ache, n' roland n' i went to blockbuster to pick up a video.   i chose wong karwai's in the mood for love, since i've always wanted to c this movie.   'twas a big disappointment. *sigh*   i wish i could recommend this movie, but *sigh* i can't.   well, it's late @ nite now, teknically sun morn.   what we gonna do?   we're supposed to go to 'nother mtg 'bout volunteering to help doggies @ the humane society.   we also wanna shop 4 a colour inkjet printer, if we can.   ken sed he might know a guy that can get us a good deal.   if so, maybe we'll head down to the sobay? i dunno yet.

[much, much later]   so we went to the doggy shelter to get more training.   then ken n' grace came up to berkeley via ikea.   they came up, saw our apt., then we went to lunch.   we tried to go to sawooei #2, but 'twas closed.   instead, we 168ed.   that was ken n' grace's 1st time.   ken mentioned that we should go to sf n' do sumpthin' fun like visit alcatraz.   well, we spent 2 much time @ 168, so 'twas a li'l late 4 alcatraz.   we still tried tho'.   we swung by the apt n' got jackets.   then we drove to sf thru very bad traffic.   by the time we got to sf we decided 'twas 2 late 4 alcatraz, so we went to golden gate park.   after we found parking, we went to the japanese tea gardens.   then we left gg park n' went to ocean beach.   we walked on the beautiful beach.   then we walked 'round the cliff house.   we tried to go to the downstairs restaurant @ the cliff house, but 'twas closed 4 a private party.   grace peeked in upstairs n' let us know that we were very underdressed 4 upstairs.   so we went next door to the pub n' ate pubfud n' had some drinks as we watched the sunset.   then we drove up to twin peaks.   we tried to enjoy the view outside, but the cold chased us back into the car.   we managed to get a few kewl pics.   then we drove thru downtown to coit tower.   we got a few pics there.   then we went home.   ah, 'twas so much fun.   we were semi.tourists in our own local area.   skool starts 2morrow 4 the students.   *sigh* what a nice last day of vacation.   i wonder how all the taekwondo folks r doing.

k, i gotta finish telling u 'bout cancun.   1st, u gotta make sure u read me aug 23 entry, "in cancun." yup, please read that b4 reading this entry.   hrm... where di i leave off?   ok, i left off telling u 'bout the educational adventure we had @ the mayan ruins.   *sigh* yah, i really liked that.   i just loved walking thru the sports field, feeling like i'm walking thru a place where so much history happened.   didju know that wars were settled w/ this ballgame?   each side'd gather 100 soldiers n' play a ballgame to settle the war.   then in the end the losing side's captain got decapitated, but only he died.   hrm... we have all these pics we gotta show u.

neway, on thurs, we were skeduled to go to la isla mujares, a resort island.   hrm... we had some major complications in the morning cos we were so stressed that we hadn't gotten back the belongings we left on the chichen itza bus, but we had to go to la isla mujares.   man, we sorta caused a commotion w/ hotel n' travel agency.   hrm... well, in the end we got our stuff just in time, but we barely missed our shuttle to the boat, so we had to hire a taxi to rush us there.   well, we made it! phew! it was so kewl!   unh! i wish i could show u the pics right now!! we got on this yacht.   they treated us well, gave us all sorts'f drinks n' pastries.   i loved being on the ship, having the ocean breeze come in.   then we saw the island.   it was beautiful!   well, it was pretty much what i c on tv or movies when they depict ne kind of tropical paradise resort.   the water was so clear, the sand was so white n' fine.   well, we chose to go snorkeling.   that was kewl.   we locked our stuff in a locker, then a boat took us out to the sea, n' we jumped in w/ snorkeling gear.   we had life jackets 'round our waists, so we couldn't swim down to the bottom of the reef, but we could swim @ the top n' continuously view the fishes n' stuff.   wow... we saw so many tropical fish, so up close.   i took lots'a pics, n' i hope to show them soon.   after snorkeling, we cleaned up n' went to the buffet lunch.   then we walked 'round the tourist village a li'l.   then we swam a li'l in the ocean.   then we cleaned up n' got ready to go back.   we really didn't wanna miss the boat this time!!! phew, we were ok.   this li'l mexican gurl was so interested in talking to the beautiful kaela kang.   we also met this local who previously lived in orange county.   he looked just like jeff goldblum.   i didn't tell him cos i'm sure he gets that all the time.   then the tour guide put me in as part of the entertainment.   they had 4 guys go up n' do "exotic" dancing 4 1 female tour guide.   it was pretty silly but a good way to pass the time.   uhm, i guess i might letchu c the video that kaela filmed of that later.   well, when we got back to cancun, we took the bus back to the hotel.   it was so much cheaper than taxis, n' we wished we could've used the buses more.   after we washed up, we crossed the street back to the mall, n' kaela got her hair cornbraided.   u gotta c the pics.   she still has the braids, but we dunno how much longer they'll last.   we ate a quick, simple dinner in the mall's fud ct, which was diff from ur typical fud ct, cos they gave u this card.   u buy stuff w/ the card, then as u leave, they check how much u bought w/ the card, n' charge u there.   from where we sat, we could c into this bar where lame americans were making fools of themselves doing the electric slide n' stuff.   ugh, it was awful!   how can the mexican natives stand cing americans bastardising their culture into some lame, drunk frat party?!   it's disgusting.   *sigh* well, that was an issue i had thru.out the trip... the whole anthropology of tourism thing...   usually, i prefer to have a trip where i hang out w/ locals n' experience true local life, not stuff they sell to tourists.   eh, i guess that's just easier when i visit asia.   it's hard to be treated like a real local elsewhere.   maybe it's sad, but it's true.   still, i tried to focus on other ways to study the mexican culture, the more traditional route, i guess, of studying their history, such as the mayan ruins.   yah, those things definitely also interest me, but yah... modern anthropology... modern social anthropology, that really interests me.   i sort'f wanted to c how "typical" mexicans live.   where do they werk? what do they eat? how r their skools? etc.   i saw some things on tv, n' i saw that maybe mexican life is similar to american life.   then there were things that made me think that life in every other country but 'merica has some things in common that u just don't have in 'merica.   sure, there's stuff like the metric system n' how cars r just so much less important everywhere but in the u.s.   so there were some things that i think r common to mexico, europe, n' asia, but not the u.s.   it made me think, man... u.s.a. is really backwards.   well, here's a silly question: how come we don't like soccer more? what's the big deal w/ american football?   hrm... maybe i'm glad 'merican guys don't wear speedos on the beach as much as guys in other countries cm to... ha ha.   *sigh*

well, after dinner, we strolled a bit, browsed in a cd store, strolled some more, then went back to the hotel to pack.   we didn't get to sleep much cos we hasd such an early morning flight.   well, we got out of there w/o many complications.   the flights from cancun to atl n' from atl to sfo were pretty fine.   i got to have a "low fat meal" on my atl-sfo flight.   it wasn't all that "low fat."   it's just that they gave me margerine insteads of butter, fat free salad dressing, n' fruit instead of cake.   raymond was stuck @ werk 4 a while, so we waited @ sfo 4 a while 4 him.   we couldn't go stroll 'round cos we had our luggage.   otherwise, we really would've loved to c the new int'l terminal.   oh well.

well, last nite, we went to party sushi w/ jerome, laura, raymond, n' roland.   we had a good sushi feast.   party sushi is pretty affordable, not really fancy, not really expensive, but i think it's fine.   also, it's close! :-)   afterwards, ppl came over, n' we showed them pics till they got sleepy.

2day, kaela n' i ate lunch @ vik's chaat house.   then we went to a volunteer orientation @ the berkeley humane society.   we'll try to volunteer some time there, go n' pet doggies every so often.   that's all they need, ppl to give the doggies some attention.

i'm writing this journal entry in cancun.   i won't get a chance to "post" it or upload it till we get back to berkeley, but i'm typing it up on raymond's laptop, which he lent us.   i guess, if we didn't have this laptop, i'd be writing on my handspring.   i haven't done 1 of those journal entries in a while, eh?   neway!!! "how's cancun n' everything?" right? heh heh... man! where do i start?!

well, shoot... we left the bay area on sun, august 19.   it was a crazy, hectic day.   raymond picked us up, us 'course meaning kaela kang n' me.   he 1st drove us down to milpitas, to the great mall, to meet up w/ our friends 4 a b.day get2gether @ david n' buster's in milpitas.   so we meet up w/ ken n' grace right 'way, then we found jeff, jocelyn, andy, dave, cal n' his gf kwong, roland, laura, n' erin.   soon, ken yamaguchi met up w/ us 2.   b4 sun, i had never been to a d&b, as they call it.   andy bought me a d&b game card w/, i think, 100 credits, n' set me loose to play whatever i wanted.   i guess i mostly played video games but also some of those carnival.like games that win tickets 4 prizes.   i got into that a li'l cos grace was playing them.   4 a coupl'a games, ken, grace, kaela, n' i did a 4person car race.   later, i got to play this kewl boxing game where u have a physical user interface; u hold these boxing glove controllers, n' u actually punch @ the screen n' duck n' bob ur opponents' punches.   hrm... while we were watching the game n' i was gettin' ready to play after the current player, this guy kept telling us how kewl the game was... hrm... maybe he was 1 of those uh.. "buzz marketing" ppl i read 'bout in businessweek hrm... i c.   yah, i think i've cn those type of ppl in stores... i don't 'member a specific incident, but it cms like i've been in a store lookin' @ sumpthin' when i heard some guy totally praising the product or sumpthin'...   hrm... dunno... sidetracked... neway, we were sorta rushed, since our plane ticket got changed... i mentioned that, right?   delta airlines called us to let us know that the sfo-atl flight's plane had a mechanical problem, n' they cancelled the flight.   we were freaked but were able to get a flight from sjx to atl, but it was an earlier flight.   this was ok since we'd be in san jo, right?   well, we hurried off to aqui tacqueria, a restaurant jocelyn picked out.   yah, i had heard of it in reviews etc., but i had never been to it.   it's on lincoln in the willow glen neighbourhood of san jo, very close to where my sister n' steve live.   if kaela n' i had known, we could've given steve his b.day present, which we've had 4 a very long time, since b4 his b.day, but we just don't get a chance to c him...   well, raymond bought my dinner, a very good ahi wasabi burrito.   kaela bought me a tropical fruit margarita.   good fud n' drinks! n' so we had this li'l party 4 dave, cal, n' me.   we all had our 26th b.days all near each other's... cal's is aug 18, dave's is aug 21, n' mine is aug 21.   funny, cos we were celebrating on aug 19, n' that's none of us's b.day! ha, kewl.   k, well, they had a nice chococake 4 us w/ all our names on it.   we snagged some extra plates n' forks, n' we had the cake.   then they gave us our presents.   a bunch got 2gether w/ kaela to get me a handspring mp3 module n' an attachment to make it a standalone mp3 player!   kewl! i like it very much.   dave n' cal got a bunch'a golf stuff, since they're into golf so much.   well, then it was rush, rush, rush to the airport.   ooooh boy, we cut it close!!!! out on the street, ken n' grace met us @ raymond's car to transfer some taekwondo stuff ken was donating to us.   then they also gave me 'nother gift from the 2 of them, a mousepad calculator n' this novelty "b.day kit" thing.   i guess i can stop using that siemens nuclear mousepad, huh?   my dad gave that to me, but his company isn't even called that nemore.   well, yup, it was rush, rush, rush to the airport now.   phew! we barely made the plane! i got held up w/ security cos i 4got to take my handspring out of my pocket...

well, we got on the plane from sjx to atl.   'twas pretty uncom4table.   i think if we were flying an intl flight, they'd give us a better accomodations n' service.   it felt kinda cramped on the 757, n' u had to pay $5 to watch the stoopid in.flight movie driven. we skipped it.   well, we landed in atl.   it was a li'l bit shorter flight than we anticipated cos we 4got 'bout that we'd lose 3 hrs going east.   still we had all this time to kill in atl now.   when we got off the plane in humid atl.   kaela was surprised w/ how humid it was, but i told her that the rest of the world besides cali4nia is humid; we just live in a desert.   we had a long, long stopover in atl in the early morning.   atl is a huge airport.   right 'way i felt it was diff from the bay area... i noticed there were hardly ne asian ppl walkin' 'round.   wow, so this is the eastern south usa, huh?   i wondered if atl was similar to supermike's newport news, va.   it felt a li'l tortuous to wait in atl.   eventually restaurants opened 4 breakfast.   we bought some so.so chinese fast.fud from some mandarin express place.   eh! nuthin' great, but 'twas fud.   we were so tired.   it felt like gradnite or sumpthin'.   'twas a bit tiring to rush straight from that b.day party to this trip.   hrm... i wondered if many couples' honeymoons feel like this when the rush from their wedding reception to the airport.   man, oh man! crazy!!! crazy, i tell u!   ugh, i felt so durty, tired, grouchy, n' uncom4table...   yet, 'least we had a good destination, u know?

well, we got on the delta 757 from atl to cancun.   'twas a shorter flight, but i think the service was much better.   we got to watch tv 4 free n' they fed us... nuthin' special, just typical american airplane fud, but 'least they fed us.   well... we landed in cancun airport.   'twas warm.   i felt it was ok, but i know others thought it was pretty unbearable.   i dunno... maybe a few yrs 'go, i'd think it was unbearable, but after my trips to hk, taiwan, n' korea, i've cn climates diff from the bay area, n' i feel ok w/ warmer, more humid weather...   ugh! getting thru the int'l entrance, passport thingy was so tortuous! the line was so long... yet i guess i'm thankful we didn't get there later cos the line got so much longer.   crazy!!!   it was like standing in a line 4 the newest ride @ disneyland.   after the passport check, we went to get our baggage... which was so hard to find amongst the sea of other bags that looked like ours.   then we went to customs really quickly.   man, after that we were totally bombarded w/ tourist literature n' maps!   wow, we had definitely entered an area that's main industry is tourism!   wow, they just kept shoving flyers, books, n' maps @ us!   then we looked 4 a way to get to the hotel.   ppl were fast to get us a ride, n' i was very cautious cos i was worried of scams n' stuff.   well, after we bought what they called a "taxi" ticket, some guy took our luggage n' ...

[much later]   k, so i was saying how we left the airport.   the guy brought our luggage to a shuttle bus.   then he held his hand out... i was confused, then he sed, "was my tip good?"   i knew he meant, "was my service good, but that was pretty direct.   i knew i only had 2 $1 dollar bills.   i gave him 1 knowing i had to tip the shuttle driver sumpthin'.   well, i guess the sheraton hotel wasn't 2 far 'way, but we passed so many hotels.   right 'way, i felt cancun was a li'l like las vegas, full of big hotels... hrm... i haven't ben to vegas since i was a kid, but i know las vegas has lots'a big hotels...   well, we checked into our hotel, n' tried to figure out how to plan the week, since we didn't make ne tour plans cos some hotel employee that kaela had talked to on the fon sed we could just show up n' it'd be easy.   eh! well, that wasn't necessarily true.   so we made some plans w/ a travel agent that had an office in the hotel.   'twas mon, n' we reserved a chichen itza trip 4 wed, n' a isla mujares trip on thurs.   the travel agent sed we weye 2 late to reserve ne trip 4 tues.   neway, we knew the tropical storm chantel'd be hitting us on tues, so oh well...   well, after the travel agent, i guess we went to the mall 'cross the street n' did a li'l shopping.   then we went back n' changed n' made plans to go to a mayan restaurant called pacal 4 dinner.   we got a taxi from the hotel.   'twas a really good dinner, a good experience.   well, after dinner, we took the same taxi right back to the hotel.   *sigh* what a long day!

tues, we woke up late knowing we had nuthin' particular to do.   we ate leftovers from the mayan restaurant 4 brunch in our room.   then we went 'cross the street back to the mall just to walk 'round n' sorta shop.   ha, u'r prob'ly thinking all we did was frickin' shop in cancun, but no no no... don't worry.   oh yah! chantel hit us that afternoon.   crazy! even tho' it could'a been must worse, i think.   man! it was such crazy rain! it was nice n' warm, 'least.   stores got flooded.   k, after the rain subsided, we returned to the room n' changed into swimclothes.   we went to visit an ancient mayan ruin very close to the hotel, pretty much on the hotel property, i guess...   then we went swimming 4 a while in the hotel pool.   'twas a very shallow pool!   then we cleaned up.   well, i guess tues was my real b.day, aug 21.   we took 'nother taxi to 'nother fine restaurant.   kaela bought me dinner @ this lobster restaurant, lorenzillo's.   i actually had langostinos, not big lobster.   it was s'pposed to be spicy.   it was ok spicy, but not real spicy.   hrm... i saw 'lotta of that in cancun, fud that was s'pposed to be really spicy, but hrm... yah, not really.   kaela had told the restaurant 'twas my b.day, so they brought out this lime merengue dessert w/ a candle n' sang.   'twas interesting.   oh yah! the restaurant was on the lagoon, so we got to watch fishies swim in the water.   we also saw some jellyfish.   the water was lit.   oh yah, from all that tourists' literature we got @ the airport, we had these coupon books from mastercard, so we got some free things n' discounts here n' there.   @ the mayan restaurant, we got this laminated poster.   @ lorenzillo's, we got a coffee mug.   well, after dinner, we walked 'round a li'l.   then we got a taxi back.   man... lemme tell u: some stoopid webpage 'bout cancun gave me the false impression that i didn't need much ca$h in cancun, that i could just use us ca$h 'lot, n' that i could use credit card all over the place.   well, actually, there Were tons of mastercard signs, banners, etc. in the isla shopping center 'cross from our hotel.   i think, maybe, that site i visited was, like, sponsored by mastercard.   neway... u know?   i got a big lesson in the anthropology of tourism as well as anthropological tourism.   u realise what i mean, right? n' u realise how these 2 terms r totally diff, right?

k, what i mean by "the anthropology of tourism" is how tourism affects a culture, a ppl.   by "anthropological tourism" i mean, tourism 4 the sake of studying a culture...   like what we did on tues when we went out to chichen itza to c ruins of a mayan civilisation.   whew! that was really kewl! i've never cn stuff quite like that...   neway, lemme tell u how wed started... well, we woke up to our wake up call.   we went downstairs to meet our tour group n' get on a bus.   the bus drove to other hotels to pick up more tourists.   ugh, i was so sleepy.   well, a li'l bit down the road, after we left the hotel area, the tourguide passed out juice n' mexican pastries.   the pastries were pretty good.   i think i felt a li'l energised after eating, but then i felt sleepy 'gain.   this tour sorta reminded me of the tour to hualien in taiwan, where the indigenous taiwanese ppl live.   well, these tours were similar cos they both took ppl from "modern" areas to rural places w/ "indigenous" ppl, i guess.   the tour bus 1st stopped @ some tourist gift shop, so we could use the bathroom.   i stayed 'way from the pushy salesppl, but i did buy some bottled water cos we needed it.   then we went to a sinkhole.   man! this was kewl! whew! i dunno if i ever thought that i'd do this in my life...   we walked down into this "sinkhole," n' we got to swim in this tropical cave... well, it's not a cave, it's a sinkhole, but i dunno if u can picture it... it's like swimming in a came w/ all these vines hangi!' down n' fishies in the water.   whoa! n' 'twas a li'l dark altho' light comes in from the top.   i got to walk up some stairs n' "dive" from up there into the sinkhole.   phew!   well, u gotta check out the pics from kaela's digicamera when she posts them.   it's hard to explain.   un4tunately, i left my waterproof disposicamera (disposable camera) on the bus.   well, we had to rush to the bus cos we spent quite a while swimming.   it was just so much fun.   then we realised that kaela 4got her clothes down in the sinkhole, so i ran down the stairs, got the clothes, n' came back up.   it was good exercise, i figured.   then the tourbus brought us to a restaurant 4 a mexican buffet.   i liked the habanero salsa, altho' it bewildered me that it was green not orange.   i figured maybe they use unripe habaneros.   it wasn't as spicy as most other habanero salsas i've had.   i also liked the unlimited supply of guacamole.   mmm... altho' unhealthy.   some local kids danced 4 us.   they did this thing; they'd dance w/ bottles n' glasses of water on their heads.   not bad.   the dancing was kind'a like tap dancing, i guess.   then we were off to chichen itza.   man... *sigh* it was a really educational experience... n' i really liked it.   c, this is what coming to cancun was 'bout, an life.enriching, life.enhancing, educational experience.   we didn't come to party mtv springbreak style or to shop!   man, wait till u c the pics from chichen itza!   man, it was a beautiful place, n' we also learned so much 'bout the ancient mayan culture.   *sigh* i kept imagining what the civilisation must've looked like.   it must've looked all modern n' hitech.   even tho' we c bricks n' stone, back in those days, the bricks n' stones were coverd w/ layers of stucco n' paints, etc.   the bldgs looked like... i dunno... maybe what i'd consider futuristic.   this trip to chichen itza put history in a li'l perspective to me... in a confusing yet simplistic way.   i thought 'bout how diff cultures had their "height of early civilisation" @ diff times... like romans, greeks, egyptians, chinese/asians... heh, isn't it so messed up how li'l of ancient asian history they teach u in us skools?   i think it's pretty %@#$ed up... well, maybe we learned a li'l 'bout mayans... they called them "indians" or "american indians," n' we briefly talked 'bout them.   k, neway, man... we got to climb a big pyramid w/ all those steps.   it was so beautiful up there!   *sigh* we saw such kewl things @ chichen itza... but then things went wrong.   we got totally lost in this park... ugh... it was really bad...   in the end the tourbus left w/o us, n' we actually had to take a taxi back to cancun.   that's actually quite a long ride.   the taxi driver brought his dad w/ him.   he brought us to a bank in valladolid, a small town.   the tourbus showed that city to us earlier.   well... we finally made it back.   i took kaela out to dinner @ this restaurant called la madonna, this italian restaurant w/ a mexican twist... 'twas a diff kind of "fusion," i guess.   mmmm... some good fud.   we had this coupon that gave us a coupl'a free drinks, cosmopolitans.   kaela had this delicious fried octopus, n' i had this grilled hogfish.   'twas a great dinner.

on thurs... oh now it's fri in cancun... i mean, right now as i'm typing...   well, *sigh* we gotta wake up in like 5 hrs, a li'l less... so i'm gonna continue in 'nother entry...   make sure u read all this, so it makes sense!   i'll try to link it all to make sense.

well, last nite we went to brandie's party.   we gave her a compilation of p.crew fotos in a cute "burnt bread" foto album we got her from that gift/book store in richmond 99 plaza.   the beautiful kaela kang did a really good job organising the pics.   i let her put in some "never b4 cn pics" of p.crew members @ andy's b.day party... that was a wild nite, the 1 back in 1999.   some1 took pics, i think 'twas laura.   then she left the camera @ jaeran's house, n' jaeran developed the pics.   the thing is josh made all these "blackmail" pics by arranging passed out ppl in compromising positions.   bad stuff.   when jaeran gave me the pics, i just hid them.   well, i let brandie have some of the funnier, better natured pics.   some funny 1s of andy.   neway, the party was fun, w/ tons of ppl.   *sigh* i feel so sad that brandie's leaving.   *sigh*   well, i wish her the best.   we had some kewl mixed drinks last nite cos i brought my handspring w/ palmbar on it.   blended chichis, altho' very gurly, r very delicious.   screaming orgasms r 2 delicious to 1shot, but they're shots.

well, 2day p.crewers r s'pposed to meet @ david n' busters in milpitas @ 500p 4 a combined b.day party 4 cal, dave, n' me.   that should be fun.   we'll hang out, then raymond'll take kaela n' me to sfo to leave to cancun.

[later] we went to a laundromat to do laundry cos we wanted 2 machines @ a time; 'twas more expensive.   we bought a waterproof disposable camera 4 snorkeling.   our flight got changed!   we're leaving from sjx insteads of sfo.

last nite lots'a cal taekwondo p.crewers went to brandie's place... actually bruce's place in oakley to hang w/ brandie.   she's leaving to northwestern university 4 law skool really soon.   *sigh* sorry, brandie, we couldn't go.   i was so beat when i got home from werk yesterday...   the beautiful kaela kang wanted to go watcha movie 'least.   i was so tired; i felt sick; i was in a foul mood.   i feel really bad cos i was a lousy companion.   [later] frick! kaela's modem keeps cutting out! that pisses me off cos i wrote an entry just now n' lost it all! grrrr! *sigh*

neway, last nite, kaela drove us out to j.town, took us to dinner @ mifune.   we watched the score.

so man! it's the fri b4 our vacation already!!! it's 302a, early morn.   i've been posting on bjunkyard forums while digesting our late dinner of oodong n' banchan.   2nite, i came home n' watched tv w/ the beautiful kaela kang.   then we went 4 a short jog.   oh, i guess we ate a li'l fud while watching tv, so we didn't need 2 big of a dinner later.   man, 2day, i gotta call the audio rental place down in socal 4 andy's bro's wedding.   *sigh* lots'a stuff to do b4 i leave.   dang, werk yesterday was so frickin' bizzy, n' 2day should be pretty bizzy 2.   what's gonna happen?   jerome's on bjunkyard 2nite 2.   i don't have aim or icq or y! msgr installed on my home 'puter, so i no longer know when jerome's on.   man, if i could make my own speakerfon system, it'd be kewl.   i could put my cellfon on my table w/ my 'puter, n' i could talk to jerome while i post on bjunkyard or write my journal.   it'd be nice cos it'd be a speakerfon, so kaela could join in 2.   hrm... it's not like i can't make sumpthin' like that, but i just don't have that kind of time, u know? [later, afternoon] man! we have 2 doggies in the office! besides "gordie," my neighbouring cowerker's mutt, the accountant has a huge golden retriever named "dusty."   it's the biggest golden retriever i've ever cn!   well, 2day, the beautiful kaela kang visited me 4 lunch, so we went to fresh choice.   i ate 2 much.   honestly, thes past week, i really started to worry that my metabolism is slowing down due to age. *sigh* maybe it's just cos'f my b.day next week; i dunno.

i'd say this is a hell week, but that sounds so negative!   it's definitely a hectic week @ werk cos they want me to finish all sorts'a stuff b4 i leave to cancun...

[later] ooh! so now i'm a mod(erator) on bjunkyard.com! ha ha.   *sigh* that just mean i can do some editing n' have a li'l control over how the forum is run/governed.   really, this is a lesson in politics, i notice.   neway, i feel a li'l bad cos i told bronx/peter i'd be a mod, but then we're leaving to cancun next week, so i'll totally ditch my responsibilities soon.   boy, oh boy...

[later] well, it's been a bizzy, bizzy, bizzy day @ werk, as i sed it'd be.   *sigh* man, am i ready to go to cancun?!?!?!   now i'm gettin' nervous.   well, not scared nervous... excited nervous!   i gotta make sure i don't 4get nething!!!   whew... hey! so... heh heh... i hear there's gonna be a b.day party 4 me this weekend.   ha ha.   i hear it's gonna kick.off @ david n' buster's in milpitas on sun # 500p?   that's what i hear...

well, yesterday was the beautiful kaela kang's b.day.   we had a surprise party 4 her @ joshuya sushi.   'twas a big party, sumpthin' like 17/18 ppl? lessee: kaela, me, cynthia, brandie, laura, jerome, roland, raymond, owen, seunghwan, tiffany, romy, young, jeanna, andy, clarence, jocelyn, jeff... hrm... that's 17.   did i 4get ne1? neway, it was a big party.   it was fun.   we had lotsa sushi.   i was so full; ugh!   they gave us free tempura green tea aisukuriimu, n' i also had jerome n' andy pick up 2 cakes from shengkee.   kaela got some great presents.   romy got her this sexy tie.on, strappy top from china.   seunghwan got her a hanbok shaped air freshener.   tiffany got her an "la" bucket hat.   jefflyn got her a chez panisse cookbook.   n' a whole bunch of us pitched in to get her a canon s110 digital elph camera.   after dinner, we went over to jeanna's to pick up some things.   i also got a chance to play her guitar n' sing some church songs from her praisesong book.   then we went home after simpsons.   kaela started playing w/ her camera.

*sigh* so now i gotta get ready 4 cancun.   we gotta call the hotel to confirm our reservations.   funny, i cancelled our long distance service on our home fon, since kaela has free in.state long distance on her cellfon.   now, we need to call mexico; so kaela bought us a prepaid ld foncard.   yah, we gotta call.   also, i got get werkin' on that wutc sponsorship stuff!   boy, oh boy... i think i need some help!

well, as i mentioned a few times in this journal, i've been hanging out on.line @ bronx's forums.   eh, it's such a bad waste of time!   still, i write thoughts there 2.   i just wrote 'bout my asian name.   well, in chinese it's hwang minglu.   in korean, that translates to hwang myuhngrok.   a long time 'go, i looked up what that means on my korean hanja chart, n' it means "yellow, shiny rust."   that's funny.   neway, that's not what it really means... liane, 'bout 2 yrs 'go, told me the lu/rok wurd refers to a wise man in folktales.   maybe someday my parents'll clear me up.   or maybe they have, n' i just have a short memory.

there's this 1 'merican song that's stuck in my head.   it's a bubblegum pop ballad sung by a gurl.   i hear it on z95.7, but i 4get the singer's name...   [later] i'm still lookin' 4 a air freshener 4 my car... sumpthin' asian n' "cute" n' that matches the interior of my car.

[later] these r the last days of summer.   gotta do all we sed we'd do this summer.   well, i don't think we'll go to 6 flags magic mtns.   oh well.   still, i'm glad we did do quite a bit this summer.   this summer was better than last summer.

[later] i just read that these 2 guys broke into an sf house to rob it.   then the owner caught them.   there was a fight, n' 1 robber dropped a gun.   the owner picked up the gun n' shot both the robbers.   hrm... man, as much as vigilantism might not be a good thing, i like this story.   i feel bad 4 liking it; but i just feel they got what they deserved.   [later] cos i printed out my old beno journal i'm reading 'bout my life back in the fall of 1998.   that was when vivian broke up w/ me n' stuff.   hrm... that was a real turning pt in my life.   i also started to werk 4 this particular company 'round that time.   yesterday, when i got the dedication award, i started thinking how my werk ethics have totally changed since last summer.   last summer, i was so lazy; these days i try so much harder @ werk.   it mostly has'ta do w/ changing depts. n' managers, i guess.   it's just diff.   hrm... maybe fall 1998 was a big change in my life, but the beginning of this summer as a big change in my life 2 since i moved out of hillegass n' in w/ kaela into the new apt.   it's a much diff kind a change, a good kind of change.   hrm... back in 1998, i didn't update my journal as regularly, i c.

[later] we didn't go to the rsf as we planned.   when i came home, kaela was passed out on our bed.   since it didn't look like she'd wake up to go to the rsf, i went jogging 4 like 15 mins.   'twas a short jog, but it felt so good.   i wonder if i can make a habit of this.   hrm... it'd be good, a healthy habit... but we'll c. *sigh* well, as i sed earlier, i've been hanging out quite a bit @ bronx's forums, but in the past week it's been kinda messy there cos there've been several new members that have been using the forums in a way that the members who have been there longer don't like...   i wonder if kids these days use on.line 4ums more than on.line, realtime chat.   it's just that most of the longtime members want to keep the forums more like a place where u post intellegient thoughts n' responses to other ppl's thoughts, like the bulletin boards n' newsgroups that have been 'round 4 a long time now.   the new kids post as if they're just chatting.   i dunno; maybe this is the new trend.   it's not unlike netspam, but they don't cm to understand that's how we view it.   as always, there's the issue of how the internet equalises us, levels the playing field not unlike a car or gun.   if i were a small wimpy guy, i could still kill a big man w/ a gun or by running him over w/ my car.   w/ the internet, u can be some wimpy guy, some ugly guy, some li'l kid... but u can still get just as much respect as ne1 else.   hrm... what if bronx's junkyard required u to have ur own pic as ur avatar. hrm... things'd be diff, huh? ha... i dunno... then it'd look like an on.line meat market.

it's the beautiful kaela kang's b.day 2day!!!!   every1, go wish her happy b.day!!!!   woo hoo!   happy b.day, kaela!

[later] so 2day is a really great day!   yes, it's kaela's b.day!   i hope she's having a good day.   also, my office had a b.day party 4 me n' several other summer babies.   also, my boss gave me an employee dedication award.   he sed it'll be a monthly thing, n' i'm the 1st to get it.   that made me feel good.   wow! well, we ate lotsa bad.4.me pizza n' cake n' had soda.   wow, what a day!

well it's like 100a right now, so it's teknically mon, while it feels like sun nite to me.   we stayed up pretty late sat nite, me n' the beautiful kaela kang.   we discussed all the happenings of sat: the taekwondo promtional exam (the 1st kaela judged) n' the wedding reception.   phew! was such a packed day!!!!   i dunno where to start talkin' 'bout it.

well, on sat morn, we hurried to the rsf, thinking we were late to the black belt mtg w/ dr. min.   ha, dr. min talked to us 2 (the number 2 here).   he acknowledged to kaela that she was doing lotsa werk 4 the world university taekwondo championships.   then he asked if we were going out.   ha ha.   *sigh* i guess he figured it out by now.   well, i judged the green/blue belts, n' kaela judged the white/yellow belts, then some blue belts.   we watched chris barron test 4 his 1dan n' owen test 4 his 2dan.   they had a out of the ordinary test, given by master royce.   i wish i could'a stayed till the very end.   well, actually, right when they finished the real portion of the test, during the interview, me n' jerome had to cut out to go pick up the audio equipment from leo's pro audio on telegraph in oakland.   un4tunately we didn't get to applaud 4 kaela as she received her 1dan certificate.

phew, jerome n' i were so rushed as we got ready to dj the wedding.   kaela got dressed @ the rsf.   we picked her up after jerome got dressed @ his place, i got dressed @ ours, n' we loaded my coffin, cds, n' lights.   man... we were really behind skedule, n' i knew the wedding coordinator was pretty upset 'bout that, i think.   rosie n' robbie were really kewl 'bout it tho'.   well, 'twas a really unique party.   we got fed, a pretty good salmon dinner, altho' the portions didn't fill jerome.   actually, i ate really fast, a li'l bit out of nervousness, so i felt really full @ 1st, then i felt hungry 'gain afterwards.   well, the party was really unique.   robbie's dad kept asking me to play more mexican n' cuban musik.   his uncle wanted oldies rock.   then the young ppl wanted hip hop, altho' i was told not to play ne rap.   well, it turned out pretty well, n' i felt i got to experiment quite a bit.   i saw lotsa ppl i hadn't cn in a while from hs, taiwanese camp stuff, n' college.   phew, i'm glad i got that gig over w/.   well, it was actually pretty fun.   now, i just gotta think 'bout andy's bro's wedding.   i really appreciate jerome n' kaela's help.

well, 2day we were so lazy.   all we did was go shopping... not shopping shopping.... costco, target, long's drugs, safeway shopping.   i kinda wish we could'a done more, but we were so tired.   we ate dinner @ gordo tacqueria on solano.   it's a neat place n' makes me feel i'm in sf.   that was our 1st time there.   i had this carnitas gordo plate, but i preferred kaela's chile verde burrito.   the cms pretty authentic, not so much a fancy, schmancy, contemporary, cali4nian mexican place, u know?   like, i think tacqueira cancun is much more "innovative" but maybe not so authentic.   i think they're both good, just 4 diff purposes.   i'm not a mexican fud expert, i guess.   i guess i'm more of an asian fud expert.   still, i eat many burritos.   we went to costco n' target in the afternoon, ate, n' went to long's drugs, blockbuster, n' safeway after dinner.   we rented yiyi from blockbuster

man, i really liked yiyi.   that kid is so funny.   it's a very interesting movie, altho' many of the relationships in the movie r so scandalous...   *sigh* hrm... the movie is like a taiwanese equivalent to american beauty.   american beauty reminded me a li'l of grand canyon.   i wanna show kaela that movie someday.   neway, i really liked yiyi.   i dunno what i can say 'bout it.   i recommendju watch it.

[much later] well, i'm finishin' up my lunchbreak @ werk.   i went out to the mall.   i actually ate @ sorabol.   i very, very rarely do that cos i feel it's pretty bad korean fud, but i just felt like having some meat n' rice kind'a fud, so i went there n' got dalkgui.   'course it's not spicy, so i asked 4 gochujang, n' they gave me some, not quite 'nuff...   oh well... i walked 'round the mall n' c they've rennovated b.r. n' gap.   it's nice that there'll actually be some men's clothes store 'gain... 4 a while, there really wasn't much 4 guys to buy.   still, marin county men's fashion is 'course pretty conservative.. well, marin county's fashion n' just plain general attitude is way 2 conservative!   [later] so... how r u? *sigh* well, time to leave my cubicle! [later] shoot! man, it's way past my quitting time, but i can't leave my office cos i don't have my office keys! shoot! i gave kaela my key's this morning cos she needed to drive my car w/ the speakers back to leo's pro audio to return them.   i drove her kia 2day.   i have the kia keys, the apt keys, but i don't have my office keys! what was i thinking?! shoot, now i hafta wait 4 the janitors, n' then they can lock up. shoot!

well, then... i can talk to u guys longer...   i'm eating yogurt. u know what i ate this weekend that i like? these snacks called matjjang, kinda like chips... kinda like bugles, but not really. there're s'pposed to be spicy, but they're not really; they're more sweet.

i'm sleepy here in my cubicle... *sigh* i... dang! when r those janitors gonna get here?!   [later] i feel a li'l stomach sick; i think it's from the yogurt.   man, when r those janitors gonna get here?! [later, 754p] yay! the janitors r here! i'm free!

the past, like, 24 hrs has been just really stressful cos i'm gettin' ready to dj that wedding.   *sigh* well, since we needed to eat, we left the apt eventually... kinda late.   we were trying 'gain to eat @ zaika, but it was 2 crowded, as i expected.   we dropped clarence's bag off w/ him.   he left it in my car on thurs nite.   then we went to eat @ happy family chinese restaurant.   we had kkanpoong saewoo (that's 1 of the beautiful kaela kang's favourites, maewoon jjajangmyuhn, n' kong ching chai (the hollow tube veggie).   the fud made me feel better.   sometimes on days like that, i need fud to cheer me up.   it's awful.   it's like being a fud addict, like a drug addict.   i 'member 1nce, a long time 'go, i was having a really bad day.   then we went to dinner @ koryo sootbool, n' i felt so much better.   *sigh* is that ok?   well, let's not think to hard 'bout if it's ok or not.   i felt better.   *sigh* i stress still.   the thing i'm stressing 'bout the most @ the moment is how i'll hafta rush from the taekwondo test to go pick up the audio rental equipment.   grr! is this going to werk out?! i dunno, n' i'm stressed.   weddings r such delicate gigs n' fussy.   i vow to start charging a lot more... after andy's bro's wedding... i dunno how i fell back into being this "pro bono" dj, n' it's not like i'm doing it 4 charitable causes right now, just ppl's private parties... there was a time when i'd dj fundraiser parties 4 free.... in fact, if we had a ucmap fundraiser party, i'd like to dj it.

2day's been a really crappy day so far.   i just feel really stressed n' not well... that's vague, but i just don't feel well.   physically, my neck's sore.   i feel really bitchy n' pmsed, altho' it's not that...   i'm gettin' all the logistics finalised 4 rosie's wedding 2morrow, n' i'm gettin' lots'a stuff done 2wards andy's bro's wedding in sept.   *sigh* i guess, it's not that bad of a day, but i'm just looking @ the bad side of life.   i can't help it... i dunno... i've been feeling lousy.   i was doing laundry this morning, after dropping off the kaela kang @ werk.   laundry went horribly... or i dunno... not that bad, i guess...   grrr! it's just that 1 of kaela's taekwondobok came out of the washer w/ these weird brown stains, so i had to handwash the top 'gain. *sigh* then i went to pick kaela up from werk 4 lunch.   we were s'pposed to go to the new indian restaurant zaika.   it doesn't open 4 lunch!   grrr!   instead we went to cha am.   *sigh* i had this green curry seafud thing, which was not spicy @ all, which made me unhappy.   well, kaela paid 4 our lunch, which was nice of her.   after lunch, we walked 'round a bit on northside, then we went to southside.   i looked 4 cds 4 rosie's wedding @ amoeba.   i bought a couple.   it's really not stuff i normally listen to or play @ parties, but they want this stuff.   hrm... that's 1 thing i don't like 'bout djing weddings, i gotta be so careful what i play.   i really gotta hit the songs on the playlist.   if it's just a party party, i can play just fun, dance songs... hip hop... just whatever... well, not "whatever..." it's gotta be somewhat pleasing to the audience 'course... but the consequences rn't so severe... *sigh* neway, i wonder... why do ppl ask me to dj their weddings n' ask 4 like musik that's so diff from what they know i normally spin?   neway, i don't mean to sound like i don't like my clients! ha ha.   actually, i'll be playing lots'a 80s @ the 2 upcoming weddings.   that's fine.   there's just lotsa soul n' oldies stuff that i'm not used to playing... but i'll do it.   'least i don't hafta mix that stuff, right?

so by simpsons time last nite, it felt like a normal nite.   i cooked zarusoba (meimilgooksoo) n' cut watermelon.   we had a light, simple dinner.   the beautiful kaela kang woke up from her nap.   we were eating @ 1100p, our usual dinner time, 'cept we didn't werk out.   well, we didn't eat much.   it's weird that 2day is thurs, n' so 2morrow i don't come to werk cos it's the 2nd fri of themonth.   this month has 5 fris, tho'.   i talked to my manager 'bout leaving early on the 31st to drive down 4 andy's bro's wedding.   dang! i still gotta find equipment rental 4 that place!   boy, oh boy! it's a li'l stressful, but i hope it'll be fun.   i hope so!

2day, during lunch, i drove out to burger king in san rafael n' ate a chicken sandwich combo, the fried kind... w/ onion rings n' green ketchup.   i didn't find the normal ketchup till after i was done.   i got my car washed @ royal coach car wash.   that area has many mexicans.   many day werkers hang out by the burger king, the subway, n' the wendy's.   on tues nite, kaela bought some figs from andronico's on tues nite when she drove young n' raymond home from the rsf.   i brought some to snack on 2day.   i eat them whole.   am i s'pposed to peel them?   there's that poem "how to eat figs," which is full of sexual references.   2nite we have taekwondo practice.   2morrow, i'd better spend the day getting ready 4 the wedding gig.   i hope jerome can help me 2morrow.

[later] so i found out young has a webpage w/ a journal! kewl!   i'm always happy to find 'nother web journal.   'mongst the taekwondo crowd, we have: me, kaela, joon, n' now young.   un4tunately, as far as i know, jerome doesn't journal yet, n' raymond hasn't started yet.   he should.   jerome should resume 2.

[later] dang! i just resalised that 2nite is the last official taekwondo practice of the summer semester... *sigh* i feel so weird!   i started thinking, "what have i accomplished this summer?"   did i learn the palgwae poomsae?   uhm... sorta.   that's prob'ly my main accomplishment, altho' i don't fully know them yet.   i got refamiliarised w/ poomsae n' a li'l back into sparring, thanks to jason n' his werkouts.   i taught 3 of ting's white belt classes, so i got some extra teaching experience this summer.   that's good, but i prefer not to teach next semester, so i can continue to develop my own stuff.   i do hope that my students from last semester continue tho'.   there'll be plenty of demo team werk to do.   i'm sorta nervous 'bout it, but i tell myself to be optimistic.   i need a good attitude, demo team members, w/ a good attitude, help from master yoon, n' well... shoot lots'a luck.   sam comes back this fri, n' i guess i should discuss future plans 4 the demo team then.   i don't wanna hafta stress.   last yr, there was a bit of stress... i mean, i stressed a bit cos of demo team...   i think most of it was cos it was a bit of a change to a more serious environment... well, it was sorta like we knocked the demo team a step up, i think... shoot, in my opinion... when i 1st took charge of the demo team back in the summer of 1998, honestly, i feel i knocked the demo team a step up... a big step up... lotsa the young'uns don't know this... n' i also don't mean to brag or nething... it couldn't have happened w/o the cooperation of all the demo team members @ that time.   then, this past yr, we pushed the demo team sorta up 'nother step, but sorta diagonally... like we got better in many aspects, but also just changed.   i mean, shoot.... honestly, when we had derrick lee back then?   dang, well, shoot, he was kick@$$ n' did all sortsa crazy $#!+.   well... i think our biggest improvement last yr was the continuity n' of our shows, the "transitions."   techniquewise... technical stuff... we improved some, but it wasn't nething of a great revolution.   'least not on the big scale.   individual ppl, yah, certain individuals really did get better.   i'm glad the women of the demo team stuck w/ it n' got the experience, altho' i know it was hella frustrating @ times 4 them.   of course, johnny was the star freshman of the yr, n' it was fun to werk w/ him... well, i look 4ward to werking out w/ all sorts of ppl next semester... n' well, i'd better start planning... neway, i gotta go now.

2day is sort'f a father's day in taiwan.   father's day in august?   heh heh. well, the day is 8 8... so it's "ba ba" day.   *sigh* my folklore class would've loved this!   i hope prof. dundes knows 'bout this...   really, he mentioned that there's a serious need 4 asian.american folklorists, n' i really wish i could contribute more to this field.   yah, i know he sort'a had hopes 4 me, but i'm sure he's long 4gotten 'bout me since.   neway, if he read my taekwondo folklore paper... ha ha... he'd prob'ly reconsider those hopes he 1nce may have had! ha ha ha. well, i'd like to give a nice "happy father's day" to my dad.   i also'd say it to my grandpa, but heh... i don't think he has web access.   i sent them cards, n' i hope they got them.

i'm writing this on the beginning of my lunch break.   i'm so hungry, but i don't know what to eat.   *sigh* i have my hesitations 'bout going out to lunch cos dang! fud just co$ts way 2 much out here in frickin' marin county! i hate it!   *sigh* still, i don't have 'nuff fud here in my cubicle... so i either hafta go out n' buy lunch or buy groceries.   both r overpriced in frickin' marin county.   *sigh* as u c, n' as u should have cn quite a bit by now; i have quite a bit of resentment 2wards the co$t of living in marin county... n' 2wards much of marin county itself, 'cept 4 the wildlife n' nature... n' the usual abundance of parking.   argh! mmmm... i'm so hungry! what to eat?   shall i just starve out of miserliness?!   i was thinking of just waiting 4 the mexican roach coach to pull into the parking lot.   they serve decently affordable yet questionably sanitary mexican fud.   however, they come so late these days.   if only they'd pull into the lot earlier! dang!   *sigh* shall i go to roadrunner burrito?   shall have ingest more greasy fast fud from mcyukyuk's or taco bell or kfc?   fast fud is cheaper than other stuff, but it's still more expensive than in the east bay or sobay.   *sigh* ugh! i'm starving... ha! i shouldn't say i'm "starving" cos i'm not "starving."   c, that's how obese ppl think, right?   the reason many ppl overeat is that they have this phobia that they're starving... 'least that's what i hear from personal testimonies.   then 'gain, what do i think? it's not like i wasn't bordering on obesity in my early days of college n' last days of hs.   i dunno... yah, i did sorta think that fud was so much more necessary than it is... n' also, i often ate out of boredom n' habit.   how many of u have fasted?   i know many taekwondoists fast to make weight, but how many of u have fasted 4 religious reasons?   i know fahad has.   i know muslims fast during the day during ramadan, n' i know christians who have fasted 4 other, random reasons.   c, if i don't eat, then phil'll say i'm anorexic, so i'd best eat.   u know... last nite i ate so much 4 dinner!   after practice, which was a pretty good practice, i drove home by myself, since kaela drove herself to the rsf cos i had a very, very short mtg to go to earlier.   i started making dinner: i warmed up the soondubu jjigae.   i made pineapple bananabeery smoothies.   as if that wasn't enuf, i heated up a frozen unagi, which is also called janguhgui, so u know...   argh, i felt so full after eating all that!!!   it was awful!   we got to c the pinchy episode of simpsons.

[later] peaches, peaches, peaches.   i've eaten so many peaches lately!   i've bought lotsa peache from safeway.   on sun, i found a 25¢ off 1lb. or more of peaches coupon in the manufacturers' coupon sectin of the chronicle.   dang, gotta buy more peaches, i guess.   gotta spend to save.   neway, i'm finding that lotsa the peaches i recently bought r overripe!!! argh!   that sucks.   what did i eat 4 lunch?   i couldn't wait 4 the dang mexican roach coach, which is actually owned n' operated by a vietnamese guy w/ mexican woman cooks.   i drove out to greenbrae to buy a 0.5 dozen noah's bagels.   i also got some ca$h from the atm. *sigh*

[later] if u'r in charge of the marketing dept of a company, please consider sponsoring the 2002 world university taekwondo championships, which will take place @ uc berkeley next yr!   4 a tax deductable donation, we can give ur company exposure and publicity.   this is an int'l event!

movies, videos, n' movies... we've watched so many movies n' videos this summer, but there r still some we want to c n' have yet to c.   quickly looking @ my y! page, i c: a.i., america's sweethearts, final fantasy, original sin, rush hour 2, the score... we know this sounds silly, but we sorta wanna watch the princess diaries.   what videos should we still watch?   i sorta wanna watch yiyi.   what else?   i dunno... blockbuster doesn't have many non.mainstream movies.   in fact, when i look over @ reel.com, it doesn't look like they have ne recent asian movies, besides like crouching tiger, etc. n' anime.   well, i dunno... *sigh* so what's gonna happen 2nite? will i go to practice, or will i flake out n' be a lazy bum?

[later] i really hate it when guys piss on the toilet seat in the bathroom @ my office!!!!   geez! there're only 2 stalls in the bathroom.   if 1's clogged, there's only 1.   frick... well, 2nite, i think kaela n' i'll just do butt gallery, not taekwondo practice.

[later] i don't feel so good.   *sigh* yah, we flaked on the werkout; not even butt gallery.   i came home n' kaela was watching tv, so i just watched w/ her n' ate junk fud.   pretty soon friends n' voyager reruns were over, n' i felt so sick n' lethargic.   ugh!   so i gave up.   still, i needed to get some logistical werk done 2wards this sat's wedding, so i werked on that. *sigh* i feel nasty cos we didn't leave the apt.   i dunno what to do.   argh! i don't like this feeling @ all.   i need to do produktive stuff!

last nite, i can home from werk n' took a nap b4 practice.   i wasn't sure if the beautiful kaela kang was gonna go or not, but she decided to go after hearing we'd go look @ a cheap fud processor @ long's drugs afterwards.   we got to practice a li'l late.   the "class" was bowing in as i changed.   i felt bad.   we warmed up n' stretched 2gether, then i took owen, riam, n' kaela, n' werked w/ them.   i didn't get all that much of a werkout but my legs r a li'l sore 2day.   i sorta pulled a muscle, i guess... somehow...   i felt bad 'gain @ the end of practice: i left our kicking paddles out, n' well... we ought to pick up after ourselves, n' jason pted it out.   i admitted i did it.   it looked bad.   i was such a bad example last nite!

well, after practice, we did look @ the cheap fud chopper n' got it.   it was really cheap, so eh! we'll c what it can do.   we also bought paper towels n' tp.   my dad always likes brawny; we bought brawny. it was on sale.   then we went home n' cooked soondubu jjigae.   kaela did most of the cooking.   we watched tv n' ate.

man, i hope i'm ok w/ $$$.   i mean, i hope i... [later] i hope i'm not overspending or not budgeting myself.   yah, i worry often... but *sigh* oh well.. well, kaela came to my werk, n' i took her to lunch @ a sushi place called sushiko in larkspur landing.   it was better than i expected, being in marin county.   the rice in the sushi wasn't 2 great, but the seafud was fresh.

man... skeduling... last nite i realised that 4 andy's bro's wedding, i gotta take 'least a 0.5 day off on aug 31.   i 4got that i don't get that fri off.   dang, i hope my manager won't be pissed.   i worry/stress a li'l 'bout these 2 upcoming weddings.

sun was a fun sun! (btw, "sun" = "sunday.")   we woke up in the morn, n' i called roland n' raymond to have a northside brunch.   we went to saul's deli, a ny style joint.   we walked! i finally took a walk on northside!!!   raymond walked over to our place, n' we walked to saul's to meet roland.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i went over to bofa to get ca$h.   kaela saw some flowers she liked, so i got them 4 her.   we had a nice brunch.   i had this deli hash stuff.   kaela had a deli omelette.   roland had challah french toast.   raymond had latkes, which i really like.   i liked the fud, but i felt it was a li'l overpriced.   i felt my portions weren't as big as other ppl's, but then 'gain... i think i've been eating a bit 2 much lately.   i bet my stomach's expanded.   *sigh* well, we went 4 a walk.   we just strolled n' took in the northside sights.   we went to an open house, a house 4 sale.   'twas a beautiful house, but the stairs were 2 steep.   the asking price was $629,000, 3bd/3ba.   neway, we just looked cos we were curious.   none of us'd actually buy that house.   we strolled 4 a while then decided to go watch rush hour 2.   raymond n' roland went home, n' kaela n' i quickly browsed in copeland's.   i can't believe they have so much skateboard stuff there nowadays.   few sporting goods stores, back in my days, had so much skate stuff.   u know, i frequently have dreams where i skateboard, u know that?   sometimes i think, when i have a kid, i'm gonna be so eager to teach him/her to skate, so i can do it 'gain 2.   well, i hope those vans skateparks r still open then!   till then, 'least i have snowboarding! heh heh.

*sigh* neway, we went to emeryville ua to watch rush hour 2. 'twas 5 of us in my forester: me, kaela, raymond, roland, n' andy.   we got to the theatre n' realised parking'd be difficult.   andy n' raymond got out to buy the tix.   they called us n' sed the tix were sold out but we could watch planet of the apes.   we agreed.

planet of the apes... i'm glad we watched it as a matinee!   frick... what was that?!?!?!   lemme tell u, i really think a better ending'd have marky mark land on earth to find it was taken over by horses!!!   after the movie, we ate @ the fud ct.   i got fud from the afghan place.   it was "just ok," nuthin' spectacular.

then we met up w/ others @ musik box.   it's diff now, they changed some stuff... but the ol' neoprint machine is still there w/ our ol' p.crew neoprints stuck to it!!!!   i haven't gone noraebang w/ some of these ppl in ages!   who was there? 1st, me, kaela, raymond, roland, n' andy... then jeff, jocelyn, n' howard joined us.   then jerome n' laura joined us.   then dave joined us.   wow!   i was glad to hear dave sing cos he came w/ us in the past but didn't sing much.   laura 2!   that was the 1st time i ever went w/ roland, raymond, n' howard.   we didn't sing much korean stuff @ all, almost all english.   i felt bad, cos in the past, back when josh was 'round, i know p.crew ppl got a li'l annoyed that josh, jerome, n' me'd sing so much korean stuff that most ppl didn't understand.   i actually didn't sing all that much, in general.   howard's a pretty good singer.   man, i wish i had more time to just play my guitar n' sing...   u know... 'lotta times tho', i gotta do that by myself.   i don't like ppl listening to me sing n' play guitar until i've practiced the song 4 a while.   i don't like it if ppl listen to me practice.

well, kaela felt sick n' tired, so we left a li'l early.   man! what a weekend!   phew! so much stuff!   really! this week, i gotta get ready 4 rosie's wedding.   that's this sat.   i reserved the equipment; now i gotta get the songs ready.   the taekwondo promotion exams r this sat 2.   i really hope they pospone the black belt dinner, so we can go.   c'mon postponed dinner!!! (fingers crossed)   owen's testing.   i hope to practice w/ owen 2nite.

maybe 'twas a li'l warm @ the beginning of summer, but then the berkeley weather took a serious turn 4 the worse.   it was so cold n' cloudy 4 a while.   now, it looks like it's gotten better; it looks like summer 'round here!   not bad!   i like it!   well, yesterday, we went to perry seto's big taekwondo party.   we picked up sally n' a new guy named wei lee.   it was a big party, but perry has a really nice house in orinda.   all sorts of berkeley taekwondo n' hapkido ppl came.   we had a good time.   i marinated some maewoon dalk gui n' dalk ddongjip (chicken gizzards).   the beautiful kaela kang marinated some portabello shrooms.   that was very good 4 alex gray, who doesn't eat meat.   otherwise, there wasn't much noncarnivorous stuff 'round.   after the bbq, i was really tired n' sleepy.   we drove ppl home n' went home, but then we ended up going back out.   andy, jocelyn, raymond, roland, laura, n' jerome were going bowling, so we joined them.   my 1st game really sucked! i came in dead last.   my 2nd game was much better.   i don't bowl often, but i end up going 1nce in a long while.   whenever i go, it's as if i gotta learn all over 'gain.   i thought: maybe if i go really often, i'll just automatically become a good bowler.   then i realised: shoot, some1 could easily say that 'bout taekwondo. if i go really often, then i'll just automatically become a good fighter.   uh... no!   it takes good training, good practice to develop skills.   *sigh* so yah... that's how it is, i'm sure, 4 bowling n' all sortsa other things.   however, i'm sure i'll be a better bowler than i am now, if i go more often.   do i want to go more often tho'?   eh, nah... i just want it to be a social thing, not something i'd do on my own...   just like paintballing! i'd never go paintballing by myself... never!

well, what's gonna happen 2day/2nite?   it's morning right now.   we went to sleep relatively early last nite.   we were tired.   well, jocelyn sed we might go noraebang, (or as she calls it, ktv), 2nite.   yah, i wanna go.   however, i just this morning got an invite to dinner from fahad who's in town.   he's mtg up w/ vince @ 800p.   dang, why can't these guys meet a li'l earlier?   lunch'd be better.   that'd be good. *sigh*   oh well, i'll c how we can balance this thing out.

well, 2day was a kewl day.   oh whoops! by "2day," i mean yesterday.   it's like 300a, right now, so u know how it goes... neway, i picked the beautiful kaela kang up from campus after she finished her werk.   i brought her to sweetheart café to get some boba drinks.   mmmm!   she bought us the drinks. she had a red bean drink, n' i had a lychee drink.   i like this kind of drink: blended w/ milk n' fruit!   i gotta 'member #57!   after getting our drinks, we went to bear basics / futura.   i bought some cal decals that i told master yoon 0.5 a yr 'go that i'd get him 4 his snowboard n' his son's snowboard.   he saw my cal decal n' wanted them.   i also got 1 extra in case kaela decides to put 1 on her board.   we shopped 'round, but didn't find other stuff.   then we went to octopus.   kaela shopped 'round but didn't find nething.   the sales rep was prob'ly pretty bored cos she chatted w/ us quite a bit.   i didn't feel she was pushy, lookin' 4 commission.   she just sounded like she wanted ppl to talk to.   i found a nice pleather coat.   pleather!   i saw a polyurethane coat like it, but i had that bad experience w/ a polyurethane/cotton jacket from br.   luckily i was able to exchange it to buy my leather jacket there.   actually, 'member the story? i exchanged it 1nce after a few months, then exchanged it 'gain after a few more months, n' got the leather jacket.   neway, the pleather (polyvinyl) coat was a really good deal.   i've been looking 4 sumpthin' like that, altho' i was originally lookin' 4 real leather.   jacket? coat? eh! maybe it's more of a "jacket."   neway, pleather: i saved a cow, right? heh... well, maybe that's just 1 more to eat later.... ha, just kidding.

hrm, i used to avoid saying "just kidding," but i say it more lately.   i think it's cos i say it more on the bronx's forums.   i don't want ppl that don't know me to get offended.   otherwise, i usually just say "ha ha," n' forego the "j/k."   neway, after octopus, we called up jerome.   we picked him up.   i told him to bring the gayo/kpop musik show tapes that he rented from koryo video.   then we swung by blockbuster.   we chose the ladies man.   we brought jerome back to our place.   kaela made saewoo pajuhn.   oh, did i fail to mention that we went to pusan plaza after lunch @ pyuhngchang 2day?   we bought some soondae.   i love soondae.   u guys know what soondae is?   4 those who don't, it's sort'f like a rice/blood sausage, w/ intestine as the casing.   kaela also steamed some mandoo (potstickers).   we watched the gayo videos.   seunghwan also came over, but he had a li'l dinner b4hand.   a li'l after seunghwang got to our place, jerome left to watch rush hour 2 w/ a bunch'a other taekwondo ppl.   seunghwan left after watching 1 tape of musik stuff.   kaela n' i tried to watch the ladies man, but kaela fell asleep.   i saw the whole thing.   it was ok.   the best part was the musikal song n' dance bit.   eh! actually, it was pretty funny... a li'l reminiscent of austen powers, but austen powers was funnier.

2nite, we have a bbq @ perry seto's house in orinda, a big taekwondo party.   mmm... i should go to sleep.   i'm typing this entyr on my 'pute in the living room.   kaela's asleep on the couch.

well, last nite we had 'nother good practice.   jason actually had us pracitce lotsa punching.   'twas like boxing.   after practice, some of us were planning to go to dish, the korean restaurant on dwight, but that didn't werk out.   in the end, raymond, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to 168.   oh! but we did c a coupl'a kittens outside of dish.   c, the place was closed; that's why we couldn't go there.   they closed early.

2day, i'm not @ werk.   day off, 'member?   i dropped kaela off @ werk, then went to leo's pro audio to reserve equipment 4 rosie's wedding, n' then went to costco to buy drinks 4 me n' kaela.   man! the cashier almost didn't let me use toby's costco card!   he asked 4 picture i.d., but i just sed i didn't have ne.   i know he knew i was lying cos i had my wallet right there in front of him.   oh well.   i'm thinking he possibly could know toby.   i dunno... maybe he just didn't believe i looked like a "tobias jaw."   hrm... i gotta start being careful now.   he sed next time they'll hold the card if i can't show i.d.   man! i don't want to pay $45/yr 4 costco membership.   that wouldn't even be a bizness membership like toby's, just a gold star membership.   *sigh* neway, later, i took kaela to lunch @ pyuhngchang soondubujip.   k, now a funny thing happened....

i was waiting 4 kaela to come to my car from her lab.   this gurl came up to me, while i was sitting in the car.   1st she asked if i aws korean.   she had a bit of an accent, so i thought maybe she needed help, n' i answered in korean, "no, i'm taiwanese."   then she sed, "oh, that's so curious." (eh, "curious" sounded a li'l odd, but i got her pt.)   then she asked where i learned, n' i sed, oh... i dunno... friends... musik... then she asked if i go to church.   ooh! alarms went off in my head!   uh.oh! berkland! berkland! berkland!   hrm... after quickly processing that question, i came up w/ an answer, "uh... yah, sometimes."   then she asked, "where?" n' i sed, "uh... it's in oakland."   i was really abrupt, n' kinda rude.   then she asked, "do u have some time? when r u meeting ur friend?"   n' i sed, "oh, i'm waiting 4 my gurlfriend, she should be down ne time."   then she looked, like, almost offended n' maybe sed "ok," then left.   i felt a li'l bad 4 being mean, so i sed, "uh... nice to meet u."   ha.   phew... man... i dunno. whatchu think?   maybe she wasn't from berkland.   i didn't want to be so mean, but man... i 'member those days as a freshman! so many berkland ppl or else moonies or other cult members'd always be coming up to talk to me...   when i told kaela 'bout what happened, i told her 'bout my freshman yr experiences n' sed, "they prob'ly thought i looked like some1 who needed to be saved."   most of u guys don't know what i looked like freshman yr.   ha.   well, shoot... i'm really not exaggerating by saying i looked like a telegraph street punk.   maybe not a really dirty 1, just 1 of the fresh runaways...   *sigh*

neway, i didn't want to be so mean cos it's not that i'm a closed.minded christian.hater!   man, far from that!   i definitely believe in god n' jesus n' the bible, as i've sed many, many times in this journal.   i just have a hard time going to church these days.   definitely, i can't be sucked into a church that demands all my time. u know that.   actually, going to christian layman church, back in those days, was pretty good.   they're such a no.pressure church.   u can just go, sit, listen to the sermon, pray, sing...   they don't make u feel bad 4 not joining a small group or bible study or whatever!   it was pretty neat.   i mean, it's not that i'm totally 'gainst small groups or bible study groups...   i just don't have time 4 it right now.

i was thinking 'bout church n' fellowship earlier 2day or last nite... hrm... no, i think 'twas 2day! neway, i was thinking 'bout how lots of the students in taekwondo, their main social group is taekwondo friends.   well, some of them... less now than 2 yrs 'go, i guess...   neway, i was thinking how when i was an undergrad, my main group of friends was prob'ly intervarsity christian fellowship friends.   i hung out w/ owen, like, 1nce a week; but i think my main group was iv ppl.   then there were a few ppl from foothill... like phil, fahad, vince, ed... n' ppl like toby from classes n' random things... *sigh* that was a long time 'go, huh?   i've been thru many phases...   hrm... i don't want to call them phases!   "phases" is reminiscent of "whims."   these rn't periods of my life that i regret!   they just r periods of my life that rn't so much... well, they kinda ended, right? n' i moved on.   i dunno... *sigh*

so how r u 2day?   yah, please feel free to sign my g.book.   a while 'go, my 4mer taekwondo student, anthony signed it.   thanks, anthony.   *sigh* can u believe it's already the 2nd day of august?!   crazy! well, the beautiful kaela kang n' i'll go to cancun this month... only in a li'l more than a coupl'a weeks from now.   crazy!   last nite, we didn't practice taekwondo.   well, if i'm gonna make this summer a vacation, i'll try not to stress 'bout stuff like that.   come fall, i'll have some catchin' up to do, huh?   this summer, perhaps just cos master yoon's not here(?), we've all just taken it a bit easier.   compare this semester to last semester.   man! what a diff!   crazy...   'course i refuse to let it all fall 'part over the summer.   demo team...   all that biz!   we gotta get back in shape!   oh, i think johnny's in town.   i think... cos i got this weird v.mail on my cellfon yesterday morn, where a guy, who sounded like johnny, kept talking to his friend unaware that he was leaving a msg.   sounded like he was trying out a new fon or re.installing a fon... a cordless fon prob'ly.   the msg was actually pretty long.   1tym, laura did sumpthin' like that 2.   i 4got to tell her.   i could hear her talking to some1 @ her old werk.   neway... last nite, i drove kaela to the autoshop in san leandro to pick up her kia.   then i took her to dinner @ kirala.   we just ordered sushi n' robata stuff.   it was very good, n' i was glad we didn't order 2 much cos i know we have a tendency to do that when we order small dishes.   afterwards kaela gave me a haircut.   man, i feel so much better!!!!

[later] right b4 lunch, i thought i smelled doritos n' felt a craving 4 doritos.   then i thought i smelled instant ramen, then i craved instead ramen.   then i went to safeway to buy some fud, possibly some doritos, if i could find some on sale.   i decided not to get doritos but smelled cinnamon buns, n' thought 'bout them.   'member, the smell of cinnabons arouse men.   well, i went to the donut section n' saw some apple fritters.   i thought, maybe i should get 1.   then i thought, wait, i should get some "solid" lunch fud.   they had no premade sandwiches 4 some reason.   i went searching in the frozen fud section 4 lunch: nuthin'.   i went back to the deli section n' chose a li'l bucket of hummous.   i searched 4 pitas but found none.   instead, i bought a sourdough baguette.   i also bought a bunch of peaches n' diet cherry 7up.   whuh?! i dunno, i figured it had no caffeine or sugar, n' 'twas on sale w/ the other 7up products.   i bought 1 6pack.   weird.   what a random way to do grocery shopping.   well, this wasn't "grocery" shopping, it was just shopping 4 lunch n' then a li'l extra.   2morrow's fri, so i won't be in the office, n' i won't eat need ne fud in my cubicle.   i plan to lunch w/ kaela.   we sed we'd go to pyuhngchang soondubujip.   i hafta go reserve the speakers n' amp @ leo's pro audio 4 rosie's wedding.   i still gotta find a place to rent audio equipment 4 andy's bro's wedding.   on sat, perry seto is having a big taekwondo party @ his house in orinda.

happy b.day steve!   i dunno if steve reads this these days, but maybe someday he'll c this.   it's his 31st b.day 2day.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i got him a gift, but we haven't been down to san jo in a while, so we haven't been able to give it to him yet.   steve, u'll just hafta wait a li'l. sorry n' thanks!

[later] yesterday nite, we had a pretty good werkout.   when i got home from werk, the beautiful kaela kang was over @ chals's condo playing tennis.   i washed the dishes.   then i got ready 4 practice.   i got a really good parking space.   i saw jason n' walked in w/ him.   i saw he had no hogu, so i knew we couldn't spar that nite.   we did poomsae n' sparring kick drills, but no actual sparring.   after practice, owen n' i werked more on palgwae.   some1 put in a blur compilation cd.   u know the brit rock group blur?   they were 1 of fahad's favourites when we lived 2gether.   the musik brought back memories.   neway, after practice, i dropped raymond off.   kaela n' i ate a frozen cpk pizza n' some watermelon.

man, lately, i haven't been writing very long entries.   i admit some of this is cos i've been posting entries on bronx's.   i'll write more here 2 tho'. really!

2day, i ate mcyukyuk's 4 lunch, a big n' tasty burger, as they call it.   i'm gettin' all the details werked out 4 djing rosie's wedding next, next sat.   this should be pretty kewl.   i'll be djing andy's bro john's wedding in sept, sept 1.   hrm... getting equip 4 that gig'll be the hard part.   it'll be fun to be involved w/ andy's family life.   this is very interesting.   man, back to djing wedding, eh?   does this make me nething like "the wedding planner" or nething like "the wedding singer"? ha! *sigh* yesterday, kaela's friend linda called.   ha, it's still sorta funny to hear her call kaela "son." she doesn't say it in a korean way either, unlike kaela's family...   so it's weird to hear.   neway, linda's a headhunter.   if ne1 needs help finding a job or a better job, she can help u.   i contacted my ex cowerker chris to chat a bit over e.mail.   after our company laid him off, he's just been having lotsa fun.   he doesn't regret it @ all.   that's kewl.   he's gonna go to se asia 4 a few months this fall.   1st he's gonna help his dad w/ some grape harvest.   i 4get, do they own a winery?   i did pass on the tip that i know a headhunter, but he hasn't replied 'bout it yet.   well, shoot... if he's gonna take off to se asia, he prob'ly doesn't want an engineering job right now.

didju know i misdated yesterday's entry?   i fixed it now.   i went to safeway 2ice yesterday!   1nce @ lunch, 1nce in the evening w/ the beautiful kaela kang after i picked her up from long's drugs, after werk.   we went to practice.   'twas a good practice 4 owen, raymond, riam, kaela, n' me.   we did some paddles, paddle sparring, 2.on.1 sparring, n' lotsa palgwae.   i skipped the paddle sparring n' just timed.   4 2.on.1, i skipped being the 1, n' only did the 2 person team part...   the 2.on.1 sparring was good practice 4 owen n' raymond.   after practice, kaela n' i just went home n' cooked dinner.   kaela cooked her special oyster 'shrooms.   i made some pineapple bananaberry smoothies.   i eat plenty these days.   i got really sleepy after showering.   i read 2 businessweek articles: 1 'bout "buzz" marketing n' 'nother 'bout the sharp increase in werkplace racial hate crimes.   man, that's messed up! u'd like to think there's less racism these days, but mrm... i dunno, man...

i wanted to update my journal yesterday, but i had a li'l technical difficulty, but i solved that.   [later] i finally saw 1 good thing 'bout werking in corte madera: i saw a mutha duck walking her ducklings down the sidewalk by my werk!!!!! they were walking by the movie theatre.   the ducklings got distracted n' went biting @ plants growing out of the sidewalk cracks or something. [later] this week's 'nother 4 day week.   phew.

so what happened this weekend? on sat, i took the beautiful kaela kang to napa.   napa... u really gotta get off the road to c nething nice.   i find contrast btwn napa n' pt. reyes / tomales bay, where u c so much natural beauty, even from ur car on the road.   i took kaela to lunch @ brix restaurant.   we sat outside on the patio w/ a beautiful garden n' vineyard view.   of all the days not to wear sunscreen we had to pick this 1!   well, i don't think we got sunburnt much. phew.   it was a great lunch.   kaela had this broiled scallops dish; i had a chicken salad sandwich.   the chicken salad had a bit of ginger taste to it.   after lunch, we went on a tour of beringer winery.   when i was a li'l kid, my parents brought me to some wineries.   i quickly remembered the smell.

after napa, we hurried back to berkeley to get ready 4 erin's 28th b.day party.   we had a party @ a vietnamese restaurant in sf called an hong.   we had their famous 7 courses of beef dinner.   it was really fun.   afterwards, we just went home.

we saw many videos this weekend: on fri, roland came over; kaela made pajuhn, n' i made dduhkbokki.   we watched best in show n' snatch.   best in show was pretty funny w/ very intersting characters.   'twas a character.based movie, as opposed to a plot.based movie.   snatch reminded me of quentin tarantino films of the 90s.   on sat, after we dropped off joon n' chals, we rented the wedding planner.   maybe 'twas a "cute" movie, but i really didn't feel good 'bout it @ the end.   i felt no1 in that movie had a good relationship.   i would've wanted maria (j-lo) to end up w/ the italian guy cos he cmed much nicer than steve (mcconaughey), but even that relationship would've been still 2 superficial.   geez, can't ppl in romance movies have meaningful, deep relationships?!   'member how much keanu n' charlize theron's relationship in sweet november was so shallow n' unconvincing?   on sun, we watched save the last dance, which was sorta teenybopperish... something that we'll all laff @ 10 yrs from now... still, it brought up some good pts 'bout race relations, i guess.

on sun, we went to the claremont resort to scout out the venue 4 rosie hsueh's wedding reception, which i'll dj w/ my apprentice jerome.   dang! i can't believe we gotta miss the black belt dinner!   that really pisses me off.   kaela'll come w/ me 2, n' it would've been her 1st.   grrr!   afterwards, we went shopping @ stoneridge in pleasanton.   we came home when the mall closed.   it's getting dark so much earlier these days.   we ate mandoo n' watched a li'l tv n' the video.

hey, have u checked out my "links" / sponsors page?   well, u know... if u ever buy sumpthin' on.line, i'd be glad to take a kickback commission from it! [later] maybe this is like what businessweek is talkin' 'bout in this 1 article they have 'bout companies letting consumers do the advertising... nah... that's more like when... was it kia? hyundai? daewoo? i 4get, 1 of the korean car companies, they sold really cars to college students 4 really cheap, but in return, they had to advertise 4 them...   i figure what i'm doing is more like a less sleazy version of 2x2.net... w/o the pyramid scheme.   neway, is there a product i really endorse?   well, i really endorse handspring.   if u wanna buy a superkewl handspring like mine, please use my link. heh. spare change? well, i'll be added many more merchants soon.   man, the .com boom is definitely dead, but i'll pat down its body 4 whatever loose change i can find. ha ha.   neway, i figure i'll make this page, so whenever i do some impulse e.shopping, i'll 'least check on my own page 1st, c if i can get some $$$ back on my purchase, then buy whatever lame, whimsical thing i'm buying... well, shoot... come christmastime, i'll be doing 'lotsa impulse e.shopping, right?   palwoluy kurismasu (christmas in august).

so i'm taking the beautiful kaela kang to napa 2day.   k, as if that weren't yuppyish 'nuff; i'm not bringing ne printed out y! maps, but only y! maps stored on my handspring! ha! can u believe that?!?!   that sounds so pathetically yuppyish, right?!   neway, the restaurant i'm taking her to 4 lunch is s'pposedly 1 of napa's best... but they forbid cellfons in the dining room or whatever.   what backwards ppl!   i almost feel bad patronising them... yet i hear they have some really good fud, so i'll give 'em a shot.

yes, as i sed @ the end of my last journal entry, "not buffalo," we had an intense taekwondo werkout w/ jason.   it really brought me back to the days when i was on the competition team.   wow.   neway, after werkout, raymond, jerome, laura, the beautiful kaela kang, n' i went to the durant fud ghetto 4 dinner.   kaela n' i were gonna go home, n' i was gonna cook dduhkbokki, but we were 2 hungry in the end.   raymond, kaela, n' i went to bear ramen.   i wanted to try their soojeibi, but the gurl sed they didn't have ne.   thus, i asked if they had dduhk mandoo gook, as a somewhat close substitute.   i didn't c it on the menu, just dduhkgook n' mandoo ramyuhn.   i was hoping they could just throw some mandoo into my dduhkgook.   no luck. she sed they just had dduhkgook.   oh well, i just ordered that.   man, i guess 'twas due to the intense werkout, but that dduhkgook tasted so good to me.   after dinner, we swung by kingpin to buy some donuts to go.   i drove kaela n' raymond.   i dropped kaela off w/ her car, which jeanna had borrwed n' parked by her place.   i drove raymond home.   i found out he had bought some gayo cds in korea.   so he's gonna start listening to korean musik, eh?   he had this compilation of s#harp, koyotae, n' dj doc.   i saw that cd in the martial arts room b4 but assume 'twas a cd that jerome had given to brandie.   i didn't realise i didn't give raymond a benomix3jip, so i gave him the copy i kept in my car.   i'm glad i made so many cos i sure am running out.   u know... i'm hoping to make benomix4jip soon.   heh, i can't promise a release date, but i'm trying!   so neway... ha, it's weird to talk 'bout korean musik w/ raymond cos i never knew him as a korean musik fan.   he might as well joing bronx's junkyard w/ the rest of us! ha ha ha.   u know, there's this 1 post i made on bronx's that i'd like to post here 2, when i have the time.   right now it's 216a; i'd best go to sleep.

[much later] well, it's a new day, but it isn't.   kaela pted out a mistake in yesterday's journal: the buffalo fajitas were not spicy.   'course, i'd like them better if they were.   u know that, right?

neway, i sed i wanted to reprint a post of mine from bronx's.   i think that's legal.   i don't think bronx has copyright on my writings on his forum, right? right? uh... i hope not. neway, i don't think peter (bronx) 'd sue me, right? heh.   well, i'm glad i got to talk a li'l on some serious topiks lately, such as affirmative action n' asian hate crimes.   still, i guess most of the guys there don't wanna touch such heavy subjects.   this 1 guy kingka brought up the subject of asian hate crimes.   he's a pretty good advocate 4 the asian.am community, n' i just found out he's not asian himself.   i dunno what he is, n' i don't care; but he brings up some good pts.   on the topik of asian hate crimes, i commented on how this 1 internet folklore about japanese ppl eating babies is really bad 4 the asian community as a whole.   even tho' it cms to be a piece written by a korean 'bout japanese, non.asians will c this piece n' just write off all asians as baby.eaters.   the internet article is very graphic, but apparently the pics were taken from a chinese art exhibit, where some shock artist pretended to eat a baby.

neway, the post i wanted to reprint here was a response to a question some1 else asked: this korean wanted other koreans opinions on the idea of nonkoreans wanting to act/be korean.   i think i'm surround by this topik everyday.   i know some ppl, korean or chinese think i just "wanna be" korean or have no ethnic pride, etc.   4 being a taiwanese guy who is submersed in korean culture i get $#!+ from both sides.   the other day, when my dad came over to our apt, he told kaela that our "please remove ur shoes / shinbaleul buhseusipsio" sign should be trilingual.   kaela worries he thinks she made the sign n' is trying to koreanise me.   i dunno if he knows, but i made that sign!   i thought he knew that n' simply replied that i can't type in chinese.   i mean, i have unionway, but i don't know how to use it in chinese, only korean.   neway, when chinese ppl give me $#!+ 4 doing korean things, that's just wrong... i mean, if i were just a taiwanese guy doing very american or european things, i wouldn't get so much $#!+ 4 it, right?   n' then there'r korean ppl that think it's tacky or lame that i do korean stuff instead of chinese stuff.   i won't be insenstive to some of their concerns, n' that's where my post comes in:

to some extent, i hear where u'r coming from... lemme tell u... k, the way i c it... back in the 80s there were lotsa asian kids that wanted to act japanese.   it cmed like that was just the kewl thing... everything japanese.   i think its just that media focus was on japan.   nowadays, i think in general, more media focus is on korea.   korea's entertainment bizness is really coming up in the world.   kids in taiwan, altho' they're also really into chinese n' japanese musik, r really getting into korean gayo nowadays.   in history, korea has sometimes been known as the hermit kingdom.   japan n' china have fought many battles trying to take over its land in order to conquer all of asia.   for this reason, korea has had to be very wary of outsiders.   because of this, outsiders have become very curious.   maybe nowadays cos korean entertainment is slowly seeping out of korea into other asian countries, other asians r considering it a kewl thing; it's something fresh n' new.

now, what i do worry 'bout is this: will ppl still respect korean culture 1nce all the hype dies down?   u don't wantchur culture to be just some flash.in.the.pan 1 hit wonder, just some trend that'll be 4gotten.   if u'r in 1 day, u could be out the next, right?   that's a valid fear.   now whether that threat leads to more hermit mentality or what is up to koreans n' korean.americans.

oh yah, so the original question was posted in romanised korean, so that supposedly only koreans could understand it.   i read all of it n' understood it.   after my response i wrote in similar romanised korean that, btw, i'm taiwanese, but i understand all of that; i don't speak korean really well, so i wrote in english; sorry.   (actually, i kinda made a mistake in the "i understood it all" part.)   i'm not gonna purposely lie that i'm not taiwanese.   i surely don't mind speaking korean when i have a chance.

neway, yah... i've been writing quite a bit on bronx's these days.   ppl have interesting things to say, n' they're actually not all li'l kids.

[later] on my way home from werk, i stopped by the solano safeway to buy some yangbaechu (cabbage) to put into the dduhkbokki i'm making.   i dunno, i just want more vegetables in it.   i think i've put cabbage in there b4.   i exited on the central ave. exit, n' accidentally went the wrong way on san pablo, so i had a li'l detour.   2morrow, i'm taking kaela to lunch in napa, n' we'll tour a winery.   that's rather yuppyish, huh? oh well.

as i sed we would, we skipped practice last nite.   we went to dinner @ chevy's: jerome, laura, albert, roland, andy, raymond, the beautiful kaela kang, n' me.   that was pretty much our nite.   afterwards, most ppl went over to jerome n' andy's, but kaela felt sick, so we just stayed home.   raymond was w/ us in my car, so he came over 4 a li'l while, but left after simpsons.   last nite, i think i went to sleep @ a decent hr 4 1nce.   i was able to wake up @ a decent time this morning, but i heard 'bout a traffic jam on westbound 580 on the san rafael / richmond bridge, so i just went back to sleep, snoozed.   i still got to werk @ an ok time.

so what's up?   howz life?   u gotta let me know these things!   [later] last nite, i had some "buffalo" fajitas @ chevy's; they were simply beef.   i was a li'l disappointed.   also, they weren't spicy.   still they weren't bad.

[later] we had a pretty sweatty taekwondo werkout just now.   we're in the office right now: me, jerome, n' raymond.   i feel good after a werkout.   it pushed me hard, but i needed it.

man, yesterday evening, i left werk so exhausted.   i almost fell asleep on my drive home.   then i got home, crashed on our bed, n' passed out.   the beautiful kaela kang had come home to eat a snack n' went back to her lab to do some more werk.   i needed to bring some of her werkout clothes n' some taekwondo paperwerk to the rsf 4 her.   i was gonna pick her up from her werk n' then drive us to the rsf 4 werkout.   instead, i woke up to her fon call @ 800p.   i was so muddleheaded.   the dim lite coming in thru the blinds from a cloudy sky absolutely convinced me that it was 8 o.clock in the morning.   i panicked that i was late to werk, as kaela asked me where i was.   i soon had to surrender the idea of going to practice, but i picked up kaela from her werk n' drove her to her car, which she had parked on the other side of campus.   i felt so lousy.   we drove home, n' kaela made kalgooksoo.   i made some almond jello.   we ate those things n' watched frasier n' three sisters.   i didn't all that much enjoy either show.   i werked on some remixes on my 'puter.   i'm glad to have the new monitor roland gave me.   cos i took that deep nap, i ended up staying up pretty late.   i hate when my sleep skedule gets so skrewed up!

'pparently 2nite we'll be skipping a wed nite practice.   jerome called me to let me know that albert (alithair) is in town, n' we should go out.   yah, that'd be kewl, i thought; but i knew i'd be missing practice 4 a 2nd nite in a row.   i feel rather lousy 'bout that.   i feel i've sorta slacked off w/ taekwondo this summer.   i don't wann just be ok w/ it... 'least i don't wanna accept this as the end of my taekwondo life.   that's just doesn't sit well w/ me @ all.   no way.

last nite, we had our mon nite 1geup/shibuhmdan taekwondo practice... well, attendance has been very bad lately.   in our group, we had raymond, clarence, the beautiful kaela kang, n' me... sometimes chals 2.   kaela n' i came slightly late to practice cos of parking woes.   ugh! how can there be so li'l parking during the summer?!   jason led warmups, then we split off into groups 4 whatever specific practice: the competition team ppl practiced sparring, we had our demo/poomsae practice, n' the coloured belts n' chals did some open werkout.   open werkout is good.   i kinda wonder if it'd be better 4 the yellow belts to have more totally unstructured open werkouts.   i did a lot of that in my coloured belt days... 'member how i'd werkout every fri afternoon w/ owen?   'course instruction n' guidance is very important, but i know sometimes students want simply to practice stuff on their own.   i think that helps 2 sometimes.   i mean, 4 1 thing, u can't always have some1 barkin' @chu, correcting u after each move.   sometimes u know what u'r doing wrong, butchu just need a few tries to correct it.   neway, i just noticed a dilemma last nite: some yellow belt got chewed out 4 coming to practice late.   i bet he was expecting a totally open werkout.   since jason was there to lead warmups, yah, the student was being disrespectful 4 showing up late.   still, i'd rather have him come late than not @ all.   eh! geez... taekwondo rank politics... like, i do respect the martial arts rank system; just sometimes things get all messy.

after practice, while kaela was showering in the locker room, i had to get my car out of the lot cos i parked it @ an rsf meter.   since i had time, i returned the malena video to blockbuster n' drove to sweetheart on durant to buy me n' kaela a pearl drink each: peach 4 kaela n' kiwi 4 me.   i picked up kaela, n' we went home to cook kimchi jjigae w/ spam.   mmm...   ah, we had a good dinner, altho' late.   i couldn't go to sleep after simpsons, 3rd rock, blind date, n' a shower.   i caught up on old e.mails i had to reply to.   i posted a li'l on bronx's.   then i went to sleep.   i can't believe july's almost over. *sigh* well, we'll have our vacation next month.   i'm pretty annoyed that the taekwondo promotional exams n' black belt dinner fall on the same day as rosie's wedding. grrr....   in phil's e.mail yesterday, he mentioned debbie gibson; how she was an 80s britney spears but better cos she wrote her own songs.

[later] i ate some leftover kimchi jjigae w/ rice 4 lunch.   i packed 2 much rice.   after i finished most of the jjigae, i had lotsa plain rice still.   in my desk drawer i have a can of honey roasted peanuts.   i ate the leftover rice w/ peanuts.   it was pretty good.   the last few times i went home to san jo, my mom had a jar of planters dry roasted peanuts.   i hadn't had those in a while.   last time we went to san jo, i noticed the jar was almost empty.   did i eat that many peanuts, or did my mom?   i think my mom might like to eat peanuts w/ rice.   u know what's also good? soy nuts.   @ kaela's parents' home, they have a big costco jar of soy nuts.   i think they're a li'l healthier than peanuts.   well, there i go 'gain talkin' 'bout healthy fud.   hrm... maybe phil'll say i've got an eating disorder.   really, i eat fine!   it's not like i'm gonna puke up this spam in a toilet or nething, no.   last nite, after dinner, i didn't do the dishes; i just piled them in the sink.   well, i'll have lotsa dishes to do 2nite.   hopefully, i'll do them b4 taekwondo practice, i guess.   i'm guessing we prob'ly should eat @ home 'gain 2nite.   i'm glad we've been eating @ home more these days, saving $$$.   'course, i don't wanna be antisocial, 'specially not in the summer!   yah, i'd like to have more of those social dinners @ the fud ct, 168, thai noodle, koko house, daruma, etc.   still, i'm not made of $$$.   i gotta pay the rent, bills, etc.   n' there're housechores to do @ nite 2.   i really don't mean to be a homebody tho'.   well, i wonder what we should do 'bout dinner 2nite.

[later] yesterday, using avantgo, i put kaela's current monthly installment of her journal on my handspring.   i don't yet write my journal in monthly installments, so it doesn't fit under 1000 kb, the limit i set 4 filesize on my avantgo.   really, a handspring (or, i guess, ne good pda) can be like a small laptop 'puter.   it's got lotsa uses.   still, it's not like i'm always using mine.

whoa... what a weekend...   whew!   i just read an e.mail from phil, in which he noted that i didn't log an entry this weekend most prob'ly cos i was bizzy doing fun stuff.   true, phil.   u r right.   what a weekend!   i almost don't know where to start, 'cept obviously i should start @ the beginning, on fri.   it's not so much that i don't know where to start, but i'm pretty frightful of the task @ hand.   no fear.   no, it's not 'bout not having fear, it's 'bout experiencing fear n' then conquering ur fear.   i can't believe i've gotta do a weekend wrap up. i'll hafta write so much!   who sez i hafta?   is ne1 4cing me to write?   it's nice to know ppl notice when i write, as phil has.

fri, i got off werk n' drove home thru much commute traffic.   i found the beautiful kaela kang napping in bed.   well, i woke her up, n' we quickly got ready 4 our date.   we packed our things 4 san jo.   i drove down, pretty swiftly, to san jo, where i brought kaela to dinner @ ap stump's.   we had a very full, complete meal of "new american cuisine."   what's that?   well, it's not fusion, it's almost cali4nian, it's not purely european...   it's basically what many ppl'd call nouveau cooking, 'cept "nouveau" sounds a li'l 80s.ish.   also, this fud is really rather american, just as the name sez.   kaela's meal: lobster souflée, striped bass w/ a bit of a curry sauce n' stuffed morrels..   my meal: soft.shell crab salad, roasted duck w/ duck confit n' this chantrelle fried potato thing.   we also shared a green salad n' this "apple moons" dessert, which the waiter gave to us on the house 4 our 1.5 anniversary.   we also had an alsatian riesling.   after dinner, i took kaela to a drive.in movie theatre, capitol drive.in.   we watched the remainder of cats n' dogs, but we actually came to c legally blonde.   it was a fun movie, very reminiscent of clueless, as kaela put it.   well, we were out late, so we just went home to my mom's san jo house n' went to sleep.

on sat, we went to the bronx's junkyard bay area hangout thingee."   jerome n' laura helped us navigate via cellfon to ortega park in sunnyvale.   we arrived unaware of exactly whom we we find there.   well, i had some idea of the ppl's screen names n' 'least their on.line personalities, but we really didn't know what kind of ppl they really were in real life.   1st we identified bronx, peter park.   he was cooking burgers on the barbecue n' welcomed us.   i recognised albert/alithair.   well, also... we right 'way saw jerome (since he guided us to the bbq from my parking spot) laura, n' roland.   we met darren, chris, john, kevin, alex, his li'l sister emma, andy, jonathan, kevin, will, tom... we met 'lotta ppl... 4 some, i only remembered their screen names / handles / logins or else their real life (rl) names.   like, kevin, i only remembered as jin... which isn't his real name @ all; he just uses that screen name cos he likes the singer lee jin from fin.k.l. so much.   ha, these guys r so into the korean gurly groups.   actually, they're mostly chinese/taiwanese, but they're really into fin.k.l. or s.e.s.... or 'least they're really into ne particular 1 of the gurls from these groups...   it's really funny.   oh yah, we also met maverickvns... i think his real name is khoi or something, but i'm not sure... ppl call him "mav."   well, some of the guys went to play basketball, while some of us n' all the gurls sat n' talked.   man! i sunburned my scalp 'gain! argh!   after a while, like a coupl'a hrs, we went to john's nearby house... or actually, his parents' house.   we went swimming.   some guys didn't bring swim trunks, so they just stood by the pool n' listened to my musik n' joked 'round w/ us.   we were just a bunch of goofy young guys horsing 'round in the water.   we did crazy cannonball dives etc.   then the funniest moment of the day... c, john brought us to his house, but then he told us he had to go to werk 4 a coupl'a hrs... he sed it'd be ok if we just stayed there n' partied.   but then.... his mom comes home, bringing john's kid sister to the pool 4 a swim!   they were so shocked to c this bunch of guys gettin' all rowdy in the pool.   apparently, john had tried to tell his mom that he was going to have friends over, but she basically didn't hear him.   well, after peter, whom john's mom does know, smoothed things over a li'l, john's mom entrusted us w/ john's kid sister grace.   she was really funny!   she's 6 yrs old n' really cute.   kaela led her 'round the pool.   grace wore this li'l inner tube thing the whole time.   she really liked splashing me n' chris n' demanding us to do tricks 4 her!   she was so much fun.   well, after we got tired of diving n' swimming, we got cleaned up.   3 gurls showed up very late 4 the hangout thing.   i don't 'member their real names, only their screen names.   well, after we got dressed, we went to arirang noraebang to noraebang (karaoke) n' play pump.it.up (the korean version of dance dance revolution [ddr]).   i didn't do "pump," i just sang.   'pparently, 1 of the korean gurls that came had a bit of hookups @ arirang, so we got a li'l extra time in the room over what we bought, n' she managed to get us the best, biggest room n' the house.   we had a good time.   then we planned out the nite.   i was pretty stressed 'bout this cos i had so many plans to juggle.   i was s'pposed to meet my dad in the morning in san jo, but every1 wanted to go clubbing @ avaron in sf.   well, so kaela n' i decided to pack up our laundry from san jo n' head up to berkeley as a departure pt 4 avaron.   we also picked up kaela's friend cynthia in berkeley.   i called seunghwan, n' he met us @ avaron.   we were pretty late cos of our extra commute to berkeley n' the parking struggle.   still, i had such a good time there.   i really missed avaron.   we didn't drink much @ all, we just danced a lot.   the funniest thing... i ran into anthony doe n' one other of my longtime taekwondo buddies who sez he wishes to remain anonymous cos he can't let ppl know he was in town cos he didn't have 'nuff time to contact all his friends... anthony had me join them 4 a drink @ their table.   it was funny cos i was the oldest guy @ our table but the youngest @ theirs.   then i also ran into nelson there.   ken told me i would.   earlier, while i was in the pool, nelson left me a voicemail, telling me to call him back on his sister's cellfon; but i don't have his sister's cellfon number.   well, it was really fun, avaron... then we went to j.town denny's, the usual thing to do after clubbing.

sun, kaela n' i went to eat dimsum @ the pacific east seafud restaurant in the 99 mall.   afterwards we bought some taiwanese pastries @ shengkee.   then we went to pusan market in oakland to grocery shop.   in the evening, both my parents came up to visit us.   i felt bad 4 not cleaning up better.   in the afternoon, i installed the 17" monitor roland gave me n' was just having so much fun using my 'puter w/ a nice monitor.   now that i have this monitor, i definitely don't need to blow ne $$$ on a flat panel, no need.   thanks, roland.   well, my parents took us to coriya hot pot city in the 99 mall.   we ate so much.   ha... in phil's e.mail he sorta worried that i'm anorexic cos i keep saying i eat so much n' so unhealthily... man, phil... u gotta c what i really eat, i'm not exaggerating!   well, sometimes i make a big deal 'bout eating fattening fud... i try to eat lean but eat enuf.   really, u can c some swimming pics i have from jay, kaela's bro.   i mean... since u get to c my less than fully clothed body, u'll know i'm not anorexic.   i just talk 'bout fud 'lot.   neway, after we strolled 'round the mall a li'l, my parents dropped us off.   then kaela n' i went to blockbuster to rent a movie.   we chose the italian film malena.   it reminded us of my life as a dog, n' i'd also say a li'l of life is beautiful, just cos the setting...   i really liked this movie.   u know, this weekend, thru film, we've really studied discrimination 'gainst beauty.   don't hate my gf cos she's beautiful.

didju guys hear 'bout the carcinogens in many soy sauces? ugh, this stressed me out cos 'course i eat lotsa soy sauce!   'least @ home, we use kikkoman, but i never know what brands restaurants r serving me... even if they have a kikkoman container on the table...   kikkoman is safe n' owns most of the american market.

[later] imagine this short conversation:

person 1: wisdom has 2 parts: 1) having a lot to say, and 2) not saying it.
person2: shutdaf**kup, b**ch!

2day is me n' the beautiful kaela kang's 1.5 anniversary of gettin' 2gether.   happy 1.5 anniversary, kaela!   i love u. :-)   well, i'm going to take her out to dinner in san jo.   i hope she likes the place.   it's s'pposed to be 1 of the best restaurants in san jo, 'specially in the actual city of san jo, as opposed to saratoga etc.   i want to show her a good time, so i hope she likes it.

well, 2day is fri.   that's good.   it's a sunny day in marin county.   as much as i can't stand marin county society, i guess i'm glad it has nicer weather than berkeley has right now.   last nite, practice was fine.   we did poomsae n' paddle kicks n' even some 1steps.   i liked that combo.   dr. lieu taught.   it really werked out well 4 me.   some nites it's good to have jason teaching, some nites dr. lieu.   afterwards, some of us hung out: christina park, seunghwan jeon, owen, clarence, kaela, n' i went to daruma to eat dinner.   ha, the owner is such a nice guy, i say... even tho' i really don't patronise that place all that much, he thinks of me as a regular.   if only he knew how much bizness the ol' party crew gave 168.   whoa, he wouldn't really consider me much of a regular then... well, i hope he never finds out.   ha ha ha.   oh, coincidentally, joon, karen, n' owen went there earlier this week.   u can read joon's acct of the place in his journal.   as he sez, it's a japanese restaurant run by chinese ppl who speak korean.   last nite the owners had some guests.   they were speaking mandarin amongst themselves.   we sorta watched the simpsons there, but i guess seunghwan n' christina had li'l interest in the show.   neway, they're kewl ppl, n' i like how seunghwan is so up 4 funstuff.   that's good.

2day, i went to roadrunner burrito in greenbrae to claim my free burrito after 9 purchased burritos over these past few months.   i had a baja burrito, which has both chicken n' shrimp.   i really liked it.   i'm pretty sure i saw 1 of my 4mer taekwondo students there, this gurl named yasmine... i think.   she knows kaela.   i'm not sure if she recognised me, but i'm sorta glad she didn't talk to me cos uh... i only think that's her name.   i think her last name is gomez.   i've always tried to get to know all my students to some extent.   i figure it's only courteous n' makes 4 a more pleasant learning environment.   i really want my students to have a lifelong taekwondo experience, as i plan on having.

well, i gotta admit; life these days does cm rather crammed.   i know i'm squeeze every drop of life out of this summer, trying to do all the fun activities i can.   i'm trying to socialise as much as possible.   however, i do want to have some time to do kaela/beno stuff.   well, 2nite's good.   sometimes, i think i just need more time to do stuff all my chores... i gotta get rosie's wedding dj gig all straightened out.   there's things i want to do in life... *sigh* i want to do so much, i know... u prob'ly think i need to make some sacrifices, huh?   *sigh* priorities, priorities, priorities.   listen, i did skip 2 taekwondo werkouts this week... 2 of 4.   this is how i rest up.   well, summer... it's alread july 20.   maybe i'm having a bizzy summer, but i'll sort things out.

[later] i'm a clean guy; i wash my hands after i pee.   2morrow the ocf server might be down.   i won't have net access neway.   if i write an entry, it'll be on my handspring.

i wonder if i should buy a serial cradle 4 my handspring.   if only it were cheaper...   if i had a serial cradle, i'd write more of my journal entries on my handspring n' upload them to my werk 'puter then cut n' paste them into the telnet screen.   last nite, i turned on my usb port on my home 'puter.   cos my usb port wasn't werking, i've been hotsyncing my handspring on the beautiful kaela kang's 'puter.   i haven't installed the handspring software on my 'puter yet.   last nite, i took all the neoprints off my old 14" monitor since i'm switching it out 4 the 17" monitor roland snagged from his werk 4 me.   thanks, roland.   i thought i had a 15" monitor, but i had a 14" monitor; it's so small.   i guess i could sell it off, right?   my dad bought that monitor 4 me along w/ my 1st pentium 'puter, a pentium 60, the 1 w/ the flawed chip.   my current 'puter has some salvaged parts from that... well... maybe just the floppy drive.   we still haven't gotten the floppy drive controller on kaela's 'puter to function.   well, last nite we missed practice.   should i say missed or skipped?   i wanted to go, but we both fell asleep n' woke up 2 late.   in a way, maybe it was better 4 me since i'm sick.   still, i wanted to go, so i figure i missed practice more than i skipped practice, right?   i didn't skip on purpose.   i don't wanna get 2 out of shape.   in fact, i'd rather be in better shape.   i really do.   i gotta make a plan, a promise, a contract: i gotta tell myself i'll do some exercises @ home if i miss practice.   back in the days when i missed practice a lot, the summer i got 2gether w/ vivian, i 'least told myself i'd do 50 pushups n' 50 situps @ home whenever i missed practice.   owen had some part in coming up w/ that plan; i 4get exactly what he sed, but he influenced me into making that plan.   nowadays... i don't even have a plan like that... 'course back then "missing/skipping practice" only meant missing/skipping on tues/thurs.   nowadays "missing/skipping practice" means missing/skipping on ne mon thru thurs nite.   besides wanting to be better in taekwondo, i just worry 'bout my physical shape.   i don't wanna get flabby.   it's been 2 long since i lifted weights.

@ home last nite, we warmed up the leftover ggongchi jjigae n' the pajuhn.   i made some bananaberry smoothies.   since there wasn't much of the leftover fud, i also microwaved a healthy choice french bread pizza.   that sounds like a lotta fud, doesn't it?   i dunno; it was ok.   we watched buffy.   i don't like 2 much tv programming, as i always say.   how can i stand buffy? well, i had a choice btwn the west wing n' buffy.   i knew the west wing has won all sorts'f awards etc., but i still chose buffy.   it's hip, i guess... but i didn't merely give into trendiness!   buffy reminds me of japanese anime.   it's sorta cheesy but funny n' action.oriented.   yesterday's episode had this vampire spike acquire a robot version of buffy as a... well, sextoy... but she also went 'round in public n' talked to all of buffy's friends n' could slay vampires like the real buffy.   c, doesn't japanese anime always have some pervert n' perverted situation like that? some robot replica of some chick a guy wants? yah, right? stuff like that happens in anime! buffy's like power rangers 4 older kids, right? heh.   well, i hear it's moving to upn from wb.

[later] i went to mcyukyuk's 4 lunch.   i walked there.   it was rather bad4me fud.   i've been eating unhealthily lately.   honestly, it's awful.   so sat is the bronx's junkyard get2gether.   on sat morn, we'll c my dad.   man, 'nother bad thing 'bout our skipping/missing practice last nite is that i was s'pposed to meet nigel @ the rsf last nite.   maybe he'll find me 2nite.

a few weeks ago i read on yahoo! news that cellfon manufacturers r teaming up to set standards on cellfon games.   motorola, nokia, n' ericsson, i think, r teaming up, altho' they r competitors.   that's good.   i like to hear 'bout teknology moving 4ward.   also motorola needs to make their fons more fun.   right now, their fons have such an executive biznessman's image.   ick.   well, i have a motorola.   my last fon was a motorola 2.   i figure they're quality products, altho' not as flashy as nokias.   i dunno... i wonder what my next fon'll be.   honestly, i'd rather have the lg510 right now than the v8160, i think.   'course motorola has their v60c.   i read, i think on cnet, how research is proving that cellfons don't cause nearly as many car accidents as ppl try to say they do.   is cnet where i read it? i 4get.   i dunno; i'd still advise having a handsfree kit.   i say that, however i, in no way, endorse outlawing cellfons in ne way.   that's such backwards thinking, i tell u.   teknology has got to move 4ward.

last nite, ugh, i felt so sick... but i went to practice.   well, i came home from werk, n' the beautiful kaela kang had gone to the rsf to werk out on the butt gallery.   i got my things ready to go to practice.   i watched the korean news while i packed.   i learned that a crane atop an old department store bldg fell thru the bldg's roof to the bottom.   they talked 'bout a big traffic accident in the rain, a sex scandal @ a noraebang place, n' the popularity of coloured contacts.   then i went to practice, driving kaela's kia.   i was happy that practice started out w/ poomsae, since i didn't want to overexert myself due to my cold.   after we finished poomsae, jason led sparring kick drills.   man, now i was pushing myself!   after practice, i was glad to chat w/ ppl.   jason n' a bunch were going to henry's bar on durant, but i told them i was 2 sick to party like that.   i still ended up hanging 'round the rsf till it closed.   then i had tons of errands to do.   i had to get $$$ from owen n' pick up my car from albany subaru n' a new 'puter monitor from roland.   i didn't know how to juggle these errands n' still get to eat dinner n' have raymond show me more pics from korea.   in the end, it werked out: kaela drove me home where owen was waiting 4 me.   raymond came over.   owen gave me $$$ then drove me to albany subaru, while kaela cooked pajuhn n' ggongchi soup.   i picked up the monitor from roland after i got my car.   dinner was so good.   we watched the demo video tapes that raymond picked up 4 me in korea.   we kept cing mijung choi n' others we recognised from yong.in.   that was kewl.

2day, during my lunchbreak, i drove out to the richmond costco to pick up pics n' buy film.   in the end i also bought some d batteries 4 my boombox n' a pair of levi's silvertab jeans, cos they had such a good price.   i figure i might as well retire the ol' structure jeans i've worn so much.   i now have 2 pairs of jeans that i can wear on a normal basis.   i bought a polish sausage w/ a drink n' a butter pretzel from the snack bar.   i don't eat hot dogs much, not the full fat kind; but i was very hungry n' had no time.   it was very good.

yuck, i'm sick.   i skipped practice last nite to rest.   if i had gone to practice u'd all chew me out 4 being crazy, right?   well, i skipped practice n' rested.   then the beautiful kaela kang took me out to pyungchang soondooboojip to eat soondooboo jjigae.   i ordered mandoo (dumpling) jjiggae, n' kaela had buhsuht (shroom) jjigae.   man, since i was sick n' cold, it was even more delicious.   i really liked the skin on the mandoo.   after we ate, we went back home, n' soon raymond came over to share his korea trip pics, give us presents, n' pick up his dsl modem.   it cms like they ate so much in korea.   they didn't werk out as much as when we went 2 yrs 'go.   that time, i ate 'lot n' werked out 'lot.   i wasn't used to eating so much n' got a li'l sick 2ward the end of the camp part of the trip.

[later] i brought a healthy choice frozen dinner 4 lunch.   my company had some very important guests 2day, so they ordered all this nice fud 4 them.   in the end, they never had lunch; so we employees got to dig in.   man, we had so much fud.   they had 5 0.5 roasted chickens, a big vat of mashed potatoes n' italian vegetables, nice, fancy vegetables.   it was all from il fornaio.   i had a 0.25 of a chicken n' tons of taters n' veggies.   i'm stuffed.   oh yah... n' earlier, i ate that frozen dinner, u know? frick... unh! stuffed! why did i gorge myself so?   i guess i figure "whatchu gotta do is feed a cold!"   that's from some cold medicine commercial some years back.   sometime this weekend, when kaela was hungry, i told her i'd "put the gorge in gorgeous!"

the albany subaru ppl just called to let me know my car's ready.   i dunno if i'll have time to pick it up till after practice.   i drove kaela's car to werk 2day.   i couldn't use fastrak.   i wonder if kaela should get fastrak 4 her car... i dunno; i think only the 1st yr u have it gives u discounts, so she should save that till a yr when she really needs to use bridges or toll roads, u think? i dunno.   my travel wallet still hasn't come in.   i e.mailed the company, n' they gave my a tracking number.   from the ups website, i think ups might be having some prob w/ delivering it.   i think it might be cos i asked 4 it to be delivered commercial ground n' my office doesn't subscribe to ups pickup service.   that might be the prob.   now what do i do?   i e.mailed ups to ask that. unh! i'm so stuffed.   i'm trying to drink lotsa water.   i wish my office weren't so cold!

well, it's mon.   i dunno if u can tell, but these days i'm pretty wary of mondays.   oftentimes, they just rn't 2 good: i have lotsa werk to catch up on, i'm not fully awake, i 4got what i was werking on b4 the weekend, i have a hectic werkday, then i go home tired, i go to practice, then by the end of the mon nite, i feel really beat.   i fear mondays.   i wonder what life'd be like if i shifted my weekend over, if i had fri/sat as my weekend, n' then sun were my mon.   what if?   i dunno.   it's actually a pretty sunny mon! that's good.   from the dimness of the light that sneaked past the blinds of our bedroom window, i 4casted a rather dreary, overcast day.   after i started up my car in the carport, i turned on the headlights.   then i caught a glimpse of surprisingly blue sky.   as i backed out of the carport, i decided to shut off the headlights.

i'm sick w/ a cold.   i have a sore throat.   i'm drinking lotsa water.   a week or 2 'go, i felt i had a sore throat, which i thought was surely a prelude to a full on cold.   the cold never arrived.   maybe i prevented it by drinking lotsa water.   i believe i can do that n' believe i've done it in the past.   i don't like admitting i'm sick right now cos i don't wanna believe it serves me right 4 running 'round in such summer clothes altho' the berkeley weather has been torturing us w/ lotsa very unsummery conditions.   altho' berkeley had some dreary skies last week, oftentimes i'd drive 'cross the bridge to find sunny skies in marin county.   still, last week, by far, was no scorcher.   must we talk 'bout the weather?

i really like moonhee's latest entry; please check it out.   the news that bronx had to take his forums down yesterday due to hackers really disappointed me.   man! along similar lines to what bronx sed in his front page announcement section, which is slowly evolving into a bit of an online journal (whether he likes it or not), i really hate how ppl use the internet to harass.   i've cn that kinda stuff 1st hand.   u get wimpy guys who know they can't handle real.life confrontations, so they hide behind a 'puter screen, keyboard, n' mouse n' say things they'd never have the guts to say in person cos they know they'd get knocked the f!#% down in no time.   neway, i like bronx's junkyard forums.   it's the only on.line forum / bulletin board i've really gotten into, 'cept 4 the p.crew y! page, but that doesn't count cos i knew all those ppl in real life 1st, right?   neway, we're gonna have a real life bjunkyard get2gether next weekend in sunnyvale.   i hope that turns out kewl.

my summer plans r really gettin' botched cos all sortsa events r ending up on the same weekends.   in my ideal, i'd have a diff thing to do every weekend.   instead, it looks like stuff is coinciding on the same weekend, n' then i end up w/ an empty weekend the following week.   *sigh*   my summer plans took a giant hit when i found out the taekwondo promotional exams'll be the same day as rosie's wedding, which i'm djing.   frick!   what the heck?! they were s'pposed to be on aug 18!   *grumble* *grumble*   well, i guess i'll still judge the exams, but i won't be able to go to the black belt dinner afterwards if they have it that nite.   regardless, i won't be able to do ne post exam partying.   i can only tell them that i have a wedding to go to n' then cut out.   *sigh* if we gotta miss the black belt dinner, i'll feel the worst 4 the beautiful kaela kang cos, if she comes w/ me to the dj gig, she'll be missing her 1st black belt dinner.   also, i hope jerome'll still come to help w/ the gig.   frick...   next weekend, my dad is coming to town to c our new place.   well, i think i can accomodate this last min plan, but we still want to be in the south bay 4 bronx's get2gether.   uh... n' well, we had some plans 4 sun to check out napa valley.   frick, i know u'll just say we're 2 ambitious, huh? that we try to do 2 many things.   "oh well!" that's all i can say to that.   yah, we're young n' ambitious, y que?   what're u gonna do 'bout it? there's things we want to do, places we want to go! maybe that includes trying jack's new sourdough grilled chicken club or maybe not. (have u cn the latest tv ad? i'm playing off of that.)

the absence of a j.box in my snobby area of marin county slightly upsets me.   if i want j.box, i need to drive out to novato.   that's the only area of marin county that has ne normal biznesses!   mike shea was telling us on thurs nite (@ koko house) how he used to live in novato.   i slightly felt like eating some late.nite fud after leaving the abzolut party @ club ibiza on fri nite.   we left a li'l early cos kaela had a stomach ache.     'twas a pretty big party, by what i'm used to as of late.   nelson thought it wasn't 2 big, but others sed it was much bigger than the abzolut parties @ ibiza in the recent past.   ibiza is a hotel w/ a big outdoor plaza.   the whole place was a big party.   as kaela sed, it was like a house party @ some1's own big mansion.   i liked most of the musik n' the free neoprints.   jerome mentioned that the gurls there were all really tall, n' i added that the guys there, as well, were on avg pretty tall.   is that just the crowd @ abzolut? i wanted to get a pic of kaela in her outfit, but i was waiting 4 a good time in order not to get 2 much crap 4 being 2 vain or whatever...   i thought i heard a comment 'bout "taking pictures of each other" while the big group of us was @ the neoprint machine.   i really wanted to enjoy kaela's outfit more.   does that sound funny? ha, 'course i don't mean to say i wanted to wear it.   *sigh* still, i just wanted to look @ her more that nite n' wouldn't have minded getting a pic of her.   what can i do? i'm just so into her.   maybe u think i sound kinda superficial, tho' cos i'm talking so much 'bout her looks.   well, i like all things 'bout her, her looks is just 1 thing.   i admit, tho', i am a guy who notices things like looks.   as i sed b4, i try not to judge ppl's worth by their looks, but i know what my personal preferences r.

neway, so we were @ abzolut on fri nite.   our group was: jeff, jocelyn, roland, andy, jerome, laura, jeff's friend randy, erin, howard, kaela, n' me...   i very easily found nelson there.   he introduced me to all sortsa ppl whom i sorta 4got.   i did originally come to the party to dance n' hang out w/ the taekwondo bunch, altho' i did want to catch up some w/ nelson.   i saw ol' leland ppl, some i talked to, some i didn't talk to.   we saw peter yen there.  

on sat, we headed down to san jo after eating leftover jjajangmyuhn 4 lunch.   we went to valley fair to return the br potpourri n' candles kaela bought last week b4 our big crabtree n' evelyn spree on thurs.   oh, did i fail to mention that?   we spent some of my $128 crabtree n' evelyn gift certificate that came from my double my cashback discover card program.   we bought some things, n' the cashier gave me cash change 4 the rest of the amt of the gift certificate.   she didn't know she was s'pposed to give me store credit only.   oh well, good 4 beno.   well, @ valley fair, kaela bought some clothes.   i feel i never have clubbing clothes when i need them, but i didn't buy nething 4 myself.   afterwards we met ken n' grace, nelson, ryan, n' billy @ dansuhngsa, the place where youngi werks.   shinwha came later w/ her bf leon.   i thought she had a diff bf, but i guess i just don't keep up w/ her life 2 much.   oh yah, ken's friend danny kwon was there 2.   he's always given us free dry cleaning @ his parents' store.   i hear he recently sold a startup company in l.a.   he's now werking as a loan officer in san jo.   i told him my mom's a realtor.   he sed maybe they could help each other out.   well, maybe.   oh! @ dansuhngsa, i actually did noraebang (karaoke) in front of the whole place.   i sang solid's "i bamuy kkeuteul jabgo." (holding onto the end of this nite)   after eating, drinking, n' hanging out; we left dansuhngsa n' went to ken's deanza store to just sit 'round.   we watched remember the titans on dss.   then we went home.

on sun, kaela n' i helped my mom cut down some shrubs.   we had dinner @ tainan in the cupertino 99 plaza.   we looked 4ward to the sam bei? ji (the basil chicken), but the use of boney wings 4 the meat disappointed us.   we also had taiwanese jiajiangmien.   we walked 'round.   we had tsua bing @ 99's deli.   afterwards, we came home, we watched a kqed documentary on horses, since the simpsons was postponed by the giants baseball game.   we ended up missing the simpsons.   i tried to get ahold of ken cos i needed to get jay's handsfree kits from him, but i couldn't reach him.   we started on the road back to berkeley.   since i felt a sore throat, i tried to stop by a starbuck's on almaden rd. near willow glen 4 some hot cider.   i didn't know 4 sure if there was 1 in that strip mall, but i do know it looked like a strip mall that must have a starbuck's by now.   i was right, however the cafe was closed.   dang.   we stopped @ a starbuck's on mowry, off 880.

well, i guess we'll postpone our napa exploration till later.

i feel pretty sleepy 2day.   i'm doing random digital chores.   that's what i'll call it... i'm uploading pics n' stuff like that.   i put some kaelapics on my handspring.   i sed i'd try to do dj stuff 2day.   i timed some songs.   i'm listening to the daft punk cd right.   it's sorta teknorock; there's lotsa guitar in it.

last nite, after practice, a bunch'a us went to koko house.   we didn't stay out 2 late, luckily.   it was fun, altho' i guess me n' the beautiful kaela kang ended up paying more than our fair share, now that i think 'bout it.   we got there a li'l late n' didn't get to eat much of what was ordered.   this morning, i drove kaela to her lab to pick up some pipette tips.   we brought them to emeryville to exchange 4 a diff kind.   then we ate lunch @ kabana on university.   [later] kaban is a pakistani/indian restaurant.

i'm so full now.   it's a fri eve.   we just ate dinner.   i cooked jjajangmyuhn.   it turned out pretty well.   'round 600p, i went out to pick up kaela from werk, then to give jeanna's roommate christine my set of jumper cables cos jeanna needs them 4 her car.   then we went to northside safeway to buy some groceries.   kaela saw some donut peaches n' thought they were so cute, so we got some.   then she saw some hostess snoball cakes n' thought they were so cute, so we got them.   well, we got fud.   so did i get stuff done 2day?   yah, i did.   i got some ideas 4 mixes.   i need time to werk them out all the way.   u know, my handspring comes in handy w/ stuff like this.   i have beat counter programs on it.   i also can write mixes down on them... 'course i could also use paper, but eh!

so i just talked to nelson.   apparently, we both had plans to go to the same club 2nite, to the abzolut party.   kewl.   so i'll c nelson.   yah, he's back in san jo, back from hk.

2day is thurs, but it's like fri cos i don't werk 2morrow.   last nite, i was so tired when i got home from werk cos i went to werk early.   i left, well, pretty much on time, not much earlier than usual.   i needed gas.   instead of filling up @ the beacon in corte madera r $1.799, i went to the shell on san pablo n' marin.   why? cos i wanted a free, brushful carwash.   i needed to wash of the paint marks from the time i scraped 'gainst the carport post pulling into the beautiful kaela kang's spot.   also, this weekend sometime, some1 scraped the other side of my car!   i dunno when... sometime this past weekend.   i figured i could use a brushful carwash.   *sigh* sometime, i'll need to apply some touch up paint.   i dunno... i could file an insurance claim to fix up the scratches, right?   i dunno; it's ok.   i wanna nice looking car, but i don't wanna always be shellin' out $$$.   *sigh* that's life.   'course i've been shelling out more $$$ these days in general, right?

well, when i got home, i passed out / fell asleep.   kaela had already done a butt gallery werkout @ the rsf.   we shoulda gone 4 taekwondo practice, but we were asleep.   then we woke up.   i went to northside safeway to buy groceries.   i drove, but 'gain when i got there, i wondered, "why do i drive to this place? it's so close!   this is how ppl do stuff in almaden valley."   i bought a whole buncha stuff.   i also bought 1 superlotto ticket, just 4 the heck of it.   when i got home, i put 'way the groceries.   that was quick.   then i clipped the sun hong kong coupon from the back of the receipt.   then i got ready to make some berrybannana smoothies.   whoa!   i had left a bag of groceries @ safeway!   i hurried back.   i asked the cashier 'bout it.   she cmed to understand that i left a bag, but she didn't know where it was.   she was very nice tho' n' let me go grab whatever was missing n' just take it.   i sed i had the receipt w/ me.   hrm... i coulda tried to get away w/ a bunch of really expensive stuff, huh?   well, since i felt a li'l inconvenienced by the matter, i felt it was only right 4 me to grab 1 extra thing: carrot juice? cherries?   mmm... cherries r more expensive than odwalla carrot juice, altho' both r relatively overprice items @ this safeway.   i went to the checkstand, a new cashier was on shift, but he was aware of the situation.   he just bagged my groceries w/o looking @ the receipt i offered.   funny, he had barely had to use 2 bags cos 1 item, the ground turkey didn't fit.   @ that pt i was glad i didn't try to get 'way w/ a shopping spree cos... well, the story wouldn't make sense: i left 1 bag of groceries but come back to the checkstand w/ 5 bags worth of groceries?   neway, i'm not out to be a greedy guy; i just figured i was justified.   when i got home, i finished making the smoothies, n' kaela had started to make zarusoba / meimilgooksoo.   she asked 4 the green onions.   uh... man, i didn't get a replacement bunch of green onions!   well, i traded green onions 4 cherries then. *sigh* i suggested we make a asian fusion dish: zarusoba w/ basil instead of green onions.   we tried it.   it was ok.   i also put sesame seed (salted).   kaela sed it wasn't as good...

[later] as i always say, u gotta check my journal multiple times a day to c if i updated it cos i do, even if i don't c "i'll write more later."   kaela came to my office.   i took her to this restaurant called sushi island in the corte madera village mall.   we were trying to go to dragonfly, but they got evicted.   it was nice that we got to experience it while it was still 'round.   i surely hope shanghai 1930 n' xanadu stick 'round.   i still haven't been to betelnut.   i don't werk 2morrow.   some ppl r talkin' of going to the abzolut club party @ ibiza 2morrow nite.   yah, hopefully.   what else is planned 4 this weekend?   i dunno.   as i sed yesterday, i hope to get some dj stuff done 2morrow during the day.

i was reading joon's journal just now, n' it reminded me to get to the pt w/ my journal entry.   green onions 4 cherries: that's such a moral dilemma, huh?   well, i'm not a hardened criminal, i don't think, cos i tried to justify my cherry pilfering.   i figure, if i were a hardened criminal, i'd just leave it @ the world owes it to me... or i deserve the cherries cos safeway's 2 stoopid n' naive.   u think?   neway, now let's ponder the idea of my 4getting the green onions.   buddhist'd say it was karma, right?   i did a bad thing, n' thus i it came 'round back to me in the 4m of 4getting the green onions.   christians might say god was talking to me by making/letting me 4get the onions... he's warning me not to do things like that.   hrm... well, was taking the cherries wrong?   it was a small thing, n' if i didn't reimburse myself 4 the inconvenience of coming back to safeway, i'd be letting the world use me as a doormat.   or maybe i should've explained to the cashier, "since u guys didn't remind me not to 4get the bag of groceries, i think u should let me take these extra cherries as a gift of good relations."   no, they wouldn't buy that, i think.   in fact, they'd then question if i really had left a bag of groceries there in the 1st place.   those cherries were very overpriced.   by trying to sell them to me, they were trying to rob me.   neway, i'd like to stop talkin' 'bout the cherries now, please.

there's construction on the left side of the westbound deck of the richmond bridge.   i don't get to c sea lions in the morning these days.

how r u?   i'm fine.   i think the korea trip ppl come back 2day.   i think master yoon has left 4 alabama by now.   i'm not sure.   i got to the white belt class late, but i'm glad the beautiful kaela kang was able to drop me off @ the rsf.   she felt 2 sick to practice, but she did drop me off n' pick me up.   i tried to teach a good class altho' i started late.   i think it werked out fine.   in my 3 classes, i taught them everything i was s'pposed to... 'cept gibon poomsae 2jang.   i held off on that.   since they're a small class, they learn fast.   i wanted them to get exposed to sparring style stuff, so i taught them sparring footwerk instead of doing more gibon poomsae.   neway! i know this is all technical mumbo jumbo to u nontaekwondoists!

i'm glad joon's back to journalling.   i'm very happy 'bout that.   he's werking @ wells fargo on shattuck this summer, while he goes to summer skool.   i like on.line journals, butchu know what? i'm a li'l tired of cing "blogger" pages.   i don't like cing the same template filled w/ different ppl's wurds.   i know lotsa asian.am on.line journalists r using the blogger service now.   i guess the younger generation of asian.ams, those younger than me, r really gettin' into this blogger thing.   even tho' i don't care 2 much 4 those blogger services, i am very glad these kids r bloggin' by whatever means they use.   it gives the asian.am community hope that the younger generation will have more of a voice than the generations b4, right?   it's nice to think that we'll have more asian.am authors in the future... assuming that journalling leads to writing books... which it doesn't necessarily... i figure authors keep journals, but journallers don't necessarily become authors.   2 bad.   i mean, nal jom bwayo: i journal, but who sez i'll ever be an author?   it's just my idea of having a journal received much of its influence from the asian.am 3a class i tried to get into spring semester of my freshman yr @ cal.   oftentimes i tell myself, i should read more n' write less.   it's the same idea as how wise ppl listen more n' speak less, while idiots spew @ the mouth n' don't listen.

i really hope this fri i get to werk on some dj stuff.   i really need to. [later] as i often do, i wish there were more hrs in a day; i wish i had more time to do "stuff."

i can't believe it's already july 10.   man, summer is progressing so fast.   well, we have the cancun trip to look 4ward to @ the end of summer, but i still do want to make summer last, u know?   i surely don't want to rush to the end of summer, no.   i love summer.   i really want to savour every sec of summer!   'member, i used to be pretty indifferent 'bout the seasons; i mean, i sed i liked each season 4 what it has to offer.   when i got to college, i realised i like summer best.   i stopped being so wishy washy on the subject n' picked a favourite season.   oh, well... i do like snowboarding tho'...   man, if there's nething that eases the suffering of winter depression, it's snowboarding, right?   heh heh!   unh! i can't wait to go snowboarding to catch air off of snowpark jumps! yah! *sigh*   i just wanna play all day, huh?   man, if i could take off on a long snowtrip this winter, that'd be dope!   i wish me n' the beautiful kaela kang could take off 4 tahoe, then drive south, pass thru mammoth, then go to mt. baldy.   i dunno, maybe they're stops in between there, like big bear n' bear valley; i dunno.   man, that'd be dope... but dang, gotta werk.   "snow in summer," ain't that a cure song? it's a b.side to "just like heaven," right?

[later] so bronx's junkyard forums r back.   i c that it's sorta revamped n' all the members gotta reregister.   crazy.   [later] dang, man!   i got so much crap to do @ werk, n' it's so late.   i hate when my manager gives me big assignment as he leaves.   then i gotta stay late to finish the assignment.   i gotta get outta here to teach the white belt class!   the netwerk's all skrewed up. *sigh*

yesterday was a lazy but relaxing day @ home in san jo.   in the evening, we went to visit grace n' steve in the willow glen area of san jo.   we ate dinner @ taiwan restaurant.   it was so.so.   it's a bit of an americanised chinese restaurant, the kind i expect to find in corte madera, i guess... altho' ironically, george chen's dragonfly café is a pretty good semi.fusion chinese joint.   well, after dinner, i did some housechores.   then the beautiful kaela kang n' i headed back to berkeley.   we stopped in milpitas 4 a drink.   we wanted to go to the fantasia café there, but 'twas closed.   we went to this very hip joint called jujubi café.   it has an open mic n' guitar there.   that's kewl.   so u can just pick up the guitar n' sing a song...   sheesh, man... why didn't they have this stuff back when i was like a freshman / sophomore @ cal?! or even when i was in hi skool?!   geez, i would've really loved it then.   i'd still do it, but only if i got a bunch of friends w/ me @ the cafe.   neway... we got some fruit drinks to go n' went home.

so i'm more excited to travel now.   c, i originally thought the price kaela told me was per person, but 'parrently 'twas 4 both of us.   ah... so the price wasn't 2 bad, n' now we're gonna go to cancun during my b.day week, leaving the day after the taekwondo promotional exam.   kewl.   i got my pto cleared 2day @ werk.   online, i bought this travel wallet belt thingy...   i found the cheapest price.   man, u can really get ripped off if u just buy stuff w/o 'least trying to look 4 a better price 4 a few mins, u know?   i got it 4 under $7.   @ brookstone, it's like $15.   i gotta 'member to pack my swim trunks, multiple pairs.   hrm... if u think i'm spending more $$$ these days, u might think it's some sort'f 0.25 life crisis thing, huh?   eh! oh well.

2day was a bizzy day.   i'm writing this entry on my handspring visor edge.   i'm in san jo now w/ the beautiful kaela kang.   augh, what a long day.   1st, we had liane n' nate over 4 lunch.   kaela did so much to prepare lunch.   she werked so hard.   'twas a fun lunch.   afterwards, kaela cut my hair.   that took a li'l while.   man, she did so much 4 me!   then we shopped on.line 4 a vacatiun.   guess what!   we're going to cancun, mexico after this summer's promotional exams.   kewl!   then we packed n' headed down to san jo.

we went straight to valley fair mall.   i bought kaela a build-a-bear panda to thank her 4 her help n' patience 2day.   then we shopped.   we met w/ ken n' grace @ this jujuhm dansuhngsa pojangmacha.   it's like the dansuhngsa pojangmacha place in oakland.  we also had plans to meet up w/ paul lee n' alex kim there.   we met up w/ many ppl there!!!   [k, i wrote all that in the middle of the nite.   now it's really morning.]   we hungrily sat down w/ ken n' grace n' billy yu n' joe tseng.   grace's cousin young came to serve us.   ryan nishikawa n' his gf tiffany came.   we ate korean pub fud: dalkddongjip (or "chicken @$$ house," as the menu called it, altho' it should've sed "chicken $#!+ house."), dooboo (tofu) kimchi, ojinguh bokkeum (i guess that's not really pub fud.), some random sausage n' spam jjigae, n' some random fried "stuff."   ryan, tiffany, joe, n' billy left to go watch kiss of the dragon.   the rest of us stayed n' waited to hang out w/ more guests.   some more ol' leland ppl showed up.   alan tang, vivian chang, n' kendrick lee came.   i never hung out w/ them 2 much, but i guess ken hangs out w/ them some these days.   oh, i guess he knows them via gordon.   neway, they're kewl; it's not that i don't like them, i just never knew them all that well.   then paul n' alex finally finished driving 'round in circles n' found the place.   paul had been to it b4, some time ago.   they didn't realise they had just eaten dinner closeby.   they just came to hang out n' have some drinks.   then tim chen showed up w/ these 2 women may n' lin.   they just hung out 4 a short while.   anthony garia n' jean-roi chen showed up.   i was pretty glad to c anthony.   last week he e.mailed me n' sed we had to meet up some time... well, now we did.   well, i guest ken n' grace n' kaela n' i hung out @ this dansuhnqsa pub 4 a total of over 4 hrs!   well, t'was good to c so many old friends, u know?

now that the pub was closing, 'twas 1230a, n' paul, alex, kaela, n' i wanted to go noraebang.   we asked some kid where we could find a place.   u know, that kid sure looked like the kind of kid i'd find @ bronx's junkyard.   n' u know what else? paul n' alex really feel like hyuhng n' noona to me.   paul's my sister's age.   i sorta didn't think 'bout that much b4 n' figured he was a li'l younger.   i guess he's like roland's age 2 then, huh?   actually, he's a yr older than my sister n' roland.   alex, she's owen's age, so she's 2 yrs older than me, right?   neway, it wat different yet very kewl to be 1 of the younger 1's in the group.   is this how jerome felt back when he was the "freshman"?   noraebang was so much fun, as it often is.   kewl, now we've been to noraebang 2ice so far this summer!   paul did't realise till last nite how much i'm into korean musik.   well, we sang 4 an hr, n' kaela sang some but then fell asleep.   i carried her out.   i was a li'l worried ppl'd think she was drunk.   i just carried her to the car really quickly.   paul carded the noraebang bill.   i only had a $20, so he sed this time was on him.   i assured him we'd go 'gain sometime soon, so i can pay him back.   i hope so.   i know joon, mike sia, deanna, n' darlene wanna go sometime.

well, now we're in san jo @ my mom's place.   hey, ken n' grace want to give us their 2 cockatiels. hrm... maybe so.

[a li'l later, 'round noon] man, there's nuthin' on tv on a sun afternoon.   i don't watch golf.   i'd rather watch yan can cook.   he's cookinq thai fud.   i'm s'pposed to help my mom cut a tree down 2day.   man, can u believe i'm writing all this on my handspring?! crazy!   i liked kaela's "las vegas" shirt yesterday.

[later] well, it's a lazy sun afternoon.   i thought kaela n' i were gonna go back to valley fair 2day.   kaela has a headache.   i went to the nearby safeway to buy her some tylenol gelcaps.   it's warm outside, here in san jo.   ah, what is there to do?   hrm... if i were in berkeley, what would i do.   i'd probably get on.line.   i could listen to musik.   i could write... n' yah, i am writing.   hey, i'm not even typing; i'm actually writing... w/ palm graffiti tho'.

so we watched jet li's kiss of the dragon 2nite @ jack london.   andy, jeff, jocelyn, dave, roland, jerome, laura, the beautiful kaela kang n' me...   i liked it, yes.   it had lots of action n' violence.   i think it had more violence than it really needed, but that's ok.   some parts were a li'l rambo.1.man.armyish.   i feared it'd be replacement killersish, meaning jet li wouldn't have ne romance w/ bridget fonda, just like chow yun fat didn't get it on w/ mira sorvino.   it was a fun movie tho', decent plot, i think.   nachos n' a pepsi cost $7.   i guess that'd buy me more @ mcyukyuk's, huh?   upes, still gotta pay andy back 4 the tix.

2day was my day off.   i woke up, drove the beautiful kaela kang to werk, n' then went to costco.   i picked up 3 rolls of developed film.   i bought some foto albums, tennis balls 4 kaela (36), n' shower spray.   it took a while to get out of costco cos'f the lines, 'course.   then i went home, put pics in albums... i really like some of the kaelapics.   i'll scan them n' post them soon.   then i picked up kaela.   i thought we were gonna werk @ the french restaurant liaison on oxford n' hearst, but kaela wanted pho @ 99 ranch; so we went there.   then we bought some groceries.   then i brought kaela back to her lab n' stayed there w/ her 4 the rest of the afternoon.   i saw bacteria in the microscope.   i played w/ my handspring li'l.   i've been playing this sat vocab game.   i esteem good vocabulary.   i read an atlas i found on the bookshelf.   2nite we're 2 watch jet li's kiss of the dragon.

2day, i drove back to berkeley to have lunch w/ the beautiful kaela kang @ hot pot city on university ave.   it was a good lunch.   there was lotsa bad traffic to n' from berkeley on 580.   i originally wanted to go to costco during my lunch break, but there wasn't time.   it's summer right now.   i'm looking @ my skedule 4 this month, n' i'm trying to plan out a fun month.   i want to make the most of each weekend.   kaela n' i have also been talking 'bout this vacation thingy.   we figured we'd try to go to somewhere nice in mexico.   it's not easy finding a vacation that's affordable @ this time.   i'm pretty frustrated w/ the situation.   4 the prices we're finding, we could go to asia or europe, but we would've needed to plan in advance.   as a werking person, i really c vacation time as limited good cos it is limited good.   if they 4ced us to take vacation 4 a month a yr... like, let's say thay just sed i had to take august off.   then, i'd be less stressed.   i'd just try to make the most of that month.   instead, i'm thinking 'bout how i gotta save my vacation time to make the most of it.   i save time 4 snowtrips in the winter n' ne good vacation we can take next summer.   when i went on the korea trip in 1999, it cmed like i had a lot of vacation time, altho' i used it all up on the trip.   i made a lotta daytrips to tahoe back then.   daytrips don't use up vacation time.   'nother thing that's an obstacle to going on this vacation is that i agreed to dj rosie's wedding on 11 aug.   that week would've been a good week to vacation cos i hafta take the fri off neway... but i agreed to do the wedding.   the following sat is the taekwondo promotional exam.   sure, u could just say i make taekwondo 2 much a priority in my life, but i also would want to be there to watch my friends test.   i'm thinking the 19-25 week of august or the 29 july - 04 august week'd be good times to vacation.   however, 4 either of those dates, airfare is so frickin' expensive n' stuff.   *sigh*   i do wanna make the most of life, yah... but i don't wanna just throw away $$$ like a fool.   i know i gotta have fun in life, do things during my life... i undestand that.   when i wake up in the morn n' c bags under my eyes n' think i look so old w/ the bags under my eyes, i get scared.   i think, yah, maybe i won't live 4ever, maybe i should do things while i'm young.   if some1 told me i had a yr to live, maybe i'd be willing to empty my bank acct n' spend it on having fun.   no, i don't wanna be the village idiot, all provincial n' stuff.   yah, i do so value in travelling the world.   frick, but b4 u call my a hypocrite, yah! i do know i sed that i don't have such a need to travel as some ppl... ("i don't like bad things.   i like good things." on 2001.04.04)

here, lemme give u 2 opposing philosophies n' letchu debate it cos i've got 2 much of a headache already: 1) "if i put so much effort into werking as an engineer, why should i live a apple picker's life?" n' 2) "mo' money, mo' problems."   is this even relevant to the discussion of "vacation blues?"   frick, maybe yah; maybe no.   i'd be an apple picker if i never travelled.   if i don't drop some ca$h to travel, i'm an apple picker.   "mo' money, mo' problems"? that's more 'bout materialism.   if i waste my $$$ buying lotsa gadgets, then i'll suffer from "mo' money, mo' problems."   hrm... as u can c, i was thinking aloud 4 the last few sentences.

i'm writing this entry on my handspring visor edge. i guess i'm having lotsa fun w/ it. neway, we're in san jo now! joon came down w/ us yesterday nite, late yesterday nite. it was warm in san jo last nite. it felt so good to drive w/ the window down. 2day, 4 the 4 of july, a bunch of us taekwondo p.crewers r going to the santa cruz beach boardwalk. when i woke up this morn, i had such bags under my eyes. it scared me; i looked so old!

[later] happy 4jx2001!   i heard firewerks going off in the background.   it sounds nice.   i like it.   we had fun @ the santa cruz beach boardwalk beach.   we didn't ride rides, but we played lazer tag.   we hung out on the beach, played in the water, etc.

i cleaned up my web page a li'l.   go to my friends' page n' check out how i've cleaned up.   i've also added a page.   check it out!   then leave a gbook msg, please.   will my handspring come in 2day?   the beautiful kaela kang n' i have decided we'll take a vacation sometime this summer. whoa! just as i typed those last coupl'a lines, the ups guy came n' deliverd 2 boxes to me: 1) raymond's dsl modem n' 2) my handspring visor edge!   awright! yah!

[later] i went to san rafel to eat lunch @ taco bell.   it took 4ever 4 me to order cos i had a typical marin countyite housewife w/ kids in front of me getting all confused 'bout why she can't order a grilled stuft burrito combo w/o the nachos but w/ guacamole.   she was so frustrated cos she couldn't understand the cashier's mexican accent and talked to the cashier w/ a loud voice.   all the employees were laffing 'bout her in spanish.   i had no clue what they were saying, but i knew they were mocking her.   that's what she gets.   geez!   i ate a gordita combo, but saved 1 gordita 4 later.   i read my aaa magazine.   as i was saying, kaela n' i decided we should take a vacation this summer.   we don't have the resources to go somehwere 2 far.   like, it'd be great to make a korea/taiwan trip, but i don't think we have the time or $$$.   we'd really like to tho'.  

so on sat, i took the beautiful kaela kang to pt reyes.   we 1st went to the emeryville fedex office to pick up her cellfon.   then we stopped by burger king in el cerrito to get a frozen cherry minute maid.   we drove 'cross the richmond bridge down sir francis drake blvd.   it felt like i was just driving to werk!   up till recently, driving down sir fracis drake blvd cmed like a big deal.   i thought 'twas such a beautiful n' unique rd.   now, i realise it still is, but i guess i often take it 4granted.   we drove 4 a long time.   first, i accidentally took us to tomales bay instead of pt reyes.   we had lunch @ a seafud restaurant on the water there.   we pet a big, white dog there.   the scenery was so beautiful!   then we got back on the road w/ the help of a aaa map n' went to pt reyes.   we went to johnson's oyster farm in inverness.   we bought 2 dozen shell oysters n' a small jar of small oysters.   oh, n' we each ate a small oyster cocktail.   so many oysters!   lots of families were buying huge sacks of oysters.   lotsa asian ppl go to the oyster farm.   then we went to the lighthouse.   man, it was so beautiful, the scenery!   it was very windy n' a li'l cold.   we didn't walk up to the lighthouse, we just walked to a different peak where we could see a very nice view.   *sigh* i wish we coulda stayed there longer!   i took some pics.   then we headed back.   we rested a li'l b4 going out to roland's b.day dinner.

we had roland's b.day dinner @ cha.am thai restaurant on shattuck, close to our apt.   it was roland, dave yee, jeff, jocelyn, jerome, laura, andy, erin, kaela, n' me.   we ate lots.   then we went to jerome n' andy's place n' played taboo.   we also ate aisukuriimu.

sun, i brought kaela to campus to play tennis w/ her publik health friend cynthia.   i went strolling 'round berkeley n' browsed stores.   i got kaela a set of panda bear jewelry boxes.   then the 3 of us ate @ cafe durant.   afterwards, we stopped by the rsf, so i could get some $$$ from patrick cos he owed me 4 a hogu set he bought off me.   we saw becky laubach n' june hwang, 2 of my 4mer students.   then kaela n' i had lotsa errands to do.   we went to ikea to exchange n' return some stuff.   man, the traffic there was absolutely horrible!   i was so frustrated but was glad to get a good parking spot.   since i had a good parking spot, we decided to hang out there a li'l, just look 'round.   then we went to costco.   i had to drop of 3 rolls of film.   we bought groceries.   surprisingly, i ran into liane there.   she didn't have much time to talk un4tunately, but we'll c her 'gain soon.   after costco, we went to safeway in albany to buy other groceries.   that evening, toby came over n' we bbqed oysters, scallops, n' veggie kebabs.   kaela also made a delicious weed salad topped w/ grilled salmon n' sautéed shrooms.   we were stuffed.   after toby left, i cleaned up.   kaela fell asleep on the new couch.   since she was there, i just went to sleep on the floor of the living room.

i guess yesterday we didn't hang w/ taekwondo ppl much.   how many friends do i have outside of taekwondo?   i looked 'round @ the group @ roland's b.day n' realised that some of these ppl have left taekwondo.   we all met in taekwondo, but we don't all do taekwondo nemore.   is that how it's s'pposed to be?   maybe 4 some.   i know life must go on.   i know i can't be a kid 4ever.   still, i don't just do taekwondo 4 the social aspect; i do it cos i like it.   i look 'round the club n' there r some older guys there, guys who have been 'round cal taekwondo 4 a long time.   i really respect them.   they've werked hard to get as good as they r, n' i realise that, in their period of life, w/ families n' careers, it's hard to find time to werkout like they do, but they do.   i like that.   hrm... i dunno when i go from young guy to oldtimer.   maybe if i take some time off n' come back then i'll all the sudden be an oldtimer.   well, as u get older u either become an oldtimer or u disappear.   so many ppl just disappear.   i'd like to stick 'round n'... just stick 'round.   well, i mean... i think i'd be fine someday evolving into an oldtimer.   'course i just don't know where life'll take me; if i'll live 'round here that long...

[later]   when i came in this morning, i had a cdnow shipment on my chair.   it's mars & mystrë: faith in 2000.   it's not that i'm a wannabe raver; i just like tekno musik, but i never had all that much interest in going to raves.   oh, when i was shopping @ tower records on sun, i found an interest cd, altho' it didn't interest me 'nuff to purchase: a cd5 of "how soon is now?" (the smiths classic) covered by a modern group called snake river conspiracy.   i listened to the remixes, even tho' they were a li'l long.   well, teknomixes r s'pposed to be long, right?   it's like classical musik.   while browsing thru cds on sat, i realise how much things remain the same.   i still c so many of the old cds i used to browse thru, back in hs or college... u know, in the early 90s.

i 'member we discussed in anthro class how friendship varies so much from culture to culture; how european-americans r so quick to call some1 a friend, while native americans don't call some1 a friend unless they r really close.   well, i dunno... that's what they told us in class.   i mean, 'least some time in history, that was an interesting cultural situation, when the europeans were taking over america: the natives found it amusing that the europeans called every1 a friend.   i'm not a shallow friend.   i like to have friends.   i am usually willing to be a friend, which maybe makes me a friendly person.   still, i do want to have deep friendships.   as u c, i keep thinking 'bout these friendship issues, huh? *sigh*

ups came n' left 2day.   i don't think i'm getting my handspring 2day.   i hafta 'member to teach ting's white belt class 2morrow!   it's back to getting to the rsf b4 730p. boy, oh boy.

[later] so i'm in the process of cleaning up my webpage.   u'll notice 2 changes right now: 1) i have fixed some of the picture pages that geocities ruined. 2) i reduced some of the pics on some of the old, old pages to make room 4 more new pics.   go n' check the old pics pages!   follow my friends link! [later] by 2morrow, i'm gonna have a whole bunch'a new old pics n' a whole bunch'a new new pics to show u!!!!   just wait n' c!

hey, it's roland's b.day.   wish him a happy b.day.   last nite, roland (aka rolo) went w/ the beautiful kaela kang n' me to watch moulin rouge @ emeryville ua.   it had lots of musik, colourful scenery, n' beautiful costumes.   i think the costumes were the best part.   kaela found it 2 corny.   it was sorta "campy" as roland put it.   i thought the musik bits were sometimes kewl.   afterwards, we met w/ laura n' jerome @ giovanni's on shattuck.   jerome wanted us to go to a party @ his cowerker tiffany's place.   we didn't go.   it was sorta late.   i feel bad tho'; i don't want ppl to start saying, "c, this is why we never invitechu places!"   i know how that feels... i mean, to try to invite ppl to stuff, but they constantly turn u down.   eventually, u stop asking, even if u really like these ppl; u just get worn down.   neway, i gotta say; i realise there's a diff btwn longtime friends n' ppl u hang out w/.   i don't mean to say i don't appreciate ppl who want to hang out.   i really appreciate that.   as i say, i'll hang out w/ ppl who want to hang out w/ me.   uhm, but i guess, as i sed yesterday, good friends r good.   i just wonder... there's a coupl'a guys i considered really close friends, like, a couple of yrs 'go; but nowadays, it cms we don't talk... or even if not that, i just don't feel all that com4table 'bout them.   neway, i don't wanna go into that here.   i'll say this tho': good friends don't necessarily need to hang out w/ u everyday, but they'll still be ur friends.   also, good friends rn't just "yes men," not just ppl there to kiss ur butt n' boost ur ego.  well, we've got a big day ahead: go to emeryville 4 some errands n' then pt reyes 4 oysters.

practice was interesting 2nite.   garth led a cardio warmup, then the older guys taught us some not.so.used.these.days tekniques.   i mean, that's how they cmed to put it.   after practice tho', ugh, i was so frustrated!   i scratched up the side of car door pulling into the beautiful kaela kang's narrow parking spot.   ugh!   i dunno; i guess i'll just use touch up. even tho' it'll still look not quite right, i don't feel like paying an insurance deductible right now.   there was s'pposed to be some event 2nite, going out... but i didn't feel up to it.   i also didn't feel right 'bout it.   i dunno... like i wasn't s'pposed to go or sumpthin', u know? neway, we just stayed home after i showered.   we ate some leftover pizza from my company mtg.   kaela steamed some mandoo.   we ate some of the leftover nation's strawberry pie.   it was delicious.   we sat on our new sofa.   i was fine w/ that.

["next day," as i would say] i stayed up a li'l late playing w/ kaela's visor.   i installed some games.   1 i was eager to play is a ripoff of the old elevator action arcade game.

i read kaela's journal.   i don't like having issues 'bout "who r my real friends."   it feels so highskoolish.   i do, however, value my friends very, very much.   i've sed this b4: i'll hang w/ ppl who want to hang w/ me.   i want to be friends w/ ppl i like, but i mean... shoot, u can only do so much to try to make others think of u as their friend, u know?   i don't look 4ward to moving away from my friends, i mean... physically moving.   i recently admitted to myself that maybe i do have some issues 'bout how supermike left the bay area 4 that job in virginia.   the reason i say that is that a week 'go he called me, but i was 2 bizzy to answer th fon.   i haven't called him back yet.   maybe i'm just not that eager to.   shoot, i'm not say that i don't like supermike.   i dunno what we'd talk 'bout.   he'd ask 'bout my werk/career.   i'd say a li'l, then ask 'bout his werk.   i'd ask what he's doing 4 fun.   he'd tell me a li'l 'bout their europe trip, i guess.   ... all this talk 'bout this "who r my real friends" is making me that 0.25 life crisis anxiety 'gain.   really.   @ this moment, i feel my heart sinking.   however, it's only cos, in my heart/mind, i'm blowing things way out of proportion.   hrm... this is such an opposite feeling from how i felt right after the housewarming party n' last weekend. as i sed, i'm just exaggerating things.

i don't like to whine 2 much here neway.   i'm sure no1 wants to come here n' just read my whining.   sometimes i wonder why ne1 comes here.   hrm... i'm seriously having a 0.25 life crisis moodswing.   i looked 'gain @ that 0.25 life crisis e-mail piece: "You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you are." instead of realising how selfish i am, i'd rather just not be selfish.   0.25 life crisis: i feel like a 12 yr old ordering off a child's menu.

[later] i kept bizzy @ werk, n' i didn't really think 'bout the negative things i was thinking 'bout earlier.   then i got an e.mail from a friend that really put things into perspective 4 me.   life has its troubles.   maybe we'll watch moulin rouge 2nite. (heh, i know that ain't know way to conclude this paragraph, but maybe it just doesn't need a conclusion.   well, no. if this paragraph had a conclusion it'd be "life has its troubles, but good friends... r good.")

it's 319a.   i just spent a while installing hantip on the beautiful kaela kang's visor deluxe.   man, it took a while 4 me to figure it out.   it was 1 of those things where it would've been better to read the instructions 1st.   'course the instructions were in korean n' used technical wurds that i didn't really know, but i figured it out. phew.   well, when my visor edge comes in, this'll be 1 of the 1st programs i put on.   it's by ray solutions.

well, 2nite, raymond drove me to practice cos kaela went early to do butt gallery exercises, precor machine.   i was semi out of it, but it was an ok practice.   afterwards, raymond, kaela, n' i ate @ 168.   raymond's getting nervous 'bout the korea trip, n' i know i didn't help by pting out that they don't have many ppl going w/ them who r korean, speak korean, etc.   urgh, i just wanted to warn him.   it sounds like fun neway.   i told him to bring me back some yongindae paraphenalia n/or taekwondo demo videos.

well, we got a new sofabed n' a new screen door.   this apt feels more like a home.

[so much later!] i went to togo's 4 lunch n' got a #3 turkey n' swiss sandwich on wheat.   i made it a combo w/ chips n' drink, n' the total was $6.13.   i was shocked.   i asked if they made a mistake, perhaps rang up a large instead of a small sandwich.   nope, that's just the cost of living in marin county.   dang, man! i couldja just ate a frozen dinner 4 lunch, but i figured, since its a nice summer day, i ought to get outside a bit n' also go fill my car w/ gas.   *sigh*   i sat by myself @ an indoor table by the self.serve soda machine n' pondered life.   "if i put so much effort into werking as an engineer, why should i live a apple picker's life?"   that was my justification 4 loosening my pursestrings this summer.   i guess i feel i need to justify my semi.impulse purchase of the visor edge yesterday.   well, technology must go 4ward; technology must go boink.   i bought the visor as a technology item, not a luxury item.   i won't use it as a glorified rolodex the way ceos use it; i'm gonna milk it 4 what its got, use it like a mini pc.   i'm gonna put deejay/musik apps on it, engineering/mathematics apps on it, games, language apps... n' maybe i'll even do the e.book thing.   i realise a guy can't be 2 wise if he writes more than he reads.   he'd only be like all those 2 many ppl who talk more than they listen.   i haven't read much lately, but i sure do write.   well, what would i read?   i think 1 e.book i'm interested in having is... the holy bible.   huh?   that's not literature, some'd say, but rather a trite book of dogmas, right?   u know... whether u believe in jesus or not, the bible does have some wise wurds, i'd say.   neway, back to the pt of buying the visor 4 the sake of technology! i mean... some1 had to buy commodore vic20s to open the path 4 the ibm pc, right?   so as a engineer i gotta support this kinda stuff.   teknology must move 4ward.   even apple picking teknology.

after finishing my lunch, i drove to neighbouring san rafael to buy $1.759 gas.   i passed by the usual mexican daywerkers on bellam blvd.   i wonder how their lives r.   how much do they get paid?

[a li'l later]4 those of u not into korean musik n' not even into the matt easton, cure, etc. stuff i discuss here, i got some new cds, english cds, dance albums: daft punk n' sarina paris.   oftentimes teknodance groups don't make good albums; they're more 1 hit wonders.   well, we'll c 'bout these 2 albums.   i got them from cdnow; the order came in the mail 2day.   i'm waiting 4 mars & mystre.

so i hear erin's not coming back to taekwondo but is going to do wushu.   i think that's really 2 bad.   she werked so hard to become a black belt, n' then she doesn't stick 'round to enjoy the black belt's life.   what is "the black belt's life"?   well, 'course some of the coloured belts respect u more, etc.   a 1dan black belt is a skilled beginner.   i dunno; i just would think she'd feel so good wearing a black belt while werking out after werking so hard to earn her black belt.   i really don't like it when ppl get their black belts @ ucmap then ditch.   i really don't like it.   u know... i'm sure she's fed up w/ certain aspects of our club tho'.   it's not like i don't c where she's coming from.   there's certain aspects i don't like 'bout our club.   4 1 thing, i agree w/ dr. min that we shouldn't be a band of thugs, young punks.   well, how i feel is that i don't want the club to be a bunch of dumb jocks.   that's 1 thing 'bout the american taekwondo competition culture that i really despise.   some taekwondo practitioners 4get the martial arts roots, the philosophy.   they just want a futball team that does taekwondo instead of futball.   sure, martial artists need to be tuff, need to be strong; but they also need more mental discipline than the avg dumb jock.

[much later] surprise! i went ahead n' got it via kaela's upgrade offer.   crazy beno.   neway, let's not talk 'bout it right now.   my office had a pizza lunch mtg.   my right wrist hurts from typing, i think.   i went to the post office n' atm after the mtg.   my cowerker's dog is really cute, but it's very shy n' timid.   it's scared of guys.   it whimpers when she leaves it.   it even tried to go find her, dragging a big chair along w/ it by its leash.   kaela sent me this ny times article 'bout 0.25 life crises.   it's a pretty good, yet general, article.   i'd like u to read it 2: "is this the face of a midlife crisis?" by rick marin.   its main pt is that we 20somethingers go thru 0.25 life crises cos we've got 2 many choices/options as opposed to 2 few.   u think?   honestly, i don't think it's that simple; i don't think that's quite it.   i dunno.   maybe we have options, but few r good options.   i used to think the characters on friends were such losers cos they were in their late 20s n' acted like kids.   now, i understand them a li'l better.   2nite i'll go to the rsf.   i debating btwn doing a taekwondo werkout or just a butt gallery werkout.   i dunno.   did i mention? oh no, i didn't!   last nite, after werkout, we ate zarusoba.   i put sesame seeds in the sauce 4 a special touch.   i also made strawberry banana smoothies.   i ate beanieweenies n' english muffins 4 breakfast 2day.   it cmed like a breakfast a gold miner in the 1840s'd eat or a westward bound wagon trainer/pioneer.   i woke up pretty early n' had time to eat.   i like that.   i love how the sun comes up early in the summer.   well, days r getting shorter now.   we gotta enjoy while it lasts.   i wish it wouldn't rain; but i guess that's how summers r in asia.

i didn't really get a chance to wrap up yesterday's entry.   can u tell when i'm having a bizzy day n' can't really wrap up my entries?   sometimes they just don't cm 2 cohesive or lack closure, right?   *sigh* neway, i had a bizzy day @ werk yesterday.   my cowerker in the neighbouring cubicle got a doggy n' brought him in.   it's cute but very shy w/ guys.   it's a freshly neutered male, but it still cms to prefer women so much more, i think.   oftentimes doggies r like that, very sexist.   neway, after my bizzy day @ werk, i picked the beautiful kaela kang up from yali's n' brought her home.   we passed out.   then i went to taekwondo practice to facilitate the 1geub class / demo team practice.   it was good.   we did pretty basic stuff, but 'twas a good practice.   afterwards, i came straight home to eat dinner.   kaela cooked beanieweenies w/ cabbage n' onion.   while she was cooking, i was reminded of chals cos we 1nce ate beanieweenies @ chals's, n' i was playing a teknorave cd in the background.

kaela suggested that i buy a handspring visor edge pda.   she has a $100 off deal from handspring cos they have this "upgrade" special.   i've always sed i won't buy a pda until i know 4 sure i can get korean language support 4 it.   i think i found it, this thing called cjkos from dyts.   i dunno... should i get a pda? look @ me! pda, flat panel monitor... these things i'm considering. *sigh* i don't have the resources right now to invest in material goods, do i?   like, raymond, he's our prime example of a guy who can afford gadgets right now.   he's young, single, n' w/ job, altho' still in skool n' gettin' funding from his parents.   i don't envy or spite him. i don't say that w/ ne negative feelings.   i'm just pting out his situation as an example of what i'm not.   he doesn't have investing 4 future plans so much on his mind, but he doesn't need to cos he's @ a younger age than i am right now.   i gotta think 'bout all sorts of "future life" investment purchases.   1st off, i gotta buy a bigger bed.   there's stuff like that.   n' then there r real future life investment purchases, such as the home i'll someday buy... someday.   that's alotta stress, i tell u.   ken's wanting to buy a condo really soon.   guys like dave yee already have.   there r those that have the $$$ n' can do it, n' those that can't.   me? man, i guess i'm sorta inbetween.   to make things more stressful, i tell u, i figure i don't have the $$$, yet my mom thinks i do or 'least will sooner than i really will.

now w/ that in perspective, do u really think i can afford to toss $$$ 'round on li'l gadgets that young guys like so much?

the beautiful kaela kang just signed my gbook.   even if u've signed it b4, it may have changed since u last signed it, so please sign it 'gain.

[later] kaela brought sushi from flying maguro to my office.   we sat in my cubicle n' ate.   she bought such a nice selection.   flying maguro is a korean sushi place in berkeley, on shattuck, north of university.   it was a very delicious lunch.   then she came w/ me to our sf office.   i needed to drop off a microscope.   didju know that i get to c sea lions basking in the sun on a rock below the richmond bridge on my way to werk every morning?   however, i gotta drive fast, so i can't really watch them 4 2 long.   i like them.   i wish joon'd resume updating his journal.   i also wish moonhee'd update his illustrated journal.   moonheehyuhng, i guess.   so i just read that bronx is thinking 'bout shutting down bronx's junkyard.   man, that's 2 bad.   i think it's 1 of the best asian.american forums 'round.   'course most of the ppl there r much younger than me, as i sed.   i don't mind so much, 'cept when i'm in some forum which is obviously just a bunch of high skool guys.   i really appreciate bronx's contribution to the asian.am community tho'.   i know he's asked 4 donations, n' i haven't donated; but i do support his site... i guess, not so much financially, but i "support" it, think its kewl etc.   bronx sez it creates lotsa stress n' headaches 4 him.   i understand.   there'r lotsa troublemakers on the net.   ppl rn't so afraid to do n' say the stoopidest things when they know u can't beat them up over the net.   guns empower. the net empowers.   ppl abuse both.

[later] i'm so mad now!   i got a call from some stoopid maintenance guy from bartell's who came 2day to install our screen door.   well, frick! he was supposed to come 2 weeks ago! neway, he complained he couldn't get it.   i explained that's cos i had to rekey the door after we got locked out, but i'm gonna repin the lock back to the original key soon.   neway, i told him i'd try to get kaela over there w/ a key w/in 30 mins.   then i tried to call her, but her loaner fon is so bad n' doesn't ring when she gets a call.   so i told my manager that i need to go home to let this maintenance guy in.   he was very nice 'bout it, n' i appreciate that.   then i sped so fast home to let this guy in.   when i pulled into my spot, there was some old man in a pickup.   i sorta thought that might be the maintenance guy, but i wasn't sure.   i ran upstairs n' unlocked the door n' went in.   no1 was waiting 4 me there.   i went onto the balcony.   i saw the old man w/ the pickup leave.   he had a frickin' screen door in his pickup bed! that was him! what a dumbbutt! he saw me pull into my assigned parking spot n' run up to my apt, but he didn't even bother to try to get into the apt. 'gain! i think he's just lazy.   so i wasted an hour of my really bizzy werkday to do that!   i figured i'll hafta leave straight to the rsf from my office, so i grabbed some prewerkout clothes to change into in my cubicle.   *sigh* just a series of bad circumstances made this afternoon such a pain in the @$$!   u know, that lockout is the pain in the butt that just keeps on giving, ain't it?!

i'm still pretty pissed 'bout the maintenance guy's laziness.   man, these r such stresses that daily life gives.   it's not some exciting predicament, just $#!+ that daily life dishes out.   can i call this part of growing up? part of maturing?   i dunno.   do u think that's a bleak way to put it?   hrm... i mean, i guess dealing w/ this problem is part of having an apt., but that doesn't make me ne more mature cos every college kid 'round here has an apt.   i guess the part that feels more mature 'bout it to me is that i actually want to keep a nice home, not just some college guy's bachelor pad... 'course i don't mean to say that some college guys don't keep nice homes.   however, in my younger days, i sure as all heck diddly eck didn't.   now, i moreso do.   i consider it something i want, a priority.   i need to budget time n' $$$ to take care of a home.   well, since ken never called me back 'bout ikea, we can't cancel 2morrow's delivery now.   i guess we're stuck w/ paying full price on the sofabed.

well, the housewarming party went very well.   'least 32 ppl came over.   we bbqed n' ate korean/asian fud that the beautiful kaela kang made.   guests brought fud 2, lotsa desserts.   joon handled most of the bbqing.   he's good @ that.   un4tunately, i heard he got hives n' that's why he went home early.   we watched "nthe simpsons movie madness marathon" on upn 44.   the party actually didn't have much alcohol @ all, but we had a good time.   we celebrated deanna's, clarence's, n' roland's b.days.   jerome got me some pretty strong hot sauce from japan... actually, it's american, but w/ a japanese label.   toby got me a pocket knife from spain n' a houseplant.

sun, we hung out 'gain.   a bunchuvus went to dimsum @ tsingtao by jack london square: laura, jerome, roland, ting, erin, laura's sister alice, her bf vic, jeff, jocelyn, andy, raymond, kaela, n' me.   then we watched atlantis.   i sed it was worth watching 'gain, n' i stuck to my wurd, as u c.   afterwards, kaela n' i took roland n' raymond w/ us to ikea to buy a sofabed.   now i'm wondering if i should return the sofabed, which won't be delivered till wed, cos ken has a friend @ ikea who can get me a 50% discount.   it wasn't a cheap sofabed, but it was 1 of the more affordable 1s, yet still a nice 1.   after ikea, ppl came over to our place to eat pasta n' fried rice.   then we did a 2nd b.day cake w/ candles 4 roland.   pam had brought that cake on sat, but we didn't get to eat it.   there was so much fud on sat!   it feels so good to have ppl over.   we put down a new ikea rug under the bapsang.   i like having our furnishing asian style.

[later] it's such a cloudy day in corte madera. i think it's cloudy in the whole bay area.   it's such a change. nuts. i was loving the warm summer weather that was not as hot as chino's warm summer weather.   i wish it wouldn't rain here this week tho'.   i hear it will; nuts.   *sigh*

lemme tell u who came to our housewarming: chals, his roommate matthew, sam, joon, raymond, toby, betty, jeanna, john liu, erica, their friend lisa, young, tiffany, romy, owen, roland, cyrus, deanna, mikey, darlene, laura, jerome, andy, jocelyn, paul lee, michael shea, erin, pam, george huang, patrick, clarence... n' 'course kaela n' i were there.   i wanna thank all who came, n' thank those who brought fud, drinks, n' supplies.

[later] last nite, while ken was talkin' 'bout all the hookups he can get me, he mentioned getting us free carded dss, so we can watch every single cable/premium channel 4 free; yup, (as i sed on the y! taekwondo p.crew club page), that means free hb-ho, ho-time, skinemax, etc.   'course u all know i don't watch tv much.   maybe mtv'll be fun.   isn't it funny. i despise much of tv cos it's dumb, but i'm sorta willing to watch mtv.

it's almost 200a on a fri nite / sat morn.   i'm listening to the uc men's octet gold cd, listening to toby sing.   my monitor's seriously busted.   there's no green.   it's not only annoying, but i realise it actually matters sometimes.   i was trying to use a dj bpm counter program.   i thought it wasn't werking.   then i realised that it displays the bpm in green numbers.   shoot!   i've been considering buying a flat panel monitor.   i think i mentioned that.   i need a new monitor n' hear 15" flat panels under $500 r easy to find these days.   eh, it's not like i've got $$$ to throw 'round, but it looks like i really need a new monitor.   we also gotta buy a sofabed tho'.   i'm glad i got my deposit back.   that's 'least 1 good thing.   man, deposits r such a hassle, eh?

last nite, we missed practice to keep house.   after werk, i went straight to ikea to meet up w/ the beautiful kaela kang to look @ sofabeds. [later] we couldn't buy a sofabed n' have it delivered by sat's party.   if we want it by sat, we need to bring it home ourselves.   i can't fit a sofabed in my car.   we thought 'bout renting a truck 4 2nite or asking toby.   i can't reach toby.   i worry 'bout moving the sofabed up the stairs to our apt.   delivery costs $99, but 'least i won't hafta worry 'bout damaging the sofabed as i bring it upstairs.   *sigh* i dunno what to do.   the sofabed itself ain't cheap, but i'm willing to invest in some furniture.

after ikea, we went to pusan plaza.   we had to drive separately cos we went to ikea separately.   we bought lotsa groceries.   i was more willing to buy more cos i knew we'd get a free gift.   what a trap, huh?   but i don't mind.   we got a jinro soju vase.   it's just a simple vase, n' 'course it's got a soju ad on it; but i just like getting things like glassware 4 free when it comes to those free gifts @ korean markets.

afterwards we hurried home.   kaela cooked some kalgooksoo n' pea sprouts.   we ate that n' kimchi we bought @ pusan plaza.   we watched tv.   i don't really like watching tv 'cept 4 the simpsons.   we watched er, which i don't really like much.   i feel there r 2 many shows 'bout doctors, cops, n' lawyers.   'course i realise er is 1 of the best shows on netwerk tv, but that's how i feel.   why can't there be shows that glorify engineering as a profession?   i know that sounds really nerdy; but, deep down, i resent that.   i guess star trek sometimes fills the roll, n' macgyver's the classic example.   neway, this all sounds nerdy, huh?   lemme tell u sumpthin' else 'bout tv programming: when i c korean dramas, i just think they're so much more realistic than american dramas.   like during this past socal trip, i saw some korean dramas while kaela's parents were watching tv.   yah, i could just relate to the plots n' characters better than most american dramas.   i could better believe ppl i know'd get into these situations.   i think the same is prob'ly true 4 chinese dramas, altho' i think they're a li'l more melodramatic.   i'm sure japanese dramas r similar.   i know i liked long vacation.   i know this makes me sound really ethnocentric; but, if u'r not asian, try to understand.   after all, just think how often i do watch programs where the main characters r all caucasian n' african american; n' compare that to how often americans watch programs where the main characters r all asian, etc.

so what do i like to watch on tv?   well, i'll watch the simpsons obviously; but don'tchu dare think i'm that narrowminded.   altho' i've just learned from experience not to like tv 2 much, i do like some non.simpsons programming.   i can enjoy a sitcom now n' then.   albeit i find most sitcoms rather insipid, banal, asinine, n' describable by many other negative s.a.t. wurds.   i can bear to watch shows that r overly bubblegum pop hip, such as buffy or angel.   i like the x.files.   i don't really like the lone gunmen cos they cm like weird, nra freaks.   uhm, i'll watch the news.   news is usually good n' educational.   well, speaking of educational, i esteem pbs programming to a certain extent.   neway, that's my 32¢ on the topik of tv.

well, last nite we finished putting 2gether kaela's ikea desk n' basically cleaned up.   i started marinating 2 kinds of chicken: maewoondalk n' honey teriyaki chicken.   i hope the maewoodalk is spicy; n' i don't know what to expect w/ my experimental teriyaki chicken.   we ended up staying up pretty late housekeeping.

2day, i came to werk dressed pretty casually cos i thought i'd end up spending lotsa time moving a microscope from sf to corte madera.   in the end it was really quick.   my cowerker alfred came w/ me to help me.   i felt bad that i dressed so casually cos my office had some very important visitors.   nuts.   man, the whole idea of office attire really frustrates me, as u know.   i don't have khakis right now cos my last pair of gap khakis, which i really liked, got holes worn into the right butt pocket cos of my old cellfon. nuts.   during lunch, i drove out to novato to go to target to buy plastic bins to hold my cds.   i was starving so i bought a grilled stuffed burrito combo 4 lunch.   i didn't even notice the cheese that came w/ the nachos in the combo.   i didn't eat ne of that cos it just cms 2 unhealthy.   i sorta wasted my $$$ i guess.   even worse, i came back n' found out i could've eaten free leftovers from the important mtg.   i did eat a li'l, but i wasn't very hungry.   uhm; i know u wouldn't want to hear me say this, but i feel like i'm gettin' fat these days.   ha. man, really.   lemme tell u, i know it's not like i'm really gettin' "fat," but i can feel that i'm gaining fat.   i mean, i can feel when i gain fat, however li'l it is.   i've eaten a lot lately n' skipped 2 nites of practice in a row.   hrm... i'm not anorexic, but sometimes i wonder if i'm a... whatchu call it? endorphin addict?   some1 who's addicted to exercise.   i've been werking much more harder @ werk lately; i feel more motivated.   i like it when ppl acknowledge that i know something that i'm not stoopid.   that's all i ask.

now, lemme share w/ u a passage from a post of mine from bronx's junkyard:

the topik is "the gradual hottie: love at first sight? or love at 6 months later?"

sure, maybe a gurl that u'r not initially attracted to can grow on u, but i don't think i would ever go 4 a gurl that eventually grew on me.   well, take a look @ benogurl 4 a sec.   (i know i will.)   i met her way back in 1996, right?   but i didn't get 2gether w/ her till 2000.   hrm... so u might think she grew on me, right?   well, when i 1st met benogurl, right off the bat i thought she was cute/pretty.   however, she had a bf @ that time, right?   jet, u know the story!   neway, i didn't think 'bout her 2 much cos in those days, i think i was really into meeting lotsa diff gurls neway, n' i wouldn't have gotten 2 bogged down on 1 back then neway... then i soon found out she had a bf, whom i just assumed she was happy w/, n' i just sed "nevermind," n' went looking elsewhere, n' i looked a lot.   n' i got a gf 4 a coupl'a yrs.   in the time b4 me n' benogurl hung out, i always thought she was pretty attractive, but i didn't dwell on her, 'specially cos i knew she had her bf.   then i started learning she wasn't happy w/ her bf @ all, that he was a real jerk n' was basically trapping her in the relationship.   i guess i learned this as i started getting to know her better.   i learned she was also a lot of fun to party w/ etc.   then she broked up w/ her jerk, loser exbf, n' things fell into place btwn us.

i want to mention 2 here, 'bout the topik of "the gradual hottie," that some gurls just do get prettier.   (un4tunately, some gurls get less pretty.)   i think during the time i've know benogurl, she's really gotten prettier, cuter, n' hotter.   ('member, 4 me, those r 3 distinct categories!)

my mom called me 2day n' told me reddy sent me back my deposit!   man, that makes me feel so much better!

well, last nite the beautiful kaela kang n' i celebrated our 17th monthversary.   i took her to greens @ fort mason.   we spent a long time there.   afterwards, we neoprinted in j.town.   kaela was very beautiful.   she dyed her hair, n' her lipstick n' outfit matched her hair.   i like!

well, the nite went late last nite, n' i woke up sorta groggily this morning.   i got to werk ok.   i read kaela's journal; she updated it yesterday.   my thought 4 the week: i've been thinking 'bout how important it is to cherish life, to live life to its fullest.   "these days," i entitled this entry.   "these r days we'll remember."   u could say, we'll never be this young 'gain.   that sounds a li'l pessimistic.   @ the same time, that thought 4ces us to live life now.

[later] i ate that "frozen" dinner that was in my car 4 2 days.   is that bad? well, it wasn't there 4 2 whole days, more like 1.5 days.   i hope i don't get sick.   that was my lunch.

"these days," i sed.   how 'bout "kids these days"?   i've heard my peers use that phrase.   so we're old now, huh? we're old 'nuff to say "kids these days."   maybe growing older has its benefits n' positives.   i was thinking 'bout this lately.   i was listening to kwon boa 1.5jip album.   i can hear in her voice that she's young.   back in early 1999, when toby was in my car n' heard s.e.s. n' diva's 1st albums, he thought they were absolutely horrible.   he sed they had such awful voices, that they didn't sound strong, that they couldn't stay on key.   i sed, well... they r pretty young... i guess they're younger than most popular, professional u.s. singers.   well, i think in the past coupl'a yrs, those young singers got a li'l better.   thinking of that made me feel a li'l more com4table 'bout aging.   sometimes it feels like things only get worse as u get older.   that's not always true.

kids these days... so i've been posting a li'l on bronx's junkyard 'gain.   as i sed b4, most of those guys r younger than me, like college age.   why do i go there?   i like that there's lotsa asian.am issues n' talk 'bout asian culture.   i guess college guys have more time to think 'bout those things than werking stiffs my age.   not only that, it cms like ppl a li'l younger than me, the asian ppl, r a li'l more in touch w/ asian culture than those of my age.   kids these days...

well, i'll try to be patient w/ life n' trust that everything'll be ok. "have a li'l faith," i gotta tell myself.   well, we got lotsa cleaning to do in our apt still b4 sat's housewarming party.   we still haven't finished putting 2gether kaela's desk. [later] on my way 2 werk i drank a green tea sobe lean.   the cap sed: "stiffler's mom," an american pie reference.   i was surprised cos it had nuthin' to do w/ lizards or sobe.

2day is the 17th monthversary of the beautiful kaela kang n' me.   she knows i'm taking her out 2nite.   it's summer's eve! uh... heh... honestly, it is! it's the day b4 the 1st day of summer!

last nite, practice was good.   we did demo kicks n' poomsae.   it was fun.   i want to learn palgwae.   after practice, kaela n' i went to northside safeway.   i saw owen n' romy there, while i was getting aisukuriimu.   we went home n' cooked.   we started putting 2gether kaela's ikea desk.   man, there's a lot to do b4 the housewarming party on sat!

[later] i had a funky lunchbreak.   i wanted to go out to san rafael to get a carwash cos i gotta drive beautiful kaela in a clean car 2nite, u know.   neway, i had to get lunch 2.   i wished i had brought a frozen dinner, so i could just eat cheap n' fast.   since i didn't, i decided to go 4 fast fud.   i drove out to san rafael, went to calfed to get some ca$h, then went to the nearby kfc.   i had to park in the neighbouring stripmall's lot.   i saw a security guard checking cars to make sure they belong to the stripmall's patrons.   i walked 2wards the bofa versateller.   i was gonna deposit some checks, but i started getting 2 hungry n' figured i'd do it after lunch.   i made sure the guard didn't c me, n' i slipped over to kfc.   i ordered a zinger sandwich lunch combo.   i saw this kfc had a lunch buffet 4 $5.99, but i wasn't interested.   this kfc, as well, as most fastfud joints in the san rafael area had many mexican labourers.   i ate most of my lunch, but i was 2 full.   it was pretty good.   i enjoyed the fact that this kfc provided hot sauce.   neway, i chucked the rest of my lunch, thinking what a shame it was to waste fud.   i went to the car wash w/ my coupon from safeway.   as i was clearing out the car to get ready 4 the wash, i noticed that i did indeed have a healthy choice frozen dinner in my car!   it had fallen out of the safeway bag last nite.   that explained why kaela thought 1 was missing!   ah, i c.   man, i could've saved myself a li'l ca$h n' eaten a li'l healthier... slightly. neway, i got my car washed.   some beamer got its keys locked inside, n' the employees were trying to break into it.   i tried to return toby's call from last nite while i was in practice, but i got his v.mail.   every nite, i'm bizzy w/ practice.   i hope he's not offended that i haven't had a chance to c him since he got back from his uc men's octet europe tour.   he's 1 of the few nontaekwondo friends i've got these days, right?   neway, the wash was quick, n' i got back to werk in good time.   the car's clean.   heh, sorry to bore u w/ sorta mundane details.

i've been contemplating buying some english musik, some dance musik.   i dunno whether to order it online from cdnow or towerrecords.com, or to buy it from a local berkeley cd store.   i want to get: sarina paris's album or maybe her cd single, daft punk's "one more time" single, n' gigi d'agostino's "l'amour toujours (i'll fly with you)" single.   i think that last 1 reminds me of depeche mode's "but not tonight."   some weekend, when i got time, i'd like to go to rasputin's n' shop 4 these titles, but i dunno if i'l ever have that kind of time.   maybe i should just go online?   funny; u can actually by s.e.s. recordings from cdnow, their japanese recordings.   it's really expensive tho'.   i can get discounts from cdnow n' towerrecords.com via discover card, but i dunno if it's cheaper than berkeley cd stores...   i want these songs 4 deejaying.   i'm rather upset that napster went down.   i didn't exploit it when i had the chance.

[later] earlier 2day, while i was on the toilet, i got to read the front page of the sf chronicle, which some1 had generously left in the stall.   i read 'bout a big, mainstream, metropolis2001 rave that happened @ 3com park this weekend.   the article talked 'bout how raves have gone mainstream, n' the trend started in socal.   over memorial day, while @ ontario mills w/ kaela, i overheard a mom tell her adoloscent kids in a glow.in.the.dark novelty store that she refused to waste nemore $$$ on her kids cos she just spent $40 on each of them to buy them rave tix.   i was so surprised.   i didn't think i'd ever hear a mom say something like that.   i've never gone to a rave, n' i don't really mind.   i'd have gone if chals had brought us, but it never werked out.

it was so hot down in chino this weekend!   socal in general was hot!   it's nice up here; warm, but not so scorching.   it was nice to have hot weather, i guess. 'twas nice to have something different.   socal was fun.   we went down 4 the beautiful kaela kang's bro jay's graduation from uci in computer engineering.   that was a hot, sunny, outdoor graduation.   we tried to stay kewl; kaela n' i walked over to the science library, secretly checked our e.mail, used the restrooms.   then we walked back.   oh, i didn't mention that on fri eve we went swimming in kaela's family's backyard pool.   on fri nite, we went to rowland height's life plaza, n' i bought a tarepanda sunshade some pens 4 kaela n' some strawberry juice boba drinks 4 me n' kaela.   neway, back to sat's graduation... yah, 'twas hot.   well, jay graduated.   we took some pics w/ his kewl digital camera.   their grandparents, uncle bruce, n' grandpa's bro n' bro's wife came.   jay, jeanna, kaela, n' i briefly went to the computer engineering reception.   then we all went to bookkyuhng chinese restaurant in garden grove.   it took us a while to get out of the uci parking lot.   we had a feast.   'twas good.   then joon came to pick jeanna, kaela, n' me up n' hang out.   jay went back to uci 4 'nother graduation.   1st we went to watch tomb raider @ the block in orange.   'twas a kewl movie!   i really didn't like the final fight scene tho'.   it sure is interesting that movies these days have more heroines, females in strong, bold roles.   that's good.   after the movie, we strolled 'round "the block."   we looked @ an art gallery.   kaela bought some jelly jar air fresheners from bath n' body works.   i'm looking 4 an air freshener 4 my car, but i want 1 of those asian 1s, 1 that matches my car.   after the block, we went to joon's aunt's restaurant, shilbijip, a restaurant that serves all things w/ nakji.   we had nakji bokeum, nakji pajuhn, nakji mandoo, n' jogae tang (clams).   afterwards we went noraebang.   man, i was so glad we finally went noraebang.   u know i've been dying to go 4 so long!   man, i had so much fun!   then joon brought us back to chino.   i really appreciate joon's driving us 'round!

sun was 'nother lazy day.   i eat n' sleep so much in chino.   it cms like kaela's mom's always feeding us something.   i mean, it's really good fud.   we ate lots a korean fud n' fruit n' stuff.   'least we went swimming 2ice as exercise.   we swam on sun w/ kaela's parents.   b4 that, kaela n' i went to sport chalet to buy goggles.   we also got free "i'd rather be snowboarding" license plate holders.   i'll put it on the front.   i need a car wash!   i like swimming.   on sun nite, we went to watch atlantis w/ kaela's whole family @ a very nearby theatre.   i really liked it.

mon, we were very lethargic.   we saw the lakers' victory celebration on tv.   then we packed n' left from ontario airport.   raymond picked us up.   raymond's so generous w/ rides 4 us, n' we appreciate it.   we rested, then went to taekwondo practice.   i think the 1keub/1dan/demo practice went great.   i think it was very fun n' productive.

[a li'l later] i feel good now.   maybe last week i was a li'l depressed; maybe i was just overthinking things.   i feel good now cos i get exercise pretty much every nite.   swimming was good.   the weather is beautiful.   i have a beautiful gf!

[later] i gotta admit; i've been thinking a li'l more lately of material things.   i've been thinking of getting a small, flat panel monitor, since my current monitor isn't very good.   i've been thinking 'bout a printer, since we don't have a werking printer.   *sigh* i've just been thinking 'bout hi tech, material gadgets that i'd like.   i really dunno if i'm actually gonna buy ne of them, but i've been thinking 'bout them.

did i mention we're in socal now?

happy bastille day. happy flag day. it's 144a.   yesterday, my boss threw a pizza party 4 my company.   i have some very sore back muscles.   which 1s? uh, i honestly 4get... r they my trapeziuses or something? i don't think they're my latisimus dorsi; i don't think so; but i really don't know. yesterday, after werk, 'gain, i thought i'd sell my old couch.   'gain the buyer didn't show up; surprise surprise.   well, i got a real surprise: josh is back.   when i got there, i noticed his car was gone.   i figured either he's back or it got towed.   well, i went upstairs to get ready to show the couch.   i opened the door n' saw his suitcase open on the couch w/ junk all over it.   i heard from linda buell that he went to the ukraine.   i assume 'twas 4 werk.   neway, he's back.   i didn't sell the couch; i guess i'll just ditch it there.   i left my set of keys on the kitchen counter n' closed the door 4 1 last time. crazy.   oh well; i'll never go back there.

well, it's been a taekwondo.filled week, a beginning of a taekwondo.filled summer.   practices have been good n' have made me feel better.   so 2morrow, as in fri, the beautiful kaela kang n' i leave 4 socal 'gain.   i hope to meet up w/ joon.   u gotta read his new journal! [man, the dial.up kicked me off 'gain! it keep's doing that lately when i login from kaela's 'puter late @ nite!] i'm hoping we go to joon's aunt's restaurant, where they serve everything made w/ nakji.   nakji remind me of those wacky wall walker toys.   i had 1 1nce from a box of uh... i think fruit loops.

[later] well, the past coupl'a days @ werk have been much happier.   kaela talked to me on mon tues nite, n' i came to werk w/ much better motivation.   u know, happiness snowballs.   i guess, un4tunately, depression also snowballs...   neway, if i'm happy, i do things better, then i feel better.   that's what i mean by snowballing.   i had a baja mahi mahi burrito from la salsa 4 lunch.   it wasn't cheap, but i wanted to try it.

yesterday, while driving over the bridge to werk in the morning, i looked under the bridge's guardrail, n' over the side of the bridge's road surface's edge n' saw sea lions basking in the sun on the rocks jutting out of the bay water below.   how could i possibly not like a sight like that?!   this morning, on my way, i think i might have spotted them 'gain, but i was driving 2 fast to be sure.   i was in a hurry to get to werk cos i was late but was making good time.   usually @ that time of morning, the hwy is crowded w/ big rig trucks.   2day, i lucked out.   sea lions, elephant seals; the exist.   i used to sometimes say "sea elephants"; i don't think there r such things as sea elephants, nor elephant lions.

i entitled yesterday's entry "monday blues," altho' i sed that mon wasn't going all that bad.   yah, it wasn't that bad.   neway, i think these really took a turn 4 the worse when i came home from werk.   *sigh* things just got really sucky.   well, i went to practice, n' that was fine.   then i came home.   the beautiful kaela kang was doing laundry.   she told me to go down to the laundry room w/ her, n' then i accidentally locked us out. *sigh* man! well, we got to talk to our neighbours.   we met scott the electrician/contractor.   he 1st let me borrow his ladder to try to go thru the sliding door.   'twas locked.   then he drilled out our lock.   it's no big deal cos we still have 2 other locks, n' i can easily fix this lock.   *sigh* 'twas nice to meet our neighbour w/ the black cat, but it's 2 bad we had such a hassle.   neway, i just felt lousy 2nite.   oh, it's 1247a right now, so i say "2nite."   i just have all sorts of crap probs i don't want to talk 'bout.   i feel crappy.   also, as i started this entry, the dialup kicked me off 4 a sec.   i hate when that happens!

well, what can i look 4ward to?   i really want to fix up this site, get those newer pics up.   i want to make some remixes on the 'puter.   so rosie hsueh asked me to dj her n' mark afram's marriage.   i asked jerome what he thought cos i was very iffy 'bout it.   i wasn't sure if i'd have fun doing it, or if i'd just get stressed over it.   i'm still not sure which, but jerome recommends we do it.   hrm, u know what i mean by it'd just stress me out?   *sigh* i dunno... in a way djing this wedding'd make me feel like my life's not going newhere... in several ways.   on sun, jeanna asked me a li'l 'bout how my djing bizness went during college, if i made much $$$. 'course not; it had to be 4 fun.   1 thing, tho', 'bout djing weddings, which isn't so true 'bout normal parties, is that i sometimes get put into a very service position... instead of being an artist, respected 4 his werk, i can feel more like a paid service person... well, like "hired help." depending on the client, i can really resent that feeling.   i mean, shoot! i can get paid much more than the measly fee i charge 4 djing 1 nite by werking a few hrs as an engineer! well, i'm not saying that i expect rosie, mark, or their families to mistreat me, but i just know lousy customers n' lousy gigs exist.   w/ jerome's advice as a friend, i'm better considering doing the gig, but i still gotta do a li'l thinking; altho' rosie sed she needs an answer asap.   *sigh* well, it'll prob'ly be yes.   aug 11.

blammo signed the gbook.   thanks, blammo.   u know that my gbook keeps changing right?   i change the questions.   i wish stoopid htmlgear'd get their service werking 'gain, so i can have a fully html.customisable gbook, but right now i got their lame dumbed down version!   neway, take a sec to sign it, please.   i'm experiencing annoying net lag.   blammo tells me to become a chef.   u know, i really 1nce dreamed of that, back in college when i'd procrastinate from studying by cooking fancy dinners.   restaurants r such risky bizness!   'course ken sez that only 1 mcyukyuk's in history ever closed!   as i mentioned, ken sed he'd like to buy a mcyukyuk's someday.   *sigh* man, i wouldn't want that.   if i were a chef w/ my own restaurant what would i serve?   maybe it sounds trite, but i think i'd want to serve asian.fusion.   c, u prob'ly guessed that... beno's always asian this asian that, asian.am this asian.am that.   man, as i watched a night at the roxbury, i flashed back 'bout how ken n' i used to dream of opening our own niteclub someday.   how i'd dj there, etc.   uhm, i really don't think that'll happen.   c, i had such dreams of living a rock n' roll lifestyle, huh?   how do u think i feel 'bout that?   maybe it's just my pms mood swings, but right now, as u can tell, i'm really... i dunno... feeling negative 'bout my life's path.   i dunno what i want.   it's 102a.   i gotta get to werk in the morning.   why am i up?   well, i do gotta fetch the laundry when the dryer's done.   man, what am i gonna do 'bout life?   well, let me tell u... i still try to think it ain't 'bout $$$.   in all honesty, i'm getting very uneasy 'bout my mom's still talking 'bout my buying a house.   i really can't say my life's headed in that direction!   i can't say 4 sure i'll have the $$$.   i can't say 4 sure i can commit to a location.   i really don't like the pressure.   i'm 'ready tearing myself 'part inside thinking 'bout my future as it speeds straight @ me like a train. *sigh* i dunno; maybe i'm exaggerating my internal drama.   my official stance on my life right now is that i'm very thankful i've got a job that pays me, but $$$ just isn't that driving 4ce in me like it is 4 others my age.   to put it negatively, blame it on those that taught me not to be materialistic.

u know, jack's sister caroline's bf paul sed he wants to stop being an engineer by the time he's in his 30s.   he's considered bizness skool.   i'm absolutely awful @ bizness.   do u think it's cos i've tried to think so hard that $$$'s the root of all evil?   i really hated watching my parents fight 'bout $$$.   neway, even tho' i suck @ bizness, i've had those occasional whims 'bout contemplating thinking 'bout doing that bizness skool thing, but as u can c i don't really think 'bout it.   i just think, what if i changed my life n' did something like apply to law skool, bizness skool, or med skool.   then i get unusually cynical n' realise how ridiculous that is.   whatever happened to not having limits, not having restrictions, to being free to dream, to being free to think u can be nething u want to be? but then do i want to be ne of those things?

now u all think i really hate my career...   i'll deny that. [i'm experiencing such awful netlag right now.   i'm telnetted in from kaela's 'puter.   i'm lying down uncom4tably on the floor.]   i don't hate my career; i just worry tons 'bout it.   i often worry if it'll get me "places." what places?! where do i want to go?   yah, good question.   maybe i should go fetch the laundry. [a li'l later] k, i fetched the laundry. it's 130a.   there's 1 thing that went well 2nite: the dryer werked fine.   if that were the highlite of my nite, i'd feel like marge simpson.   what if i were just a male homemaker? am i 2 macho n' 2 much the american media stereotype sexist asian male to do that? i'd be fine w/ it, but i don't hope 4 it.   i don't hope to do it as an escape from taking care of other things in life.   'course when it comes time to take care of family, i want to be there.   i've sed that b4.   rn't i jumping ahead of myself tho'?

[next morning] i'm stealing this bit from carol liao.   it's some mass e.mail type thingy she received:

"Quarter-life Crisis"

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get hot and scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you are. You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared. You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all. You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You wonder what in the hell is wrong with you. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a great life for yourself. What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it and we are all in this together. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. We are making a lot of mistakes, but helping one another learn from them and reaching out to pull one another up. We are not the shiniest group of people, but we are very much a circle. We are there for one another and will listen and help heal and grow for the rest of our lives. We will piss one another off, but we will also heal one another's hearts. We are the group who will always call on birthdays and laugh at the end of a conversation that started with angry words. We are a group that talks trash about the same people we call to meet up with on a Friday night, but we are sorry about it and we know that they know that we were just being insecure like they have been. We are friends and in 10 years, when we have figured out where we fit in this world, we will still be friends always and forever!

i guess that really describes how i feel.

[later] i'm writing quite often n' quite a good amt lately, huh?   do u think i write more when things rn't so well than when things r great?   eh, i don't think that's necessarily the case.   whenever i'm bizzy i might not write so often.   while leaving the bathroom i had a thought: when u hang 'round young ppl, u c them grow up. when u hang 'round older ppl, u c them grow older. it's diff.   all morning, i've had some angst.ridden thoughts.   i started thinking: to all my peers who smugly proclaim they've got their lives set n' that they love what they're doing n' know where they're going, f**k u!   adolescent confusion n' fear turn into teen angst. teen angst turns into young adult angst. young adult angst turns into adult angst. adult angst turns into elderly bitterness.   ugh! what morbid, negative, cynical thoughts!

@ lunch, i went to home depot to make more copies of our apt key, make copies of the laundry key kaela borrowed from our neighbour, buy a new door lock, n' buy some tools.   i spent quite a bit of $$$ there.   i also bought a rekeying kit 4 the lock n' a bottle of some "goo gone" stuff to take the duct tape goo off from the passenger side of my dashboard.   i didn't eat a proper lunch, just several slices of wheatberry bread that i bought from safeway yesterday.   i felt a li'l hungry on my way to home depot, but i figured i prob'ly was just feeling like eating out of boredom.   i started thinking of all the eating disorders ppl can have in this world.   some ppl overeat when they're stressed, some starve when they're stressed.   so what's healthy eating.   well, i'm not bulimic 'course, but this journal is sorta like a purge, i'm vomitting my thoughts on to the web.

[later] sometimes i wish i could be a writer.   then i realise i have nuthin' to write.   i write this dumb journal almost everyday, but it's not real writing.   that 0.25 life crisis e.mail fwd thingy stirred up some emotions in me as i read it.   maybe it was designed to be a bit of tearjerker, to hit 2 close to home.   if u really want to, u can sometimes get to ppl's emotions.   that makes me think of an episode of blind date where this gurl was really cocky n' started bagging on her date, who cmed like a pretty nice guy.   she was a decent looking gurl, but she really went off on how she was just 2 good 4 her date, that he was so worthless, that he was just a bagboy in a supermarket.   i think he was actually some kind of manager or owned his own grocery store or something, but she was being really mean.   neway, he was pretty good 'bout not breaking down in front of her, 'bout just shoving those insults back in her face by pointing out how her arrogance.   still, the videoed his solo ride home.   viewers could c that he was feeling a li'l depressed, that her insults were getting to him as he sat there by himself thinking.   i hate most "reality tv."   in fact, i hate most stuff on t.v.   surprisingly, i do sorta like blind date.   neway, i was pting out a case of 1 person having control over 'nother person's emotions, in a way.   u always have the option of just being a mean person, right?   'course ppl can always be mean to u.   sometimes i'm my own worst enemy.   u 2 can be ur own worst enemy.   ask me how.   ha ha. *sigh*

seriously tho' self degradation, self abomination is the devil's friend.   god doesn't make junk.   he made me who i am 4 a reason.   u know, i looked @ myself in the bathroom mirror this morning n' was tempted to recite, "i'm good enuf. i'm smart enuf. n' doggonit, ppl like me."   u can judge ur self worth by ur $$$, ur job, ur looks, ur popularity, ur physical ability.   u can also just have confidence in the idea that god putchu on this earth 4 a reason, n' that makes u worth his time, n' so u can't be worthless.   maybe u think it's so weird i'm talking all religiously all the sudden.   oh well.

[later] raymond called me from ikea.   he'll buy 4 me the bamboo blinds we so much need.   i'm very thankful he's doing that 4 us.   i'll pay him back.

2 much discontentment in 2day's entry.   i need to remember not to take things 4granted.

sometimes, i don't like mondays, just like many ppl don't like mondays.   oftentimes it cms like stuff just plain goes wrong on mondays.   neway, mon, so far, isn't bad; but eh, hope 4 the best but prepare 4 the worst, i guess.   so yesterday, i brought jeanna to ken's milpitas store to buy a fon.   she bought an lg fon. ... [a li'l later] man, some1 @ our company opened an e.mail virus.   i saw it just now n' the i.t. manager was right nearby, so i told him right away.   man, crazy!   i guess i've cn viruses b4.   i'm glad i've never spread an e.mail virus.   luckily, i often use telnet n' leave my mail on the ocf unix server.   i don't use outlook 'cept when my werk makes me.

neway, so i hung out w/ ken a bit yesterday @ his milpitas store.   me n' jeanna walked in, n' ken had us go to the back room, which is actually bigger than the front showroom.   i heard some chirping.   wow! ken had cockatiels!   they're grace's.   he was just taking care of them since grace was home in janesville.   the thing is, he thought they were 2 noisy, so he put them in the bathroom w/ the lights out n' the door closed!   man... neway, i got to play w/ them a li'l.   there were 2 cockatiels.   ken was hungry, n' so was i.   he told me to order some fud from this chinese restaurant across the street called kowloon.   nuthin' on their menu sounded 2 appealing to me, so i just ordered a chicken salad cos i thought it'd be 'least a li'l healthy.   he got chicken fried rice.   the order really sounded like americanised chinese fud, huh?   neway, i picked up the fud.   i got some drinks from the liquor store next door.   the chicken salad was pretty nasty, n' i didn't bother to finish it.   it was really oily; yuck!   we all just hung out 4 a while.   then ken drove out to reno to pick up grace.   she was sick.   her mom was gonna drive her to reno, then ken was to pick her up n' bring her home.   man, he had to drive to reno n' back!   i assume he go there n' back ok last nite.

when ken left, so did we.   i drove to the milpitas 99 plaza to buy a strawberry pearl tea from fantasia.   then we went to fry's.   i spotted michelle kim there, but i didn't say hi.   that happens.   the fremont/milpitas area has a very large indian community, i noticed.

[later] i'm not necessarily having a bad mon by ne means, not having a blue monday.   the only thing blue 'bout 2day is that i was listening to dj doc's "d.o.c. blues" on the way to werk.   that's all.   i got a msg in my gbook from dack ragus of dack.com 2day.   he tells me he sympathises w/ lotsa my future.stressing.   i'm glad to hear from some1 who knows who knows what i mean.   i dunno if it is, but it's feels like support.   i was telling jeanna yesterday a li'l bit 'bout how it feels to be this "old."   i guess she asked how it feels to be old, so i mentioned how it cms to me that most famous ppl, such as entertainers, get famous btwn 22 n' 28.   in fact, so many famous ppl die @ 27.   it makes me feel like i gotta make my mark on this world or something; not necessarily be famous, but be something.

this all makes me think of that 90s movie reality bites.   my peers n' i didn't love that movie.   we liked the soundtrack, but we didn't relate @ all to the movie.   we thought those characters were pretty pathetic.   ben stiller's character cmed like a sellout, n' the rest cmed like losers.   i think i have a better perspective on that movie now.   what did i think back in 1993, when i was 18, that i'd be doing now, when i'm 25?   man, i prob'ly thought i'd have finished grad skool, have a rock band, n' be ready to get married.   i hoped to be successful in the traditional sense, yet be kewl n' hip.   in some ways the 18 yr old me'd consider the 25 yr old me a bit of a sellout cos i don't run 'round w/ long, purple hair n' doc martens nemore.   the 18 yr old me'd be very disappointed in the 25 yr old me 4 not having a rock band.   did i even consider that i needed $$$ to survive?   well, i planned 4 a simple life.   in 1993, we were coming out of the great depression of the late 80s / early 90s, n' i thought i could just live a simple grungerocker's life.   still i'd be a smart guy.   things change.   the internet turned graphical.   i lost 50 lbs.   did i decided not to grow up n' sell out?   did i decide not be a kid nemore?   in some ways i'm still a kid, a big kid, immature.   if u wanna rag on me, go ahead.   tell me i'm immature 4 spending my nights doing taekwondo instead of werking late in the office.   tell me i'm immature 4 going clubbing on weekends instead of out 4 cocktails in a south of market bar after werk.   i felt kinda adultish buying furniture @ ikea a coupl'a weeks 'go, but u know... even college students buy furniture! maybe i feel kinda adultish moving in w/ my gf, but even college students move in w/ their gfs (sometimes).   is there nething i do that makes me an adult?!   so u can rag on me 4 being immature.   yet that 18 yr old back in 1993 can also rag on me 4 being 2 mature.   well, which is it?

don't i sound like a 12 yr old? stuck in between.   a 12 yr old's stuck in btwn childhood n' teenagehood.   a 25 yr old is stuck in btwn young adulthood n' mature adulthood, also known as real adulthood.   [a li'l later] back on 29 march, 2001, i wrote in "internet outage" 'bout how grocery shopping @ safeway on a warm, pre.spring evening made me feel "settled" in a good way.   by saying that, i meant i felt a li'l adult @ that time.   how can i have the best of both worlds?   what would "having the best of both worlds" mean?   it'd mean i'd never feel immature, 'least i wouldn't feel shamefully immature 4 nething i do.   still i wouldn't feel like a boring, old fart.

i bought a lottery ticket from the safeway by my office @ lunch.   i mention safeway so much in my journal.   can u believe safeway is such an integral part of my life?!   neway, i bought the 1 lotto ticket cos i knew the jackpot is $45 million cos i saw a sign in oscar's hamburgers on shattuck on my way to drop of a video (quills) @ blockbuster in the morning b4 going to werk.   i 4got to return the video yesterday, but i needed to return it by noon 2day or face late fees.   i hate late fees.   does driving to blockbuster to return a video make me an adult?   uh, no.   maybe kids who can't drive don't drive to blockbuster to return videos, 'specially r.rated videos, but ne kid w/ a driver license can drive to blockbuster to return a video.   i've had a driver license 4 almost 10 yrs now.   it's been a long time since hs.   while in hs, i romanticised hs life.   i thought hs life was so kewl, n' i loved the idea of hs life.   i cherished hs life.   in a way, i'm glad; 'least i didn't take my youth 4granted.   i don't wish i were in hs 'gain or nething foolish like that, but i'm just saying i cherished my hs life, n' i cherish some of the memories.   when i say that u'd think i'd still hang out w/ more of my hs friends, huh?   i don't c my hs friends all that much, besides ken.   if u count owen as a hs friend, then i do c owen.   it's just owen was only @ my hs 4 1 yr.   i thought college life was so kewl, loved the idea of college life, cherished college life, n' cherish some of the memories.   again, i don't really hang out all that much w/ my college friends.   strange, huh?   is it that i just don't value my friendships?   no! i really care 'bout my friends.   i think many of my friends move away... perhaps they move on.   in ne case, they go somewhere where i'm not.   it happens.

i don't want to feel that i'm not making progress in life.   i could tell myself lies like that, but i gotta get real.   as opposed to that, i need to keep a positive attitude.   put on that happy face!

i'm glad joon's back into journalling!   u gotta check out his site; but use ie not ns.   so let me finish talking 'bout what i did yesterday.   i came home. i started marinating some maewoon dalk.   then the beautiful kaela kang came home.   we thought 'bout what else to eat.   she planned to cook golbaengi.   i needed to buy some sesame oil cos we couldn't find ne.   i went to safeway n' bought a li'l, tiny bottle of rip off sesame oil 4 $4.19.   i came home.   kaela cooked.   patrick came by to buy a 2 piece adidas hogu set off me.   then me n' kaela ate n' watched tv.   i scanned a few pics on kaela's 'puter via the scanner roland gave her 4 christmas.   i'd like to show them to u, but i'll try to get them organised on a webpage 1st.   *sigh* u think that'll ever happen?   will i ever update this webpage besides the journal?   i hope so.

happy b.day, grace!   last i heard, steve (her husband) is taking her out 2nite.   they just moved into a new place.

yesterday, my mom came up from san jo, n' we went to jack's mom's new rental place in san ramon; i.e. the new place in san ramon she bought to rent out.   man, honestly... it's really nice.   it's huge.   actually, 1st we stopped by pusan plaza to buy my mom a new rice cooker, just like mine.   then we were off to san ramon.   i hadn't cn jack in over a yr.   he's in law skool @ uc hastings.   he's going out w/ laverne sheu now.   she's goes all the way back to leland n' the canaan church youth group days.   she went to cal n' was actually in taekwondo 4 a while.   she's a really good cellist n' is in grad skool @ columbia now.   i didn't ask, but i'm assuming she's studying musik.   k, i dunno who's reading this, but i'm hoping it's ok 4 me to just talk... i hope this doesn't sound 2 gossippy cos i'm just writing my thoughts.   it was kinda interesting to c laverne w/ jack cos she used to be jocelyn's bro howard's gf.   i guess i used to know howard better than jocelyn, but since jocelyn was in taekwondo 4 longer, n' howard took off 4 south africa, i guess i hung out w/ jocelyn n' jeff more.   i just recently saw howard that time we went to watch shrek.   i almost accidentally mentioned that, just instinctively; but i managed to think straight.

neway, continuing w/ speaking candidly, lemme tell u... these familyish parties that i've been to lately n' cing old h.s. friends make me feel a li'l self.conscious.   i start wondering 'bout myself, u know?   k, think 'bout this: i mean, really don'tchu feel family n' old friends measure ur success?   they've known u since ur "humble" beginnings, so they can track ur progress.   i get the feeling the do it in 2 ways: 1) $money$ n' 2) education.   these ppl want to hear that ur either rich or well.educated... or hey! both ain't bad.   not to sound bitter, but it cms like whether u'r a good person or not takes a backseat to these things.   well, lemme tell u... on fri, i was @ linda's graduation, right?   her dad's a cop; her bf's a firefighter like her n' bruce, n' there were lotsa other firefighters 'round, obviously.   these ppl r sacrifice their lives 4 the good of the ppl.   they r ppl of physical courage.   that's a value they esteem.   that's a different value system, n' being there, i'd worry if they think less of me 4 not living that life. u know what i'm saying? like the big $$$ n' big degree game isn't played there! but the brave civil servant gave ain't played amongst those that play the $$$ n' degrees game. 2 value systems @ werk.   neway, the $$$ n' degrees game is what i'm exposed to more.   *sigh* so u know, i re.evaluated my life... man, am i doing the right thing?   shouldn't i get some big degree if i'm not gonna be raking in the dough like crazy?   then 'gain can i do more education?   man, i haven't taken the gre. i dunno if i'd even want to put up w/ more skool! n' neway, what's w/ this keepin' up w/ the joneses game?!?!?! would my motivation to go back to skool be to better myself? or would it simply be to fit in w/ a social circle? would i be being true to myself?   who am i? *sigh* man, look @ this being 25 is like being 13! it's actually really frustrating. i can stress myself to pieces! i have a future to take care of, n' it's comin' up really soon.

i'm speaking really candidly 2day, but ain't that whatchu on.line journal readers savour? u know, @ werk i'm surrounded by many educated ppl, so many phds!   u know that my grandfather's a professor, n' my dad's a phd.   c, the beautiful kaela kang tells me that her grandfather really wants her to get a phd, n' that's big pressure.   even tho' my grandfather never put pressure on me to go to grad skool; i've given plenty of internal grief on the topik.   'member all that "4 every 3 generations, 1 falls" crap that s.mike gave me?! n' that was in the days of the great hi.tech economic boom. in those days going to grad skool was a li'l insane 4 an engineer. u know, but i mostly know law skool students; so many future lawyers.   that's prestigious in many ways; u can be: 1) rich, 2) educated, 3) a charitable person to society werking 4 a good cause.   sure, u hear jokes 'bout lawyers being sharks n' scum, but u know... i mean, honestly, it cms to me like the future lawyers 'round me r very respectable ppl n' will have very respectable careers.   earlier i was talking 'bout the firefighter/cop circle v. the law/doctor/engineer circle... there's a circle i haven't cn so much of lately... u know, there's ppl who'd really respect a person of god.   they'd very much respect u 4 being a pastor, a missionary, or 'least some1 who donates much of his/her time to god's werk n' church.   c? ain't that a value system? n' furthermore, there's other circles where other things r respected, like taekwondo.   they'll respect u 4 being a taekwondo master/sabuhm/gwanja or an olynpic athlete.   now, there's an very "inside" circle... i mean, if u'r not in taekwondo n' not korean, u might not respect these ppl as much as some1 who is.   i c that as a pt that dr. min is trying to get us to believe by telling us to focus more on our academics/careers.

neway, so what's the outcome of all this thinking? is it introspection? partially. it's also just partially thinking 2 much 'bout what others think of me.   well, shoot... i want to have a career. i want to be able to have a marriage n' family someday.   family man... c why i like the movie the family man so much?   that's what i stress out the most 'bout in life... what i stress 'bout the most in life is that what i want in life is to have a happy marriage n' family someday, but it cms like society has tossed that aside n' what they want to c me have the most is career, etc.   sheesh! 'course i know that's important, yah! 'course! maybe it's cos my parents r divorced is why i want so much to have a happy marriage n' family life in the future. maybe my ol' h.s. friends'll never understand that. maybe my ol' college friends'll never understand that. maybe my own family'll never understand that. whatever! still... i know i hafta make sumpthin' of myself... just like 4 every1 else in this world, i'd hafta sacrifice sumpthin'. *sigh* k, maybe that's the theory of limited good that we studied in folklore anthropology classes. *sigh* u know what "limited good" is?   some cultures believe that in order to have good, u must have bad in some other area.   there's only so much good in this world.   having fud to eat means some1 else is going hungry.   maybe having a successful career in the future'd mean sacrificing family.   in most cases going to grad skool right now'd me sacrificing $$$.   u can't have ur cake n' eat it 2, they say.

@ yesterday's party i talked 'lot w/ jack's sister caroline's bf paul, who graduated from berkeley chemical engineering in 1997.   i felt very akin to him, being a young engineer out of cal.   he werks in silicon valley n' commutes from berkeley. crazy.   neway, he cms like a really kewl guy, in my opinion.

my mom n' i got back to the berkeley apt right after kaela did.   after my mom left, kaela n' i ate the soondae n' kimbap from pusan plaza 4 dinner.   then after resting, we went to blockbuster to rent quills, the movie 'bout the marquis de sade.   it was interesting.   what kind of movies do i like best?   i like best comical dramas 'bout love n' maybe some of life's personal struggles.   as u've heard me say b4 i'm sure, i really like eat drink man woman.   i like these comical, romantic dramas the best, but i like other movies.   shoot, man... i'm a guy, i do like a good action movie! i want to c swordfish this month, altho' i don't expect it to live up to the matrix.   i like comedies well, but i don't like childish, underthought humour!   that's why i detest most tv sitcoms.   i like horror movies, but i haven't heard of ne good horror movies lately.   kaela doesn't like horror movies.   i don't love them that much.   i'll only watch them when kaela's not w/ me, as u know.   well, i appreciate deep, philosophical movies... whatever that means! well, i know this: i surely don't mind watching independent n' foreignovies!   'course i'll always be eager to watch asian movies.   [a few mins later] i just got off the fon w/ ken.   i talked a while 'bout these things i was just saying, 'bout stressing 'bout career n' stuff.   he sympathized.   'course he's very motivated to make lotsa $$$.   he talks 'bout stuff like owning a mcyukyuk's n' gas station in the future.   well, yah... those'll bring in $$$, but they're not so much my cup of cha.

so i did pretty much what i sed i'd do yesterday.   i brought raymond w/ me to ikea to return those undersized bins n' the undersized blinds.   then raymond figured 'twas 2late to go to fremont fry's.   i agreed.   i ate a frozen yogurt @ ikea.   i tried to find deeper bins, but i didn't find ne.   i had a problem cos i didn't return the bin lids, which r purchased separately, cos i figured i'd find deeper bins that'd fit the same lids.   nuts!   neway, then raymond n' i drove back to berkeley.   i wanted to get a pearl drink, but i didn't find parking.   then we went back to my place to change 4 linda's graduation n' hurried off to oakland city hall.   the graduation was not like a college graduation.   'twas somewhere in between that n' a taekwondo belt promotional ceremony.   there were a whole bunch'a speeches, n' even mayor jerry brown made a very short speech.   linda's dad really doesn't like jerry brown.   i guess jerry brown's 2 liberal 4 him.   only 6 recruits graduated into oakland firefighters yesterday.   linda was the only female.   they cm like a very tight bunch.   4 each, parents or wife/gf came up to pin their new badge on him/her.   after the ceremony n' refreshments we went to pizzeria uno 4 lunch/dinner.   linda had plenty of family in attendance as well as many friends.   from the taekwondo bunch: brandie, bruce, laura, raymond, n' me.   we finished 'round 500p.

i got home just as the beautiful kaela kang was getting back from her minorities in cancer research conference in union city.   i brought her back some pizza from uno.   we rested 4 a very short time then we went back out.   we planned to go clubbing w/ linda n' friends.   we planned to go somewhere in the east east bay, in concord.   linda sed it'd be a quite different setting from our usual clubs, well... definitely more "white" not so much our usual asian hangouts, right?   actually, we 1st planned to go to a country western club in concord.  w e 1st tried to meet up in orinda @ a starbuck's, so my car could follow rick's.   (rick is linda's boyfriend.)   they didn't realise that there isn't a starbuck's where they thought there was 1.   in the end we met up @ a baskin robbins in orinda.   phew, luckily i werked in orinda 4 ebmud 4 a while.   from there we took off 4 concord after getting a li'l aisukuriimu.   we got to the country western place but decided not to go there cos the "theme" of the place changed.   'twas a country western dancing bar on the 1st floor n' a hip.hop/top40 club on the 2nd; n' u rn't allowed to go btwn the 2.   i guess the pt was that we wanted to have the pool tables n' games of the country western room, but the musik of the hip.hop/top40 room.   we looked 4 'nother venue n' ended up @ o.kearney's in walnut creek.   it reminded me of club fusetti.   'twas seriously a different setting from our usual.   it was more of a grown up frat party.   well altho' 'twas a diff experience, it was fun.   sometimes it's fun to do something different, u know?   i went there to have fun n' celebrate linda's graduation, n' that's what we all did.

thanks, jerome, 4 reading my journal even while u'r all the way in japan!   drink biiru n' eat aisukuriimu!

so i'm on my reduced werkweek day off right now.   last nite's taekwondo werkout felt good.   dr. lieu led a basic sparring werkout.   master yoon asked me n' sung to lead that 1geub / 1dan class on mon n' wed nites, respectively.   so i'll prob'ly be doing taekwondo mon thru thurs nites.   after practice yesterday nite, sally, clarence, raymond, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to thai basil.   i had this fried pompano w/ chili sauce.   it was pretty big n' very good.   2day i gotta return/exchange stuff @ ikea n' fry's n' hopefully make it to linda buell's firefighter's graduation @ 200p.

last nite, after werk, i picked up the beautiful kaela kang from home n' drove her to pick up her car.   on the way, we stopped by the mcyukyuk's in alameda, by super k.   i got a mcchicken minimeal deal, n' she got a reese's mcflurry.   the unhealthy fud tasted so good cos i was so hungry.   then we picked up kaela's car n' drove home.   there was a stoopid car blocking our spaces in the lot, so i left a note on its windshield.   then we went to taekwondo practice.   sung led a special werkout 4 the 1keub n' 1dan.   i joined in cos i want to learn poomsae.   we werked on other stuff tho', 1 step self defense w/ hands n' flying side/back kicks.   i really want to learn the palgwae poomsae, so i'll be ready when they ask me to test 4 3dan... whenver that is.   i dont want to ask them; after all, that's not the policy nemore 4 higher dan candidates.   they're s'pposed to ask u.   after practice, we went home.   kaela cooked some salmon to put ontop of salad n' made pasta.   i really appreciated it.   i want to do some more cooking 2.   it's been a while since i made something that i was proud of.   i'm glad we got our new 'partment.   i can cook 'gain.

after dinner, i organised some of our prints from ofoto into my foto albums.   i also burned some cds from mp3s: dj doc 5jip n' boa 1.5jip.   i like the fact that boa sings in korean n' mandarin.   yesterday, during the day, kaela scanned some pics w/ the scanner roland gave her 4 christmas.   she posted them on her site, linked from her journal.   u should take a look.   i wanna post more pics, but i really gotta cleanup my ocf diskspace.   i got all those pics from back in college all saved as huge, hi.res jpgs.   man, i need to spend some time, shrink them, n' re.save them.   i need more diskspace.   we have so many pics, i tell u; but i just never have time to post them.   i hope i get 'round to it soon.

[later] the beautiful kaela kang came to my werk, n' i took her out to lunch.   she looked really pretty.   we went to cpk n' had the havana chicken pizza.   i wish i could've spent more time w/ her, but i gotta do werk.   werk sure feels like werk right now.   i feel a li'l less motivated, but i have tons of stuff to do.   i'd rather not be @ werk sometimes.   'course i'm glad i have a job tho'. [later] i can hear that my cowerker next to me is talking to some guy she's dating on the fon. geez, how come i always gotta feel like i gotta werk harder 'round here, if ppl'r gonna do stuff like that?   from what i can overhear, it's like she's interviewing him.   from her conversation, it's as if she accepts divorce as part of life, part of the timeline of life. phuc dat! i never wanna get divorced; that's 4 sure.   that's why it's so important to be picky when u'r single, to choose the right person! *sigh*

just think, in 5 yrs, it'll be 06.06.06 on this date.   crazy, huh?   i wonder if ppl'll make a big deal 'bout it.   u know the tekno group 666 w/ the song "amokk," etc?   i dunno why they got popular in korea n' r recorded on a korean label; they're not korean.   things just happen that way.   i dunno how; it's just showbiz, i guess.   my dad mentioned he bought some dvds of crouching tiger, hidden dragon while in taiwan, but he can't play them on 'merican dvd players, altho' he could play it on a taiwanese made dvd drive on a pc.   just in case ne1 wants a dvd player that can play asian dvds, u can buy the panasonic rv30 dvd player from my angelpop link; it costs $295.   ha, angelpop link... actually, there r some things i'd wat to buy from angelpop.   my last order had dj doc best summer & winter story a 2 cd set w/ 1 cdrom of videos.   i'm starting to get back into dj doc.   i think they're 5th album is pretty kewl, altho' i don't have a copy of it.   i convert some .mp3s to .wav files last nite, but i'm missing the last track of that album.   i wonder if jerome can loan me the cd when he gets back from socal.   i still have his fin.k.l. history set.   i copied it, but my copy of the nonstop remix cd has gaps in it, so i wanna redo it w/ different software.   i also got the latest club dj gayo cd, vol 5.   (uhm, u know that "gayo," (pronounced "gah yo"), refers to pop musik in korean, i hope; i hope u don't think it has nething to do w/ gay stuff... not that i discriminate 'gainst homosexuals.)   neway, this cd has this song called "mexican girl."   i'm pretty sure i've heard it from chals's maracas game w/ the square.headed monkey dancing 'round.   i think it had a different name on that game, tho'.   maybe this recording is a cover version, n' they gave it a different name; i dunno.   it has a cover version of alice dj's "better off alone."   hrm... i guess that was 1 of the biggest songs of 2000, eh?   speaking of covers, it has a new version of cyndi lauper's "shebop," but it has different lyrics, in korean, n' it's called "oppa" by wax.   neway, why am i putting all this angelpop links up?!?!   only jerome, brandie, n' i have ever used my link.   bronx of bronx's junkyard sez ppl haven't been using his link lately either.   i guess ppl just don't have much $$$ to spend these days.   it's sad.   angelpop used to have chinese, korean, n' japanese stuff; now it just has korean n' a li'l japanese.   i guess chinese musik fans buy their stuff elsewhere, perhaps from yesasia.   i'm also a yesasia affiliate, but i don't publicise my link.   u understand affiliate programs, right?   if u buy stuff from my links, then i get a li'l $$$ from it.   heh, as if i'd ever get rich off this stuff.   i'd have better luck getting rich @ home by sending out mailers.   'least w/ the angelpop link, it's like getting a rebate whenever i buy stuff from them.

last nite i spent some time moving my cds from cardboard boxes to plastic ikea bins.   well, that was late last nite.   lemme start from the beginning of the evening.   i left werk, i went home.   i got the beautiful kaela kang, n' we went to the rsf to pay our taekwondo club fees.   then we waited 4 the red/black belt class to start.   isn't it great? we're both black belts now. heh heh.   well, practice was pretty basic, but it felt good.   good werkouts make me feel good.   last nite wasn't intense 'nuff to make me feel really good, but i felt good i werked out.   i want to learn all the palgwae poomsae.   we learned 7jang n' 8jang so far.   now kaela can help me! she, of course, learned them all well 4 her 1dan test.   master yoon wasn't there last nite; kevin taught most of the class.   it's still a small class so far this summer.   after practice, kaela n' i just went home.   we cooked fried rice.   we ate that, miyuhkgook, n' ggaes ip... now that's a hard wurd to romanise.   kaela had assembled 'nother ikea dresser n' a nitestand during the day. that's kewl.   upes, i 4got to take the garbage down this morning! nuts.

i 'member 1 thing i wanted to mention that i didn't b4.   'member how my sunglasses died the nite of the white belt class dinner? (please refer to "sunglass death" on 12 april, 2001.)   on fri, when the beautiful kaela kang n' i took raymond n' laura to costco, while waiting 4 raymond's apt manager to come back w/ his key, i bought a replacement pair of sunglasses.   by "replacement," i mean to say that i bought the exact same model!   they were really cheap @ costco!   u know how i gotta have polarised lenses now ever since having getting that last pair.   the sunglasses i wear r made by killer loop.   kaela bought my 1st pair down in socal @ ontario mills.   well, i'm glad i found a replacement pair.

neway, that was last fri.   last nite, kaela brought her kia in 4 service in san leandro.   i went to pick her up, but i got to san leandro b4 her.   to kill time, i shopped @ the old navy outlet n' bought a werk polo shirt 4 really, really cheap.   i don't know if gap, inc. still supports the gop.   how can they support the republicans when most of the clientele i c in old navy r minorities, mostly african american.   i dont' mean to say african americans can never be republicans, but statistically they r, right?   i never take all that much joy in shopping 4 werkclothes; it's just something i hafta do.   can't go to werk naked, u know.   i bought my shirt, then picked kaela up.   then i drove back 2wards berkeley.   we stopped in chinatown to eat pho 4 dinner.   then we went grocery shopping @ pusan plaza.   then we went to blockbuster on shattuck to get miss congeniality.   we had a free rental coupon 4 that particular movie cos sometime back during finals time, we tried to rent it but it was out altho' a guaranteed rental.   we went home, watched the video, n' assembled ikea furniture.   we each ate a melon bar.   u know those green korean frozen melon bars, right?   they r really good.

i don't hear from ppl 'nuff these days, as i was sorta mentioning yesterday.   i wanna know how ppl r doing, u know? [later] some dr. on some tv show sed that sunscreen, more than nething else, 'll keep u looking young.   i'm thinking these days that it's good to wear sunscreen whenever u can, whenever there's sun.   @ the wedding on sun, i wore sunscreen on my face n' didn't get sunburnt on my face.   however, my scalp got sunburnt.   dang! i hate when that happens.   i don't like it.   how many ppl actually like sunburns? i doubt many.   [later] i wish i could be outside.   it's such a beautiful day, but i'm stuck inside @ werk. [later] i still gotta sell that 5.piece couch set thingy. *sigh* [later] i felt really blah n' locked up in my cubicle 2day.   i would've prefered to be out in the sun.   it was a pretty blah werkday.   i'm thankful it wasn't a hectic werkday, but i just felt blah.   2nite'll be the 2nd taekwondo werkout 4 the summer.   man, i feel out of shape.   i wish i could practice more often.   2day, 'twas way 2 cold in my cubicle, 2 much air.conditioning.   i ate 4 noah's bagels 2day.

well, 'twas a bizzy weekend.   sometimes i try to cram as much into life as possible; i try to get more n' more done.   i figure i'm young n' have energy, i might as well do as much as i can.   i left off briefly telling u 'bout raymond's move.   that was fri.   it feels like i've been wanting to write a whole bunch'a stuff in the beno journal that i haven't gotten 'round to writing.   i guess 1 thing is that lately i've just been listing of stuff that we've been doing.

well, sat... i woke up n' thought i was meeting this woman from santa clara @ my old apt to sell off my couch.   nope, she stood me up.   then i called her, n' she sed she's not interested nemore.   what happened? i got so many calls 4 it, but i need an actual buyer.   well, i came back from that, n' the beautiful kaela kang n' i got ready to go to san jo.   it took a while to get ready.   we packed stuff that we wanted to store in san jo.   we had a full carload.   we took off.   we stopped by the j.box drive thru on san pablo to get lunch.   i had the 2 monster taco combo.   i hadn't eaten j.box tacos in yrs.   actually, 'riginally we wanted to go to taco bell, but the university ave. taco bell had no parking n' lacks a drive.thru window.   well, after buying lunch, we went to the emeryville ikea.   crazy madhouse!   that was my 1st time @ ikea.   the parking lot felt like ikea.   altho' our car was pretty packed, we were actually furniture shoppping.   it sounds quite ridiculous, but ikea was having some monster sale.   we bought 2 dressers, a tv shelf, n' a bedside nitestand.   we also bought a bamboo blind, some bins 4 my cds, n' some terracotta garden things 4 my mom's b.day present.   i really like the terracotta burdies. ikea... what a topik! some ppl love ikea, some ppl hate it.   'member fight club? 'member how that guy figured ikea was like the epitomy con4mist consumerism?   i figure if u think of it that way, then ikea is like the gap, inc. of furniture.   it's the place where every1 shops, so every1 ends up w/ the same stuff.   still, should that bother us?   imagine if we lived in a communist country where the government issues u all of ur clothes n' furniture.   would that be a good thing or a bad thing?   well, is communism a good thing or bad thing?   some'd say communism is extreme leftism, right?   so the idea of every1 having the same clothes n' furniture is tied in w/ the idea of making government werk 4 the ppl.   that's an idea that many of us like, right?   we'd like to c the government take care of the environment, health insurance, transportation, housing, gun control... so unless u'r an nra conservative, u ought to like ikea, right?   it's furniture 4 "the ppl."   however, some'd say it's furniture 4 yuppies, right?   what r yuppies neway?! r they kewl, young, successful ppl? or r they nerdy, greedy, con4mists? neway, what a topik, huh?   ikea is such a controversy.   i saw some alternapunkgoth couple arguing in the ikea selfserve warehouse.   that's the kind of scene that makes single guys glad they're single.   on my way to fetch the car, i ran into tiffany kim, young, romy, n' cyrus.   it took a long time to bring my car from the parking space to the loading zone.   crazy!   after we loaded up our purchases, we were off to san jo w/ a much heavier car.

well, sat nite, we ate dinner w/ grace, steve, n' my dad @ e&o trading in downtown san jo.   i heard of that restaurant, maybe only of its sf location.   i think i noticed it cos it's listed alfabetically next to eos, which we've been to.   it's an asian fusion joint, similar to xanadu.   we had a big dinner.   my dad gave me a li'l alarm clock from taiwan.   i thought i heard him tell grace that u can't get these in 'merica these days or something.   after dinner, it was kinda late, but i told ken that i'd meet up w/ him.   we don't hang out 'nuff these days.   we went to his de anza store, where he had had a bbq earlier.   when we got there it was just him n' ryan nishikawa watching movies in the backroom.   they got a huge tv n' dss there.   ken was planning to install a strut bar in his m3 that nite but lacked the proper tools.   then some asian gang fight broke out behind the store.   we heard all this noise, n' i immediately told ken to check his car.   sure 'nuff they were brawling, n' some1 landed on his hood. frick.   neway, when we came out, they moved 'way from his car, then ken quickly moved his car to the front of the store.   there wasn't ne dents, but some blood got on the hood.   i asked ryan if these "kids" always hang 'round that strip mall, but he sed it was the 1st time he ever saw them.   i guess they had been having dinner @ the japanese restaurant next door.   who knows what they were fighting 'bout; prob'ly just stoopid "u dissed my bro" stuff.   neway, the fight eventually broke up n' the guys left.   we sorta watched the green mile.

sun, we woke up in the morning.   4 of us had to share 1 bathroom; that's how it is when kaela n' i visit san jo.   we ate bagels that grace bought from safeway on sat nite.   we toasted the sliced bagels n' spread cream cheese on them.   that's a li'l unusual 4 me these days; i usually eat untoasted, whole bagels w/o cream cheese; unless i'm @ a company mtg.   then we were off to the wedding.   i drove my mom's mercedes w/ her n' kaela in it.   the wedding was @ mountain winery, 4merly known as paul masson winery.   it's very nice n' in the sartoga hills.   that saratoga area reminds me of marin county... in a good way.   (i know i tend to bag on marin county often, but it has its good pts 2!) the saratoga area has marin cty's good pts: it's a classy, elegant area w/ lotsa nature.   eh, i'm sure it also has some of marin cty's bad pts, but i haven't noticed them as much.   the wedding was rather efficient n' unreligious, unlike most other weddings i've attended.   i saw many old, familiar faces: 1) leland classmates, 2) leland classmates who also went to berkeley, 3) ppl older than me who went to leland.   henry's 3 yrs older than me, so i recognise his friends, but i don't necessarily know them.   of course, i also saw relatives, lotsa relatives.   it's crazy how time flies.   u know, u'r an adult 4 so much more of ur life than ur a kid.   it cms like some of my cousin went thru all their college yrs, n' i didn't c them during that time.   u know, i think college yrs r some precious yrs.   i definitely advise young adults to cherish those yrs.   maybe all time is precious.   heh, maybe so.   however, i was thinking 'bout how u'r only in college 4 4-8 yrs, let's say; then u'r a werking person 4 the rest of ur life... well, until u retire, 'least.   how do u like that thought?   maybe u like it, maybe u don't.   neway, that's a topik i can discuss later.   the wedding was in such a beautiful, scenic location on the mtn.   we had so horsd'oevres while the wedding party took pics.   that lasted 4 about an hr.   then we had a nice lunch.   we really liked the salad w/ the fried brie cheese.   maybe it's not good 4 u, but it was good.   i talked a li'l w/ my cousins, n' i collected their e.mail addresses.   i'd like to get closer w/ my cousins.   i felt a li'l bad when i heard 'bout my grandpa's health condition.   i don't want him to die, 'specially w/o cing me 'gain.   he ought to meet kaela.   kaela tells me she's sad her mom's side grandma never got to meet me.   i did send my grandparents picture of kaela n' me.   my grandpa can't talk right now cos of the trachiotomy that had to do to help him breathe.   even if he can't talk, i guess i ought to talk to him n' c him.   however, look @ how werk is... how would i possibly take time off to do this?   i have the vacation time, but w/ the way finances r right now, i gotta werk especially hard along w/ the rest of the company.   i dunno.   *sigh* neway, the wedding was kewl, n' i was glad to c relatives.

later in the afternoon, we went to ken's store to get kaela a different loaner fon.   we saw joe tseng there.   joe talked 'lot 'bout his job w/ silicon motion.   he's really into his werk.   ken, joe, n' i talked 'bout other fellow leland classmates.   u know, i realise that lotsa ppl who didn't do so well in high skool have gone on to do much better in life than we would've expected.   in a way, i've cn many ppl who didn't do so well, try much harder in college.   u know, it makes me wonder... u know, in asia, high skool's really stressful, but then college is easier, after u pass ur entrance exams.   it cms like asian parents 'member how asian high skool was so hard n' put so much pressure on hs kids, right?   then they get burnt out by the time the go to college.   maybe it's true that asian parents shouldn't put so much pressure on hs kids.   'course weren't we all obsessed w/ s.a.t. scores, regardless of what our parents sed?   i 'member competitive pressure.   so gettin' ur @$$ kicked in hs made u more motivated to werk in college, huh? i dunno... so what 'bout ppl who got their @$$es kicked in college? r they more motivated in their post college life?   well, how do u measure success, u know?   i mean, smart ppl rn't necessarily rich ppl, u know? u don't necessarily hafta be smart to make $$$, altho' it helps.   what gets more respect from asian families? $$$ or academic degrees? heh, n' does education necessarily equate to intelligence?   how do ne of these things relate to wisdom n' good character?   r those things unimportant?   neway, so i guess a coupl'a ppl i know who studied engineering in college r now werking in technical marketing.   so is that job kewler than being a nerdy engineer? hrm... i dunno.   neway, after taking care of fon biz, kaela n' i went to fry's, n' i bought her a new floppy drive, earbuds, n' turkey jerky.   then we went home n' packed up.   grace, steve, my mom, n' kaela, n' i ate @ sushi masa.   then kaela n' i left 4 berkeley from there.

[later] well, i feel i wrote quite a bit 2day.   i haven't heard from many ppl lately.   how r u doing?

so yesterday i didn't go to werk; i take the 1st n' 2nd fri of the month off.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i helped raymond move.   i sold my kitchen table yesterday to a single mother from oakland.   raymond had a very hard day yesterday.   there were all sorts of disasters.   it was a very bizzy day 4 me yesterday.   man, every1's moving in berkeley!   we saw so many ppl moving!   well, we had zachary's pizza @ jerome's place last nite: good health n' sausage n' shroom on honey wheat.   yum yum.   'twas raymond, laura, clarence, kaela, n' me.   then darlene n' deanna came to hang out.   well, kaela n' i gotta go to san jo 2day.

yesterday, i was pondering a li'l 'bout a certain ex.couple.   i was wondering why they broke up.   i talk to the guy a lot these days, but i never ask him 'bout their ex.relationship.   some relationships really boggle me.   obviously, kaela n' i r very public 'bout our relationship.   these covert relationships really puzzle me.   why do ppl wanna do that?

selling this couch has been a pain!   ppl keep saying they'll come look @ it, then backing out.   i'm willing to sell it 4 less, if that's what it takes.

i had such an exhausting day @ werk yesterday.   i stayed @ werk late. then i hurried home to meet this dude to sell my couch to him.   he didn't show up tho'.   i called him, n' he sed he'll come on fri morn.   i hope he does.   man, selling this furniture is a really big pain in the butt.   i wish there were an easier way! *sigh* well, after i made the fri plans, i left the ol' hillegass place.   i went to radio shack to buy the beautiful kaela kang a fon cord 4 her 'puter modem.   then i went to safeway to do some grocery shopping.   i went home.   kaela cooked portobellini shroom n' anchovy pizza w/ the stuff i bought, n' we had that n' salad 4 dinner.   i got a really bad stomach ache during dinner.   maybe it was cos i drank this expired grass jelly drink when i got home.   we had that very spicy lunch @ the thai restaurant, but it didn't affect me all afternoon n' early evening.   i dunno.   i felt bad cos i was s'pposed to help brandie n' raymond move, but i ahd such a bad stomach ache.   ugh!   *sigh* i don't so much like nites when we don't werk out.   i don't like nites spent watching tv; i'd rather be @ the rsf.   however, i guess i'd rather be watching tv in our nice, new apt; not that ol' dump.   u know, that ol' hillegass place used to be a nicer place.   the ppl living there used to be better ppl.   u know how berkeley apts r? they get passed down from generation to generation w/in some clique; like, some church fellowship group or club or something.   u know, like some member graduates n' passes the apt to a younger member...   the hillegass bldg used to be mostly like asian cliques n' asian church cliques.   i noticed, in the past coupla yrs that it's gotten to be more like frat/sorority/"greek" ppl etc n' some neohippies.   now u got more loud, drunk parties n' pissing in the elevator, etc.   'course, i'm very, very guilty of having many loud guests in the past; but pissing in the elevator?! geez; that's so nasty, tasteless, classless... man, what a dump! i'm so glad to say goodbye to that place!   i just wanna get rid of my old furniture.   i still worry 'bout what's gonna happen to my credit.   the rent board sez i gotta pay off reddy, n' then if josh doesn't give me my 0.5 of the deposit i can sue him.   sheesh... u know, i don't wanna hafta go thru all that.   i'd rather never c josh again!   ken sed i ought to steal all his stuff, his 'puter etc. n' hold it as collateral till he gives me my 0.5 of the deposit.   josh is just such a nasty.spirited guy. already, look! he was s'pposed to pay off the full rent 4 may, but he didn't do it, didn't tell me, then comes back w/ this legal b.s. that's all true, but frick! it was agreed on good faith that he'd just pay the rent n' keep the deposit.   u just can't trust the guy!   now i dunno if i should send my check off to reddy or what.   c, reddy realty; i know i can't trust those scoundrels!   they r lowdown dirty rats.   u know these ppl: they're the 1s that got in trouble illegally smuggling young gurls from india to america to be sex slaves.   can i trust them to refund my 0.5 of the deposit?   if i ever paid them 2 much on a check, i don't believe they'd refund my $$$, u know?

neway, i'm talking 'bout such negative things.   there was a time when the economy was better when $$$ didn't mean so much.   while in ontario mills on memorial day, i kept thinking 'bout how shopping in 1999 was so different from shopping in 2001.   sure, i could've been more of a cheapskate during the economic boom; yet i'm glad i wasn't as extravagant as others my age, in my position.   heh, sounds like i'm shifting blame... heh. but u know, really... i'm honestly glad i didn't waste more $$$ than i did.   it's not like i tried to wast $$$, but $$$ just didn't cm to be so important in those days.   young, werking, techie folk in those days; we just tried to think $$$'s not as important as other things in life.   we didn't all seek to get more $$$ n' buy luxurious things; we just wanted to have fun.   it didn't cm bad; what would be bad is if we were greedy, wanted to get more $$$ to buy lots of expensive, extravagant things, u know?   that'd be materialistic.   we weren't materialistic; we weren't even hedonistic!   what we were was just sorta confused.   ha, now i'm making the late 90s, young, tech professionals sound victimised.   well, some ppl'd say we were.   those netwerk news human interest stories say we were.   well, some were; others were just foolish n' stoopid.   priceline.com was a good idea; the only prob was it cmed like i always got awful flight times @ bad airports.   i enjoyed priceline gas.   kaela's bro jay knows how to get lots of good free things on.line.   darlene knows these things 2.

i'd like to update my site soon.   i have so many new pix from ofoto.

happy b.day mom!

yah, it's my mom's b.day 2day.   i hope she's having a happy b.day.   well, kaela n' i'll go to san jo this weekend.   we'll c her.

i know the 1st half of this journal entry was pretty negative n' stressful.   u know, things rn't that bad tho'; i should admit.   i'm actually very content.   i love the new 'partment.   i love being w/ kaela.   even the economy's not 2 bad.   i was looking @ some of my "portfolios" on y! n' realised things rn't that bad.   stocks r slowly climbing back up.   'course they rise n' fall all the time; but they're slowing climbing back up in the long run.

well, i'm 'bout ready to get out of my office.   the 1st practice of the summer 2nite.   man, i hope i'm not 2 out of shape.   i'm actually gettin' pretty excited 'bout 2nite's practice.

yah, last nite was the promotional ceremony, n' the beautiful kaela kang got her 1st dan black belt in taekwondo.   she's werked very hard 4 it over these past few yrs.   she definitely deserves this new rank.   i'm very happy 4 her.   congratulations!   so we have 5 new black belts: kaela, laura, erin, clarence, n' micah.   brandie got her 2nd dan now.   congratulations 2 them!   so we had our promotional ceremony n' mtg.   we talked 'bout all sorts of big plans, mostly involving the 2002 world university taekwondo championships (wutc), n' much to do w/ fundraising 4 that event.   that event'll take some $500,000 to put on!   crazy. *sigh* well, it'll be tuff, but it's 1 of those things we gotta do to promote the sport n' the martial art.   i was a li'l disappointed that not many of my white belt students could come to the promotional ceremony; oh well.   i talked to a couple of intermediate students who failed their tests.   it's always sad, but i hope they realise not passing this test is a small thing in a lifelong pursuit.   i was hoping the newly promoted black belts would get 2gether last nite n' celebrate, but every1 went their separate ways.   i took kaela n' raymond out isobune: kaela 4 her promotion, n' raymond 4 driving us to n' from the airport.   yah, raymond's been so generous w/ rides lately.

well, it was a fun memorial day weekend.   i tried to updatechu from down south, but i didn't find all that much time.   i left off on sun w/ "pajamas."   sun, kaela werked on her black belt paper, while i lazily got fat.   i just loafed, fell asleep here n' there.   then kaela's family went to a dol celebration, but we stayed home 4 kaela's paper.   we took an extended dinner break to meet up w/ kaela's hs friend mary n' johnny tien.   we planned to meet mary @ the hannam chain market in rowland heights, but then i made plans to pick up johnny from temple city.   so that we wouldn't keep ne1 waiting 2 long, i dropped kaela off then drove to pick johnny up.   mary met up w/ kaela, n' they tried to go to this hof that we found last winter, but 'twas closed; so they went to abuhm soondaejip.   i picked up johnny, but he was already eating some dinner, so i waited a li'l while he ate a li'l.   i knew he'd have room 4 more neway.   so we went to the soondaejip.   the waitress there thought i spoke korean funny.   when i went to the bathroom, she sed that to kaela, n' kaela told her i'm chinese.   then i came back; n' the waitress said that i spoke korean well, but she sed it in chinese, so i didn't understand.   i just sed in mandarin that i didn't understand, then she was all confused.   she scolded me 4 not speaking chinese n' told me to speak chinese 4 the rest of the dinner.     she sed she's korean, but her family lived in china b4 she came to america.   we had a good dinner, n' i was so happy to eat soondae.   afterwards we hung out @ the life plaza store.

on mon, phil n' his li'l sis vicky came to visit us from irvine.   we all ate lunch @ home.   then phil, vicky, n' i went to ontario mills; while kaela finished her paper.   it took us a while to get there cos we didn't know where we were going, but then i called kaela 4 directions.   phil needed to buy some dress shoes 4 his summer job in houston.   well, we shopped 'round; phil bought his shoes.   i had to hurry back cos to go to rolling hills 4 a bbq w/ kaela's extended family.   as u c, kaela's extended family does many things 2gether.

tues, we just woke up, got everything 2gether, n' left.   jeanna drove us to the airport n' then drove herself up to norcal.   raymond picked us up from oak.   he showed us his new apt from the outside.   it's kewl that so many of us live close 2gether now.   well, then we had the promotional ceremony n' all.   after isobune, kaela bought us aisukuriimu @ ben n' jerry's.

2day's such a bizzy day @ werk.   kaela came to visit, n' i brought her to lunch @ a thai restaurant.   she didn't have a very good lunch tho' cos the fud was a 2 spicy 4 her.   it cms that they took it as a challenge when we asked 4 spicy fud.   kaela's foot is hurt, so she tried to c a dr 2day, but no luck.   apparently there's werk to keep me bizzy late, but i gotta 'least get home in time to show my furniture to some buyers.

it's sun(day).   i've been on vacation 4 a while now, been @ the kang residence this whole time.   i eat a lot.   i don't get a whole lot of exercise, no.   'twas fun when the doggy was here... oh, did i fail to mention the doggy?   when we 1st got here, the beautiful kaela kang's parents were dogsitting a jindogei named mitsy that belong's to kaela's aunt min.   we played w/ it 4 a day, but then aunt min came to pick it up on fri nite.   'member, fri was a bizzy day.   well, last nite, sat nite, we went to garden buffet in artesia 4 kaela's grandfather's 80th b.day party.   it was a big kang family event.   we had tons of fud.   we saw lots of family pix in a powerpoint slideshow.   it's sun.   i'm still in my pajamas, n' it's 230p.   this is crazy.   kaela still has to finish her black belt paper.   i called phil this morning.

well, we're in socal, the beautiful kaela kang n' i.   we're having a relaxing, fun time.   we got here on wed nite via southwest airline airlines, from oak to ont.   raymond drove us to oak, nice guy; drove us 2 + jeanna.   thurs was a bizzy, long day.   kaela n' i went to l.a. koreatown.   we bought tons of household/kitchen things from kim's juhngi.   this fotographer took pix of us modeling some clay pots.   we left w/ tons of stuff but were unsure of what to do next.   we pulled into a korean market parking lot, just to think 'bout what to do next.   i saw a fud ct, n' we went in.   i bought us some patbingsoo n' hodoogwaja.   we decided to go to ontario mills, an outlet mall, to shop.   i finally got me some new jeans! got them from the guess store.   'member my "chuhngbaji" entry of 06 april, 2001?   we ate dinner @ panda express.   it was nice to be in an uncrowded mall.   'twas uncrowded cos 'twas a weeknite.   after eating, we watched bridget jones's diary.

2day, we bummed 'round the house 4 a long time.   later, in the late afternoon, kaela gave me the buick keys, n' i went to costco to buy some oj n' carrots to juice.   afterwards, i went to walmart n' bought a ms optical explorer mouse 4 just $20! wow, what a deal.  i hope it's not defective or nething.   i wish i had phil's irvine num w/ me.   i left it in norcal.   *sigh* well, phil; if u'r reading this, please call my cellfon!

last nite was such a lazy, stay @ home evening.   the beautiful kaela kang cooked us some fried rice.   we ate n' watched tv.   that's rather stay@home, right?   i got a call from brandie 'bout moving kaela's stuff out of the albany 'partment, then she put sally on the fon, n' sally asked 4 the white belt test papers.   i hurried over to the rsf to give them to sally.   i really wanted to werk out, either taekwondo or butt gallery, last nite; but i didn't.   u know, i really don't like staying @ home n' watching tv.   i like simpsons, yah; but a full nite of tv makes me feel so disgustingly lethargic.   i like our new apartment.   i need to do laundry, need to vacuum, need to pack.

i got my haircut @ supercuts during lunch.   it's okay.   i'll c how it looks after i gel it.   well, i'm off to socal!   i hope it'll be fun.

last nite, i took the beautiful kaela kang out 4 our 16th monthversary.   we had that chevy's celebration w/ the group on sun nite, but i still wanted to have our own li'l thing.   we've been wanting to go to thirsty bear 4 a while, but 'member? that 1tym we tried, there was a private party goin' on there.   we had such good tapas n' a li'l thirsty bear beer.   [later] kaela was so beautiful in her light blue halter top. i like!

it's been a bizzy weekend! phew! yesterday was the beautiful kaela kang n' my 16th monthversary.   what a weekend... man, k... where do i start?

fri: the demo team went to grant elementary skool to do a demo 4 master kim royce's students n' the rest of the skool; some 300 kids.   the demo went okay; un4tunately, some things didn't werk out w/o the small stage.   johnny was nice 'nuff to share some subway sandwiches w/ the rest of the team.   after the demo, i had to hurry to jeanna's graduation.   i had to drop off ppl, n' in the end i missed the actual graduation.   i got there just in time to c them turn their tassels. *sigh*   well, it was a beautiful day.   we went to dinner @ café de la paz.   afterwards, we hung out w/ kaela's family in jeanna's 'partment.

sat: raymond, roland, kaela, n' i went to the runner's expo in the bill graham civic auditorium.   it was fun, n' we got some free stuff.   afterwards, we fotographed the furniture i'm selling.   then we moved kaela's kitchen table out of the albany 'partment.   that was really funny.   we made very good use of my forester's roofrack n' my bungee cords.   then kaela's siblings n' i took her parents out to dinner @ happy family restaurant.   then i helped joon move.

sun: i was really tired from the nite 4, i guess.   i woke up late 4 the bay to breakers.   somehow, my fon didn't get a signal thruout the nite, n' i didn't get roland's voicemail 'bout meeting up @ the bart station.   kaela n' i were very late.   we barted from ashby.   we started the race, altho' the organisers were 'ready sweeping up the streets.   we were very discouraged.   when we turned onto hayes, then we saw that there were plenty of ppl who had started late.   wow, it was like running thru a parade, a very big, slow parade.   we ran, then we jogged, then we walked, then we ran, then we walked... it was stop n' go foot traffic.   it was such a goofy race!   there were so many frats/sororities just making it an alcohol parade.   they had travelling bars n' kegs.   i really liked hearing the musik along the way, it kept me motivated.   when we passed by ppl playing rave musik, it felt like taekwondo practice, n' i got myself in the right mindframe.   we saw the weather turn from sunny to foggy as we went thru golden gate park.   ah, then we go to the finish line.   we crossed the finish line 2gether, in lane 10.   the whole time, i was carrying this full 1.5 litre water bottle that some kid gave me @ the 1st water stop.   crazy!   *sigh* i was so happy to finish the run, but i was so hungry!   we got lost looking 4 footstock cos we followed ppl going back the race route.   i felt i was gonna pass out from hunger, so i ate kaela's cremesavers, those lifesavers hard candies.   finally, we got to footstock, but the rest of the group, who had done the whole race way b4 us, wanted to leave.   we didn't meet up w/ them.   the 2 of us had some very overpriced fud: crayfish etoufée, a polish sausage each, n' a chicken kebab.   then kaela bought me a bn'j phish stick aisukuriimu bar.   it was very good, altho' awful 4 my health.   it was a long busride back to the bart station.   it felt like a long bartride home cos i really needed to use the restroom but couldn't find 1.   i felt so sticky w/ dry sweat, so nasty.   we went home washed up n' rested.   then roland called us 'bout going to watch shrek.   i was 'riginally planning to take kaela out 4 our monthversary, but i figured this'd be our last chance to hang out as a good size group 4 a while cos a bunch of ppl r going to europe n' socal.   i 'ready'd missed johnny's farewell on fri nite @ jerome's.   hopefully, we can meet up w/ ppl like johnny n' jerome done in socal.   well, we went to watch shrek @ emeryville ua.   it was a pretty kewl movie; rather "irreverent," as roland put it.   afterwards, well... since raymond drove us to emeryville, i didn't want to make him drive me n' kaela all the way back to north berkeley, so we just joined them 4 dinner @ emeryville chevy's, instead of doing our monthversary thing that nite.   actually, raymond got the waitress to do the chevy's celebration thing 4 us. ha, crazy... what a different monthversary!   they put sombreros on us n' gave us coconut aisukuriimu.   what a big dinner!   when we got home, we simply passed out!

*sigh* wow, summer's under way.   i'm a li'l sore from yesterday, but it's a very healthy sore.   i feel alive!   i'm very much looking 4ward to this summer n' all its activities!   master jang called me last nite as raymond was dropping us off.   he was hoping i'd come to korea w/ the ucmap trip next month, but as time goes by it looks very unlikely.   unless, they all the sudden decide to pay my way to korea; i won't go.   i think it's more of a hankido club trip neway.   i look 4ward to cing master jang in august when he comes here on a werk visa.   when he called, i spoke english cos he spoke english, n' i figured he wanted to practice.   u know, tho'; i think in those situation, i really should just stick to speaking korean; that way we both get practice.   i think he didn't understand some of the things i sed.   u know, when i talk to kaela's mom, it cms like i speak korean, n' she usually speaks english.   i have this natural tendency that when she speaks korean, i don't respond cos i think she's talking to kaela.   neway, yah, it'll be a fun summer...

[later] i'm really looking 4ward to these 2 socal trips.   i wanna hang in socal places.   i hope we have car access; i worry cos we're flying.   i dunno how much car access we'll have.   i think i feel better 'bout life cos'f the new 'partment.   i'm very happy to be w/ kaela, living in our own place.   'course there'll always be the things i wish were better: 4 instance, i wish the economy were better, altho' it is nice to c 2day's tech stock rebound.   don'tchu miss the days when waiters in restaurants had to be nice to u cos ne young slackerlooking punk might be some sort of techie billionaire?   ha!   that, obviously, was pretty beneficial n' equalising, in a way... maybe in a bad way.

the beautiful kaela kang n' i were s'pposed to go to the rsf last nite to werk out, but we both fell asleep in the early evening.   nuts.   we woke up n' thought 'bout dinner.   we decided to make fried rice, but i needed to go to the nearby northside safeway to buy some eggs.   i ran into tiffany kim n' young there.   we're all neighbours now; we all live on northside.   safeway is so close i feel guilty 4 driving; i should walk.   kaela did most of the cooking.   it was really good fried rice.   i was able to scrape the crusty, crispy rice from the bottom of the pan.   it's sorta like nooroongji.   we had plenty of fried rice, so i brought some 4 lunch @ werk 2day, but i knew we had to eat the crusty rice right away or it wouldn't be ne good, just greasy.   i set up my audio system in the living room, played a li'l guitar, n' got kaela's 'puter up n' running.   she had a hard drive problem, of which i found the power supply cables to be the cause.

this morning, the bartel's property management maintenance guy came.   i was getting ready to go to werk n' hadn't gotten dressed yet, so i answered the door topless.   i figured it was ok, since i looked thru the peephole n' knew it was a man, not a woman.   is this ok?   or do u think that was really rude/vulgar?   i had pants on, pajama pants.   i figured it was ok cos it was a guy; however he cmed kinda uncom4table w/ it.   i went in n' put on a shirt.   i told him i was getting ready to go to werk.   he asked me to show him all the things that needed repair then sed he'd go to his jeep 4 10-15 mins n' that i should get him on my way out to werk.   i ate a bowl of honey.nut cornflakes w/ milk n' bananas as i waited 4 kaela to get ready.   then we left, n' the maintenance guy went to werk.

it feels so good to have our apartment.   i like having space.   i like being able to live our lives.   i like being able to stock the fridge w/ our fud n' our drinks.   i feel so much better.   *sigh* 'course i still gotta werk out this crap 'bout josh's not paying the full rent on the hillegass place this month.   geez, he could'a made both our lives easier; instead he's jeopardising both our credit records.   he sed he'll be gone till 15 june.   that gives me a chance to sell off my furniture.

last nite, i had a so.so taekwondo practice.   only raymond, laura, n' i showed up 4 demo practice.   we ended up spending most of our time werking w/ dr. lieu n' some coloured belts, kicking paddles.   it was ok, n' i was glad to get back to doing some sparring style stuff.   still, i felt a li'l lackluster.   it happens sometimes, as u c.   i went straight home (to the new apt, woohoo!) after werk, n' ate pasta w/ leftover sauce.   i set up my 'puter in a temporary location.   i gotta get some fon cable extenders, so i can move the 'puter into a better place n' still have dialup access.   i posted some more on bronx's junkyard forums.   it's more intersting now that kaela joined.   now it's laura, jerome, roland, joon, the beautiful kaela kang, me, n' some other cal taekwondo person; i'm not sure who he is.   sometimes i like writing there, sometimes i like writing here.   i worry tho'... how come so many of the on.line journals i used to read rn't 'round nemore?   'member, joon used to have a journal; jerome used to have a journal.   i'm glad kaela's sister jeanna sometimes updates her journal.   i think online journals r good.   i guess yesterday's entry, "man in the mirror" was a li'l more on the preachy side, but sometimes i want to express an opinion instead of just rattling off what i did the nite b4.   speaking of "preachy," what ever happened to ziggy?   (simpsons)

my cowerker wei sed that mallard duck males lose their colour after having ducklings.   yah, i saw evidence of that 2day; i saw a mallard pair, n' the male had more of a black head, not so green.   wow.   so does that mean that after u have kids, u don't take care of ur looks nemore?   hrm... weird, huh?   [slightly later] oh yah, i changed my g.book 'gain.

[later] ugh, what a long day.   i werked quite a bit.   i went to lunch @ pancho's tacqueria on geary w/ 2 chemists.   i had to drive thru lots'a traffic on the way back to corte madera.   *sigh* neway, josh e.mailed me saying he won't pay the other 0.5 of this month's rent cos it's not legal to use deposit $$$ as rent.   wtf, typical josh!   did i ever say it was a formal agreement w/ reddy realty?!   i also only stayed in the 'partment 4 0.5 a month.   he could've 'least paid off the rent n' then kept the $79 he'd still owe me. what a serious @$$hole.   this really annoys me.   what did i expect?! typical josh!

well, i sed i changed my g.book, but i didn't do it right.   i'm starting to really dislike htmlgear.   kaela signed it, but well... sorry, it was the same ol' g.book.   now i changed it; so u can sign the new g.book.

it's way 2 cloudy n' cold 4 may.   last week was so nice; now it's getting cold.   i hope it'll be a warm summer.   i don't want a cold summer.   it's a bizzy, bizzy week, as i sed.   i was so exhausted last nite.   after i left werk, i hurried to the old 'partment to clean up some.   i threw out more trash.   i picked up a few fud items i had 4gotten.   i guess i still could bring the dishrack over.   i dunno when josh'll get back from europe.   man, i can't believe he didn't pay the full rent.   what's he thinking?!   it's not fun to be in these kinds of situations.   if disagreements didn't exist, that'd be great.   *sigh*   neway well, i cleaned up a bit, then hurried to pick up the beautiful kaela kang up from werk.   i was in a hurry cos i sed we'd have taekwondo demo team practice @ 800p.   i hurried home to get our stuff.   in the end, ppl thought it was @ 830p neway.   master yoon called me on my cell to tell me he couldn't make it.   i stressed 4 nuthin'.   i was a li'l frustrated that so many ppl missed practice, but i was really glad to werk w/ the ppl who did show up.   afterwards, kaela n' i did some grocery shopping @ the northside safeway.   i was really cold n' tired.   we cooked some pasta w/ portobello shrooms.   we tried to sort things out in the new 'partment, clean up.   it's looking better, but there's still some werk to do.   we have no furniture.   there's lotsa stuff i wanna send back down to san josé. man, when'll i ever get a chance to go to san jo 'gain?!

i've been having lots of stomach aches lately.   i guess it's cos we've been eating so late.   what do u think when u c urself in the mirror.   we have a bigger mirror in our new bathroom.   i c myself more often now.   since the mirror is wide, i can c myself when i sit on the toilet.   since i've been having stomach aches, i'm there more often than usual.   what do u think when u c ur reflection?   "damn, i'm beautiful," "damn, i'm handsome," "jean claude van damme, i'm fine," "i need a haircut," "i'm 2 fat," "i wish i were a li'l bit taller," "i hate zits," "my teeth r crooked," "i'm so wimpy," "i should have blue eyes," "i wish my [this or thats] were bigger," "hey, that animal looks like me, i wonder if it's of the opposite sex; i think it is.   let me do my mating dance now."   if u had all the time n' $$$ in the world, wouldju be a better looking person?   u'd have more time to do ur hair, do ur makeup, pump up n' get buff, wiggle ur butt on the stairmaster n' get leaner, find clothes that accentuate ur body n' features, get beauty sleep.   u'd have more $$$ to buy nice clothes, get a nice hairdo, get plastic surgery, buy a pass to 24 hour fitness, hire a personal trainer, eat healthy fud.   if u lift weights to get buff, u need to sleep to give ur body time to build up.   s'pposedly research proves that ppl w/ more $$$ r less obese.

when u look in the mirror, do u c things u want to change?   well, does this sound really superficial to u?   ok, then look deeper into the mirror; put on ur x.ray goggles.   what do u c?   r there things u want to change 'bout ur personality?   do u want to be a more compassionate person? a more sensitive person? a more confident person? more agressive, humbler, friendlier, more social, more focused, more motivated, more righteous, more spiritual, smarter, better w/ ppl, more organised, less selfish?   do u want to be a better athlete, cook, shopper, student, musician, employee, parent, servant of god, artist, child, friend, businessperson, leader, writer, housekeeper, fotographer, public speaker?   or maybe u want to be a less introspective person, some who tries less to change him or herself.   i think it's good to think hard 'boutchurself, not to assume all u'r doing is right, but to be open.minded to a change of mind.   i think it's good to be able to admit u've done or thought wrong in the past, not always, but sometimes.   stubborness, i don't like stubborness.   wishywashiness, oh, that's really bad.   have a backbone, but stretch to maintain ur flexibility.   so i think it's good to think 'bout urself n' the choices u make in life.   then gain, ppl'll call u egocentric cos u spend so much of ur time thinking 'boutchurself.   ain't that just the way that life goes?

mirror: 1 day @ werk, we had some pizza party or something.   some1 prob'ly sed he/she doesn't eat pork.   then 1 guy started talking 'bout not eating animals that r self aware, n' that the test 4 self awareness is to put a mirror in front of the animal.   if the animal realises that the reflection is not another animal but itself, then the animal is self aware.

well, i typed all this on my lunch break, while eating a ham sandwich.   time to get back to werk.

well, this was a big weekend cos we actually moved finally.   phew! can u believe that?   many, many, many thanks to roland, raymond, johnny, n' toby!   [later] man, this week's gonna be really bizzy.   2day's been so bizzy, n' it won't quit.   i've got lots to do @ werk.   i've got the richmond grant elementary skool demo to do 4 master royce.   the beautiful kaela kang's parents r coming into town 4 jeanna's graduation.   we're running/walking the bay to breakers on sun.

fri nite, we watch the mummy returns.   'twas a big group.   afterwards, we went to eat @ ihop.   i ate a lot.   i had their herb roasted chicken.   it was pretty good n' pretty big, like our group.   who went to watch the movie? brandie, bruce, jerome, laura, jeff, jocelyn, andy, roland, raymond, johnny, kaela, n' me.   bruce n' brandie went home after the movie.   oh, funny thing: when i walked into the dark movie theatre, i saw 2 seats saved 4 us next to raymond n' roland.   i scooted in 2wards the center, taking the more center seat, cos i thought the ppl on that side of the 2 seats were strangers, so i figured i'd let kaela sit closer to our friends.   ha, when the movie was over, n' not till then, i realised it was jeff, jocelyn, n' andy! *sigh* funny.   i sorta thought i saw jeff look over @ me as i sat down, but i figured it was just some asian guy who thought maybe he knew me just cos i was asian, u know?   that kinda stuff happens all the time in the bay area.

ah, sat, we went to chals's fun housewarming party.   we picked up roland on the way n' went to solano safeway, where we ran into sam, sumati, n' darlene, as well as tiffany n' young.   funny! every1 was buying their stuff to bring to the semi.potluck all @ the last min!   funny.   we had plenty of kalbi n' dwaeji gui, so much meat! oh, we also had hot dogs.   we watched movie on his dvd player.   it was a weird party cos it started in the afternoon n' went till the early evening.   afterwards, we still had most the nite left.   we knew some ppl were going clubbing @ s.factory, but we opted out.   we were tired n' had to pack.   after watching snl, i took a bunch of stuff to the salvation army n' other stuff to drop off @ the new place.   then i came home, slept 4 a bit.   i woke up early in the morn n' resumed moving.

'round noon, johny n' roland called.   i took them out to lunch @ yangtze river n' we moved stuff the whole afternoon.   then raymond joined us.   i bought some frozen pizza, fruit, n' stuff from safeway, n' we had dinner in the new place.   later, after x.files toby got back from sactown, n' he helped us move my bed.   ah, it feels so good to be out of that ol' dump!   1 prob, tho': this morn, reddy realty called me saying that josh only paid 0.5 the rent 4 this month.   frick! geez, i told josh, he has to pay the whole rent this month, n' i'll let him deduct it from my share of the deposit, which he owes me! frick.   n' now he's vacationing in europe.   i don't care if he gets himself evicted, but i care 'bout my credit.

i didn't move nething (from 'partment to 'partment) last nite.   i went to taekwondo demo team practice.   it was a good werkout after so much lazy relaxation.   master yoon was very supportive n' helped me get thing organised.   we had a pretty good practice.   afterwards, raymond n' i went to eat @ mandarin house in the durant fud ghetto.   i thought it was just us 2, that every1 else had gone home, but laura n' erin ran into us there.   i didn't mean to ditch them; i just thought they had already left.   the fud ct was very crowded w/ students procrastinating from studying.   after eating, i ordered the beautiful kaela kang chicken fried rice to go.   it took a long time to come out cos the restaurant was so bizzy w/ so many procrastinating students.   then raymond n' i went to sweetheart.   i bought kaela a mocha freeze pearl drink to go.   ah, what a nite.   i felt so much more energised cos i practiced.   my left knee is sore now cos of all the jumping, but that's ok.   i gotta get back into shape.

i can't believe it's fri 'gain already.   wow.   i feel good.   i'm a li'l tired from staying up a li'l late last nite.   it wasn't 2 bad.   i want to move more stuff asap.   this is the big moving weekend.   *sigh* kaela n' i r thinking of buying a new, bigger bed.   yah, we should, i guess.   i dunno from where we'll get it, tho'.   last time, i bought my bed from some mattress outlet in san leandro.   i think it was a very good deal; only, it was a floor model.   i hope i can find 'nother good deal.   *sigh* if we have extra time after moving this weekend, then i guess we can go bed shopping.   i dunno what to do; we might hafta move my old bed to the new place, just to have a place to sleep.   i dunno; really dunno.

kaela has a final 2day.   after dropping her off @ yali's café, i drove off to werk.   i was hungry, tho'.   i stopped by the mcyukyuk's on san pablo.   i got a greasy sausage mcbiscuit meal w/ oj, not coffee.   greasy, greasy, greasy!   oh well, i didn't want to starve, n' i haven't had much fud in the office lately.   i need to get more fud in my office to snack on.

the economy does sorta depress me.   i try not to think 'bout it.   i try not to think 'bout the $$$ i don't have.   instead i try to think 'bout the simple pleasures i can have in life.   of course, i've lived way 2 lavishly in the past yrs.   yah, 'course i know that; but i can live w/o those things.   i just hafta sorta get used to it.   i was telling raymond 'bout it last nite while @ sweetheart, how i used to take kaela out to dinner @ nice places like 2ice a week sometimes.   no, we shouldn't do that so much nemore.   i mean, sometimes we don't have time to cook, so we can go out, but i gotta keep stuff w/in budget.   i dunno; i've just wanted to treat her well n' stuff, u know?   @ the same time, there's a time 4 those things, n' there's a time to... well, get by, u know?   my credit card bill's a li'l lower this month; phew!   yah, i gotta keep it down.   i won't be driving as much in the next few months, so i hope my car care bills'll be lower.   i'm not driving so much cos we're not going snowboarding.   we're going to socal 2ice, but both times we're flying.   that's better 4 my car.   i won't go clothes shopping, ' stuff like that, as much these days.   yah, this morning, i changed my fon service! i called pacbell n' told them to shut off my old fon service n' start my new fon service on mon.   i'm gonna have a new num!   crazy... 1st time in 7 yrs, u know?   i was disappointed they didn't give me a choice of num.   i don't care 2 much tho' cos i don't like getting incoming calls on my home fon; i prefer my cell fon by far.   i expect only telemarketers to call my home fon.   the customer service guy kept offering me all these deals, but i told him dsl's not in my budget.   i'm getting used to saying that; stuff's not in my budget.   whatever.   like in the shameless, roaring late 90s / turn of the century, ppl acted like it was shameful to say that!   if u didn't have $$$, u must be some lazy bum cos ne1 can make $$$ (n' get rich) of some lame .com bizness, u know?   *sigh* well, now u know, u know?   i'd rather have a lower paying job doing hard stuff than not have a job @ all.   we're in the great depression after the roaring 90s.   i think 'bout bagger vance, how some guy was praising the kid's dad 4 taking a job as a janitor instead of declaring bankruptcy like all the other dads in the city.   uh, yah... why do i think 'bout that?   do i werk as a janitor?!   uh, no... but seriously, there is a reason i think 'bout that: @ 1st i was sorta hesitant to make the dept move @ my werk from "engineering" to "operations."   "engineering" just sounded more, i dunno... like prestigious, u know?   well, shoot... if i had stuck in that dept, i would've been laid off fast.   there's just no $$$ 4 new projects these days; instead ppl need ppl to keep already started projects running.   do u guys even know what i do @ werk?!   well, 1 job i gotta do is maintaining the microscope machines, so that's like maintenance, in a way.   however i spend more time doing "r&d" stuff.   now there's an outdated, roaring 90s catch phrase 4 u, right?   it was so kewl to say u did r&d 4 a startup, right?   neway, the research i do pertains mostly to image quality, so i werk w/ lots'a optics stuff now.   so i'm sorta optoelectromechanical now.   i run tests.   i write matlab programs.   i look @ n' analyse images.   then i go to mtgs now n' then.   i dunno; i'm fine w/ my job.   it's sometimes stressful, 'course.   i wish i were paid more, 'course, but frick! who's to complain these days?!

so... what am i gonna do w/ every fri off? heh... *sigh* well, just think 1st of the short socal vacations we have planned.   then, after that... *sigh* i dunno... i'll c.   imagine if i took a part time job @ banana republic, like cal did when he was in between jobs.   c, i don't think i'm fashionable 'nuff 4 that kind of job; 'least it would make me nervous.   plus, isn't that more of a job 4 a guy who's scoping out chicks? heh, not to say nething 'bout cal...   let's say i had to werk in the service / customer sales industry, what would i want to sell?   fud? clothes? 'puters? electronics?   yah, good question.   i s'ppose i'd think 'bout fringe benefits, what store do i wanna get free stuff from?   well, shoot... howzabout a snowboarding store?   yah, snowboarding or music electronics or 'puters, right? i can deal w/ these semi.technical fun things.   how 'bout serving smoothies? i like smoothies.   ha, no... i think my youthful days of qualifying 4 werk in those kinds of places r over, n' i missed my chance.   heh. in ne case, most likely i won't take a 2nd job to fill my fris; that's my current thinking.   however, that could change.   i think i'll just werk on my personal "projects" during that time instead.

so how'll the 90s be characteristised n' 'membered?   like, what fashion things r definitively 90s?   think 'bout that, n' get back to me, please.   thanks.

[later] (sometimes i don't say "i'll write more later," but i do.)   i walked to the outdoor mall n' ate lunch @ fresh choice by myself.   while walking there, i talked on my cellfon to toby.   brandie asked ppl to go clubbing 2nite, movie n' clubbing.   c, i'm usually totally up 4 clubbing, but i've got moving on my mind.   moving n' saving $$$.   if i go clubbing, i'd prefer to go to avaron cos it's just been 2 long since i went to a korean club.   in fact, i'm really up 4 the idea of going to ne korean club or bar/hof sometime.   @ the same time, avaron's costs more.   it's not like "normal" clubbing is really expensive.   only korean clubbing is really expensive.

[later] my dept had a mtg w/ my boss.   apparently, i'm not gonna be losing as much income as i originally expected.   'course i'm not gonna be taking as many days off as i originally expected.   still, hard werk, hard werk, hard werk... there'll be plenty of hard werk.   that's what it takes.   can u believe it's fri?   wow, c... when u werk hard all week, the week flies by, huh? wow.   i'm glad i'm not teaching this summer.   after werking out last nite, i realise: how much i can benefit from werking out on my own stuff n' how much i need to werk out on my own stuff n' demo team stuff.   still, i had great students this past semester.   i'm really glad i did teach this semester.   i hope to be able to help them later, even if i'm not their instructor.   i wanna c them get their black belts.   i want to practice more.   i'd like to werk some more on sparring stuff now n' then.   i want to learn all the palgwae poomsae this summer.   heh, i'm so ambitious, huh?   well, u know... w/ the 2 required days off i'm taking each month, maybe i'll go in n' train more during that time.   yah, i don't know yet whether they'll be fris or mons or 1 of each.

last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i moved lots of stuff into the new 'partment.   johnny helped us.   we did 3 full carloads.   1st, after werk, i picked kaela up from south hall, where she was waiting 4 me after studying in the library.   she snagged some fud from the commencement reception.   we packed up stuff in my car n' drove to our new place.   we stopped @ barney's burger on cedar to eat b4 unloading.   we had a vegetarian dinner: kaela had the portabello burger thingy, n' i had a popeye tofu burger (spinach n' feta).   we also shared a basket of greasily fried mushrooms.   we unloaded stuff, then i went back to the old 'partment to load up a 2nd carload.   then i picked up johnny from jerome's.   we moved that carload n' went back 4 a 3rd.   i gave johnny some of ken's old sparring equipment.   ken gave it to me n' asked me to give it 'way to ppl.   phew! so much moving! lemme tell u: it really is easier to move stuff into the new 'partment than out of the old 'partment!   *sigh* there's also stuff i wanna send down to san jo; stuff like winter clothes, old clothes, etc.   i dunno.

2day, 4 lunch i ate a small #24 turkey n' 'cado sandwich from togo's.   it was pretty good.   i went to the post office to buy some stamps n' send a get well card to my grandpa.   2nite, i gotta go to taekwondo demo team practice.   i hope that goes well.   we gotta keep moving stuff.

last nite, i was so exhausted!   i met the beautiful kaela kang @ our new place.   i didn't move nething, altho' i really wanted to; 2 tired!   kaela took me to dinner @ the pho place in 99 ranch.   roland n' laura called us 'bout having dinner @ brandie's, but we were already eating.   it was a good dinner.   then we went home, n', altho' i didn't want to, i pretty much passed out.   it was awful!   i really wanted to stay active, 'least awake.   i really wanted to move stuff.   however, i just passed out n' was lazy.   we watched simpsons.

this morning on my way to werk, i saw an incident @ the san rafael/richmond bridge toll plaza.   this mourning dove couple was flying in the traffic.   1 got hit!   i saw feathers flying all over the place.   then i spotted the downed burdy.   it was still alive, flapping on the ground.   i hope it survived, but i dunno...   it was 2 sad.   a li'l after i got to werk, i found out a chemist had gotten laid off.   i was just thinking how no1 who has werked here as long as me has been laid off.   this guy started werking 4 the company right b4 me. *sigh* it was sad.   every1 who gets laid off, they come to say goodbye.   they look like they're trying to be strong, but i can c tears welling up in their eyes.   it's like being in a war; u don't know who's gonna get taken 'way next.   it's awful.

[later] i wanted to go to the post office n' get fud during my "lunch break."   i didn't really have a lunch break cos i just werked thru my "lunch hr."   i gotta werk hard, right?   we had a mtg @ 100p, so i couldn't do much 'bout lunch.   later, after the mtg, i went to the roach coach n' bought 2 chicken tacos.   i brought my styrofoam tray of tacos out to the creek, stood there, n' ate my tacos.   i watched a mutha mallard duck swim w/ 4 ducklings.   then ducklings kept running up onto the creek's shore then jumping back into the water.   some ppl say the roach coach is unsanitary.   i don't care.   it's cheap.   i don't wanna spend 2 much $$$ on fud, right?   the tacos were good 'nuff 4 me.   they were made w/ corn tortillas, not fried, just plain.   i think that's more authentic.

2day, the company started laying off ppl.   it was very morose.   i still have a job but definitely worry quite a bit.   maybe i'll be making more changes to my life besides this move from apartment to apartment. [later] it's been quite a nervous day @ werk cos of the layoffs.   can u believe so many young ppl recently graduated n' just got started in the werking world n' r already facing layoffs?   i mean, i realise it's part of life, a reality, but isn't it crazy that so many young ppl r experiencing it 1st hand, so soon out of college?   i read some _doonesberry_ comic that was lying 'round the martial arts room 1 day.   there were 2 guys sitting on a couch, playing video games.   1 was a college student, the other was a college alumnus slacker.   the college kid sed he couldn't wait to get out of college, so he didn't have to worry 'bout skool n' he'd have $$$.   the alumnus slacker disagreed n' sed college life is as good as it gets cos u can sit 'round n' play video games all day n' nite w/o consequences.   then the college guy sorta silently agreed or something.   i know so many students'd jump on me if i supported that view.   they'd say, "college is so stressful, " "what r u talking 'bout?", etc.   but then there'r laid off yuppies that wish they could have the carefree days of college.   do u think werk is a supportive environment?   do u think skool is a supportive environment?

k, i'll tell u a li'l 'bout my thoughts.   'least in my days, the uc berkeley college of engeineering was the 'least supportive environment that ever existed or ever will exist.   picture a college whose main goal from the day they accept u is to kick u out.   the co.op internship environment @ ebmud was very supportive.   like, if i did ne werk, i was applauded as a genius or something... well, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but it cmed like ppl expressed gratitude 4 my effort n' made me feel smart.   my werk environment now, it's somewhere in between.   was college stressful 4 me?   hrm... yah, of course it was... hrm... there r a couple of truths:

1. werk never asked me to do an all niter.   in college, i had to stay in etcheverry hall 4 some 30 hrs straight to do a lab project.

2. college doesn't threaten to lay u off; they can kick u out, but they won't take away ur means of paying rent 4 the apartment u signed a lease 4, expecting to earn so much $$$.

layoffs remind me of chicken run; u'r just chickens gone to slaughter.   @ lunch, i went to drop off our inventory checklist n' maintenance requests w/ the realtor.   i didn't eat lunch cos i worried 'bout getting back to werk from richmond on time.   when i got back, i ate a taro bun n' a quaker chewy granola bar.   last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i moved stuff to our new 'partment.   jerome helped us.   afterwars, i took kaela to dinner @ 168.   it was a very warm nite.   i changed into a tanktop while packing stuff up.   'twas much easier to move stuff into the new place than out of the old place.

i had a very happy weekend.   i know i talked 'bout lots'a depressing things on fri 'bout economics @ my werk, n' things like that.   on fri evening, my manager assured me he thinks they wouldn't be able to lay me off if it came to lay offs.   i hope not.   in ne case, it made me feel better that he sed that.   well, fri nite... the nite b4 the taekwondo promotional exams, i took the beautiful kaela kang to dinner @ filippo's on solano.   i figured pasta is a good meal on a nite b4 a taekwondo exam cos it's got carbo.   it was a very good dinner.   we went to safeway afterwards to buy some things n' ran into toby n' betty.   we couldn't go to toby's "sneak the greek" secret uc men's octet concert @ uc berkeley's greek theatre cos we wanted to sleep early 4 the test.   we thought we'd do more werk on the banquet video, but it got so late.

well, the big day arrived.   i got the #1 parking spot 4 the whole day, the spot right 'cross from the entrance to the rsf.   i administered the white belt tests.   i felt my students did very, very well.   i gave them much harder tests as mock tests in the previous weeks, but i toned it down a li'l cos the p.e. students don't have as much time to learn all the things that the club classes get to learn.   the 5 1st dan candidates (kaela, clarence, erin, laura, n' micah) took their test w/ brandie right next to them testing 4 her 2nd dan.   they all did very well.   it wasn't a killer endurance test, but it was a very fair n' well.rounded test w/ master yoon, sally, perry, dave commins, n' dr. lieu giving them commands.   dr. min asked them a couple of standard test questions like "do u think u passed?" @ the end of the test.   he sed he thought they all did pretty well, so that's a good thing.   master yoon still wants to make them do their 10 board breaks.   well, after the test n' grading, we all went to mel's diner on shattuck.   we had a big group!   afterwards, we were s'pposed to party in a borrowed room @ the seminary 'cross the street from my current 'partment on hillegass.   kaela n' i were 2 worn out n' both had stomach aches, so we didn't go.   jerome n' laura came to visit us.   later on, after jerome n' laura left to koko house w/ every1 else, kaela n' i decided to go to blockbuster to rent a movie.   we rented the legend of bagger vance, the golf n' zen movie w/ matt damon, will smith, n' charlize theron.   i liked the 1930s setting.   i don't play golf, so i couldn't enjoy or relate to the golf.   i thought 'bout applying those philosophies to taekwondo... i should just close my eyes n' visualise my instep hitting my opponent's chest protector.

on sun, i took kaela to dimsum @ that dimsum place in the richmond 99 ranch.   i wanted to celebrate her finishing the black belt exam.   we had a good 'mount of fud.   i bought us some buns from shengkee bakery.   then we moved stuff to the new 'partment.   we went back home packed more stuff.   johnny helped me move that stuff in; then we went home n' changed.   jerome called me w/ some news that the video was done but didn't use a whole bunch of the footage we took.   oh well, i thought it'd still be good.   then as kaela n' i picked up johnny, roland called to relay more news from jerome that his 'puter crashed, n' we had no movie to show.   shoot!   i started getting a li'l nervous.   when we got to the venue, i thought, "hey, didn't this v.i.p. palace place used to be geoffrey's inner circle? the soul fud restaurant where we had the 30th anniversary of ucmap luncheon?"   i think so.   i had such a good time @ the banquet.   kaela looked great.   we got to sit w/ roland, johnny, jerome, laura, raymond, jocelyn, n' karen, @ the table right next to my white belt students.   we were also next to most of the competition team members like jason, linda, joon, n' garth.   most of the taekwondo club got to sit 2gether.   it was really fun.   we had decent korean buffet fud, standard stuff: bulgogi, plenty of banchan, kkangpoonggi, gajami gui, etc.   well, our table quickly thought up a skit to replace our video.   we went up n' did our thing: we had an act, "the stanfurd taekwondo demo team."   we went up there n' did a bunch of stoopid things.   it turned out pretty well. i'm so proud of these actors 4 putting on a good show w/o much planning: jerome, johnny, kaela, laura, mike shea, n' raymond.   in the end, tho', wushu won the contest 4 best skit.   it's usually a close competition btwn wushu n' taekwondo, n' maybe hankido.   i'm still proud that we came in 2nd even tho' we went w/ a totally "plan b" approach.

my white belt students bought me a jvc kaboom boombox!   i can't believe these guys.   it's the exact model i was contemplating buying right b4 i started teaching.   i kept look @ e.bay 4 1, but i knew it was out of my budget.   crazy!   these ppl r 2 kewl.   i think this was the best ucmap banquet i've ever been to.

c, this was a very positive weekend.   i had lots of good times.   i feel good.   last nite, i wrote card 4 my grandma n' grandpa.   i gotta send them out.

so what i never got to talk 'bout thoroughly yesterday is what my boss told us @ our mtg yesterday.   he sed most ppl in the company should try to werk 1-2 less days a week till the end of the yr.   then next yr, we'll get paid 4 those days off.   it's a gamble, but if we don't want it, then there'll hafta be layoffs.   'course this concerns me.   after that, i felt like going 4 a drive, so i went to target in novato to get that contact paper n' eat a bk broiler meal @ burger king, like i sed yesterday in "economic depression."   i listened to my copy of jerome's fin.k.l. history.   these remixes remind me of old erasure.   as far as english dance musik, i think i wanna get the sarina paris album when it comes out.   i've been hearing more of this freestylish dance musik on z95.7.   i do hope to make benomix4 in our new apt soon.   well, if i'm forced to werk 1 less day a week, maybe i can do deejay stuff on that extra day.   heh... *sigh* we'll c.

last nite, after i taught my last white belt class of the semester, i went to dinner @ koryo sootbool w/ master yoon, jason han, linda buell, n' efren carrillo.   i got there 1st n' got a table 4 us.   then linda joined me.   jason called from master yoon's car n' told me to order 5 kalbi.   i thought that was a lot n' w/o much variety.   i got them to change their minds, n' we had a good dinner.   we talked 'bout lots of taekwondo club/team biz.   then i went back to the rsf to pick up the beautiful kaela kang.   i ended up going to thai noodle 4 the 3rd time this week; erin, johnny, micah, sally ho, kaela, n' me.   i just ordered a dessert: sweet sticky rice w/ mango.   it was really good.

so economics... *sigh* higher rent, lower pay. lemme tell u; i'm thinking, "if i can't be rich, i should 'least be happy."   right?   [later] i got my hair cut @ supercuts near my office.   i actually liked my haircut this time.   the barber/stylist/cutter did a pretty good job.   it was quite a wait tho'.   while waiting i walked over to world wrapps to buy a smoothie.   i looked @ the sunglass galleria n' saw a superkewl pair of maui jim titanium sport sunglasses.   they look so kewl!   'course they're really expensive tho'.   let's not think 'bout spending $$$ so recklessly, u know?   i think i'll try not to buy clothes or nething 4 a while, u know?   u know, i'd never want to go into technical sales or sales engineering.   i always thought i'd hate that kind of job n' still think so.   i don't wanna go travelling 'round selling motors or motion control boards or gears or sensors or cables or pumps or valves or nething!   i don't like dealing w/ most travelling technical products salesmen.   most i meet come off as sleazy n' insincere. *sigh* i don't wanna drive 'round the area or fly 'round the country or world, eating on expense acct, getting fat, n' making lame small talk n' lousy jokes.   neway, i dunno why this topic came up.   what if the economy gets so bad in this country that we start fleeing the country, emigrating to other countries.   imagine if we hafta immigrate to asia just 4 better economic opportunities.

ken just called me to ask 'bout a question on his mcyukyuk's "who wants to be a millionaire?" sweepstakes card.   he asked me who linus n' lucy's li'l bro was.   'course! rerun!   i dunno what he won cos he didn't scratch of a prize.   i guess he's saving it 4 later, or maybe he'll ask grace to pick a prize; i asked kaela to pick my prize.   poverty breeds obesity, right?   if i have no $$$, i'll eat @ mcyukyuk's n' burger king everyday n' get fat.   what else can i do?   i need to win $1,000,000 from the mcyukyuk's sweepstakes.   crazy, huh?   as i strolled 'round the outdoor mall, waiting 4 my haircut; i wondered how it'd be like to live in the 70s.   well, i did live in the 70s, but i was such a li'l kid.   'course i do 'member some tho'.   'member? my earliest memories go back to when i was 2 yrs old.   i 'member stuff.   but i imagined cing 70s fashion in real life.   sure u can c pics; but it's not the same.   also u can find old vintage 70s fashion in used clothes stores; but it's not the same!   i wanna c the original, unfaded clothing, n' i want to c it all 'round me.   well, it's not that i love 70s fashion, but 'member what i sed yesterday 'bout the 70s n' the energy crisis, this n' that...   how were the 70s economicswise?   i'm not a smart historian, n' i was bad @ economics in hs.   i know the 80s had a boom n' stuff, so was the economy pretty bad in the 70s?   hrm... women wore long skirts in the 70s, right?   hrm... i looked @ super70s.com, where the 1970s never ended.   there's also awesome80s.com, where the 1980s never ended.   i like to imagine going back in time, living in a diff time.   however, in a way i wouldn't want to be an asian in america in past decades.   i think it's "easier" now to be an asian in america than it was in the past.   'course early asian.americans had more hardships, i believe, n' thus were brave, n' we should respect them.

[later] u guys do realise that 2morrow is kaela's black belt test, right?   it's a big day.   i'm looking 4ward to it.   it'll be different cing her wear black. *smile* wow, huh?   neway, i want her to do well 2morrow.   i'll administer the white belt tests; maybe aviva'll do some 2.   i have no clue what's gonna happen 2morrow nite.   i hope we do something fun.   this evening/afternoon, i talked w/ my manager 'bout that payroll situation... *sigh* stuff to think 'bout.   'least he sounds confident that they won't lay me off.   what's more of a question is when r we gonna get more funding?!   we're werking so hard here on the engineering/operations side, but we just need our customer base to realise how much we can help them.   sometimes i wonder if our salesppl r doing what they're s'pposed to be doing... i guess that's how i got on that "technical sales" topic earlier... but u know, i mean... they're all smart ppl, all like ph.ds etc... but *sigh* what is it?   i heard my website refers the most ppl to our company site.   why don'tchu ppl buy some images from my company?!?!   don'tchu got some microscopic thingamajig u want to image?!   not only imaged, but in 3d!   c'mon!   heh heh... c? i can be a sales person! ha ha.   *sigh* boy, oh boy... i got werk to do 2nite 4 the test 2morrow: i gotta plan out the test! crazy, huh?   i guess some taekwondo ppl who haven't taught'd think it's funny to have it from the other side, huh?

my hs history class, i think, taught me that when the economy is good, women's hemlines r high.   when its bad, hemlines r low.   these days, i think women r wearing long skirts.   we had a company mtg this morning 'bout finances.   now i'm concerned.   the crappy economy is really affecting me.   now'd be a good time to be unemployed.   it'd be better to be in grad skool than the industry @ the moment.   if there were ever a time to be unemployed it'd be now, right?   *sigh* why take a few months off to travel the world in the middle of an economic peak, when u'd be paid well to werk?   instead, u should take a few months off to travel when the economy sucks, when they won't pay u well, right?   whatchu think?

[later] so i'm pondering my near future.   skrew thinkin' 'bout big, longterm plans, huh?   like, what should i do in the next yr or so?   i know i need to get my résumé all updated etc.   this is really economic bad times, i say.   in bad economic times, ppl always want to find a scapegoat.   those ppl who try to find scapegoats r to blame 4 this crappy economy!   maybe the fashion world caused this economic slump: maybe designers decided to promote long skirts, n' the economy decided to stick to the idea that it has to be bad when skirts r long.   maybe the comeback of 70s fashion caused the energy crisis in cali4nia: there was an energy crisis in the 70s; maybe we're wearing clothes similar to those ppl wore during that energy crisis.   *sigh* i had burger king (i had green ketchup!) 4 lunch cos i drove all the way out to novato from my office to go buy contact paper from target.   last nite i bought more contact paper from the el cerrito target on my way home.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i skipped practice last nite cos she had an awful stomach ache. [later] we rested.   then we had to go to the rsf so kaela could empty her day locker.   we did that on the way to move stuff to our new place.   we stopped by ben & jerry's 4 free cone day.   it was late, but they kept serving free cones 3 hrs past their skeduled end time.   i feel yucky 2day; i have a stomach ache.   i think this is what i'd call a stomach flu, right? i'm not sure.   i'll go teach the white belt class 1 more time.   i'll end class earlier 2nite cos i'm going to a dinner mtg @ koryo sootbool w/ master yoon.

so what would i do w/ 1 day off each week?   what would i do if i were laid off?   what do i want to do?   rent is more expensive now; gotta pay the bills.   i'm sure glad i don't owe mortgage!   i'm definitely a bit sick right now.   i exhausted myself this week werking on the banquet video... well, it's not that much werk; but it's more werk than some ppl cm to realise it is.   i dunno why i'm sick.   2day was a crazy day: 1st we had the somber mtg 'bout finances; then i spent the afternoon werking w/ some clients.   i don't werk w/ outsiders much, but 2day i did.   it was exciting, but we did so much, so it was tiring.   what a day!   *sigh* i need rest.

this morn i missed a mtg @ werk cos i thought the mtg was 2morrow.   dang!   my manager told me it was a short mtg neway.   'course it would've been better if i had 'membered to go... i mean, it'd have been better 4 me.   i'm sleepy but happy.   in a way, life is similar to when i was on the cal taekwondo competition team but better cos the beautiful kaela kang's w/ me.   we practice every nite n' eat after practice w/ friends.   it'll only last 1 week, the rest of this week.   then it'll be the promotional test this sat.   i gotta say: i think the black belt candidates r werking damn hard.   that's good.   it's not w/o results.   i mean, b4 i got my black belt... n' even 4 a good 2 yrs after that, i never knew what it was like to werk out every single nite of a week, u know?   it wasn't until i was getting ready to test 4 my 2nd dan that i did that.   then i did it 4 the competition team.   they're doing it now, n' that shows the kind of dedication n' spirit that black belts should have.   i'm very impressed w/ watching them practice this week.

i'm trying to move more junk over to the new place every evening.   ooh boy, li'l by li'l.   i've been listening to my ol' benomix2 cd in my car recently.   in a way, that cd was a much more refined product than benomix3 cos i did so many "takes."   i recorded, didn't like it, recorded it again.   w/ benomix3, i only had 2 takes n' kept the 2nd take.   'course there was so much more prerecording prep 4 benomix3.   i dunno... all i know is i wanna werk on benomix4, n' i think the new apt'll be the place...   i like it.   'course my bizzier taekwondo skedule these days keeps me from crankin' out mix cds, right?   heh... it's not like i can quit my day job n' werk on mixes during the day!   it's ok, i'll find time.   i can't snowboard in the summer, u know.

'member how it was 2 yrs 'go?   ppl really believed u didn't need to have a "real" job.   let's say u liked musik; ppl'd say why r u werking as nething other than a guy who sells musik stuff on the web?   ha!   it's like ppl thought it was ok to have a bunch of useless salesmen 'round just cos instead of being "travelling salesmen," they were on.line salesmen.   tsss... what were we thinking?   neway, what's all this talk 'bout a "real" job.   lemme tell u what a "real" job is: it's living on an orchard, pickin' apples!   now that's a real job! *sigh* the simple life, right?

last nite, master yoon talked to me 'bout instructing in the summer.   i told him that i can't get to the rsf ne earlier than 730p, which is realistic.   if i weren't realistic, i'd say i could teach the green/blue class from 630p to 800p.   in fact, i'd love to do that.   however, i can't cos've werk... n' that's important.   i won't instruct this summer, n' that's good.   it was fun teaching this semester; fun n' enriching.   still i need to get back to spending tues n' thurs nites werking on my techniques n' demo team stuff.

[later] 'twas a bizzy day @ werk, in a way.   not 2 stressful, but full of stuff.

i gotta change my address 4 all my credit cards etc.   i sent out a change of address form to the usps 2day.   i got my new startac 7868 2day, my "permanent" fon, u could say.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i have gotten so sick of using our temporary loaner fons.   'course we very much appreciate ken helping us get new fons.   the 7868 is exactly like the v8160, but it's in a startac housing.   'course we'd like to have v8160s, but oh well.   i gotta enter every1's fon nums into my new fon.   i might need to ask ppl 4 their nums 'gain.

[later] i ate lunch @ wendy's hamburgers in san rafael near orchard supply.   eating in that wendy's, i starting thinking 'bout how it's like to be in socal.   i dunno why, but eating there reminded me of socal.   maybe i eat more fast fud on trips to socal.   the weather in that neighbourhood is very warm, but the restaurant is air conditioned.   lots of mexican daywerkers hang out there.   after lunch, i went to orchard to make copies of our keys n' buy some electrical outlet thingies.   i can't wait to move. heh heh; i keep saying that.   last nite, after practice/filming n' eating @ thai noodles w/ johnny, roland, n' raymond; kaela n' i dropped stuff of @ the new place n' lined some of the cabinets/drawers w/ contact paper.   we ran out of contact paper.   altho' i was sleepy, i felt so happy putting down contact paper w/ kaela.

as i type this that's entertianment plays on pbs kqed 9.   well, we signed the new lease on sat.   it's a great place!   we're on the top floor.   it feels so spacious. 'course we'll move stuff in, i realise.   as the beautiful kaela kang sed, the kitchen looks like it has old components, but they look new.... like the oven n' range look like they're from the 50s or something, but they look really new, like nicely taken care of, i guess.   we have a skylite in the bathroom; i never had that b4.   we have a balcony.   i talked to our neighbour jean, a middle.aged woman who takes care of the garbage n' gardening 4 the bldg.   she sed kaela can use her parking space cos she doesn't have a car.   i hope she means it.   she sed her n' whoever lives w/ her r quiet n' she hopes we r.... uh... i hope we're quiet 'nuff 4 her.   well, on sat, after signing the lease, we ate @ tacqueria la bamba on san pablo in richmond.   i ate menudo 4 the 1st time in my life.   i thought it was a pretty special thing cos i always heard 'bout this tripe soup, but i never got to try it b4 that day.   i was glad i finally got to try it, but i didn't like it as much as i expected.   it's not spicy 'nuff n' pretty greasy.   the tripe is good tho'.   it had honeycomb tripe.   we had pupusas n' plantanos fritos.   we bought some pupusas to go cos we thought we were still hungry.   after we finished our horchata n' tamarindo drinks, we weren't so hungry, so we took the extra pupusas to go.   neway, we stopped by target n' bought a few things.   then we moved some clothes n' kitchen things into the new place.   that's the 1st time i saw the inside.   then i went to mat clean up 4 a li'l bit.   all i did was babysit the link's kids w/ raymond.   carolanne maybe me piggyback her up the rsf stairs over n' over.   i guess she liked making me do werk.   she sed i was getting my exercise.   later i asked ppl if carolanne makes ppl piggyback her up stairs often, but i think some1 sed she always asks, but no1 ever does it.   something like that.   it was fun neway.   i don't know how old carolanne n' tj r... maybe 5 n' 2 or something?   during the mat cleaning, kaela werked on her skoolwerk @ her werk office.   after the mat cleaning / babysitting n' eating pizza w/ the cheese n' pepporini pealed off, i picked kaela up.   oh, i dropped a li'l more kitchen things off @ the new place b4 that.   then i picked up kaela, n' we went to buy a plant in a panda pot from 99 ranch.   we also bought some boba drinks, n' kaela got a box of unagi sushi.   we brought the plant to the new place, picked up johnny n' roland, took them to get kfc, n' went to brandie's in albany to have the skit/video planning mtg: brandie, laura, jerome, joon, johnny, roland, raymond, kaela, n' me.   bruce was passed out on the floor from medication.   brandie took care of him.   marissa was there w/ her family.   we had some fud n' talked 'bout the entertainment.

sun... oh yah... it's now officially mon, but it's a li'l past midnite, so i feel it's still sun...   we werked on the banquet skit/video.   it was quite a day.   i hope this goes well.   ppl r s dang bizzy; it's hard to find time.   we ate a late lunch @ daruma after we had taekwondo practice in the afternoon.   i had office hours 4 my white belts @ that time.   neway, we went to daruma.   i was happy to be back.   the owner's really nice n' friendly to me.   the thing is, he's pretty mean to every1 else, so usually ppl don't wanna go there, but i like the place.   *sigh*   i ate so much.   i had kaela make the purchase 4 both our meals cos she has this student advantage card that's s'pposed to give her a free soda if she buys a meal... but the owners got anal n' sed it only applies if u spend more than $8... n' that $8 only means ur meal, not ur friend's meal, n' not ne boba drink u buy.   it's hard to spend $8 on urself cos... well, 1st off that's a lot of $$$, n' 2ndly the meals there r almost all under $8.   mine wasn't tho, cos it was a huge meal.   the owner gave us 2 free sodas.   c? i think he's a nice guy...   i hope we can go there 'gain soon.

so i'm watching this that's entertainment compilation thingy.   i think these ol' musikals r great!   man, really that's entertainment.   well, it's like watching musik videos.   these ppl cm really talented tho'.   where did contemporary musik go wrong???   these entertainers really entertain.   what's wrong w/ pop culture 2day?   some'd say that it's 2 much 'bout image, right?   that pop singers look good n' stuff but can't per4m.   eh, i dunno.   these entertainers weren't ugly ppl, right?   in their days, they were considered handsome n' beautiful, u know?   u know what i like, in a way, is that these musikals r such big produktions.   i really enjoy listening to this big band musik n' stuff...   i dunno, does this sound really dorky?   i'm s'pposed to be hip, kewl, x.treme, right?   what kind of snowboard punk listens to bing crosby n' judy garland?!   ha ha ha.   *sigh* maybe i'm just unhip, unkewl, right?   "if it's lame to be lame, then i guess i'm just a big lame."   neway, it's like, i'm enjoying watching this program, but it's not like it's gonna be my main musikal interest.   it's simply that i can appreciate these musikal productions.   what i like 'bout old movies n' stuff is that they show a "good life."   they show happy ppl.   then 'gain, i guess they often show rich ppl... but they're not rich ppl i necessarily hate.   hrm... like when we saw that movie charade w/ cary grant n' audrey hepburn.   they cmed like kewl ppl.   like cary grant cms smooth n' suave, n' audrey hepburn's charming in a way.   something 'bout cary grant's look 'minds me of chow yun fat.   hrm... maybe put a coupl'a guns in his hands, john woo style. ha ha ha.   maybe it's the suits they wear.   neway, 'gain... it's not like old movies r my thing, but i think i can sometimes appreciate them.   i really hope this banquet skit/video turns out right... 'but i really can't stress 'bout it right now.   i got things to take care of...   werk's gonna be very hectic this next coupl'a weeks, n' we gotta move into our new place.

2nite josh left me a note on yellow notepad paper.   he sed he's keeping the apt.   he's asking how much rent i plan to pay 4 the month of may.   uh... i'm not s'pposed to pay ne, am i?   i gotta call up reddy, i guess.   i thought i paid my last month's rent when i 1st moved in!   i gotta get my name off the lease n' the deposit back.   josh sed, " hope you found a nice place and have a good life."   yah, i sed stuff like that to him in my prior note to him.   i sed i'm sorry it didn't werk out, that we had this conflict of philosphies; n' i sed good luck.   i 'member when i told rosa i thought it was weird that she sed she "broke up" w/ a friend.   i told her that i can imagine how friends drift apart, but i don't know how friends break up.   only couples break up, i sed.   that conversation happened in josh's car as josh drove us to watch american beauty a long time 'go.   i think rosa still talks to josh, but i dunno.   in josh's note, he sez he'll be out of the country starting 2day.   shoot, so how can i reply to his note?   i just found it now.   i guess, i gotta reply w/ 'nother note, huh?   *sigh* but i don't know the answer to the rent question just yet; gotta call reddy.   well... we'll c.   i can't wait to move out, but i gotta move out stuff li'l by li'l. &nbs; yah, i could use help, but i gotta clean up the bedroom b4 ne1 can start taking big things out.   there's no room.   'course we'll keep the new 'partment clean; don't worry.

ducks @ roadrunner burrito in greenbrae

i ate lunch @ the roadrunner burrito in greenbrae.   there was this pair of ducks patrolling the area.   i liked it very much.   they kept peering in thru the glass door.   the male'd peck @ the door a li'l.   it looked like they wanted to come in.   i ate a fresh vegetable burrito.   why do i keep going to roadruner burrito?   i guess i wanna fill up that burrito card n' like the variety of hot sauce they have.   'member, i spent $8 on a burrito n' sobe the other day there.   that's 1 big reason not to go there!   $$$, $$$, $$$.   the new apt costs more.   i wish my company'd give me a big, fat raise.   i wish.   still ca$h doesn't rule everything 'round me.   happiness is more important than wealth, right?   i can't wait to move all our stuff over to the new apt. @ the current moment, i feel good 'bout life.

do i sound optimistic?   i don't mind, do i?   optimism is good.   i don't like how pessimists think optimists r stoopid.   do pessimists think they can take advantage of optimists?   u know i like moonhee's "life is good" illustrated journal.   sometimes i wanna ask moonhee some questions.   we've e.mailed a li'l b4.   "life is good"; c, that's an optimistic title, right? last nite on the ktvu ch. 2 news's segment 2 human interest story thingy, they talked 'bout the dot com bust.   they talked 'bout all the .com millionaires.on.paper that now hafta sell their houses n' go into debt.   they had a bizness professor talk 'bout how it'll never be that good 'gain.   crazy, huh?   it'll "never" be that good 'gain, huh?   so now we all just gotta werk hard.   no more get rich quick schemes!   ppl have stopped assuming they'll retire by age 30, right?   *sigh*   so now what?   what do we want?   we can be part of the werking class, right?   just werk, making a decent living, have a family; stuff like that, right?   that's ok, right?   there r lots'a mourning doves in the trees right outside my office these days.   that's a good thing.   on sat, as we left the old 'partment, we saw a mourning dove couple sitting on the fire door of our hallway.   every spring mourning dove pairs come to build nests there, but ppl end up accidentally making the nest fall.   1 neighbour posted a sign last yr telling ppl to stop leaving that door open, so the mourning doves won't nest there.   i like having the mourning doves there n' just wish ppl'd be more careful.   now ppl r closing the fire door.   i'm glad i'm just plain moving out.   if there's no mourning doves, if i gotta close the fire door... it's a pain.   i hope our new apt gets mourning doves.   i'd better buy a burd feeder, huh?   i hope ppl'll come over to our new place.

i could say this every fri, huh?   i'm so glad it's weekend.   *sigh* what a week!   emotional bumpy ride, right?   how r u?   what do i want in life?   hrm...   that's sumpthin' to think 'bout, huh?   i wish i had more time to think 'bout that.   i could just sit by a creek, watch pairs of mallard ducks swim by quacking n' think 'bout what i want in life, or what i want out of life...   like, what am i aiming 4?   it cms like i should know, right?   *sigh* lemme tell u tho'.   i'm thinking, @ this moment, that if u ask ppl my age what they want to be, what they want out of life, etc., %50'll admit they don't know; n' 'nother %49.9'll lie n' tell u sumpthin', but they really don't know either.   heh, *sigh*, u think?   isn't that the sentiment we get from that baz luhrman song?   i know i'm glad we got a new apt.   that gives me hope.   life progresses.   i'm ok, right?   i'm gonna make it in life, right?   so what do i want?   i like werking as an engineer, right?   i think so.   werk has been hard werk lately, but 2day was a happier day @ werk.   i had plenty of tasks to do, but i didn't feel overburdened.   also i felt like my effort actually led to results.   that makes u feel good, right?   dang, like last fri, i was feeling pretty crappy as i left werk, huh?   *sigh* well, what else in life?   well, u know how i sed life is a triangle 4 me: werk, taekwondo, relationship; not necessarily in that order.   by relationship i mean the beautiful kaela kang.   so i definitely don't want to put her @ the end of that list.   kaela's obviously a very important person in my life, the most important person in my life.   i try to be a better person 4 her.   i want to be a better person 4 her.   "u make me want to be a better man."   this week has been very stressful of course.   taekwondo's given us both so much stress.   i dunno.   it's sumpthin' we do 2gether tho'.   we're both in it.   it's how we met.   the upcoming 1st dan test is stressing her out, i know.   i dunno what to do 'bout it tho', u know?   what can i do?   i want to help her, but it's a very fragile situation... u know? i worry 'bout being doing that overcritical, insensitive asian dad thing, u know?   as much as i'm a guy who's all into asian culture this n' that; sometimes i'd admit there's a flaw in asian culture, how 2 many asian parents put so much pressure on their kids.   i know i really like how kaela's dad told me he trusts kaela's decisions in life cos she knows her life, her interests, her pursuits better than he does.   i liked that.   what'll my kids be like?   will i be able to say the same 'bout them?   heh...   *sigh* neway, many non.taekwondo readers'd be so surprised @ how much taekwondo can stress us out, huh?   well, shoot... it's not like other "interests/hobbies," not @ this level, not @ this skool.   taekwondo is pretty intense @ this level, out here.   i dunno... maybe i need to take a step back, breathe, n' realise it's not so stressful.   u know i totally don't think of taekwondo as an "interest/hobby" nemore, right?   it's more like a 2nd career.   still, let's get real: i'm not a taekwondo "master;" i'm not a professional instructor; i'm not a nat'l/int'l level competitor like jason.   yah, get real! i'm not.   so what am i?   heh.. *sigh* well, sam n' i r the demo team leaders, n' that's somethin' new 'round here, right?   i mean, the past few yrs have been the start of sumpthin' new 'round here.   someday demo taekwondo'll be a much more refined, developed thing.   someday.   ucmap's hosting a hanmadang demo competition next yr... but it's being organised by the hankido club... i don't get it.   demo... i try to werk hard @ demo techniques to keep up w/ the young'uns.   there r some really good demo taekwondoists here now.   they can do things better than i can.   'lotta times my stress comes from organisational stuff.   i'm expected to organise things, demo team n' other stuff.   i teach right now; but the instructional semester is almost over.   teaching is fun n' rewarding.   it also takes 'way from my personal practice time tho'.   still teaching basics improves ur own basics.   i haven't thought so hard 'bout taekwondo in a while.   in fact, when do i ever get a chance to think?   i don't feel i get a chance to reflect.   i just wanna find that spot by the creek full of quacking ducks n' reflect on life.   maybe i'm a very independent guy.   if so, that's good n' bad.   it's good to be able to survive on ur own; it's bad to seek to live on ur own, not to open up, u know?   sometimes i think i gotta be more open n' honest w/ my feelings.   am i ashamed of my feelings? am i ashamed of myself? am i ashamed of who i am? what if the answer were "yes"?   there r 2 many proud ppl in this world ready to tear u down.   2 many smug ppl.   they can't deal w/ their own inconfidence n' fears n' pretend they don't have ne.   confidence.   confidence is good.   u gotta believe in urself.   how r u gonna succeed w/o confidence?   i ate mcyukyuk's 4 lunch, a chicken mcgrill meal.   i won a small drink, playing the "who wants to be a millionaire?" sweepstakes.   i went to the bank, withdrew $$$ 4 2morrow's lease signing.   i went to the post office to mail off the t.shirts professor lee left in my car.   it costs quite a bit to send that package to korea.   maybe i'll try to get ucmap to reimburse me.   then i bought a money order w/ the ca$h i withdrew.   neway... so what am i thinking?   *sigh* what do i wanna do w/ my life?   shouldn't i think 'bout that more.   maybe i should do more of this "aloud" thinking.   i think it's making me feel better, but i worry that i'll read this later n' want to delete it.   maybe if i just keep typing in 1 long paragraph ppl won't read this.   nuts! thank goodness it's fri.   my brain's fried.

happy. sad. happy. sad. hopeful. stressed. ecstatic. frustrated. stoked. bummed.   last nite i did laundry.   i reflected in my head 'bout my journal entry n' thought, "i am barely breathing."   i'm so sick of that song cos they used to play it nonstop on the radio.   i sed i'd stop whining, n' i wish i kept my wurd.   i was @ werk pretty late last nite cos i had things to finish up.   how often do ppl debate w/ themselves: "should i be a dedicated, disciplined, self.sacrificing werker n' werk extra on my own time? or should i demand to werk only the hours i'm paid 4 cos i'm a human being?"   both r virtues, right?   ppl laud u 4 having great werk ethics.   ppl laudju 4 not being a werkaholic.   what if instead of "most likely to succeed," in high skool yrbooks, they voted a student "most likely not to sacrifice career 4 family."   what is success, right?   isn't having a happy marriage a success?   isn't having a happy family a success?   ppl tell u to enjoy the simple things in life.   ppl tell u to make sumpthin' of urself.   cos we got the apt, i felt good 'bout career.   i felt that i really benefitted from my job cos i think the landlords chose us over other applicants cos i had a more "stable" career than they did.   i think so, altho' i can't be sure.   i feel good 'bout this new apt.   yesterday afternoon, i had a thought: "i really feel this new apt'll be the birthplace of benomix4."   yah, i think so cos i'll have room to set up my deejay equipment n' everything.   still will i have time?   well, i hope so.

so last nite, after leaving werk late, i drove back to berkeley.   i picked the beautiful kaela kang up from the rsf.   i was originally thinking i'd werk out.   i was pretty sore n' tired tho' yesterday.   i started stressing 'bout demo team n' an upcoming demo 4 an elementary skool.   neway, i didn't practice.   i picked up kaela n' drove to tacqueria cancun.   she bought me dinner.   i wanted spicy salsa n' got it.   i hoped spice'd cheer me up.   the spice must flow.   kaela saw/heard my car alarm go off.   my car was parked right outside.   i turned 'round n' turned off the alarm.   a old hippie man came up to me n' scolded me 4 driving a car as it's detrimental to the earth.   he scolded me w/ such spite n' anger, but i was so glad to hear berkeley wurds after immersing myself in marin county life so much.   uh... i don't immerse myself in marin county life! what am i saying?! well, k... i don't immerse myself, but i do spend 'least 9 hrs of my day in marin county.   i get so sick of hearing ppl @ burrito places asking the kitchen to customise their order to their exact detailed specifications. geez... just let them make a burrito! they know how to do it! so 4 a change of pace i get to hear a ol' berkeley hippie tell me i'm killing the planet.   that's fine.   after eating our cancun burritos, we went to long's drugs, n' i picked up some pics from the past coupl'a months, i guess.   i started that roll 'round when phil visited n' finished it @ laura's b.day party.   then we came home, n' i did laundry.   i had an awful nite's sleep cos i had to wake up to put clothes in the dryer n' then check them n' then take 'em out.   i don't mind tho'; laundry's gotta be done, u know?

i fear i'm getting 2 emotionally dependent 'gain.   u haven't heard that wurd in a while, huh?   ha!   well, i worry 'bout it.   i get happy thinking 'bout the new apt.   i thought 'bout my career a li'l 2day.   i was reading an issue of photonics spectra n' concluded that i'm underpaid.   still it's not a good time to be asking 4 a raise, u know.   neither is it a good time to be hopping jobs.   *sigh* i dunno...   i'd be paid more now if i had done a better job 'bout a 1.5 yrs 'go, right?   i know i made career sacrifices back in the peak days of p.crew.   i coulda werked harder back then.   i werk harder now.   still u know... like my company'd have a better opinion of me if i werked harder back then.   i prob'ly would be paid better now, right?   i won't regret the past tho'.   those were very fun days.   i think it had to happen.   yah, ppl sacrificed.   some students prob'ly let their grades slide, this n' that.   u gotta have fun sometime.   *sigh*   u werk hard; u get depressed; u get stressed.   when do u rejoice?   i dunno... when a landlord gives u an apt cos they like ur career path.   then u pay higher rent 4 the new 'partment.   butchu get to eat dinner in peace n' have friends over.   i feel down lately, down n' stressed.   what 'bout that joy luck club idea tho? celebrating while everything 'round just plain sucks.

[later] i tried to buy a $3 burrito from the fud wagon, but i got there 2 late, n' they wouldn't take nemore orders.   i drove out to roadrunner burrito in larkspur landing 4 lunch, n' ate out on the patio.   my lunch cost me $8.08!   geez! cost of living increase!   really! if i've gotta shell out $8 4 a burrito, i need a raise.   the best way to get a raise is to get a new job.   it's not a good time to jobhop.   [later] i read moonhee's journal.   it cheers me up.   [later] sometimes u say u'r anxious, n' it's a good thing.   then if u talk 'bout anxiety it's usually a bad thing, right?   i feel a li'l bit of anxiety right now.   hrm... i need to think n' relax... maybe u'd call that meditation.   some ppl'd say meditation is clearing the mind.   maybe what i need to do is reflect.   i think 'twas yesterday that i saw a pair of ducks walking in the grass across from my office front.   pairs of ducks always cheer me up.   i like cing ducks in mated pairs.   it's so kewl to c mallards.   they rn't androgynous; that's 4 sure.   u can really tell which's the male n' which's the female.   i must sound really sexist, huh?   u know sparrows r like that 2; n' robins.   ducks have short legs, so when they walk in the grass, they really waddle.   oh, did i mention i went to jamba juice on shattuck b4 werk?   can u believe that?   why am i patronising them so much?   lemme tell u: i really should switch to eating tv dinners 4 lunch to save $$$ to pay the rent.

i'm fighting pessimism.   i'm trying to remain optimistic.   why is it so hard sometimes to believe in my own philosophy?   *sigh*   i've had such a hectic, bizzy day 2day.   i don't feel all that great.   man, didn't i just say yesterday that i'd stop whining so much?   oh, u know... a big chunk got messed up in my mon journal entry "april showers bring may flowers," 23 april, 2001.   u can go back n' read it cos i fixed the html bug.   *sigh*   neway... i'm feeling stress 'gain.   breathe in, breathe out; breathe in, breathe out.   last nite, i was really happy cos my white belts put on a good show 4 their 2nd mock promotional w/ master yoon.   i was very proud of them.   i'm a li'l sore 2day, my legs.   i don't mind.   sore is sometimes good.   i don't mind doing taekwondo every nite of the week.   the idea of having a break later, after this semester finishes is good; but i don't mind werking out every nite this week.   i had round table pizza @ lunch 2day cos our unix administrator had a li'l last day party.   earlier, when i went out to get something 4 my werk @ orchard supply, i bought a smoothie from jamba juice.   i used this coupon 4 a free mug, but they didn't put my smoothie in a mug.   i told the guy, n' he sed, "oh, u ordered a mug?   u gotta go get it."   so i just went n' grabbed 1 off the shelf n' left.   i thought, "man, it would've been easy to just grab a mug n' shoplift it if i wanted to."   just a thought.   the mug sells 4 $3.50.   i also have coupons 4 buy 1 get 1 free smoothies.   a smoothie usually costs more than $3.50 @ jamba juice.   crazy, huh?   man, when we move, my budget's gonna be altered: i'm gonna hafta spend less on going out n' eating out, etc.   *sigh* but 'least eating @ home'll be so much more pleasant in the new place.   ah, now there's an optimistic thought!   n' when i think 'bout it i feel good.   embrace optimism.

anchovies n' shrooms

how r u ppl 2day?   u know, u gotta tell me these things, or i won't know.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i like anchovies n' shrooms on our pizza.   what 'boutchu?

[later] why did i wear long sleeves to werk 2day?   it's such gorgeous, summerlike weather.   i had a "toikey" sandwich on rye from noah's @ lunch.   last nite, we went to taekwondo practice.   master yoon was there.   he helped me n' johnny w/ demo stuff.   @ 1st i was a li'l disappointed that my white belt students didn't come to my office hrs, but then i was glad that i got to spend a li'l time werkin' on my own stuff.   i got my oil changed yesterday.   i feel ok right now.   i hope ppl don't think i whine 2 much nowadays.   sometimes i catch myself whining more in my journal these days.   man, i'm sorry.   "the beno journal" turned into a whinefest so gradually, i didn't even notice.   let's think happy thoughts.   u know how i sed jerome n' laura've been hanging out online @ this place called bronx's junkyard forums.   well, 1nce in a while i stop in n' read.   it's a msg board.   most of the ppl posting r like 17-22 yr old asian males.   sometimes i feel like such a big brutha when i talk to these guys.   neway, recently jerome started a topic asking ppl "what do u like that ur bf/gf does?"   c, that's the spirit.   ppl gotta discuss the positive things in their lives now n' then, not just bitch n' moan.   u gotta countchur blessings, appreciate whatchu got... lest it be taken 'way, u know?   u can always wish ur life was better in this way n' that... but dang... what 'bout all u've got right now?   what 'bout all i've got right now?   let me not take it 4 granted!

so maybe u want me to proceed to answer jerome's question... or maybe u don't.   in ne case, i shall: i like having fun w/ kaela... she makes a very good companion 4 me.   i love how, when i take her out to dinner, she smiles such a beautiful smile across the table to me.   i love how she wants to have a good time, to go out n' be alive.   i like how she n' i have li'l senseless things to laff 'bout; sometimes ol' inside jokes, sometimes spontaneous jokes... i like having fun w/ kaela.   i also like hearing 'bout how she sometimes goes to the am/pm market n' buys hot dogs n' stuff like that.   it's so interesting to me.   of course, i also like how she's taking that taiwanese class.   i think that's kewl.

in my diet, i need more spicy fud!   also, i should drink more h2o, i think.

that's what they say, right?   man... 'twas a bizzy weekend! bizzy w/ taekwondo... so much taekwondo stuff, but it felt good.   i felt alive.   i liked being w/ taekwondo friends.   neway, i'll talk 'bout this weekend later...   2day... man, 2day's been an emotional rollercoaster, n' i've never felt so many headaches!   i mean literally.   i don't often get headaches.   2day, however, i've felt them.   werk was just a disaster in the morning.   it cmed like i had so much to do... n' the company was having a party @ lunch, n' the rest of the day was s'pposed to be a company holiday...   in the end i was very, very late to the party, n' came back to werk the rest of the day.   argh.   when i got back to werk, i had a msg from bartel's property managemnt.   i was very anxious: did we get the apt? yes? no?   i also checked my e.mail n' got this nasty letter from an taekwondo ex.student who complained to me that i didn't get her a refund since she dropped the class due to an injury.   i was so frustrated w/ that: i'm not a ucmap employee.   i don't get paid to teach the class.   i don't have nething to gain from her not getting her $$$ back.   i 'ready wrote an e.mail to monica, the club rep a while 'go but didn't get a response.   what can i do?!   geez!   does this person think i'm running a bizness scam n' gettin' rich off of teaching taekwondo?!   urgh!   i was really frustrated.   *sigh*   then i called the realty place back.   i almost asked 4 the wrong person cos i was still thinking 'bout that nasty e.mail.   i felt the emotions of anxiety over the housing question come back.   aha! we got the place!!!!! i was so happy!   right away i told my cowerkers... uh... the 2 who were there... n' i called the beautiful kaela kang'course.   woohoo!   we got the place!   *sigh* now all we gotta do is move... ugh.   n' i gotta give 30 day notice... to reddy n' to josh...   i'm gonna write a letter to josh n' send it usps w/ a check to reimburse him 4 utilities n' whatever injustices he thinks i so much put him thru by having kaela over... i'm sending it usps, under toby's recommendation, cos it'll have a legal postmark date on it.   well, i'll even tell him 'bout how the rent board sez he can protest ne rent hike that reddy tries to give him.   i'll need to tell reddy to take my name off the lease tho'.   the leases'll overlap a while, almost a month, i guess.   whew! this move is making me very happy, yet it's gonna cost me some $$$.   still... i'm very happy.

this weekend: so kaela n' i celebrated our 15th monthversary.   since i knew we'd be ditching this apt, i wanted to take her somewhere in the neighbourhood.   i took her to trattoria mazzini on telegraph.   i'd always cn it n' was curious.   then i found out it's 1 of the chronicle's top 100 restaurants, so hey, why not?   4 our monthversary, kaela gave me 2 bottles of alsatian wine.   we opened a bottle of riesling @ the restaurant.   i was very happy.   i loved it.   kaela's wonderful!

on sat, we went to do the cal day demo.   we didn't wake up early 'nuf to get the free jamba juice.   oh well.   we went to home depot to buy 2 bricks.   on the way, we got jamba juices in emeryville, but not 4 free.   we did the demo.   'twas great, altho' we ran out of boards.   nuts.   afterwards, the demo team had a bbq in willard park.   we played violent, barefoot soccer.   it was fun.   i hadn't had so much fun running 'round in grass in a long time... 'guess since that ultimate frisbee day 'long time 'go... almost 2 yrs 'go.   i like running on grass cos it reminds me of when i was a kid, playing soccer.   i went back to volunteer 4 wushu w/ lotsa other demo team members.   after that, i was 2 tired to do nething else.

sun, i dropped kaela off @ her 1st aid training, then went to werkout w/ hamid, my student.   then i went to go pick up boards n' bricks 4 every1 having their board n' brick breaking session that nite.   jerome brought his car, n' raymond rode w/ me.   we stopped @ jamba juice on shattuck.   looks like "free smoothie day" is good marketing, huh?   johnny n' i helped w/ the big breaking session, altho' we didn't break... or maybe johnny did a li'l.   afterwards, a whole bunch'a ppl went to the durant fud ct to eat.   i liked being 'mongst taekwondo ppl.   it wasn't my usually bunch, maybe, but i didn't care.   i'll hang out w/ whoever wants to have fun, u know?

i can't wait to move! it'll be... phew... such a task!!! i've got so much crap!!!   boy, oh boy...   it's a good thing the leases'll overlap, so i have time to move my crap.   man... this is crazy.

2day is the 15th monthversary of the beautiful kaela kang's getting 2gether w/ me.   i'm going to take her out 2nite.   she already knows the restaurant to which i'm taking her.   i let her know last nite.   what she doesn't know is that i'm gonna take her out to a movie... crocodile dundee in los angeles! yup, nuthin' like takin' my gurl out to dinner n' a movie! ha ha ha... i am only kidding; i don't think that movie'd be a very romantic movie, nor would i take kaela to c it on a special nite like 2nite. nope.

yesterday morning i had some interesting dreams.   i dreamt that we went on the ucmap korea trip this summer.   it was really fast n' unmemorable.   then we got back to 'merica, landed in sfo.   then we got on a bus to go back to berkeley, but 4 some reason we went via san mateo county.   we stopped @ a casino in san mateo.   @ this casino, u trade in ur $$$ 4 these tokens... they were shaped like dogs!   weird, huh?   they had gold 1s, silver 1s, then plastic grey 1s, n' black 1s.   kaela played a slot machine n' won big.   then i had a 2nd dream.   i was going to watch some concert @ zellerbach w/ jerome n' andy.   the person per4ming was named john zee.   i think he was some sort of classical or jazz musician.   i met jerome n' andy @ some dc to eat dinner.   i was really late.   that's all i 'member.

so i found the results of my crushlinks.   i have a crushlink w/ kaela kang!   that's a good thing.   i have a crushlink w/ jerome ri.   uhm... that's nice.

i confess that i feel that last nite, i didn't do my best @ teaching the white belts.   i've had better nites.   i had 2 much on my mind, 'specially w/ the upcoming demo.   after this demo, i'll do a better job.   i had an "off" nite.

1 nite a few weeks back, some1 left an empty bottle of bacchus-f in the martial arts room.   u know what bacchus-f is, right?   it's like red bull, but it's korean, n' they've had it 4 a long time.   chals was telling raymond 'bout bacchus-f, then he got on the topic of how korean beverages r sold in smaller containers than american beverages.   then he sed it's such a good idea cos korean sell it in just the right amt.   if u have more, then the drink gets warm by the time ur @ the end of it.   n' that's gross.   he was selling this idea to every1 listening.   then sung got all annoyed n' sed, "ok, ok.   u made ur pt. koreans smart! yah yah."   i thought it was so funny the way sung sed that.   neway, i just thought of that nite cos i was drinking a hansen's mandarin lime "natural" soda, n' i realised that man... everytime i get to the end of a soda @ werk, it's warm n' yucky.   i don't like warm soda.   i had that sugary aftertaste 'specially when after a warm soda.   don't blame me; i voted 4 chals.

[later] grrrr! i'm so pissed.   i've been trying to get this device designed @ werk.   i told my supervisor i'd get it done 2day.   argh, sometimes i give myself unrealistic deadlines @ werk.   i should've just sed it'd take longer.   i'm frustrated.   time to go home.

@ werk i got this catalog from mcm electronics.   i really like looking @ it.   it's got lots of stuff fry's used to have, like electronic parts n' gadgets; really geeky stuff.   i think i might place an order w/ them sometime.   stuff's so much cheaper there than @ local stores.   there's all this interesting stuff!

so last nite, we went to look @ this 'partment on dwight by mcgee.   it was a great apartment, but i dunno if i like the location; n' i wish it were cheaper.   i'll call back the realtor on fri 'bout the mlk place.   that's the place i turned in an application 4 yesterday.   i like that 'partment's location better.   i haven't cn the inside yet, but i think the beautiful kaela kang sed it's nicer.   so i consider that our 1st choice n' this dwight place maybe our 2nd choice.   the landlord @ the dwight place sounded really eager 4 us to move in.   like, i think he likes us.   still... i gotta say that the mlk place is my 1st choice.   if we don't get it, then i'll consider the dwight place.   i told kaela this last nite: it's like settling 4 my 2nd choice... but i shouldn't be disappointed or nething.   we've got to have housing.   it's not like my finding a gf; it's ok to settle 4 a 2nd choice...   u know?

i modified my gbook, so u can sign it 'gain, even if u've sign it b4.   i like gbooks.   when's joon gonna bring his page back?   [later] i had chicken mcnuggets n' a garden salad shaker 4 lunch.   i asked 4 6 nuggets; they gave me 5.

these crushlink e.mails

what r all these crushmaster@crushlink.com, "subject: somebody has a crush on you" e.mails i keep getting?   it tells me that it's not junk mail, that somebody sent this to me, that i gotta go to their site n' enter some code.   so i tried that, n' it tells me i gotta enter a bunch of e.mails of ppl i like.   if i guess right, they'll tell me.   if i put in an e.mail of some1 else, then they'll send that person an e.mail saying somebody has a crush on them.   hrm...   that sounds like a good advertising scheme.   n' so... s'pposedly some1 either likes me or thinks i like her... or uh.. him, but uhm, yah.   well, whether this person is a guy or a gurl, i'd think she/he 'd know that my heart belongs to the beautiful kaela kang.   eh, maybe some1 just sent it as a joke... repeatedly, to my different e.mail addresses... or maybe he/she thought i put his/her e.mail on the list as a joke.   eh! whatever...   it's an interesting site, i guess.

be kewl like kewl kaela n' sign beno's gbook!

it's 143a right now.   (one forty three in the morning) can u believe i didn't log a journal entry yesterday?   i've been so bizzy.   the apt stunk so bad last nite; i dunno why.   it smelled like some1 took a dump in the living room or something.   i sprayed some air freshener, n' the beautiful kaela kang lit a candle.   (by "last nite," i mean mon nite.   right now it's officially wed.)   demo practices have been pretty productive lately.   2nite, we went to thai noodle after practice, a whole buncha us: roland, erin, laura, young, johnny, raymond, kaela, n' me.   it felt like ol' p.crew days.   i hope this summer'll be fun.

i was thinking 2day 'bout how my journal lacks an entry 'bout 1 nite back in 1999 when kaela's friend linda came to visit from san diego, n' she, kaela, owen, n' i went to brother's in sf.   the next morning, the demo team did a demo in richmond the following morning.   then we ate @ chevy's.   i didn't talk 'bout this weekend.   the closest entry is "no, not weekly!   supposed to be daily!" on 20 september, 2000.   u know, i look back on those journal entries n' realise i didn't rattle off events so much back then.   weird, huh?

diet pepsi

i feel so much better since the beautiful kaela kang cut my hair on sun, after taekwondo practice, b4 we went to san jo 4 an easter dinner w/ my mom, grace, n' steve.   do sheep feel better after being sheared, u think?   hrm... i hope wool producers rn't cruel to sheep.

the yellow menace

yesterday, i picked up my latest copy of a magazine from home.   i got a free subscription 4 filling out some web survey thing on their page.   i used my san jo address cos, @ the time, i was already subscribing to the magazine @ my berkeley address.   they've been sending the magazine to my san jo address 4 a while, but i had no clue 'bout it.   i sorta 4got.   in general, i like a magazine, but sometimes i think the authors r 2 out of touch w/ asian culture.   many of the asians involved in the asian.am movement r so "getting back in touch w/ their asian side."   often they're asians who neglected their asian side when they were younger, n' r just now taking an interest in asian culture.   oftentimes they r just so clueless.   well, heh! who am i to pt fingers, this n' that.   i think i'm kinda inbetween.   i'm not a 4reign.born, recent immigrant, but i don't think ppl should call me "whitewashed."   (u know i was born in ann arbor, michigan, right?)   u know i like listening to asian musik, eating asian fud, watching asian movies, etc.   i really like these things; but i'm american born, n' lived in 'merica all my life.   i'd like to c more asians in touch w/ asian culture get into asian.am politics / american politics/media.   i guess that request sounds ridiculous to many cos i'm basically saying: i wish foreigners'd take over american politics.   heh.   well, i think that's a li'l bit xenophobic.   politics suck neway.   let's talk 'bout media etc.   politics may suck, but being worshipped n' adored in the limelite is always good.   so i read in a that there's this 7"6', 20 yr old chinese basketball player that's gonna be in the nba next season.   c, that's good stuff.   i don't pay all that much attention to sports, but pop culture is good.   ha, imagine this chinese basketball player making dumb nestlé crunch commercials! ha ha.   the world of advertising will no longer be black n' white.

on sat nite, after eating @ party sushi, kaela n' i went to look @ the north berkeley apt, 4 which we applied.   i realised that northwest berkeley is not collegetown berkeley.   if we live there, we won't be living 'mongst students.   1 thing that means is it'll be a less asian neighbourhood.   the world of berkeley is not all yellow.   it looks like a nice, peaceful hippie commune.   i mean that in a good way.   it does look like a hippie commune.   when kaela 1st saw it n' called me on her cell, she sed it looked like somewhere a cult would live.   well, that's what berkley's all 'bout, right?   it's not 'bout a university! it's 'bout hippies!   u know, i go 'round supporting liberal politics, but i believe that the city of berkeley wouldn't really exist much w/o the university here.   i never 1nce played volleyball in ppl's park, but i think the ppl who put broken glass in the sand were very irresponsible.   that happened yrs ago.   u kids don't even know 'bout the ppl's park sand volleyball ct n' all the controversy it brought.   "ppl's park is 4 the ppl," ppl sed; but the university claimed ownership to the land n' wanted to build on it.   the hippies didn't want drunk frat boys playing beach volleyball in their park.   they got rid of the volleyball ct.

antipedantry

i thought 'bout this 2day: antipedantry.   i think it's a good thing.   i think it's a good thing to be smart but not act like it, 'least not try to impress ppl w/ how many books u've read.   otherwise, antipedantry is just a way 4 stoopid ppl to justify their lives.   i'll think 'bout this subject 4 a while n' get back to u on it someday.   till then, didju know i redid my gbook?   even if u've signed it b4, sign it 'gain.   also add a quote to my benoquote list.

i like that name, eggster.   it's the annual easter egg hunt n' learning fair hosted by uc berkeley 4 kids.   so 2day we did a taekwondo demo there.   it went pretty well.   roland, thanks 4 coming to watch us!   i really appreciate it.   i had to do 2 breaks: 3x flying side kick n' halo, synchronised w/ johnny.   johnny n' i also put on a sparring demonstration.   wow, we spont so much time moving 16 mats.   'gain it felt good to make good use of my car.   after putting the mats away, the demo team members went to café durant 4 lunch.   it was a compact version of the demo team: me, johnny, michael, kaela, raymond, alex, n' young.   sterling helped us here n' there 2.   after a long, social lunch, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to the vlsb biosciences library, so she could get some articles 4 her black belt paper.

2day is fri the 13th.   i don't think we've had 1 in a while, n' ppl just don't talk 'bout it as much after elementary skool.   i 'member back in those days kids made such a big deal 'bout it... well, kids n' teachers.   hrm... as i started writing 'bout elementary skool, i started reminsicing 'bout the taste of skool cafeteria tacos.   i was thinking 'bout the thickly shredded cheddar cheese n' the greasy, seasoned ground beef.   did i ever tell u 'bout how our skool cafeteria used to have these things called pronto pups, a hot dog baked into a roll.   it was sorta like a corndog, but no cornmeal, just white flour bread.   it'd be healthy, i guess; but the hot dog had lots'a grease that leaked out n' soaked into the bread.   sometimes the wieners were weird colours 2.   what else did they feed us?   uhm, in elementary skool, i 'member meat sauce spaghetti, salad w/ runny bleu cheese dressing, lots'a rolls, pork empanadas, very bready, thick crust pizza w/ dried up cheese n' dried up sauce... in middle skool, ppl ate nachos 'lot.   they'd sell u a box of nachos n' a cup of nacho cheese w/ this dried up cheeseskin on the top 4 $1.50.   normal lunches were $1.50.   in elementary skool, they were $1.   in middle skool, ppl ate really unhealthy lunches: hostess cupcakes, milkshakes, those nachos... it was awful! but every1 did it.   in high skool we had more choices.   we had closed campus, so we couldn't leave 4 lunch.   the "snack bar" sold all sortsa junk fud.   the cafeteria had those typical cafeteria lunches 4, i think, $2.   i 'member getting hamburgers n' fries from the snack bar.   during our last 2 yrs, i think, we had taco bell express burritos n' togo's sandwiches shipped in n' sold.   they were expensive tho', more expensive than they'd cost @ the actual restaurants.   i guess it's ok cos leland had so many spoiled kids, right? eh.

a coupl'a nites 'go, i was reading the newsweek magazine that the beautiful kaela kang borrowed from andy.   the feature article was 'bout beef diseases.   i read this article 'bout the .com bubble burst.   it talked 'bout how much things have changed btwn 1999 n' 2001.   it's true; i feel i've sorta witnessed much of it, despite not living in the actual silicon valley.   heh; boy, am i glad i don't werk 4 a .com!   *sigh*   i started to think 'bout it all tho'... think how ppl really resent .com millionaires (on paper) back in those days.   is it sorta a karma thing?   uhm, i dunno if that's whatchu'd call it... butchu know?   like, it was destined 4 the .com millionaires on paper (mops) to fall cos every1 wanted them to fall.   u think?   i guess, if u pted out that they should've donated their wealth to charity, then it'd be a matter of karma, huh?   'member, tho'; i don't think in terms of karma.   just think, tho', we've just witnessed the rise n' fall of the .com.   "the internet? is that thing still around?!" (homer simpson quote)   heh, just imagine if the internet really got phased out someday.   weird, huh?   some technologies get phased out, 'course... just think of betamax n' laserdisc!   i'm really glad the cd standard survived this long.   i really don't want dvds to replace cds 4 audio.   i own so many cds, u know?   i like the cd standard.   *sigh* cassette tape.... audio cassette tape.   i owned my fair share.   i even owned vinyl... nondeejaying vinyl! vinyl albums.   neway... .coms... yah, what a crazy time this turn of the century has been, huh?   4 a while, u could be an uneducated slacker w/ just a li'l idea of how to surf the web or maybe write some lame webpage n' get paid big bucks.   u could come to werk in shorts n' t-shirt.   *sigh* but now it's back to werking hard, huh?

u know, heh... it's not like i just learned this from newsweek!   some ppl'd say newsweek is a really stoopid magazine.   it's 2 conservative.   it thinks it's hip when it's not.   they come 'round to reporting 'bout stuff way after it happens.   etc.   'member how ppl hated how they had some feature on "generation x" 'bout 5 yrs go?   ppl thought it was so lame.   well, u know... living in berkeley n' having graduated from cal, u have a different view on media...   berkeley ppl'll say the sf chronicle sucks cos it's 2 conservative.   i think lotsa other ppl don't think like that; they just accept it as the standard.   i belive it tho'; i'll believe that the sf chronicle is 2 conservative.   so what's a liberal newspaper? sf bay guardian?   wise fahad told me that, believe it or not, the nation's most moderate newspaper is the christian science monitor.   weird, huh?   he learned that in mass com class.   political conservative, 4 the most part, sucks big time.   what do conservatives believe in?   is there nething in it 4 me?   they want to lower taxes.   that'd mean more $$$ to me, right?   well... mostly they'd lower taxes 4 ppl richer than me, right?   neway... did i ever complain 'bout how much taxes i pay?   not really.   maybe when i got my 1st real, nonexempt pay check, i was shocked... but i've learned to accept it.   i don't mind giving the government a li'l $$$ to run the country.   i believe in government welfare n' healthcare.   am i a socialist now?   ha.   lemme tell u 'bout 'nother political belief: i got this crap in the mail 'bout "english only, make english the 'official' language of the u.s., 4ce government employees to speak english, this, that.   it's all crap, i say.   i don't believe in it.   they had some guy w/ a latino last name signing the letter, a figurehead puppet, i'm sure... u know?   just like that guy in fremont... maybe it was that guy in fremont; i 4get his name.   there was this latino guy in fremont that started a measure or proposition, or whatever, on the ballot to outlaw non.english bizness signs.   lemme tell u... i'm glad that immigrants to the u.s. do learn english.   butchu know... i'm totally 'gainst ne "english only" movement.   americans r closed minded 'nuff as is.   americans r stoopid 'nuff as is.   if 'mercans 'least learned to speak 'nother language, that'd 'least make them that much smarter.   u know the joke: "u call a person that speaks 2 languages bilingual.   u call a person that speaks 3 languages trilingual.   what do u call a person that only speaks 1 language?   an american!"   that's 2 true.   neway, 'nuff politics!

no... actually i'll say more: "conservative," that's a pretty bad wurd 'round here, huh?   i hate most things "conservative," right?   it just has a bad connotation to beno: politically conservative, socially conservative, religiously conservative, sexually conservative, conservative fashion.   conservation, now that's a good thing.   we should conserve our resources: water, electricity, gas, petroleum.   "conservation" good, "conservative" bad.   but is that really true?   well, i dunno... am i conservative 'bout nething?   i'm not a new age hippy.   i don't walk 'round naked, 'least not outside.   honestly, i don't do drugs.   some ppl might think i have conservatively asian philosophies... sometimes.   "traditional," that's a different wurd.   "moderate," now that's 'nother bad wurd in many social circles, right?   "moderate" sounds like u don't have an opinion.   "moderate" means u don't stand up 4 ur beliefs.   "moderate" is boring.   "moderate," "moderate," moderate."   the bible speaks ill of "lukewarm christians," right?   that's "moderate" 4 u.   early in my life, i decided to dislike the idea of "moderate," n' decided that it's better to be extreme.   but hrm... oftentimes ppl who r really extreme r just wackos, right?   hrm... heh, so u know... i decided maybe the best thing is to be a "hypocrite."   eh, i'm no philosopher, so i never really thought that thru.   rn't real philosophers those college juniors n' sophomores that go over to their friend's apartment w/ a tea kettle n' sake n' say they want to spend the evening drinking warm sake n' deconstructing the bible?   ha ha ha. those ppl r philosophers, huh?   cos u know... attacking the bible is such a revolutionary idea, n' it'd take true philosophers to come up w/ that.   ha ha ha.   "are you being sarcastic?" "i don't even know anymore."   imho, cynics suck!   i dream of the day when i'll go thru.out the world n' wipe out cynicism.

yesterday, i had such a full day!   i got to werk early 4 a very long mtg.   i stayed @ werk a li'l late.   then i went to practice.   i taught my class.   dr. ur asked us to stuff envelopes 4 mailings re: the world university taekwondo championships that we're hosting next yr.   we also had to label n' seal the envelopes.   there were 3 languages 4 the mailings: english, french, n' spanish.   there was a big mix up in the labels, n' all the sudden the job doubled in complexity.   i really needed to take johnny n' young to practice w/ the demo team, but i felt bad leaving the white belts to do this job that evolved into a mess.   well, after the red/black class bowed out, i knew i had to start demo practice.   we stayed until the rsf kicked us out.   what a full day!   i was a li'l sleepy 2day.   sometimes on fris, altho' i should be happy it's fri, i'm just totally exhuasted.   i hope, tho', i never just go home n' watch tv n' sleep on fri evenings.   fris have always meant a somewhat social evening 4 me... 'least ever since... i guess high skool.   i guess it's cos we always went to church fellowship on fri nites.   'course we shouldn't think of church as a "social" thing, but i mean... u'r w/ ppl.   also, u'r usually out of the house.   it's good to get out of the house.   if u like u'r home, u'll want to stay there more, tho', huh?   so kaela n' i r applying to live @ this place on hopkins st. in north berkeley.   i have yet to c the place, but kaela sez it's very peaceful.   i want to move.   i want to be able to have ppl over to our place.   i want a place to have friends over to watch videos.   i want to be able to have friends over 4 dinner.   *sigh* "home is where the heart is."

i was so sad yesterday cos i broke my sunglasses.   i was loaded stuff into the trunk of my car as i was leaving werk.   my sunglasses dropped from my shirt collar n' fell on the trunk latch.   i didn't c it fall, n' i slammed the trunk closed.   it wouldn't close, so i tried to shut it again.   then i realised something was obstructing it, n' i found my sunglasses all crunched n' munched out of shape.   *sigh*   i felt so bad!   the beautiful kaela kang gave me those sunglasses, n' they were the nicest 1s i've ever had.   i particularly liked them cos they had polarised lenses, 1s that weren't 2 tinted.   i was so sad as i drove home.   i tried to remind myself it was just a material thing, but they had sentimental value 2 cos kaela gave them to me.

well, i picked up kaela from university hall where she was attending a public health symposium.   we went to the bank n' then met up w/ our white belt students in front of the rsf.   we went to koryo n' had a good dinner.   it was really fun.   21 ppl.   i hope the class hangs out some more.   kaela suggested we go noraebang.   yah, i hope we do that soon.   i really want my class to have a positive experience in taekwondo.   i hope they stick w/ it n' make it a lifelong pursuit.   still i know i can't pressure them 2 hard.

after dinner, kaela n' i went to the big safeway marketplace on broadway.   we bought some groceries.   oh yah! 1 funny thing 'bout dinner last nite was that when we walked into the back room of koryo, the staff of 168 was all sitting @ 1 table eating! funny, huh?   yah, they sed hi to me n' stuff.   neway, after safeway, kaela n' i came home to watch simpsons.   kaela finally saw the pinchy episode that i always told her 'bout.   she's been waiting a long time to c that episode.   i was very happy she got to c it.

man, werk has been so bizzy lately.   i had a long mtg this morning.   every day is so filled @ werk.   we rn't allowed to use the net these days.   i don't get to e.mail friends.   i guess ppl r losing touch w/ me.   sometimes in life it feels i'm trying so hard to "keep up."   i try to keep up @ werk.   i try to keep up w/ taekwondo.   i try to keep up w/ my friends... a different kind of "keep up."   @ werk, i gotta keep bizzy, do my tasks, show that i can come up w/ results, good ideas, finished projects...   in taekwondo, i gotta keep up w/ teaching n' keep myself up; i gotta be able to do new demo techniques, not slack off n' get out of shape.   keepin' up w/ friends: i just wanna know how ppl r doing.   i try to let ppl know how i'm doing via this journal, but some ppl either don't read it or don't feel it's personal 'nuff, i guess.   it's not as personal as a personal e.mail, i guess.   however, i don't have time during the werkday to write personal e.mails.   not only that, i'd get into trouble 4 doing that.   not only that, if i'd fail to keep up @ werk if i spent time writing e.mails, n' then i'd really be in trouble.   *sigh*

during my lunchbreak 2day, after eating a frozen dinner that i spiced up w/ crushed red pepper (leftover packets from round table pizza we had a werk sometime ago), i went to walk 'round the mall a li'l.   i needed to get away from the office 4 a bit.   i looked @ sunglasses.   1s that looked nice didn't have polarised lenses, n' i didn't like the 1s i saw w/ polarised lenses.   i left the mall n' went to get gas.   strage; my car stalled on me 4 no reason when i was stopped @ a light.   weird! it never did that b4.   i hope it's ok.   @ the gas station i checked the oil.   it was a li'l overfilled.   hrm... how did that happen?   maybe it's just cos of a temperature change.   neway, it'll be time 4 'nother oil change soon.

i was so bizzy @ werk 2day.   it was just 1 thing after 'nother.   argh!   by the end of the day i was so jittery.   i don't like leaving werk feeling so anxious.   *sigh* ugh!   well, 2nite, i'm going w/ my white belt students to dinner @ koryo sootbool.   the beautiful kaela kang was kinda surprised i could make reservations in korean.   actually, i was a li'l worried that the hostess'd ask me something, n' i wouldn't know how to say an answer, etc.   but eh.   kaela's been werking hard 2day to help us find an apartment.   i wish i could help, but dang... 2day was so bizzy.   it sure doesn't help that i don't have interent @ werk these days.   argh!   i had 'nother roadrunner burrito 4 lunch 2day.   oh, didju know? every 10th 1 is free.   i'm on 6 now.   i think i'll take a break from burritos, if i can.   it's just that there's not much spicy fud in corte madera.   what i want 4 lunch: spicy fud @ a place where i'm ok eating alone.   'member, i don't like going to sitdown places alone.

yesterday i had such a bizzy day.   i rushed from werk to berkeley, picked up the beautiful kaela kang from werk, dropped her off @ home, drove to joshuya, tried to find parking, failed to find parking, drove back home, parked the car, n' walked to joshuya.   i was really nervous 'bout being late to the uc open committee head dinner mtg.   i dunno why, but i was extremely nervous.   why?   i guess it was just the hectic day @ werk, it just made me so jittery.   i had a mtn dew on the way to sf n' a diet pepsi w/ my lunch.   i think i was caffeine.crashing.   we had such a good dinner @ joshuya: sushi, sashimi, teriyaki, soup, banchan stuff, tempura... i was still sorta nervous when i got there, n' i ate really fast; so i got full fast.   we gave our reports.   we had burthday cake 4 kevin cos his b.day is coming up.   it was laura's actual b.day, but she's so shy 'bout these things.   dr. min was so happy my mom put an ad in the program.   we went over time n' were so late 4 demo team practice.   i took johnny n' raymond back to my place.   we got kaela n' drove to the rsf.   we had a short but somewhat productive practice 4 the upcoming eggster demo.   i didn't practice much cos i was still so full.   i worry that i don't get 'nuff practice or werkout these days.   u know how i am: i've been worrying if i've hit my physical peak.   then i think 'bout all the taekwondo masters that r much older than me but can do all sortsa crazy things n' have so much endurance, flexibility, n' agility.   i dunno.   often during taekwondo practice i'm teaching or organising stuff, so i don't get as much of a werkout these days.   somehow i'm s'pposed to do that during some other time, u know?   if only i didn't werk during the day...

i was really stressed driving to werk this morning.   i really resented having to drive from berkeley to corte madera.   it felt like punishment.   i had a really bizzy morning.   even tho' no1 was really pressuring me, i felt stressed n' depressed... n' sleepy.   the day got better after lunch.   i ate a chicken n' steak burrito from roadrunner: 2 animals in 1 burrito!   i ate there.   the restaurant was very bizzy.   i planned on going to the mall afterwards, but then i changed my mind.   i went back to the office n' walked to the creek.   i saw all these li'l lizards.   they were eating bugs like earwigs n' ants.   i don't think they like ants as much as earwigs, but when an ant crawled on the lizard n' crawled near the lizard's mouth, the lizard quickly ate it.   this 1 particular, bigger lizard stared @ me 4 a long time.   'twas really tame n' curious 'bout me or something.   in fact, 2 of them were like that.   hrm... it sorta reminded me of those li'l, carnivorous dinosaurs in jurassic park.   i liked watching the lizards n' was glad that they weren't afraid of me.

i had a very funpacked, full weekend.   weekends like this make me feel alive.   on fri, after i finished my werk, i quickly brought my snowboard into my office to make some adjustments w/ tools here.   it's nice to be a mechanical engineer.   then i took off 4 berkeley to pick up the beautiful kaela kang.   i knew that there was a traffic jam on the richmond bridge right b4 i saw it cos i heard it from the "tell me more" fon info service.   i like these automated fon info services like "tell me more" n' yahoo! by fon.   not bad.   i also checked the tahoe weather.   it took me a long time to get to berkeley.   luckily we already packed the car in the morning.   i'm glad.   i talked to jerome on the fon on the way to berkeley, used my handsfree kit.   this dang startac gives me probs.   the handsfree unit werks fine, but the normal speaker on the fon sometimes doesn't werk.   ken sez it thinks it's in speakerfon mode.   neway, i picked up kaela n' we took off on the road to tahoe.   we stopped in pinole 4 in-n-out.   it was full of high skool kids.   we got on the road n' just drove n' drove.   we stopped somewhere in sactown to get gas, use the restroom, n' buy some drinks n' snacks.   i ate my cold in-n-out burger there.   when we got to the mtns, wow! i was so glad to have my subaru.   yah, there were chain restrictions n' the road was crazy!   the snow was coming down pretty consistently n' w/ a good amt of wind.   i drove really slow cos the snow was very distracting, almost hypnotising.   i guess if i were a local i'd be used to it, but i played it safe rather than sorry.   i was really glad to have my new all terrain tires.   phew, i got them just in time!   well, we checked into our room in tahoe.   it was an ok place, not all that great.   i'd like to tell aaa that it doesn't deserve the 3 diamond rating.   neway, i was just glad to be indoors, somewhere warm.   we watched a program 'bout martial arts on the discovery channel.

sat, we got up, watched some animal planet, n' got ready to go out.   we checked out n' had our complimentary continental breakfast.   we got on the road, but there was such a delay cos of the chain check.   'gain i was so glad to have my subaru n' new tires.   we finally made it to sierra@tahoe a li'l b4 noon.   we boarded 4 'bout 3 hrs.   we boarded over so much fresh powder.   i practiced powder riding.   i figure it's like surfing the snow.   i started thinking... wow, if i ever had to snowboard in the real wilderness, then i'd be boarding over powder, i figure.   i've always been more into freestyle than freeriding or backcountry, but i just thought 4 a sec, u know? if snowboarding is @ all a survival skill... i mean, if i had to snowboard to survive, i'd be going over powder... n' maybe thru trees n' stuff.   it was a much different experience boarding this weekend than the last trip.   on our last run, i had to board blindfolded... well, that's what it was like, my goggles had fogged up, n' it was snowing hard on us, so i couldn't c nething.   i just had to trust myself, feel the snow, n' hope i didn't run into ne1.   i went much slower than i normally would, but i made it back to the lodge.   'twas only 300p, but we knew we had to drive thru snow back home.   'gain better safe than sorry, so we packed up n' started on our slow, steady drive back home.   we stopped in placerville 4 taco bell.   then we stopped in dixon 4 gas.   then we got home 'round 700p.   wow, what a full day!   i called up jerome n' asked him what we could do that nite.   well, we 168ed: jerome, laura, joon, andy, kaela, n' i.   then we went back to jerome n' andy's place n' watched toy story 2 on andy's new psx2.

sun, we had taekwondo practice.   i tutored my white belts.   we went home, n' i got ready to go to milpitas w/ jerome.   i brought w/ me a microwaved healthy choice french bread pizza n' a green tea snapple elements.   jerome bought a new v8160 fon.   it's a very kewl fon.   we talked to ken's employee romeo.   on our way back up 880, we stopped @ krispy kreme in union city.   then we came back up to berkeley.   that nite, kaela n' i brought some veggies over to jerome n' andy's, n' we cooked pasta 4 them n' laura.   we ate n' watched a bug's life, 'gain on andy's psx2.   every1's watching dvds these days, eh?

2day i had a bizzy day.   i went to sf to do werk in the sf office.   wow, i haven't been there in a long time!   i sorta miss that neighbourhood.   lemme tell u, marin cty v. laurel heights, sf: they're both these upper crusty, rich, white areas... (which isn't a bad thing, i'm just pting out the truth) but i think maybe i like laurel heights better.   sometime last week, i started thinking i'm really annoyed w/ marin cty ppl.   maybe 'twas while i was @ the bank or something, waiting in line.   well, it's pretty obvious that marin county is just way 2 conservative of an environment 4 me... granted it's 'least still in the state of cali4nia, n' in the bay area nonetheless.   man, 'least i don't live in ol' hangtown placerville, right?   i went to the cal mart deli w/ a coupl'a chemists to get sandwiches.   i introduced 1 guy to dutch crunch bread.   i had roasted turkey on dutch crunch.   i used to get that so often.   i realised something 2day.   sf is the place i werked while i was a single guy.   when i was w/ vivian, i werked @ ebmud.   then vivian n' i broke up, n' i quit ebmud n' took the job in sf.   then i moved to corte madera.   then kaela got 2gether w/ me.   so all that time that i was werking in sf, i was single.   @ the same time, kaela visited me in sf, 'member?   that's cos 4 a while i was going into sf every fri.   i used to eat @ pancho's tacqueria so often.   i liked walking 'round the streets of sf, 'round laurel heights, on clement st., up n' down geary, all the way to usf, over to polk st., over almost to van ness to whole fuds...   man, i walked 'lot!   'member when i used to get my oil changed @ jiffy lube on van ness?   ah, i 'member werking in sf...   it's funny how time flies, huh?   2day was a beautiful day in sf.   i gotta 'member that those were scarce.   so many days were really foggy n' gloomy in laurel heights.   true.   'member how i'd drop off jeff in the financial? it'd be nice n' sunny.   then i'd drive over nob hill n' beyond to laurel heights n' it'd be cloudy!   'member?   my corte madera office has ducks nearby.   in sf, i didn't c ducks.

i can't believe joon deleted all his html files when he took down his cafe website.   he shoulda saved the files.   however, he sed he wanted a fresh start.   oh well.   yesterday, after werk, i picked the kaela kang up from dwinelle in her kia.   we had a hard time finding parking @ the rsf.   we had to park so far, down past the tang center.   'course that's rather lazy of me to consider that far, huh?   back in the day, i used to walk to practice all the time.   *sigh* well, nowadays, i have an excuse: i gotta come from werk n'd be late if i parked @ home n' walked.   still sometimes finding parking takes a long time, so it rivals to the time it takes to walk from home.   after parking, we went to practice.   i taught some, n' then sungjae came to teach some.   then master yoon came in to give our class a pop quiz.   yah, i know my class does sparring kicks 'lot n' needs to focus now on testing material.   i've only taught white belts n' yellow belts.   i wonder what it'd be like to teach green/blue.   after practice n' a small demo team practice, i had to go pick up my subaru from the shop.   kaela drove me to albany, then took off to get us a table @ 168.   when we got home, we started packing 4 tahoe.   we're leaving to tahoe as soon as i leave werk.

phil told me he wrote a long letter to me; but his laptop crashed, n' he lost the letter.   why does that happen so much?   don'tchu hate that?   lemme tell u... i suggest writing ur e.mails w/ ms notepad... it's just text, u know.   then cut n' paste that text into ur e.mail program.   oh! n' definitely 'member to save every few minutes!

[later] i brought my snowboard into the office to fix my front binding's ankle strap buckle.   fixed it.   kewl.   now all set.   let's go!   oh, why did i title 2day's entry "chuhngbaji"   oh yah, while sitting in front of a microscope machine @ werk, i looked down @ my jeans n' realised they're so worn out now.   here's a li'l known, durty secret 'bout beno: he tends to wear the same pair of jeans over n' over n' over... uhm... w/o washing them 2 often...   they're just so com4table that way, right?   plus i prefer darker jeans, so i don't want my jeans to fade...   1 winter break, while i was interning @ ebmud, i wore the same pair of jeans every single day! can u believe that?!   oh! n' i didn't wash them 4 the whole break!   eeew, huh?   oh well... *sigh*   maybe i should go shopping 4 a new pair of favourite jeans.   these r starting to get holes in the cuff area.   oh yah, i bought these jeans 4 $5! ha ha ha.   i had some free $25 gift certificate to structure, n' they were on sale 4 $30.   that was uhm... 3 yrs 'go?   nuts, huh?   maybe it's time to shop 4 a new pair of jeans, but i dunno how i'll give up wearing these.   u know how it is, right?   some ppl have some favourite pair of athletic shoes.   i don't wear athletic shoes much.   i usually do taekwondo barefooted, altho' i do have taekwondo shoes 2.   i don't wear them 'round place, tho'.

how r u 2day?   i always think it's funny when i c a crow stand in a crowd of li'l blackburds.   it's as if the crow is just a mutant amongst the blackburds.   i ate a roadrunner burrito 4 lunch yesterday.   i bought 1 4 me n' 1 4 my cowerker chris.   he sed he couldn't leave the office, so i sed i could go get lunch n' bring it back.   i liked going out to get lunch.   i'm glad i've been getting out of the office 4 lunch lately.   however, 'member? i was saving $$$ by eating frozen dinners.   i wish there were more eating places w/in walking distance of my office.   it's a nice situation here but less than ideal.   i wish i could werk in berkeley.   2day i drove the beautiful kaela kang's kia to werk.   last nite, i dropped my subaru off @ albany ford subaru 4 service.   they're gonna wash it when they're done.   that's nice.   kaela came to pick me up from the dealer, n' we went to eat @ katanaya ramen.   we had a big dinner.   the sushi is very good there n' not all that expensive compared to other places.   i think i should consider going there more often.   i guess we go there relatively often.   it's crowded tho'.   i guess other ppl realise it's a pretty good restaurant.   after dinner, we went grocery shopping @ albany safeway.   i saw rock star matt easton standing in the checkout line.   i pted him out to kaela.   even rock stars go grocery shopping.

do u realise it's asian.pacific.american heritage month?   it's april.   we should be celebrating asian.pacific.american heritage!   what's wrong w/ us?!   *sigh* well, how can i go 'bout doing that?   what can i do?   i deal w/ asian stuff so often that isn't every day an apa heritage day?   well, let's not take it 4granted.   asian culture is very important to me.   i'd hate to be taken away from it.

i really'd like a new apt.   i need space to set up all my deejay equipment, so i can play w/ it.   i don't like having the lid on my coffin.   it should be open.   it's not right.   i never have time to search thoroughly 4 an apt.   i never have time to go actually look @ apts.; i just browse ehousing.   i had to pay $45 to renew my acct.   hrm... actually, i c some good potentials on 2day's list; some really good potentials.   man, i hope we can find a place!   as u know, we don't want to pay over $1000, but since we almost must, maybe we'll pay up to like $1200... 'least that's what i'm thinking... i'm talking hard limit, nuthin' over.   there is stuff.   if only i didn't werk all the way in frickin' corte madera, i could go look @ it.   i wish i could take time off werk to go apt hunting.   'course we're going to tahoe this fri-sat.   i want to go.   k, u might think that's frivolous, n' that if i cut stuff like that out, then i'd be better off, huh? i could go apt hunting on sat, etc...   *sigh* 2 bad. i'm gonna go.   i'll be careful.   i know it's this need.4.adventure behaviour that got me into trouble 2 yrs 'go when i crashed my car.   yah, i know.   i know it'll snow this weekend in tahoe.   i'll be careful.   that's why i got my new tires mounted.   i thought i'd get the tires mounted, then there'd be no snow 4 months.   i've been wearing my new solomon snow clogs 'round the sunny bay area.   i bought them cos they were cheap, n' i like how they look.   they r com4table.   i thought i'd start wearing them now, but then they'd be all worn down by the time i saw snow 'gain.   i thought the same'd go 4 my new tires.   however, it looks like i'll c snow soon 'nuff.   i wouldn't mind staying the whole weekend, but we have taekwondo practice on sun.   i don't mind, of course.   u know i like doing taekwondo.

could i be a better person?   could i be a happier person?   would i be happier being a better person, or would i be happier being a worse person?   would i be better being a happier person, or would i be worse being a happier person?   i look around @ the friends i c the most.   i think they're mostly concerned w/ relationship, skool/career, n' taekwondo.   sometimes there're other issues tho', like religion/spirituality n' family matters.   it's 2 bad owen doesn't play in a band nemore cos he's a great guitarist, really!   he used to be in that band paper planes.   'member? back in 1998/1999, i used to go watch them now n' then.   err... maybe i saw them only 2ice. oh yah. owen's really talented.   after getting his b.a. in psych from cal, he started getting his 2nd b.a. in art from the sf academy of art.   andy wang, he also goes there.   after getting his b.a. in integrated bio (ib) from cal, he started earning his masters in art. all these talented ppl...

do i look as bad as i feel i look?   somehow each day i go to werk, n' i feel like somehow i must of put on mismatching clothes or something.   i feel like i coulda done something better in the morning to look nicer.   self.conscious? vain?   no, i think it's more self.conscious.   like, i feel i really look sloppy these days.   what am i doing wrong?   am i just dressing sloppily? 2 casually 4 my job?   do i need a haircut?   i do wish i could get the sides n' back zeroed.   there's never time 4 that.   where did i ever find time b4?   maybe my hair's sloppy.   society wants me to look bad, tho', right?   engineers r s'pposed to be nerds that can't dress, can't get a decent haircut, this, that.   is that how's it s'pposed to be?   well, to that, i defintely say a big "phuc dat!"   @ the same time, i'm not doing much to subvert the dominant paradigm here, am i? oh, phooey!   i got a david's tacqueria burrito @ lunch n' walked 'round that outdoor mall.   that's 3 burrito lunch days in a row; what do i win?

like most ppl, i dislike talking to rude, unpleasant customer service reps over the fon.   i really don't like those customer service reps that sound all annoyed, have a condescending attitude, n' make no effort to help u like their company.   i think we should take all of these rude, unpleasant customer service reps n' do bad things to them.   they don't make this world a better place.   if ne1 deserves to be attacked by a doggy, i think it's them.   i don't like netlag.   i don't like traffic jams.   i don't like traffic jams caused by construction.   i don't like having a sugary aftertaste in my mouth after drinking cola.   i don't like not being able to find something i'm looking for on my desk @ werk.   i don't like losing $$$ on the stock market.   i don't like having to fix my car.   i don't like it when rain gets into my shoe n' soaks my socks.   i don't like getting zits.   i don't like getting rashes.   i don't like spilling or dropping fud or drink on my clothes or in my car or apt.   i don't like mosquito bites or other bug bites.   i don't like getting sick.   i don't like not finding parking.   i don't like having to squeez into small parking spots n' worry that my car'll get dinged.

wow, this is very negative.   let's think 'bout stuff i like.   i like the beautiful kaela kang.   i like burdies, including ducks, geese, coots, n' other waterfowl; mourning doves; sparrows; blue jays; budgies; luvburds; parrotlets; penguins; cockatiels; magpies; robins; chickens... all sorts of burds.   i like drinking clean h2o.

owen, thanks 4 signing my g.book.   i dunno if owen read this, but i guess he did visit my site, 'least.   i got an e.mail from my cousin lisa yesterday.   she's getting married this june.   i've known this 4 a while.   funny, the weekend b4, i'll be w/ kaela's relatives 4 her halabuhji's b.day.   then kaela'll be w/ my relatives.   funny, huh?   lots'a relatives!   june'll be a bizzy month, huh?   i'm looking 4ward to this summer.   i have a feeling it'll be a fun summer, more fun than last summer.   it's not like last summer was bad by ne means, but i think it wasn't what ppl expected after the summer of 1999.   "sunny days, everything's a.ok."   i gotta pay rent soon.   i'd better not 4get.

phil wrote an e.mail to me on sun.   i really haven't received many personal e.mails lately.   i haven't been able to do much e.mail.   most e.mails i receive r 'bout taekwondo bizness.   i replied to phil's e.mail 2day.   these days, since the sun stays up later, i mistakenly feel like i'm leaving werk earlier, but i'm not.   i'll leave thinking i've got time, but then i'll be almost late to practice.   that's bad.   i don't like staying @ werk late.   like i always say; i wish i could werk somewhere in berkeley, somewhere close.   wish, wish, wish.   maybe i'm getting sick of the 580 commute, altho' it's much nicer than the bay bridge commute.   maybe i'm sick of carnage road.   i dunno.   here's something phil sed in his e.mail: ['bout law skool] Even though it's not like undergrad, it is school, and even though we work hard, it's not "work", and i don't have to look over my shoulder when I write email or download MP3s or check out kaela.com (j/k -- april fool's).   that's right... wouldn't it be nice to write e.mails n' dl mp3s during the day w/o thinking my bosses'll get on my case?   true... but that's werk!   2nite i'll drop my car off @ albany ford subaru to have them mount my 4 new tires n' give my car a 4 wheel alignment.   car maintenance costs me $$$.   maybe i'll do some grocery shopping 2nite.   these r things necessary in life.   yah, maybe it sounds a li'l domestic, but what do u want from me?   i gotta do the things i need to do to survive day to day.   hrm... i might as well cut n' paste a quote from my e.mail back to phil: that sounds a li'l domestic.   unlike so many ppl we know, i never had 2 much of a yearning to travel the world while young, to skrew (or i mean, "make love to") all sortsa foreign women.   i never had that need.   why is it that it cms that many ppl r like that tho?   it cms like society thinks i'm weird 4 not wanting to live in europe 4 a yr.   to me that just sounds like a different venue 4 doing the same idling.   why travel to the other side of the globe just to be as useless as u r right here?   i'd like to be useful.   i like feeling useful.   that's just my egotism.

every morning i drive 580w to werk.   i c so much roadkill.   1 morning i think a bunch of chickens fell out of a truck.   there were dead chickens all over the road.   i felt really bad.   altho' i eat chicken all the time; these chickens died 4 no good use.   2day, i think i saw the remains of a big dog.   isn't that sad?   i think a big dog must've fallen out of a pickup truck n' got ripped into a few pieces.   it was nasty.   also on sir francis drake blvd., my exit off of 580w, i c dead wildlife all the time.   most often, i c dead skunks.   i also often c dead deer.   it's gross.   let's stop talking 'bout this.

so i found out our company's dsl provider was a subcontractor of northpoint communications.   apparently this big company went down n' skrewed many biznesses nationwide.   the beautiful kaela kang fwded me a ny times article 'bout this.   it described this incident as the 1st big failure of a broadband communications company.   hrm... so ppl r questioning what this implies 'bout the future of the broadband revolution.   eh! look @ me; i don't have dsl @ home.   i don't care either.   i don't want dsl @ home right now.   i have a simple 56k modem, n' i dial into kaela's uc annex acct.   i think this is fine.   u know what i think? i think employers should offer dial.in internet access or dsl connection or whatever as an employee benefit!   don'tchu think so?

sometimes, i think i should totally overhaul my webpage soon.   i gotta post new pics, no doubt.   i also ponder just plain revamping stuff.   eh, i dunno when i'll ever find time to do this tho'.   man... i'd also like to get back to doing musik stuff, djing stuff.   rosie hsueh asked me to dj her wedding.   i dunno... i haven't been djing lately, what can i say?   i mean, it's not till august.   i could be ready by then; but i wonder if i will be.   why can't i just werk on my djing stuff all day? ha! *sigh*

[later] last nite was a chill practice.   many ppl just plain didn't show up, but i werked w/ those who did.   we just kicked paddles 4 the whole time.   still that's good 4 the coloured belts cos they need to clean up their kicks 4 their tests.   it's good 4 the test n' 4 demos.   afterwards, johnny, kaela, n' i had dinner @ thai noodle.   i was cold n' worried i was getting sick.   i'll drink lots of h2o.   [later] i had lunch @ the mall, bought a grande burrito from the la salsa in the fud ct.   i walked 'round a li'l.

hey readers, lemme ask u.   do u ever fear hanging out w/ on.line journalists/journalers cos u think they'll publish all ur embarassments?   do u worry we'll write 'bout all ur shortcomings?   do u stress over the thought that we might tell the world 'bout how u stripped while drunk, had a shameless fling, got unnecessarily pissed off @ me last nite, got stoned, committed a felony, had a sexual encounter, acted selfishly, gossipped, had a party but purposely didn't invite some1, made a move on some1, kissed some1 of the same sex, bought a surprise b.day present, have a clandestine relationship, got pregnant, got fired, had an affair, failed a class, got a raise, went to church, watched a porno, won the lottery, or had an opinion.   r u afraid i'll tell all?   do u think i'd reveal ur secrets on this on.line journal?   well, shoot... does it take an on.line journal to spread rumours or tattle?   no.   i hope ppl don't worry 'bout things like this.   i hope ppl don't worry i'll post incriminating pix of them on my webpage... not maliciously.   maybe some ppl fear personal webpages as a technological evil.   i don't believe that @ all.   i want ppl to feel they can be themselves around me, tell me whatever they want to tell me.   i'd like ppl to trust me.

[later] it became a chillwindy, semi.blue sky day in corte madera.   earlier 'twas cloudier.   in the morning, fedex delivered my 4 new tires, which i'll have "my friends @ albany ford subaru" mount on thurs.   this weekend was bizzy, 'course.   fri nite, we had our dress rehearsal 4 the big uc open demo.   i got there late cos werk was so bizzy.   oh, i 'lready toldju this! ("beware," 30 march, 2001)   the uc open went fine.   w/ each yr, i usually stress a li'l less as a committee head.   johnny was stressed but did a great job.   the beautiful kaela kang compete n' got 2 bronze medals 4 poomsae n' sparring.   i didn't compete, just werked.   i put volunteers in jobs.   i bought fud 4 the volunteers.   i drove jimmy kim's parents to their hotel.   i tried to be helpful wherever i could.   i missed kaela's 1st fight.   i really wanted to c it!   i was so proud to c my white belts win their poomsae divisions, beating out yellow belts.   efren was the hero of the day, winning the men's black belt lightweight division volunteers partied @ kip's afterwards.   i have many receipts, n' i need reimbursements.

sun, kaela n' i planned to go to san jo to pick up some summer clothes.   sam called me in the morning.   we needed to drive 2 professors to the airport: professor yongchin pak from iowa state n' professor lee seunghoon from kyungmoondae.   they interrogated us in korean 'bout career n' marriage.   still i think it's fun to drive vips cos they have fun stories.   afterwards, we drove south.   we dimsummed @ joy luck place.   we ran into webjournalist carol liao n' her pal al.   since they sed joy luck place had a long wait, we got a number, then went to fantasia to get drinks.   we went back to joy luck place, n' found out we were late.   the hostess found us seats right away.   we ordered way 2 much fud.   we walked 'round the mall, but there wasn't much interesting to c, just fud.   then we went to valley fair.   i was amazed w/ the addition!   wow, it's a much bigger mall.   i started to get depressed tho' cos it cmed like everything was so expensive.   seriously, i really got depressed.   it made me stress 'bout finances n' career n' everything.   i started thinking if i've made the right choices in life careerwise...   c, earlier professor lee asked me in korean if i was going to be an engineering professor.   i hesitated, n' he asked in english "engineer?"   so i sed yes to that, that i was an engineer, but he probably thought i was saying yes, i'm going to be an engineering professor.   really, i'm not.   i started thinking, later, that afternoon, tho', what if i had majored in something else?   maybe i woulda gone on to grad skool n' on to become a professor.   what if i had majored in anthropology, studying folklore?   what colour is my parachute?   i started to get really depressed.   neway, we went home n' got kaela's summer clothes.   there, i realised that i never brought my summer clothes to san jo; they're all sitting in boxes in my hallway in berkeley.   grace n' steve were home.   we didn't stay long; we went back up 4 andy's belated b.day party, a small gathering where we gave him his present, a psx2.   we got fud from party sushi n' watched iron gian.   i'd already cn it; 'twas the 1st p.crew event after i got back from korea.

i had a really bizzy day @ werk 2day.   it was a good kind of bizzy that made me feel appreciated n' accomplished.   u know tho', i wish i had a job that was in berkeley, where i could walk to werk...   wouldn't that be great?   it'd be better 4 the environment 2.   i paid off my credit card bills.   i knew i spent a bunch in february, but looking @ the bill still shocked me.   simplify, man!   neway, i had a good day @ werk.   i ate 4 noah's bagels thru.out the day.

i was listening to my ivy megamix 3 cd on my way to werk.   i heard their fake version of britney speares's "lucky."   yah, the cover singer has a bit of a korean accent, huh?   "if there's nothing missing in my life, then why do these tears come at night?"   is there something missing in ur life?   think 'bout life, folks.   u gotta think 'bout life.   u gotta think 'bout whatchu appreciate n' whatchu want.   i'm happy to have kaela, to have my current situation in life, to have a paying job, to be able to do taekwondo @ nite, to be able to have fun on some weekends, go out do extravagant things... some of u might think i'm pretty materialistic, maybe hedonistic.   u think i wipe my butt w/ $100 bills n' then complain 'bout how i gotta werk to get more toilet paper.   i know that's whatchu think; i know ur type!   ha.   neway, did i ask u to think 'bout my life?   i asked u to think 'bout ur life.   me... i know i lack a spiritual maturity that i hope to sort out someday.   some things just take time.   "it takes a li'l time sometimes."   andy's an amy grant fan.   that is the title of the only amy grant song i heard played on alice 97.3.   i saw troy garr wear a hat on sat that sed "yonggi" in hangeul.   personally, i don't wear stuff like that, but yah... courage is important.   i guess i saw troy's hat cos he was coaching efren's opponent, huh?

[later] as i drove over the richmond/san rafael bridge, i could c white crests of waves in the bay water.   i 4got how the bay looks when i drove home while the sun is still up.   i really don't 'member much of how that's like...   i sorta 'member how it was like to drive home over the bay bridge during the evening commute while the sun was still up.

"beware the ides of march," ppl who try to quote shakespeare say.   well, it's the end of march now, so the ides have been long over.   2day i came into werk 'round 1000a, n' my manager asked me, "what do u consider ur hours?"   oh boy... so i sed, "well, usually 930a to 630p, but sometimes it ends up 1000a to 700p."   i dunno what else i could've sed @ that pt.   all i know is i really gotta beware of elmo now.   elmo sure is the bearer of doom.   *sigh*   2day is uc open eve.   ppl'll be very bizzy setting up 4 the uc open.   they'll be moving mats from the martial arts room to haas pavilion.   man... i can't believe joon's cafe page is down now.   yes, i hope he gets an ocf page.   i can't believe i'm netwerkless @ werk. *sigh* i got lotsa uc open biz to take care of, which includes e.mailing all sorts of ppl n'... i gotta make a reservation @ kip's.   i don't know their fon number.   i need to find jerome to c if he's taking care of the volunteer pizza like sam sed he is doing, but i'm not so sure 'bout that cos jerome's not in town.   hoo boy. man, oh man.

[later] the beautiful kaela kang came to visit me in corte madera, n' i took her to lunch @ the new cpk (california pizza kitchen) nearby.   we had a tricoloré salad n' a portabello chicken pizza.   the salad was like a salad pizza; it had weed salad atop a thin pizza crust w/ tons of parmesan cheese all over it.   i usually don't eat much parmesan cheese.   back in the days when i was a fat kid, i used lotsa parmesan cheese on my pizza n' pasta, but now i avoid it.   instead, i use lotsa crushed red pepper n' hot sauce.   hot fud's better than fattening fud.   i talked to jerome during lunch on my cellfon, n' we got the pizza situation straightened out.   jerome's helping me out quite a bit.   that's good.   i think jerome's still planning to compete @ the uc open, right?   i think so.   i also still gotta make a reservation @ kip's 4 the afterparty.   man, there'll be lotsa pizza 2morrow.   pizza 4 the volunteers during the day, pizza 4 the kip's party.   i wonder what matt's planning to feed the refs!   hrm...   i hope johnny's giving me a parking pass.   neway, 'nuff talk 'bout uc open.

i can't believe it feels so much like spring/summer.   the weather is gorgeous.   i just don't want all the tahoe snow to melt.   man, that last snowtrip was very fun.   oh! so yah, yesterday, i drove my cowerker, her husband, n' their 2 hong kong guests from corte madera to the berkeley bart station.   i felt a li'l bad just dropping them off @ bart instead of driving them all the way to walnut creek n' concord, but man... i really didn't have the time to do that.   their car accident was caused by a stoned guy rear ending them n' causing a li'l pile up.   i recommend having good insurance n' joining aaa.   [later] it's fri, but it sure doesn't feel like fri cos i have so much stuff to do @ werk, so many assignments.   it'd be nice just to go out n' hang w/ the ducks, feed the ducks.   i wish i werked closer to berkeley.

[later] i was thinking... some ppl say that teletubbies is bad 4 kids cos they just speak gibberish, babytalk, so kids don't learn new stuff.   instead, they get stoopider.   so... do u think it's bad 4 us to watch sesame street in the morning?   maybe we'll get stoopider?   i hope not.   neway... demo rehearsal n' uc open prep flew by, n' we ate pho @ 99 ranch afterwards, a whole bunch'a us: jason, joon, efren, garth, brandie, bruce, jerome, raymond, johnny, kaela, n' me.   gotta keep up w/ the young'uns! what an evening... i got to demo practice late cos i stayed @ werk so late... man... werk... werk is is 4 old farts! heh... *sigh* but gotta pay the bills...

yesterday, @ the end of my journal entry, i sed i'd write more, but i didn't.   no time, u know?   man, i'm sorry that my journal entries lately have just been rattlingoffs of what i've been doing.   well, i guess i've just been bizzy then.   yesterday, i had a bizzy day @ werk.   then it took me a long time to get home thru the big, big traffic jam.   i planned to go werkout @ the rsf, but i ran out of time.   i got home really late n' exhausted.   i picked the beautiful kaela kang up from the rsf, n' she took me to dinner @ party sushi.   then we did grocery shopping @ safeway.   i fell asleep really early last nite.   i also fell asleep early on tues nite.   these days, i wake up early in the morning cos the indirect sunlite comes in thru my window.   my window doesn't get direct sunlite.   if u open my bedroom window blinds, u c a wall.   it's such a bad view.   u might even say it's a pretty useless window.   i wake up early, but then i usually doze a li'l more.   i have lotsa dreams in the morning these days.   i 4get, but 1nce i had a pretty bad nitemare.   i 4get what it was 'bout tho'.   i 'member, in 1 dream, i went into josh's room.   i saw that he had a fridge in his room.   i bet he really does, since he never comes out of his room nemore.   i know he has his a 2nd television in there...   i don't get it.   why didn't he just move his original tv from the living room to his bedroom?   u know, i never mentioned this, but 1 nite a long time 'go, i saw that josh accidentally left his car trunk open.   i knew that some1 could easily steal stuff from it n' even break into his car thru it.   i dunno... i felt like i had to close it, even tho' josh is so nasty to us n' stuff... so i closed it 4 him.   i don't believe in karma or nething like that, but i know ppl like s.mike'd say i had to do that cos of karma.   hmm... but i just felt it was the right thing to do... i dunno.   neway, that was a long time 'go.   neway, i fall asleep early these days, n' wake up early.   there's light outside when i wake up.   when i get out of bed, i turn on kqed on the tv to try to wake kaela up.   usually, clifford the big red dog is on.   then sesame street comes on.   if the "elmo's world" segment of sesame street comes on, then we know we're really late.   sesame street sure is a fun show.   i wonder how ppl get to become producers 4 kids' television programming.   it looks like such a fun job.   why can't i be a kids' tv show producer?   what does it take?   maybe ppl who r really educated in child psychology do it?   how does the guy who plays mr. noodle on "elmo's world" get that role?   what would i need to do to get to write scripts 4 sesame street?

[later] it's such a nice day in corte madera.   kaela came to visit me.   i showed her our worm dataset... we imaged a li'l worm, made a blown up 3d image of it.   by worm, i mean the kind of worm that lives in ppl's intestines, a parasitic worm.   i took kaela to lunch @ dragonfly café n' jazz bar.   'member i went there a while back w/ my cowerkers.   lunch was pretty good, altho' our waiter was 4 some reason really clumsy.   it was like he was nervous or something.   maybe he was new.   what did we eat? we shared a chinese chicken salad n' then had lunch specials: kaela had chile prawns, n'si had twin shroom garlic chicken.   we were so stuffed!   i wish i had time 4 us to walk 'round the mall, but i had to get back to werk.   oh, b4 we left 4 dragonfly, we saw a female duck just standin' 'round in my office's parking lot.   it just stood there, so unafraid.   kaela discussed w/ me our travel plans over the memorial day weekend 4 kaela's grandpa's b.day party down south.   i still wanna try to save up vacation time 4 later this summer.

oh, so the netwerk is down @ werk... 'pparently the dsl provider went out of bizness w/o warning ne1.   man, what a lousy company!   wow, i can't check e.mail or nething on the net.   i gotta install eudora on my home 'puter n' download my e.mail from ocf.   i have like some 1600 msgs!   i'm so lazy.   i wonder if the managers think that a netwerk outage'll actually improve productivity cos ppl won't skrew 'round surfing the net n' writing e.mails, etc.   well, i know i need to use the web 4 definitely werk.related stuff.   'course, like ne1 else, i want to check my personal e.mail 2.   yesterday, i bought tires on.line.   they'll be shipped to my office.   i hope no1 minds.   i'll bring them into "my friends" @ albany ford subaru to have them mount them.

so what else is up?   i dunno... it's weird that i haven't practice taekwondo since sun, huh?   i don't wanna make this a habit 'course.   i gotta be ready 4 the uc open demo on sat.   i need to take care of volunteer biz 2.   i hope that goes well.   yes, 'twas nice to eat dinner @ a normal hour last nite instead of late @ nite.   yes, 'twould be nice if i could practice taekwondo earlier, get out earlier, n' eat dinner earlier.   however, if taekwondo had an earlier skedule, it'd conflict w/ my werk skedule.   man, i used to werk 700a-430p n' skip every other fri @ ebmud.   w/ that kind of skedule, i could practice taekwondo earlier, get out earlier, n' eat earlier.   i'd love to werk closer to berkeley.   heh, neway, w/ the market as awful as it is, most ppl wouldn't want to think 'bout job hoppin' right now, right?   i can't even check the stock market right now cos i don't have net connection @ werk.   ha. maybe i'm better off not knowing.   what was life like back when i was an ebmud intern?   what did i do after werk since i had no homewerk?   hrm... well, back then i practiced taekwondo only 2 nites a week n' on sun afternoons.   ppl just practiced less then, on avg.   these cal taekwondo kids these days don't realise how much better the program is these days.   well, it's definitely so much more intense.   well, back then, maybe i practiced taekwondo 2 nites a week, but i still went n' did butt gallery cardio stuff on offnites.   what else?   hrm... well, back then i was going out w/ vivian.   i prob'l hung out w/ toby n' phil more back then.   phil... so we saw phil on sun morn b4 taekwondo practice.   we only hung w/ him 4 a short while tho'.   i gave him back his camera, which joon had 4 a long time.   someday, this summer, i wanna take kaela up to the top of mt. tam n' out to pt. reyes n' the oyster farm.   man... nestea is 2 sweet, 2 much sugar; but it's the only drink we have in our office fridge.   maybe i should just drink tap h2o instead.   i wanna go to tahoe next weekend, april 7 weekend...   i gotta tell marie to reskedule the party she wants to put on, if she can.   she asked me to dj, n' i'd hate to bail completely.   we'd hafta leave to tahoe on fri nite, n' come back on sat evening, i guess.   maybe we can still do a similar trip on the april 28 weekend 2.   i have no clue when the taekwondo promotional exams r.   they ought to tell me these things since i'm an instructor, n' my students hafta test, n' i gotta test them.   i could assume it's the weekend b4 finals start, but i don't even know when finals start.   wow, time is flying, huh?   soon, it'll be officially spring.   already, it feels like spring.   the sun shines on us.   the blue sky manages to repel clouds.   the air carries fragrances of spring flowers n' plants.   last nite, as we were carrying groceries from northside safeway to my car in the parking lot, i smelled the warm, thick, spring air.   kaela sed it smelled of lavender.   i had a really strong, weird feeling of being mature, simple, n' maybe settled... but settled in an ok way... maybe i'd rather use the wurd @ peace... like i don't mean "settled" like "boring," but "settled" more like in opposition to "chaotic."   i describe my feeling a li'l to kaela.   she laffed cos she sensed my feeling of "settledness" n' thought maybe it was similar to the "settledness" i had in my relationship w/ vivian, where going to target or costco was the highlight of my weekend.   that was an artificial settledness, in a way.   c, when college guys in relationships start acting like they're these old, married guys... it's fake! they're just fooling themselves... 4 no good reason, i might add!   why, @ age 20, 21, etc., act like u'r well into ur 30s/40s n' married?   why not live up ur young yrs n' go clubbing n' stuff?   eh, maybe cos going out is expensive after a while, right?   yah, i've blown tons of $$$ these past 2 months on going out... but honestly... i don't regret it @ all.   sure, u can scold me; but i've had a great time n' feel good.   i get to take a beautiful gurl out to nice places.   i like that.   neway... i was talkin' 'bout young couples that get 2 "settled."   u know, i'm definitely not preaching 'gainst couplehood.   i like ppl to be in relationships, if it's 4 the right reason... which can only be true love.   the #1 bad reason is "just 4 the sake of being in a relationship."   settledness.   'member i don't really like the idea of young couples saying "it's like we're married, but we're not."   i think ppl should get married if they really love each other... 'course then ppl have all sorts of obstacles, like graduating skool, or starting a career or something... hrm... i talk 'lot 'bout relationships, huh?   well, i'm sure some of u that know me know that i consider relationships very important in life.   lemme tell u... i guess 'lot of that has to do w/ how my parents r divorced.   i'd never want to get divorced.   thus i think 2 things r very, very important in life: 1) finding the right person n' 2) making the right relationship werk.   heh. 'course cynics'll scoff cos that's what cynics do.

yah, i always talk 'bout relationships.   maybe some ppl find that frivolous.   u know, like i say i like drama movies the best, specifically 1s that deal w/ personal relationships etc... so basically, i guess i like romantic dramas the best.   'course i also like comedy, action, martial arts, sci.fi, n' horror movies... the movies i don't have much interest in r those political dramas.   i'll watch them cos i know some r academy award material, but i'm just not all that interested.   like, i know 13 days is s'pposed to be good, n' if i have a chance i'll watch it, but it's not something i'm that interested in.   i watched quiz show n' knew it was a good movie, but i can't say i loved it.   do u 'member what l.a. confidential was 'bout? i 4get.   how 'bout all these courtroom drama movies? eh, yah, i know some r good movies, but eh.   movies 'bout family life or growing up... yah, they're sometimes ok.   sometimes, i wonder what inspires a filmmaker to make a movie?   i guess sometimes it's like an experiment: what if this situation happened, what would happen?   i 'member some bad 80s movie called wildcats where goldie hawn was a female pro football coach.   so some1 prob'l thought, "what if there was a female football coach?"   n' then making a movie 'bout that situation'd be sorta like running an experiment.   then 'gain, sometimes ppl prob'ly make movies in order to convey their opinions on a matter... sorta like rigging an experiment to go the way u want it to.   i'm sure that happens all the time.   then some filmmakers might just want to tell a story.   maybe they wanna portray a life they never got to live... or a life they did get to live but most ppl haven't.   i dunno...

neway, why am i talkin' 'bout movies?   i'm not a film expert.   i like to watch movies, yes.   however, i don't consider it 1 of my main interests, do i?   maybe moviewatching is a bigger part of my life than i've realised.   neway, in the past paragraph i've been asking, "what inspires filmmakers to make films 'bout whatever they make films 'bout?"   shouldn't i be asking instead, "what inspires on.line journal writers to write 'bout whatever they write on.line journals 'bout?"   yah, true.   what the heck inspires me to write 'bout what i write 'bout?   well, i guess... 1st off i make the assumption that i'm writing to friends... i think 'bout what i want to tell friends.   i wanna tell them 'bout what's going on in my life, what i've been doing, how i feel.   then i get carried 'way n' i start writing 'bout my opinions.   i guess i'm sorta giving advice like a friend might... but oftentimes i go beyond that n' get all preachy.   friends do that to each other sometimes.   i try, tho', to give u the option of listening to me or not.   i don't 4ce u to read my journal, right?   i don't spam u via e.mail w/ my latest entries, right?   spam... maybe we'll eat some spam 2nite.

[later] k, this is weird: my cowerker wei's husband got into a car accident near corte madera on the way to pick her up.   a drunk driver hit his car n' wrecked it.   he had 3 visiting doctors from hk w/ him.   now i'm gonna drive all of them to an east bay bart station.

so i took mon n' tues off from werk.   on sun, after taekwondo practice, the beautiful kaela kang n' i took off 4 south lake tahoe.   we drove straight to caesar's palace.   the drive wasn't that bad.   somehow it went by pretty fast n' was decently fuel efficient.   i took it easy, didn't rush.   we checked in.   the hotel was great!   i picked it cos it had a 4 aaa diamond rating n' still had a competitive price.   i booked the reservation on.line n' was lucky i did.   1st, i called them up, n' they sed they were booked.   however, i found an on.line travel agent that could get me the room.   i was very happy w/ this hotel experience.   caesar's is a really nice place.   they wouldn't let us take the snowboards up to the room, so we had to check them in w/ the bellboy.   kaela took me to dinner @ the empress court, the hotel's chinese restaurant.   i always used to dread chinese restaurant in nevada cos i figured they'd all be really americanised n' nasty.   however, this 1 wasn't 2 bad.   i mean... it doesn't beat the best chinese restaurants in the bay area, but it was pretty good.   we had walnut prawns, chicken w/ asparagus in black bean sauce, n' stir fried seasonal veggies.   after dinner, we played some video games in the arcade.   on mon, we ran 'round in the morning trying to find kaela a stomp pad n' new gloves to replace the 1s jeanna lost.   we got some breakfast junk fud from burger king.   we bought our college spring season passes 4 $99 from sierra@tahoe.   we took it easy, boarded till only 'round 200p.   kaela cmed to ride her new board so naturally; that's good.   we quit kinda early.   we got lunch @ subway, then we shopped @ the adidas/solomon outlet.   we drove 'round looking 4 boot ankle straps 4 kaela, but no store had them.   eventually, we ended back @ our hotel.   after we washed up, we went to dinner @ the hotel's roman feast buffet.   oh yah... our room was so nice; it had its own hot tub!   after dinner, we gambled a li'l.   we walked 'round.   then we ended the nite early to sleep.   on tues, we woke up w/o ne alarm.   we packed our stuff n' headed off.   we got some breakfast junkfud from mc yuk yuk's.   we boarded a very full day.   wow!   i think that was the fullest day we had on the slopes 2gether!   it was really fun.   we drove home, stopping in sactown 4 dinner @ fresh choice.   i was so tired when we got home.

i'll write more later.

2day, i took the beautiful kaela kang snowboard shopping.   'member, i sed on our anniversary that i'd buy her a snowboard, that i'm glad she's not only a really pretty gurl but also into fun things like snowboarding.   so i took her to tri.city in fremont.   we were starving by the time we got there so we 1st went to the neighbouring togo's to get lunch.   we shopped 4 a while @ tri.city.   we picked out a santa cruz c type 143 n' airwalk sonar boots.   we didn't like ne of the bindings they had in stock.   we went to go c ken in milpitas.   he hooked us up w/ new fons!   right now we temporarily both have startac 7760s, but we'll be shortly upgrading to v fons, the li'l motorola.   then we went shopping 4 bindings...

it was a hard hunt!   we went to the almaden rd. go skate, where i bought my boots, where i bought pretty much all my skateboard stuff when i was a kid, where i went every sat morning in my pubescent yrs to enter the weekly drawing 4 a free skateboard or whatever...   skateboard kids loved that place!   neway, they sorta had some nice bindings... like kaela cmed to like the burton cfx bindings @ tri.city, but they didn't have her size.   i woulda recommended posilinks there, but they were out.   go skate didn't carry burtons cos they're 2 commercial, 2 corporate, but they really recommended the posilinks.   heh, i know how they think.   man, i feel them, but i also felt like they prob'ly assumed i was some corporate sellout yuppy scum.   well, the salesguy was a really nice guy tho'... didn't even mention "yuppy scum must die" 1nce in our conversation.   ha ha ha.   but if he had, he'd had been right. heh.   after go skate, we wanted to shop 'round.   we tried to find an any mountain.   we drove 'round kinda lost, but then kaela ripped a page out of a 7.11 fon book n' we drove off to westgate.   man... i really realised the difference btwn corporate yuppy scum snowboarding n' true roots keepin' it real snowboarding.   yah, when i saw what they sold @ any mountain... just the opposite of what i saw @ go skate, all the brands that the sales guy was saying were 2 corporate 4 their store.   ha!   oh yah, b4 we went into any mountain, we went to the saratoga go skate, located in that mall... actaully, i knew where that was, but i didn't know that any mountain was in westgate.   after go skate, we got back into the car to drive off to look 4 any mountain n' b4 we left the parking lot we found it!   ha!   well, we exploited any mountain 4 their restrooms, then left.   i was sorta stressed by this pt.   then while driving off to meet ken @ his new de anza blvd store, cos i 4got to take w/ me a delivery 4 josh, i saw helm of sun valley n' quickly made a left turn into their parking lot.   the sign sed closed, n' i noticed they were gonna close in 2 mins @ 600p.   we ran in n' asked 4 snowboard bindings.   awright! they had the posilinks n' @ a good price!   we picked the nicest set they had in stock.   then ken called.   he told us to meet him n' grace @ applebee's.   we agreed to have dinner 2gether.   hey, a double date!

we ate @ applebee's, heavy american fud.   we had some beer.   i didn't want to drive after drinking, so kaela, drove us home to berkeley.   i fell asleep 4 part of the ride.   it's rare that i'm not the 1 driving, n' it was such a weird experience to fall asleep in a car.   i 'member sleeping 4 most of the ride home from tahoe last yr when dave n' darlene drove us home.   that was the time when we stopped @ sudwerk in davis.   neway, when we got back to berkeley 2nite, i assembled kaela's board.   i set it to how i think she'll like it best... it's much different from how i ride my board, but eh... i'm an oddball... or 'least just an extremely freestyle guy.   i wouldn't dare give her the wide duckstance i ride w/.   it's funny... she ended up w/ a very similar setup to mine: a santa cruz deck, sims posilink bindings, n' airwalk boots!

it's 223a.   all this snowboard stuff happened yesterday... technically.   2day, phil'll come over early in the morning.   he's visiting from oregon.   then we'll practice taekwondo.   then we'll take off to tahoe.   life is fun, i think...   let's think that, ok?   life is fun.

2day, i ate so much junk fud @ werk.   i got in early 4 a mtg.   they had bagels n' juice.   that's healthy, but they also had 2 b.day cakes.   later, @ lunch, we had a pizza party.   so much bad.4.beno fud 2day!!!   in the afternoon, i walked out to the creek n' saw 2 duck couples.   i fed them some animal crackers.   the males fought w/ each other a li'l.   1 dominated the other.   then 3 more males flew in.   i was out of crackers by then.   a crow also tried to get fud from me, but i had none to give.

[later] i c my cousin alan has signed my gbook.   i feel very sugar crashed 2day cos of all the sugary stuff i ate.   ugh.   lessee... last nite, went to teach taekwondo class, then practiced a li'l sparring stuff w/ johnny in the red/black belt class, then had a short demo team mtg followed by a uc open mtg.   then the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to northside safeway to buy some groceries.   we so peter chung there n' kaela's a phi o li'l sib.   we went home n' cooked fettucine w/ artichoke, asparagus, n' mushrooms.   i guess 2nite, some taekwondo ppl'll go to sam won to eat dinner.   hrm... i wonder if i can call this the taekwondo p. crew.   i guess so.   u know what i wanna do tho'? i wanna go noraebang!   i made some hotel reservations 4 kaela n' me 4 tahoe.   i want this to be a relaxing trip.   i'll try not to stress out @ all, just chill, have a good time. heh.

so what's up?   i'm here late @ werk just typing this entry.   weekend, yay!   i wanna relax.   next weekend'll be hectic w/ the uc open n' all.   k, i won't try to write nemore right now; i'll leave it @ this... c u.

that drink name makes me relax.   'least it makes me think of relaxation.   last nite was my 1st taekwondoless nite in a while... well, no... that's not true; fri nite i didn't do taekwondo.   still almost every day 4 the past few weeks i've done taekwondo, but last nite there was no practice.   it felt like the mon after nat'l collegiates, the yr i competed.   i was telling roland this last nite.   the summer b4 the semester i was on the competition team, i was testing 4 my 2nd dan.   so i had practiced every nite 4 a long time, n' then all the sudden i had a break, n' i didn't know what to do w/ my time.   well, i tried to relax a li'l last nite.   i stayed a li'l late in my office cubicle to do uc open biz.   then i came home.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to tacqueria cancun on allston. &nbsbp; we had some burritos n' partook of their famous salsa bar n' shared a special agua fresca.   the cashier mixed strawberry, watermelon, n' jamaica agua fresca.   what's jamaica?   she sed it'd be better than plain strawberry, n' she was right.   afterwards, we went to jerome's to hang w/ jerome, roland, erin, n' laura.   later andy came home.   "free" time is precious. ha. but 4 real... i mean, ppl can say that all they want... ppl can say life is so bizzy, this n' that.   n' yah, i'm sure it is... but u know, as i sed... i've come to accept this level of bizzyness.   will life ever be less hectic?   i'll hope 4 the best but expect the worst.   uhm, well, i stole that from the alphaville song, but actually when i look @ the quote, it sounds more pessimistic than i thought it was.   i'll hope 4 the best but plan 4 the worst, k?   i think that's better.   preparedness is better than pessimism.   i don't enjoy pessimism.   when other ppl stress out, i'll stress out.   when i stress out, i drive dangerously.   if i drive dangerously, i might crash n' die.   *sigh* but then who's fault will it be?   i shouldn't drive dangerously.

now that the uc open press confenece demo is over, i hear my musik interests 1nce 'gain calling me.   i want to get back into my dj stuff.   i wanna get back to making mixes.   marie, the asst. taekwondo club rep, the person who got us the church bldg 4 the last big taekwondo party, sed she's getting the church bldg 4 us 'gain on 07 april.   she asked me to dj 'nother taekwondo party.   ok, let's do it.

stress level goes up n' down.   i'd prefer it just stayed down.   my grandfather told me to "expire" 3 times a day.   3 times a day, i should take a big, deep breath.   i'm happy that my 'puter hasn't been giving me ne problems lately; i'm thankful of that.   i don't want it to start giving probs. &nbsbp; i've been burning cds from mp3 ok w/o probs, n' i'm happy 'bout that.   please, benoputer, please don't misbehave!

pto, paid time off: so i'm taking next mon n' tues off to go snowboarding.   kaela n' i'll leave 4 tahoe on sun afternoon/evening.   we'll come back on tues.   spring break... i wish i had a real spring break; i don't like thinking i'm losing pto hours cos i try to bank 'em up in hopes that i'll go on the korea trip this summer.   kaela n' i'll fly down to socal 4 her grandfather's b.day @ the end of may.   i already skeduled it in my outlook calendar @ werk.   upes, i skeduled it 4 april by accident; lemme move it.   k, done (n' done).   i wanna have fun this summer.   i know sometimes it cms like i werk hard @ werk, then i go n' werk hard @ taekwondo, n' i don't relax...   i do look 4ward to having a li'l break after this semester.   ha! 'course i don't wanna get all fat or nething. ha!

[later] 4 lunch, i drove down to that mill valley area n' got a chicken burrito @ lucinda's mexican restaurant.   i heard 'bout it from my cowerker chris.   eh, it was ok but nuthin' spectacular.   i also got a tamarindo jarritos soda.   come to think of it, it was all really overpriced.   burritos, burritos, burritos: i ate a burrito last nite, a mole poblano chicken burrito.   'twas nice weather in cm 2day.   i wonder if berkeley had such nice weather.

i feel so much better now.   altho' i am getting better healthwise, i was referring to general stress.levelwise.   i feel so much better.   we did the demo last nite.   we only had a small audience.   i hope dr. min liked it.   dr. min has never cn me do my fanciest stuff.   when i tested 4 my 2nd dan test, i wanted to show some fancier kicks, but i kept saving my energy.   i guess i'm saving them 4 my 3rd dan test, whenever that happens.   after the demo, i taught my white belt class.   actually, i had johnny teach most of it.   he eagerly wanted to have 1 nite to teach a whole bunch of stuff he sed he was dying to say.   some students who hadn't been there in a coupl'a weeks showed up.   after teaching, i skipped the red/black belt class.   i looked 4 the beautiful kaela kang but didn't c her on the mat, so i just sorta hung 'round the ucmap office.   then she showed up all showered n' dressed.   i told her we'd go out after pratice.   i didn't know she'd leave practice early n' get ready.   i thought maybe she n' some others went somewhere else to werk on something other than the ref seminar thing that the class was doing.   i quickly showered n' got dressed.   i figured, altho' i took her out on fri, i wanted also to have some sort of celebration of our 14th monthversary on the actual date.   'course we couldn't do nething 2 fancy, since it was late on a tues nite.   since she was studying 4 her taiwanese midterm, we went to 168.   coincidentally, we met her taiwanese teacher there.   we ate n' had time to ourselves.

i feel better, as i sed.   i forced myself to go out 4 lunch.   i went alone to togo's in larkspur landing.   i saw a togo's employee put up a burdfeeder hanging btwn 2 trees.   as soon as he finished 2 sparrows flew up to it to eat.   last nite, i told kaela how i postponed buying new tires till after my credit card billing cycle ended.   i sed it's weird cos it sounds like i'm living hand to mouth.   it's not really that bad.   i think i made the right choice.   i'm gonna buy them soon.   i still have some mileage left on this current set.   when i sed "hand to mouth," she thought of foot n' mouth disease.   i told her 'bout that a long time 'go cos i read 'bout in the news.   she didn't believe me that it existed.   then she heard 'bout it in her publik health class.   it's still pretty nice weather.   i hear it'll rain on sat.

i posted some thoughts on b... [i got cut off here cos the ocf server crashed.] i posted some thoughts on bronx's junkyard's forums.   that's where jerome n' laura hang out now.   i understand now how jerome sez he has fun posting there, but then he doesn't have time to update his journal...   it's nice to writechur thought somewhere n' get immediate feedback from ppl.   that's true.   that's why ppl like to chat in chat rooms, right?   i thing i posted 'bout, the only topic i started so far was "who has the least asian ride?"   i'm curious.   so many asian guys r so into suping up hondas n' acuras or driving hi per4mance cars like m3s... but i wanna hear who has the opposite of that.   i wonder how many asians drive monster trucks or vintage convertibles.   just wondering. neway, when the ocf server crashed while i was writing this journal entry, i lost this entry 4 a while, n' i felt discouraged from trying to rewrite the whole entry.   i believed that if i waited long 'nuff, the 'puter'd give me a back up copy of my file, n' it did!   kewl!   i'm not gonna ditch writing my journal n' just post on msg boards, no.   i like having my journal.   1 thing, tho'. i do like it better when ppl respond to what i write, like sign my g.book or e.mail me.   it's ok to sign my gbook anonymously, but then i dunno how to answer questions u leave.

what makes me tick?   what's my purpose in life?   ha, i answer that question on joon's gbook, don't i?   well.. heh... well, he asks, "what r we?", "what r we doing here?", n' "is that normal?"   i just signed joon's gbook 4 the 3rd or 4th time yesterday.   i told kaela on mon nite that it cms like my life these days has 3 parts: relationship, career, n' taekwondo.   is that weird?   i mean, shoot... some ppl r just so engulfed in their careers that that's all they've got.   i don't wanna be like that.   still, i need to care 'bout my career.   well, to a select few, taekwondo is their career, but that's not going to be me.

[later] so i got interrupted 'gain cos ocf crashed!   dang... i hope i didn't lose ne data from the beginning of my journal.   'member that happened b4.   i'm @ jerome's place right now, n' he's gotta sleep, so we're being booted.   ha.   ok, well, g'nite every1.

2day, i had a lousy morning commute 'cross the richmond bridge.   *sigh*   yesterday was a lousy mon.   @ werk, i wasn't sure what i was s'pposed to do, @ 1st... then i got into a task, late in the day... then i stayed late to werk on uc open volunteers organizational stuff.   i came home pretty frazzled but w/ a li'l time to get ready 4 demo practice.   i tried to take my time n' relax as i got ready.   i still didn't feel all that relaxed.   the air was warm n' humid.   that was a refreshing change.   in corte madera, when i left, altho' the sky was dark, the air was warm.   berkeley air was even warmer.   i went to practice n' parked underground.   luckily, the parking meter was broken.   we had demo practice.   it was really hectic, n' honestly quite stressful 4 me.   u know, i don't feel @ liberty to whine 2 much 'bout taekwondo biz here cos it just doesn't cm appropriate since all sorts of taekwondo ppl read this journal...   neway, the nite just got worse n' worse n' worse.   i don't wanna turn this journal into a place where i just whine n' whine.   tss... as if ne1'd want to read that... but *sigh* 'twas a very stressful nite 4 me.   n' 2day's a hard nite's day.   i got to werk, after that awful traffic, n' felt i was sorta getting chewed out 4 something that really wasn't my fault.   *sigh*   i couldn't believe it...   i'm s'pposed to leave early 2day.   we have the uc open press conference demo 2nite.   i made a haircut apptmnt @ panache @ 200p.   i dunno if i'll make it there in time.   i'm feeling pretty crappy.   lemme tell u tho'... if u don't hate taekwondo 1nce in a while, u'r prob'ly not involved 'nuff...   heh!

2day is the beautiful kaela kang's n' my 14th monthversary.   even tho' we celebrated on fri, 2day's the actual day.   i'm glad we celebarted on fri, cos 2nite we have the demo, n' on thurs, kaela has 2 midterms.   this is why we say "march madness."   when talkin' 'bout relationships, ppl sometimes say "thru the good time n' the bad times."   i'm happy w/ kaela.   maybe everything else in life cms quite messed up right now, but i'm happy to have kaela.   maybe it's hard to c cos all this crap's landslided upon me @ this moment...   ppl shouldn't expect a relationship to make up 4 all the bad things in life or whatever.   that'd be emotional dependency.   i can't expect to make kaela's life perfect, altho' sometimes i stress cos i think i should.   but then i'd hafta somehow outlaw midterms, change ucmap politics, alter the housing market of the bay area...   all i can hope 4 is to be 1 man who can bring some cheer into her life n' support her.   sometimes it's hard to accept that.   it's hard to accept being mortal, being just a man; it's hard to accept that when u want to be more.   that's why humans rn't perfect.   life sure is interesting when u look @ it that way, huh?   we just gotta do the best we can... n' take a look 'round, find what's good in our lives, n' cherish it.

back jr yr, when i was pretty stressed 'bout skool... n' i guess those were my more naive days when i was maybe a li'l eager to get into a relationship... back then, i used to say always, "life is life."   it was a sorta pessimistic saying, but euphemised.   i mean, i coulda sed "life is hell," or something, but i chose just to leave it @ "life is life."   maybe it helped me to think, instead of "it all sucks," rather "u take the good, u take the bad."   then i told myself to stop saying it cos it started to sound still 2 negative 4 me...   i stopped saying "life is life."   what do u think, tho?   i also had 'nother saying, 1 i put in my benoquote list: "if life is ever so good that u can't live w/ dying, then maybe life isn't worth living."   some ppl thought that was so morbid.   maybe it is.   i don't say it nemore either.   do u really understand the context of it tho'?

so jerome n' laura r all into posting msgs on the bronx's junkyard forums.   it's 1 of those places where young asian.americans spew 'bout social, cultural, political issues.   r u familiar w/ iistix.com?   well, that's a li'l more refined of a web publication, w/ actual columnists/authors/etc.   n' it's got more of an official asian.am agenda.   however, u know... sometimes i can't help but be really, i dunno whatchu might say, like snobby... like i don't feel that receptive of hearing 'bout asian.am issues from ne1 who didn't pass thru uc berkeley or 'least lived in cali4nia.   that's really narrowminded of me.   well, neway... jerome n' laura r all into the bjunkyard forums... i wonder if they've ever checked out goldsea.com?   ppl there discuss many of the same issues.   eh! @ the same time bjunkyard is so much more appealing cos this dude bronx give out free mp3s n' stuff.

i like mp3s. (of course!)   i downloaded a bunch yesterday.   i can't wait to burn them to cd.   all these albums! 2001 daehanmingook, boa 1.5jip, shakra 2jip, dj doc 5jip, eco 4jip, goofy 4jip, j 1jip/2jip, park hyeikyuhng 2jip, turbo 5jip... it's like going on a cd shopping spree.   heh, so this is why record labels r pissed 'bout mp3s n' napster, huh?   well, i still don't sympathise w/ them.   if they want ppl to buy recordings instead of mp3s... they gotta keep their product quality n' marketing up.   i do buy cds.   it's when i know 4 sure i like the artist n' think it'd benefit my collection.   cd covers r important 2.   i like having lyrics.   heh, still, i guess i gotta admit that sometimes i do dl mp3s instead of buying just cos i'm 2 cheap to buy the cd, huh?   *sigh* well, frick... i'm not made of $$$!   @ the same time, i like it when ppl buy stuff from angelpop via my angelpop link cos i get kickbacks from it. heh.   jerome'll put my kids thru college!   ha ha, just a joke.   still, jerome, 'course i do 'ppreciatechu using my link!   hey, check out this happy call toy!   funny.

[later] yesterday, @ werk, i stayed in all day, altho' 'twas such a nice day.   i gotta force myself to go outside 1nce a day.   i should get back to going out 4 lunch more n' not just eating frozen dinners; altho' that's better 4 my budget.   still it's not good 4 my mental health.   just now, i walked to the creek while i talked on my cellfon w/ kaela.   i saw the mallard duck couple 'gain.   it's low tide right now.   it's not as warm as yesterday.   i saw a li'l lizard on the ground.   the ducks came out of the water n' climbed up, closer to me.   i knew they thought i'd feed them, n' i felt bad cos i had no fud to give them.   they're a beautiful couple tho'.   i wanna find out which burdies mate 4 life.   i hear geese do.   i sure don't believe pigeons or sparrows do.   they're all swingers.   i dunno if mourning doves mate 4 life or not.   i like thinking 'bout burds that do.   yesterday, i stayed in; i ate my packed rice, egg, n' kim lunch in my cubicle.   i shoulda gone out 4 a bit.   my cowerker asked if i wanted to make a trip to our sf office 4 her.   i was thinking i'd get in trouble if i did, so i sed no... but afterwards i realised she was really hoping i'd go 4 her.   i coulda used the fresh air.

sunny respite

thanks, anonymous person, 4 signing my g.book 'gain.   btw, by "filth," i don't mean "sin," butchu can answer the question ne way u want.

so 'twas st. patrick's day weekend, huh?   i barely noticed.   what if there were a st. bernard's day?   who was st. bernard, n' why does he get a doggy named after him, i wonder.   i'm sure i can find the answer to that on.line.   st. bernard shoulda gone by st. beno.   u know, u should keep reading moonhee's journal cos he's updating pretty regularly 'gain now.   moonhee draws cartoons as a journal.   u gotta c it!   he calls his daughter "bamtol."   how was ur weekend?   u should talk.   or else u should have an on.line journal, so i can read whatchu think.   neway, the weekend started on fri as it often does.   it felt good to come back from a day off, werk 4 1 day, n' then have a weekend.   kewl!   i took the beautiful kaela kang out 4 our 14th monthversary.   cos of her midterms, it was hard to skedule this 1.   it's not till 2morrow, but 2morrow's the uc open press demo, n' thurs she has 2 midterms.   neway, on fri, i took her out to c chocolat cos we've been wanting to c it 4 a while.   it wasn't playing @ all that many theatres.   we went to the metreon.   since we were watching the movie there, i made reservations @ montage 4 dinner.   we had some good fud.   i had a big, braised lamb shank that looked like a huge drumstick, like something u'd c on the flintstones.   kaela had the "shanghai noodles," which was udon w/ a shellfish sauce.   we thought it was kinda weird that the waiter looked like a guy that we'd hang out w/, like a taekwondo p. crew kinda person.   he kinda reminded me of peter tsai.   i loved the movie.   altho' it had 1 cheesy, hollywood line involving a skillet, the movie impressed me as a more intelligent movie w/ interesting characters n' plot, symbolism, imagery, everything good.   i realised, i might not read a lot of literature these days, but i watch movies.   oh... off the subject, but i found some 411 on st. bernard.   oh, back to the topic... i think the skillet scene in chocolat would've been better if the character had not sed the line, maybe just given a smile or laff or something.   some things don't need to be sed.   that's my opinion.   neway, as u can c, i'm not revealing much 'bout the movie cos i do support it; i liked it very much, n' wantchu to c it.

sat, since kaela was disappointed 'bout not eating @ ajanta on sun, i took her to vik's chaat house, what i believe is 1 of the most indian culinary experiences in the east bay.   obviously, it's not a fancy place, but it makes u feel u'r @ some big party or potluck @ an indian family's house.   i mean, it's not like every1 there is indian... it's just that the kitchen's so family run.   actually, now they have an east asian cashier n' some other mexican employees; so i'm really not saying that oh, the place is all indian ppl.   n' the clientelle is a very diverse crowd nowadays, altho' yah, it's mostly south asian.   kaela had a lamb baida roti, n' i had a masala dosa.   we brought the fud back to my car, sat in the trunk, n' ate.   my dad always wanted to tailgate.   he sed he wanted a stationwagon, so we could have a tailgate party.   it was a beautiful day.   we got to the rsf early 4 demo practice.   we sat in the car, parked on bancroft n' wasted time.   then we had demo practice.   it went well.   i quickly showered @ the rsf n' got ready to go to the ucmap korea trip fundraiser movie nite n' silent auction.   1st, raymond, johnny, kaela, n' i walked out to telly.   raymond, kaela, n' i got smoothies @ juice appeal.   johnny got some thai fud from thai basil.   then we trekked over to 2040 vlsb (valley life sciences building).   kaela went to study in a classroom.   we 3 guys walked in to join the movie already in progress.   i wasn't sure what movie was playing, but it starred a young jackie chan n' was extremely awful! horrible!   rob brown stopped the movie after a while n' apologised.   apparently reel video gave him a mislabeled tape.   he wanted drunken master 2, but they gave him dragon fist.   every1 hated it.   then we took an intermission b4 watching fist of legend.   i bought pizza n' soda.   they had the silent n' live auctions.   kaela bought a professional massage.   then we watched jet li.   this was the 1st time i watched movie all the way thru.   i've cn bits n' pieces b4.   jerome's brought the tape out on several occasions in the past.   when ppl watch old movies 2 late @ nite, i fall asleep.   the movie nite organisers had a dubed fist of legend dvd.   jerome was very upset, so he went home n' brought his subtitled, copied tape.   they started the dvd, but we switched to the tape.   i found the movie very interesting.   the fight scenes were of course very good; but i also found interesting the relationship btwn jet li's chinese character n' a japanese gurl.   after the movie, we dillydallied in vlsb 4 a while.   here n' there, we helped ppl move tables n' stuff.   some taekwondo ppl wanted to go noraebang, but some others didn't want to go.   i really wanted to go noraebang, but i disappointedly saw that the group as a whole wasn't gonna go.   i've been waiting a long, long time to go; but we never have the chance.   i was thinking of just plain find other ppl who want to go noraebang.   maybe some of my white belt students'd go.   neway, we dillydallied in vlsb n' acted silly 4 'bout n' hour.   then we just headed over to jerome's pad.   we played some pump.it.up n' just hung out.

sun, i went to taekwondo practice from 'bout 130p to 300p.   it was such a nice, beautiful day 'gain.   i came home, showered.   then kaela n' i went out to starbuck's.   by that time it was a bit later.   we were @ starbuck's 4 'bout 2 hrs.   then we ate dinner @ pyungchang soondubu jip.   i like that place, altho' there r nicer soondooboo jip in koreatown, l.a.   still, it's the only official soondooboo jip close to my place.   it's actually pretty popular these days.   it had such a diverse clientelle.   that nite, we did tons n' tons n' tons of laundry.   i got kaela's 'puter to werk 'gain.   it pooped out sometime in the last 2 weeks.   we gotta install the scanner n' printer that roland gave us on kaela's 'puter cos they won't werk on my 'puter cos it has win2k.

u should talk a look @ the official jet li website, designed by my friend patrick lee's company rotten tomatoes.   crazy, all these ppl got to meet jet li!   2day is a beautiful day in corte madera.   2morrow, i'll take the afternoon off to do the uc open press demo.   2day is andy's b.day.   happy b.day andy!   i can't believe next week is berkeley's spring break!   nuts, we should go snowboarding this weekend!   i gotta ask 4 a day off next mon, i think.   shoot, i gotta plan!

[later] so i'm thinking i better skedule a haircut 2morrow afternoon b4 the demo, huh?   this keyboard on my werk 'puter is sorta broken, so now i might have more typos.   the ctrl key is sorta busted.   i guess it's cos i use pine/pico n' switch btwn english/korean on unionway so much.   [a li'l later] so how do u feel 2day?   i wish i could be outside; it's nice n' warm out there.   i stayed in during my lunchbreak.   i wish i had gone out.   i ought to force myself to go out during my lunchbreak.   sometimes i eat @ my desk n' browse the web or write my journal entry.   that's no way to live, right?   i gotta go out n' breathe fresh air.   i think it's been a while since i wrote a journal entry that was more than just rattling off the things i did n' complain 'bout life.   i try not to complain 2 much, but i've been doing that more these days.   so what's interesting?

yesterday, i didn't post a journal entry.   yesterday, i called in sick to werk.   i called in sick to werk 4 the 2nd time in my life!   only the 2nd time in my life.   can u believe that?   thurs morn, i woke up feeling so awful.   i threw on some clothes.   i drove the beautifulkaela kang to her final.   yah, she had a final already cos publik health skool werks like that.   then after i dropped her off, i called in sick to werk.   i felt awful, n' i think i looked it 2.   i already told some ppl @ werk on wed, i felt sick.   i went home n' slept.   i woke up n' saw a li'l daytime tv, just a li'l.   on the view, i learned i can make cleavage look fuller by using make.up.   i didn't know that.   i saw trashy ppl argue on the latifah show n' jerry springer.   then i picked kaela up, n' she took me to lunch @ kirala.   i felt like the place was full of old ppl... k, older ppl; like professors n' older yuppies etc.   berkeley has many more older yuppies than students realise.   students don't hang out in the places that older yuppies congregate.   then we went to long's drugs to buy toothpaste.   the place was filled w/ elderly ppl.   i didn't have newhere to go after that, n' kaela fell asleep but needed to go to class in an hour.   i circled 'round berkeley aimlessly.   then i parked by her publik health bldg 4 a sec.   we saw sam walk by.   then i dropped kaela off n' returned home to sleep some more.   i slept quite a bit yesterday.

then i went to taekwondo.   i knew we were planning to have jason han come n' teach a special class to my white belt students, a sparring techniques seminar.   jason was pleasantly surprised that they had good basics.   i was glad he thought so.   i think they do sparring kicks well cos i've had them do lots'a paddlewerk, but i want them to clean up their kicks 4 form, u know?   the red/black belt class was forced into a ref seminar, but the youngsters were sent to my room.   i wasn't sure what to do w/ them.   i think 1 of the kid's dad is a taekwondo master; the dad was there 2.   i had the kids werk on sparring kicks on paddles.   the dad werked in w/ them.   eventually, i handed the paddle over to the dad, thinking he might have some instruction in mind.   he told me he hadn't werked out in a long time, but he'd hold 4 a while.   i went to check up on my white belts.   after i bowed out my white belts the kids were still there, but the master left, so i had the kids werk on poomsae.   i was sorta confused by that situation.

i didn't mention that on mon... i think 'tas mon... i stopped @ the san pablo, albany arco to get gas on my way to werk.   i bought a sobe cos i was sick, a lizard blizzard.   it was only 99 cents.   i dunno why i mention this, but i thought it was a big deal.

[later] so how r u? let me know, please.   it's such a nice, blue.sky day in corte madera, but i barely went out 2day.   i ate a frozen dinner 4 lunch.   i didn't even finish it.   it was 2 oily, n' i overcooked it neway.   i guess the good weather'll prob'ly hold thru the weekend, right?   i hope so, altho' i don't want all the tahoe snow to melt.   obviously, stocks suck so bad right now.   i feel a li'l lackluster, maybe it's cos of the muddleheadedness.   ah, where is that simple life, the life of just watching coots n' ducks paddle up n' down the creek?   i saw a coot paddle, n' i could c its feet.   sometimes i wish i could i could do lots of physical activities all day.   like earlier this week i wonder what it'd be like if i could spend my days trying new sports etc.   like, i wonder how gymnastics is.   i like being active; i want to be fit n' athletic.   @ the same time, i know i hafta be somewhat of a nerd now n' then.   there must be some negative to being just a dumb jock, u know? *sigh* but i have different interests.   i mean, i werk as an engineer; i devote time to taekwondo... but i also like other things.   i like musik.   i like thinking... more than some ppl realise, i guess.   after all, that's what i do when i write thise journal.   do i think 'bout things, 'bout life, 'bout the way ppl behave, etc. i dunno whatchu wanna call it.   but i think 'bout philosophies, i guess.   i know i'm not as well read as some ppl, but what i have read, i really think 'bout.   u know i have a favourite poem.   *sigh* do u know how i feel right now tho'?   i feel this dumbening... i feel like i'm getting stoopider.   my mind feels slow right now.   i hope it's just the illness; i hope i'm not getting stoopider.   i haven't gotten kicked in the head in a long time... knock on wood 'course, but why do i feel so brain damaged right now?

i'm pretty sick right now, common cold.   i haven't been sick in a long time, so it's hitting me harder than it should.   i feel really muddleheaded, slow, stressed, sore.   i don't feel good.   i never know when to take time off.   i come to werk sick.   when i was a kid, i usually went to skool even if i was sick, so now as an adult i really don't know when to stay home sick.   it's awful.   i prob'ly should've called in sick to werk n' taekwondo yesterday; i went to both.   i should've 'least called in sick to werk; i had important things to announce @ taekwondo.   i didn't really werkout neway.   i let aviva run the white belt class, n' i mostly just 'ta'ed.   i needed to do the uc open volunteer recruitment tho'.   demo practice was short cos the recruitment ate up time.   afterwards, johnny, the beautiful kaela kang, n' i went to shk to eat some chinese fud.   i wanted soup noodles cos i'm sick.   i'm back @ werk 2day 'gain, even tho' i should be home in bed, cos i just don't know when to say when.   there's so much to do these days: the demos 4 the uc open, the uc open... it's a lot of werk.   4get basketball, @ berkeley taekwondo, we have 'nuf march madness!   i'd whine 'bout how hectic life is 'cept i 'ready toldju what i think 'bout whining 'bout how hectif life is: i should accept this level of hecticness as the norm n' not complain cos it won't get ne easier than this!

i read joon's journal.   i dunno what to tell him 'bout his major.   i'd definitely encourage him to stick w/ engineering.   what else would he want to do?   'course, sometimes i wonder why i werk as an engineer...   yah, it pays me a li'l... sometimes i wish i got paid more, but 'least i get some $$$.   what else would i rather do?   well, joon... think of it more like this tho': i guess, no matter what i do 4 a career, i'll always be glad i graduated from engineering skool.   it's good brain exercise, joon.   just try, k?   'course somedays i wish i could just do taekwondo 4 a career.   4 the amt of time i put into it, it's like a 2nd job, yah.   still i werk as an engineer during the day.   there's more to it than just getting paid, tho'.   joon, u haven't been in "the industry" yet.   u only know what's up w/ berkeley engineering skool, where they poundju n' poundju n' make u feel like $#!+ every day.   when u get in the industry, u get to do more hands on stuff; u c ur labour actually produce something.   u feel useful n' accomplished.   u also get to spend $$$, i mean buy kewl toys 4 the company, u know?   that's fun.   i really like opening packages that come in the mail or by ups/fedex/etc.   it feels like christmas morning.   now if that isn't a good reason to be an engineer; i dunno what is! ha ha.

i don't like being sick.   i should find time to sort thru my recent pics to find 1s to send to master jang in korea, to do housekeeping, etc.   i know i'm a bizzy person, but i've sed that i want it to be that way, that i believe in being a productive person.   @ lunch i went to rite.aid to buy more uc open volunteer bribe candy.   i bought an extra bag of gummi lifesavers.   my mom likes gummi lifesavers.   these r some special easter shape gummi lifesavers.   i 4got; 1 of my white belt students, her family ows m&m/mars.   n' there i was last nite bribing her w/ candy to volunteer. ha!   i really wish that i was healthy last nite n' then i could've particpated in the special 3 hr werkout.   i wish i could've done the wushu n' hapkido lessons.   if i had tried wushu in my current state of health, i would've disappointed myself.   i also want to spar sometime soon.   it's been so long since i got to practice sparring.   it's hard to believe i used to practice sparring everynite when i was on team.   i don't want to think i'll never get to spar 'gain just cos i'm committed to demo team.   i gotta admit, tho', my current illness makes me glad i don't just do taekwondo 4 a career.   if i did, then i'd feel really useless right now.   'course i don't think very well 'bout engineering things while i'm this sick either.   i feel really muddleheaded.

2day is tuesday.   yesterday was mon.   i titled this entry "blue monday" cos the stock market went down so bad yesterday.   it's crazy to think, huh?   it makes me feel a li'l pessimistic.   i really think this country is going down cos of the stock market, increase in politically conservative thought, n' skoolyard shootings.   i expect to c a definite increase in young angst.   i expect musik lyrics to get angrier soon.   we'll soon c bubblegum pop disappear n' industrial grunge reappear.   kids'll start hating their parents 'gain.   hrm... ok, maybe i shouldn't 4cast so much doom n' gloom.   i felt a li'l stressed yesterday.   i'm starting to get a cold, i guess.   i have a sore throat.   my right leg is a li'l injured; but we have a big demo a week from today.   stress.   yesternite, on my way home from werk, i stopped by the taco bell drive.thru on san pablo n' got a 7.layer burrito.   i was starving.   they gave me napkins that weren't taco bell napkins.   i guess they ran out n' sent some1 to albertson's to just buy whatever napkins.   i hadn't been @ that taco bell in yrs.   it's bad to starve thruout the day, i guess.   2day @ lunch, i went to safeway to buy some cubicle groceries, fud to keep in my cubicle.   it was expensive.   i think my lunch today was expensive, the turkey sandwich n' odwalla.   man, they rip u off in corte madera!

i read joon's journal 2day.   i liked that he wrote a very thoughtful entry.   do u think ne of us on.line journallers r gonna be authors?   in the asian.am 3a class that i almost took, the instructor told us to keep journals.   i think i'd like to be a professional author, but i don't know if i'd write nething that ppl'd pay $$$ to read.   neway, i agree w/ joon: being a moral person does not necessarily equal being a good person.   i'm glad 4 joon that he had this encounter w/ a stranger in need.   that kind of stuff happens in berkeley; ppl ask 4 help.   in some berkeleyans' minds, berkeley is a community where help each other, take care of each other.   they really feel ppl can support each other.   altho', maybe in a different sense, i believe that 2.   i don't really buy into the berkeley community thing.   maybe i'm 2 shy to hang w/ a bunch of ex.hippies that i don't know, but amongst the ppl i do hang out w/, i like to feel a sense of community.   i like to think we can loan each other things, invite each other over 4 dinner or a video, etc., that we can go snowboarding 2gether.   i'm a social person. i'll write more soon.

i changed sat's entry's title from "qwik-e sat" to "kwik-e sat".   i guess i mispelled it the 1st time.   neway, 'twas a fun weekend.   sat, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went down to milpitas n' met ken @ his store.   ada was there w/ her sister anita.   i drove ada n' anita to the 99 ranch n' dropped them off @ their car.   they followed us to cupertino 99.   ken met us there.   we had dim sum @ joy luck place.   ken left.   coincidentally, we ran into hogan n' anchali.   kaela n' i looked @ stuffed totoros.   we went to fantasia, n' kaela bought me an espresso pearl drink.   i liked it.   she bought a li'l, white puffball totoro animal thingy, sorta a keychain, i guess.   it's holding a green leaf as an umbrella.   then we went home to san jo to pick up the uc open pics.   we dilly dallied, watched tv.   steve was painting my mom's room; grace came home from her writing class.   then kaela n' i left 4 the east bay.   we met up w/ ppl @ jack london el torito: brandie, bruce, joon, jerome, laura, n' karen wan.   we were a loud n' obnoxious table.   then we went back to jerome's.   we watched his vcd of crouching tiger, hidden dragon n' played pump.it.up.   oh, b4 that, we went to party safeway to bu some fud n' drinks.   some ppl did grocery shopping.   we ran into eileen there w/ her friend john.   young joined us @ jerome's place.

sun, we went to the rsf to practice, altho' we skipped the ref seminar.   we were so tired from the nite b4.   i tutored some of my white belt students: matt, eurie, hamid, n' claudia.   they're a good, eager bunch.   i was s'pposed to give sandy hashima the uc open pics, but i realised i must've left them in the car.   i checked the car, but they weren't there.   kaela told me she brought them up to the room.   since it was a nice day, we walked back to the apt to get the pics n' gave them to sandy.   on the way there, we got pearl drinks from quickley.   sandy was very appreciative 'bout the pics.   then kaela n' i wet to starbuck's on solano to study.   then we ate @ boran thai restaurant just cos we found parking there.   it's "ok," nuthin' special.   i had been there 1nce a long time 'go 4 ken's b.day.   the restaurant was full of families.   we did some grocery shopping @ northside safeway.   i bought candy to give to uc open volunteers when we recruit.   it was a fun weeked, pretty packed.

[later] last nite, while just wasting time, kaela n' i were reading joon's journal n' clicked on his link 'bout asian astrology.   i don't believe in much 4tune telling, but i do think that perhaps the conditions u were born into n' raised in can affect ur personality.   by this, i include: @ what time u were born, in what month/season/yr u were born... so i guess astrology is sorta like this... it's sorta like a set of generalisms that sez all ppl who were born @ this particular time r like this, etc.   i don't hang out w/ many fellow rabbits.   1975 babies r wood rabbits.   the rabbits that i do hang out w/ r mostly pretty good friends.   i think there is better unity 'mongst 1976 fire dragons.   i know many fire dragons.   kaela's a fire dragon.   back in my leland days, the class of 1994 was so united, while the class of 1993, my class, was so factioned off into li'l cliques.   we missed simpsons last nite.

i'm gonna write a quick entry right now on this sat morn.   it's almost noon.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i r getting ready to go meet ken in san jo.   we were s'pposed to be there @ 1100a, but we woke up late.   last nite was toby's 8tet concert.   they were great.   i was so glad that kaela finally got to c an 8tet concert, 'specially 1 w/ toby in it.   laura n' jerome came w/ us.   sumati went 2.   she let us cut in line w/ her, but she n' her friends sat somewhere else during the show cos wheeler was so crowded.   the 2nd encore was toby singing britney spears's "upes, i did it again."   the crowd loved it.   it was a surprise 4 them.   i knew they'd sing it cos i was @ toby's apt. when he was arranging it.   i feel so honoured.   this guy used to cut my hair!   imagine if he gets really famous 4 singing... n' i can still say this famous guy used to cut my hair.   lemme tell u; it felt so good to just sit back, relax, n' be entertained.   most nites of the week, i spend well... i dunno... like i'll be teaching taekwondo or practicing taekwondo demo... so in a sense i'm sorta per4ming 4 other ppl... but last nite, i was p4med 4... i guess.   it was very relaxing.

after the concert, we waited 4 a long time in the foyer, or whatever u call the indoor front of wheeler.   we waited 4 toby.   finally, we found him, when we spotted betty.   actually, even after that, he took some more time to come out of the auditorium.   we got to c ppl we hadn't cn 4 a while like elissa, toby's sister, n' irene chu.   kaela knows irene from a phi o.   i met irene thru her bf jarvis.   jarvis is ed park's good hs buddy.   b4 jarvis switched from eecs to mcb, he had physics classes w/ me, etc.   we met betty cho, n' this guy rob via betty last nite.   we all ate @ koryo sootbool.   k, we gotta go now.   ttyl.   lemme know how u'r doing!

last nite, i left werk, drove bak to berkeley 4 taekwondo practice, n'found street parking on bancroft despite the cal b.ball game.   i heard cal beat the asu sun devils n' now need to win sat's game to get into the playoffs.   ain't it great to have gone to a pac10 skool?   neway, i got to the rsf earlier than usual.   that was great.   the beautiful kaela kang was already there waiting 4 me.   her cellfon ran out of batteries, so that defeated the purpose of my rushing back home to get mine b4 going to werk.   i taught my class.   2 new kids joined the class.   i really want to teach my students well.   i want them to have a good understanding of what taekwondo is all 'bout n' to continue studying it.   after the white belt class, i joined the red/black belts in practicing palgwae poomsae.   then kevin led a short uc open mtg.   after practice, n' after dilly dallying 'round the ucmap office 4 a while, kaela n' i went home to bake a frozen cheese pizza w/ anchovies on top.   nuts, i dropped the pizza in the oven.   i was so tired.   i just picked up the pizza n' anchovies, n' slapped the fishies back on the pizza.   kaela thought it was a li'l gross.   i wish i coulda done something better, but i was so tired.

@ lunch 2day, 7 ppl from my werk went to dragonfly in the corte madera mall.   it's an asian fusion joint started by that shanghai 1930 / xanadu guy.   altho' it wasn't bad, i definitely think shanghai 1930 n' xanadu r better.   i'd rank shanghai 1930 above xanadu.   that's my opinion.   u know, i'm starting to think i might have a niche in the restaurant review culture; 'least i've found a specialty... asian n' asian fusion fud...   hrm... maybe i'm stating the obvious, that i've always tended to try more asian n' asian fusion restaurants, n' that's inherent to my asian ethnicity.   hrm... u think?   but i also like all sorts of european, middle eastern, latin american fud, right?   hrm... but alas... i admit i have the most opinions to give 'bout asian n' asian fusion fud.   i definitely think most restaurant critics in the sf area, n' there r more than 'nuff, don't understand asian or asian fusion fud all that well.... actually, i 'specially think most local fud critics don't understand pure asian fud 2 well.   n' that's sad to say since there r so many asians here.   'n of the asian fud critics 'round here, i think they're mostly overly clumped into chinese cuisine... n' that just goes back to my schpiel 'bout 1 negative of asian.am panethnicity: "re: joon's comments 'bout ethnicity," 2000.02.15.   yup, yup, yup.   then 'gain, there was that guy in the sf chronicle who recently wrote a feature on korean fud.   that was pretty necessary.

2nite, we'll go watch toby n' the uc men's octet.   oh yah, i ate "fish pillows in wine sauce" @ dragonfly.

how r u this 2day?   yah, u should tell me.   i'd like social interaction, conversation.   this morning, i rushed out of the apt to drop the beautiful kaela kang off @ her class.   i 'membered my lunch, but i 4got my cellfon.   can u believe i actually went back home n' got it after i dropped kaela off.   tsss, i know many of u would scold me, but whatever.   ur scoldings'll only fall upon deaf ears.   i mean that figuratively.   i don't plan on losing my hearing.   neway, don't bother scolding me.   i'm on my lunchbreak right now n' eating leftovers from last nite's dinner.   i cooked eggplant n' sausage fettucine.   it turned out pretty decent.   i ran out of fettucine, so my lunch is actually that sauce over rice; let's call it risotto.   the morning commute was better 2day; no 2 hr drive.   the week is progressing.   the month is progressing.   the yr is progressing.   i need to go snowboarding.   soon it'll be barbecue season.   i ate a lot yesterday.   life... i've been around a bit.   just think.   last nite nite, jerome asked me what the biggest decision i've ever had to make was.   i didn't come up w/ an immediate answer.   i guess u'd think i'd be able to, since i talk 'bout crossroads.   yah, leaving ebmud n' picking a new job was a big decision.   i told jerome that altho' there have been many time in life where i had to take action, do something big, not all of those times involved an explicit decision... or maybe just in retrospect, they don't cm like big decisions.   n' some "decisions" weren't that hard, altho' they were big; like picking a college.   i had my choices, but shoot... 'course i was gonna go to berkeley.   some choices r kinda gradual; 1 thing leads to 'nother, n' well u've picked ur choice.   i make lots of li'l decisions more often than i make 1 big decision.   why is my domain name not werking right now?

last nite was a non.practice nite.   kaela n' i did no taekwondo.   i picked her up from werk, n' we went to long's drugs to get some things n' went home to cook/eat dinner.   i fell asleep after dinner, but woke up 4 the simpsons, which i taped.   as i mentioned b4, i want to compile a simpsons tape, so i can watch simpsons netime, u know?   i 'member on the 1st big taekwondo p. crew trip, sandy brought a tape like that.   ah... the heyday of the p. crew.   i keep emphasizing: it was fun, but it was a sacrifice.   ppl sacrificed grades, career... but hey, i really don't regret it.   it was fun.   just think how parents'd scold kids 4 thinking like that.   what do parents want their kids to think? that skool n' career r all that's important.   what r they afraid kids think? that playing / having fun, hanging out, being "kewl" r all that count.   ha!   u know tho? shoot, by having fun, i want to avoid having some midlife crisis someday, u know...   frick, why should i wake up 1 day a coupla decades from now n' wish i had done more fun things when i was young?!   'member that saying: "no1 ever sez on his/her deathbed that they wish they had spent more time @ werk or watching tv."   chew on that.

besides asking u to chew on that, i'd like to ask u, "how do u like them apples?"   i never saw good will hunting, but i sure did c commercials 4 it, so i know that line.   do u think i'm a nutcase?   sometimes i wonder if i am.   even if i am, i don't wanna c a psychiatrist or therapist or whatever.   i'd rather solve my own problems.   do u think i'm a nutcase?   even if i am, maybe i'm glad; why be normal?   in some ways, maybe rather than asking "what do u think is wrong w/ me?" i want to ask "what do i think i could improve 'bout myself?"   what do u want to improve 'boutchurself?   what do we want to change 'bout our lives?   hrm...   now that's some tuff, overcooked beef to chew on!   do u eat meat?

[later]@ the end of my lunchbreak, i walked out behind my office to the creek n' talked to kaela via cellfon.   it was a beautiful day in corte madera w/ a relatively blue sky, spotted w/ a few patches of white clouds.   all sorts of animals were out enjoying the good weather.   i saw an egret type burd fishing in the water.   i saw a pair of mallards lazily napping.   that was a nice sight, n' i wished i coulda fotographed it.   i heard animals rustling in the green grass, where i couldn't c them.   many sparrows were out n' about.   wow, what a peaceful day.

something that my cowerkers don't know, unless they're reading this right now, is that i change into my pre.taekwondo clothes in my cubicle.   i take off my officewear, n' put on my shorts n' t.shirt, the clothes i wear under my dobok, n' then either put on my dobok or go straight to the outer layer, which is warmups.ish pants n' some top.   i haven't been caught yet; but lemme tell u... if i've gotta stay @ werk so late, i deserve to be able to run 'round in my underwear!   that's a basic human right.   i'm sure amnesty int'l'll support me.

this morning i woke up w/ a stomach ache.   i wanted to get the beautiful kaela kang to hapkido class, so i neglected to take care of it @ home.   (oh, that's a euphemism 4 b.m.... meaning, i should'a sat on the toilet a li'l!)   neway, i pondered stopping @ a mcyukyuk to use their bathroom, n' maybe buy an mcmuffin or something; but i knew i was a li'l late...   so i figured i could just hurry to my office.   argh! it took almost 2 hrs to get to werk!!!   there was such a traffic jam on 580w!   'twas crazy!

a coupl'a bad things in this country 2day r: 1) how conservative ppl have gotten n' 2) kids going on shooting sprees @ skool.   these things r bad, i say.   i mean... doggies biting ppl; that's maybe bad; but these things r worse!   i tell u... when i hear of n' c this rise in politically conservative thought, i really worry that this country is really gonna go down, that life in general'll just not be as good.

@ werk yesterday, i did some matlab programming.   then toby called n' asked me to help him sell his hard drive on e.bay cos he bought a fibre.channel drive thinking 'twas an ide drive.   it was the sort of things no1 wants to deal w/, but i guess some1 has to, n' toby asked me to help him by selling it 4 him.   i'll c what i can do.   my werkday turned out well in the end cos my matlab program werked great.   i wonder; maybe i should'a just gone into plain programming instead of engineering.   what do u think?

after werk i hurried home to pick up alex's beanie, which i needed to return to her cos she left it on sat nite, n' the boombox my mom loaned to me.   practice went great.   i was really pleased w/ the energy level of the class, altho' lots'a ppl skipped last nite.   demo team practice didn't happen really... altho' some of us stuck 'round to practice on our own.   i'm getting a li'l nervous cos we have so many uc open mtgs comin' up, which'll supercede demo practices, n' the uc open press conference demo is comin' up soon.   i sorta pulled my groin muscle while practice flying side kick variations.   i'll lay off those 4 a while; i'll go back to practicing halo kicks.

i have a stomach ache.   'u know what i blame this on the breakdown of?   society.'   i have a society ache.   [later] this morn, i weighed in @ 149 lbs w/ 10.4% body fat, 'ccording to the tanita scale, which is calibrated somewhat 2 high according to consumer reports, according to kaela.   [a li'l later] i betchu'r wondering what mr. david yee is up to these days... u know what? man, u can find out lots from the internet.   so i was browsing thru dave kim's web journal, n' i found a link to a personal webpage 4 "emily chen." i thought, "hey, that's prob'ly dave's gf."   i was right!   n' i saw pics of dave n' emily @ times square 4 last new yr's.   dave, there's no hiding! [a li'l later] oh yah, i 4got to tell u that i overheard my manager telling my cowerker 'bout how his cat saved a dying baby hummingburd this weekend.   he sed he was just 'bout to go hiking; then his cat came up to him going "meow meow," n' it dropped something furry in front of him.   it was just a li'l furball, no bigger than the end of his thumb, 'cept it had a beak!   so he took the burd w/ him to this wildlife center, n' they sed 'twas a baby hummingburd, n' they took it into their care.   wow, huh?   toby put his hard drive on auction on y! auctions.   u know, my theory is that toby reads this journal.   that's my theory; that he reads that i say he always comes to me 4 help on 'puter stuff n' buys 'puter parts from costco, so he decides to prove me wrong n' buy his own 'puter stuff... then i say he asked me to auction off his drive, n' it's a bit of a chore; so he sets up his own y! auction.   then if he were to tell me that he does read this journal, then i'll ask, "why didn'tchu ever tell me u read it?" n' he'll say, "i dunno, beno..." cos he would find it awkward, right?   hrm... that's my current theory. ha ha ha. geez... u know, toby's a good person.   i don't mean to say that i'm really annoyed w/ him cos he asked me to auction off his drive.   i was just saying it'd be a chore 4 ne1, including himself.   neway, let's all go to toby's uc men's octet concert, k?

yesterday, i left werk, went home, changed, picked up the beautiful kaela kang's dobok, n' went to go pick her up from her werk, so we could go to taekwondo demo team practice.   she informed me that she would take a while, so i stopped the car, n' waited.   i listened to my copy of sechskies 4jip that i got from jerome.   i started reminiscing 'bout the spring n' summer of 1999 cos this sechskies album has that happypop sound of the earlier sechskies albums, h.o.t., shinhwa, etc...   it brought me back to those days, n' i dozed off, reclined in my driver's seat, n' started dreaming.   then i woke up, realising it's unsafe to sleep in my car.   then i dozed back into 'nother dream.   i 4get what i dreamed 'bout.   it was dark.   it's still winter, but the sun is staying up longer.   some evenings like yesterday evening, tho', the clouds cover up the dim sun.   i talked on my cell fon 4 a while to various ppl.   then kaela came down n' we went to demo practice.   practice was good.   i want the demo team to keep their energy up altho' we just had a demo.   i think ppl had good energy last nite.   we stayed a li'l late cos ppl were just plain pumped to go on.   that's good.   afterwards, kaela n' i went to jerome's to eat ravioli n' miyuhkgook n' watch simpsons n' a tape of a korean celebrity gameshow thingy.

hey, 2 the person who recently signed my g.book, it's the beautiful kaela kang, not leana.   thanks 4 signing the g.book, tho!

[later] i went to the bank during lunch to deposit some checks n' get 0.25s 4 the parking meter @ the rsf.   it's such a beautiful day outside; it feels like summer.   we have such extreme weather here lately.   it's winter, then summer; rain n' wind, then sun n' blue skies.   on sun, while in the rsf, some1 was playing a cd w/ a rap song that had duran duran's "save a prayer" sampled in.   i don't know that song. [li'l later] i gotta write a matlab program.

it's mon.   this weekend was pretty social.   on fri nite, roland, jerome, laura, the beuatiful kaela kang, n' i went out to dinner @ pizzeria uno in jack london square.   cos of lent, jerome wasn't eating meat; so i figured that was a place w/ vegetarian options.   however, in the end jerome didn't order pizza; he actually had a salad!   i found that very unusual 4 jerome.   kaela n' i shared a casesar salad w/ anchovies n' a 3x shroom deep dish pizza.   good stuff.   afterwards, we went to blockbuster n' rented robin hood men in tights n' watched it @ joon's place.   some of us fell asleep during the movie.   roland gave kaela n' me our christmas presents.   he's had them 4 a long time, but we never got a chance to get them from him.   he gave kaela a foto scanner, n' me a web printer.   now kaela can have more pics on her site, n' i don't hafta use shutterfly to get prints of pics on the web.

on sat, we had our a phi o demo.   it went pretty well as a whole.   this is the 1st time in a while that we coordinated a multiclub demo: hankido, taekwondo, wushu.   after the demo, the taekwondo demo team went to jonggajip, a korean restaurant in oakland, where moa soju café used to be.   they sponsored us 4 the uc open, so we wanted to give them our bizness.   after that, ppl went home to wash up n' stuff.   lotta ppl didn't wanna come back out, but i gathered johnny, alex, n' raymond over @ my place, n' we watched 2 jackie chan videos: the prisoner n' project a.   i brought kaela's tv/vcr into the living room, so we wouldn't be using josh's stuff.   it was fun.   it was a different bunch than i've hung out w/ more in the past, u know?   but there's nuthin' wrong w/ that.   it's weird to think how my apt used to be a big center 4 p. crew stuff.   then ppl started avoiding it cos of the josh incident, or incidents...   *sigh*   actually my apt is a good place hanging out; it's got a big living room.

sun, we had taekwondo practice in the afternoon.   it was a rainy, windy day.   i cooked some dinner.   we did laundry.   we watched some tv.   what do u think of the lone gunmen?   altho' i watched it, i think it's sorta nerdy, n' i'm personally not @ all into this government conspiracy thing, this "don't trust the government" thing.

i was reading men's fitness while wasting time on sun afternoon, after practice.   i read an article 'bout social anxiety.   i sorta think i have a li'l social anxiety.   i think i gotta tell myself more often that if i say something stoopid, the universe won't explode.   some ppl in this world say the dumbest things.   n' some ppl who say other ppl say the dumbest things say the dumbest things.   i gotta accept that sometimes saying dumb things is all part of being not perfect; n' no 1's perfect.   yah, the article taught me that social anxiety isn't the same as "being shy;" that's different.   when i was younger n' played piano so much; i didn't like ppl listening to me practice, hear my mistakes.   i'd rather just present to them the finished product.   i still act like that sometimes.

i c richard n' rachel signed my g.book as "r&r."   yah, i 'member u2.   last nite, i wanted to look @ joon's g.book, but bravenet was down.   'member, i can't access joon's g.book from my werk.   i hope joon studies hard.   laura passed her broker's license exam last week.   congratulations, laura.   now she doesn't have the excuse that she's studying, n' now she has to go to werk @ 630a 'gain.

last nite cms like a long time 'go.   it's fri eve now.   'member my original beno @ the crossroads document?   in a way i feel i'm @ a set of crossroads these days.   4 instance, the housing confusion.   yesterday, i e.mailed ehousing n' asked them to give me a free month's extension to my membership.   they pleasantly surprised me n' obliged.   kewl.   i replied in thanks n' sed i'd recommend them to my friends, so here i go.   i told them how when i signed up in january, the market was ok cos the students were off on break, but i wasn't ready to look.   then the students came back, n' there was nuthin' on the market.   now the market is lookin' a li'l more in my favour, but my subscription/membership ran out.   neway, they gave me until 25 march.   not bad.   still i'm @ crossroads: rent or buy?   frick...   my mom called me yesterday.   i guess she felt i was blaming her 4 my housing confusion, that i was suggesting that she got me in a mess.   i dunno.   all i know is i gotta move.   my current housing situation is just so miserable.   paying rent is like throwing $$$ into a trash can, true.   however, i gotta be realistic 'bout how much $$$ i have... that it's not easy 4 me to buy a place, nope; no way.   definitely not "easy."   however, yah... some could argue that it's "possible."   so maybe i find myself @ crossroads.   should i say "argh" or "yay"?   should i let this indecision n' confusion get the best of me, or should i rejoice that life is just exciting?   there's 2 ways to look @ life.   all i know is i've eaten maybe frozen dinner lunches this week, altho' 2day i had a burrito from the roach coach.

last nite cms so far away, i sed.   i drove the beautiful kaela kang's kia sportage n' picked her up from dwinelle n' brought her to the rsf.   we were blessed w/ a good parking spot, the #1 parking spot, the closest to the rsf entrance on that side of bancroft.   i could've sed we had the good 4tune of finding a good parking spot; or i could've sed god blessed us w/ a good parking spot.   'member yesterday's discussion? or maybe u don't 'member nething i say.   neway, i taught some of the white belt class w/ aviva n' johnny, then johnny n' i went over to do demo team stuff.   it is a li'l tuff to juggle these 2 things, but i feel ok so far.   i'm not gonna do my 3x side kick 4 sat's a phi o demo cos i can't say i'll get it right, 100% sure.   i know i can do it, but i need more confidence, n' that'll only come from repeatedly practicing it more.   after practice, kaela n' i went to go pick up my subaru from the shop, then we met up w/ johnny n' raymond @ 168.   i'm glad we finally introduced johnny to 168.   he cmed to enjoy it.

2day, during lunch, i finally got my haircut.   i went to supercuts in san rafael.   i thought it'd be cheaper, but it's $14.   my haircut is so.so; ok, but not great.   toby called me this afternoon cos he found out the hard drive he bought is a fibre channel drive.   man, toby's gotten himself into a mess, i think.   i want to go out 2nite.   i think i feel ok.   i ate a doughnut @ this morn's mtg @ werk.   i also ate 2 slices of the green tea roll cake.   i think those r pretty fattening things.   r there ne good movies out now?   what r we gonna do 2nite?   i wanna have fun.   i wouldn't mind feeling young n' alive.

i titled 2day's journal entry "crossroads 2001," but i didn't talk 'bout many crossroads, just 1.   but lemme tell u... look @ my life now. really, there r many crossroads, u hafta admit.   but there r also some 1 way streets, right? n' 1 way streets rn't necessarily bad.   u can't get lost... or sometimes they getchu more lost, huh? 'least in berkeley n' sf, ppl say... hrm... well, i don't mean to imply that everything in my life is up in the air, no.   i'm just saying, i have decisions to make in this period of life, life.changing decisions, life.long decisions. but shoot... not everything i do throws the world of its axis of rotation! "do i dare disturb the universe? in a minute there is time for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse."   life should be fun.   i watched a woman open the trunk of her stationwagon.   her dog backed up a li'l n' jumped into the trunk.   what a well trained doggy!

joon, u sound a li'l down.   chin up, my brutha.   i 'member most of those praise songs u posted on ur page.

i feel so much better 2day.   i dunno when i started that blue funk, but when i woke up this morning, i felt so much better.   isn't life crazy like that?   what's w/ my mood/psyche?   have i had some weird chemical imbalances?   well, i don't necessarily subscribe to the belief that everything is dictated by chemistry... i mean, 'member how nelson'd always preach that spirituality is just a manifestation of biochemistry?   some ppl believe biochemistry dictates everything in life, when u have a good day, when u have a bad day... then there r those ppl who believe in luck.   then there r those ppl who believe in dieties or a higher power / god, that god makes or lets things happen, good n' bad.   what does beno believe?   why am i having a good day 2day?   is it cos i ate beef sukiyaki last nite?   maybe happiness requires an animal sacrifice.   is it cos i ate a chunk of linda's fudge later last nite?   is it cos god is just blessing me w/ a good day?   is it cos yesterday was sorta sunny, n' i enjoyed the sun as i walked to the craft store to buy "leatherlike cord" to fix my kuhbook necklace, which i just did, just now.   yah, sun is good.   i don't believe much in luck, altho' i'm tempted to buy a lotto tic to win that $82 million.   i gotta win it, so i can buy a place to live.   i believe in god.   however, i didn't pray to have a good day 2day; i'm just having a good day.

last nite, after werk, i drove back to berkeley.   i stopped by long's drugs to pick up some pics.   these pics were from a disposable camera.   the pics span a big time range.   that's what happens w/ me n' rolls of film from disposable cameras, since i usually use my elph.   then i picked up the beautiful kaela kang from her werk, n' we dropped of my subaru @ albany ford subaru.   the service guy had an interesting name imants bush.   he interacted very professionally n' courteously.   then we went to katana.ya ramen.   we shared a caterpillar roll; n' kaela had dumpling ramen, n' i had beef sukiyaki.   it was all very good.   the beef sukiyaki was cooked @ the table over a flame.   kewl!   i burned my tongue a li'l on some tofu.   kaela treated me 4 the dinner.   then we went to safeway on solano n' bought a ton of groceries.   it took a while.   we saved $33 w/ the safeway club card!   we came home, barely fit all the frozen stuff in the freezer.   we watched simpsons; i wanted to tape it 2 but messed up.   toby called, we talked a li'l.   his octet show is next fri, n' we plan on going this time.

i believe in god, jesus, the bible.   i'm a protestant, not a catholic.   kaela n' i discuss that.   how come it cms like most ppl we hang out w/ r catholics?   n' it's 'specially surprising to us that we now know so many korean catholics, while in both our pasts, most koreans we knew were protestants; either baptist or presbyterian.   my dad 1nce told me most taiwanese christians r presbyterians cos most missionaries to taiwan were presbyterians.   do u care 'bout denominations?   some ppl think that the presbyterians r so immoral.   some ppl think baptists r so strict.   some protestants think that the pope is the devil.

i'm having a good day, so far; but my hair is very bad.   i didn't have time to fix it properly this morning, so it's everywhere.   i wore my black bucket hat as i drove kaela's kia to werk this morning.   i thought 'bout the kaela n' me, our housing situation.   *sigh*   altho' i feel less stress in life, in general @ this moment since i'm in a good mood; i know that the housing situation is still indeed a crisis.   my e.housing acct expired.   we really gotta move soon... this apt situation just isn't gonna werk no matter how my mom thinks we can just wait it out 4 some extended time until we find a place to buy.   i'll never live in a yuppy dwelling.   i'll never have an overpriced luxury apt or condo.   i've accepted that, n' i don't mind.   that's no big deal.   however, this apt situation is not good, n' we gotta move still.   ppl always ask if we've found a new place.   no.   neway, i'm in a good mood right now, so i'd rather not think 'bout it.   instead, i think i'll go 4 a walk outside altho' it's not sunny.

[later] i saw joon's changing his journal page.   i wonder if he realises that this means i gotta change all my links in my journal.   joon was editing as i was viewing his page; i could tell cos i reloaded.   verizon changed their txt msging website.   now u can't send anonymous hate msgs.   oh well... heh heh; i should've done it when i had the chance, huh?   but why would i be that mean?   i try to be nice, u know.   neway, i have the new url.   try it, send beno a cellfon txt msg!   u should know my cellfon #.   i have the url linked on my links page, which is mostly affiliate sponsor programs.   i don't have a real "links" page yet.

on my way to werk, i saw a yamato transport moving van @ the toll plaza w/ this cute yamato cat/kitty logo.   i've cn it b4.   so i figured out yesterday, or the day b4 (i 4get.), that geocities sucks, that they don't allow users to use pics from their webspace on pages not stored on their server.   what jerks!   skrew u, geocities!   n' i thought u y! ppl were kewl, but it looks like u'r just a bunch of jerks. (y! owns geocities now.)   [later] last nite we had practice.   i'm gonna do 3x flying side kick 4 sat's demo.   i've been werking on it.   when i get nervous, tho', i rush it.   master yoon tells me to make sure i go slow enuf to show 3 distinct kicks.   lately, i've been able to spend more time really developing my techniques.   since sam spent so much time doing more organisational things 4 demo team lately, i guess, i find more time to practice halo kick, 3x side kick, etc.   speaking of which... the ups guy just dropped off the demo team boards!   kewl!   well, after practice, the beautiful kaela kang n' i just went home n' cooked some fud.   we didn't buy ne groceries, taking my mom's advice that we eat the fud we have b4 we buy more.   2gether, we cooked some mabo tofo n' heat sterilised some very aged kimchi.   since i had to stop @ home b4 practice to get my dobok, i started the rice cooker then, n' we had some very good rice.   we watched tv.   even tho' i definitely enjoy time alone w/ kaela, i realise that i don't have much group interaction these days.   what i mean is this: most ppl have social human interaction during the day.   they go to class n' talk to classmates, or they go to werk n' talk to cowerkers.   me, i don't talk much w/ cowerkers.   it's sad.   so if i have ne group social interaction, it'd be after practice.   these days, we haven't been going out after practices.   it's good cos i save $$$.   it's bad cos i never c a lot of my friends.   it's hard to deny that i'm a ppl person... altho' @ werk, ppl prob'ly think i'm pretty introverted.   i'm not introverted.   i don't want to need to be in a group setting, like a social addict; but it's healthy to be amongst a group of friends now n' then, right?   yah, i shouldn't think that friends r everything, altho' i never wanna take them 4granted.   if i were to think friends r everything, it'd be like 'nother kind of emotional dependency.   emotional dependency is bad.   heh, but still... i think ppl should hang out sometime!   nuthin' wrong w/ hangin' out now n' then, is there?

[later] 1 thing u know i do that joon doesn't do is add to my journal entries, later on the same day   i read joon's journal, 2day's entry.   thanks, joon, 4 caring.   joon thinks i sound stressed.   well, as i sed yesterday, i think i'm a li'l pmsed these days.   brandie doesn't believe in male pms, but i do.   i try not to be stressed, of course.   'member, i tell myself that even if things cm hectic now, i shouldn't believe that it's hectic, it's just normal.   life'll always be bizzy.   i werk; i do taekwondo.   some ppl might say that if i wanted a more relaxed life i should quit taekwondo.   most ppl in the world don't do taekwondo, right?   most ppl go home n' watch tv after werk, right?   maybe they go out 4 beer after werk; maybe dinner.   maybe the go home n' cook dinner then watch tv.   in ne case, u know that's not the life 4 me!   i want to spend my evenings doing taekwondo.   sure, @ times, it's like having 2 careers, but i want it this way... just like a backstreet boy, u know?   i detest sloth.   no, not the hairy, rainforest animal! i'm talkin' 'bout laziness.   "the devil will find work for idle hands to do."   i don't want to idle.   i want to be active, have an exciting life.   but then 'gain, i need to sleep now n' then...   last nite i had poor sleep.   this morning kaela wanted to wake up to write an essay, so we set the alarm clock to go off @ 500a.   i think the clock was set to radio.   she wouldn't wake up, so i reset the alarm 4 700a, but put it on alarm.   she repeatedly hit the snooze button.   each time, i fell back asleep n' had a different dream.   weird, huh?   in 1 dream, kaela n' i were taking care of liane's bunny, named chocolate.   we were taking care of 3 bunnies n' had a big, big cage to fit them in.   chocolate's a big bunny.   many of my dreams involve a big group of friends, kaela has pted out; but this 1 just had us 2 n' 3 bunnies.   i often have dreams where i'm skateboarding.   sometime this week, i had a dream 'bout skateboarding.   that dream involved many taekwondo friends.

last nite, we had demo practice.   after demo practice, laura passed out cupcakes.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i foned shk (sun hong kong) to order some fud2go.   we didn't have a menu w/ us, so we just guessed @ names 4 dishes: kaela wanted egg flour soup, n' i just made something up, "beef w/ vegetables over rice."   we drove to shk, found parking really fast.   we went in, waited 4 our fud, grabbed a menu.   kaela's soup is called "seaweed soup w/ egg" or something like that, n' mine is called "beef w/ tender greens."   neway, we got fud.   i paid w/ my discover card.   there's a space 4 tip on the receipt, but why would ppl tip on a take out order?

[later] 2day i went to novato 4 my werk.   i had to drop off a microscope lamp to get the power supply fixed.   i drove, got a li'l lost 4 a sec; dropped off the lamp, n' ate @ j.box in novato.   oh, on the way, i picked up pics from long's drugs in greenbrae n' got gas in san rafael.   it's been a nice, warm day.   it reminds me of summer.   i flashed back to the days when i'd drive the ol' blue volvo 240dl n' play cure's wish album.   that summer, i took a pascal class @ west valley community college.   i was really fat back then.   @ j.box i ate a chicken fajita pita combo w/ curly fries.   this small j.box ran out of tables n' chairs, so i asked an old lady if i could share her table.   it was like taking a seat next to some1 on bart, i guess, but less of a usual thing 4 me.   i don't sit w/ strangers during lunch very often.   i s'ppose in some places it's very common.   4 example, 'member eating in the dc (dining commons) in the dorms?   i wanted to sort thru my pics during lunch, but my hands were so greasy from the curly fries.   after a table opened up, i moved.   i wonder if i offended the lady by moving.   @ the same time, if i didn't move, would she think i was occupying her space?   i had a bad commute on the way to werk, n' i cut off some car to get into the fastrak lane thanks to some stoopid big rig.   i was so annoyed w/ the traffic this morning.   kaela called my cellfon while i was @ the 76 gas station on my way to novato.   i told her 'bout how pmsed i am 2day.   it's awful.   i think i need to spend more time outside, by the creek, w/ the ducks.   i 4got my taekwondobok this morning, so i hafta get home fast after werk to get my dobok b4 going to practice.   my hands r so dry.   no matter how much lotion i put on them, they stay dry.   i still need a haircut; i get shaggier.   i guess if i don't get a haircut by the end of the werkweek, i'll just go to supercuts or something in san rafael.   i dunno if i'll get a good haircut in marin county.   asian guy's hair needs to be cut differently than other guys' hair cos it's thicker.   some barbers can't do it.   maybe things have gotten better now n' more barbers know how.

on sat, my mom brought her boombox up to loan to me cos she read i needed 1.   i don't need to make jerome lug his over to the rsf every tues/thurs nemore.   i don't want my mom to be boomboxless tho'.   i plan to return it to her after this semster.   it's very thoughtful n' caring of her.

so many lousy days start w/ my getting to werk late.   i mean, i feel so lousy when i get to werk late.   this morning, on my commute, i thought 'bout how sick i am of werking in marin county.   i'd really prefer to werk in the east bay.   but i don't wanna werk in pleasanton or walnut creek or concord!   i'd rather werk in berkeley, emeryville, oakland, richmond, etc.   *sigh* 'least i don't werk in sf nemore, right?   altho' the scenery is unbeatable, the commute sucks big time.   how's werking in redwood city, roland?   i know the commute's no good.   *sigh*   yah, i'd just rather not have a commute.   there must be a simple life that involves growing apples, picking apples, etc.   but then it's only a simple life till u find out ur the head apple picker is a child molester, then all hell breaks loose, right?   *sigh*   be ye glad that u don't werk in the silicon valley.   be ye glad that u don't werk 4 some failing .com.   my drive to werk this morning had loud musik from jaurim as a soundtrack.

i got an e.mail from fahad this morning.   i haven't heard from him in a while, but i was glad to hear from my old friend.   how was this weekend?   please tell me.   how was my weekend?   lessee... fri, stayed @ werk a li'l late, but not 2 late.   we had plans to go to @sushi plus to ask 4 a uc open sponsorship.   the beautiful kaela kang was stuck late @ werk.   johnny, roland, kaela, n' i were to go.   i picked johnny up 1st.   then we went to the rsf to get a program n' posters.   roland got to @sushi plus 1st, but he 4got his wallet.   i told him we'd be there soon, n' i could spot him.   kaela was still stuck @ werk.   johnny n' i waited outside her bldg.   then we finally all went to join roland, who had been waiting 4 a long time.   we had a big dinner.   the waitress was astounded @ how much we ate.   she sed she remembered me n' kaela from last time.   i think that might have been her 1st nite on the job.   after we ate our big meal.   we talked 'bout the sponsorship.   she told us she graduated from yong.in dae in musik; last yr, i think.   then i asked to talk to the manager.   he didn't cm all that interested but i tried not to lose hope.   he let us put up a poster tho'; actually, the waitress sed she'd do it later.   'twas an evening of spekaing mixed korean english.   i saw that steven chow, whom i knew from leland n' berkeley engineering, was eating @ the sushi bar w/ a gurl.   i never got a chance to say hi tho'.   we also had the same piano teacher, ms. frieda murphy.

after dinner, johnny, kaela, n' i went to sumati's party.   man, 'twas a real college party.   i enjoyed the atmosphere, knowing my days of going to college parties r definitely numbered...   i heard ppl talking 'bout ce 130.   frick, how many other 25 yr olds go to parties where u hear ppl discussing college classes n' lectures/profs n' skedules, etc.   ha ha, but i guess some ppl'd just say i'm immature cos i hang out w/ young ppl, right?   whatever.   it felt like the days when i'd go to ed park's parties.   there were engineers w/ their special beer drinking device: a funnel w/ a long tube n' a control valve @ the bottom.   blammo n' joon drank a can of beer each using the device; maybe 2.   chals's friend djed trance musik in the living room.   sumati collected $$$ to pay the dj.   i had no ca$h, but i also was wondering 'bout the whole idea..   i mean 'twas 'gainst my principles cos i woulda djed 4 free if she had asked.   'course she would've had to ask quite a bit in advance cos it'd take 4ever to get my stuff out of my messy room @ this pt.   i 'member djing eric n' ed's foothill party, hoping to get tips, n' man... it wasn't like ppl had a bad time; it's just that... well, who's gonna really tip a dj?   yah, right!   4 real...   ppl wanted hip hop n' couldn't dance to trance.   lemme tell u, that's a prob w/ playing eclectic musik.   i mean, if u dj 4 ur friends who like the same kind of musik, it's fine.   'member the days when i could dj owen's li'l bro rudy's parties? i'd play modern rock / techno all nite... w/ a li'l hip hop n' house.   but also 'member when i djed leland's sr ball.   i djed jocelyn's sr ball, i think.   every1 complained i played 2 much modern rock n' techno.   even tho' it feels right to stick to ur principles, be true to ur musikal roots; sometimes a dj's gotta sell out n' just play what the crowd wants.   really, that's ur job.   heh, but it's not like i thought the musik was bad.   i was fine w/ rave/techno on fri nite; n' kaela n' i danced.   1 thing tho'... trance shouldn't be on vinyl.   i know that's how trance record labels want it, but it's unnecessary.   only hip hop needs to be on vinyl cos u need to scratch; but they have plenty of pitch adjusting cd turntables these days.   i wonder if ne trance djs have considered recording their vinyls onto cd via cd burner; n' then djing w/ cd.   i tell u tho'... i'll stop w/ all this old fogy talk... i'm sick of going off on "kids these days think they invented teckno musik.   back in my day..." frick! lemme just let them kids have some fun n' stop being such an old grandpa!   i mean... frick, do i really think nuthin' has changed since 1992?   ha! it's been almost 10 yrs!   do i really not think there have been major developments in tekno musik?   tss... *sigh*   well, look @ us now... 10 yrs 'go we were in an economic slump; now we're back in an economic slump.

10 yrs 'go... kids?!   man, sometimes i have this 0.25 life crisis moments; but if i'm having issues w/ my age @ 25; what 'bout when i'm 45?! 65?! 85?!   yah, maybe when i'm 85 i'll be worrying if i fit in w/ the kids nemore, right?   i'll wonder if i'm still hip; if i'm still groovy.   neway, sat my mom came up to berkeley.   we looked @ houses n' had dim sum @ that dim sum place in the 99 mall.   we bought some groceries.   sat nite, kaela n' i went to watch sweet november.   eh, it wasn't all that great.   the best part was the soundtrack.   it's just 'bout a dying woman who basically wants to be a flirt.   that's really what it came down to.   it didn't cm to realise just how expensive it is to live in sf.   why do all movies nowadays involved guys in advertising?   it's the kewl job now, huh?   keanu's char was s'pposed to be this werkaholic guy...   as 4 werkaholism movies, i prefer the family man.   kaela n' i ate movie theatre nachos while watching previews.   after the movie, we drove 'round sf.   we stopped @ fisherman's wharf, n' i bought us some tourist fud, just 4 kicks...   then we drove 'round some more.   we ended up back home n' tried out the universal remote.   it controls the tv only so.so, but it werks w/ my reciever n' cd player.

sun, we had taekwondo practice.   then i dropped kaela off to do some studying w/ a group.   i went to tacqueria cancun n' bought us some fud.   i gave kaela a pollo adobado burrito n' a cantaloupe agua fresca.   i had a vegetarian torta, which wasn't very good.   we watched simpsons n' x.files.   then we watched a video i've had 4 a while, a korean movie eunhaengnamoo chimdae, the gingko bed.   it starred han suhkgyoo.   we saw him in palwoluy christmas, swiri, n' now this 1.   it was only a so.so movie.   [later] 4 lunch, i ate leftovers of tortelini that kaela made w/ the leftover pasta sauce last nite.   i wanted to pick up pics from longs drugs, but i guess they're not ready yet, 'ccording to the guy on the fon.   i badly need a haircut, but i dunno where to go.   i tried to go to panache yesterday, but they sed they were booked.   my e.housing acct has now expired, so no more looking @ rental listings.   what a waste of $$$.   let's look on the bright side; i saw this golden retriever w/ a white face from a distance.   oh yah, the netwerk administrator here, @ werk, sed i'm the #1 referrer to the company website.   hrm... i'd best not say bad things 'bout my werk, since they prob'ly read my journal 2, right?   heh heh...   well, 2 late.   u guys know where i werk, right?   i werk @ resolution sciences corporation, we make 3d microscopes n' provide an imaging service.   go check the website, if u wanna know more.   [later] it's such a beatiful sunny day in marin county.   while i called kaela on my cellfon, i walked out to the creek behind my office n' watched a pair of coots n' a pair of mallards.   it's sunny n' warm out by the creek.   i've been eating more chocolate than usual these days.   [later] i reinstalled win2k on my 'puter yesterday.   i hope my 'puter stays up n' running 4 a while.   i want to get back to doing musik stuff on it asap.   i want to go snowboarding.

yah, do they not werk?   give me some feedback when u can.   i know some webspace providers don't let u offload, or whatever they call it... grab pics from their webspace to put on a page from 'nother server.   that's lame!   i don't think geocities cares, but i dunno.

well, last nite... it was really rainy.   i picked the beautiful kaela kang up from dwinelle n' drove us to the rsf.   those stoopid cal basketball fans!   frick, 'twas such a nightmare to maneuver thru bancroft n' durant w/ so many ppl walkin' 'round.   i mean, i'm all 4 cal spirit!   i'm very glad i went to cal... but the basketball crowds annoy me cos they eat up parking n' make it harder 4 me to get to taekwondo practice on time, etc.   i taught white belts.   i didn't feel out of it, like i did on tues.   they're a really good class.   i like them.   i hope they're having fun.   i really appreciate jerome's loaning me his boombox.   if i had more $$$, sure i'd go outn' buy a boombox.   i'd get a jvc kaboom, i guess.   i looked @ them on ebay etc. b4.   actually, i don't need such a big boombox tho'; i usually don't turn up jerome's very loud.   i still want the class to be able to hear me; but i figure a li'l beat in the background helps motivate them.   after the white belt class, i joined in the red/black class.   we practiced palgwae poomsae.   then we had demo practice.   i really don't wanna disappoint master yoon.   i gotta get myself back up there.   part of it is just going balls out n' being bold.   lots'a demo stuff is like that: if u just stop worrying that u'll fall on ur @$$ n' hurtchurself, u can do so much more than u think u can.   after practice, kaela n' i went straight home.   it's been a while since we've hung out w/ ppl after werkout, huh?   i think johnny n' raymond r usually up to hang after werkouts.   lotta ppl these days need to study n' stuff tho'.   actually, i guess we all hung out after last thurs's werkout, huh?   oh yah.   that was really fun.

2morrow my mom is gonna come up n' c us.   i asked 5 companies to sponsor the uc open: my mom, ken, angelpop, yesasia, n' golden tiger.   i know my mom is putting an ad in.   i hope the others come thru.   if u own or manage a bizness, please put an ad in the uc open program.   2nite we'll go to @sushi plus on telly n' ask them.   erin got 2 ads from a korean restaurant in oaktown.   it's funny that we're so into getting sponsors, but we know that ucmap needs the $$$, n' the program's a good publication.   last yr, i wrote an article 4 it.   i dunno if i'll have an article in it this yr, tho'.   i dunno what i'd write 'bout.

i'm wearing the esq watch that kaela gave me 4 v.day.   i wanna find us a good, cheap universal remote, so we can program her tv/vcr combo to tape the simpsons.   i wonder if i should get a remote that can also control my stereo equipment.   it'd be much more expensive tho'.   eh! i dunno.   no remote can turn on my cd player; u hafta go n' push the button, then u can use the remote to do the rest.   *sigh* we really gotta find a place to live.   i'm starting to accumulate alotta junk 'gain!   i was getting all clean, but now the place is getting all messy 'gain!   *sigh*   it's no good.   there's been lotsa good e.housing rental listing lately; but if i'm s'pposed to buy a place, then this'll take 4ever.   argh.   neway, it's fri! let's not stress, k?   "let's get happy."

[later] i ate a frozen dinner 4 lunch: past shells n' a breadstick from healthy choice.   this week has been a frozen dinner lunch week.   this is how an engineer saves $$$.   man, enginer guys love to go out to eat lunch, it cms.   that's just how they r... n' they like "ethnic" fud, like to try fuds from all different countries.   my dad raised me to be like this.   however, right now, i just want to save $$$.   if i'm gonna go out to eat, might as well do it @ nite, @ a nice place.   there's nuthin' wrong w/ eating frozen dinners 4 lunch: frozen dinners r the wave of the future!   by the yr 2000, all fud will come in frozen, plastic trays, ready to be put in the microwave oven 4 swift cooking.   mmm mmm! that sure is good!   b4 i ate my frozen lunch, i went to long's drugs in greenbrae to drop off film n' buy a universal remote.   i paid full price 4 the remote, but we need 1, so we can tape simpsons.   this 1 can control my stereo equipment 2, s'pposedly.   we'll c.   the salesguy sed i could return it if it doesn't werk.   it's s'pposed to werk 4 panasonic tvs n' vcrs n' yamaha/sony audio equipment.   it's made by sony.   if i can find a better price on it, then i'll return it.   i have 30 days.   c, if i'm gonna pay big bucks 4 a fancy remote, i gotta save $$$ by not going out to lunch.   heh heh.   oh yah, i deposited same's n' joon's checks after buying the remote.   lemme tell u, i wish i could access joon's gbook from my werk; somehow i can't... firewall or something.   but i have so much to say to joon, n' i think gbooks r a good place to say stuff like this.   i'm glad joon's been keeping up w/ his journal.   web journalists, or web journallers, communicate w/ web journals.   we give n' take.   i mean, i like reading my friends' journals; it's a way 4 us to communicate.   it's very indirect tho', huh?   heh... it's like:

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: [Wearily] Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: [To Homer] You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup, homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not, not talking to me, and secondly, I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case!
Bart: Uhhh, Dad. Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart! Go to your room.
Lisa: Why don't you just eat him, Dad!
Homer: I don't need any serving suggestions from you, you barbeque wrecking, no-nothing know-it-all!
Lisa: That's IT! I can't live in a house with this prehistoric carnivore. I'm out of here! [Leaves and slams the door.]
Homer: That's it! Go to your room!
-- from "Lisa the Vegetarian"

that was 1 of last nite's episodes.   coincidentally, we had a vegetarian meal, huh?   in fact, i haven't eaten ne animal all day so far!   pretty good!

last nite, to celebrate our 13th monthversary, i took the beautiful kaela kang to oliveto on college ave., in the rockridge neighbourhood of oakland.   a very nice, dimly lit, well decorated, italian restaurant w/ lotsa rich fud.   very rich fud, but delicious.   these days, i wonder if i don't give restaurants 'nuff criticism.   well, oliveto is 1 of the best restaurants in the east bay.   every1 sez so.   if i had 1 criticism... hrm... i think it's a li'l bit pricey.   but eh! these restaurants tend to do that kind of thing, charge a lot, u know?   neway, i wanted to take kaela somewhere nice cos she's a special gurl n' deserves to be taken to nice places.

this morning i feel very caffeine withdrawn.   is that the right wurd?   it's not that i drink 'lotta caffeine, but lately i've drunk a lot of diet pepsi @ werk n' i've drank a coupl'a espressos, 1 on mon nite, 1 last nite.   last nite's espresso was really strong.   why drink espresso @ nite?   i dunno... i don't drink coffee 4 the caffeine, usually; i drink it 4 the taste.   hence, i usuallyprefer espresso over other coffee drinks.   i hope i gradually wake up 2day.   last tues's pratice was lite, but 2nite, 1) i ought to werk the white belts harder, n' 2) we'll have demo practice.   [a li'l later] i thought we were gonna have company pics @ werk 2day, so i dressed a li'l nicer.   i dunno tho'; i'm not sure if they'll happen.   i'm gonna pick up my watch 2day; it's been adjusted 4 me.   last nite, i didn't have my new watch, n' kaela didn't have her new earrings.   oh well.   1 reason i wanted to go to oliveto last nite was how i thought, yah, what if we move away from berkeley?   i mean, we live closer to oliveto now than we'll probably ever live, u know?   i mean, if we move to albany, north berkeley, etc...   we'll always have solano, right?   [later] i picked up my watch.   i talked to toby earlier.   he bought a 9.1gb seagate baracuda drive didn't realise it's a u160 scsi drive, while he only has an ide system.   he bought it 4 $71 on ebay; that's really cheap.   i guess he should try to resell it.   i dunno if he should buy a 19160 u160 card like i have... i dunno if it'd be worth it 4 him.   i tell u, tho', i'm glad he didn't buy the hd from costco.   maybe he bought the drive just to prove to me he doesn't buy all his 'puter parts from costco.   ppl, if u have a chance, please sign my new gbook.   so far matt n' kaela have signed it.   if u haven't noticed, i'm going to change my g.book often n'd like frequent input from my readers.   yup.   i mean, it might as well be sort've a discussion board, u know?   [later] i just wanted to keep track of what wines kaela n' i have tried: last nite, we had a 0.5 bottle of navarro pinot noir from mendocino.   the bottle was really cute, like a soda bottle; really small.

when i was a kid, i didn't like anchovies, not even on pizza.   i thought they were way 2 salty.   my mom liked them, tho'.   now, i like anchovies on pizza.   i think it's a very italian taste.   the beautiful kaela kang also likes anchovy pizza.   last nite, i had a lazy nite.   i got to the white belt class barely on time, but i guess aviva had already bowed the class in.   the search 4 parking delayed me.   i was so annoyed w/ zellerbach ppl.   so many old ppl were driving so slow 'round bancroft n' durant searching 4 parking, clogging up the streets.   i dunno what i dislike more: zellerbach ppl or cal basketball ppl.   both crowds make my nites difficult cos i can't find parking 4 taekwondo practice.   neway, i didn't make the white belt class a real endurance or cardio class but tried to cram in lots of in4mation.   i guess we gave them a bit much new information.   i dunno, a semester'll fly by like that, n' i gotta make sure they know all they need to know.   i really got to get to practice early so i can sort myself out b4 i start teaching.   last nite was a bit of an off nite.   i skipped the red/black werkout al2gether cos 1) i was lazy, n' 2) i had a li'l bit of officewerk to do 4 the white belt class n' uc open.   we had a uc open mtg afterwards.   then kaela n' i went to pick up my car from albany ford subaru.   man, car maintenance costs a lot.   i'm shoppin' 'round 4 a set of 215/60hr16 yokohama geolander h/t tires.   i need to find a good deal.   i can buy them on.line, but then i gotta lug them over to a shop to have them mounted.   i wonder how costco's prices r on these tires or if they even have them.   i want to have good tires; safety 1st.   i was considering getting tires w/ a higher velocity rating, but traction's important, u know?   i saw that subaru's marketing the impreza wrx in 'merica.   s.mike'll like that.   i guess we'll be cing lotsa yuppies driving these soon.   it'll appeal to the kind of ppl who drive audi a4 quattros etc., i guess.   neway, 'nuff 'bout cars...

after i picked up my car, kaela n' i went to safeway n' bought frozen dinners n' frozen pizza.   we ate a freschetta cheese pizza n' put canned anchovies on it.   we also had lotsa chips n' salsa.   man, i ate late! i fell asleep w/ a full stomach.   that's so bad.   i can't do that; it's bad 4 me!   when i do that, i feel yucky in the morning.

joon, in his entry 2day, sed, " a person's name is part his/her destiny."   sure, joon... if ur name were "kickmy@$$ kim," i'm sure u'd have had a different life, right?   i wish i could access joon's g.book from my office, but i guess there's some sort of firewall that's stopping me.   i ate a healthy choice frozen dinner n' a safeway nonfat peach yogurt 4 lunch 2day.   so what am i thinkin' 'bout these days?   i guess i'm still thinkin' 'bout how life'll never get less hectic.   i'm quite surrendered to that idea.   do u think as we get older, we won't hang out w/ friends nemore?   do u think we won't go out nemore?   some ppl really cm to believe that, accept it as inevitable.   i don't think that's true.   u think 1nce we have kids, we won't go out nemore?   what do u think?   2day, i faxed a letter out to angelpop to ask them to sponsor the uc open.   i wonder if they'll do it.   i hope so.   ken hasn't gotten back to me.   after i bugged him 'bout toby's laptop, he stopped calling me.   that sorta frustrates me cos i also gotta talk to ken 'bout sponsoring the uc open.   toby bugs me 'lot 'bout how ken hasn't gotten his new laptop 4 him yet... u know, 'puter stuff n' helping toby out... like, i know if i don't help him, he'll get majorly ripped off.   i mean, he buys 'puter parts @ costco, 4 pete's sake!   but if i help him, i end up being so much to blame 4 things that go wrong.   that's frustrating.   but toby's a friend.   n' ken's a friend.   u know... don'tchu like that squareheaded monkey on chals's maracas game?!   i know i do!   2nite, i'm taking kaela out to dinner; a nice place.

2day is the beautiful kaela n' beno's 13th monthversary.   kaela has a midterm 2day.   we have taekwondo practice 2nite; can't skip!   we're teaching the white belts, then we have a uc open mtg afterwards.   we can't celebarte our monthversary 2nite, but i'd most definitely like to take this hot kaela chick out to dinner 2morrow nite.   last nite, well... after midnite, so 'twas techinically our 13th monthversary 'ready, kaela gave me a white cal beanie w/ my name embroidered on the back.   it sez: "dj beno hwang"   she sed she would've stopped @ "dj beno," but she "likes" my last name.   that's what she sez.   that made me smile.   also, she would've put taekwondo on it, but they only do 1 line of embroidery.   i'm glad i have a cal beanie 'gain.   i had 1 b4, but i lost it.   weird how some things disappear.   i don't want to lose this 1.

my hair's so shaggy now; i'm just a big shagball.   some1 needs to cut my hair!   usually kaela does, but she's bizzy, n' i know she doesn't wanna worry 'bout messing up my hair.   'course toby used to cut my hair, but now he sez that kaela should cut my hair.   maybe he just doesn't wanna cut it cos it's just 'nother chore.   neway, besides that! even if toby did cut my hair, he refuses to cut it short on the sides; he thinks it makes me look like an asian punk.   *sigh* i mean big *sigh*.   what the heck is he thinking?!   *sigh* he sez i need to look "professional," like an "adult."   frick... really! what do adults look like these days?!   man... really!   do i hafta be shaggy to look like an adult?!   adults don't need ppl telling them how to look in order to look like an adult...   imagine a 25 yr old female being told to stop looking like a teenager...   how 'bout a 35 yr old female being told to stop looking 25.   what the heck?!   it's not like i'm dressed in gangbangin' clothes or nething... do ppl realise how i dress to werk?   i wear cords, khakis, jeans, or slacks w/ collared shirts usually.   i usually wear long sleeved polo shirts these days. i usually don't wear baggy jeans to werk, but on casual days, i might.   sometimes i wear sweaters instead of collared shirts.   i used to wear my button up or button down shirts, but i felt weird coming in more dressed up than my managers.   how do engineers dress these days?   sheesh! i think what i wear is fine.   i think how i want my hair is fine.

yesterday, i mentioned that i wish i werked @ a place that had more employees my age.   yah, i think so.   even tho' i don't plan to quit my current job, let me describe a more ideal situation: it'd be 1) at a hip company w/ other young adults, 2) pay me like $60k, let's say, 3) be in berkeley, 4) apply my technical knowledge, 5) give me a good amt of vacation time n' somewhat flexible hrs, 6) have opportunities 4 advancement n' mentorship, 7) make me feel good 'bout myself, 8) be 'least somewhat hi tech, n' 9) have something to do w/ musik, taekwondo, or snowboarding... or all of the above. ha ha.   wouldn't that be great?   n' 'course it'd have all sorts of good benefits, like insurance, etc.   u know, i dunno if u can tell from what i wrote, but i don't really want to werk 4 myself, like, start my own bizness...   no, i'd rather have a position where i have some1 to learn from... but i also wouldn't mind having ppl to teach... ppl below me, i s'ppose.   i'm always the youngest guy @ werk...   maybe i'll miss that, huh?   i dunno... man, what should i do w/ my life?!

oh yah, i 'gain changed my g.book, changed the questions.   whether u signed it b4 or not, please go 'head n' sign it 'gain.   yesterday, after i logged yesterday's entry, phil did write to me to tell me how bizzy law skool is right now.   all these future lawyers... i wonder how fahad n' eric r doing nowadays.   i really gotta get my 'puter set up 'gain.   that dang creative labs soundblaster driver skrewed it up a few weeks 'go.   man! *sigh*   mo' 'puters, mo' problems!   my car's done, but i haven't had time to pick it up from the shop yet; won't have time till after practice.   i'm gonna need new tires soon; i had the brakes relined.   car maintenance takes $$$.   yup, gotta werk to make that $$$.   that's not the simple life, huh?   the simple life is subsistence farming, right?   "sounds like u'r werking 4 ur car.   simplify, man!"   c, if i had a job in berkeley, i wouldn't drive so much.   in that sense, wasn't ebmud such a great place to werk?   but sometimes i got sick of the operators n' technicians heckling the college edjumacated engineers from the the ivory tower downtown.   n' sometimes the big government contracted company cmed to have 2 much bureaucracy.   *sigh* so i dunno...   just a while 'go a cowerker came to ask me what i do cos she needs to tell the sales reps 'bout what we all do... i dunno... maybe so they know whom to ask if they have questions, u know?   i'm glad nowadays, i have a better defined position.

last nite s.mike called from virginia.   he told me that he told his boss he'll quit @ the end of may.   then he sed jefflyn, dave n' emily, andy, roland, n' he n' his friend grace r going to europe btwn may n' june.   he was surprised i hadn't heard 'bout it b4, but no i didn't.   he asked if kaela n' i wanted to join in, i didn't give a positive response, just sorta a slight "nah, i wanna save up my vacation days... kaela has to get an internship," this n' that.   well, in reality tho', if i take a vacation this summer, i want to go on the ucmap korea trip, of course.   last time, master park sent me, paid 4 my tution; i just bought a plane ticket.   i'm not so sure ucmap'll do that 4 me this time, i dunno.   even tho' i wasn't a college student then, i'm even less of a college student now.   i didn't mention to s.mike that i wanna use my vacation time 4 the korea trip cos he'd go off, u know?   he'd say, "why do u use all ur vacation time 4 taekwondo?!"   well, shoot... i also use vacation time 4 snowboarding!   but besides that, he'd go off n' say i've already been to korea... n' he'd go off saying i ought to visit europe, that it's the kewl thing 4 young adults to do, that i'll never get to do that 'gain till i'm retired, that i shouldn't act like an asian fob always stuck on asian things...   heh!   really, i think he might've sed ne of those things. *sigh* i do wanna visit europe someday... but i dunno, it's just not such a high priority.   frick, why should it be?   well, i want to eat real french fud, real italian fud, real spanish fud.   i wouldn't mind going back to england n' hearing english accents n' british rock/pop musik everywhere. i wouldn't mind trying to speak french, altho' i could also do that in french canada, right?   i wouldn't mind drinking french wine n' german beer.   tss... it's not like i can't do that in 'merica, but i guess i ought to try it @ the source someday, right?   argh.   what else?   yah, it'd be nice to walk 'round dirty old streets n' c historical monuments.   i'd also like to go to greece n' eat real greek fud 2.   but i dunno... how can u expect me to put those things high on my priority list?   i'd hafta drink so much bottled water while in europe.   heh, well, i guess lotsa places u drink bottled water.   man, if i travelled 4 tourism's sake like that, i'd want to do it a lot... why just go just a li'l?   why not live my life like a drifter, moving from country to country.   isn't that a glamourous life?   heh! man... i guess there's some middle ground btwn never getting out of this 2 horse town n' being an int'l man of mystery, huh?   ha ha ha.   but c, there's 'nother thing... this ain't no 2 horse town.   i live in the san francisco bay area.   san francisco is the #1 tourist destination, right?   man, n' tourism costs $$$.   tahoe has fresh snow.   will i ever snowboard in europe?   will i ever snowboard newhere besides tahoe?!

do all 25 yr olds think 'bout these issues?   "yuppy"?!   would ne1 call me a "yuppy"?   jeanna sed i was a yuppy on fri, pting out that i am young, urban, n' professional.   but frick... i don't do the silicon valley thing.   i don't werk 4 some big financial company n' go 4 beer n' tapas w/ other yuppies after werk.   but i'm not a college student.   i'm not a grad student.   heh... man, do u get the feeling that this is sorta an angst.ridden entry?! ha ha ha.   what if all i did 4 a living was manage this webpage?   i'd make @ best 'bout $50/yr off of kickbacks from jerome's purchases from angelpop.   jerome buys lotta asian cds n' stuff.   hey, there's a company that we oughtta hit up 4 a uc open sponsorship!   go 4 it, jerome!

2day i'm driving kaela's kia.   last nite, kaela took my out to plearn thai restaurant 4 dinner.   i have leftovers 4 2day's lunch.   i need to grocery shop 4 office snacks tho'.   i don't have ne.   maybe i should buy some frozen dinners 4 lunches.   nuthin' wrong w/ eating frozen fud 4 lunch @ werk.   hey! matt easton signed the g.book.   funny, i have his cd right here @ my desk.   2 cds here @ my desk: kicking giant n' matt easton.   kaela thinks its funny that i'm so friendly when i talk to the albany ford subaru mechanics on the fon.   that's how i talk to contracted machinists @ werk.   i gotta be nice n' friendly.   i want to build a good bizness relationship.   hrm... it's not like i'm gonna ask the mechanics if they wanna go to a movie w/ us... but that'd be funny, huh?

[a li'l later]   i went to safeway during lunch, bought some office snacks.   i wonder if these pants' crotch is 2 tight.   i have 2 pairs of pants that rn't so baggy. s.mike, a long time 'go, told me that his gf @ the time bianca sed that i shouldn't wear such baggy pants cos i'll look better cos i'll look more mature.   i don't care 'bout that, but i do have a couple of pairs of jeans.like pants that rn't 2 baggy, n' i wear them to werk a lot.   i worry that looks funny; that tight crotch thing   what if i ran 'round in tights?

2day is presidents' day, but i'm @ werk.   presidents, politics... i haven't heard from phil in ages!   i'm @ werk, no holiday.   it cms like every1 else has a holiday.   it's been a pretty bizzy weekend.   on fri nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i took her sister jeanna out to a b.day dinner @ basque, a somewhat basque, spanish restaurant in the soma district of sf.   1 dish had grilled prawns n' scallops w/ red chilis.   that really tasted chinese to me.   i thought 'twas good tho'.   we had many small dishes, like tapas, i guess.   we ate a lot, but over a long period of time.   it was quite an evening spent on fud; lots of olive oil.   after dinner, we met up w/ taekwondo ppl hanging w/ master jang @ jefflyn's place.   there was master jang, jefflyn, andy, jerome, laura, roland, n' johnny.   we joined them n' played ddr.   they had eaten @ plearn thai restaurant.   we got really sleepy.

sat morn, nigel noriega picked me up w/ laura.   then we picked up johnny, then master jang.   we drove to half moon bay.   man, 'twas really cold n' rainy.   we bought some snacks @ safeway near half moon bay.   we mostly bought bread products: bread loaves, bagels, croissants, danishes, breadsticks.   we also had some oranges n' ice tea.   we got out of the car 4 1 picture near a seacliff.   we drove n' drove n' got sleepy, those of us in the back seat.   we went to a bomb@$$ salvodorean restaurant in richmond: tacqueria la bamba @ 12345 san pablo ave.   we had plantanos y yuca fritas, salavdorean tamales n' pupusas.   it was all really good.   i had nigel drop me n' master jang off w/ fud @ starbuck's on solano, where kaela had driven to, to study, w/ my car.   we were to meet up w/ liane soon.   i grabbed my umbrella, n' master jang n' i walked to the bofa in the rain.   i had used up all my cash @ la bamba n' on gas n' toll $$$, so i needed some more.   my left foot got soaked.   i guess that shoe has a leak.   liane picked us up from starbuck's n' brought us to 99 ranch, where we walked 'round, neoprinted, n' shopped.   master jang sed pure honey is expensive in korea.   he bought a few things 4 friends in korea; he sed they'll think he went to taiwan not america.   i bought kaela a tarepanda bag to hold her cd player.   master jang cmed to like the ah.mei song they were playing in the store cos he was singing 'long.   then we went back to liane n' nate's place in albany.   it's a really nice apt!   nate got his mba now n' is looking 4 a new job.   we saw pictures from their hk/china trip.   kaela joined us there, n' then we all went to oakland chinatown.   nate took us out to dinner @ "the oakland seafood restaurant," that's what it's called.   man, it was really good!   a full cantonese dinner.   then we took master jang back to chals's n' played the maracas game.   then chals left w/ a friend, n' we played some musik on chals's piano n' on the guitars.   it was really fun.   we saw a video of a jam session he had w/ 1 of his students from yonsei, who is a japanese ambassador, n' a couple others.   u know... master jang is really kewl... all this musik n' taekwondo stuff.   i really admire that.   he's like oscar de lahoya; ha ha.   seriously, it's like he does all these kewl things, like a hero in an anime cartoon.   i played guitar w/ him, n' he had kaela video tape it on his kewl digital camcorder.   u can play back ur videos on the lcd screen w/ sound.   it's really kewl.   eventually, we got sleepy n' called it a nite.

sun, kaela dropped me off @ the rsf n' then went to study.   i practiced by myself.   then we 168ed.   we bought a present 4 master jang.   then we did laundry.   then we picked up sandy n' erin n' went to the ucmap party @ club fusetti, by my office.   that was really fun.   it's 2 bad master jang couldn't make it; we still hafta give him his present!

[later] phil e.mailed me, telling me how bizzy law skool is.   kaela came to my werk during lunch.   i took her to a japanese restaurant called kamikaze in san rafael.   i'm going to drop my subaru off 4 service 2nite; i'll be driving kaela's kia 2morrow.   i gotta 'member to take my cal rec club parking pass w/ me!   there's a uc open mtg 2morrow nite, so i guess we can't have demo team practice.   life is of course bizzy.   u know, ppl my age fantasize that life'll get less bizzy.   'least i know i catch myself thinking my life'll be less bizzy someday...   but really... life won't get less bizzy, will it?   it'll be 'least as bizzy as this.   someday, i'll have a house... n' kids... n' a dog... n' life won't be ne less hectic!   u kidding?   maybe the house'll take care of the kids, n' the kids'll take care of the dog.   home automation'll come a long way, u know?   *sigh* but really... my saying "oh, life is so bizzy" is, in a way, a sign of immaturity.   i'm just in that stage.   i'm learning to take care of myself 4 real.   i dunno...   i'll always hafta werk 4 my $$$, u know?   heh! as if i should complain 'bout that!   ha, what do i expect?   that ppl ought to send me free $$$???   no, obviously not... so i'm saying, yah, it's a given, i'll always hafta werk 4 my $$$.   i'm not complaining; it's just a fact.   neway... there's that... the $$$ thing, n' then there's stuff in life i want to do.   'course i wanna keep doing taekwondo; 'course i wanna keep doing my musik stuff; 'course i keep snowboarding...   u know, this weekend, i realised what a shame it is that i don't play musikal instruments as much as i used to. why not?   cos i don't have time.   why not?   cos i must waste a lot of time writing this on.line journal, huh? *sigh*

u know... 1 thing i guess i do wish were different 'bout my werklife is that i'd rather werk w/ more ppl my age, huh?   back when i was just an intern, there was something special 'bout being the kid.   u could always surprise ppl w/ how much u can actually do @ such a young age.   but as a real engineer, if it's gonna hurtchur credibility to be the youngest guy 'round, then i dunno if it's such a good thing.p

sore = alive.   when my muscles r sore, i feel healthier.   'least if they feel sore like the sore u get from werking out, not the sore u get from sitting w/ bad posture while u werk @ ur 'puter; that's a bad kind of sore.   tues nite, we had that special werkout.   the mafit got most ppl sore.   mafit = martial arts fitness.   it's like taebo or cardio kickboxing, but it's more true to taekwondo.   that was part of our special 3 hr werkout.   last nite, thurs, i tried to werk my white belts hard.   i told them the beautiful kaela kang n' i went out 4 a big v.day dinner, so now i've gotta werk it off, so they hafta 2.   i borrowed jerome's boombox, had musik goin', n' we had more of an endurance werkout.   it was fun.   then i went over to the red/black class, after the white belt class, after master yoon came n' fetched me.   then we had demo werkout.   then some of us went over to jerome's to play pump it up, a korean version of ddr (ddr = dance dance revolution) 4 ur home pc.   [4 my older readers, lemme tell u... ddr is what kids r into these days.   it's this asian video game where u dance 'long to musik, following the steps they give u.]   raymond, johnny, kaela, n' i stopped by top dog to get dinner 1st.   jerome, laura, joc, n' andy were already @ the apt, watching simpsons.   we had a really good time.   jerome's room got so hot n' sweaty cos we were moving 'round so much.   it felt like summer.   i loved it!   ppl fanned each other w/ jerome's asian fans.   it felt like being @ yong.in that summer, 2 yrs 'go... cos we were sore from werkout n' sweating... it didn't feel like winter.   it also felt like summer cos we were having so much fun.   carefree summer!   it was good, but i got sleepy.   i had to take off my jacket n' pants cos it got hot.   don't worry, i wore shorts under my pants.   i usually wear shorts under my pants on my way to or from taekwondo practices, so i can change into my taekwondobok w/o going to the locker room.   n' also, i like to wear shorts under my dobok to keep my legs warm, 'least my thighs.   nowadays, i also wear a t.shirt under my dobok.   some1, i think master park, used to tell us not to; he sed it was inappropriate.   but i started to do it after chals told me to wear t.shirts under my dobok 4 demos cos it helps a skinny/slimmer guy like me fill out his dobok top, that way it looks neater.   then chals told the whole demo team started wearing t.shirts under their dobok 4 demos, so now lotsa us wear t.shirts under our dobok on a regular basis.   it's winter now; it's cold.   i appreciate the warmth.   maybe when it's summer, 'specially if i end up in korea, i won't want to be so warm.

i have a taekwondo idea i wanna try out someday.   we should have this demo techniques sparring session, where only jumping or spinning kicks score, n' if u get knocked down but manage to roll or fall gracefully, the pt is cancelled.   just an idea... 'course really sparring is always good taekwondo training.   that's what ppl like 'bout taekwondo, that in taekwondo training u kick the $#!+ out of each other.   but really... as u stick in taekwondo longer, u learn 'bout controlling ur strength when necessary.

lemme tell u, last nite i asked joon how his physiks midterm went.   from his response, i figured he must've felt i was asking an "annoying parent" question.   'twas like i was his dad buggin' him 'bout his skoolwerk!   butchu know, joon, that wasn't the pt... u know, it's not like that.   i want joon to do well in skool... oh yah!!! 1 other thing... if u wanna buy ur own set of pump.it.up 4 ur home pc (it's a good werkout!), u can buy it via my angelpop link! [later] u know, i've been eating a lot of red meat lately.   i ate burgers 4 lunch yesterday n' 2day.   i went to the overpriced mcyukyuk's by my office.   my cowerker tom saw me n' sat down w/ me as i ate my "big n' tasty" burger.   afterwards, i picked up my dry cleaning.   the owner remembered me from when i dropped it off on wed, i guess.

so last nite, i took the beautiful kaela kang to enrico's in north beach sf.   there was tons of traffic going eastbound over the bay bridge.   the valet in front of the restaurant parked my car.   otherwise, we couldn't have possibly found parking n' still had a pleasant dinner, u know?   enrico's has a bustling ambience, many young couples.   it has an outdoor patio n' an indoor dining room w/ live jazz.   it has some posters from some indian movies up on the wall.   i dunno why; it doesn'y really go w/ the restaurant that much.   maybe it's just to be alternative, u know? i s'ppose that's the beatnik spirit, right?   we had their v.day dinner n' a bottle of alsatian gerwurztraminer.   oysters, ahi carpaccio, weed salad, swordfish 4 kaela n' dead cow 4 beno, n' a chocodessert thingy... n' espresso/latté.   i sed coffee goes w/ jazz musik.   the band played classics that i 'member from my band days: "a train," "take 5," etc.   kaela was very beautiful, n' i really like how her dress had that slit up the side.   she gave me a fancy esq wristwatch.   i gave her a pair of diamond earrings.   i had been shopping 'round 4 those quite a bit n' was really picky 'bout the colour n' clarity, etc.   n' they had to be pure platinum cos kaela has metal allergies.   this was my 1st time buying diamonds.   n' 'pparently 'twas kaela's 1st time getting diamonds.   kaela is a very special gurl to me!   after dinner, we went to j.town n' neoprinted.   maybe someday i'll get back to posting pics on my page, then u'll c them.   v.day was a very special nite 4 us to celebrate our finding each other, to celebrate our love.   kaela sed, 4 us, everyday is valentine's day.   yes, i agree.   but last nite, we got the chance to celebrate w/ a nice nite out.

even tho' we're not wine experts by far, we sure have tried lotsa different gewurztraminers, huh?   gewurztraminers often come in smaller bottles than other wines.   they r often from alsace.   maybe someday, we'll drink red wine.   i had a white wine w/ red dead animal.   however, gewurztraminer is good.

[later] during lunch, i dropped off my new watch @ nordstrom's to get adjusted 4 my wrist, got gas @ beacon in san rafael, n' got lunch @ the burger king drivethru.   on my way back, i saw club fusetti.   that's where the ucmap 2001 korea trip fundraising party is gonna be on sun.   if u wanna go, please buy ur tix from kaela cos she needs to sell 5 tix.   it's a pretty small club next to a furniture store.   i've gotta tell all my white belt students to go 2... n' they can buy their tix from kaela.   i'm kinda sore from tues's extended werkout.   eh! i should be in better shape than this!

re: joon's comments 'bout ethnicity

i read joon's v.day entry.   joon talks 'bout that topik that beno's always ramblin' on n' on n' on 'bout: asian.american ethnicity.   does beno ever stop talkin' 'bout this?!   hey, u know... i did!   i haven't talked 'bout it in a long while.   so well, lemme just say a few wurds right now since joon brought it up... heh! but i guess he'd say that i brought it up... ha ha. cos his passage starts by saying i wrote him an e.mail 'bout this n' that.

last nite was v.day nite, 'course.   kaela gave me a card along w/ the watch.   in the card she talked 'bout how she's taking her taiwanese language class to better understand my family's culture, n' how she likes that i've been so involved in korean culture.   i'm really touched that she is taking this taiwanese language class; that's more than either of my exgfs ever did to advance their knowledge of taiwanese.   n' it was funny to me as i read her mention in her card that she likes how i write korean cos i knew that, as i was reading her card, she was reading my card; n' i had written korean in it.   this all really makes me happy.   i'm really happy that our cultural lives mesh well.

i know, tho', ethnicity is complex.   i so much appreciate what kaela n' appreciate it more cos i know it's not a simple thing.   u know beno; he's always advocating this "pan.asian.american identity."   n' ppl ask, "what the phuc is that?!"   it really doesn't make sense to some ppl, it's even rather offensive.   it's as if i'm really advocating the "chink is a gook is a nip is a flip" idea that narrow.minded "rednecks" s'pposedly have, right?   what 'bout celebrating a particular asian nation's culture? what 'bout celebrating those things that make a korean a korean n' a chinese a chinese?   i read on goldsea.com a korean guy go off on how he so much hates the idea that chinese ppl try to say that koreans n' chinese r the same.   n' he went on to say that koreans r so much more evolved than chinese, n' that chinese have low ethnic self esteem n' drag koreans down by trying to associate the two groups.   he claimed that the chinese language only has as much to do w/ the korean language as latin has to do w/ english; that only a few technical wurds have chinese etymology.   k, to me, that was a very ignorant statement n' really convinced me that this guy doesn't know much of the chinese language.   but!!! don't get me wrong, here... i did say that ethnicity is complex.   i know better than to try to promote the "pan.asian ethnicity" concept w/o realising its flaws!

1st off, i easily c that the pan.asian.american movement would be a turn off to koreans.   shoot, it's often so chinese (n' japanese) dominated.   face it; there r just so many chinese in this country compared to koreans.   in fact, there r just so many chinese in this world!   so yah... often times the chinese majority has an unfairly bigger voice in the pan.asian.am movement.   butchu know, the more koreans r turned off by this, the less koreans'll contribute to the pan.asian.am movement, n' they'll have even less of a voice.   but that's almost beside the pt, i realise...   i can understand why some koreans'd resent being roped in w/ the chinese... well, besides the fact that some taiwanese ppl'll resent being roped in w/ the chinese... 1 reason is that u lose ur identity, that part which is specifically korean.   what 'bout all the great things 'bout korean culture? why should koreans neglect them?!

well, i've rambled some.   i think i'll just ramble off to an end...   u know we'll ramble 'bout this more in the future, so let me just stop here 4 now.

happy "i love kaela" day!   otherwise known as valentine's day or v.day or just v.d.   i dedicate my v.day to the beautiful kaela kang.   kaela's hot stuff.   i like!

well, i've already sed a bunch 'bout v.day.   i hope u r all having good v.days.

i should accept this current level of hecticness as the norm.   i should stop saying, "i'm so bizzy," cos this level of bizziness is the norm.   if i get bizzier than this, then i can say i'm bizzy.   w/ this level of bizziness, i should just say, "live is normal."   i eat a lot these days.   maybe it's just winter.   so yesterday, master jang arrived!   i saw him walking up bancroft w/ sam n' sung.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i were waiting in my car 4 demo team practice to start @ 830p.   i promised kaela that she could sleep in the car since i sed we shouldn't go up to the apt or else we'd fall asleep n' be late 4 practice.   i sat in the car n' listened to musik while kaela napped.   (speaking of nappiny, so napster's gone?   sucks.)   so 2day, we have a demo 4 efren's yellow belt class, then we have a special 3 hr werkout.   i'm leaving werk @ 130p, i guess... i wonder how master jang is.   he left practice early cos he had a really exhausting day dealing w/ his airplane, it cms.   besides that he prob'ly had jet lag.

2day is ken's b.day.   ideal paging n' cellular is changing its name to wireless dimension.   happy b.day, ken!   'course, he doesn't read this...   n' since he doesn't read this, lemme tell u... i think he ought to propose to his gf grace.   he really should.   i think he knows that i think he should.

so... can i mention that i just found out that liane got married?   heh, i think it ought to be ok since i mean... dang, it's a marriage! yah, she n' nate got married last week! last wed, they had a very small family ceremony.   i'm very happy 4 them.   it's very, very ironic, cos i was mentioning liane n' nate to chals in an e.mail last week, n' i was specifically talking 'bout a conversation that liane had w/ us 'bout the concept of marriage a while 'go.   weird, huh?

speaking of marriage n' love... didju notice that that "love is in the air" disco song is in 2 commercials? the camry commercial... n' that credit card commercial w/ the bunnies multiplying like crazy.   that's nice, huh? bunnies.   2morrow is v.day, n' love is in the air.

this weekend was an asian movie weekend.   the beautiful kaela kang was sick w/ a bad cold, n' 'twas cold n' rainy.   hey... u wanna c some pics?   raymond lee posted 'lotta taekwondo / demo team n' taekwondo snowtrip pics.   i know i've been very lazy 'bout posting pics lately, so... well, if u wanna know how my friends n' i look like nowadays, u ought to check out these pages.   we haven't changed much, right?   kaela's relatives tell her that she's gotten prettier in the past yr; n' i think they're right.   it's an honour 4 me that we're the subject of the 1st pic on raymond's digital elph; 1st pic ever.   i think he bought the camera as a christmas present to himself, after christmas.   it's a really nice camera.   i dunno if i mentioned this b4, but it's interesting that i have the original elph, brandie has the new n' improved elph, n' raymond has the digital elph.   elph's r kewl.

so it's been rainy; the roads have been slippery, but i try to be careful.   i try not to drive 2 fast, this n' that.   master jang inkwon'll be back in town this afternoon n'll be staying w/ chals.   i got a call from his friend in providence, rhode island earlier 2day cos his friend wanted to make sure chals knows where n' when to pick'm up.   i'm looking 4ward to hanging w/ him.   he's such a kewl guy.   this morn, chals n' i discussed taking him up to tahoe 4 a daytrip. heh, that'd be kewl.   i hope we can do that.   if so, i really gotta wax my board.   actually, u should wax ur board right after u come back from the slopes; u should store it waxed.   nuts.   i werk really close to any mountain, the snow/outdoor store.   i ought to take my board in.   i'm just 2 lazy to bring it down to my car in the morning.   i'm taking 2morrow afternoon off from werk cos we have 'nother taekwondo demo to do 4 the yellow belt class, n' this demo seminar to put on 4 a combined green/blue / red/black class.   i told chals maybe i can show master jang 'round on tues afternoon.

oh yah, here's 1 of raymond's pics of me in mid.air during a "halo" kick.   it's a really funky pic cos it's all blurred.   i don't have all that many action shots of myself.   i have several of myself doing my jump spinhook break over some1's head, but i like having a pic of me doing something else, like this "halo" kick.   s.mike 1nce sed how it's really important to videotape ourselves doing fancy taekwondo stuff now, while we're young, in case we can't do them when we're old.   ha...   *sigh*   u know, tho'... young / old... it's all so subjective!   frick, u got 40 yr old guys who r so much more agile than some 20somethings who claim they're over the hill 'ready!

[later]   so chals is having 1 crazy day trying to pick up master jang.   this morning, master jang's friend sed master jang'd be @ oak airport, but chals can't find him there n' is wondering if maybe master jang's @ sfo, since that's what his original plans were.   so i wonder where we should take him.   there's practice most nites.   wed nite is valentine's day, so i'm out.   if it were ne other wed, it'd be a great nite to take him out.   man... it's so hard to fit all the things i wanna do into a normal week, right?   like, i still gotta go down to meet up w/ ken sometime cos 1) it's his b.day 2morrow, 2) i gotta pick up laura's disposable cell fons, 3) i gotta pick up ken's uc open ad.   his store's name is changing from ideal paging n' cellular to wireless dimension.   i'm surprised no 1 else has taken that name 'ready.   well, there's lotsa stuff i wanna do, but i never have time.   then, when the weekend comes, i'm 2 tired to do those things.   i get all lethargic, this n' that.   it's cold these days; i don't feel like moving; i get lazy!

lemme tell u tho'... i have 1 assignment 4 the young ppl reading my journal; that's to watch yellow, a low budget independent movie, 1 of the videos we rented from reel video on fri nite.   yah, kaela n' i rented some movies after eating @ cafe tibet on university by the uc theatre.   i think roger ebert called it "a korean american graffiti."   kaela compared it to the john hughes brat pack movies.   i never really watched american graffiti.   well, the cover sez it's 'bout some teenagers in l.a. koreatown running 'round to do something 'bout some stolen money.   it's an alterna.asian flick.   the soundtrack has songs form kicking giant.   'member, i mention kicking giant now n' then in my journal.   i 1st bought their cd just cos george chen of zum fame mentioned that he liked the group so much.   he ran 4 asuc senate or something w/ the anti prop 187 party n' had these campaign flyer's that sed "alien i.d." on them... they were these li'l green cards... literally, green cards.   the kicking giant album is called alien i.d..   kicking giant is a 2 member ensemble of just a korean.american dude playing electric guitar n' singing n' this caucasian gurl playing drums.   that's an unusal combo, i mean guitar n' drums n' nuthin' else.   @ the time, when alien i.d. was new, lotta ppl thought it just sounded like noise.   butchu know? it turned out just to be the future of alternative rock.   n' it's good stuff.   i'm glad they used kicking giant musik in yellow.   really, altho' it takes place in koreatown n' most of the characters r korean, this n' that; it's definitely a very pan.asian flick; in that i think asian.am kids of all ethnicities'll relate to it, 'specially the parent.kid relationships.   i'm guessing the actors, actresses, producers, etc. or of my generation.   altho' the actors play high skoolers, they look older.   n' i dunno... the whole alterna.asian scene is a lot more of a thing of my generation n' earlier.   younger asian.am kids rn't so much into that; more into... i dunno... like doing the "asian" asian thing, listening to musik from asia n' stuff like that.   but hey... u know, let's not overgeneralise!   neway, this is my assignment 4 all my younger readers.   4 older readers, it's only optional.   butchuknow, who wants to be called "old"?!

*sigh* well, it's been a long werkday in corte madera.   every so often chals called me to update me on his picking up master jang from the airport.   toby talked to me 'bout 'puter stuff.   he sed he saw me n' kaela's dine.com reviews.   that's good.   i wonder where he's taking his sweetie betty 4 valentine's dinner.   i wonder.   our reservations r @ 800p; i just 2x checked.   so i won't be hangin' w/ master jang on wed nite, no.

i won't do a real weekend wrap up this mon cos kaela summed it up well in kaela's journal.   i bought a black bucket hat from br.   it was kind'a a rip off i guess, but kaela liked it so much when she saw me try it on, so i went ahead n' got it.   u know, how can i guy resist that kind of thing? a beautiful gurl telling u u look good in this or that... u know?   u just hafta buy it.   'course female sales associates try it all the time, right?   i mean, if they get commission.   well, i have this black bucket hat, n' i like having it 4 wearing on my head when i walk in the rain.   that way my hair doesn't get 2 wet.   it's a rain hat, i guess.   i won't wear it all the time.   just now n' then.   i don't wear hats much.   i don't wear caps much.   i wear beanies when i snowboard, beanies or caps.   i like the idea of beanies tho'.   i'd like to wear beanies more, like as normal, casual fashion, but i don't.   i used to, back freshman yr, when ken n' nelson gave me this blue beanie... i don't have many pics of myself from freshman yr.   i also wore lotsa bandanas n' head bands n' stuff like that back then.   my hair grew long then, 'member?   on sat nite, we saw crouching tiger, hidden dragon 4 a 2nd time.   i noticed zhang ziyi blows out a lot of candles.   what does that symbolise?   if i were studying the movie 4 a class, i'm sure the ta or prof'd discuss that.   i think they'll be announcing oscar nominees 2morrow morn, right?   k, i'm gonna go now.   u can still do my v.day g.book, u know.

it's raining 'gain.   i'm glad cos i haven't been able to go up to the slopes lately, n' i was gettin' worried that all the good snow'd melt 'way.   now we got fresh snow, i hope.   last nite, the demo team did their 1st demo of the semester; 'twas 4 my white belt class.   it went well.   i feel better.   i was feeling so out of it n' clumsy b4.   yesterday was a good day.   i got to leave werk @ a good time.   no traffik.   i found a bomb@$$ parking spot @ the rsf.   i was there early.   i think i got a good parking spot cos the beautiful kaela kang told me that she had parked her car @ the rsf in the best spot n' that she hoped that i got good parking.   yes, i did.   we did our demo.   then i went back to teaching class.   afterwards, the demo team goofed off a li'l trying crazy kicks.   then i drove deanna, mikey, johnny, n' raymond to steve's bbq n' we had a quick dinner.   kaela went home early, right after the demo cos she has a conference 2day n' sat.   i managed to get home from steve's bbq almost within my 1100p curfew.   ha ha.   i got to werk early.   it's funny cos my manager is out of town.   u'd think i'd slack off n' get to werk late, right? but nope!

hey, thanks peeps 4 signing my special valentine's day g.book.   thanks to: roland, the beautiful kaela kang, jerome, n' toeki.   i've been so bizzy @ werk lately, so i didn't get to thank u earlier.   if u haven't yet, yah... please do.   also, feel free to leave a benoquote.

so yah werk's been very bizzy, but it has been a good bizzy.   it's a bizzy that makes me feel good.   i get lotsa stuff done, n' i feel that i'm actually sometimes being properly recognised 4 the stuff i do.   it's days like this that make being an engineer worth it.   man... otherwise some days i feel like crap.   1 prob w/ being an engineer werking w/ lotsa bio ppl... 1 thing an old ebmud cowerker friend of mine warned me 'bout when i was sorta thinking 'bout interviewing w/ genentech... is that bio ppl r all ph.ds, etc... n' that makes them not respect engineers much... well, compare that to how we were @ ebmud: the engineers had engineer's degrees, while the other employees usually have less education.   so... u can imagine how things'd go there in comparison, right?

neway, nuff talk 'bout werk!   whadabout what jerome sed 'bout v.day?   didn't i mention b4 that that was how i felt 'bout v.day in my single days?   i'm sure u can find it in my old beno journal.   1 sec... bingo! from "vd2000," on 14 february, 2000, "i vaguely remember a time not 2 long ago when i sed, 'valentine's day is really dumb.   i understand celebrating a couple's anniversary or 1's partner's b.day, but valentine's day?   it makes no sense.'   yah, i think i sed that."   that's the only reference i can find in the old beno journal, but i'm sure i sed more elsewhere.   'gain, this yr, i'm a li'l excited 'bout v.day, as i was last yr.   i dunno... v.day is 4 lovers, 'course.   let's think 'bout my last singleman v.day.   hrm... i think 'twas that time i went to san jo w/ phil to buy a 'puter from ken, n' we hung out w/ ken n' nelson's friend ada n' her friend mami.   we ate breakfast @ the original pancake house n' mallratted 'round valley fair.   i think that's how it was.   phil, can u verify this?   in fact, phil, answer via my g.book, so every1 can know.   so i have a much more idealistic view of v.day these days, right?   i think certain guys ought to propose to their beloveds this week.   that's my opinion.   i mean, i have 'least a coupl'a specific guys in mind.   lemme tell u, i'm more excited 'bout v.day cos of this: i made those dinner reservations a while 'go, right? since then, i hadn't thought 'bout the restaurant much.   i knew i picked it 4 it's ambience more than 4 it's fud; but yesterday, i read that the chefs came from chez panisse n' olivetto, so i guess they must be good... unless they got fired from those places 4 being bad chefs!   ha ha.   nah, i also read the menu 4 this place on.line, so i have a good feeling 'bout the place.   oh, it's not going to be a surprise 4 kaela.   i told her it won't be a surprise, but i haven't told her the place yet.

k, still i haven't discussed jerome's comments.   well, no; ppl shouldn't save saying "i love u" 4 1 specific day, no way!   that's 'course bad.   is it really "the most depressing day of the year"?   hrm...   well, don't more ppl commit suicide on christmas?   i don't think ne1 should take it 2 seriously... i mean, if u r single n' would rather not be single... don't take it hard.   really! 'member how i always sed u gotta find the right person, not just nebody?   well, i still say it.   singlehood can be fun.   really; think 'bout it.   i had fun when i was a single guy, altho' i always felt i wasn't a good single guy.   what i meant by that was that if i had been a good single guy i woulda been a big playa n' gotten 'round n' all that, right?   but no... hrm... well, let's think 'bout what was positive 'bout my singlehood!   hrm... what was i like back in those days?   ha!   k, i dunno.   i guess i had a very set routine: i'd wake up, go to werk, come home, sleep, go to taekwondo practice, go out to eat, come home, shower, e.mail 4 a long time, then go to sleep.   i was very social.   i went out a lot.   i didn't sleep much.   i played a lot.   hrm...   i dunno. 'twas fun, but i have fun now... my life is different, but some things don't change.   i think my life is still fun.   hrm... well, lotsa things that have changed didn't necessarily change cos i'm an attachedman.   i mean, stuff like how ppl don't goof off as much nowadays... that's just cos, man... p. crew was psycho in those days, i guess... ppl really let loose n' goofed off!   maybe those were, in general, playful days.   maybe lotta ppl were graduating that semster n' were taking less classes or something.   n' some ppl were freshmen who maybe knew to take easier classes.   n' maybe the economy was better then, ppl were making big bucks off of cisco stock, so they had more $$$ to waste on going out, going to movies, going to restaurants.   maybe so.   "u know what i blame this on the breakdown of??? society!" ha ha ha.   u know that simpsons quote?   please discuss it.   don't think 4 a second, tho', that i wish i were single 'gain. nope, i'm very happy to be w/ kaela.   i was just saying that life wasn't "bad" when i was single.

[later] it hailed 2day in corte madera.   so what's up w/ these doggies attacking ppl?

i ate a peanut butter n' turkey sandwich @ lunch.   u don't think that's gross, do u?   i used to make breakfast sandwiches w/ egg, ham, n' peanut butter.   roman meal bread; i had 4gotten which brand of bread i bought from safeway, but i knew 'twasn't mrs. wright safeway bread, n' 'twasn't home pride.   i eat cheap lunches to save $$$, but my cowerker chris asked me if i wanted to go to an indian buffet 2day.   i already had my plans to eat a pb n' t sandwich, so i told him no... but then i thought 'bout it, n' yah, i do wanna go to indian buffet; so we agreed to go 2morrow 4 lunch.

u may have overlooked that yesterday was a 2x header journal day if u checked 2 early.   the 2nd entry was "leftover beans."   please sign my special special valentine's g.book.   k, i gotta bust out of here!   it's late!

this weekend turned out so much better than how it started.   fri eve, i was pretty stressed out n' uhappy in my office.   i felt really ick!   *sigh*   then i came home.   it was pretty late, but i was determined to watch the movie choonhyangdyuhn.   kaela n' i rushed over to the theatre to buy tix 4 the 930p show.   u know, it wasn't crowded @ all.   i thought there'd be more interest in korea's official entry into the cannes film festival.   most of the ppl there cmed to be just typical film buffs who r prob'ly @ the uc theatre every nite to watch every indie n' foreign flick 'round.   neway, we didn't have much time to eat so we went to the chinese buffet next door.   it was pretty lousy.   i hope to never go there 'gain, but we didn't have much time.   i really liked the movie.   i hope u get a chance to c it!   we wanted to do something after the movie got out, but no 1 else wanted to do nething.

sat, we went out w/ my mom to look @ houses.   then we had a late lunch @ 168.   we hadn't been there in so long!   we bought some groceries from 99.   we came home.   jerome picked us up w/ laura n' joon, n' we went over to brandie's 4 a get2gether.   there was pizza n' drinks.   kaela n' i fell asleep on brandie's livingroom floor.   her bf bruce drove us home in the morning.   bruce is a kewl dude, really nice.   he's an firefighter 4 the oakland fire department.   he spends so much time w/ brandie in berkeley n' albany, but he has a house in oakley, up by antioch.   this morning, i was talking 'bout houses w/ him.   [oh, by "this morning," i mean sun morning, cos it's 1244a on mon morn... which i consider sun nite.]

sun, well, i took kaela to taekwondo practice.   i practiced a li'l, but i stretched a lot.   i used to be much more flexible.   this weekend had such beautiful weather.   that's good cos warm weather helps me stretch.   i saw lotsa hapkido ppl i haven't cn in a while.   after practicing, we looked @ 'nother house in albany, but i thought 'twas really rundown.   we went to dinner w/ sandy huang.   chals was s'pposed to come w/ us, but he's really bizzy moving into his new place.   it's 2 bad café chulho died.   well, 'twas good to catch up w/ sandy.   i hope we c her 'gain soon.   she sounds really bizzy w/ werk/social life.   she'll mix werk n' social life; i don't.   she saw dave's condo.   i haven't cn it.   oh yah, where did we eat?   kaela n' i were hungry n' couldn't get ahold of sandy, so we went to 4age 4 fud.   she wanted jjajangmyuhn from yeitnal jjajang, but when she saw that new happy family korean/chinese restaurant 'cross the street that we've been wanting to try, she asked if i wanted to go there.   so i agreed.   it's funny cos this is 1 place u really can order in half korean n' half chinese... that's how i did it, since i don't know the chinese names of kkanpoongsaewoo n' palbochae, n' i don't know the korean name 4 kongchingchai.   i also ordered jjajangmyuhn.   there's s'pposed to have hand.pulled noodles, but our jjajangmyuhn didn't.   they have more of that kind of stuff that other restaurants i've cn, tho', stuff like tantanmien.   i'd like to go back some time.

oh yah, @ brandie's house, linda n' her bf rick brought over their parrot jessie.   jessie's a lotta fun!   well, a new werkweek starts 2morrow.   i hope this week'll be better than last week.   i really do!   *sigh* 2nite, while talking to sandy, i realised that i gotta think of this job as not such a permanent thing... not that i plan to quit... but i shouldn't think i'm set 4 life.   c, if it were an "internship" i'd definitely consider it as a means of getting from 1 place to 'nother.   well, even tho' it's not an internship; i gott realise that i surely could have places to go from here; it's not a final destination.   i dunno... just something i started think 'bout while talking to sandy...   cos i was saying that lotta ppl cm to be in not.so.permanent jobs right now; like they're werking @ jobs that i know they don't wanna do 4ever.   u know, like they're applying 4 law skool or something 2.   well, yah, i dunno what's 4 beno.   we'll c.

in the meantime, check out joon's page!!!!

leftover beans

[during lunchbreak]   i ate string bean leftovers w/ rice n' kim as my lunch.   i wanna quickly write 'nother journal entry.   2day u get a 2x header!   i also drank a 7up w/ my lunch, so u know.   my office provides us w/ free sodas n' chips, 'member?   why don't they just buy me some healthier stuff?   they also give us chocolate now n' then.   2day, the apt. manager in my bldg is s'pposed to have some ppl inspect all the plumbing.   i think they wanna save $$$ on their ebmud water bill; that's all.   my toilet tank has a slight leak.   it has some other problem that i hafta fix now n' then.   a few yrs 'go they took off the original shower head n' put on this low flow head.   since then, they also cm to have turned down the water pressure even more.   so i put the old head back on.   i know they won't like this.   last nite, i put the trickle trickle shower head back on.   i had to borrow a wrench from toby.   i 4got, when i reinstalled the good shower head, i borrowed a wrench from werk.   neway, these r pretty unexciting details 'bout my life, huh/   sorry.   heh! n' u thoughtchu were getting a good deal w/ this 2x header thingy! ha!

well, here... lemme ask u 4 a favour... hrm... that makes me think of yooseungjoon's uhm... not so right english @ the beginning of "bootakhae."   neway, visit my g.book n' 'specially answer my special v.day questions.   heh...   well, shoot!   i didn't say whether or not i already got the beautiful kaela kang a v.day present or not, did i?   i'll say w/ all honesty this: i made reservations 4 v.day dinner a while 'go.   i'm not always a last minute guy, u know.   v.day is next wed.   wow, time flies.   ok, i'd better get back to werk.

the sun has been staying up longer these days.   'round 500p, 'round the time most ppl leave werk, it's still light.   i look outside n' feel optimistic.   then i realise i don't leave till 'least 630p n' it'll be dark by then.   then i get sorta depressed.   *sigh*   housekeeping is hard werk; but werk is hard werk 2. do have the vcd, but   i was so tired last nite.   i cooked a whole mess of pasta w/ lotsa shrooms.   i cooked nuff to have plenty of leftovers.   [k, i editted out a big passage here where i just whine 'bout werking life.   'twas way 2 whiney.]

so am i going 'bout life right?   the way i c it, if i'm going 'bout life wrong, then i'm on a path to a midlife crisis someday.   but if i'm going 'bout life right then i'll be fine when i'm in my middle age.   what's gonna happen to me?   i dunno. yesterday, 1 of my cowerkers had his mom visit the company.   she told us she in skool now.   hey, wouldn't that be a great idea? quit werk sometime in those later yrs n' go back to skool...   i guess it depends on what i'd be studying. *sigh* neway... this entry is still 2 whiney, n' i think i'm just gonna end it here.

we have nice weather now.   geez, i wish i could be snowboarding right now.   hitting the tahoe slopes makes bay area storms worth it.   we have a very blue sky 2day, here in the bay area.   it's not really warm, but it's not 2 cold.   i've been very bizzy these days, n' my back n' neck r starting to get sore like b4, altho' they were fine after all my vacationing.   but it's not as bad as it was back in the december, b4 all the vacationing.   yesterday was really bizzy: werk was bizzy; then i went to teach the white belt taekwondo class, then i joined the black belt class already in progress, then i practiced w/ the demo team.   *sigh*   i was pretty disorganised last nite.   in fact, i think master yoon was a li'l disappointed w/ my taewkondo last nite, but my mind was just so cluttered, taking care of all sorts of things.   last nite was my 1st nite teaching white belts in 3 yrs.   i hafta get used to teaching beginners 'gain.   i was a li'l 2 easy on them last nite, but i just wanted to make sure i didn't kill them.   i know, when i led an all levels werkout 1nce, dave yee told me i killed every1.   so i wanted to avoid that...   but i'll be letting my students know that werkouts'll get tuffer.   last nite was just an intro.

yesterday was so hectic.   2day, i feel a li'l more relaxed, but i do expect the semester to be very bizzy.   i hope i get to go snowboarding now n' then.   i was pondering snowboarding this weekend, but now it looks like i best skip this weekend.   maybe we can go next weekend.   i still gotta plan the taekwondo bear valley snowtrip.   that's gonna be a day trip.   even tho' i managed to do all the driving 4 my car last trip; i dunno if i'm up 4 driving the whole time on a day trip.   i'd need to rotate drivers.

i'm full right now.   i haven't gorged myself in a while, but i'm definitely full right now.   last nite my bodyfat %age was 9.8, lower than b4.   i guess i'm exercising more.   also i haven't stuffed myself in a while.   that's a good thing; it's good to eat well, but not stuff urself.   well, actually... i think we stuffed ourselves @ xanadu n' shanghai 1930, right?   but those were not 2 unhealthy of meals.   i went to safeway @ the beginning of my lunchbreak.   i bought some things to make pasta w/ mushroom n' vegetables.   i also bought some sandwich ingredients n' brought them back to my office 4 lunch.   i made 1 decent size sandwich, n' i ate it.   then every1 in the office started grabbing these leftover il fornaio italian sandwiches from a mtg that had 2 much fud n' was done.   i grabbed a veggie sandwich.   these sandwiches look like turtles.   i was quite full after eating my own sandwich n' this turtle veggie sandwich.   i sorta felt like i shoulda cn if ne1 else wanted that turtle cos 'twas the last 1.   it didn't look like ne1 wanted it.   maybe i should'a only taken 0.5.   i know i need more veggies in my diet right now.   actually, lately i've been carboloading like crazy.   i mean, look @ my last entry n' all the pancakes i ate.   mon, i had a very carboful lunch.   i was planning on eating more proteins 2day cos i gotta let my muscles rebuild after these recent werkouts.   neway, 'nuff 'bout my diet.

after practice last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i dropped johnny off; then we bought some fud from northside andronico's: some thai style noodle salad n' some bbq chicken wings.   we had a late dinner, i guess.   we dropped off the ranma tapes @ reel video.   i tried to help this man find his spare key under his truck's bedliner, but 'twas 2 hard to get out.   i hope he made it home ok.   i would'a helped, but we were so pressed 4 time.   we went home, ate, n' i did laundry, just the darks.   the idea of doing laundry isn't as daunting when u just do 1 load @ a time.   if u try to do it all @ 1nce... 'least if i try to do it all @ 1nce, i think, "man, this'll take 4ever!" n' i procrastinate.   housekeeping takes time.   last nite josh left me a note 4 the pg&e bill 4 the last 3 months.   i left him a check.   that's the most communicating we've done in a while.   but that's fine.

i'm glad i have my 'puter up n' running.   i've been trying to make some compilation cds of korean gayo 4 kaela, so she'll have a nice collection.   n' i'd also like a nice collection, some compilations.   so i'll be burning her some compilation cds soon.   i borrowed a coupl'a cds from jerome on mon nite.   we went over to jerome n' andy's after practice on mon nite.   kaela brought over some party sandwiches from her mcb club thingy where she spoke to undergraduates 'bout publik health skool.   i saw lotsa old cds i want to borrow from jerome... i think sometime soon i wanna make a compilation cd of gayo songs from like 2 yrs 'go... soon to be classiks, u know?   jerome has lotsa that stuff.   i'd like to make 'nother benomix soon, but whew! where am i gonna find the time?!   i tell u... i was having a really hectic nite last nite, but when i walked into the black belt class n' jason was playing benomix3, i felt better, more relaxed, more confident.   the cds sort'f an accomplishment i guess.   so i guess i felt more reassured 'bout myself in general.   still, things were hectic last nite... balancing teaching n' leading the demo stuff.   n' then there's uc open stuff to take care of 2!   man, oh man!

on fri nite, choonhyang opens in the bay area.   since i don't plan to go snowboarding this weekend, i'd like to go watch that on fri nite.   i read the story of choonhyang in folklore books, so i already know how the story goes.   i guess this is how it is w/ ne new movie that's based on folklore or ne old story, right?   u can only hope that the acting etc. is really good, cos the story's not gonna change.

u know... maybe it's not that easy balancing my bizzy werkday n' taekwondo, but i really want to do it.   lemme tell u... there's lots'a ppl who have put their careers on hold 4 taekwondo; i know a few engineers who quit their jobs, n' i know they do a lot of taekwondo now, like micah n' patrick n' others.   n' man, 'course there's lots of ppl who quit taekwondo to focus on their careers n' be yuppy scum n' get fat off of corporate lunches... such as that turtle i ate 2day, right? ha ha.   but really!   man, that ain't the life 4 me either... no way!

i'm having a lousy mon morning.

[later, in the evening] well, i survived 2day.   phew.   what a terrible day!   it was hard waking up even tho' i had a decent amt of sleep.   then everything just cmed to go wrong @ werk 4 me.   i managed to escape 4 lunch.   i went to the mall n' bought a jerk chicken soup bread bowl @ boudin.   i browsed 'round the mall a li'l.   when i got back to werk there was more trouble 4 me.   i was really frustrated w/ my job.   *sigh* my sore back/shoulder is coming back.   i guess it's all due to stress.   after the big snowboarding weekend, i stopped feeling it, but now it's starting to come back.

the whole weekend, i had ideas 'bout what i wanted to write here 2day, but i 4get.   lemme tell u tho'; i'm very thankful of those who wrote e.mail to me after reading my journal entry earlier 2day.   i don't mean to be so whiney here, really.   so thanks 4 putting up w/ me.   the beautiful kaela kang sent me this bush's beans jay & duke ads link that explained to me why my bean doggy wears a t.shirt that sez "roll that beautiful bean footage."   i've been confused.

well, how did this weekend go?   i could call it a settled down weekend or a chill weekend.   we didn't go out much; we stayed put.   fri nite, i took kaela to dinner @ "@sushi plus" cos we're s'pposed to get them to put an ad in the uc open program.   hey! if u want to advertise ur bizness in the uc open program, please let me know.   it's $150 4 a .25 page, or $20 to just get ur name mentioned.   neway, we had dinner there, then we stopped by reel video to pick up 2 more ranma tapes to watch.   we watched erin brockovich on fri nite n' saved the ranma tapes 4 later.

sat, we woke up early n' had breakfast @ fatapples in north berkeley.   then we went to the main stacks.   kaela studied, n' i read some books on korean folklore.   i had already read some of them 4 my 2nd dan paper, which actually got published in the ucmap monograph.   it's 'bout taekwondo folklore.   kaela wanted to read 'bout korean folklore, so she asked me to find some books, n' i knew where to find them.   i do like the main stacks; there r so many books there.   then we went to lunch w/ my dad, grace, n' steve.   we went to caf´ de la paz on shattuck.   i was surprised n' sorta disappointed that they were serving weekend brunch.   i was unfamiliar w/ this menu.   i didn't know what to tell ppl to try.   i didn't know what to order; so i ended up ordering corn pancakes; which was sorta lame cos i had pumpkin pancakes 4 breakfast @ fatapples.   *sigh*   my dad gave us a tape of the pbs show the pacific century n' some newspaper articles 'bout taiwan.   we watched ranma on sat afternoon.   we stayed in on sat nite, ate @ home.   we didn't do much; but got out long 'nuf to go to long's drugs n' safeway.

sun, we cooked lunch @ home.   we watched the pacific century tapes.   apparently, i had already cn the episode on confuscianism.   i didn't know until i saw it 'gain that day.   yah, 1 episode was on confuscianism, the other 1 was 'bout politics in south korea.   k, yah, it's true that young asians these days maybe rn't politically active 'nuf n' r just all 'bout pop culture, but i think young ppl all 'round the world r maybe a li'l less political, right?   well, haven't we heard that it's not that young ppl r less active; it's just that many r disillusioned w/ the usual means of political action.   eh! i dunno.   here, if u wanna think 'bout asian politics, check out this link i found advertised on angelpop: "turn your words into cold cash".   what is this 'bout?!   it's 'bout taiwan's independence.   u wouldn't know from the banner ad, but yah.   visit the link n' c 4 urself.   neway, sun!   sun, we loafed 'round.   i fixed up my 'puter.   now i have 1 of my old 'hd's in there 2.   i ran out of bays to mount it, so guess what!   i taped it to the case!   ghetto, huh?   but i wanted to grab some files off of it, n' i figured i might as well have the extra 2 gbs; ha ha.   man, i know it's ghetto.   well, sun nite we went to albany 4 a potluck.   'twas fun, but i felt weird; like i hadn't been 'round a big crowd of ppl in a long time.   weird, huh?   i was sorta out of it.

well, what else do i have to say?   u know, while strolling 'round the mall, i starting think 'bout a philosophy i have: there's no such thing as good or bad luck; it's just whether u tend to focus on the bad or good in ur life.   u can focus on all the li'l things that go wrong n' whine n' say, "my life is so bad!" or u can think 'bout what u've got in ur life thatchu love, n' say "my life is so good!"   u have a choice.   *sigh*   yah, that's a philosophy i have, but man... 2day things just didn't cm to go right most of the day.   i hope 2nite'll be better.

it's raining really hard in cm (corte madera).   strong winds, lots'a rain.   i hope this means lots'a snow in tahoe!   wow, it's hailing.   the hail sets off car alarms.   brrr... it's cold.   thunder, lightning.   the perfect storm, i guess.

well, frick... i was pretty frustrated last nite.   werk's been so bizzy.   the beautiful kaela kang n' i were s'pposed to go to a family new yr's dinner w/ my mom, grace, steve, n' steve's parents; but i was stuck @ werk!!!   my manager told me 'round 500p that we have this important mems dataset to image 2day, so i needed to figure out what beamsplitter filtercube to use...   so i stayed till 730p doing experiments n' analysing data.   *sigh*   so i missed the dinner!   i can't believe i had to skip the dinner 4 werk.   i was determined to have some sort of new yr's celebration, so i took kaela out to xanadu.   we had a good new yr's dinner there.   they had a special new yr's menu.   we had ahi sashimi, this good salad w/ miso dressing, a steamed 0.5 chicken, some snowpea greens w/ shrooms, n' a ginger beer gelato float.   it was really good.   but we ate pretty late; after all, i got home from werk pretty late.   we watched simpsons n' passed out.

tues nite was the the 1st nite of taekwondo.   there was a black belt mtg, but i missed that cos of werk.   but i barely made it in time 4 the promotional ceremony.   then the competition n' demo teams had werkout.   afterwards we were s'pposed to put up flyers, but so many ppl pretty much flaked.   johnny, raymond, patrick, kaela, n' i went to the durant fud ct n' posted flyers in the restaurant.   the coloured belts were already there.   we saw joon w/ doug's gf helen.   i ordered soojeibi from bear ramen house, so that we wouldn't feel so bad asking if we could post a flyer.   but then i took the fud n' sat w/ every1 else @ mandarin house.   i think the owner was sorta annoyed that i brought in outside fud, so i bought a hot almond milk boba to be an official patron there.   well, it was nice to finish the evening earlier than usual...   i wish 4 many more nites where i can say that.   i shouldn't stay out late.

all this taekwondo biz...   yah, we gotta publicise; let ppl know we exist.   n' we gotta put on the uc open tournament.   i'm trying to get biznesses to advertise in the uc open program.   kevin told me to talk to @sushi plus.   well, ok.   kaela n' i've only been there 1nce... but it's close to my apt., so we'll try.   i hope ppl'll wanna go there w/ me to eat a few times b4 i ask them.   well, i guess we don't have all that much time.

even tho' in general, i'm happy w/ life; some things make me a li'l depressed. like, werking late.   u know how i always say i don't wanna end up like thos "biznessmen" who werk really late, then go drown their stress in alcohol 4 a coupl'a hours, then come stumbling home to their families really late...   u know the stereotype.   'course i don't have a marriage or kids yet, but u know? i just wanna avoid that path in life.   but it's not like i don't want to be a hard werker...   u know? like that's why i liked the family man so much, cos it dealt w/ this issue.   i mean, i dunno if i'm even rewarded that well 4 all this effort, all this extra effort @ werk.   well, i guess i still don't know what's normal effort n' what's extreme.   how hard do other ppl werk?   i don't really know.   but i gotta werk to make money.  i gotta make money to pay the rent... n' it's so dang hard to find a new place to live cos rent is crazy!   it's really hard to find an affordable place out here... landlords must make so much money... but then why don't i just be a landlord n' buy a place? ha ha.   *sigh*   well, yah... but home prices r crazy high out here 2, of course.   so money, money, money...   but am i making 'nuf money?!   sometimes i'm not sure "hard werk" pays off.   maybe i'd make more $$$ if i spent more time shmoozing n' kissing up than werking hard.   u know?   i dunno... what makes money?   n' the economy's so skrewed up... i read a webpage 'bout alan greenspan's life.   *sigh* politics...   i tell u; sometimes these days, i wonder if the country's just gettin' a lot more conservative n' narrowminded.   n' that'll just lead to problems.   maybe we'll c this huge socioeconomic divide, n' every1's gonna hate each other.   every1'll be a scapegoat to some1 else...   when there's wealth n' goodtimes, there's less hatred.   when the wealth n' goodtimes isn't spread out, then every1 hates each other.   ha, k, so now it sounds like i'm a communist!   ha!   no, that's not the pt... since "kommunist" is such an evil wurd.   i'm just a simple guy who enjoyed the prosperity of the end of the century.   why can't we stick to those good ol' days?   let's not go back to the great depression of the late 80s / early 90s.   c, that makes me a conservative in some ways, right?   i just want the good ol' days...   ha ha.   but i'm a happy guy 'bout other things.   i'm happy that kaela's my gf.   i'm happy i have a safe car.   i'm happy my 'puter werks.

i didn't expect it to rain 2day.   this morning, the beautiful kaela kang asked me if it would rain, by which she was also asking if she should bring an umbrella or not.   i sed that i didn't think it'd rain 2day, but it'd prob'ly rain 2morrow.   upes.   but i had already put all my eggs in 1 basket as i was wearing wool pants n' a leather jacket.   nuts.   it's raining.   when it rains, the mail comes late.   that's how it pretty much always is, i think.

last nite, i left werk pretty much after i finished last nite's journal entry.   i picked kaela up from werk.   i listened to jaurim 3 in my car on the way back to berkeley.   i called joon, but he was out running w/ laura.   i called jerome n' found out how avaron was w/o us.   kaela n' i went to eat @ isobune on college.   she bought us dinner.   we sat @ a table instead of @ the boats.   then we went to blockbluster n' rented the princess mononoke n' erin brockovich.   we went to ben n' jerry's on oxford, n' i bought us some aisukuriimu.   we ate the aisukuriimu there, then we went home to watch mononoke.   we paused 4 simpsons.   we slept some, woke up, watched the rest...   what a weird sleep pattern, but sometimes i think it's exciting to have that kind of weird sleep pattern.   it makes me feel alive.   hrm... but maybe it's not the best 4 my health.   speaking of which, i tried out the bodyfat monitor scale, n' it werks great.   i wanted to werk more on my 'puter, but no time.

2day, i thought i could go out 'round noon during a break in the rain to get cheap gas in san rafael.   it turns out that the rain wasn't all that lite.   the roads were slippery.   i came back n' ate my lunch: rice, li'l chicken apple sausages, n' kim.   i brought 2 many sausages.   i ate quickly cos i want to have an efficient werkday so i can get out of here early to make it to the black belt mtg, but... *sigh* i dunno if that's gonna werk out.   i really should be there, tho'.   it's the beginning of the semester; i dunno how the semester'll go.   we haven't reached that steady state; definitely not.   we haven't "gotten into the swing of things," u know?   wow, can u believe it? it's spring semester?   days'll get longer; it'll be spring.   days'll get warmer.   the electricity crisis'll be one of the 1st big pieces of ca history 4 2001.

how'll this yr turnout?   yah, we haven't gotten into the swing of things yet. *sigh*   i feel sorta pessimistic cos of the president's politics.   i'd rather not be pessimistic like that, 'course.   the electricity crisis doesn't make me feel optimistic.   what'll happen this yr?   well, me n' kaela gotta find a place.   the latest e.housing listings rn't much help.   i wanna sell off those pieces of furniture: kitchen table, couch, bookshelf.   shoot, i'll sell them 4 cheap, whatever!   hrm... this yr... so what's gonna happen this yr?   i'll get my 'puter all nicely running.   should i upgrade the cpu?   eh, i'll think 'bout that later.   here's a resolution: i resolve to eat only 1 late nite meal a week.   seriously!   i mean, realisitically, i'm gona hafta eat a late nite meal now n' then... either cos we're eating after taekwondo practice or cos we're eating after clubbing or something... but i wanna do it less.   after practices, yah, we should socialise, unless ppl gotta study, but i shouldn't eat 2 much 2 late.   man, sometimes i wonder how the p.crew ever survived!   where did we find so much time to goof off?!   well, shoot! it didn't come w/o ppl sacrificing their academics n' career stuff, i guess...   *sigh*   so i dunno... i dunno if we'll ever goof off as much as we used to...   but u know... this is what i thought 'bout yesterday...   goofing off is bad! 'specially 4 students!   students shouldn't goof off... they should party!   instead of having "small fun" all the time, they should have "big fun" now n' then.   party hard 2 weekends a month, n' study hard the rest of the month.   really!   well, does that apply to a ol' werking guy like me?   yah, to some extent...   i don't have homewerk, but there r still things i gotta take care of on weeknites...   i gotta do housekeeping; i gotta maintain my 'puter; i gotta... this n' that... i dunno; lots'a stuff. *sigh*   goofing off uses time, energy, n' money.   video games r dangerous to students cos it's small fun.   they're not that satisfying/gratifying, n' they're so convenient n' accessible.   instead, think big fun!   if u must goof off; here, take this emode doggy test n' find out what "breed" of doggy u r!   make sure u let me know how u do!

so now it's been a whole yr since the beautiful kaela kang got 2gether w/ me.   sat was our 1 yr anniversary of going out.   i've been very happy.   this relationship makes me happy.   really, things r right.   kaela makes me happy.   she really does.

it was a relaxing weekend.   fri nite, we didn't do much.   kaela cooked some kalgooksoo.   toby called me 4 help on his 'puter.   i helped him over the fon, n' i told him, "geez, i might as well fix my 'puter."   n' i did!   i got my 'puter all up n' running w/ the new hd n' w/ both the cd.r n' cdrom drives.   that made me happy.   now i gotta install all the software...   my next project'll be to netwerk kaela's 'puter to mine.   we went to blockbuster n' rented some videos, but fell asleep b4 we could watch them.

sat...   happy anniversary.   *smile*   wow, 'twas the actual day!   well, we were pretty lazy when we woke up.   the shower had no hot water.   many mornings r like this.   so instead of getting a timely start to the day, we procrastinated by eating some lunch n' watching shanghai noon.   then we started the anniversary day.   we got dressed up.   kaela looked beautiful.   i took her to the sf asian art musem.   we didn't spend 2 much time there cos it closed @ 500p.   by the time we got there 'twas already 400p.   well, we had a good time.   then we took our time getting to our dinner destination but still got there b4 our reservation.   we had dinner @ shanghai 1930, an interesting chinese restaurant in sf's embarcadero area.   it's decorated like a 1930's supper club w/ jazz musik, etc.   the fud is very innovative, fancy chinese cuisine.   i think the best dish is "fish on a vine."   u gotta try it!   it's a beautiful restaurant, opened by george chen, the guy who started betelnut n' xanadu.   i guess, we've been to all his restaurants 'cept betelnut.   i really like these restaurants.   afterwards, we neoprinted in j.town.   altho' our huge dinner took a long time, we started relatively early, so by the time we got to j.town, stuff was still open.   we saw that some now crepe place is very popular.   maybe we can try it someday.

sun, we went shopping @ valley fair.   oh yah, b4 that, we ate @ mitsuwa market, what used to be yaohan.   after valley fair, kaela bought a cheesecake from shengkee 4 my mom, 4 new yr's.   we went home (san jo home) n' had hot pot w/ my mom.   then we went back to berkeley.   we went to kaela's sister jeanna's place, so jeanna could borrow some of our snowboarding stuff, n' kaela could borrow jeanna's hapkidobok 4 her hapkido pe class.   i wish i could take pe hapkido.   it'd be nice to get exercise in the middle of the day. *sigh*   geez, sometimes i wonder what life'd be life if i had a much more physically active career.   i mean, let's say i could exercise all day n' get paid to do that.   in many ways i'd feel so much healthier.

2day was a bizzy, bizzy day @ werk.   i didn't even get to eat lunch.   i managed to snag 0.5 a vegetarian sandwich, leftover from some mtg that i wasn't involved w/.   i received a present from kaela via fedex, an anniversary present.   she got me a bodyfat monitor scale.   k, maybe this sounds like a funny present to u, but really... i like it.   it shows kaela really understands me.   k, i'm not anorexic.   i always emphasize that guys like me don't want to be skinny; they want to be fit.   that's why i've wanted this kind of scale, so i know how much of my mass is muscle n' how much is flab.   n' this present means a lot to me cos, as i told her 2day via e.mail, this is the only relationship i've had that didn't fatten me up.   i discussed this w/ phil b4, a long time 'go, b4 kaela started going out w/ me.   we talked 'bout how guys in relationships sometimes "eat 4 2" cos ur gfs have u take them to fancy dinners w/ lots'a fud.   then they make u eat what they can't finish... it's as if u'r less a man if u don't.   ha ha.   *sigh*   i know that sounds like a bf blaming his probs on his gf... ha, but i dunno... to some extent, i think it's true that gurls sometimes do this... n' yah... in an unhealthy relationship, participants don't develop themselves nor maintain themselves...   so yah, some guys get all flabby or whatever after gettin' w/ a gurl.   to some ppl, this is just part of "settling down."   i don't believe that.   i feel kaela understands my philosophies such as these.

it's not yet the 1 yr anniversary 4 me n' the beautiful kaela kang, but it's almost.   2morrow is.   i'll spend all of 2morrow w/ her, just her.

i'm having a muddledheaded day 2day.   i cm to be thinking slow.   last nite, we went to practice @ 700p.   all the competition n' demo team members waited 4 raymond to finish the taekwondo club flyers, but he didn't finish them till the end of the nite.   we were s'pposed to go post flyers last nite, but now the flyering's been postponed till next tues, after promotionals.   i really think we ought to do it sooner tho'.   after werking out 4 a bit, we went to koko house 4 jason's 21st b.day.   it was fun, n' i hadn't been @ koko house in ages.   it was a good.sized group, n' we even got to c the elusive chals chang.   we went home pretty early.

this morning, some guy named kwang was s'pposed to come look @ my kitchen table to buy it.   he called 'round 900a n' told me he couldn't make it, but maybe his wife can call me back this weekend.   i got to werk a li'l late.   i felt so muddledheaded.   i had lots to do 2day.   i went to lunch w/ chris, my cowerker.   we went to the vietnamese buffet in san rafael.   we had some good conversation.

r u happy?   r u depressed?   there's big happiness, n' there's small happiness.   what i mean is this: let's say u got kicked out of the college of engineering.   man, u'd be pretty depressed, huh?   but u still have a chance to get back in.   so u werk hard, n' u werk hard.   maybe it's not the fun life u used to have when u goofed off all day n' nite.   butchu have a goal.   it's a very utilitarian life.   study, eat, study, eat, study, sleep... maybe u can fit in 1 or 2 extracurricular activities here n' there: maybe taekwondo, maybe churchstuff.   u live a simple life; ur goal is just to get good grades.   to u, this is depressing... but u still find small happiness.   u go out to dinner on fri nite w/ some friends, n' that makes u happy 4 a short time.   u find happiness in the midst of depression.   it's almost like celebrating in the midst of a bad life.   i think it's something like the idea discussed in the book joy luck club, not the movie, just the book.   but neway, even if u can c ne big happiness, there's always small happiness to be found.

i typed 'lot yesterday, n' 'twasn't all just rattling off events.   i felt a li'l talked out after that entry.   i wonder if u'r all listened out.   well, that's why the beno journal exists, so that i'm never 4cing info/411 or opinions down ur throats.   u can choose to visit my page.   this contrasts w/ when i used to write to the mourning dove ppl list.   mdpers didn't have a choice, they had to c my e.mails in their inboxes.   neway, after feeling all talked out yesterday, i still felt like there was 1 thing i haven't talked 'bout, but i wanted to talk 'bout...   man, i've talked 'bout a lotta b.s., huh?   i fully expressed my opinions on those 2 proposed new yr's resolution thingies: 1) figuring out whatchu want in a partner, n' 2) not being emotionally dependent in ur existing relationships.   i talked extensively 'bout those 2 resolutions in 2 separate entries: "boy gurl" on 09 jan n' "post snowtrip 2001" on 15 jan.   look @ me, already citing myself, so early in the yr... *sigh* neway, lemme tell u: i sorta had 1 other thing i wanted to discuss: the family man, the movie.

b4 i go on to discuss my thoughts 'bout the family man, lemme tell u.   if i were making a movie, some kind of dramatic romance or romantic comedy, 4 the soundtrack, i'd definitely take some tracks form matt easton's love ambition ep.   i took the liberty of calling it an "ep," since it only has 5 tracks; n' these days, "lp" cds have, hrm... more tracks than that, i think.   i recieved this cd in the mail a while back, back in december, but i never mentioned it here.   u can buy this cd @ matteaston.com.

a few weeks prior to viewing the family man, i saw what women want.   'member, i sed that that movie describes the life of a man's man.   perhaps, in some ways, nicolas cage's character, jack campbell, is like that...   i guess some ppl consider these 2 guys icons of male independence.   some ppl might think a guy who has corporate power, who has frequent sexual escapades, n' who lives by himself w/ the world's finest material goods, must be a successful, independant man.   consider 4 a sec, the bachelor; 'member how it opens w/ that nat'l geographicesque footage of african wildebeast or whatever being hunted down by cheetahs or whatever?   freedom, independence.   mel gibson used to yell "freedom!" in braveheart, n' i s'ppose he prob'ly fought 4 independence in the patriot, altho' i didn't watch it.   ha, neway, my topic isn't mel gibson.   btwn mel n' nick, i like nick better, as an actor.   never 4get that he got his start in valley girl n' fast times at ridgemont high.   just think, he played some punk outcast back in valley girl!   but u know, i'm starting to believe that hollywood actors r all the same: they might play this kind of character or that kind of character on the screen, but if u actually meet them in person, maybe they're all kind'a the same.   after all, weren't the ppl in drama club in hs all kinda the same?   i mean, they all belonged to the say clique, right?   so why should we believe that hollywood actors n' actresses actually represent a good spread/xsection of american society?   no, they belong to the same group of ppl, ppl who r good @ acting.   why should i believe n' hollywood actor relates to me?   heh, well, it's not like i really c many characters in movies that live my kind of life neway, right?   neway... i keep digressing!

so i might as well digress some more...   well, should i even believe that they r writers that relate to beno?   hrm...   how 'bout singers or songwriters?   i guess u can group all these kinds'a ppl as artists, altho' they rn't "visual artists."

neway, i wanted to talk 'bout the family man.   uhm, i'll prob'ly hafta ruin the movie 4 u in writing 'bout it.   u should go out n' c it, n' then come back n' read this.   ha ha.   uh, ok, lessee if i can do this w/o ruining the movie 4 u.   well, u know the basic premise of the movie, right?   jack campbell is a vicious biznessman, n' he's a single guy, no family, n' no regrets that he has no family or relationship cos he makes tons'a $$$.   he gave up a relationship, in his past, after college, 4 his successful career.   then 1 day, magically he gets put into a different life, where he isn't a successful biznessman, but he has a nice family n' marriage.   well, i've never lived either of those lives, so i don't relate necessarily to those specific examples.   but i do understand the idea of pros n' cons of having a relationship v. being single, the idea that u sacrifice 4 a relationship but u also gain.   yah, that's 1 thing... n' then yah... ppl have a desire to get somewhere in life.   maybe it's lots'a money... maybe it's to live a glamourous life, an exciting life, a famous life...   what do i want in life right now?

i think it's obvious that sometimes i just wanna play all day.   butchu know, i honestly think i'm better "focused" now... like, i want more to have a career, this n' that...   i mean, shoot... yah, sometimes i wish i could just play w/ musik stuff, do taekwondo, n' snowboard...   sure.   but i think 'bout a future, someday having a house, family, n' doggy... wait! i've always thought 'bout that.   yah, i guess so...   so i don't think i can claim that i've changed, can i?   not sure.   there's a difference btwn "settling down" n' "settling 4."   just cos u settle down doesn't mean u've settled 4 less.   i'm 25.   maybe i think 'bout career n' money, but i won't be a wannabe yuppy!   what if i were in bizness or marketing or whatever?   what if i wore expensive suits to werk every day?   then i'd be like nicolas cage's character...   but eh!   i don't need that life.   did i ever say i wanted a ferrari?   honestly, i don't want a ferrari.   i mean, if i had to drive 1, i'm sure it'd be fun; but i have no deep desire to own 1.   there's lots'a expensive luxuries that i know i can live w/o.   still i know i'm not the simplest human 'round.   i know i can be materialistic n/or vain sometimes.   yah, maybe i dine in fancy schmancy restaurants; maybe i buy expensive clothes; maybe i go snowboarding 2 much; maybe i just plain go out 2 much.   yah, i know that.   i know i'm enjoying all sorts'a luxuries in life.   hrm... but no, i won't letchu get 'way w/ saying that...   i've sed it b4, n' i'll say it 'gain that i'm not that frivolous; i'm not that spoiled.   i appreciate all the luxuries i get to have n' all the activities i get to do.

last nite, the beautiful kaela kang n' i went to toby's place 4 dinner.   he cooked us some chicken n' pasta.   it was really good.   i did some 'puter stuff 4 him; we watched tv.   we watched temptation island.   toby sed something, n' i was already thinking this: the couples that go on that show already have something wrong in their relationships if they'd agree to go on that show.   all those ppl want to be tempted.   they don't value their relationships 'nuff.   u know that quote that's in my benoquotes collection: "don't flirt. a lifetime of happiness w/ ur partner is worth a lot more than a moment's glance from a passerby."   really, if u value ur relationship, u wouldn't be on temptation island.   u wouldn't want the tempation even if u could resist it.   the temptations'd have no value to u, so why bother?   why did the gurls vote off a guy they didn't find attractive n' say they wanted to keep a particular guy there cos they did find him attractive?   if they really cared 'bout their relationships, then they wouldn't want the temptation, n' then they'd vote of the attractive guy, right?   oh, or they just want a challenge, eh?   but even still... it makes no sense.   toby sed that the he heard that the coupled off women on the show r hotter than the single women temptresses.   ha, maybe he's right.   really, i didn't find the ppl on the show very good looking.   it's no wonder they gotta be running 'round in bathing suits all the time to get viewer's attention.   i mean, i have nuthin' 'gainst women showing skin, unlike some ppl, but i mean... really, i don't necessarily think it's a good thing when a woman has nuthin' else going 4 her 'cept the fact that she's showing some skin...   i guess, in general, i don't like the show; i give it a thumbs down.   i wonder if ne couples break up over watching temptation island not even 'bout being on it.   ha ha.

yesterday, another semester @ cal started w/o me.   as i walk thru life, my skool days get left farther n' farther behind.   it's been a while.   the beautiful kaela kang started her classes.   if it weren't 4 her being in grad skool, would i notice that skool started?   yah, i would; i have many other friends that r still cal students, either grad students or undergrads.

on mon nite, i brought kaela w/ me over to toby's, after we finished eating dinner @ home.   toby needed help installing his zerus mach4 cpu upgrade.   i helped him, but it's still not operational.   toby's a smart guy, no doubt; but he isn't the wisest computer geek, u know?   but neither am i.   however, i guess i have a li'l more experience w/ 'puters than toby, 'specially since i werk as an engineer.   we watched the simpsons.   a while 'go i loaned toby a vcd laura brought back form hk 4 me, a long time 'go.   i thought the vcd was of armageddon, but toby found out 'twasn't; 'twas some stoopd b.movie 'bout a cloaking sr.71.   whah?!   oh well.   i ought to give him that vcd of swiri w/ the cantonese dubbing.

last nite, tues nite, kaela n' i made our big return to the rsf 4 taekwondo open werkout.   man, i can't believe i'll be hunting 4 parking 'gain.   i still need to pick up my new cal rec club parking pass, so that i can pay to use those underground rsf meters.   i can't believe i gotta pick up a pass, so i can use meters; it should be free parking!   *sigh*   every tues/thurs nite, i gotta be in the rsf n' teaching the white belts by 730p.   i'm wondering how i'll pull this off.   in the past, i would'a just parked my car @ home n' walked to the rsf, but uhm, i don't do that these days; i always drive.   so i'm wondering if maybe some other taekwondo person that wants to go the rsf by 730p would give kaela n' me a ride every tues/thurs... then i can be dropped off @ the front while the person parks.   i know that's asking 'lot 'bout i wonder if that'll werk.   i guess it'd either be 1 of my t.a.s, or else, even 1 of my students.   ha! i dunno... i gotta find something to help cos i can't be late when i'm the instructor.

this morning, i dropped kaela off @ the rsf cos she started her pe hapkido classes.   i almost 4got i had a 1000a mtg, but outlook reminded me.   i ate 3 doughnuts n' drank a decent.sized cup o' coffee @ the mtg!   crazy!   how can i kill myself like that?   last nite we ate a late dinner.   kaela cooked her maewoon jjigae, n' we ate the leftover costco rotisserie chicken from mon nite.   oh yah, we went to costco on mon nite.   dang, i keep 4getting to bring some of those costco snackfuds n' drinks to my office.   hrm, i dunno if it's good or bad to have lots'a snacks in my office.   it's good cos i'll have a diet where i constantly eat, thus raise my metabolism.   however, 'tis bad cos i'll just, in general, pig out 'lot, u know?   dang, i mean let's say i come into my office n' eat 3 doughnuts, then i snack all morning, then i have lunch, then i snack all afternoon.   that's definitely bad news.

joon, joon, joon...   well, my advice to all students is to limit the number of classes u take each semester; take it slow.   if u wanna do well in skool, get good grades, understand the subject material, then u can't take so many classes @ 1nce!   if i could've done skool my way, i would'a had 2 or 3 classes every semester, w/ a max of 2 technical classes, u know?   that's 'bout right.   maybe it would'a taken me 4ever to graduate... ha ha... but i think a program like that'd allow students to understand the material to the right extent.   (man, 'twas hard to choose the grammar 4 that sentence!)

i'm sitting here writing this journal entry on my lunchbreak cos i don't need to eat lunch cos i ate those 3 doughnuts.   but i ought to go out 4 a walk or something 2, huh?   but look @ me; i'm always so bizzy @ werk these days.   i had to skip my journal entry yesterday.   2morrow i have a company mtg; i shouldn't 4get that.

oh kewl, i just saw that phil posted on my g.book!   yah, phil; u'r the 1st post of 2001.   good job.   so phil had some strong opinion's on dunce's article.   i'm very happy that phil expressed his opinions.   it's good to have opinions.   n' i'm glad he expressed him self in my g.book cos that's why it's there.   (i'm thinking some1'll prob'ly wanna express his or her opinion 'bout phil saying, "he's korean, right?")   man, i guess it's 'bout time i try to overhaul the signing page, huh?   *sigh* i think htmlgear fixed all their bugs.   i gotta really update this website, in general.   i really haven't made many changes or updates in a while, besides writing journal entries.   kaela's scanner's not hooked up.   i gotta put my 'puter back 2gether.   but 2nite i'll be @ toby's helping him get his 'puter back 2gether.   but, really, i know all we'll be doing 2nite is contacting this unicore bios company to ask 4 their assistance.   toby could do that on his own, but i guess he feels more confident when i'm there.   ha! i know those i.t. dept tyrants or netwerk administrator types thrive off of ppl that feel like that...   when there r company employees that feel insecure 'bout using their own 'puters, i.t. ppl get a big power trip off of holding their hands.   i 'member 1 of those guys @ ebmud.   maybe he could'a gotten away w/ that w/ those aging civil engineers who had been werking there 4 decades, but geez!   don't ppl know that modern mechanical engrs know how to use 'puters?!   ahem, then 'gain why is my 'puter inoperational @ the moment?   ha ha.   well, heck, i'll tell u the exact situation: so i put in the adaptec 19160 u160 card.   i got the quantum atlas 10k 36gb ultra 160 drive in there, but i don't have win2k installed cos the system's not recognising my fast scsi cd.r drive.   what i ought to try next is putting in the u160 cd.rom drive n' using that to install win2k.   i was hoping to install the components 1 @ a time, but there cms to be a problem w/ the 50pin fast scsi line off the card...   something's not set right.   n' why is my cpu fan not running?   i'm not sure.   how long has it been dead? dunno.   n' so i'm thinking: should i just by a whole new cpu/muthaboard n' case?   there r decent deals on.line, but i always gotta wait 4 the stores to ship the stuff out to me.   neway, 2 much geek talk, right?

techies n' fuzzies... those r some terms yuppies, a li'l older than me, like to use, right? techies r those engineer/scientist types, n' fuzzies r ppl who graduated w/ nonscience/engineering degrees.   i don't use those terms.   then 'gain, i also don't live in silicon valley or werk 4 some big empire company.   but i did buy my own copy of the nudist on the late shift from half.com a while 'go.   'twas really cheap!   2 bad 'twasn't free.   spend spend spend isn't so good, i guess.   sometimes i wonder if i should'a sold all my stock when i had my chance back b4 new yr's.   but maybe i should keep the faith, believe that the market'll go up early this yr.   or is it that the republicans always lead us into recession just like george bush, sr. did.   'course i call that last recession a depression; 'twas the great depression of the late 80s / early 90s.   but real economists know the difference btwn a recession n' a depression.   whatever! maybe i'm just exaggerating, maybe i'm just stoopid 'bout economics stuff.

economics n' bizness: some guy name kwang sez he wants to buy my kitchen table.   that's good.   last nite, i cleaned it up.   i hope he likes it; i actually put time into cleaning it.   i wanna sell off that dinette set, my couch, n' vince's ol' bookshelf.   n' i wanna throw 'way that huge, hunkin' tv!   i'll need some help to carry it out.   can some ppl help me?

[a li'l later] man, i really know how to kill myself, huh?   i just turned this 3 doughnut day into a 4 doughnut day!   i got hungry cos no lunch...   well, maybe i can still throw 'way the 2nd 0.5 of this bavarian creme doughnut.   so much sugar 2day.   i got that bad sugar crash feeling.   there! i hucked the 2nd 0.5 of that doughnut into the dustbin.   be gone, u evil fried pastry!   ha ha ha... i was just thinkin' 'bout how chals called dogbert, "this round dog," or whatever he called him... he was talkin' 'bout that "be gone, u evil demons of stupidity" picture.   earlier, i was thinking 'bout ron odom.   he was a chemist i used to werk w/.   i designed n' made an electrophoresis device 4 him.   but he passed 'way last yr.   i don't know many deceased ppl, but i knew ron somewhat.   i didn't werk a whole lot w/ him, but i have 1 fond memory of when the cpmc hospital was having this employee appreciation party... n' altho' i wasn't a real employee of cpmc (just our company was renting space there), he told me to tag 'long w/ him to the party n' get fud n' drinks.   we got hors d'oeuvres, n' he told me 'bout his life history, 'bout his education, military experience, n' career.   it's the kind of story u can only get from an older person.

we came back from the big snowtrip yesterday.   big snowtrip: 26 ppl from all over berkeley taekwondo.   here's a list of the snowtrippers, the taekwonboarders: master yoon, joseph yoon, beno hwang, the beautiful kaela kang, young bang, laura chan, christina fu, brandie barrows, mehagan hopkins, shinelun nee, roanna medina, riam firouz, andy wang, clarence lao, mark sales, petr kalab, joon kim, davina jackson, jason han, raymond lee, jerome ri, dr.eric johnson, patrick liu, alex gray, michael shea, n' micah mason.   phew, 'twas quite a task to setup this trip, but it really paid off in fun, u know?   we had a really good time.   i wish joon had snowboarded on fri @ boreal.   he would've had a better 1st time than he did on sat @ northstar; that is a real shame.   it was a much better beginner's environment @ boreal on fri.   in fact, fri was just a bomb@$$ day to be on the slopes in general!   fresh powder, good sun, no crowd... goodstuff!   did terrain park, halfpipe, downhill, powder, everything.   i snowboarded w/ master yoon.   we had a good group goin'!   kaela definitely improved a lot that day.   we stayed into the evening.   then we went to our cabin @ northstar.   whoa, what a cabin!   dang, 'twas big n' beautiful!   a 5 bd, 3.5 ba house, very new w/ a nice kitchen... everything!   'twas a good weekend.   the taekwondo club bonded.   ppl broke the ice, got to know master yoon.   i appreciated the cooperation n' support of all the participants.   this really makes me look 4ward to the upcoming semester.   i'll be teaching white belts n' leading demo team.   it's gonna be bizzy.

the nite b4 we left to the snowtrip, kaela n' i went to kirala.   we had a good dinner, altho' a li'l too big considering we had to go 2 sleep early.   (i dunno why i mention that, just so that i 'member all that i've done, i dunno.)   yesterday, on our way back from tahoe my car n' raymond's car stopped in sacramento @ some mall.   we ate lunch @ the fud ct.   raymond's from sactown, so he knows the area.   now that i've hung out in sactown, it makes the tahoe commute cm shorter.   instead of thinking it's all boonies btwn the bay area n' tahoe, i'll realise that sactown's actually a decent city w/ a mall, not just some 2 horse town... ha, 'course not.   'member that time that s.mike n' i hung out 4 an afternoon @ uc davis?   *sigh* wow, that was a yr 'go!   i gotta get my board waxed n' my car washed!   last nite, kaela n' i stayed in.   we watched the vcd of swili that i got from angelpop.   i thought 'twould be in korean, but 'twas dubbed in cantonese w/ subtitles.

i proposed a coupl'a new yr's resolutions 4 my readers, right?   stuff that's relationship related...   when i think 'bout those 2 concepts (picking the right mate, avoiding emotional dependency), i often think of the alice dj song "better off alone."   'course that has been 1 of chals's favourites.   chals is a guy that i haven't cn in a long time.   "do u think u'r better off alone?"   there rn't many lyrics to that song.   but think...   u gotta appreciate ur mate...   don't take 4granted all the happiness he/she brings u; don't just focus on what u've had to sacrifice to have that relationship.   what 'bout all u've gained?   here's 'nother thing...   allow me to preach 4 a bit...   nuts!   neway, i think ppl gotta do this: 1) don't blame ur partner 4 keeping u from becoming a better person. n' 2) don't keep ur partner from being a better person.   1) don't say, "man, i'd be so beeg n' bahf it i spent all my time werking out instead of being w/ u."   don't say, "i'd be so beautiful if i didn't spend all my time w/ u."   don't say, "i'd get such better grades if i didn't spend all my time w/u." 2) don't keep ur partner from developing him/herself...   how can u take away the things 'bout ur partner that u originally liked so much?   imagine this: a guy likes a gurl, n' sez he fell in love w/ her cos she's so independent... then he takes away all her independence, n' sez, " i liked u better when u were more independent."   that's wrong.   or imagine this: a guy likes a gurl cos she makes lots'a money; then he takes all of her time, n' she stops making so much money; then he sez, "i liked u better when u made more money." heh, k, that's just not a healthy situation 4 many reasons!   how 'bout a gurl likes a guy cos he's so fit n' muscular n' stuff, then she'd better allow him to maintain his muscles n' fitness.   k, maybe that's 2 superficial of an example 4 some ppl.   butchu get what i mean.   hrm, those examples remind me of those smiths' lyrics: "she sed: 'in the days when u were hopelessly poor, i just liked u more...'" from "half a person."   neway, these r just some selfrighteous wurds i've been wanting to 4ce down ur throats 4 a while now.   i just never had the time; been so bizzy w/ werk, travel, n' planning out the snowtrip, right?   i'm @ werk 2day, altho' it's the b.day of the great dr. martin luther king, jr.

boy, oh boy; i've been planning so much 4 this big uc berkeley taekwondo snowtrip.   *phew*   it is hard to handle such a big group, but we get group rates @ the resorts.   it's snowing in tahoe; we gotta drive carefully.   so what's been up?   last nite we celebrated brandie's b.day @ le cheval.   that's the restaurant where i had my graduation banquet.   'twas fun.   we gave brandie an elph2 camera, the new version of mine.   u know, i gotta mention a belated happy b.day to joon, jason, n' darlene.   i've been so bizzy.   bizzy bizzy.   i can't even remember what i've been up to.   i know tues nite, we had a snowtrip mtg in the rsf.   then we ate frozen pizza @ the albany place.   anchovies on cheese pizza.   the beautiful kaela kang visited me @ werk 'gain on tues n' took me to lunch @ the corte madera long life noodle co.   maybe i like that 1 better than the berkeley 1.   it's been raining so much here in the bay area.   jerome resolves to 1) take no more funny pics n' 2) to gain 20 lbs of muscle.   u know what i want ppl to resolve?   ha, think 'bout what i preach 'bout all the time... 1) if u'r single, resolve to know exactly whatchu want in ur future bf/gf n' future relationship.   2) if u'r attached, resolve not to be emotionally dependent!   ha ha, that's what i'm always preaching 'bout, huh?   well, yup; i think we should all resolve to do 1 or the other!

i'm so full.   the beautiful kaela kang came to corte madera, n' i took her to lunch.   we went out to san rafael to this vietnamese restaurant that dave showed me.   i went w/ the lunch buffet, so i'm so stuffed!   kaela needed to pick up my san jo house key cos she's dropping some of our stuff their 4 short term storage.   i dropped off more clothes @ the salvation army this morning.   slowly but surely we're gonna move out of this apt!   last nite, toby came over to hang w/ us.   i'm really happy.   he brought us a christmas present, a blender.   he also brought us phil's christmas present, a vegetarian cookbook.   yah, that's dope.   'course we like to cook.   thanks, guys!   oh, n' toby also gave me a pair of boxers that match his; we used to every so often buy matching underwear.   i was thinking of giving him boxers 4 christmas 2.   i gave him a soundblaster live! 4 his 'puter.   we're both trying to fix our 'puters right now.   last nite, i put in my new 36gb quantum atlas 10k, but somehow, in the process, my cpu fan stopped werking.   i'm debating now whether to get a whole new cpu/muthaboard/case...   not that i'm thinking, "dang, the fans broken, gotta get a whole new 'puter," but it's just that i'm still running on a 66 mhz bus, n' maybe i oughtta just get an athlon chip n' muthaboard n' move up to 133 mhz... n' maybe i should get a case that can hold more drives, in case i want more hard drives or a dvd drive... after all, that's the beauty of scsi, that i can have lotsa drives.   it's not like i'm gonna buy an external raid or nething, so hrm...   i dunno.

man, what's w/ all this nerdy 'puter talk?   well, i'll change the subject.   jerome sent me this link to bronx's junkyard, which is a site w/ lotsa info 'bout asian entertainment, i guess.   but he specifically told me to read this article by dunce, "the perfect woman."   i guess jerome wanted me to read it cos he knows i'm so into telling young, single men n' women to think hard 'bout what they want in a mate, since many young, single men n' women spend so much time looking 4 a mate, u know?   i wrote an essay 'bout what i want in a woman n' 'nother 'bout what i want in a relationship.   someday, maybe i'll share them w/ u, but 4 now, u should just think 'bout these topics as they relate to u.   well, the author of this article... i don't really agree w/ him on everything; nope!   1st off, i don't agree w/ his attitude 'bout women n' cooking.   skrew that, guys should be able to cook!   n' wait till u c what he sez 'bout korean gurls... uhm, i know all the korean gurls i know'll have a fit when they read this, huh?   well, i'm just saying that i "disagree" w/ some of dunce's attitudes, but that doesn't mean i don't respect him.   i thoroughly respect him 4 writing this article, yes.   it's kewl.   in fact, it's dope.   there's 1 other thing i kinda disagree w/ him on; i'd prob'ly find it less glorious to c a beautiful gurl run 'round the house in sweats.   i guess i'm more into fashion or whatever.   u know i don't go 'round saying gurls r "hoochie" 4 dressing up or wearing makeup.   neway, i do agree w/ him on some things: 1) looks do matter in looking 4 a mate, no matter how much u wanna say, "oh, i'm not superficial," etc...   in my search 4 a mate, it mattered, n' it most likely matters to u 'least some, whether u deny it or whatever.   2) big breasts r not important, but existent breasts r a good thing.   right, as dunce sez, u don't wanna be looking at a gurl n' be wondering, "is that a gurl or guy?"   'least, that kind of gurl wouldn't be my 1st choice 4 a mate.   3) intelligence is good, not necessarily booksmarts, but something more like "common sense," as dunce puts it.   neway, yah... i agree w/ dunce on some things.   i don't wanna get into it 2 much; i'll save that 4 the day that i reveal my essays i wrote on what i want in a woman n' what i want in a relationship.   in the past, i also sed that those essays or lists should be written when the author is single that way he/she won't be influenced by the traits of his/her current bf/gf or relationship.

oh yah, 1 other thing 'bout dunce's article.   u'll c that his conclusion is basically that jaymee ong is the perfect woman.   tsss...   k, he can go hang out w/ joon n' jerome, right?   ha ha.   i don't think i'd necessarily draw the same conclusion @ the end of such a discussion.   yah, jaymee ong certainly is an attractive woman, n' kaela herself sed in her own journal that she is.   n' if kaela had a thing 4 a gurl, i guess i'd feel better if it were jaymee ong than some less attractive woman, right?   ha ha.   oh yah, the author puts in lotsa glamour shots of jaymee ong n' fin.k.l.'s hyolee lee, so if u read this article from werk, ur boss'll surely walk by n' think u'r looking @ gurlie pics on company time. ha ha.

it's fun to talk 'bout gender issues n' relationships, isn't it?   but man, it can be a real waste of time 2.   i s'ppose a practical person wouldn't waste so much time talking 'bout these things but spend that time talking 'bout how he/she'd save money etc, right?   *sigh*   well, i dunno... i like wasting time talking 'bout these issues.   'member what women want?   i hope so; it's not that old yet...   neway, i've definitely come to realise now that there is such a thing as a man's man, as opposed to a woman's man, i s'ppose.   i dunno if i'd use those exact terms actually, but i guess there's a kind of guy that other guys look up to cos he doesn't sacrifice his philosophies 4 the sake of ne woman.   he's kewl in a way that guys think is kewl, not necessarily in that burping contest, video game winning sort of way, but in a way that guys think is kewl n' that guys think gurls should think is kewl.   hrm... do u know what i mean?   i dunno, whatchu think?   neway, there r other gender/relationship issues, such as those that s.mike talked 'bout.   @ triple rock, he went off on how college gurls have the most genderpolitical power n' there4 often make the worst gfs... he sez they got the looks, youth, n' intelligence, so young n' old guys want them.   in contrast, s.mike sez college guys r in the worst position: they got no money, they're 2 bizzy w/ skool to look good...   n' s.mike sez that younger gurls just go 4 flashy guys, while older women better appreciate sincerity.   hrm... u think?   i dunno; i don't always agree w/ s.mike's "theories."

well, 2nite i'll be hosting a mtg in the rsf regarding the taekwondo snowtrip.   lotsa organization involved w/ this.   i really appreciate kaela's n' laura's help.   man, so much ucmap/taekwondo biz to organize: snowtrip, white belt class, demo team, uc open volunteers... phew!   man... i just wanna find time to werkout!   maybe some of us can go out after the mtg.   where to?   dunno.   u know, we haven't gone to koko house in a while.   u think?   well, if not 2nite, sometime.   it's gonna snow thru out the snowtrip.   putting on chains'll be a group bonding / bondage experience.

it's been an exciting week 'way from the beno journal.   i guess i didn't have time to write.   but now i can tell u 'bout everything, right?   well, i flew down to ont airport from oak.   erin gave me a ride to the airport.   i sat in the airport, at the gate 4 a long time cos i gave myself a li'l 2 much of a safety time buffer.   i watched kpix cbs primetime tv on southwest airline's tv.   i ate some overpriced columbo breadsticks n' a rice krispy treat i bought from the airport shop.   well, the flight was fine, a li'l boring, but fine.   i drank spicy tomato juice as my beverage n' ate swa honey roasted peanuts.   i got off the plane.   i headed downstairs n' saw the beautiful kaela kang.   she had gone out to dinner w/ her hs friends @ claim jumper, but she planned 4 my being hungry, so she didn't eat 2 much.   we drove 'round her area of socal n' found a li'l, new korean hof in diamond bar.   we just ordered a small tong dalk, but we got lots'a free banchan n' stuff.   we felt almost bad 4 getting so much free stuff n' only getting that small tong dalk... 'twas only $7.95.   'twas pretty late.   the spacious restaurant was pretty empty.   the hof was cheaper n' cleaner than those up in norcal.   we then went to rowland heights n' browsed thru a chinese giftstore that had lots'a piyo stuff.   it was attached to this chinese cafe n' was open till 300a.   all the plates, cups, mugs, etc. were so cheap @ that giftstore.   i like that store.   i bought a vase 4 kaela's grandma (cos we were going to her b.day party on sat, the next day), a set of mugs w/ burdies on them saying "good morning," n' a set of li'l bowls shaped like farm animals.   stuff was cheap, n' the sales staff was very friendly n' helpful.   kaela bought me a strawberry juice boba drink.   it was pretty late.

sat, we got up late.   we bummed 'round the house.   when we got sick of that we took off to ontario mills amc to watch the family man.   i really liked that movie.   then kaela drove us to rolling hills 4 her grandma's b.day party.   we watched kundun on tv.   we left early, taking her siblings.   we stopped in placentia to get gas.   i bought a green tea sobe cos i was thirsty.   we needed to sleep early cos we'd be going to disneyland early.

joon got us discounted disneyland tix via his brutha who washes dishes there.   who went to disneyland? joon, jerome, laura, brandie, bruce, darlene, deanna, mikey, kaela, n' me.   disneyland wasn't as crowded as last yr.   we got to ride a good number of rides.   the musik 2 the new yr's party there sucked tho', worse than last yr.   kaela n' i spent our 1st new yr's 2gether.

mon, the kang household was busily cleaning n' setting up 4 the big family new yr party.   every1 came over to chino.   we had lots'a good fud, of course dduhk mandoo gook.   we played yoot.   i met more of kaela's family.   her cousin's puppy chewed up the string on my kuhbook necklace...   nuts.   laura came over to stay.

tues, we woke up late.   jeanna, laura, n' i went to j.box to get fud n' holiday balls.   later, laura, kaela, n' i went to garden grove.   we ate @ book kyuhng w/ joon n' went to the block to watch finding forrester, a good movie.   then we went back to rowland heights.   joon had to leave tho'.   we got some juice drinks n' played in the arcade.   i liked the drumset game n' the handcar train game.

wed, we drove up, back to berkeley.   we stopped by tri.city 4 kaela n' laura to buy some snow apparel.

thurs, kaela n' i left 4 tahoe.   we snowboarded @ northstar on thurs, @ sierra-at-tahoe on fri, n' @ boreal on sat.   i had so much fun riding the terrain park on sat @ boreal.   we had a really fun 3 days snowboarding, altho' our bodies were really beat up. on sat nite, after we came back, we had dinner @ tachibana n' watched crouching tiger, hidden dragon @ ua emeryville.

sun, we went ate @ venture frogs n' watched traffic.   wow, so many movies this past week, huh?   but there r lots'a good movies to watch nowadays.

well, it's a new yr.   ne new yr's resolutions?   what kind of new yr's resolutions should beno make?   i resolve to find a place 4 kaela n' i to live in peace.   what else?   hrm...   i've got this new journal...   i resolve to keep my webpage better updated.   well, i'll think 'bout more new yr's resolutions.   what r urs?   u can talk 'bout them on my g.book, which i resolve to make better.