Wazzup CalSO crew, it your
friend K-E-N
Here to keep it real with CalSO at the end.
So for your wissin’ pweasure, I wrote this rap for y’all
Better pay attention to the counselor role call.
Well there’s Adrienne, ya
see, this girl truly rocks
With awesome dredded hair and a boyfriend in the box.
Then there’s Andy over there givin’ us the army scoop,
I hear him giving campus tours and yelling “Andy’s Group.”
And Angel, ahh, what a sweet cutie
Singin’ like a badass and feeling soul foodi-ie.
And then there’s Benny over there, the Captain Eo
Artistic and poetic and he’s Big Benny Ho.
Christaline, girl, she ain’t too pushy
But better watch out or she’ll whip out shome shoop tushie.
Don’t forget Cindy Chain, she lives right next to me,
She’s little, she sleeps, and she says “actually.”
There’s Claire over there, I think I’m gonna miss her,
She cheerleads she tourleads, my engineering sista.
Then there’s football playin’ Connor, a true Gualalan
Ben is his brother, they’re “supposedly” twins.
Let’s not forget David,
he speaks so eloquently,
He spent a year in Denmark where he used words like hügeleet.
Donna Vivar, she so excitable an dfly
Some people call her “Budding” but don’t ask me why.
Evelyn, Evelyn, Evlyn… pretty damn good worker
But, uh uh, don’t give her attitude because that really irks her.
And let’s not leave out Farouso, the acclaimed 2nd floor klepto
Stealing my valiant Love Picture and my 8 year old bottle of Pepto
Oh Felipe, my good man,
coming back for year two
Still macking on the counselees, and now screwing with Salam too.
And what about Garett Ng, what could I possibly say
Why he’s our new resident pimp and he’s from Canada…eh?
Henry Ra’s the slickest dude, man is he “dope…ah”
Walking with a pimp limp Ra Ra Sisboombah.
Howard’s the computer guy with muscles ready to burst
From all that DDR, he’s Mr. Universe.
And Jasper, my boy, he’s
so fricking sly
All the girlies say he’s pretty fly for a Filipino guy.
Oh Jeffrey, ya see, I’m sure he wants to rheme us
For all those times in dodgeball that we hit him in the _____.
Don’t forget Marsland whose glows gets high ratings
His hobbies include dancing and masturbating.
And dear, dear José, who I look so gladly,
You love your transfers. You’re no longer Boo Radley.
Ah, yes, there’s Juno,
with Portuguese class
Loved by all the counselors and counselees dads.
Kim, Kimmy, Kimberly, you’re oh so nice to me
But how many times this summer did you say “it’s Ohylski.”
Kris Huston over there, ah my former counselee
I wonder what could make him so happy and giggly (cough: weed).
Good ol’ Lael Abaya always laughing so unwimpy
Together with Renato, they make Ren and Stimpy.
Laura Boychenko, she’s
two great skaters
Now that her boyfriend’s back in town, Cindy, see you later.
Leah, my band mate, you rock the clarinet
And I don’t blame you for the tamp that broke your lizard’s neck.
And what about Acuña, Acuña Matata
She was bloodthirsty before she could say goo goo ga ga.
Umm, Lizzie Torres, always gain potty
So much attitude for one small body.
Let’s not forget Neha our
awesome social coord
Without her, SF clubbers would get bored.
And Paul Thornton here, looks like Chandler
I betcha Megan’s freaky. I hope you can handle her.
Renato, Pakingnan, Sanchez ya know it
“Holy Frick” that’s jacked says this beat poet.
TCFC, TCFC, TCFC
TCFC, this must be Salam Rafeedie.
And then there’s Scott,
our guitar playin’ roadie
Whatever you do, don’t call him shorty.
Shannon Smith might have thought she married Benny Ho
I don’t know, you think next year she’ll be a coord?
Wazzup Stephanie, together we’re the Jews
Sorry though, you’re too raunchy for Big Juice.
Or her partner in crime Nicole the thrower
Something tells me Farouk can never be yours.
What about Steve, with
shoes so burly
He’s the reason why we don’t give AC codes out too early.
Theresa Chen tearjerker, an FYE engager.
Yes, that’s right, comp sci is the minor not the major.
What about Thongdom Pathoumthong
She’s happy go lucky, with last name oh so long.
Whitney, ah Whitney, your heart is so kind
I see your mom more than I see mine.
