Mock Obituary - Non-Fiction by Jonathan Haeber



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George Good, Lifelong Miner, Dies at 52
By Jonathan Haeber

George Good, an avid prospector and bright-eyed vagrant died on Jan. 24. George's jovial smile was usually seen hiding behind a gray beard stained with tobacco and speckled with bits of gold dust gathered inadvertently from a day of 'mucking.' Though a vagrant, George was by no means a recluse. Weekend prospectors searching for mining tips descended upon his abode in the Oregon outback, a makeshift bus patched by 2x4's and multi-colored paints.

Before he passed away, George was working on a grand project. The 'project' involved running a prospecting course for troubled teenagers. His vision was stymied when, after several notices, the Department of the Interior impounded his bus. Inside the bus was the funding for his project.

In the final days of his life, George rode his trademark tricycle with a basket full of empty bottles and cans behind him. Like the gold of his life, Good used the nickels and dimes thrown from cars to support his meager lifestyle. Without his bus, George was forced to gather the dreck of the road to fund a place to stay or to buy a warm blanket.

In the summer, when motorists drank the most, George's tricycle basket was overflowing; by winter, however, the cans slowly dwindled to a trickle. Winter storms hit hard, and George could no longer afford to lodge. He died of exposure to the elements on the anniversary of Marshall's gold discovery in California. A public auction for all of his acquired goods, including a cache of gold valued at 150,000 dollars, will be held on February 10th. Interested parties may contact the News Review for further details.



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