Shoelaces

Today's Topic, thanks to one of my favorite Xanga loggers is SHOELACES:

Shoelaces can be annoying sometimes. I'm sure Jesus didn't have shoelaces. He doesn't need shoelaces. He had Godly feet, and people with Godly feet don't need shoelaces. In fact, some people think he is God, but that's a whole different topic.

Why don't they use zippers on shoes instead of shoelaces. Zippers would increase efficiency and optimize the expected utility of the average shoe. Due to cost-benefit analysis, a zipper would be the most economically feasible undertaking. Not only does it save time, which of course "IS money," but it also will cause an upswing in the zipper industry, thereby shifting the economic benefits of the shoe fastening sector to such developing countries as East Timor and Borneo.

Shoelaces are also hard to learn, and some very stupid people still don't know how to tie their shoelaces.

Overall, shoelaces are a hinderance to our economy and should be outlawed. Better yet, we should all be like Jesus, because I totally pity the fool who doesn't jizz for Jesus.