IP1 to halt all electrical outlet gags

by Lou Huang
VILLAGE IDIOT

Berkeley, CA - In a historical move last Friday, Infinity Plus One Production's Chief of Publishing Nat Rojanasathira announced that the company will place a freeze on all gags relating to lack of electrical outlets.

"It's been too played out," said Rojanasathira, whose involvement in the past was simply that of quiet support of the gag. "I think it's time for us, as a multinational corporation, to move ahead of our old downfalls and to provide adequate electrical power for all employees."

However, the decision was not unanimously met with approval by all employees. Reporter Shari Wargo reported, "The lack of electrical outlets was what kept me from doing any reporting before -- if we are to instate these outlets, I might actually have to do some actual work." A few employees expressed similar expressions of indignant indignancy.

"Nothing will be funny anymore," says Bioengineer Jesse Woo, referring to the laughable qualities of the gag. "I can't believe they're cracking down on this. Today, the electrical outlets. What's next? The fake news?"

But Rojanasathira assured employees that the freeze will not be permanent. "It's important to realize that this only affects people who were initial victims of the gag," he said in a meeting with victims of the gag. "Other employees have led healthy, productive lives with working electrical outlets."

Contractors are scheduled to appear within the week to install the necessary outlets. However, due to a minor funding problem, electrical wiring will not be included.