Employee wears out new DDR machine

by Micah Fisher-Kirshner
ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT

Berkeley, CA - Yesterday, after installing the 5th Mix of DDR, Product Tester Jeff Ligh began his usual enthusiastic performance of new games for the company. Director of Foreign Affairs Micah Fisher-Kirshner, who returned temporarily from his usual interactions with professional businesswomen in Asia, promptly noticed the new 5th Mix. Fisher-Kirshner proceeded towards the game, asking for permission to test and play this new system. Given this permission, Micah proceeded to do "things that I wish I had never seen. He danced with such fervor and intensity all over the machine; moves I thought were impossible. I'm going to be scarred for life," quotes Jeff Ligh. After a mere five minutes the machine wore out and broke down, billowing smoke thus rendering the new game useless.

Head of Public Safety Maintenance Tim Inouye has since banned Micah from the game for the rest of his work life at the company.