! said Tom while banging his head. $400. Do I hear $500? asked the auctioneer morbidly. /* This statement is not executable, */ Tom commented. -John Foster 2 bdrm furn w 5 appl," said Tom aptly. We have another flat, Tom said tiredly. @#$%*! I've struck oil," said Tom crudely. A 5000 pound star-fruit on top of me," Tom crumbled.-J.Foster/carambola A fault! Martina cried reservedly. A thousand thanks, Monsieur, Tom said mercifully. AARRGGHH!!, I've just been stabbed! said Tom half-heartedly. Add the list of n numbers & then divide the sum by n, said Tom meanly. Adherents of my religion don't all believe the same thing, Tom decreed. Ah, now I can see through the window, said Tom stiltedly. Alas, I am inconsolable! said Tom uncomfortably. Algol standards aren't the same without Niklaus, said Tom wirthlessly. All ancient Chinese artifacts should be burned, said Tom charmingly. All I did was pull the spark plug wire, Tom said shockingly. All I ever do is milk this damn cow, Tom uttered continuously. All I ever do is work, Tom droned. All I have to do is engrave portraits on these bills, Tom forged ahead. All I want is 20,000 machine guns, said the dictator disarmingly. All my knowledge cannot ease my arthritis, said the wiseacre. All right -- we'll use a water solution, Tom acquiesced. All right, who hurled the ball through my window? asked Tom painfully. All that's left are the front and back, Tom said decidedly. Alouette, je te plumerai, sang Tom jauntily. Anal intercourse is for ********!, Tom said, butting in. And dat bay is not green, Tom discovered. And lose a few, said Tom winsomely. -Edward J O'Brien And to think I swallowed that lie hook, line and sinker! Tom gulped. Ann's my sister, said Andy raggedly. Another plate of steamers all around! Tom clamored. Are there any questions? asked Tom wisely. Are you gonna eat that?, Tom asked hungrily. Aren't five cups of tea too many from one bag? asked Tom, weakly. Aye, every inch! said Lear achingly. Bad marksmanship, the hunter groused. -Roy Bongartz Barman, three German beers, said Tom dryly. Be careful with that saw! Tom said offhandedly. Ben Hogan recovered his golf ball, said Tom profoundly. Bosnia is free, said Tom acerbically. Boy, am I impressed! said Tom as he joined the British Navy. Boy, I wish the elevator were working, said a tired Tom, staring up. Boy, that sure took the wind out of my sails! said Tom disgustedly. Boy, that's a bright star, said Tom seriously. Boy, that's an ugly hippopotamus! said Tom hypocritically. Boy, what a super silly ass! said Tom superciliously. Boy, will I give YOU a haircut! said Tom barbarously. Brace for impact, Picard said parenthetically. Brew me more coffee, said Tom perkily. But I don't speak German, said Tom teutonically. But I like pineapple said Tom, dolefully. But suppose X does exist after all, Tom expostulated. Buy me a drink? said Tom dryly. By convention! cussed Tom airily. [customarily] Call me a cab, said Tom hackly. Can I go look for the holy grail again? Tom requested. Can I have one of those chocolates?, asked Tom candidly. Can you hear me through this sieve? was Tom's strained query. Can you read music? the bandleader asked notably. Care for some pudding? said Tom hastily. Cheryl, you stand between Ella & Pauline, interposed the photographer. Close the hatch! We're being invaded by bugs! said Tom importantly. Company's coming, Tom guessed. -Rambo & Youngquist Consult an investment broker, was Tom's stock answer. Cover your mouth when you sneeze! Tom scoffed. Croatia is free, said Tom acerbically. Dance in lane, said the sign frugally. Dat is not duh @#$%*! way to do it, Tom discussed. Dawn came too soon, Tom mourned. -Rambo & Youngquist Dear, you've lost your birth control pills, said Tom pregnantly. Della! Phone Lt. Tragg! Mr. Mason's been kidnapped! Tom said perilously. Demons can be robbed, said Tom improbably. Do the Japanese vote for politicians? Tom said erectly. Doctor, why do you have to remove my womb? asked Mary hysterically. Don't drop that vase! Tom said shatteringly. Don't go until the (&*&%# light's green, Tom's passenger said rudely. Don't rest on your laurels, said Tom hardily. Don't try to pull the wool over my eyes, Tom said sheepishly. Dorian Gray's by Oscar, said Tom wildly. Dorothy, if you're going to Oz again, I'm going with you, Em barked. Down, Spot! Tom commanded in Dalmatian. Drei ... fnf, said Tom fearlessly. -Edward J O'Brien Drive that armored vehicle over here, said Tom cantankerously. Drop the gun, Tom said disarmingly. Drop the gun, Tom said with a disarming smile. Drop those eggs and the yolk will be on me, Tom exclaimed. -Gary Caplan Eat more fruit said Tom, with aplomb. Eating radium has strange results, Tom said brightly. Eating uranium makes me feel funny, said Tom glowingly. Eureka! said Archimedes to the skunk. Every last one of you is a wimp, said Tom xerophytically. Everything Albert says is so obvious, said Tom altruistically. Female canines lick the coats of their young, said Tom dogmatically. Find the truffles! Find the truffles! rooted Tom. Fire! yelled Tom alarmingly. Flames to /dev/null, please, directed Tom nihilistically. Flying saucers use antigravity to stay up, said Tom knowingly. Forgive them, for they know not what they do! said Jesus crossly. Gee, said Tom sinisterly. Gentlemen: Please send me your catalogue, wrote Tom listlessly. Get away from the dynamite, Tom said explosively. Get me off this horse, Tom derided woefully. Get off my lap, said Tom derisively. Get off the horse, Tom derided Mary. Get out of here! said Tom believingly. Get out of my hair, was Tom's brush-off. Get Smokey out of here! said the warden unbearably. Get some air circulating beneath the roof, said Tom fanatically. Gin rummy with Brandy's scotched, Bud, whined Sherry wryly. Give me all your money, Tom said steelly. Give me some Chinese food, said Tom wantonly. Go away, you snake, Tom rattled off. Gold leaf, said Tom guiltly. -Edward J O'Brien Good afternoon, Ms. Huston, Tom said angelically. Goodbye, Columbus! flipped Tom wrothly. [Philip Roth] Goody Two Shoes is a great song, Tom said adamantly. Gremlins must have done it! Tom implied. Hah! I got that ten pin down! said Tom sparingly. Hallelujah, Tom said handily. Have a ride in my new ambulance, said Tom hospitably. Have another soft drink, Tom coaxed. Have fun in Italy, said Tom romantically. Have it monogrammed, was Tom's initial suggestion. Have some cheese, said Tom craftily. Have some shampoo, was Tom's unconditional offer. Haw, Haw, said Tom dextrously. Help me set fire to this cross, said Tom clannishly. Help, I'm drowning! was Tom's glib, glib, glib chortle. Her sister's son played Batman on TV, said Tom, adamantly. Here's an epenthetic stamp, said Tom f'lat'ly. Here's your allowance for the next two weeks, Tom advanced. Here, son, have a free balloon! said Tom expansively. Hey, castration is reversible, Tom remembered. Hey, like, sailing is really far out, man, said Tom hypnotically. Hey, Vern! Knowhutimean? Tom said earnestly. Hey, you're on my foot! said Tom standoffishly. Hi, Laverne, Tom said surely. Honey, put on that see-through thing, said Tom negligently. How 'bout a toss in the hay? asked Tom loftily. How come my clock only makes 'toc's? Tom asked mystically. How do you like my new contacts? asked Tom, glassy-eyed. How do you like this negligee? asked Mary transparently. How do you start a model-T Ford without a battery? asked Tom crankily. How many dings you got in your door, Tom? Ten, Tom replied decadently. Huh? said Tom deafly. Hurray for our team! said Tom cheerfully. I ain't afraid of those white men, said Cochise bravely. I already showed you how to do that, Tom said tautly. I always eat at McDonald's, said Tom archly. I always pray to St. Ignatius, said Tom loyally. I am a being of a higher power, Tom exponentiated. I am amused by your joke with the stupid punchline said Tom, chagrined. I am not a crook, Mr. Nixon said resignedly. I am NOT a fraidy-cat, Tom wimppurred. I am NOT a homosexual necrophiliac, said Tom in dead earnest. I am NOT full of hot air, Tom belched. I am NOT on drugs, said Tom in a high falsetto. I am off to the race track, said Tom, hoarsely. I am so one of the seven dwarves! Tom said grumpily. I ate a chicken sandwich, said Tom foully. I bequeath, said Tom willfully. -Edward J O'Brien I bought these peanuts in Los Angeles, said Tom lagubriously. I brush my teeth every five minutes, said Tom implacably. I can always find my way home, said Tom's pathologist lustily. I can be self-referential if I want to, said Tom swiftly. I can eat one hundred and forty-four, Tom boasted grossly. I can guess that you're a holy man, Tom divined. I can split demons in two, Tom imparted. I CAN'T be drowning in African waters! pleaded Tom, deep in denial. I can't believe you cut off all my hair! she said, distressed. I can't do this new math, Tom added. I can't eat another thing, Tom said fully. I can't find the spare, said Tom tirelessly. I can't march any more, the soldier said haltingly. I can't tell whether I'm coming or going, Tom said amphisbaenically. I can't zeem to locate our disposable lighter, said Tom xenophobically. I cast fireball! Tom said magically. I caught two hares, said Tom abrasively. I chop down trees for a living, said Tom lumberingly. I climbed Mount Everest, said Tom hilariously. I collect fairy tales, said Tom grimly. I command a private army, said Tom maliciously. I commanded a group of ships for a week, Tom said fleetingly. I could always draw it on paper, Tom figured. I could be anybody, said ___ namelessly. I could stand to lose 50% of my body weight, said Tom affably. I count three landscapes, Tom said horizontally. I cut my dog's toenails too far, Tom said quickly. I dance at a topless club, the girl said, barely. I deal with things by abstaining, said Tom copacetically. I designate you my chief heir, said Tom willingly. I do admire Dolly Parton's acting, said Tom, figuratively. I don't believe in mixed marriages, said Tom gaily. I don't have a boyfriend, said Mary guilelessly. I don't have to stand upright, said Tom grandly. I don't need the mantissa of the logarithm, said Tom characteristically. I don't think I can keep this up, Tom announced impotently. I don't think I'll 'ave the pickled fish today, said Tom unerringly. I don't think that leprechaun is telling the truth, Tom implied. I don't trust that pickle, Tom said deliriously. I don't want a bottle that can exist only in hyperspace, Tom declined. I don't want a second helping, thank you, said the cannibal manfully. I don't want to rewrite this in prose, said Tom aversely. I don't work here on a regular basis, said Tom casually. I drink beer, but not from bottles, Tom said cannily. I dropped my brace over the balcony, said Tom downcastly. I dropped the toothpaste, said Tom, crestfallen. I enjoy making bicycle wheels, Tom spoke up. I failed my electrocardiogram, said Tom faint-heartedly. I favor self-restraint in all of North America, said Tom continently. I feel empty inside, Tom hollered. I feel like a Chinese labourer, said Tom coolly. I feel like attacking a monarch, said Tom strikingly. I feel so... empty, said Tom vacuously. I find you guilty! said the judge with conviction. I first had sex on a farm, Tom said sheepishly. I fixed the toilet, announced Tom, flushed with success. I flew over the Pole; I'm not Polish, said Richard E. Byrd coldly. I flunked this lousy exam, said Tom testily. I forgot what to buy, Tom said listlessly. I got a personal letter from Ann Landers, was Tom's epigraph. I got the first three wrong, said Tom forthrightly. I got this ballpoint pen from a Yugoslav friend, said Tom acerbically. I had to fire my first mate from the boat, said Tom excruciatingly. I hate climbing this winding staircase, said Tom coyly. I hate metal on my teeth, Tom said abrasively. I hate milking cows, Tom uttered. I hate pies with crumb bases, said Tom crustily. I hate pineapples, said Tom dolefully. I hate playing craps, Tom said dicily. I hate reading Victor Hugo, said Les miserably. I hate shellfish, said Tom crabbedly. I hate sweet potatoes, Tom yammered. I have a B.A. in social work, said Tom with a degree of concern. I have a patent cure for 'the kissing disease', said Tom monotonically. I have eight children, Tom apparently said. I have forgotten the German word for 'four' Tom said fearlessly. I have no idea, said Tom thoughtlessly. I have plenty of do's but no don'ts, Tom said dauntlessly. I have switched to metric, Tom expounded defeatedly. I have to attend my PhD oral examination, said Tom defensively. I have to fix all the bugs, and add some new features, Tom maintained. I have to insert this spatula in your mouth, said Tom depressingly. I have to wear this cast for another six weeks, said Tom disjointedly. I have too many children, said Mary overbearingly. I have writer's block, said Tom contritely. I haven't put air in my fifth tire, said Tom despairingly. I haven't read that Fairy Tale, Tom said grimly. [Grimm] I hope my mother gets hit by a steamroller, said Tom malevolently. I hope you're not afraid of needles, Tom injected. I inherited a fortune, Tom bequeathed willfully. I invested in a high-tech startup, Tom ventured. I joined the Lion's Club, said Tom pridefully. I just ate a fishing lure, said Tom barbarously, with bated breath. I just ate all this hay, said Tom, balefully. I just ate all those beans, said Tom astutely. I just ate that Eskimo's dog, barked Tom huskily. I just fed the lion! said Tom, offhandedly. I just forgot to increment the counter, Tom said nonplussed. I just got a sex change, said Tom, feeling rather disorganized. I just got kicked out of China! said Tom, rather disoriented. I just hung my sheets on the clothesline, said Tom erringly. I just shoplifted from a major department store, said Tom sincerely. I just swallowed a fishing lure, said Tom with baited breath. I just won 1000 dollars, Tom said grandly. I keep picking up radio signals from outer space, said Tom impulsively. I killed and cremated the Greek piper god, said Tom with panache. I killed the Greek piper god, Tom deadpanned. I know all the wherefores, said Tom wisely. I know life, the universe, and everything! Tom said fortuitously. I know what to do with stale cake, said Tom triflingly. I know which boyd gets the woym, said Tom in an oily voice. I know who turned off the lights, Tom hinted darkly. I like Australian beer, said Tom, hopingly. I like Chinese detective movies, Tom chanted. I like measles! laughed Tom infectiously. I like modern painting, said Tom abstractly. I like ragged margins, said Tom without justification. I like this drill, said Tom as he carie'd out the dental work. I like to sleep when I go camping, said Tom intently. I like women as much as the next guy, said Tom bisexually. I like writing artificially intelligent programs, Tom lisped. I love cats, Tom mused. I love eating crow, Tom said ravenously. I love hockey, said Tom puckily. I love hockey, said Tom puckishly. I love pancakes, said Tom flippantly. I love percussion instruments, said Tom symbolically. I love reading Moby Dick, said Tom superficially. I love supercomputers! giggled Tom crayzily. I love the dodgers, Oliver said artfully. I love trying to make insects fly, said Tom flippantly. I love Velveeta, have some cheese, Tom said craftily. I manufacture those tabletops, said Tom counterproductively. I meant to pay this year's dues, Tom remembered. I milk cows, said Tom moodily. I must attend my flock, said Tom sheepishly. I must excise that bunion, Tom's doctor said callously. I MUST patch this coat. Tom said raggedly. I need a flower for my lapel, said Tom lackadasically. I need a home run hitter, Tom said ruthlessly. I need a Latin Bible suitable for reading under water, Tom divulged. I need a pencil sharpener, said Tom bluntly. I need the mantissa of the logarithm, said Tom characteristically. I need to clear my head, said Tom opaquely. I need to go and convalesce, said Tom hospitably. I never get lost, said the pathologist. I never go into saloons, said Tom dryly. I only get Newsweek, said Tom timelessly. I only have a piece of eight, Tom said bitingly. -John Foster I ordered chocolate, not vanilla, I screamed. -Rambo & Youngquist I organized that big party for the prisoners, Tom confessed. I passed my electrocardiogram, said Tom readily. I plan to work for Digital, said Tom, giving me the finger. I plan to work in a cemetery, Tom plotted gravely. I play the part of Sir Edmund Hillary, said Tom climactically. I promised that telethon money, Tom pledged. -John Foster I pulled the wool over Ollie's eyes, said Tom foolhardedly. I punched him in the stomach three times, said Tom triumphantly. I put all my money into an IRA, Tom said interestedly. I put the boards on the path to avoid the mud, said Tom hygienically. I refuse to obey that French 'No Smoking' sign, fumed Tom defensively. I saw a Tom Swifty in that comment, Tom visualized. I saw that man remove my ballot from the box, said Tom devotedly. I sent Kathleen on a mission to the Antilles, Tom indicated. I should have stopped sooner, Tom postulated. I slept in a draft last night, said Tom stiffly. I smell gas, Tom fumed. I spilt the syrup, said Tom stickily. I still haven't struck oil, said Tom boringly. I still think I can draw blood from you, Tom probed vainly. I swallowed a window! Tom shouted painfully. I tend to use infinitives rather than gerunds, said Tom knowingly. I think all feminists should work as housewives, said Tom deliberately. I think I have a piece of coal in my shorts, said Tom stochastically. I think I might regenerate, Tom, the Doctor said shiftily. I think I'll end it all, Sue sighed. -Rambo & Youngquist I think I'll stand on the left side of the ship, Tom reported. I think I'll use a different font, Tom said boldly! I think it's time I had a perm, said Tom liltingly. I think my tires are bald, Tom said warily. I think someone electrified the corridor, Tom said haltingly. I think that oinker killed himself, Sue E. sighed. -John Foster [sooey] I think that wasp is in pain, Tom bemoaned. I think we should differentiate the magnetic flux, said Tom defiantly. I took out the trash, Tom said literally. I train big felines, Tom lionized categorically. I travel all over America, Tom stated. I tried to stop the horse by pulling the cord, was Tom's tale of woe. I tripped over the lamp plug, Tom said cordially. I unclogged the kitchen sink with a vacuum cleaner, Tom said succinctly. I use the Bourne Again Shell, said Tom bashfully. I used lots of detergent in late December, was Tom's yuletide comment. I used to be a conductor, said Tom extraneously. I used to be a miner, Tom exclaimed. I used to be a pilot, Tom explained. I used to command a battalion of German ants, said Tom exuber-antly. I used to work for Kelly Services, Tom extemporized. I used to work for the railway company, said Tom extraneously. I want some Chinese food, said Tom wantonly. I want to be carried in a covered couch, said Tom literally. I want to date other men, Tom said gaily. I want to date other women, said Tom unsteadily. I want to hear my baby bleat, Mary kidded. I want to renew my membership, Tom rejoined. I want to |=////> in the back seat of my car, Tom said autoerotically. I was brushing my teeth! said Tom with a gleam in his eye. I was caught stealing in Iran, said Tom offhandedly. I was completely exonerated, said Tom clearly. I was Fred Astaire's partner, Miss Rodgers boasted gingerly. I was in my kayak, practicing my Eskimo roll, said Tom self-righteously. I was removed from office, said Tom disappointedly. I will allow the prisoners to wear perfume, the warden consented. I will NOT finish in fifth place, Tom held forth. I wish I could remember the name of that card game, said Tom wistfully. I wish I'd made that bet, Tom, the bookmaker, said hoarsely. I won the daily double, Tom cried hoarsely. I won't be on time, Tom said belatedly. I won't give it a second thought, said Tom absent-mindedly. I won't listen to you, Leonard! said Tom def-t-Lee. I wonder if I'd have better luck if I fished with a net, Tom debated. I wonder what sex that cat is, said Tom. I wonder why uranium is fluorescent, said Marie curiously. I work at a bank, said Tom tellingly. I work for the vice squad, the officer said arrestingly. I wouldn't marry you if you're the only woman on earth! said Tom evenly. I wouldn't mind running my fingers over THOSE! said Tom fondly. I wrote the book on that subject, said Tom authoritatively. I'd give that hornet a 10, Tom said beratingly. I'd like a hot dog, Tom said frankly. I'd like some Oriental food, said Tom wantonly. I'd like to teach the world to sing... Tom said coaxingly. I'll clean the chimney, Tom said fluently. I'll corroborate that again, Tom reproved. I'll cut my OWN hair, said Tom barbarically. I'll cut you to ribbons! said Tom mincingly. I'll excise the bunion, Tom said callously. I'll get it, said Earl E. Byrd warmly. -John Foster I'll get you next time, Whiplash! said Tom snidely. I'll get you out of prison in no time, said Tom balefully. I'll glue the sheets of wood back together, Tom replied. I'll go get the stick, said Tom fetchingly. I'll have another piece of meat, Tom revealed. I'll have red wine with my roadkill, Tom said flatly. I'll have the dark bread, said Tom wryly. I'll have to change your grade, Tom's teacher remarked I'll have to convert to floating point, Tom realized. I'll have to take the telegrapher's test again, said Tom remorsefully. I'll need only three of my houses, said Tom forebodingly. I'll never use that brand of detergent again, said Tom woebetidedly. I'll pay off that customs official, said Tom dutifully. I'll provide the prisoner with getaway footwear, said Tom consolingly. I'll stuff that old settee, said Tom philisophically.[fill-a-sofa-cally] I'll take that, said Tom appropriately. I'll take the girl to the dance, Tom promised. I'll take this bra, the woman said upliftingly. I'll top the cake with sugar, Tom said icily. I'll try and dig it up for you, Tom said gravely. I'll try to dig up a couple of friends, said Tom gravely. I'll use my camera if I want to, Tom snapped. I'll wear robes, Charlton Heston said prophetically. I'll || gather || my || thoughts, Tom concatenated. I'm *not* a homonecrophiliac!, said Tom in dead earnest. I'm a ditch digger, said Tom trenchantly. I'm a frayed knot, said Tom discordantly. I'm a lesbian, Mary mentioned. [men shunned] I'm a lion hunter, said Tom pridefully. I'm a mathematician, Tom added summarily. I'm a Reagan-watcher, said Tom ironically. I'm a softball pitcher, said Tom underhandedly. I'm a Soviet military official, Tom commiserated. I'm afraid you've had a stroke, said Tom cerebrally. I'm as busy as a bee, Tom droned. I'm as strong as a sled dog, Tom said huskily. I'm at the end of my rope, said Tom knottily. I'm back from my lobotomy, said Tom absentmindedly. I'm being sent down to the minors, said Tom, the beleaguered pitcher. I'm bored, Tom said lumberingly. I'm building up my muscles, Tom insinuated. I'm coming! Tom ejaculated. I'm covered in blood, Tom said readily. I'm dying, Tom croaked. I'm easily moved to anger, said Tom insensibly. I'm experimenting with homosexuality, said Tom, half in earnest. I'm glad I passed my electrocardiogram, said Tom wholeheartedly I'm going after that red fish, said Tom `erringly. I'm going back to school soon, said Tom with class. I'm going out with a mermaid tonight, said Tom sedately. I'm going to get a hair transplant, said Tom baldly. I'm going to kill Dracula, said Tom painstakingly. I'm going to pick berries, rasped Tom. I'm going up, Tom said innocently. I'm having an affair with my gamekeeper, said the lady chattily. I'm having trouble keeping my balance, said Tom parenthetically. I'm impotent, Tom said softly. I'm in bed with the mumps, said Tom infectiously. I'm in the process of documenting my BASIC program, Tom remarked. I'm investing in German currency once again, Tom remarked. I'm just not attracted to you, said Tom flaccidly. I'm knitting a sweater for my guppy, said Tom wolfishly. I'm learning to play guitar, Tom said fretfully. I'm no communist, Alger hissed. I'm no good at golf; I'll hit another bad shot, Tom forewarned. I'm not a crook! Nixon said resignedly. I'm not exactly finished trimming the bushes, Tom hedged. I'm not going to eat any more of those pastries, Tom de-eclaired. I'm of greater value to you every day, said Tom appreciatively. I'm off for the racetrack, said Tom hoarsely. I'm on welfare, said Tom dolefully. I'm opposed to integration, Tom said deferentially. I'm out of pineapple, said Tom dolefully. I'm pretty good at basketball, said Tom, dribbling. I'm reading about communism, said Tom readily. I'm ready to nail the shingles, said Tom ruefully. -John Foster I'm ready to sign, Tom said pensively. I'm rereading the second Gospel, Tom remarked. I'm simply not a nice girl, she whispered tartly. I'm singing well these days, Tom intoned. I'm so full, I could blow up, said Tom yeastily. I'm taking one from the top shelf, Tom said highhandedly I'm taking over this hotel, said Tom inappropriately. I'm taking the prisoner downstairs, Tom said condescendingly. I'm taking your tagline, said Tom with a steely grin. I'm tearing my hair out over this problem, said Tom distressingly. I'm testing this boomerang, said Tom triflingly. I'm the butcher's helper, said Tom cuttingly. I'm thinking about a figure between 7 and 9, said Tom considerately. I'm trying to get some air circulating, said Tom fanatically. I'm trying to make insects fly, said Tom flippantly. I'm very popular with women, said Don wanly. I'm wearing my wedding ring, said Tom with abandon. I'm writing about the rebels in Nicaragua, said Tom controversially. I'm `drawing' the butter, Tom clarified fatuously. I've already had X-rays, said Tom roentgenographically. I've been having an incontinence problem, Tom gushed. I've brought back the lorry I borrowed, said Tom truculently. I've changed my name to Al, said Hal, exasperated. I've done more than talk to her on the phone, said Tom metaphysically. I've dropped my toothpaste, Tom said, crestfallen. I've finally won the Academy Award, said Henry fondly. I've gained thirty pounds, said Tom heavily. I've got a bad cold, Tom said infectiously. I've got a new game, mumbled Peg. I've got all the work I can handle, said the doctor patiently. I've got another @#$%*! insect in my pants, said Tom adamantly. I've got sand in my food, said Tom grittily. I've got to fix the car, said Tom mechanically. I've got to reach Kenilworth tonight, said Tom, trotting doggedly. I've got to stop this motor, Tom choked. I've grown fat on the contents of charity packages, said Tom carefully. I've had a hemisphererectomy, said Tom single-mindedly. I've had a prefrontal lobotomy, Tom said absentmindedly. I've had it with Post-Modern Expressionism, said the goat artfully. I've had my left and right ventricles removed, Tom said half-heartedly. I've locked onto the target, Tom said insightfully. I've lost a lot of weight, Tom expounded thinly. I've made a study of girls, said Tom lassitudinously. I've never heard of anilingus, said Tom, tongue in cheek. I've run out of laundry detergent, said Tom cheerlessly. I've run out of wool, said Tom, knitting his brow. I've skinned my knee, Tom blistered. I've spotted more blackbirds than you have, Tom crowed. I've struck oil, Tom gushed. If I'm right, there will be nothing left, said Tom ambidextrously. If it's all the same to you, Tom said equally. In the beginning voz... averred the German preacher. Is nothing sacred?, said Tom naughtily. Is there any adverb that can't make one of these? Tom asked. Is there no end to this? Tom asked finally. Is this sodomy? asked Tom, half in earnest. Is your name Timothy or Russell? Tom asked timorously. It appears to be a small rodent, said Tom shrewdly. It doesn't smell anymore, Tom said distinctly. It looks uncomputable to me, said Tom haltingly. It's 3 a.m., Tom said mournfully. It's 9:59, said Tom pretentiously. It's a big world out there, Tom said universally. It's a business to do pleasure with you, said Mary tartly. It's a German song, Tom lied. It's a little red fruit, said Tom parsimoniously. It's a rooster! clucked Tom cockily. It's a unit of electric current, said Tom amply. It's an actual parameter, not a formal parameter, was Tom's argument. It's best to find a new word for this, Tom determined. It's better to steal things together, Tom corroborated. It's between my sole and my heel, said Tom archly. It's cold, Timothy, said Tom with his distinctive timbre. It's fun to work with lasers!, Tom beamed. It's Jack the Ripper! said Tom horrendously. It's just gold leaf, said Tom guiltily. It's my maid's night off, said Tom helplessly. It's not candy, it's a breath mint, Tom asserted. It's not polite to look directly at a man, Mary chastised. It's time to play my wild card, Tom deduced. It's twelve noon, Tom chimed. It's two, two, two mints in one, Tom said certainly. It's usually just food poisoning, said Tom mainly. It's worth about a dollar, said Tom buckishly. Keep an eye on that orbit, Tom said watchfully. Let me clean out this poison tank, said Tom deceptively. Let me improvise this part, said Tom descriptively. Let me out of this embassy, said Tom disconsolately. Let me rub some ointment on that, Tom said topically. Let me see if I can prove that, said Tom unassumingly. Let me think again, said Tom redeemingly. Let's all play an A, a C#, and an E, cried the band with one accord. Let's eat kosher tonight, said Tom judiciously. Let's get married, said Tom engagingly (and dismissingly). Let's go for another gallop, Tom recanted. Let's go to McDonald's, said Tom archly. Let's invite Greg and Gary, said Tom gregariously. Let's kill him, said the executive. Let's not invite any sadists, said Tom demeaningly. Let's play a joke on the Sun Users Group, Tom suggested. Let's play golf, said Tom coarsely. Let's play musical chairs, said Tom deceitfully. Let's send these packages to the poor overseas, Tom said carefully. Let's trap that sick bird, said Tom illegally. Let's visit tombs, said Tom cryptically. Let's walk, said Tom stridently. Lettuce take our seats, Tom said crisply. Look at me, ma! I'm on top of the chimney, said Tom superfluously. Look at my shiny kitchen floor, said Tom, waxing enthusiastic. Look at that monster's sandals! said Tom in a thing-thong voice. Look at those newborn kittens, said Tom literally. Look out for that bird! cried Tom, ducking. Look under the green Jell-O, Tom said, sublimely. Looks uncomputable to me, said Tom haltingly. Maid's night off, said Tom helplessly. -Edward J O'Brien Making this clock run again will be a breeze, Tom said windily. Marmalade, said the newly hatched chicken. Mash that avocado and add some seasoning, said Tom guacamole. May I introduce the family Stone? Tom asked slyly. May I join your group and sing, too? Tom inquired. May I leave the room? asked the schoolboy, high-handedly. May the Lord make us truly thankful, said Tom gracefully. Modem, said the gardener, when Tom finished the lawns. Mondays through Fridays I sleep in a wigwam, said Tom attentively. More power to the people, said Tom, electrifyingly. Mr. Rockefeller did not bring his wife, said Tom haplessly. Mush, mush, Tom said huskily. My arm! said Captain Hook offhandedly. My bicycle wheel is melting, Tom spoke softly. My bid for this contract aims to please, said Tom tenderly. My blood pressure doesn't register, said Tom impulsively. My book is about Tom, not frogs, croaked Edward Stratemeyer swiftly. My boutonniere's gone, Tom said lackadaisically. My Chinese necklace has been stolen, said Mary jadedly. My chute weighs only two kilograms, said Tom parametrically. My cookie is empty, said Tom unfortunately. My cotton's full of bugs, said Tom weevilly. My dime rolled into the sewer, cried Tom gratefully. My dog will only eat cantaloupes, was Tom's melancholy complaint. My experiment was a success, the chemist retorted. -Roy Bongartz My family has a great future, said Tom clandestinely. My favorite statue is the Venus de Milo, said Tom disarmingly. My favorites are Charles and Wonder, Tom stated blindly. My giant sea creature died, Tom wailed blubberingly. My glands are swollen, said Tom mumpishly. My glass is full, said Tom capacitively. My glasses are fogged up, said Tom optimistically. My grape juice has fermented, Tom whined. My guitar is broken, Tom fretted. My jeans get wider at the bottom, Tom boasted with a flare. My job is to lead the audience's applause, Tom clucked. My juice requires SIX cans of water, said Tom with great concentration. My mother's sister will be here any minute, said Tom expect-antly. My new signature is no better than my old one, said Tom resignedly. My pencil is dull, Tom said pointlessly. My pet frog died, Tom croaked. My sign is cancer, what's my horoscope? Tom asked crabbily. My speaking voice frequency is 160 Hz, said Tom in measured tones. My spinal cord has been given notice, Tom fired back. My stars! said the astrologer gazingly. My stereo's broken, said Tom disconsolately. My stereo's fixed, said Tom ecstatically. My stereo's half-fixed, said Tom monotonously. My tongue feels numb, Tom said distastefully. My voice is deep, Tom said basically. My wife is cheating on me, Tom cackled. My word is final! Tom dictated. Nay! Tom bridled hoarsely. Nay, nay, and again I say nay, Tom said hoarsely. Nevermore will I read 'The Raven', said Tom poetically. Next @#$%! time buy the two-ply kind, said Tom abrasively. Nice mirror! said Tom reflectively. No ellipses, no parabolas, and no hyperbolas, said Tom laconically. No one brings me flowers, she said lackadaisically. No one got's to never go teasin' hisn's momma, said Tom ungrammatically. No pilaf for me, please, said Tom derisively. No! You can't have any of my lobster, said Tom, shellfishly. No, Eve, I won't touch that apple, said Tom adamantly. No, I have NOT had enough! said Tom solicitously. No, I haven't read Voltaire, said Tom candidly. No, it didn't go up my sleeve, said Tom underhandedly. No, you have to do it again, Tom reiterated loopily. Nothing is indelible, said Tom irascibly. Now how can I trick Sidney? Tom considered. Now I can do some painting, said Tom easily. Now I'll NEVER dance, said Tom defeatedly. Now I've got uranium in my bloodstream! said Tom vaingloriously. Now nobody can detect my halitosis, said Tom breathlessly. Now patients can get a second opinion, said Tom paradoxically. Now THAT's sloppy embroidery, Tom needled cruelly. Now THAT's worth stealing, said Tom abstractly. Now we'll have to replace all the ship's windows, Tom reported. Now where did I put that magazine? Tom asked periodically. Of course I can be seen, heard, and smelt, said Tom sensibly. Of course I can make armor out of chains, Tom replied by mail. Of course I'm aware ostriches can't fly! chirped Tom knowingly. Of course you graduated, said Tom diplomatically. Of quartz I won't take it for granite, Tom said gneissly. Oh my goodness! said Tom graciously. Oh, goody! Another blackout! said Tom delightedly. Oh, this house tastes good! said Hansel and Gretel gingerly. OJ will walk, Tom said cluelessly. He *DID* walk! Tom said judiciously. OK Mom, I'm going to hypnotize you now, said Tom transparently. Okay, sho I drank too much, said Tom, sotto voce. Okay, you can borrow it again, Tom relented. Okay, you can have the gloves without lining, Tom deferred. Okay, you can switch on the electric chair now, said Tom conceitedly. Older women interest archaeologists, said Agatha Christie virtuosically. One lump or two? asked Mary sweetly. One of ten 'London derriere' finalists dropped out, said Tom asininely. Oops! There goes my hat! said Tom off the top of his head. Oops, I've ripped my pants! was Tom's unseemly comment. Open your legs, honey, Tom said mellifluously. Oral self-stimulation is fun! said Tom, swallowing his pride. Orgasms are overrated, said Tom anticlimactically. Orlando's by Virginia, said Tom wolfishly. Ouch! When I get stung, I want revenge, said Tom begrudgingly. Our local clergyman has a toothache, said Tom vicariously. Our marriage must be dissolved, Tom said acidly. Out, out, damned spot! said Lady Macbeth distainfully. Out, out, damned spot! said Lady Macbeth, doggedly. Paint it blue again, Tom said reassuringly. Pass the cards, said Tom ideally. Perhaps he's a former Palestinian commie? explored Tom. Place all your Tom Swifties here, said Tom stoically. Please don't sneeze with your mouth full, said the carpenter tactfully. Please get in the elevator, said Tom uppishly. Please pass me the oranges, was Tom's fruitless request. Please put some folds in these trousers, Tom pleaded. Please put that arrow back where it belongs, Tom quivered. Please save the branches of our trees, said Tom limply. Please, Christopher, said Tom crisply. Plenty of starch, please, said Tom stiffly. Pretend we were in the days before railways, Tom coached. Promote that demon to the House of Lords, commanded Tom imperiously. Put out that cigarette, Tom said breathlessly. Quick! Hide all the religious pamphlets! said Tom distractingly. Quite frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn, said Tom rhetorically. Rasputin and my wife are lovers, said Nicholas bizarrely. Rowing so much hurts my hands, said Tom callously. Santa Maria, Andrea Dorea, Lusitania and Titanic, Tom said forbodingly. Shall I frost the cake? Tom offered icily. She even flies her own jet, Tom leered. She must be wearing mink, Tom inferred. She tore my valentine in two, Tom said halfheartedly. She wore a smoke-coloured dress at dinner, said Tom ingratiatingly. She's already married, said Tom mistakenly. She's mine, averred the Cockney chauvinist. Ships ahoy! said Tom fleetingly. So this is where they make movies, Tom said studiously. So this is where your ancestors are? Tom said cryptically. So this is your new computer! said Tom calculatingly. So you're in San Francisco Mensa, said Tom homogeneously. So, I'm *not* a vampire, Tom reflected. Some animals will eat their own babies! said Tom literately. Someone removed all the twos from this deck, Tom deduced. Someone stole my computer terminal, said Tom disconsolately. Someone stole my electrolytic capacitor! Tom charged negatively. Someone stole my ept! Tom screamed ineptly. Someone stole my wheels, Tom said tirelessly. Someone's at the door, Tom chimed. -Rambo & Youngquist Sorry that Amin escaped from Uganda, said Tom idiosyncratically. Stop hitting me, Tom expounded. Stop that horse! cried Tom woefully. Stop your sniveling, Tom decried. Sure, I'll get rid of those jewels for you, said Tom defensively. Swifties overly modify dialog exessively, Tom said adverbally. Take me to the dance, Tom bawled. Take me, I'm yours, she said easily. Take sominex, Tom said sleepily. Take tea and see, said Tom briskly. Take that, Lorena said cuttingly. Take this job and SHOVE IT! said Johnny Paycheck resignedly. Take your hand from my blouse! Mary tittered. Tell me folk stories about leprechauns, Tom implored. Thanks for not smoking, Tom breathed. Thanks for shredding the cheese, Tom said gratefully. That Amazon queen wanted me for only one thing, said Tom studiously. That ball was right over the plate, Tom said strikingly. That bird is sick, Tom said illegally. That bird's a turkey, Tom gobbled. That bull has real stage presence, said Tom oratorically. That city will NEVER be rebuilt, the prophets babble on. That feels ... so gooo... OOOHHH, Gawd!, Tom ejaculated. -Gary Caplan That gives me a birdie for this hole, Tom chipped in. That horse looks like a good bet at 75 to 3, said Tom oddly. That illegal turn is going to cost you $20, said the policeman finally. That just doesn't add up, said Tom, nonplussed. That may cause my violin strings to snap, was Tom's gut reaction. That medium did a bad job, Tom said disspiritedly. That penny pincher wants to be addressed formally, Tom surmised. That smells like a skunk, Tom said instinctively. That star is Canopus, said Tom outlandishly. That was a wonderful date, Tom said in Dutch. That was fast! Tom quickly exclaimed. That wizard did a bad job, Tom said disenchantedly. That young insect is female, said Tom gallantly. That young insect is male, said Tom buoyantly. That's a chain reaction, Tom said atomically. That's a common language on micros, said Tom basically. That's a lie! said Tom in falsetto. That's a very large shark, said Tom superficially. That's my gold mine! Tom claimed. That's no beagle, it's a mongrel, Tom muttered. -Roy Bongartz That's not art, Tom said abstractly. That's not really Dracula, Tom discounted. That's price-fixing! said Tom caustically. That's the last time I'll pet a lion, said Tom offhandedly. That's where the next character appears, said Tom with a cursory glance. The baboons are at it again! was Tom's zoophytic analysis. The bank doesn't even want me as a depositor, said Tom unaccountably. The censors took all the dirty bits out of my show, said Tom deludedly. The chicken coop blew up! Tom exploded with egg on his face. The dam is back to front, said the builder madly. The doctors had to remove a bone from my arm, said Tom humorlessly. The doctors have discharged me, said Tom impatiently. The door's ajar, said Tom openly. The dynamite can now explode, Tom added defusingly. The eclipse is starting, said Tom darkly. The enemy has taken stronghold F, said Tom effortlessly. The entire map collection has been stolen! said Tom xerographically. The escaped prisoner is camping out in the woods, said Tom contentedly. The executioner has received the tool, said Tom with a heavy accent. The fire is going out, Tom bellowed. -Roy Bongartz The General's first name was Ulysses, Tom granted. The hydroelectric plant's beautiful! said Tom fainting with dam praise. The insect in William's hand is wearing a yarmulka! said Tom jubilantly. The jelly is 50% set, Tom affirmed. The laser is broken, said Tom incoherently. The law says the building must go here, Tom cited. The leg, she is fracture, Tom said in broken English. -usenet oracle The lion has its head caught in the skylight, said Tom uproariously. The little demon was deceitful, Tom implied. The male sheep was badly cut, Tom rambled. The monster in the lake has eaten my cake, said Tom necessarily. The non attendees today bother me, said the professor absent-mindedly. The paper boy wants money, said Tom collectively. The performance was equal to the music, said Tom noteworthily. The pH of this solution is just 3.5, said Tom acidly. The plastic surgery failed, Tom's doctor said defacingly. The price for these lemons is ridiculous! Tom said sourly. The prisoner escaped by climbing down a rope, said Tom condescendingly. The prisoners set up a corporation, the warden confirmed. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, said Tom nonjudgmentally. The river has gotten rough, Tom said rapidly. The ship is docked, said Tom importantly. The size of those cobs is a-maize-ing! was Tom's corny joke. The smog is really bad today, Tom cried breathlessly. The Soviet press is useful on hot days, said Tom fantastically. The stock market's going up, said Tom bullishly. The USC pool player's equipment didn't arrive on time, Tom calculated. The value of my waterfront property's up, said Tom in a superior manor. There are no more I/O operations to do today, Tom disclosed. There are tiny bugs in the dust, Tom said mightily. There is no end to this sequence of digits, said Tom irrationally. There'll be no strippers in my town, said the sheriff unbareably. There's a blood-sucking insect in my French cheese, said Tom briefly. There's a fundamental importance of learning the alphabet, Abie ceded. There's feline flesh all over the road, Tom said categorically. There's nothing wrong with demons, was Tom's implicit message. There's room for one more, Tom admitted. There's safety in unexciting gentlemen, said Mary indulgently. There's the dog star, Tom said seriously. There's too much vermouth in my martini, Tom said dryly. These are my new sunglasses! Tom glared. These boxing gloves are too big, said Tom heavy-handedly. These genes are dominant, said Tom expressively. These jokes turn my stomach, said Tom wretchedly. These pants are not short enough, said Mary hotly. They threw me out of my subdivision, Tom said distractedly. They'll want a picture of me at the dinner table, Tom supposed. Things are always happening to me, said Tom incidentally. This boat leaks, said Tom balefully. This Bud's for you, said Tom lightly. This chicken has no beak, said Tom impeccably. This computer display is shocking, said Tom electrically. This dinner is made from young calves, Tom revealed. This dugout is infested, said Tom trenchantly. This has been a grave undertaking, said Tom cryptically. This is all from memory, Tom wrote. This is an imitation diamond, said Tom stonily. This is as vile as the Threepenny Opera, said Tom curtly. This is complex, Tom calculated differentially. This is how he murdered the mystery writer, Tom described. This is how to put an imp in a restraining jacket, Tom demonstrated. This is meaningful only to a small select group, Tom added defusingly. This is mutiny! said Tom bountifully. This is my favorite Chinese soup, Tom said wantonly. This is no manual shift car, Tom said automatically. This is not a black-and-white issue, Tom intoned. This is power steering, Tom said automatically. This is the Coda, said Tom finally. This is the first step towards my thesis, said Tom abstractly. This is the most common language used on micros, said Tom basically. This is time travel, Tom said relatively. This isn't real turtle soup, said Tom mockingly. This meat is hard to chew, Tom beefed jerkily. This microfiche goes back where it belongs, said Tom complacently. This must be Nebraska, Tom stated flatly. This must be the high-voltage lead, said Tom crisply. This rocket came from outer space, Tom said exorbitantly. This salad dressing has too much vinegar, said Tom acidly. This soap's corrosive, Tom lyed. This tooth extraction could take forever, said Tom with infinite wisdom. This will get me into the royal bedroom, said Tom kinkily. This, that, these, those, and such, said Tom demonstratively. Those birds are swallows, Tom gulped. Those cars we shipped have a defective part, Tom recalled. Those hookers are putting notices in the personals, Tom advised. Those little black insects will never get in here, Tom said defiantly. Those with fancy foods must be careful with knives, said Tom delicately. To cook well, learn all about spices, Tom said sagely. To write a history of St. Joan would take LOTS of paper, Tom ream-Arc'd. Too bad I can't castle now! said Tom in Czech. Totalitarians remove all traces of my existence! said Tom unpersonably. Trains charge those going to rock concerts, said Tom with fanfare. Travel by motorcycle, said Tom triumphantly. Troops, there's no Christmas show this year, said Tom hopelessly. Try changing the layout of this microprocessor, Tom chipped in. Try to get back on topic, Tom said moderately. Turn down the treble, Tom intoned. Turn the record player down, said Tom disquietingly. Unto thee, Jesus said verily. Use phenolphthalein, Tom indicated. Use your own hair brush, Tom bristled. Vote for _______, said Tom elec-tronically. Wanna buy a halibut? Tom asked selfishly. Watch out for that slicing machine, said Tom disarmingly. Watch where you point that thing, Tom said carefully. We all know what comes after 'X', said Tom, wisely. We didn't inhale, announced Bill and Hillary jointly. We don't have room for any more peripherals, said Tom bus-ily. We had bad moon flight propulsion systems. said NASA apologetically. We had better keep to the subject, Tom said topically. We have another flat, Tom said tiredly. We need a 10-gauge needle, Tom hypothesized. We need a home run hitter, said Tom ruthlessly. We use the Geiger-Muller method to check for radiation, Tom countered. We'll have to operate, Tom's medic said cuttingly. We're all out of Amontillado, Tom reported. We're off to Scotland, said Tom clandestinely. We're philatelists, they shouted collectively. We've taken over the government, the general cooed. Welcome to the Annual Meatcutter's Convention! delivered Tom. Welcome! said the matador. Well, don't bring it hither! Tom yawned. Well, I got here with five minutes to spare, said Tom bitterly. Well, I'll be an S.O.B., said Tom doggedly. Well, that tree definitely isn't a conifer, Tom decided. Well, to be Frank, I'd have to change my name, Tom surrogated. What a grand dam, Tom said coolly. What about the brightness of that Jovian satellite? Tom yodelled. What comes before cocious? Tom asked precociously. What do ants and bees use for cattle? asked Tom avidly. What do you think of the Tibetan ox? yackety-yakked Tom. What I do best on a camping trip is sleep, said Tom intently. What if I can help you to escape from prison? asked Tom contemptuously. What lake did Champlain discover? asked Tom eerily. What should I do about this P.S.? asked Tom submissively. What show can `The Humpty Dumpties' put on? asked Tom exactingly. What's a wide-angle lens? asked Tom obtusely. What's in the middle of an egg? Tom asked eccentrically. What's that reddish stuff on the cannon? Tom asked rustically. What's the capitol of North Vietnam? Tom asked annoyingly. What's the score in the Wonder-Charles tennis game? asked Tom lovingly. What's wrong with a few tea leaves? asked Tom deceivingly. When exactly did Julius Caesar die? wondered Tom idly. When I swore, my mother made me eat soap, said Tom zestfully. Where can I find a copper figure of Lincoln? Tom asked innocently. Where did you get this meat? Tom bridled hoarsely. -Rambo & Youngquist Where did you get those delicious, fresh grapes? Tom asked divinely. Where's the cheese? asked Tom gratingly. Which floor?, Tom said liftingly. Who commanded the confederate army? Tom asked generally. Who is married to the queen? Tom asked achingly. Who is the vice president? Tom asked allegorically. Who is this Tom Swifty character anyway? asked Tom unselfconsciously. Who roomed with MaryAnn on Gilligan's Island? Tom asked gingerly. Who stole my thermal underwear? the hunter asked coldly. Who stole the chapter from my book of fables? asked Tom, demoralized. Who was Pope before John Paul I? Tom asked piously. Who? What? asked Tom warily. Whoops, another power failure, said Tom delightedly. Why are so many of these Tom Swifties about insects? asked the tyrant. Why did my broker get fired, asked Tom as he investigated. Why did they name verbal puns for frogs? Tom croaked. Why do they burn aromatic substances? asked Tom, justly incensed. Why do you bother? I for one couldn't... said Tom carelessly. Why don't we get together this afternoon, she said delightfully. Why don't you sit here? Tom suggested in Lapp. Why don't you try this neglige? asked Tom, transparently. Why is there a 5 day gnu waiting period, Tom oxed? -John Foster Why should I act like Gilda Radner's husband? Tom asked bewilderingly. Why shouldn't I stir my coffee with a ballpoint pen? Tom bickered. Why shouldn't I talk to birds? asked Tom as he ogled. Why use SI? The old c.g.s. are my friends, said Tom dynamically. Will we ever get out of this airport? asked Tom interminably. Within three days I will raise it up, said Jesus cryptically. Would anyone start an Institute for the Mute? asked Tom dumbfoundedly. Wouldn't just gold and frankincense do? the Magi demurred. Wow! That storm made everything so dark, Tom said delightfully. Wrap this up, Tom said gladly. X is an integer, Tom declared. X's and, said Tom wisely. -Edward J O'Brien Yes, I'm THAT strongly built, said Tom soberly. Yes, I've read _Gulliver's Travels_, replied Tom swiftly. Yes, you can help us fight at the corral, Tom Wyatt okayed. You and Patricia deserve each other, said Tom meretriciously. You are going to fail my class, said Tom's teacher degradingly. You are two short of a dozen, said Tom, tensely. You can't go faster than the speed of sound, Tom said mockingly. You can't really train a beagle, Tom dogmatized. -Roy Bongartz You don't have to introduce us, said Tom metaphorically. You gave me two less than a dozen, said Tom tensely. You got the whole blanket said Tom, coldly. You have diabetes, Tom's doctor said sweetly. You have the right to remain silent, said Tom arrestingly. You have to support the right party, said the politician patronizingly. You JERK, said Tom galvanically. You look like a goat, Tom kidded. You may take a vacation in the south of France, said Tom nicely. You must have a lottery in Georgia, Tom said zealously. You need X-rays, said Tom fluoroscopically. You ought to see a psychiatrist, Tom reminded me. -Roy Bongartz You rockers won't make music in MY auditorium, said Tom disconcertingly. You should *never* burn the Stars and Stripes! cried Tom flagrantly. You should be peeling onions, was Tom's tirade. (Pronounce short i.) You snake, Tom rattled. -Rambo & Youngquist You won the bronze, said Tom meddlingly. You're a mangy cur, Tom barked doggedly. You're a real zero, said Tom naughtily. You're a wicked glutton, Tom insinuated. You're burning the candle at both ends, Tom said wickedly. You're losing your grippe! said Tom fluently. You're next, Mistress Ballantrae, said the cannibal masterfully. You're OUT! said Tom baselessly. You've flunked the test, Tom's teacher said degradingly. You've got to be egging me on, yolked Tom. You've stowed his ashes commendably, was Tom's well-earned compliment. You, my friend, are losing your hair, Tom stated baldly. Your bowling ball's not in the lane, said Tom gutturally. Your drip-dries are crumpled, said the laundress ironically. Your embroidery is sloppy, Tom needled cruelly. -Rambo & Youngquist Your fly is undone, was Tom's zippy rejoinder. Your meat, madam! announced the two butcher boys jointly. Zero, said Tom naughtily. Zo please tell us what you have for zale, said Tom zealously. " ", said Tom blankly. {sum += $2} END {print sum}, said Tom awkwardly. "!" exclaimed Mark. "... and lose a few", said Tom winsomely. "...and I can't get up!" Tom wept impotently. Tom blanched as he cried "There's no print on the paper!" Tom's research on sperm was his seminal acheivement.