Archived Blog from October 2002

today was halloween. there were plenty of people dressed up today, especially walking back home on telegraph. my EE lab TA gave us candy to eat. i chose the m&m's over the kitkat since i had a craving for m&m's ever since we had that statistics lecture in 160. again, i am feeling pooped today. i guess the best thing about halloween is that it is officially the start of the holiday season for me. from hence, there will thanksgiving decorations for the next month and then after that christmas decorations! the air is brisk and the days are short, in just the right mix to make you feel cozy and warm inside.

the little things make me laugh. when people say things wrong by mistake, it makes me chuckle. i was eavesdropping on a conversation and one person asked, "what about the spin generator?" the other person looked confused. the first person corrected himself and said, "oh sorry, i meant the spim emulator." i know you don't know what a "spim emulator" is but it's something real, unlike a "spin generator" which is not a real thing. although it sounds like something that would be used in physics. anyway, the funny thing was that the person got the words mixed up and said the wrong thing. it made me laugh. just like "kipsnack" and "subzume". oh and happy birthday, marcus. not that anyone reads this anyway. ok, gotta finish off writing about ternary huffman code (of course, in contrast to binary huffman code).

i'm tired. gotta midterm tomorrow. hafta get enuf sleep tonight. lots of stuff to do this week! eek! which reminds me, anyone remember the cartoon "Eek, the Cat"?

i got a razor scooter and i used it today to get to class. it didnt really save me much time since i can't use in certain parts of campus that have recently been demarcated as pedestrian zones. on my way back home, i used it after i got off campus to get home and it was really fun. going home, the streets are slightly sloped, so i can coast without much effort. i only hope i dont fall and hurt myself. i would bring it with me all the time, but i dont like bringing it into class since there usually is no place to put it in the lecture halls. i think the razor scooter is a well-spent $11.38

the talk in the GUIR meeting was about a former researcher's experiences in industry. the picture that he drew (or rather the one that emerged from the talk) was one of fighting to get people to take usability factors seriously into product development. it looks like this field is rewarding yet at many times frustrating when there are so many competing factors involved. unfortunately, usability is often relegated to be low on the list of priorties, which is usually topped ironically by "the bottom line". i wonder when will industry realize that usability should be really high up there. amazon and google supposedly place it high on their list, maybe that is why they are doing so well.

They thought they could use you
Push you down and abuse you 
And what's so sad is you've decided to hide all your feelings
Got more pain than you can deal with but ask yourself, how can this last? 

I know you have the weight of the world today, it's on your back. 
A heavy load like that is gonna hold you back, it's gonna drag you down.
You know it just can't last, you know it just can't last. 

i was in a giggly mood today. the smallest of things made me laugh. in 170 lecture, we started to chat a little in class and joke around since the material was rather simple today. anyway, to make a long story short (too late...), i found out that my friend has seven backpacks. yup, seven. when asked why, he replied that he and his brother get a new one every semester. when asked why he needs a new one every semester, he said he doesn't, but i guess it was a tradition. that bit of conversation was source of my giggling for the rest of the lecture. i got into one of those moods. and when the professor said that the larger space 'subzumes' (instead of 'subsumes') the smaller one, i cracked up again. thankfully the lecture was almost over. after class, as i was walking with another buddy from that class, he mentioned that problem 2 in the hw was similar to the 'kipsnack' problem mentioned in lecture. he quickly corrected his pronouncication to the correct form of "knapsack." i am still laughing about that now. imagine me laughing out loud with no one around. that's what i do. all this stuff probably isn't very funny but it was (and still is) a riot of laughter for me.

two verses that i encountered today on my walk home: Matt 5:8 and John 10:10

I've said this before and I'll say it again. I hate Electrical Engineering. There is nothing interesting about it. Who cares whether output voltage equals some function of (Vb-Va) if A is very large? I certainly don't. Nobody (including EE majors) can really define what current, voltage, resistance, etc is. They are apparently just some properties of circuits. Current is movement of charge. What is charge? Well it's an electron. So electrons are moving? NOPE! Why not? I dunno, they just don't. So how can charge flow??? Voltage is potential. What does that mean? Oh, I dunno. That's just what i learn. I hate Electrical Engineering. Anyway, who cares about this stuff? There are plenty of people in the world who dont know what an op-amp is and they are doing just fine. There are plenty of computer scientists who dont remember what an op-amp is. And they are doing just fine. I'd never thought I'd ever say this, but I even like philosophy more than circuit analysis. I hate Electrical Engineering. I hate Electrical Engineering. I hate Electrical Engineering. Get the point?

i'm gonna stop talking about my boring day here in this weblog. i think i will start writing about things that are on my mind. sometimes it might be about my day but sometimes not. a song that is stuck in my head is 10K Maniacs/Natalie Merchant's song titled "Gold Rush Brides." Not only is the melody compelling but the comment that the song makes causes me to think. It talks about the wives of the gold rushers back in the mid 1800's. The song talks about the sacrifices women had to make to venture out to the West with hopes of literally striking gold. The songs asks, "Who were the homestead wives? Who were the gold rush brides? Does anybody know?" History just so happened to not remember that these women played a crucial role in the expansion of the west. They supported their husbands, ran the household (whatever they had), and gave birth to children in midst of all these changes. The song comments on the overenthusiasm and haste that overwhelmed the miners: "In miner's lust for gold a family's house was bought and sold, piece by piece." Women sacrificed their established lives in the East to risk it with their husbands. When their husband fell victim to the many deaths in the mines, "A widow staked her claim on a dollar and his name, so painfully." "The land was free yet it cost their lives." At the very least, this song made me think of these forgotten group of courageous women. I hope you got something out of this song vicariously through my writing. That's why I like music that is insightful. Call it whatever genre you like. I'm sorry...trance is just too boring and hip hop is full of angst and hate.

an aside: the more i read, the more examples of writing that impresses me. it is inspirational.

another long day. from 9am to basically 1am. sure i had a few breaks here and there. about half and hour for lunch and about 15 mins before meeting people for dinner. why should i moan about my long day? well, i shouldn't. let's talk about background music. another one of the odd things that i would like is there to be background music playing in the background everywhere you go. the kind of music that is very inobtrusive much like elevator music or the relaxing jazz. then i expect my life to be like one big tv show or movie with the music "narrating" everything i do and all the thoughts that occur to me. an aside: i often like to narrate my life. (is that possible?) tibi posse est. (it is for me.)

as i was walking back from class today, i noticed a crowd of people surrounding two students in a brawl. these two people were apparently taking swings at each other. i don't know what the dispute is about, but it might have been caused by the crazy guy who preaches his heresy and cynicism to students in the courtyard of dwinelle. all i know was that these students (males) were fighting and their friends were trying to break it up. it actually was kinda funny since one friend tried to break up the fight but he was thrown off to the side. eventually it was broken up. and then one of them began (or continued) to talk trash about the other one, and again they both rushed each other and this time the bigger guy almost pinned the smaller guy to the ground, but it was broken up again rather quickly. nobody seemed to be hurt...well at least physically. hmmm...i guess some people resort to physical aggression to resolve problems. perhaps this particular instance was incited by the heat of the moment. i don't know. i guess i'm lucky to be one of those people who avoid such dangerous confrontation. humans are odd creatures, arent they?

I have a bit of a headache today. I just can't seem to keep awake and attentive in my EE class. It's just not that interesting. I wonder should I always bring in a crossword puzzle or something to keep me awake. It is times like that I really did have have a cup of tea or coffee to keep me awake. Since Telebears is coming up, I reviewed my plan for the courses I plan to take the rest of my time here at Cal as an undergrad. And if my plan is approved, I should be done in 4.5 years. But is it wise to graduate in December? I dunno. I mean, I can definitely keep busy for all 5 years. I am planning to opt out of cs150 and cs162 if i can since they are two killer classes. ok, to go off on a tangent...i experienced a very unprofessional graduate student giving a guest lecture today. he was very informal, which is something i am not used to in the research community. but i am sure that my presentation skills are far from acceptable. i hope one day to be able to make an academic presentation without even worrying about it. another aside: i encountered no mention of our friend chris columbus nor of native americans on this "Columbus Day" or "Indigenous Peoples Day." It was just another monday.

"behold a marvel in the darkness"

Despite having taken two midterms earlier this week, i have felt relatively unstressed for the latter part of this week. It's because the problem sets for those two classes are postponed until next week due to the midterms. I guess the midterms are helpful for my learning since i have since learned everything about the class that i need to and the low grades i received on them are a big motivation for me to keep up with the class and do better.

After my cs170 midterm (which was rather traumatic since i panicked [yup, to my amazement that's how it's spelled]), i went to the computer lab with nothing much to do except contemplate the potentially bad grade i will receive on the test. i was surfing the web and i started to think about how fun Latin is and how fun it was to memorize and quote parts of the Aeneid by Virgil. You may very well see me quoting parts of the Aeneid I remember from High School. Boy, those were fun times. If someone is really really upset, I may quip that she might "defile her countenance with her nails." I will leave you with one quote that I have always liked (you figure it out): "Tantaene animis caelestibus irae?" - Aeneid, Book 1, Line 11.

I just took two midterms this week. For my EE midterm, I scored the median, which is not good if I am aiming for an A. For my cs170 midterm, I don't know my score yet, but I figure it wont be anything higher than 90/150. The mean is speculated to be somewhere around 80-90, so it looks like I will get the mean. For both tests, the TA's went over the solutions shortly after the test. And in both cases, the solutions were really really simple. And did I get them during the test? Nope. Did I know all the concepts? Yes. But could I recall them and apply them when under pressure? Nope. It's frustrating that I crack under pressure when I take the test. If a solution does not come immediately to mind, I panic and look at the clock and panic some more. I move on to the next problem and the solution doesnt come immediately into mind and I panic, and the process continues. I really need to learn to calm down during the test and focus on the exam--not failing the exam. If I had 3 hours to take the exam, then I'll know that I can take my time and read the question carefully and get how to do it. Where can I get help with this? Meanwhile, I will remember to keep up with both classes so that I dont have to cram during the last minute. Oh well...some people are blessed with good test taking skills. Unfortunately I am not one of those lucky people.

I just got a fabulous idea. i think a really fun trip would be to visit different parts of the United States/Canada to learn about/study the specific dialects used in those particular regions where English is spoken. For example, if we journey to Boston, people might ask me if i have any "brothuhs" or "sistuhs" and say that the "tonic" they ordered (ie: a soda) is "wicked good". If we go to some of the prairie states, people might ask us if I've been to "Warshington" D.C. And of course, if we go to Toronto, we will encounter people who talk just like how Avril Lavigne sings. (An aside: when I first heard "Complicated", I recognized Avril's Canadian accent (biggest give away: notice how she pronounces the word "pose"...it's not like how we say it here in california thats for sure) and my suspicions were confirmed when I found out that she's from French Canada. Hoorah for dialectology!) In NYC, we would of course go to Saks Fifth Avenue and hear the traditional accent midwestern accent, but if we go to the garment district, we might hear people who drop their r's after vowels, such as "Wheh did you pahk ya cah?" A must stop is Martha's Vineyard we will encounter the classic identifying accent. But alas, this seems like one of those trips similar to my trip thru germany visiting car factories. that is, it's something that probably only i would like to do and would bore most other people. people might say that i'm "retahded." something to remember is that people would find my california accent to be strange. here in california we don't distinguish how we pronounce "caught" and "cot" while most other people do.

it's kinda a bad feeling to walk away from a test knowing that one of the problems you did is wrong. that's why i hate finding out the answers to questions right after the test. i'd rather wait and find out what i got on my exam and to see what i got wrong. well, i dont think i will ever forget that in the steady state, there isnt any current. well i still think something is weird about that problem. no matter. i must concentrate on studying for my cs170 midterm tomorrow. i hope it will go better than today's midterm. an aside: it's very hot today. when will this hot weather ever stop? after all, this is NOT southern california. and i'm glad it isnt.

there arent too many things i hate. but there are a few. one of the first things that first comes to mind is that canned chicken in black bean sauce i bought and ate while in england. i ate it before my trip to prague, and i was throwing up all the way through the trip. thinking about that wretched taste makes me tingle with nausea. i'm not sure how much money it would take someone to pay me before i'd take another spoonful of that stuff. another thing i am slowly become to hate, is EE. yup, electrical engineering. sorry harold, but this stuff is just so uninteresting and boring and hard! give me a high level programming language any day over this circuit analysis stuff. there are computers that can solve any circuit and nobody builds computers with resistors or the supposedly imaginary "current source" anymore. i enjoyed the low level aspects of CS in 61c, but when it gets down to the circuit level, it's boring and hard. i lack help in the class. i think i just need to sit down with someone who knows all the stuff and learn how to do all this stuff. im worried about the midterm on monday since i know nothing about circuits except that they annoy me. be careful or else they will annoy you.

first some technical geeky stuff. i have decided to use SSH to upload my files onto the web server for this page instead using "unsecure" FTP. this way no one should be able to spy on my connection and see my password/login. ok, now to something i found amusing. in cs170 class today (remember the class with the teacher who cant teach very well?), his microphone kept on falling off and hitting the ground with a bang loud enough to wake up my deep-slumbering neighbor. the mic never fell off during previous classes, but it happened to fall off twice today. when it fell, i had to stifle my laughter. if i could have laughed, it would have been one of those nonstop loud laughs that would scare people around me. if you're a little confused about how the mic could "fall off", well it's because it is hung from a loop of wire on the neck. it happened that the loop became undone and it fell off. the loop is then attached to a very long cord that is plugged into the wall, so the mic is often reminiscent of a collar and leash. if the professor decided on a whim to walk off the stage, he would be promptly punished by an almost lynching tug at the neck. so perhaps, it was designed to keep the prof on the stage, as far away from the students as possible. or perhaps it was designed to unravel itself in a jungle of wires on the stage floor, creating a booby trap for the prof to trip over in every lecture. apparently, my prof has foiled this latter plan of the mic people--he gathers up a sizeable chunk of wire and coils it and holds onto it so that he doesnt trip over it. he's smart. but in terms of looking silly, he still has bit to learn since he tends to hold the coil of wire up in the air a little below shoulder height. so imagine him standing with a coil of wire in his left hand held high and a piece of chalk in his right hand, trying to explain us the intricacies of graph traversal. he would often have to drop the coil and we heard a thud, the sound of the coil hitting the ground and joining the jungle of other wires on the floor. i think funny observations like these keep me awake in that class. of course, there's always the fall back chuckle-inducing event of his shirt becoming untucked. it happens almost every class. although when he wears a polo shirt, it manages to stay tucked a bit better. even though he doesnt teach very well, he does try hard--just about as hard as his shirt tries to become untucked during the lecture. i have an odd sense of humor--"deal with it."

Want to know more about some of the things I mentioned? email me: mllee [at] cal.berkeley.edu