Why the hell does this guy even have a blog?

AAAAHHHH!!!!!!

So my mother's travelling buddy was in town for a day. His flight arrived Thursday at 7:30 PM from Singapore. I go with my mother to pick him up since she wanted to use the carpool lane on the way to the airport at this time, figuring he'd be out of customs near enough to when we go there. Her brilliant plan is for me to drop her off at the terminal so that she can track down her friend while I do loops around LAX. Normally, driving in loops around LAX is pretty damn maddening to start with. If only...

About 2 loops into this, Cristina calls me, telling me she's in Downey, and wants to get some ice cream. Cristina lives in NY, and thus I don't get to see her often. I tell her what I'm up to, and if she can hold on for about 45 min, I'll see what I can do about meeting her. 3 loops later, I call Alvaro, just to rant about my current situation, comparing and contrasting the activities of "Driving around LAX to meet middle-aged Indian guy" and "eating ice cream with cute Romanian brunette." About 10-15 loops later, I get another call from Cristina, telling me she can't wait any longer, and she's leaving Downey.

At this point, I'm sufficiently annoyed that I want to find out what the hell is going on with my mother and her friend. I park the car, then wander over to his terminal. I wander around there 20 minutes and even have my mother paged, but no sign of them. I then get a voicemail from my mother, telling me that she's nearly worried to death that she hasn't seen me and that she and her friend have taken a cab home. I call the house, and our conversation starts out like this:

Mom: "Hello?"
Me: "Hi."
Mom: "Who is this?"
Me: "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN 'WHO IS THIS!?!?'"

She then asks where I am, and I tell her I'm wandering the terminal looking for her stupid ass (not those words, wish they were), and she castigated me for my decision to stop doing loops, saying that's the reason we never found each other. I hang up on her at this point, head over to the car, and start driving home. I check the current time, the time stamp on her voicemail, and the time I got off the phone with Cristina last, and put it together that she got in the cab before I stopped driving in circles around the airport. Call up Cristina, start ranting bloody murder over the phone about the latest developments in this misadventure. Over the course of the talk and the drive home, I realize I really don't want to see my mother at this point. I notice that I have my car keys with me (we took Mom's car), so my plan is to just drop off her car, pick up mine, and go anywhere that's not my house.

I get to my house, put my stuff in my car, then put her keys in the mailbox. She heard this, comes out, and tries to ask me what happened. I don't want to deal with her, so I get into my car and am nearly about to take off, when she taps on my window, insisting she wants to talk to me. I roll down the window enough to yell at her that she left while I was still driving around the airport, so all this was her fault for either being in the wrong place, or not doing a passable job of getting my attention if I was just going past her over and over. She takes this opportunity to put her fingers in my window so that I can't roll it up and so she can keep talking. I then go out my passenger door, tell her to roll up my window when she's done, and go for a short walk.

I decide when I walk past the church that borders my yard that I'd go through its parking lot, hop the fence into my front yard, and try to get my car again without being noticed. I was noticed, my mother comes out again, trying to ask me to help her figure out what happened. I told her that her message said she was worried, that I'm clearly fine, and that I'm not in the mood to have a discussion with her on anything past that at this moment. She keeps going, I remind her again. She keeps going, I tell her to shut up. Never mind that I've already told her I put in at least 15 loops at LAX and a ton of searching a terminal, she wants answers now, my current state of mind be damned. If I ever had any questions where my sister's narcissism complex comes from, that moment answered those clearly.

I take off for Westwood, figuring I'd hang out with my brother and complain to him about this, seeing as he's the only sane adult relative I have. He went to bed early, as he had an 8:00 class the next morning. So I caught up with my friend, Sam, who's in UCLA's law school. Hung out with him until 3 AM, then came home. My mother and I haven't exchanged a word since.

Manic driving, dysfunctional family life, and the girl getting away. I should write a script. This movie would have everything...

Posted by Naeem at April 29, 2006 02:06 AM