El Oso

Hi. I'm so glad you could make it. I was a Film Student at this fine established university. Seeing as though the web is a place where most people tend to tell everyone every single excruciating detail of their lives, I thought I might as well jump on to the iMac usin' iVolkswagenBug drivin' iRave goin' iLife o' the iStudent and force feed you every excruciating detail of my life that I'm sure you're just dying to know about. It also has occurred to me that a lot of people I know ask me the same questions daily. Thus, in an effort to multicast responses to everyone in the most efficient manner, you should look at this webpage for the answers for those frequently asked questions.

My God, you are utterly lame, don't you have a life? Ah, well actually I have. Some people can attest to that.
My God, you are utterly cool, how can I get a hold of you? Like everyone else and their dog in Amerika, I have an email:
oso at OCF.Berkeley.EDU

In the Beginning... (Pre-history: Junio 93 - Enero 98)

Didn't you like have a band or something at some point? Yes, I actually was stupid enough to waste my time doing the MTV lie. Several times, because I am a slow learner:

Vile Children ('93 - '94)

The Dead Pets ('94 - '95)

Flyswatter (more or less, The Dead Pets Unplugged) ('95 - '96)

The Idiot Parade ('96 - '97)

Secret Agents of Soul (Spring break '98).
Note: I am not Y2k Compliant, because I assume you all have brains.
What was your stagename? El Kabong. Named after Quick Draw's alter ego masked man. Given to me when I hit a guy at the Norwalk show over the head with the guitar when he started grabbing our rhythm guitarist Strawberry's breasts. She didn't miss a beat, while trying to kick him away. What a trooper.
I thought that was the guy from The Super Six? The Kid who could fly on his guitar like a hoverboard? The cartoon ruled. That could be it too, but i don't remember the name of the flying guitar kid.
Why should I bother to do my homework when I could be in a glorious band like you did? You must have a low SAT verbal score, or perhaps are illiterate. Please re-read the italicized print. Other than that, think about this, as I told my civ. engineer friend not too long ago when he asked me a similiar question, if i has spent all that time futzing around in a "band" doing stuff that would greatly help out my scriptwriting skills, I would be a much better screenwriter today than I am currently. Maybe even as good as The Editing Room.
What did you like to think about in that time period? Well, mostly i like to think about how I'm going to stay awake for the rest of the day. It's kind of a daunting task. I go to the film studio often, and sometimes I'm there until late at night, working on the scripwriting i do. Sometimes i sit and listen on the phone alot. To people. Sometimes I wonder how I can justify my philantropic and Marxist ideals and morals when I live in a decadent bourgeoisie cosumerist society which continually rapes the Third World.
No, I meant, what do you think about when you wrote lyrics for your early 90's LA Bands? Well, I was a teenager then, so most of the time I wrote about the women I have slept with back then.
Where are those damn songs from your old band? Well, here's a song about leaving Long Beach, called, On The Road and here's one about the comparison between a woman and a heroin needle, Needle In My Arm. Yes, I'm singing and playing guitar on these. What someone wanted me to link to: the Eyesores.
So what's with the Flying Jesuses? We played lower sproul, on 3.3.00. We also played Hoyt on 3.4.00.
How do you have time to play in a band? I quit playing starcraft, nethack, and nettrek. This added hours back to my free time.
So when do I get to hear your new band/ read the lyrics? Mp3s and lyrics are here. Also, if you have a better idea for a band name, email me. We are currently called The Flying Jesuses, a name which I rather hate.
Whoa, so what happend to the band? I have left the Flying Jesuses amicably over musical differences; I am pursuing a more electronic form of music. I'm pursuing a musical project entitled Jack's Smirking Revenge

The Long Long Ago (Undergrad: Enero 98 - Junio 02)

Why did you walk 2 years in a row ? I walked twice. First for myself, and the second time for my dead homiez. You're decking for Bog an' all his Holy Angels now, Nik. Peace be with you.
What does Cal have to offer the common man? Hear what your fellow students will say when you get here! Here are some famous people to come from cal and have their pictures taken. See for yourself.
Whassup wit Santa Barabas? Hmm. You tell me.
Why do people make sweats with no pockets in them? Because designers are stupid. Stupid. I mean here's like the most comfortable thing I have to wear, but i can't wear it because obviously it wasn't intended for me to wear them outside the frat house because i can't put my damn keys in any pockets. Brilliant design guys. Brilliant.
What up with White Wolf? I honestly don't know- I remember them hiring this guy to do one revision, then they go ahead and junk him not too long after. Course now they just replaced the old with the new. However this guy has the best viewpoint ever on rpg'ing.
What type of film stuff do you do? I used to work solely with words until a few years ago. I also write scripts. Here is someone who isn't so famous who writes scripts. Here is someone who wrote something famous. Here are Writers who have LJ's. Nowadays I experiment with other media, since text is not likely to be as buzzword compliant. Like this photographic piece, entitled Educational Imperialism: A plight of the modern student in the malaise and decadence of the intellectualist bourgeoise gestalt. This one is a self portrait called How I feel in the fall 1999 semester, because of my two fucked up film classes.
What do you do in your spare time? I live in a frat house and pick up women. Sometimes I like to party. At other times I like to party. Most of the time, I like to party.
No really. I work. I put myself thru college.
I thought you weren't a smoker, wtf? The facts are: I buy 1 pack of Dunhills every 6 months. I also enjoy the occasional (and long overdue) cuban cigar with some fine Chevas Regal on new years eve. Does this make me a smoker?
What was Urban Wasteland? These are a series of raves that Sameer threw. He spins there sometimes. They were 100% free. Party safely. You can watch silly people trying to imitate the playstation game Bust-A-Groove, in the vicinity of the Oakland docks. He has a mailing list you can get on, and posts these events to the alt.sf.raves newsgroup. Last guest DJ was Bryce. You can even run into the OCF General manager at these events.
What is a "rave"? It's a place where guys check out chicks who shake their booties.
What is Defcon? It's actually a lot of things to a lot of people. Mostly it's an excuse to get free booze in Las Vegas. That's all. Don't give me any of that cyber-this informational autobahn-that, ultra-lefty-libertarian conservative buzzword of the 90's crap. It's just a freakin' party in the desert - sure, famous people drop by, but there is nothing even remotely intellectual or informational that goes on. Think of it as walking onto the set of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Camelot (Dotcom Era Working Man: Junio 00 - Noviembre 02)

I hear you're a .com rockstar? Being an SF Cyberpunk Sarariman's pretty damned cool. The suit, the katana-brief case, I felt very Harry Wyckoff. Life's all beach houses, fast cars, and stock options. Long hours too. Flex time and flex space. Of course, I didn't let it affect my party lifestyle. It took a clever handling of time, and energy to party whenever I wasn't working.

The cool places to go were this place called no-name sushi (I think it's actually listed as Yokoso Nippon at 14th and Church in SF). BAGG, if you get over the silly puritan predilictions in your mind, has some of the best dj's spinning music (imagine that, going to a club to hear good music). I've taken some of my straightedge friends there, and even they agree that it has good music. If you get the chance, check out funk music by the Local SF group Taos Hum. If you are forced by corporate to go to Los Angeles for some convention, remember that all is not lost, for you can go to Bar Sinister where they have some pretty good tunes to spin.

SF living is Life on the Edge. The SF cyberpunk scene is that nebulous zone where risk takers and highriders go. You'll risk your cash, your rep, even your life on something as vague as a principle or a big score. Living in San Francisco, you want to be the action, start the rebellion, and light the fire. Join great causes and fight for big issues. Never drive slow when you can drive fast. Throw yourself up against danger and take it head on. Never play too safe. Stay commited to the Edge.

What do you mean? Attitude. Attitude is everything. It's truth. Think dangerous; be dangerous. Think weak; be weak. Remember, everyone in the 2k's is carrying lots of tech toys and high tech skills. They won't be impressed by web design you did as a high school kid, unless you swagger into the interview like Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous, with a beta copy of macromedia software looking like you know how to use it, and are just itching for an excuse.
And if you dont? Style over Substance. It doesn't matter how well you do something, as long as you look good doing it. If you're going to blow it, make sure you look like you planned it that way. Normally, clothes and looks don't matter in the workplace - in SF, going to work with a leather armor jacket and mirrorshades is a serious consideration.

The Before Time (Noviembre 02 - Agosto 03)

Is this a blog? No, this is a blog.
Kansas? Kansas. You're probably wondering why a cyberpunk like me wants to live in Kansas. First off, it's not forever, rent is damned cheap in Kansas. As you know, jobs are scant in the Bay Area, and look to be that way for the next oh.. 2 presidential terms. So why not take the saved money and hole up somewhere to avoid the apocalypse? Russell, KS is cheap, it has low crime, and it's the home of Bob Dole! It's very peaceful here, and I'm liking it so far.
You're Kidding. No joke, young jedi. Living on The Edge for 4 years has made me want to slow down. Right now we have an extremely hostile White House and an extremely hostile congress to the California tech industry. Why stay and be screwed? If this is any repeat of when Reagan was back in office, the gap between the rich and poor will widen and the best you you can do now is hold onto your money. Hole up dig in, and bunker down.

Kansas is also a meat state; which means Kansas economy is tied to other meat states like Texas, and yes, they need IT people in the meat industry too. It is warmer than Montana, and I like the zen of the seasons.

What's it like, this zen? It's pretty good actually. I get up, do the morning tai chi, grab a book, go downtown, have a cup of coffee at the local shop. For lunch I have a tuna fish sandwich and then I go to the booster club to play some draughts or whist (or wist).
Whist? See Edgar Allen Poe on whist.
Oh. I walk out into the fields to watch the sun go down setting the grain a nice fiery red. Once in a while i have a really good steak at Merridys. I pass by the Dole house and think, "What would Bob do?"
Won't you get bored without the action and the excitement of the Edge? Action. Excitement. A jedi craves not these things.
Not even a little peril? I went to SENLOO once. It sucked royally. Big letdown. Cut the vacation short and went back to home in Russell.
Why did you resign? I resigned, because for a long time i felt...

I've seen the Kansas of your sweet little myth.

Now (Agosto 03 - present)

So now what? So here it is. Everything that has come in the times of Camelot has gone. All I can see is the empty dustbowl that remains. Vapid and vacant. The still air twirls around me as it too moves away. My friends are either pixels on a screen, or passers by who I dare not know more about lest they bring more pain to a saddened existence. I wish I couldn't feel, and that the ghosts of the past just would either welcome me into the arms of the netherworld or quit their incessant voices in my ear.

A truck pulls up, we're packing off to the next encampent. We'll be 10 miles east of Vegas by the 1st, just in time for me to see some old friends. We'll be there for some time, and then head off to Reno, and then to Salt Lake City.

Why are you a gypsy? Because nothing else makes sense in this world right now. No point in working - everything you can possibly make they'll take from you. Everything you work for will dissappear. With a line on the phone, it all goes away. Everything you remember. It was all too short too sweet, and I was to blind to realize the paradise found - and now I run from paradise lost.

When will you return? Return? Everybody's Hungry Ghost, man. Nothing to return to. Atlantis sank beneath the waves, Camelot died with Arthur, even the aliens won't use the runways they built in peru. We're naught but a short warm span betwixt the ice ages. Believe me, you just can't go back in time. Otherwise I'd just be in 2000 forever. You just can't go back. I've tried all the ways I know. If you find a way, you let me know.

Time be time, mon.

Last updated Sun Aug 17 01:23:36 PDT 2003