Slow Down Buddy
It’s very hard for any of us to fully understand let alone empathize with the problems of others. We are all just trying to get by and deal with the things that we have going on in our won lives. When we see a friend in a bad mood we try our best to help them out through talking and maybe trying to take their minds of the situation that is causing all of the difficulty. When we happen to encounter someone outside of our own circle of friends it becomes a sticky situation if we are not properly prepared to meet the challenge.
Having lived in cities for my whole life I certainly have plenty of experience dealing with people. There have been time when I have gone on vacation to a place where the allure is the lack of a large population and I find myself becoming lonely. When you have a neighborhood of millions it can be hard to take yourself away from people even for a moment. Having grown out of an environment I would have thought that I would be able to take any human inconsistencies when I see them. Unfortunately, I hate to say it, I think that my age may have finally caught up with my personality.
The other day I was driving here in the city and I was going to visit a friend who lives over in Oakland for the time being. She called me up and asked if I could help her move. I always want to help my friends when they need it because I hope they will do the same for me. So I got in my little car and drove over there and helped her move. The problem arose when I was coming back around dusk. I was just getting off of the bridge and as I looked in my rear view mirror I noticed a car coming up behind me so fast I thought for sure i was going to get hit. This little black street car was weaving in between trucks and after flying past me he even cut off a public bus which was forced to break very quickly. I was a little bit shaken because until he was out of sight I thought for sure someone was going to go flipping down the highway at seventy miles an hour.
Ten years ago I probably would have been caught dating the driver of that car. Five years before that I was looking for people like that. After that car had passed me I realized that at some point something within me has changed for the better. There is certainly something to be said for the common good of all people and that traffic jams are a good sign of respect for the law. I think people should be who they want to be and all of that, but if you are endangering everyone on the road then you should do everyone a favor and just ride a fast bicycle instead.
Posted on Monday, May 19, 2008 @ 10:32 PM by Carolyn Norris
They are SO bad
Any of my long time readers will know by now that I am not a kid person. I don’t mind children. I have to say that right off the bat because I feel it would be too much of a homogenous statement to just lay on someone. I have no disdain for children, but I know I don’t want to have children just as much as some of my friends want them immediately. At this point in my life I look around and see that most of my friends either have kids of they are freaking out because they don’t yet. For many of them it is this big dream they have had ever since they were little and they never want to let go of the vision of the picket fence and dog in the yard. I on the other hand have no anxiety over the issue. I don’t think that I need to put any pressure on the issue right now because I don’t have an urge to find someone and I certainly don’t need any more stress in my life. I mean I am a professional, going to school, and trying to enjoy my life. The last thing I need are a couple of kids to take care of and another relationship to tend to on a constant basis.
I think the reasons for my lack of desire to have children are a bit obscure, and the reasons for my comfort with the single life goes back to my mother. She raised me from experience and not from a parenting book or the stereotypical model of women. My mother is a feminist and was a teenager when the sixties totally brought her out of the mothering model of the fifties. For her it is all about being a women who doesn’t need a partner, but it is much more important to be a woman who loves herself. I think that her messages, whether explicit or not, really sunk in to the way that I think. I have been raised to support myself, be strong with my convictions, and never take myself for granted. Though my mother had six kids and still managed to be an accomplished writer of feminist books, it was her choice and she let all of us know that from the beginning.
In my life I have many goals and acquaintances that have allowed me to feel confident in the track my life is on. I don’t ever want to look at my life and think that I have done something wrong or taken a path that is not right for me. At the same time I want to follow my heart in every moment. That is why I can feel confident that the choices I make every day will never let me down and won’t ever steer me wrong. So in the words of my mother I say good bye by saying, “Don’t ever listen to others when you didn’t ask for their opinion.”
Posted on Thursday, May 15, 2008 @ 10:29 PM by Carolyn Norris
Lucky Monkey
Do you know someone who seems to have all the luck in the world? They get upgraded on a flight, they are hired for their dream job, and they win at lottery, bingo and poker. It seems nothing is out of reach for some people. Is it luck or is there something else that helps these certain individuals obtain everything their hearts desire?
I have a friend who is one of these lucky people and I’m here to give you the secret behind their lucky streak. Lucky people are generally outgoing, cheerful and speak to those around them. People are more apt to help someone who seems appreciative. When Julie gets on a plane she speaks to the stewardess and tells her how many times she has flown with the airline and then mentions that she has never flown in first class and would love to try it one day. If a seat is open in first class the stewardess knows the first person she is going to offer the seat to is Julie. Why? Because she has asked for what she wants in a cheerful, appreciate manner.
The same goes for getting a job. A travel writer wanted a job as a travel show host and took videos of herself acting as a show host every time she went on vacation. When an opening came up as a travel show host she submitted the tapes and got the job. Why? She had positioned herself as already performing the role and showed her employers that she could handle the job.
There is a joke about a woman who wanted to win the lottery and prayed to God every night for assistance in winning the prize. After years of not winning she lashed out in one of her prayers and was told that she had to help out and buy a ticket. If you want to win the lottery the first step is buying a ticket. The same is true in anything that you do, if you want something you have to participate in getting it. Things are not going to come to you while you sit silently on the couch.
Are you beginning to see the pattern? The people we perceive as lucky have positioned themselves to win. They tell people what they are looking for and ask for what they want, they are appreciative and cheerful, they act as if they already have what they want and they participate.
Try these tips the next time there is something you want and see if your luck changes.
Posted on Saturday, May 10, 2008 @ 9:50 AM by Carolyn Norris
Snap, Crackle, Pop!
My boyfriend had hurt his back lifting a motorcycle trailer just before he came to visit last week. I massaged his back, but it didn’t seem to help so he asked if there was a chiropractor in the neighborhood. There was one next to my gym, but I had never gone inside, because I am one of those rare people that doesn’t have back pain. Please don’t hate me, but I have never had pain that hasn’t gone away in a few hours or minutes.
The chiropractor was able to see him right away and he came out of the office looking refreshed and relaxed. I couldn’t believe that a few minutes of adjustment could make such a difference. He said a lot of people are under the misconception that adjusting your back makes it worse and you become dependant on weekly spinal manipulation to avoid pain. He said most people don’t realize that they are out of alignment and when they are aligned for the first time they are amazed at how good they feel and go back because the feeling is euphoric. Now I was intrigued, sometimes my back is a little stiff in the morning and after a few stretches in the shower I am fine. Was I slightly out of alignment and could I feel even better?
I made an appointment for the following Saturday to check it out. They took insurance, so I filled out the obligatory paperwork and was in the exam room within a few minutes of my arrival. The doctor checked my paperwork and was surprised to find out that I didn’t have any pain in my back or neck. Most people go to a chiropractor as a last resort and he was happy to work on someone who could benefit almost immediately. The doctor checked my blood pressure which was excellent. He said he could tell that I ran daily because my pulse was even lower than his. So far, so good.
Now for the neck and back exam. I lied down on my stomach and he checked the alignment of my legs. My hip was ever so slightly out of alignment, which he said was common in runners. To his amazement, my back had no problems what so ever. I flipped over onto my back and he examined my neck. My C1 and C2 were out of alignment; probably from an automobile accident I had years ago. He took a quick X-ray so that he could chart the progress.
He had me lie on my side and popped my hip back into place and then it was time for the neck adjustment. I’m a little leery of having my neck snapped; maybe it was from watching one too many Steven Segal movies which incidentally is one film. He made a quick motion to the left and I heard the loudest cracking sound and it was coming from me, a few more snaps on the other side and I was done. He showed me the correct way to hold my head up, shoulders back and chin down which I need to work on and told me to lie on my back and let my head hang over the side of the bed for 10 minutes a day.
I didn’t feel any immediate improvement, but I go back next week for another session and chart the progress and keep you posted.
Posted on Saturday, May 03, 2008 @ 9:29 PM by Carolyn Norris
The Shrimp Story
The shrimp story, my friend Julie cringes every time I tell it. I don’t know why, I think it’s endearing.
Julie was still in school and I had just graduated and was working in the IT department of SmithKline Beecham Laboratories in Tampa. I worked from 4pm to midnight which really put a cramp on my social activities. Being the good friend that Julie is, she organized a weekly lunch on Thursdays and we would meet at a different restaurant each week and have lunch and talk and talk and talk.
Neither one of us had much money at the time and we would furnish most of our wardrobe from thrift stores. Florida has the best thrift stores of any state in the country. So many old people move down to Florida and eventually die and their family gives away all of their cool clothes from the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. We would usually come out of the store with armfuls of cocktail dresses, cowboy boots, aprons and vintage hats.
One Thursday we hit the Salvation Army as usual before eating lunch. We sifted through piles of old clothes and shoes, made our purchases and we were off to eat. We were near the water and decided to try a seafood restaurant. I ordered a 21 piece shrimp dinner with hushpuppies and went to the restroom to wash my hands before eating. My hands were filthy from touching all of the old musty clothes and shoes and I went into a diatribe of how I like to have clean hands before eating. I noticed Julie didn’t wash her hands, but figured that’s her own choice.
Several minutes later the food came out and Julie said “that doesn’t look like 21 pieces of shrimp” and proceeded to touch every one of my shrimp as she counted them. She even moved the hushpuppies out of the way to count the shrimp hiding under them. Satisfied with her tally she reported that yes there were 21 shrimp on my plate and looked up at me and realized her faux pas. I had always sided with Goofus in the old Highlights magazine, but suddenly felt uncomfortably like Gallant. We laughed and I think I even ate my lunch, all 21 shrimp.
You’d be amazed how often the story comes up in conversation and Julie has resigned herself to the fact that I will go on telling the shrimp story for the rest of our lives.
Posted on Friday, May 02, 2008 @ 10:06 PM by Carolyn Norris