First off, congrats to the University of Chicago for winning CBI Nationals! Now, onto what you've all been waiting for...who the winner of TRASHionals are! First off, our Division 3 winners (for teams that finished 9th-12th in the two brackets) - the champs were I'm Blind, I'm Deaf, I Wanna Be a Ref (a.k.a. Bowling Green State University). They won a set of Dukes of Hazzard coloring books. Our Division 2 winners (teams that finished 5th-8th in the two brackets) also took home kudos for having the Best Costumes (coming as Sheriff Andy Taylor, a freedom fighter, The Phantom of the Buzzer, and the doorman at the Plaza :). They are none other than The, How You Say? Ah Yes! Team (from the University of Georgia). They took home a set of Mr. T coloring books. This year's TRASHionals Grand Champion came to us from the Smackdown Hotel, on the corner of Know Your Role Boulevard and Jabroni Drive. The winners of TRASHionals 99 are the Roody Poo Candy Asses (a mix of Case Western Reserve and ex-Cornell player Kenny Peskin). For their triumph, the Roody Poos took home a circa-1980's stereo system (complete with record player) and a set of children's records, including Strawberry Shortcake, Fat Albert, and Kojak. This year's runners-up were Anxious Hemmorrhoids in Curtain 2 (Michigan). They took home a four-pack of Simpsons brand pasta canned in Canada, with Bart on the cover swearing in French. Dwight Kidder (Threatening the Franchise) took home the individual scoring title, averaging around 95 points a game. He won a copy of "Our Dumb Century," the latest literary work from The Onion. Jessica Harbour (Porkchops and Applesauce) finished second, and took home a book of Star Trek blueprints. Contestants Not Appearing On Stage (Missouri) won the first-ever TRASH NFL Draft challenge, correctly selecting the draft order of five of the first 10 picks. Thanks to Brian Goldenberg and the rest of the Penn State posse for hosting the tournament and providing many donuts. Kudos to my crewmates at TRASH (Mark Coen, Greg Sorenson, Rebecca Golden, Dave Vacca, Fred Bush, Joe Wright, Phil Groce, Willie Keller) for putting up with me on the net and at PSU. Thanks to Kevin Olmstead for guest moderating. And thanks many times over for the players who competed at this year's TRASHionals!!! Two more things... 1. An announcement on question sales will be coming later this week. 2. As soon as I go through everything, I will try to post stats up on the mailing list. 3. Ignore the message about not talking about specific questions at TRASHionals. Turns out the West Coast mirror will be more of an informal tournament, so we don't have to be gung ho about secrecy. So talk away!! See you for Regionals in November!! James Dinan Business Manager, TRASH Crash Davis wrote: Date: Fri, 23 Apr 1999 09:52:06 -0400 (EDT) From: Crash Davis Subject: QB: STATS: TRASHionals Individual (or Induhvidual?) Reply-to: Crash Davis A copy of the individual stats came into my possesion on Sunday, so here's what I have. These numbers are only for the preliminary rounds, although apparently only 10 rounds of individual stats were entered for the Mike Keenan Employemnt Agency and PENNetrators. Anyway, here are the stats Player Team TU/Neg PPG Dwight Kidder Threatning Franchise 108/8 94.5 Applesauce Porkchops & Applesauce 72/6 62.7 Walter Johnson Old Pitchers Never Die 63/10 52.7 Janine Boy Georgetown 60/5 52.3 Haggai Anxious Hemmorhoids 56/9 51.5 Mike Kennan Mike Kennan Emp. Agency 57/12(10)51.0 Mike Baby on Board 57/2(11)50.9 Kenny Roody Poo Candy Asses 60/16 47.3 Hot beef Injection PENNetrators 4 3/8 39.0 Scott Contestants Not Appearing 49/14 38.2 Demi Moore I Do Believe We're Naked 44/10 35.5 Matt Shegos Blind, Deaf Refs 43/8 35.5 Ceasar Kerry Collins School 43/9 35.0 Bret What the Judge Dragged in 40/5 34.1 The Nick How You Say, Ah Yes 48/23 33.2 Lalaen Die Tellentubben 38/9 30.5 CC What the Judge Dragged in 37/7 30.5 Alex The Big Chill 37/8 30.0 Matt Kerry Collins School 35/4 30.0 Hoppity Suicidal Bunny Rabbits 34/4 29.1 Eric The Big Chill 33/3 28.6 Lady Godiva I Do Believe We're Naked 33/3 28.6 Lefty Grove Old Pitchers Never Die 30/3 25.9 Ryan Roody Poo Candy Asses 29/5 24.1 Jay The Big Chill 30/8 23.6 T-Bird Yellow Jacket Club 30/8 23.6 Judge Rheinhold Justice Leauge of America 31/11 23.2 Captain Eo Fighting Loraxes 33/18 21.8 No Neck Joe Open Mouth, Close Eyes 27/6 21.8 Jordan Knight's Love Slave Boy Georgetown 25/4 20.9 Anthony Roody Poo Candy Asses 26/7 20.5 Jm J. Bullock Die Tellentubben 26/8 20.0 Joe Mike Kennan Empl. Agency 20/1 19.5 McBain Sending Our Love 23/4 19.1 Tim Anxious Hemmorhoids 21/4(10) 19.0 Chucklebutt Open Mouth, Close Eyes 21/2 18.2 Bishop PENNetrators 19/2 18.0 Dr. Stupid Hollywood Med. College 22/5 17.7 Andy Taylor How You Say, Ah Yes 23/7 17.7 Anne Mike Kennan Empl. Agency 20/5 17.5 Hot Hot Cock PENNetrators 20/5 17.5 Jen Baby on Board 22/6 17.3 Eugenia Williams Blind Deaf Refs 22/7 16.8 Scott Kerry Collins School 19/5 15.0 Sting Sending Our Love 19/6 14.54 Mad Dog Yellow Jacket Club 19/6 14.54 Eric Contestants Not Appearing 19/9(10)14.50 Rob Mike Kennan Empl. Agency 15/2 14.0 Sideshow Mel Sending Our Love 17/4 13.6 E.J. How You Say, Ah Yes 18/7 13.2 Night Train Yellow Jacket Club 16/3 13.2 Cornholio Fighting Loraxes 16/4 12.7 Pork Chops Pork Chops and Applesauce 15/2 12.7 Katrina Contestants Not Appearing 11/2(8)12.5 Potato Judge Justice Leauge of America 15/3 12.3 Doc Brown Hollywood Medical College 13/2 10.9 Lucky Bob Open Mouth, Close Eyes 11/0 10.0 Krusty Sending Our Love 11/0 10.0 Dipsen Die Tellentubben 13/5 9.5 Flopsy Suicidal Bunny Rabbits 11/1 9.5 Clown of Death Boy Georgetown 11/2 9.1 Judge Judy What the Judge Dragged in 13/6 9.1 Derwood Merril Blind, Deaf Refs 10/2 8.2 Bugs Suicidal Bunny Rabbits 10/2 8.2 John Anxious Hemmorhoids 12/10(9)7.8 Dave Fighting Loraxes 9/1 7.7 Quivering Member PENNetrators 11/7 7.5 Dr. Gonzo Hollywood Medical College 10/4 7.3 Gypsy Rose Lee I Do Believe We're Naked 8/0 7.3 Cy Young Old Pitchers Never Die 8/1 6.8 Toby Roody Poo Candy Asses 8/1 6.8 Lyn Baby on Board 7/0 6.4 Mientkwicz Boy Georgetown 7/0 6.4 Adam Kerry Collins School 3/0(5) 6.0 Dizzy Dean Old Pitchers Never Die 8/3 5.9 Vorlon Open Mouth, Close Eyes 7/1 5.9 Erik How You Say, Ah Yes 7/1 5.9 Hole The Big Chill 7/2 5.5 Dr. Marlena Hollywood Medical College 6/0 5.5 Devin Contestants Not Appearing 4/1(7) 5.0 Judge Dredd Justice Leauge of America 10/9 5.0 Venus de Milo I Do Believe We're Naked 5/0 4.5 Harvey Suicidal Bunny Rabbits 6/2 4.5 Po Die Tellentubben 5/1 4.1 Rikki What the Judge Dragged in 5/1 4.1 Harry Tuttle Kerry Collins School 2/0(5) 4.0 Gryfen Fighting Loraxes 6/4 3.6 Phil Luckett Blind, Deaf Refs 4/1 3.2 Emily Contestants Not Appearing 3/1(8) 3.1 Mike Anxious Hemmorhoids 3/2(7) 2.9 Harold T. Stone Justice Leauge of America 2/2 0.9 Ripple Yellow Jacket Club 0/2 -0.9 Brent Anxious Hemmorhoids 1/3(4)-1.3 I'll leave it up to the actual teams and players to disclose their real identities, if they so desire. (That and I don't know the real names of everyone who competed :) )