When PUAs retire, they often become bloggers on the subject of human biodiversity (HBD), attempting to spread their Darwinian vision of social and sexual hierarchies. Occasionally, when they feel particularly generous, they’ll throw a bone of advice to all the “beta” males trying hard to develop game. Most of that is bullcrap though.
The script is generally the same for PUAs: Conceal yourself in mystery, act bored, be playfully disrespectful, and force her to subconsciously pursue you. While this will work on someone with low self-esteem who is easily swayed by shallow intrigue, it’s hardly the basis for being well-liked. Women will call this person “player” or “bad boy”. Other men are less complimentary, preferring “asshole” or “jerk”.
But what’s so wrong about this technique if it works? Judging by the oodles of complaints from women about being “pumped and dumped” and men (betas of course) on women being attracted to bad boys, it does seem to work. The problem is that at the end of the day, PUAs teach techniques on how to act a certain way, basically to be someone who you’re not in order to score with chicks. Keeping up the facade rapidly becomes tiring.
In my travels, I met an Australian who shared an interesting take. Why do women fall time after time for “bad boys” while professing to be interested in “nice guys”? It’s because in a woman’s mind, a “nice guy” means something different. Translated into male-speak, he is not subservient nor obsequious. He lives an interesting life, has his own interests, and doesn’t cater to her every whim, beck, or call. The Australian also developed a male ideal which he termed “good guy with edge”. This means that one should strive for balance in all things – not being the false charmer but not being a predictable and dare I say boring chum.
The key tenets of being “good” with “edge” include universally useful traits such as upbeat optimism, confidence, and enthusiasm applied to all aspects of life. Alternatively, I have boiled it down to a simple acronym: GAAP.
- Genuine: The core of every person should be solid as a rock rather than slippery like a weasel. This means being true to oneself, one’s desires, and one’s true character. If you don’t like a particular type of music, tell it straight up rather than pretending to be interested to find common ground with someone or even just to be “cool”. If you’re fine with it (and I mean actually comfortable in your skin), other people won’t think less of you. If you act embarrassed, you’re just inviting scorn.
- Ambitious: This trait means having lofty goals while striving for constant self-improvement. The first principle says it’s important to accept oneself. However, this means accepting weaknesses as well. Life should be a journey of learning and growing. You’ll be that much more attractive and successful by having solid, precise, yet attainable goals.
- Adventurous: A tangy zest for life. I interpret this as never turning down a new experience. It can start as easily as just making changes in life, going out of one’s comfort zone, and not being afraid of trying something.
- Passionate: Don’t do anything halfway. Instead, put your heart into everything you do. Being excited and enjoying one’s life makes one that much more productive. It’s a nice positive feedback loop as well since increased success is generally self-reinforcing.
Of course, changing someone’s core values, behaviour, and lifestyle is difficult. To start on the path, it’s important to change mindsets and mentalities first. Dispel notions that inhibit optimal performance and achieving goals. Don’t be afraid to be hedonistic as well. Sticking with these principles and generally shaping and developing one’s life around these core tenets will lead to a more satisfying experience in life.
So there you go. Don’t believe everything you see or hear from those HBD bloggers. This applies to a lot of other things as well ranging from political theory, stock picks, to this blog. A healthy dose of skepticism is essential to avoid being easily influenced and thus led astray.