I'm back in the US now, spending my last weekend in Boston. The China triip ended up very well. I had written an e-mail about my adventures in Shanghai; the rest of our trip was in Beijing. The day after we arrived we went on a 10km hike of the Great Wall. The location was about 4 hours outside of the city and we hiked on an old section of the wall. Some of the views were breathtaking and the hike itself was challenging. Minoti had to hold the hand of the "guides," who really just try to sell souvenirs. Beijing, as a city is more like Los Angeles- a lot of traffic. The air pollution is worse than Shanghai, but there are more tourist sites. We went to Tianneman Square, the Forbidden City, Temple of Heaven, and the Summer Palace. These were nice, historical places worth seeing, but the fun parts were just 'living' in Beijing. There is a quite a buzz about the 2008 Olympics already. I would suggest visiting China before the Olympics; I think things will really take off in terms of tourism and prices afterwards. And it's already a bit too 'touristy' anyway. Overall, it was an amazing trip. I could live in Shanghai with a bit of language training and I would definitely visit Asia over Europe.
Now I'm packing up the rest of my stuff in Boston. It has been an amazing four years here. When I walk outside the door and I can't believe I got to live in this beautiful neighborhood, with good friends right at my doorstep! Now I'm on to high-rise living in Chicago. I already know a lot of people there, so the social transition shouldn't be too bad. But working as an intern is going to be difficult. I'll probably spend a lot of time treading water to stay afloat. And I'll probably be really tired most of the time. But hopefully the year will go by quickly. I'm mostly sad about all the birthdays, weddings, and vacations I'll miss. I was looking at grandma's birthday pics and felt very sad. Too bad the schedule had to work out that way. At least everyone will be at the wedding in June, right?
Despite all that sad talk, I'm really excited to finally be a 'doctor.' I finally have a career and am no longer a student- yippee! In fact, I was just filling out fedaral and state tax forms, scary. And I'm excited to be moving forward with Ashwin. We are at a new level in our relationship. These days we talk about the future in terms of 'we.' My mom, who I now call "crazy mom," keeps saying I have a two year deadline. I told her if Ashwin and I make it the first year I'm in Chicago, then we'll probably be in for the long haul. He, unfortunately, cannot come to the wedding. He has to be the best man in a wedding on May 21 and can't get someone to cover him again. I'm going to puch a little harder, but it's not looking promising. Still, I want everyone to meet him soon! Come visit Chicago in the summer, I guarantee a good time.
... because I love being the center of attention! No surprise to you guys, I'm sure. The big 25 is just around the corner- I know I'm getting older because as I write this entry, the hair dye is slowing eliminating the whites. One of my classmates commented on my white hairs by asking if third year was very stressful for me. At that point I knew something had to be done, especially since I plan to live big this year. I also know I'm getting old because BJ is engaged! I couldn't believe it- who is this girl? She is certainly not better than any Shah girl, but is she acceptable? Well, I'm happy for him anyway. Other than planning a fabulous birthday party, I've been working on my residency application. It's a refershingly simple application- the only tough part is the personal statement and the rest is a piece of cake! I'm going to NYC this weekend, both Irene and Ami are there. Manasee, sorry I couldn't make it while you were there- I was on call every three days at that time. The following weekend I'm going to Chicago. (I know a few eyebrows are going up.) We have to take a part of the licensing exam and it is only offered in five cities in the country. The only two possibilities for me are LA and Chicago, so I chose Chicago. Ashwin and I are still in touch and I want to see him, I want to finish this exam and I want to go to a Cubs game. So I'm going to Chicago. Enough said.
hello all, i turned on my computer this morning and saw a new posting from every single shah cousin sister! what a pleasant way to wake up. sounds to me like everyone is doing very important things these days. i am, too, and my important thing is sleeping. i have less than a week of vacation left. the last few days will be devoted to mental preparation for the ICU rotation. and celebrating fiyya's birthday. i got a new star shaped muffin pan, so i'm going to whip some goodies for the special day. i'll write again when i have more significant things to report!
i am all about going to bali! tell me what i need to do and i'll get to it... as soon as i finish my medicine exam. yikes...
more importantly, i wanted to let you all know that ashwin left boston less than two hours ago. he's driving to texas, staying with his parents for about a week and then flying up to chicago to start his residency. i've spent a lot of time with him the past three weeks, since he came back from south america. his departure is no surprise, but i never though it would hurt this much. it's not just that he's leaving, but that we've decided to break things off. he's just not ready to really commit and ask me to come to chicago for him. blah, blah, blah i'm sure i've told this to you all many times. we had a nice couple of weeks- went to his senior week events, i went to his graduation with his family, we went out for some fancy dinners. today, just before he drove off, we had a late lunch at legal seafoods. that was where we had our first date, over two and a half years ago. that date was terrible. but somehow we made it back there today. if it's not obvious by this text, i'm a wreck. i told him i'd call him when i "get my studying under control." really, i just need to move on. but sometimes i just can't stand it, it's so lonely in boston now. i'll probably need to call him at some point, but hopefully i can keep it at a minimum until all these emotions blow over.
Hello All!
Preets, how was the movie?! don't feel as though your new love of Star Wars makes you a nerd- it makes you one of us! (meaning me and Angilee.) Since the theme of the entries has been movies lately, I would like to make a contribution: everyone should go see Crash ASAP (or STAT). This movie is about racial tenisions in LA and it does a fantastic job of portraying the role of race in daily life. I'm not sure if I was swayed by the movie, but its ideas seemed right on target. just reinforces why i never want to live in LA.
On another note, Ashwin is graduating this weekend. then he's off to chicago and that's the end of the story. surprisingly the expiration date on our relationship is not as troubling as i thought. of course, that could all change in one week. still, i am looking forward to broadening my experiences- namely through an australian business student, who, in the past, held a professional tennis world ranking!
That's all for now. See you all soon!
Hello Everyone,
I've been waiting for the right moment to finally to make a contribution- life as been pretty hectic lately. I'm on the last rotation of third year- internal medicine. So far things have been going swimmingly. I like it, but I can't say that I'm passionate about the field. I'm also going to do a rotation in Neurology some time soon. Hopefully I'll love that field, but if not, I guess I'll going into internal medicine.
Spring has finally arrived in Boston. I am the proud owner of a light pink courdory blazer-style jacket. Perfect for the springtime. A few degrees more and it'll be warm enough to play tennis. I have a new Australian friend, who used to be a professional tennis player down under, so hopefully he'll be excited to get out on the court.
Now down to the dirt: Ashwin will be leaving Boston shortly. It was inevitable, but now it seems like it will happen tomorrow. He's in town for eight of nine days, then he'll leave for South America for three weeks. Then back to Boston for just under three weeks, and game over. "Game over" might be more literal than I expected. For a long time we talked about breaking up to see how we really felt, and then revisit the idea of continuing our relationship on a more serious level. I took that to mean that the door would still be open, but I think it might be slammed shut. Ashwin's so uncertain of what he wants and so hestiant to try a "serious" long distance relationship. In one sense, he feels that he can't make me wait so we have to break up. But I still know that he's not 100% sure that we should end this. All I can do is consider what he's telling me- we'll break up and I will go on with my life.
At first, I tried to fight his sentiment. But now I'm tired. Slowly, a more honest perception of our relationship is evolving in my head. It's was, and still is, in a lot of ways perfect. The relationship was flawed in many ways, too, that I don't want to describe. I'm probably hesitant to discuss because I feel embarassed and sad that I didn't demand more mush earlier in the relationship.
I decided not to end the relationship before he leaves Boston. I really thought about this decision. If I try to end it now, and then slip by calling, or crying or sleeping over at his place, I 'll feel terrbile. For me, it's more realistic to just try to take care of myself without setting "rules" about our interaction. And there is still a little piece of me that thinks we could discover something that's been hidden over the last week. I'm not going to ignore that completely- I think I can still move forward anyway.
At this moment I feel incredibly lonely. For two nights I've been trying to spend one or two hours going out with friends. But I couldn't get a hold of anyone. Do people stay in on weeknights? I seem to have forgotten. Despite all my feelings, I'm trying to remind myself that the emotions pass.
Gotta go, thanks for listening.
Hello Cousin-Sisters,
I'm sure you were all anxiously awaiting my return to the Shah-Shank Redemption and the rest of the world. Wait no more, I am making an early entrance- tomorrow is my surgery exam, but I am here today. The last three months have been long, tiring and mostly unfulfilling. Today I had my oral examination- I drowned during the second half. Ripped to shreds. Still, must move on. The exciting world of psychiatry awaits me in January.
Sonia is getting a cat, huh? Odin sounds like a very literary name- no surprise there. What is everyone else doing these days? I'm going home on Monday, then back to Boston, then back to LA the second weekend of January. Ashwin will be in LA on onterviews, so I thought I'd pop in and introduce him to the family. (And to claim my gifts from India.) Why not, right? We've been together for a year, although I doubt we'll be together for another year. He'll leave for his residency, and I can't last in a long distance relationship.
Alright, gotta go. Thanks for the stress relief guys- I love reading the postings, they make me laugh.
Hello Cousin-Sisters,
I have one more week of pediatrics left and then onto my surgery rotation! Now that I'm finished with the inpatient pediatric service, I've had a lot more free time. For me, this is not a good thing. Any time I have 30 or more minutes of free time, I think myself into a tizzy. I've managed to dedicate some time to mentally preparing myself for surgery. As long as I have a lot of responsibility I will probably enjoy it. But if I find myself in the corner of the OR, not scrubbed into the procedure (because the 4th year, intern, resident and fellow get first dibs), I'll be miserbale and come home crying every day.
Pediatrics is moving up on my list. Adult medicine could be unsatisfying because I'd deal with 50 year old men who won't manage their diabetes and refuse to exercise. One resident referred to the field as 'maintaining a poor quality of life.' I could even specialize within pediatrics. Gastrenerology has caught my attention recently, probably because that service is very busy at our hospital, NEMC. Cardiology is also interesting, but I've never been very good at that.
I read The Namesake recently. I higly recommend it, very applicable to our lives and well written. The author speeds through time in the novel and doesn't spend too much text on any one event. Just my style. Now I'm reading Complications, a book by a surgeon about the practice of medicine. It's a good read, but I'm not entirely impressed. If you have any good recommendations, send them my way, please!
Not much else to report. Ami visited me last weekend, that was fun. The weather is slowing heading downhill. The Red Sox seemed to be on an upswing, but are currently down 0-9 to the Yankees in the fourth inning. Alright, hope to see you all soon!
hi guys! thank you all for calling me on my birthday! i think i had a record number of called and cards this year- it really pays to send everyone a reminder via evite! life in pediatrics is good- 10x better than OB/GYN. that's mostly because of the environment, i think. at this point, i would strongly consider a career in peds. i'm going out with all my friends for my bday tonight. on tuesday, ashwin made dinner for me. we've been a little tenuous lately, but it was very sweet, especially since he's been stressed about step 2 of the boards. for him, that's a big deal because he doesn't stress lik this too often. still up in the air about the future. some things will have to improve, but i think we're in a transition now since i started rotations. and honestly, i don't have the energy to make a discussion out of it anymore. ami is coming to visit me in september! the weekend after labor day. i'm very excited because i rarely get out of town guests. all of you are welcome to join, also. alright, guess that's it for now! love r
hi everyone,
sorry about my absence. i took the boards, went to puerto rico, and delivered a few babies. the labor and delivery schedule is rough- i'm on call for 24 hours, every three days. and we don't really sleep during call. but that's only for three weeks. i'm glad i'm getting this rotation out of the way first. the hours are rough and a few of the nurses are bitches and the residents are mediocre teachers. as you may have heard, i passed the boards- didn't do as well as sonia. mom pointed that out nicely- when i told my score, she said, 'what did sonia get?' of course, i paled in comparison. but honestly, i just can't get myself to care enough to do so amazingly well. i'm starting the think of this as just a career- i don't have the tenacity i used to have when i was younger. that may just be becuase i was so sick of class work and multiple choice, plus this first rotation is rough. i think there's still hope for my enthusiasm to return- let's hope that's the case.
how's everyone else? preeti, ready for nicaragua? angilee, what is the freelance article? third year is going to be rough, so i apologize ahead of time for falling out of touch.
alright, that's all for now.
love r
less than two weeks... must study hard... must stay motivated...
so after all these years i finally have a real life, semi-serious boyfriend. but i think something's creeping up on me- boredom. maybe that's inevitable. maybe i'm just not ready to settle into one of those routines, in which there's no excitement or anticipation because you know exactly what to expect when you wake up in the morning. or maybe i'm just studying so much that just about everything seems dull right now... except puerto rico in in mid-june!!
hello all (or angilee and preeti, frequenters of this site),
still busy studying for the boards. two weeks from today, and i am psyched to finish. then angilee is coming to visit, yippee! if you all haven't heard, i will be heading to puerto rico for the thirdy week of june. some solid R&R, good weather, and a deep tan so i can look like a south indian. i heard about the wedding, very ostentatious. word travels fast in the shah family. does anyone want to come to NYC the weekend of june 18? there are always cheap fares and you can spend time with me, angilee, and whatever other bostonians decide to jump onto the chinatown bus with us. (i'm hoping aswhin comes b/c i desperately want family memebrs to meet him.) i guess that's about all for now. peace.
Hello Cousin-Sisters,
Sorry about my absence from the website for the last few weeks- I'm sure I was missed dearly. I am currently in Angilee's apartment, enjoying the graduation festivities. All her little friends just showed up, only one Grace and no Jennifer among them, surprisingly. Has been a low key weekend. Not much studying, but I'll do that when I'm back in Boston. As for my vacation, I'll be going to DC the weekend of June 18. Ang will be there, too, for some conference about journalsim jobs. Preeti, would you like to join us? Then I'm off to Puerto Rico for about five days. I was really dragging my feet about planning a trip, but Ashwin talked some sense into me- I will rarely have vacations from this point, so I just gotta commit. I'm going with a friend (also named Preeti). Anyway, that's all from my end. Talk to you all soon!
preeti- glad you've recovered. hopefully no fiascos will happen when you head out to nicaragua!
angilee- have fun! eat, drink and be merry. any word on the post grad era?
with all the studying i do, you'd think i'd be able to understand this website. where is the contact page? who are the 6 authors on the entry? and more importantly, why the hell did the lakers lose last night? anyway, 5 weeks to the boards. i may move my date back to june 14. it is a sign of panic, i admit. but i've discussed with my trusty med school advisor, irene. i get one chance to move the date and i must move it before the three week mark. hopefully this will not happen, but if i must... ashwin would like to join in the fun of this website, but i don't think he fits in the '5 sisters' categories. we actually talked about the future recently (ie when he goes away for residency and when i have to decide the same.) yikes! tried to avoid the whole topic. i really don't want to start thinking about that right now- must focus on the task at hand! by the way, he's a big dork and i really like him, i wish you could all meet him. does anyone want to come to boston in june and then take a trip up to montreal with me?
must take reproductive pathology and pathophisology exams. failed last GI pathology exam- not the lowest grade in the class, but pretty damn close. 35%. all time low. but i'm learning so much and my time in the library is very fulfilling. (one must see the glass half full.)
in other news, still dating the chubby guy from texas. (oh wait, i'm the chubby one now.) odd state of affairs, really. relationship is stable and happy, but it feels weird to have a 'significant other.' but i'm just going along with it for now. nothing drastic until the post-board exam era.
must finish my last minute cramming. you'd be surprised how much you can squeeze in the immediate pre-exam era.