{*} Fri Apr 04 02:52 (Kevan) Eliminates Books:

• No weight - no problems

  Houston, everything's fine.

• You won't believe this greeting!

  It's actually quite a bad morning.

• Eliminates books and education process call now

  To have your city sacked by barbarians.

• Watch your instrument lengthen by the week

  Track the passage of time with our special week-measuring device.

• Fill your bedroom with fire once and for all!

  Burn it! Burn it to the ground!

• Yours Today - Tickets to See Ellen Live

  Using an online ticketing service proved to be the kidnappers' downfall.

• Troy has anniversary party tomorrow, please don't forget

  Bring own horse.

• Large European company is looking for Us employees.

  I think I lost it in the industrial park, but... Wait, there it is! It's seen us! Run!

• We can get you a refinance nance quote in under 2mins fake

  Hey, I heard that.

{*} Wed Feb 20 04:39 (Leonard) The Gang Of Four (Billion):

Facade, Proxy, and Factory

Yes, the most important design patterns for spammers.

{*} Sat Feb 16 14:00 (Leonard) Return of the Son of Inappropriate Suffix Words:

New job! hecatomb

Sounds great! When can I start?

{*} Fri Jan 25 07:20 (Kevan) This Is Your Thingy:

• Earth-breaking medical discovery for you!

  Results of the test contaminations are right here, Professor Nemesis.

• The bull is back

  Tell him we're closed.

• Isn't strong and powerful full-size dic'k your dream?

  No, you must have someone else's case notes there, Doctor Jung.

• lucky man, be careful!

  You know, I find that I just don't need to be.

• Be a part of our team. Make no investments and great salary.

  I see what you did with that "no" clause.

• Energy sector is hot right now

  Divert all power from shields!

• Super-sized one-eyed monster will live in your pants in New Year!

  Argh!

• Make all them cry for mercy and forget about you problems

  Thanks, I'll try that.

• Your child is the Star In a full length 3D Christmas cartoon adventure.

  Please find enclosed lawsuit for home-video copyright infringement.

• Appetite control for hours on end

  Eat our trademarked "breakfast" product, and we guarantee that you won't feel hungry again until lunchtime.

• No doctor appointment is necessary

  That's a relief. Thanks, spam.

• Watch 1,056 Live TV Channels on your PC

  Let me just tape your eyelids back.

• This is your thingy.....this is your thingy on meds. Any questions?

  Are you sure you're the pharmacology lecturer, sir?

{*} Tue Dec 18 04:19 (Kevan) On Worm Web:

• Make money at home right now!

  But I'm at work!

• Looking for happy relationship, Dear?

  Don't be silly, darling.

• Don't worry about your equipment any more.

  I was on third watch and a rust monster ate it all. Sorry.

• Hey, start seeing dollars pouring in.

  Drink this.

• what children

  The ones I was paying you to babysit?

• You'll easily counter with your

  Instant-speed email deletion spell!

• Unwanted Pounds could be easily burnt off!

  Yes, they could, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea.

• try bank apple, on worm web

  I'm not sure that metaphor really works.

• Do you want a prosperous future? GET YOUR UNIVERSITY DIPLOMA!

  Okay, dad, okay.

{*} Fri Dec 14 06:26 (Leonard) Tales That Will Chill You:

Announcing the FIRST-EVER TALKING Thomas Kinkade collectible Story House! LISTEN as Thomas Kinkade reads aloud the beloved holiday poem, "The Night Before Christmas"! Watch as each impeccably sculpted room LIGHTS UP in turn as the classic story unfolds. Experience anew the delight of Christmas through Thomas Kinkade's gentle voice and his charming Victorian holiday artistry.

The voice is coming from inside the house!

{*} Fri Dec 07 08:34 (Sumana) What is it with George Soros?: Why does so much of that random text in these messages have to do with financier and liberal George Soros? Also, who's the rather gifted copywriter whose scanning, rhyming verse on manhood enhancement landed in my spambox?

• fate casio

  The plastic watch of inevitability! The synth of destiny!

• To: selldisposablegriffin@crummy.com

  Talk about the right of first sale.

• 200 doctors were hunted down to keep our prices low

  And to keep the supply of doctors low.

• Alton says these are fabulous

  But it's a unitasker!

• plea sure

  SNL's Jeopardy! parodies for kids have Sean Connery saying this.

• Adore completely new evenings with our new proposal

  The night of Aprember 45th shall be ours!

• Tired of paying twice the price of a med when buying it from a "reliable" licensed USA Web pharmacy?

  Reliability is not very extr3me. Live on the edge! When purchasing Lipitor.

• Subject: resolution
  hi, how be fine

  And happy new year to you as well!