The last straw

Hi Stephen,

Lately Linda has been rearranging my belongings in the bathroom. The last time she did this, I left a note and she stopped. This time I left a note, but instead she signed the note as if it was from her and slipped it under my door. I wrote a new note and she again signed it as if it was from her and taped it to my door. This needs to stop, and I hope you can convince her to leave my possessions where they are.

Thank you,

-liz

The response

Hi Liz,

No one wants their belongings moved. But what happened is if one's belonging is trapping standing water for bacteria to build up, so close to the faucet hindering other's usage... What I mean is Linda function as a housekeeper and at times re-arrange people's stuff for the greater good for everyone. No one appreciate her effort (like disposing unsanitary, forgotten, rotten food in fridge). As long as you only occupy your area of the sink, out of the way for other to use and keep your area clean, I'll instruct Linda according to your instruction. If you can't comply and want no one touch your bathroom stuff, then you'll either have to like others have your stuff store underneath the sink or in your own room.

Stephen

The real issues

Hi Stephen,

I would like to first thank you for discussing my concerns with Linda in a prompt manner. However, I would also like to address some of the issues you raised in your reply.

"Trapping standing water" is a rather feeble excuse for having moved my belongings; had you actually examined their position before and after their move you would see that the latter position was marginally less applicable to the solution, and with the addition of the unsightly torn bit of cloth, much more likely to attract bacteria. In case you were not already aware of this, standing water on tile, ceramic or any other non-reactive surface is far less likely to harbor dangerous pathogens than a damp rag. Moreover, moping up the water will not stop water from collecting there. The source of this contamination is obvious: the faucet leaks. As a landlord it is your responsibility, and as a homeowner is it also in your best interest to fix this, and the myriad of additional problems--plumbing and otherwise--in this house.

As for Linda's duties, occasionally identifying forgotten food can hardly be described as "housekeeping". It is difficult to appreciate Linda's "efforts" when far worse threats to our health go unattended for months at a time. I am referring, of course, to the decades of accumulated grime adorning the bathroom and kitchen floors (one square of which I cleaned in order to demonstrate the difference), the greasy buildup above the stove, and the prime bacteria breeding ground that is the perpetually soaking sponges in the kitchen ... just to name a few. In fact, I would be very interested to know an inspector's opinion of this residence (as is legally required in all tenements).

I would normally be happy to share in housekeeping duties, but as I do not feel welcome in any room but my own, I feel no obligation whatsoever to maintain any of the "shared" spaces I merely visit. An excellent example of my unwelcome is your suggestion that I keep my toiletries in my own room and carry them with me to the bathroom as I would in a hotel (but then, hotels are not as filthy as this). My contribution to this household is primarily monetary, whereas yours and Linda's should be proprietary; I would expect more responsive leadership, but I am repeatedly disappointed.

Please understand that this issue of belongings, though still important to me, is merely the culmination and manifestation of a very long list of irritations and concerns I have had to endure throughout my tenancy. Moreover, I must disabuse you of any naive notion you may have that I stand alone in my displeasure; I am merely the first to reach a level of aggravation warranting action. And please also understand that I am ready to take further actions should that unhappy situation arrive.

Very sincerely,

-Liz

The rebuttal

Note: At this point Stephen printed both our letters and distributed them to the rest of the housemates. The response was not in email form, I was required to type it myself. The letter was copied exactly as written.

Hi Liz,

Thank you for your letter. I have read your letter in detail and have following responses:

1. After reviewing my initial note, I find my note accusatory and lack cooperating spirit. For example is incorrect for me to hint, "Trapping standing water causes bacteria to buildup..." I retract and am sorry for that remark. What I want to say is sink counter has such small space and people at times will unintentionally move other's belongings, to me that is unavoidable. I suggest if one has strong feeling then storage underneath sink or inside own room may be a solution. If that is construe as unwelcome, then is surely not my intention. I thought is a fairly straightforward request and instead receive a much serious accusatory letter from you. you are right; this is culmination.

2. The letter consists of three accusations: 1. The place is filthy (since I never receive any fomal request, I cannot be accuse of non-responsive). 2. You are very unhappy and felt unwelcome , disgruntle (this is a state of mind and if you continue to focus on negatives, what can I do). 3. Threaten more actions if you feel unhappy again (nobody enjoy threats from anyone). If you are in my position, what action do you suggest?

3. Unlike a studio or apartment, housemate here is renting a private room in owner's house. This type of living arrangement (dormatory, boarding house) is not for everyone but people move in/out with greater ease. Every house has its rules. Our stand is housemate has her control and privacy in her own room. Outside, share areas owners has the control. Housemate can use but can't dictate share area policy. We will not deviate from such stand. Some housemates, after weighing the pros and cons have stayed here for years. They have shown us considerable cooperation and we will always appreciate that. We strive to maintain balance and mutual respect with our housemates.

4. I understand outside rental market is softening, lot of for rent signs. I also know that you as housemate have qualities I value. Whether you'll focus on the positive and cooperate with owner to make our house a better place to live. The decision is yours.

Stephen

The reconsiliation

Hi Stephen,

I have reviewed your letter and I understand the situation a little better. I assumed you were aware of the many problems with your house and chose not to address them in order to save money. I expected you to "respond" to problems in the house before roommates had to tell you about them. An example would be a lightbulb goes out and you respond by replacing it before anyone has to tell you, which you have done in the past, but I also expected you to know when faucets were leaking and toilets were broken. Having grown up in a house where my mother fixed everything, I assumed these things were second nature to all homeowners, but my assumptions were wrong and offensive, for which I apologise.

I thought about your forth comment and have decided I want to cooperate in order to make this a better place. I have outlined a list of things that will not only improve the living environment, but also increase the value of the house.

-The hardware in the toilets should be replaced when they start leaking. You can tell a leak because you will hear a trickle of water after the flush is done, and then the water turns on again for a short time, repeatedly. The toilet bowl cakes you add to keep the toilet clean are actually causing the plumbing to corrode so it will need to be replaced more frequently. They sell a version of toilet bowl cleaner that connects to the water spout directly that will not cause your hardware to corrode; it's more expensive, but in the long run you save because you don't have to replace the hardware as often and it also saves water.

-The fans in the bathrooms, particularly the upstairs bathroom, should be fixed. That way you can control the moisture in the bathroom without leaving the window open all the time. We live in foggy SF where there is a lot of moisture in the air outside so leaving the window open is not helping to dry the bathroom (or the kitchen).

-Going along with that, the paint in the upstairs bathroom is peeling, as is the wallpaper. I can actually see exposed drywall and wet drywall is a huge disaster. I recommend removing the wallpaper and painting over everything with a high quality primer and then a good oil-based water-resistant paint that will last a long time and keep the drywall protected.

-The bathroom floor has a thick coating of very stubborn dirt. It should be scrubbed thoroughly. I recommend any all-purpose cleaner and a good scrub brush. Also the shower has consideral lime buildup. Any anti-lime cleaner will work and again a good scrub brush.

-There is one spot in the shower that was fixed with masking tape and electrical tape. This is not a good solution. The hole should be filled in with grout instead.

-Also the shower doors are misaligned. This is probably because the house has settled and gradually caused a misalignment of the walls. The problem with this is that this allows water to seep out through these cracks and damage the floor below. (I always remove the toothbushes in the doors to prevent further water seepage, but I'm not sure all the housemates know to do this.) The reason the floor is slightly curved upwards near the corners of the shower is because the floorboards underneath are rotting and expanding. Having sponges there to soak up the water is not a good solution either because they will hold the water there and cause it to rot faster. In order to fix the alignment of the shower doors, they should be removed and realigned using shims (plastic not wood) then resealed in place. To do this, you'll need a level, which is an inexpensive and extremely useful tool.

-All the windows should be sealed around the edges to prevent cold air from getting in and driving up heating costs, and prevent moisture damage inside. Also, it would be nice to have screens on the windows to keep all the bugs out.

-The carpet is old and worn and buckling in places (my room, where it is also faded). It should really be replaced, but a cheaper solution is to have it restretched. This will eliminate the buckling, which is a tripping hazard. Also, vacuuming the carpets more often will not only keep them cleaner and dirt down, it will also keep them fluffier and help them last longer.

-If you choose to replace the carpets you should probably have a look at the floorboards as well because I can feel that they are uneven (bowing in the middle) and the creaking and pounding you hear when roommates walk across the floor or down the stairs is indicative of worn out floorboards. They would be fairly easy to replace once the carpets are up and it would be quieter for all the housemates if they come home late at night.

-The kitchen floor is a big and potentially costly problem, but if you don't deal with it, it could be a much bigger problem in the future. The lanolium is cracked as you know, but masking tape is not a viable option; it is neither strong enough endure six people walking on it all day, nor waterproof, which is a bigger problem. I suspect that there is probably damage to the subfloor by now. There is no quick fix I can recommend for the kitchen at this point. What should really happen--and I know this is a huge hassle--is to tear up all the lanolium, and completely replace the subfloor. Then make sure you put down a waterproof barrier before replacing the top of the floor. Tile and hardwood are much more durable options, but they also cost more. In my parents house, my mother and I put down a (moderately priced) joint-locking floating floor that was fairly easy to install and sealed all around with wax so it guarantees a watertight seal that can't be compromised by changing temperatures.

-Also in the kitchen, there is considerable grease buildup above the stove, which is a huge fire hazard. The grease-soaked paper on the fan should be removed and discarded. The filter should be removed, given a thorough cleaning and replaced. I recommend soaking it in very soapy water for minimum effort, but it will probably need a scrubbing at the end to get any residual grease. The cloth/paper part of the filter should simply be replaced.

-Though I have not seen the roof, I do not know what condition it is in, but rooves should be replaced periodically too as they are so important in preventing damage to the house itself. That is something that should be assessed by a professional, however.

I hope you find this list helpful. As I have done many of these home improvement projects in the past, I would be happy to assist you, and I'm sure so would the other housemates as well. I may even be able to call on the expertise of my mom.

-Liz

The result

The stickers and papers above and behind the stove were removed, Stephen could be heard vaccuuming the stairs that day, and the toothbrushes were removed from the shower. Also I was offered a small and very dirty throw rug to hide my vast expanse of fading and buckling carpeting. To the best of my knowledge, this is the extent of my suggestions that were followed.

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