2019-2022
please Be subtle, sis
going mCherry picking
growing my cells in libra pondo medium tn
for proper maintenance, remember to routinely shine all your dalgarnos
for proper maintenance, remember to degrease your polymerase chain
finally upgraded the centrifuge to 5g functionality
using an EpiPen to write acetylation marks on histones in the PNMT promoter
confusion matrix? why yes, very
pan-masala-genomic analysis
solar eCLIP
Stop the presses; biology is broken!
Update: still broken
you’d think synthesizing a two domain (1, 2) peptide fusion wouldn’t take so long
no shoes, no shirt, no polarity
now accepting grant applications for the inaugural ‘conspiracy experimentalists’ research program
petitioning all graduate programs to include latin in mandatory coursework
this is more of a comment than a croissant
Looking at DAPI stained neurons really blue my mind!
mapping of evolutionary forces circa 1997-2014
translocon: take me to your leader peptide
looking to hire a postdoc to quantify reverse transcriptase activity in real-time at room temperature; please RT!
please leave a messenger RNA after the tone
seemingly a better definition
made a new friend
nanodrop just hit me with a “that’s numberwang!”
following the heritability of some of my favorite nucleotide substitutions by tracking the SNP 500 index
dialectic constant (κ):
ratio of the permittivity of a substantive thought, ε(ω), to the permittivity of free speech, ε0.
changing things up today and doing calculations on the front of the envelope
‘On the Improvement in RNA Extractions as an Artifact of Wearing Masks in Lab’
A dissertation submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy
doctor doofenshmirtz presents…
i am just a:
[ ] man
[ ] woman
[x] illumina machine
seq-ing:
[ ] men
[ ] women
[x] RNA
investing in the highly volatile glycerol stock market this year
a turnover rate in this first quarter rivaling that of bacterial mRNAs
e. coli be like “i know a spot” and then regulate carbohydrate metabolism
RBP binding site, but make it fancy
do you think your polymerase is cheating on you? click here to learn about a simple assay for measuring its infidelity
thinking now of the shock to my system upon finding out as an undergrad that the Res. in NAR’s abbreviation did NOT stand for Residues
When you’re convinced everyone across the globe reading your interview in Nature News will appreciate your cricket analogy
can’t begin to imagine the pain associated with the damaged self-esteem of the Weak Force after nearly a century of bullying by physicists
please don’t send information about your National Science Foundation Workshop to my work email, the subject matter is clearly NSFW
squarespace presents: Transposons, “optimized for mobile right out of the box”
introducing Hide-n-Seq: high-throughput analysis of hidden in vitro interactions using massively parallel sequencing
the movement is in our DNA
pseudomonas implies the existence of a real monas
tfw you REALLY did not want to be a protein
My advisor when I’m worried about studying two proteins that localize in different organelles: “Oh, don’t FRET about it!”
telomerase [running around in the playground]: “TTAGGG you’re it!”
Where in the World Is the Virion?
the β sliding clamp is the most relatable protein ever
please sign this petition to require publication of all central nervous system discoveries exclusively in CNS
a Lineweaver-Burk plot can help you distinguish your Specific Aims from Nonspecific and Unspecific ones
a sourdough starter named Yeast Two-“Hi, bread!”
nature reviews drug discovery? oh, i sure hope she does
Most of the transcripts from my HAHA gene are modified with a 5-10 nt tail by the poly-A polymerase prior to export to group chats
Been thinking of kb24 whilst gel excising a 2.4 kb band this morn’…
i have FINALLY stumbled upon my ‘yfg’
The word on the street is that this protein domain is great for degreasing, rust removal, and general moisture displacement
Currently attempting to identify the advisor who seemingly had complete trust in their grad student creating an appropriate 4 letter abbreviation for the E. coli gene encoding a fuculokinase
Such reluctance towards the use of latin abbreviations suggests that this British journal has not forgotten about the Anglo-French War o’ 1778
The sucrose gradient this afternoon lacked texture and was a wee bit too sweet for my liking. Three stars.
I, too, have been asking biology this question for quite a while now but she has yet to answer…
Looking forward to Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper giving this seminar on campus in a few weeks
Be sure to send your upcoming sequencing sample preparations to the neighborhood Peet’s Coffee to mitigate any batch effects
Turns out the benefits of net neutrality aren’t just limited to the realm of public policy
A gentle reminder: please do NOT feed peanuts to ducks
It’s 2019, please use the gender-neutral Their-tag instead for your protein purifications
Don’t shoot the messenger RNA
Inspired by Mario Savio, many ADP molecules have put their bodies upon the gears of the ATP synthase but have yet to prevent the machine from running…
The specific binding to the machine by such anti-bodies has therefore been colloquially referred to as “PAGE Against The Machine”
Perhaps consider opening with the closing remarks
Type A personality traits are conferred by a ribosome-dependent GTPase
from J.K., to Robert Galbraith, to Laurence Cromer
Why, yes, I definitely could always do with a hint for understanding your thermodynamic framework
Hopefully they can pass on this knowledge to the rest of my brain
‘On the Parallels in Temporal Bunching Dynamics between Sneezes and Buses’
A dissertation submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy
“Space is limited” is perhaps not the best tag for encouraging people to register for your astronomy outreach event
New tools to ascertain the heterogeneity of your program’s graduate student population
For when you need to run a gel in France
Me: Hey, how’re you doing?
Hey: Just… just been busy runnin’ around maintaining cell identity
This little RNA forgot to plan an itinerary
Siakam seems to have taught his teammates enough about binomial coefficients for them to efficiently employ Pascal’s Triangle defense
Captain America (a statistical physicist): Ensembles assemble!
Manfred Mann delves into biology
Dementor (noun.) /dɪˈmɛntə/: a decent mentor
The spring constant for getting Hooke’d on a TV show is a function of the plot’s rigidity
Where does this cafe rank on the Mohs scale?
The technical term for a bunch of French people playing a fusion of punk rock and heavy metal is Lagrunge multiplayer
Marie Curieous
A patiala peg describes the ideal amount of macromolecular crowding agent to add
Treplicate (noun.) [trep·li·cate, /ˈtrepləkət/]: three replicates.
Discrimination on the basis of post-decimal-point number pronunciation is more significant an issue than the significance those digits could ever impart
2018
6.022×10²³ molecules of RNA is a GUACmole
At this rate of climate change, would not be that surprising to actually see Arctic Monkeys
Proteins that go to raves are known to often interact with Mdm2
Today I found out that a logarithmic cereal dilution is a terrible way of determining the optimal amount of milk to add
Phenomena in biology that we’re still in the “dark” about are hypothesized to be mediated by Weakly Interacting Multi-Protein (WIMP) complexes.
The true test of character of the modern geneticist is remaining unfazed when faced with unphased genomic data
Can a grade A procrastinator get A grades?
If I were 50% as smart as I currently am, I’d be 50% smarter and would hopefully, then, be able to write proper maths statements
He was named thus because his parents knew that whenever their son would start talking about Drosophila behavioral genetics, seminar crowds all around the world would beg him to “please, say more Benzer!”
In the last academic year, the one and only constant in my life has been a daily bioRxiv subject collection alert e-mail
Underlying assumption: Don McLean’s memory decays exponentially with time
Today’s guest lecture in discrete math was delivered by professor Shawn Corey Carter, PhD
Over the course of an hour long lecture, I adopt as many different configurations in my chair as the conformational ensemble of an IDP
These conversions from one chair shape to another are, indeed, best summarized by the cyclohexane ring flipping model
The rate limiting step in conversations on biochemical principles is slowly stumbling over saying, “constituitively active.”
Hope everyone voted and was constituently active this week!
Planning on curating a museum exhibit with all my experimental artifacts
A DEAD-box helicase is simply a fancy way of saying that your degraded helicase is now in a coffin
Sex determination in Drosophila is dependent upon how often they go on dates because the distinction is made on the basis of counting their exes.
Treat your students like washing machines and don’t overload them
Has anyone figured out a well functioning (awkwardness minimizing) algorithm that, given the distance between two individuals walking towards each other in a long corridor and their respective walking speeds, outputs the time at which they should look up and make eye contact?
Here’s a paralegal
Continuously belittling certain lung cancers by calling their cells “small” has clearly not been a very effective treatment strategy
Ah, yes, of course, the strain from my very first experiments back in the 17th century
Be sure to get to your class on “little water bears” on time every morning or you’ll get tardy-grades!
Call now to lease your own molecule weighing an entire 30 Da!
Do we know the genetic basis for the propensity of individuals to lie about their blood type, i.e. to exhibit the feign-O-type phenotype?
Quorum sensing in zombies! Ah!
An eject button, but for quietly removing you from a seminar upon realizing it’s not as interesting as title suggested
It’s wonderful to see Marc Maron staying “on brand” as he delves into biological inquiries
[St. Thomas’ Abbey, circa 1860]
Friar 1: What the name o’ that bloke out in the back playing with pea plants?
Friar 2: Ah, I oft forget… reckon it’s either Greg or Mendel.
An epigram as the epigraph and the epilogue epitomizes a paper on epigenetics
My R01 got funded! We’ll be looking into the origins of symmetry breaking phenomena observed whilst cooking oatmeal in a microwave. Looking for postdocs! Please RT
This just in: Scientists discover extremely tiny hippopotamuses in the wings of flies
This is the type of propaganda that nature uses its own magazine, Nature, to propagate
In his song titled ‘Black and Yellow’, Wiz Khalifa simply wanted to express his justified frustration with the Ellsberg paradox
Courtesy request to all breath taking phenomena: Please promptly return it, I… am… suffocating
Be sure to vaccinate your new laptop to prevent against any viral infections!
If you’re forced to say that your experimental methods work well “in our hands,” attach fingerprints as supplemental figures s’il vous plait.
If you’re wondering whether your UTI is going to be of significant concern, you could confirm so with a low pee value.
Surely atmospheric levels are high enough to compensate for this
If you find yourself frustrated at the inability to access the .pdf file of a published paper, it’s rarely the fault of the distribution mechanisms. i.e… “It’s not delivery, it’s the journals.”
On the other hand, no one has once called him Mr. Pepper in the last 130 years despite the obvious lack of qualifications
Given the events that transpired on the Senate floor during the confirmation of Jeff Sessions in February of 2017, it can be conclusively said that the quotient of the bending stiffness and KbT, i.e. the persistence length, is quite long for Elizabeth Warren.
Much like everyone else looking at the phenotype of a mutant allele of cryptochrome 2 in Arabidopsis, I cry2.
click here now for 10 tips to lower your Boltzmann weight
Members of the class I and class II families of histone deacetylase enzymes have never been able to fly in a commercial airplane because they’re selectively inhibited by the TSA
Word on the street is that class III, however, has TSA PreCheck
Went on an hydrochloric acid trip this past weekend
this is the real ‘War on Christmas’ that the mainstream media won’t talk about
sorry AI, but no watches for you.
Little known fact: the Ras garba, a highly energetic centuries-old Gujarati dance, was actually inspired from the energy consuming signal transduction dynamics of the small GTPase protein, Ras.
That’s not a very nice thing to say about your elders
Clearly not carefully enough
Here’s my favorite ManU-script on the arXiv:
Submitted: 20th September, 2009
Abstract: Rooney 2’ Barry 16’ Fletcher 49’ Bellamy 52’ Fletcher 80’ Bellamy 90’ Owen 90+6’
You can get a five year Ph.D. if you work on these two domains simultaneously
ZBTB ZBTB pum paara
ZBTB param pum
ZBTB ZBTB
Naache kyun paagal stupid mann
*tries to scan enrichment plots of gene expression*
“That’ll be 14 dollars”
hashtag sience not scilence
*leans forward during a presentation because ten centimeters most certainly help me see better and /definitely not/ because it lets the speaker know that I don’t believe their data*
It’s wonderful that people are out there Apriling for science today
Ubiquitin-mediated protein degradation actually happens via crucifixion on tRNAs.
A-null Kapoor is an uninitialized Kapoor class object
‘Biotin C’, a moniker denoting the combination of vitamin B7 and vitamin C and sold as a supplement is an anagram for ‘bitcoin’.
*post-conference informational content withdrawals*
Surely the other Augustinian friars regarded Gregor Mendel as a trait-or
[an astronomical body that orbits planet Earth, employed as a teller]: “Yes, yes, I get that I’m currently banking. But for the last time, I’m /not/ the former Secretary-General of the United Nations.”
[about to set up a beta-galactosidase activity assay]: “it’s Miller Time!”
A good assay must ask-a good question
The “tea-test” is any statistical hypothesis test in which, under the null hypothesis, the test statistic follows a Student’s tea-distribution, i.e. the mean number of cup o’ tea consumed by a student over the course of a day.
After a new monarch is crowned, blame for most subsequent events can be placed on him/her because… a coronation does imply causation.
A rather strong start to a news article
[A smug organic chemist who had completed the synthesis of a complex molecule from its simple precursors]: “Oh, ya. No doubt ’bout it… I’ve TOTALLY synthesized that before.”
An anti-(allergy medicine) allergic medication
*raining ethanol*
an Indian mother to her son: Beta, mera cap do. Ethanol!
Doctors who store X-ray radiographs in cabinets quite literally have skeletons in the closet
It turns out that many people have been wrongly convinced that ‘in the end, it doesn’t even matter’.
here are two cell lines with interesting genotypes
Cascara: MIT or am I coffee?
this snake, however, is in the opposite helical conformation
2017
If you’re investigating the telomeric repeat-containing RNA and decide to graph your data, would the FBI arrest you for these TERRA plots?
sadly, also true at larger length scales
i could do with a few white chocolate Academia nut cookies
The likelihood that someone was more inspired by Chevy Chase’s SNL performances than the average person is given by Chevychase’s inequality.
Gyms don’t make for great academic information sources because they leave most material as an exercise
How many parameters in one kilometer?
When will the diversity embodied in the pride flag be expanded to include non-visible regions of the electromagnetic spectrum?
If you’re trying to rent a textbook online that finally answers the chicken or the egg dilemma, go to chegg!
If Sir William Lawrence had been humble about his discovery of diffraction patterns for lattices, the concept wouldn’t be called Bragg’s Law
How did that bivalve mollusk kidnap the algae?
Abductin!
Dissect, for science, a brain that dissects science
-Hey, how are you?
-Huh? I do my statistical programming just like everyone else…
Berkeley Physics is truly a wonderful department
“Hey, man, I can’t open that link on my phone right now… I’ve run out of data”
-“You should’ve published it while you had it, then!”
Is Thomas Kail an Hamiltonian operator that operates on Lin Manuel Miranda’s populist-wavefunction to give the energy of the American system?
Does a plant address its embryonic shoots as ‘Buddy’ to establish a rapport suitable for their development?
If a scientific conference has an “abstract deadline,” what is the procedure for determining the actual deadline?
If the government were serious about targeting clandestine cell systems, they’d go after senescent cells.
Dickens wasn’t humble with his QM experiments; he considered all the probabilistic values of his measurements to be Great Expecation values.
You’d think that envelopes would be much cheaper given the frequency at which back-of-the-envelope calculations are done.