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B.B. Gun No. 4, 1997

Generation Spokesmodel: Mark Arm discusses his most embarrassing moments, Bob Whittaker's sweater, airplane mayhem, first date jitters and Mudhoney's upcoming album

What can the kids expect to hear when the needle rides the grooves of the next Mudhoney album?

You know Bob, I'm no good at questions like this. It's difficult to talk about your own music without sounding like a self-important ass. We haven't mixed it yet, and we haven't decided which songs we're going to use. I do know, kids, that it'll be more fun than killing your parents.

Have you ever tasted Matt Lukin's homemade lager?

Of course, I've drunk Lukin Lager and it can be damn good. Matt doesn't always brew lagers though and every batch is a little different. He grows his own hops as well as other cash crops. He's quite the gardener.

Which airline is Mudhoney's rhythm section banned from and describe the scene that got them banned?

You must be thinking of an incident which took place on a Northwest Airlines flight to London. The bewildering thing is that Matt and Dan did not get banned from the airline. In order to pass time on an intercontinental flight, they set out to get blind drunk. After the stewardess refused to serve them, Dan purchased a duty free fifth of scotch which the gave him mid-flight. Our heroes took off their shirts, and at least one of the two whipped out his little prick, severely frightening the elderly couple in front of him. I was zonked on downers several rows away, so I heard this second hand. they did get detained by the police for a half an hour who asked them things like, "Why should we let a couple of pigs like you into our country?" (answer, "I don't know.") and, "What were you doing so long in the restroom, are you on drugs?" (answer, "I don't remember going to the bathroom, but if I was in there for a long time, it's because I was taking a dump.") Amazingly, they let all of us into their lovely country and the tour was a smashing success.

You have jammed and recorded with Jimmie Dale Gilmore, Kim Salmon and Ron Asheton. Which was the most enlightening and why?

Well, I'm not sure if enlightening is the right word, although there's an ad in the latest Rocket for "an intimate evening with the Dali Lama of Country Music, Jimmie Dale Gilmore." The biggest kick, however, was hanging out in NYC with Watt, Moore, Shelley, Fleming and Ron Fuckin' Asheton. we recorded two originals and a bunch of Stooges covers including a rippin' version of Fun House (with Sabir Mateen on sax) and the obligatory lame version of I Wanna Be Your Dog. It was like going to rock 'n' roll fantasy camp. What band do you want to be in? I wanna sing for the Stooges. Williamson or Asheton? Asheton!!! there's an album of this stuff coming out. The band's name is the Wylde Ratttz (which has something to do with an upcoming movie). Fun House is the only Stooges cover on it. In fact, the only other covers we do are two Pretty Things songs, Rosalyn and L.S.D. My only regret is that they got together again last summer and I declined. We were under the impression that the Mudhoney recording was imminent and I needed to concentrate on that. It was great hanging out with Kim Salmon, too. I'm a huge Scientists fan, but his trip, at the time we got together, was too pop for my liking.

What's up with Bloodloss?

Nothing. We're on an extended vacation. Ren's in Culver City living in a halfway house. Things were getting pretty hairy. We're all very happy that Ren's getting his shit together. We recorded 16 songs with John Goodmanson, most of which sound great. there are a few things that need fixing, but we can wait until Ren's ready. It'll probably come out on In The Red within the next five years.

How did the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland get Steve Turner's big muff pedals?

They asked and we sent them some broken crap. This was a few years back when the Seattle thing was hot-hot-hot. They really wanted the original sheet lyrics for Touch Me I'm Sick, which doesn't exist. I toyed with the idea of writing one out, crumpling the page and burning the edges so it would look like a 3rd grader's pirate treasure map. I've heard the NW rock display has been taken down, so our broken pedals are hanging out in Cleveland for no good reason.

Which movie role do you prefer your acting and rocking in.... Hype! or Black Sheep?

We weren't acting in Hype!. They filmed us playing a show and getting drunk while doing an interview; nothing new there, except for the cameras. Black Sheep on the other hand, was weird and fun. They flew us to L.A. to film a show which was supposedly taking place in Seattle. The audience consisted of extras paid to act like Mudhoney is their favorite band. We didn't have to try to win the audience over. As soon as Penelope Spherris said "Action!" the place went nuts. one of the assistant directors was on the make so he stacked all of the tanned girls with plastic tits at the front of the stage. They had a stunt team which planned out exactly when and where they were going to stage dive. We mimed Poisoned Water Poisons the Mind four or five times. By the third time I was almost convinced we were playing it live and that we really are one hell of a band. We also got to "act." They gave each of us a line. Someone else's voice got dubbed over Dan's for no apparent reason. Penelope kept saying, "The camera loves Matt." Tad got his SAG card for his small speaking role in Singles, so we figured that we'd get ours. Unfortunately, they don't give you a SAG card if you're playing yourself. We may have been playing ourselves, but we were acting. Steve's never called anyone a "jag" before getting the script, ad the chance of me complimenting a sloppy fat guy on his "threads" is slim.

Did you or any band members get high with Chris Farley? No. I'm not sure what part of his NA cycle he was on, but he was on top of it and pretty damn funny. He did have a small entourage, maybe they were his minders. He seemed more interested in the girls in the front row than us.

If it goes platinum, Bob will be able to buy his own goddamn sweater.

Prospective title for the new LP?

Tomorrow Hit Today or Beneath the Valley of the Underdog.

Worst band you've ever seen in your life?

God, that's a tough one. There are all kinds of bad band's you'll never hear of like Dusseldorf's Dead Fish Go Bananas, who poured liquids over Steve's amp protesting the fact that the audience didn't like them; Columbia MO's Icon who tried to meld REM and the Chili Peppers while covering Paranoid, or the Parisian skinhead Oi band who brought little tables on stage to set their wine on. The last time we toured Europe we played a bunch of festivals with Blind Melon, who were one of the most ineffectual bands I've ever witnessed. There are tons of bands I don't dig who can at least move an audience. I expected that much from these guys. They had a big hit and I figured there must be some reason for it. I don't mean to disparage the dead but it was painful to watch. Sponge was also on a bunch of these bills and by the way they hopped around you'd think they were blasting Ace of Spades or something, but all that came out of the PA was "plink, plink, ya ya yeah" power pop sans the snap and crackle.

First record purchased?

I bought Desolation Boulevard by Sweet when I was in Junior High. This was after a long struggle with my mom who didn't want rock 'n' roll in the house. I did have a small stash of singles I'd purchased in elementary school. They're much easier to hide than albums. The first single I bought was Yo-Yo by the Osmonds. It's hard for me to fathom at this point, but I had to hide an Osmonds record from my parents. A couple of other singles that I remember having to hide were Seasons in the Sun, Radar Love, a bizarre novelty song called Wherewolf by the Five Man Electrical Band, Grand Funk's version of The Locomotion, and The Show Must Go On by Three Dog Night. A fourth grade friend of mine had two albums, CCR's Cosmos Factory and some later Beatles album, the one where they're standing in the doorway of a church and they all have big ass beards. The Beatles record got a couple of spins, but we played Cosmos Factory nearly every day after school. I'd still rather listen to Creedence Clearwater Revival than the Beatles. I'm baffled by any band that tries to sound like them. I like their movies, though.

Describe your first date.

It took me three weeks to summon up the courage to ask Karen Acherhof to the Junior Prom. I would talk to her, but I couldn't spit out the words. By the time I did, I'm pretty sure the whole school was aware of my intentions. This was a small Christian school/ Rock 'n' roll was the devil's music; dancing was not allowed. I picked her up wearing an ill-fitting tux, driving my dad's Datsun 710 station wagon. I think it took place in the lower level of the Space Needle. I'm pretty sure it was somewhere in the Seattle center. It was just an awkward formal dinner. I kept going over some sort of goodnight kiss scenario as I drove her home. Would we kiss in the car? Would I walk her to the door and kiss her on her parents' porch? We pulled up on her driveway and she just opened the door, said, "Goodnight" or "Thanks" or something and went inside. No kiss.

If you could go back in time, where would you go and why?

I don't know, perhaps a tropical island, well before Western influence, where the folks barely wore anything and ate fruit and fish all day, or maybe among the Nez Pierce 250 years ago. I really have no desire to go back in time. I'm a fan of the flush toilet.

Worst thing to ever happen to you on stage?

I had this horribly embarrassing freakout/tantrum ten minutes into our set in Nijmegan opening for Sonic Youth during our first European tour. Earlier that day, Steve sliced open his palm on a broken car antenna in Hamburg. After he got out of the hospital it seemed like there was no way we were going to make the show. Dan, Matt, and myself hit the vodka during the frantic drive. This was our third or fourth week of a nine week tour. We only knew twelve songs which went over very well in England (where the Sub Pop hype machine was working its voodoo). The continent, especially Holland, was a different story, because our booking agent was from Holland and we played 14 shows there. This is a country that takes three hours to go top to bottom and two hours to go East to West. We arrived at the venue 10 minutes before we were supposed to play. I wish we'd gotten there 15 minutes later. I was drunk and freaking out over Steve's hand and trying to make it to the show. The tour seemed like an eternity and we weren't even half way through it. The next thing I know, we were on stage in front of hundreds of Dutch people politely waiting for us so they could see Sonic Youth. Well I was having none of that. These motherfuckers were gonna rock if I had to beat up everyone in the place. I jumped into the crowd, threw a few drunken waterlogged punches and got back on stage. No response, except maybe for confusion, so I cursed 'em and stormed off the stage expecting my boys to follow. They didn't. They were as baffled as the audience. So I'm backstage and they're playing the rest of You Got It, then they go into Need. I'm thinking, "Great, they're gonna play the rest of the set without me. I could stay here like an ass pr I could go out there like an ass and pretend like nothing happened." After they played another song I sheepishly went out and joined my band. Did I tell you Steve played the whole set sitting down with a big ol' bandage on his hand? It must've been a strange show to watch. Nijmegen never invited us back.

top five guitar players of all time.

Ron Asheton, Steve Cropper, Tom Herman, Roland S. Howard, Steve Turner.

top fave singers of all time.

Howlin' Wolf, Alice Cooper, Gerry Roslie, Don Can Vliet, John Fogerty, and I'd have to include Iggy Stooge (no surprise there).

top 10 fave LPs of all time!

It's hard to pick 10, or which album from any particular combo. I could fill the list with Beefheart or Mingus LPs or take up three spots with the Stooges. Here's 12 time tested albums in heavy rotation at the Arm household: Flesh Eaters A Minute to Pray, A Second to Die, Residents Duck Stab, Pere Ubu Dub Housing, Stooges Fun House, Fred MacDowell Amazing Grace, Captain Beefheart Spotlight Kid, Howlin' Wolf Chess box set, Alice Cooper Killer, Charles Mingus Mingus Ah Um, Tim Rose Morning Dew, Groundhogs Split, The Birthday Party The Bad Seed/Mutiny.