Subject: TrashMasters 1997 results
Date: Sun, 07 Dec 1997 21:37:48 -0500
From: Charlie Steinhice <charlies@vol.com>

Thanks to all participants in TrashMasters 1997, held this
weekend in Chattanooga.  I actually had fun, which I'm told is unusual
for non-masochistic tournament directors.  Below are team results,
individual honors, and the K-Tel Hell recap.  By the way, if anyone else
wishes to purchase packets (either disk or hard copy), let me know.

TEAM RESULTS
        Congratulations to 75% Gerbil-Free (Greg Sorenson, James
Quintong, Rebecca Golden, and Rick the husband of Julie Stahlhut, whose
last name is either Stahlhut or something else), who ran the table by
virtue of two close wins against other top contenders.  In fact, just
for the fun of it, 75% Gerbil Free played an exhibition match against
the runner-up, La Porta e Fatti di Zuppa (Dwight Kidder, Joe Wright,
Paul Harm, Julie Stahlhut) on the playoff packet and won by 5.  In the
no-Stahlhut division, the top teams were Soul Truck (Chris Sloan, Tom
Michael, Keith Hudson, Steve Schroeder) and Mike Keenan Employment
Agency, LLC (Craig Barker, Mike Burger, Anne Mitchell, and Rob Long.)
The Keenanites, from Michigan, placed highest of any non-Masters team.
        Here are the final standings, with affiliations (if any) in
parentheses:
        75% Gerbil Free                 12-0
        La Porta e Fatti di Zuppa       11-1
        Soul Truck                       9-3
        Mike Keenan Employment Agency    9-3    (Michigan)
        Original Gangstas                7-5    (Kentucky)
        Phantom Head-Shavers of Brighton 6-6    (Lee U.)
        Will Play for Food               6-6    (Auburn-Montgomery)
        Polish Uphill Ski Team           6-6    (Bowling Green)
        Cult of Personality              5-7    (Bowling Green)
        The Dross                        3-9    (Lee U.)
        Ohio Mtn. Climbing Club...      2-10    (Bowling Green)
        Oh Shit, We're on Fire          1-11    (Memphis)
        Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Film  1-11    (UT-Chattanooga)

INDIVIDUAL HONORS
        Prizes (and I'll let someone else describe them) were awarded to
the top 10 finishers, in order:
        Dwight Kidder, La Porta e Fatti di Zuppa
        Greg Sorenson, 75% Gerbil-Free
        Douglass Grote, Polish Uphill Ski Team
        Craig Barker, Mike Keenan Employment Agency
        Scott Sanders, Phantom Head-Shavers of Brighton
        James Quintong, 75% Gerbil-Free
        Colin Gill, Will Play for Food
        Steve Schroeder, Soul Truck
        Keith Hudson, Soul Truck
        Jason Stephens, Oh Shit, We're On Fire

K-TEL HELL
        TrashMasters was graced (or disgraced) with a musical interlude
Saturday.  I brought a stereo with turntable and a selection of my
cheesy anthology albums of '70's and '80's music.  The object was to
identify song and artist from the intro.  A preliminary round with a
fill-in answer form narrowed the field to 10 finalists, who competed in
the buzz-in finals.  Based on the prelims the finalists looked very
competitive, with the highest scorers out of a possible 100 being Greg
Sorenson, Keith Hudson, and Seth Kendall, who all scored around 70.
However, when it came to buzzing in, Rob Long of Michigan utterly
dominated the finals, outscoring the 2nd place player by 2 1/2 to 1.
Rob receives well-deserved congratulations, a Wham! single, and the
title of K-Tel Hellion (which can only be bestowed by me in my official
capacity as the Dark Lord of K-Tel Hell.)

=====================================================================
Charlie Steinhice               "Come, come!  Why, they couldn't
Chattanooga, TN                    hit an elephant at this dist..."
(center of the known universe)     -- Gen. John Sedgwick

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