Dear Board and Recipients of the BOD E-mail,
    Rarely do the board meeting minutes portray accurately all that goes 
on at a board meeting.  I hope to more accurately portray the 
intricacies of a gathering of the rag tag crew which makes up the Open 
Computing Facility. 
    In attendance were Jeff Emrich, and Ken Ott, who look surprisingly 
like each other (hint.)  Also were Bem and Primrose; Andrew Cheng and 
his sidekick Bret; Gabriel Gonzales, Akop, Steve M, the Eugenes, 
Patrick, Jeremy, Jiong and Stephanie, our sane female.  We had a new 
visitor Kaushal.  Our comment for the sign up sheet was a question with 
respect to the nipple hair that Eugene had plucked and showed to most of 
us in the lab immediately before the meeting.  Oh let me not forget the 
Calman; I'm there.
    The meeting begins with me volunteering to take notes for the 
meeting.  The diversions start with mention that a member by the name of 
Michael J. is not there.  Jokes about EEK and a man by the name Michael 
J. being gathered in the same room are yelled and chuckled over. 
    Steve manages to regain control of the meeting.  In his usual 
hesitant manner he recants a tale of how he met with Tom Cordy, Lavonia, 
and their constituents.  The topic was the much dreaded Memorandum of 
Understanding.  Essentially we are desired to give certain assurances to 
Cordy, and we want them from him.  The ridiculous nature of this is 
brought up in as much as the OCF has a rotating membership and we can't 
ensure what the next Board will decide or the next staff is willing to 
do.  We decide that the Memorandum will be more thoroughly discussed 
later in the meeting.  Steve also mentioned that we now have a door with 
a lock.  This makes it easier for us to hide from users in the server 
room.  This has been much needed. 
    Enter Primrose from the window.  She and Bem are so perfect 
together.  The both proceed to eat lyche Jelly with a veracity that 
scared even me.  That just can't be healthy.
    When everyone finished heartily welcoming OCF female #2, Akopps 
began the SM report.  He mumbled his usual techno geek jargon above the 
heads of all but a select few of the staff, "famine  . . . . conquest . 
. . install . . . disk."  Beautiful singing drifted in from the window, 
and the Board was soothed long enough to let our red brother finish his 
business. 
    Gabe and Bem chat across the room about the code for twim after we 
all complain about how many man hours are spent on installing 
StarOffice. 
    Printing!  So we've all been quite tired out by dealing with the 
fact that users couldn't print.  It was probably a good bill, but lets 
face it, we're all sick of explaining StarOffice, despite it being a way 
to meet women.  We by acclamation decide that printing should return.  
Jeff has his panties in a bunch and so he asks for a hand vote.  6 to 3. 
 We all get to study when we hang in the lab. Akopps mentions that he 
abstains because he doesn't care about windows printing.  And jokes are 
made about how much better service women in the OCF get than guys. 
    EEK suggests allocating only a fraction of the paper for each day.  
6 to 3 against.  Unfortunately so much commotion is going on that Ken 
motions for the meeting to come to an end.  I second.  Well, this causes 
an unbelievable commotion, and I resend, since I was only kidding 
anyway.  Then we all proceed.  We all argue more over EEK's bill.  So we 
all finally give up and suggestions are made that something could be 
coded so that users would see a message when printing a lot.  This is 
left up to EEK since he's a twisted genius.  Patrick reenters and we all 
cheer.  He must feel so loved.
    Bem and Primrose take the distraction as a chance to frolic.  When I 
comment Primrose threatens to get sexual with him right then and there.  
One of these times I should call her bluff and get some footage for my 
web sight.


New Business
------------------------------------
Chatter continues over a staff harem and which is a better expenditure, 
beer, money or dancing girls.  It was a heated topic with good 
suggestions from all sides.  No conclusion was reached.  SMCC was about 
as frustrated as Kermit on the "Muppet Show"  ( and bore a strange 
resemblance.)  So we finally got to the MOU:
What we want is:
A space guarantee
Access to the Lab 24/365
and Maintenance
What Cordey wants is:
Money for Electricity
Thanks for Gateway

Another debate forms between myself and Primrose over the gateways role 
in bringing women to the O.C.F.

Suzie then enters.  A couple of jokes are made about her heaving bosom 
and all the men lust for her candy.  Um . . . that's real candy.  She 
has a bag of it, which Ivan grabs for.  Republicans are so greedy.  Drew 
spill even more Soda and rushes off to clean it up.  By the time he 
returns it's been absorbed by EEK with forms off the wall.  Drew returns 
and is totally confused to find no mess.  He's Cog. Sci.  and so we all 
understand. 

I'm not sure what happened for a few minutes, weed started to drift in 
from the window, and Suzie starts to eat a lollypop.  When I finally 
realize where I am we're arguing about the Door.  Police have complained 
about the fire exit.  We all decide that it's a moot point since we have 
it locked anyway.  Special note was made of the fact that Ivan set it 
off. 

We then discussed budget some. 

Ken makes a suggestion of a library which is postponed for more 
information. 

Finally we all vote Ajani, pboynton, ivan and jjlin back onto the board. 


We all rush to get out.