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This is a first draft of an idea I
had...
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2002-10-02
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Imagine a company, the Rio
Idiota Acaparar Agua (RIAA) bottled
water company which sells bottled water. Now the RIAA is extremely worried
that people who have bought their bottled water may drink it, fill the bottle
back up, and then share it with their friends and neighbors. The RIAA
insists that their customers' friends should buy their own bottled water,
and that sharing water, even if it is of a lower quality than the original,
is a violation of the RIAA's right to be the sole distributor of Rio Idiota
Acaparar Agua bottled water.
Sharing the water becomes popular anyway. Customers of the RIAA bottled
water company set up flea markets
where they share bottled water for free. Lots of people who visit the
flea markets find water they like. They say, "Hey, this RIAA bottle
ain't bad. I think I'll go buy the real thing. It'll be even
better!" RIAA starts to see their sales
of bottled water increase. Manufacturers of lemonade mixes and
other complementary products see their sales increase
too. Even so, the executives at RIAA are miffed. They wish
they had thought of the flea markets, they wish they could charge a fee to
enter the market, and they wish they could put a price on every single exchange
of water, indeed on every drink.
So, being big businessmen who have contributed lots of
money to their representatives, they start calling in some favors.
The government jumps to their defense. First they shut down
the most popular flea markets and in time make progress on wiping out
the smaller ones too. But this isn't enough. Representatives
Boreman and Cobra introduce
a bill that would give agents of the RIAA bottled water company the right
to stop the water-drinking customers of RIAA from sharing their water with
others. Although ordinarily it would be illegal to go into your customer's
homes and lock up their refrigerators so that they couldn't get to their
bottled water, the new Boreman-Cobra bill would allow the RIAA this small
measure of "self-help". Also, if they catch you in a flea market, they
are allowed to chase you around and make sure you don't share your water
with anyone else. Never mind that you might be at the market for other
legitimate purposes. This bill assumes your guilty until you can prove
that you're innocent. It's a great innovation over that tired old police
and judicial system that we used to use.
Representative Boreman defends
the bill and says, "Look, now the agents of the RIAA are not allowed
to break your refrigerators. They're not allowed to keep you from getting
at your turkey sandwiches either. I'm just advocating that they be
allowed to sit in your kitchen by your refrigerator and make sure that you
don't go in there with the intent of sharing any Rio Idiota Acaparar Agua
bottled water. And sure, if you try to do that, they can wrestle you
down to the linoleum floor and have a good hair-pulling brawl with you, but
c'mon, clearly these water-sharing lunatics must be stopped! And sure,
they can try to trip you at the market, and put gum in your shoes, but again,
clearly I must defend the RIAA bottled water company's exclusive right to
distribute their bottled water at all costs! After all, they didn't
pay me all
this money for nothing!
RIAA customers complain that their elected representatives are listening
more to a group that just admitted to illegally
fixing the prices of bottled water than they are listening to their constituents.
Customers have even heard that the RIAA bottled water company exploits
its workers at the bottling plant and that they turn away lots of qualified
employees in favor of those who are trapped in outrageous contracts that
amount to indentured
servitude. Some RIAA workers said they were making more
money due to the demand that sharing created. But mainly RIAA customers
ask, "Why does the RIAA get to send vigilantes into my home to be judge, jury,
and executioner in one? Where's that jury of my peers?" (The
original P2P network.) Things started to look better when the customers
of RIAA realized they'd been giving their money to the wrong people.
They began to solve their problem when they stopped buying water from Rio
Idiota Acaparar Agua and spent
their money instead on government representatives that
wanted to defend their
rights to share. They started giving money to non-profit organizations
like the Ever Flowing Free water society (EFF.org) who sought to defend customer's rights.
And little by little, things started to get better.
-B. W. Carver
Note: There are obvious objections to almost any analogy, including this
one. As I said, it's a first draft of an idea. When I get time I might worry
about objections and improvements.
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Don't expect any updates for a while.
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2002-10-02 |
I'm currently applying to
law schools. This makes a person very busy.
The lucky candidates (in no particular order) are:
University of California -
Berkeley (Boalt)
University of Chicago
Columbia University
Duke University
Georgetown University
Harvard University
N.Y.U.
Stanford University
University of Texas - Austin
Yale University
These are all ranked
very well, but I'm hoping by applying to several, something will work out.
I'll keep you posted.
-B. W. Carver
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