Top 8 places to take grad photos this year
Tired of seeing the same old graduation photos on Facebook every year? Don’t worry, so are we. It seems that every other grad photo in…
Everyone wins in new Communist ASUC elections
In a spectacular bureaucratic victory for everyone involved in this year’s ASUC elections, members of the current student government have decided to adopt a Marxist…
Cal Dining serves “green” food for St. Patrick’s Day, turns out it was just moldy
In honor of some Irish saint that no one really knows or cares about, our ever-inventive Cal Dining services rolled out a whole menu of…
Students’ will to live directly correlated with number of dog sightings per day
As midterm season (i.e. every damn week) crawls on endlessly while spring break seems somehow increasingly farther away, it is clear that Cal students need…
TeaOne Introduces All New Flavors for Midterm Season
Located on Telegraph Ave and the first floor of Eshleman Hall, TeaOne has quickly become one of the most popular boba places here in Berkeley. Recently,…
5 Ways To Avoid Buying Girl Scout Cookies This Season
Residents of Berkeley have had their self-control pushed to the limit this spring season ever since the local Girl Scout Chapter began their merciless assault…
Student Criticizes “Pathetic” Athletes in Winter Olympics after 15th Bag of Doritos
With a beer in hand and orange dorito dust powdering his extremities, UC Berkeley junior Joe Richard watched the winter olympic halfpipe competition in disgust….
Government shuts down to advise Trump on new haircut
Three weeks ago, the U.S. federal government shut down for three days, supposedly due to Congress’s failure to decide whether or not to incorporate DACA…
Women’s march participants happily watch Super Bowl without a shred of conscience
Just a couple weeks after thousands of women took to the streets in protest of systemic injustice, approximately way too many of those women proceeded…
Have a Merry Christmas!
Merry (Chancellor Christ)mas from the Beet! Be sure to sing plenty of CAROLS this holiday season!