Thanksgiving turkey would rather die than be pardoned by Trump
The White House tradition of pardoning a turkey every Thanksgiving has come to a screeching halt with a bold declaration from this year’s designated bird. “I…
The only two straight males in Gender & Women’s studies department found each other!
Shocking news from the normally irrelevant Gender & Women’s studies department Thursday—the only two straight males in the whole department found each other! Sean Gray…
Sophomore declares major he’ll regret 3 years from now
BREAKING — Sophomore William Peters broke his silence on Facebook last night by posting about his acceptance into the Media Studies program at UC Berkeley…
Berkeley College Republicans President challenges his secretary to an IQ test
In the wake of his alleged impeachment by BCR secretary Bradley Devlin, BCR’s disputed president Troy Worden has made a bold statement against his backstabbing…
Hero student adds frame to Facebook profile picture, single handedly ends racism
In the face of an increasingly racist and bigoted society, one student activist has decided to risk everything in her fight for social justice. UC…
Six weeks in, freshman start to set achievable goals
From exceptionally smelly roommates to the pedobear mascot, there is a plethora of things for a Berkeley freshman to complain about. Although issues such as…
Kingpin welcomes record sales from Free Speech Week police force
Though members of the Berkeley community have expressed discomfort towards the unprecedented numbers of police officers swarming the area, Kingpin Donuts has reportedly embraced this…
CS Major Newly Employed at Google tells English Major to Follow her Dreams
English major Paige Turner was allegedly nearly shocked into a coma last Wednesday when she was told by her friend in computer science, Tanisha Castillo,…
4/20 loses its appeal since weed is now legal
Following the outlandish and disgraceful spectacle that was the 2016 U.S. presidential election, liberal Californians basically had only one good political thing to look forward…
Foothill Dining Hall Utilizes Dorm Rats as Locally Sourced Ingredient
Earlier this week, Cal Dining announced their latest local ingredients night at Foothill dining hall— PieRats in the CaRatbean. Cal Dining plans on combining the…