Humanities student hopes to marry rich
Though the semester is quickly approaching its end, some seniors are still scrambling to find post-graduation employment. While certain majors are being scooped up by…
English major donates $50 to Cal, gets doorknob named after her
Recently, a young graduate of Berkeley’s Haas school of business has decided to give 25 million dollars back to his beloved major, as if Haas…
BREAKING First time in 50 years Sproul Flyer did not end up in recycle
[BREAKING] The Berkeley Beet has confirmed reports that at 11:03 am this morning junior Matey Bakir successfully gave freshman Kalyn Lilly a flyer that she…
California Drought Resurgence Traced to Moffitt Toilets
Californians rejoiced mid January as positive news finally broke in regards to the five year drought, with the United States Geological Survey claiming that the…
L&S Student More Likely to get a Valentine’s Day date than Advising Appointment
Lucas Schultz hesitated for just a second before sending his message, and he felt his heart flutter as he waited for the response. For a…
Martin Luther King Jr. rolls over in his grave during BCR event
Last Wednesday, a series of seemingly apocalyptic events combined with a festering post-election rage caused an upheaval in Berkeley that graces the front page of…
Therapy Dogs needing euthanasia after trip to Cal
Finals week is right around the corner, and Berkeley students have flooded the campus libraries in a desperate attempt to compensate for their lack of…
Haas Adds Personality Test to Application Process
Starting next year, a personality test will be added to undergraduates’ application process for Berkeley’s Haas School of Business. According to the spokesperson of the…
Its Just a Game After All
On a Saturday afternoon when even the gods themselves were weeping for Cal’s soon inevitable loss, thousands of poncho-clad Bears rolled into California memorial stadium,…
Abstinence on Tuesday
She looked incredible in her yoga pants and tight pink tank-top, a flirtatious outfit that left little to the imagination. “Are you ready?” I whispered…